107_proven_ways_book.compressed.pdf

Copyright © Patrick James, 2018 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher and author, Patrick James. Printed in the United States. Requests for permission for or further information on usage of this document should be addressed to: [email protected] LEGAL NOTICE The Purchaser or Reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and information. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, federal, state, and local, or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the Purchaser or Reader. The Author and Publisher assume no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaser or Reader of these materials. ANY PERCEIVED SLIGHTS OF SPECIFIC PEOPLE OR ORGANIZATIONS ARE UNINTENTIONAL. For more information or to contact the author, please go to www.HowToGetTheGirlNow.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for. ISBN: 978-1-946208-99-6

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” -Bruce Lee

“Damn Patrick, you just took it to the next level. You always give truth but this was jam packed with a ton of value. Freely given! Thanks brotha this was epic.” -Kyle H. “Patrick, somehow you understand all the dynamics going on in my “game” from just a few small details! You’ve informed me of mistakes I was making without even knowing it - almost like you were watching me!! Crazy since you’re coaching me from 12,000 miles away!! Fantastic advice, I bow to a true master! Many Thanks, I’m truly grateful, and I will apply your wisdom this coming weekend and progress to the next level! Cheers Chief.” -Greg S. “This might be the single smartest thing ever written in the dating niche.” -BJ P. “Patrick James, your advice is 11 times more amazing than Santa Clause could ever be. This has been a big sticking point for me and I am overjoyed that your material is helping me overcome it so quickly. Patrick, may Santa Clause NEVER give you a lump of coal, may he give you yachts and excellent books.” -David A. “Damn dude!!! I’ve been studying game/relationships for so long I forget what it’s really like out there sometimes… Your stuff is fucking good. I’ve literally read everything out there on “how to be an awesome person” from The Charisma Myth, to every dating book on the market… I even wrote my dissertation on male/female communication!... Patrick, simply put, your book is a gem. It’s changed my dating life for sure. I thank myself every day for taking that leap and investing in it.” -Jim W. “You fucking rock. I’m still reeling from the realization that I can do what you guys are doing. So empowered right now.” – Scott D. “Yo Patrick, you’re book is fucking awesome. I used be pretty clueless when it came to how to stand and how to look. Most people used to tell me I always looked “awkward” now women are saying I look sexy, and I just started reading today! Thanks man I can’t wait to dive deeper into this and become an XQVWRSSDEOHEDGDVV'HÀQLWHO\UHFRPPHQGWRHYHU\RQHµ –Deakwan M.

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Table of Contents SECTION I: INTRIGUE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 The Attraction Tightrope. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Your Personal Pep-Talk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 The Seductive Gaze. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 The Mental Double Take. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 How Did Romeo Seduce Juliet? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Master the Art of Validate-Invalidate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Playfully Disqualify Her. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Read Her, Then Challenge Her. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 The Attractive Character. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Make Her Opinion a Tool of Attraction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 “You’re done in this city!…” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Steal From The Best. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 “You’re actually…” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 The Awkward Silence Destroyer Sequence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Which handshake are you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 The Porcupine Response. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 “You’re not a stalker are you?” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 Sex = Pizza . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 “If only…” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 “…But we can’t…” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 The Least Needy Thing You Can Do… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 “Do you know…?” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63 Bring Her Into Your Party! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 Inception Stories. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 Power Language. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74 The BEST First Text. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76 The Power of the Friend-Zone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Trade in Your Wingman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81 Become the Connector. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83 First Date Attraction HACK. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85 Stop Texting! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Be THAT Guy… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Your “Notch” Book. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

SECTION II: LUST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96 The Magic Ability She Can’t Resist. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97 Implying Her Innocence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101 The 2nd Best “First” Text. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 The Ultimate Takeaway.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 Looks DON’T Phase You… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Close… But No Cigar. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Her Blow Job Addiction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 Instant Rapport With Anyone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Mind Control… (almost) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114 Let Her Wonder. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 “Yes, Master…” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120 Don’t do that!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122 Zones of Intimacy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127 The “Money” Move. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129 The Slow High-Five. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 Get Into Her Bubble. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133 “Not Yet…”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135 Blame Her For The Escalation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136 Women Love Ass. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138 The Perfect Line While Kissing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139 Best Role-Play? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140 “She literally MacGyver-ed her number into my phone...” . . . . . . . . . . . 142 Learn From Comedy Gold. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145 Show Her How It’s Done.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147 Literally Pick Her Up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149 Condense Time. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152 Us Versus The World. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154 Our World Conspiracy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157 The Questions Game. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159 Afterparty Debauchery. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162 Inception Pulling.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164 Turn Yourself “On” First. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166 A Little PDA Never Hurt Anybody… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168 Trained Abundance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170 The 5 Windows of Opportunity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172

SECTION III: OBSESSION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175 The 3 Things About You… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176 The Perfect Text To Make Her Chase You. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179 Negative Space. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181 Turn Your Failure Into Her Obsession. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184 Her Sexual Hot Buttons. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186 The Power of “Please” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189 The “Tip to 10” Method. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191 Was This Fate? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193 Benjamin Franklin Trick. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195 Rejection Obsession. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198 Put Her In Time Out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200 The Soul Gaze. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202 Men Lie, Women Don’t Know They Lie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205 Be a Man on a Mission. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207 Know Your Type. Know Your Standards. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209 A Taste of Her Own Medicine. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211 Selective Anger. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 213 One Question Obsession. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 215 SECTION IV: GUEST SECRETS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 218 The “Handsome Guy” Expert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219 The WingGirl Method. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 226 Magnetic Messaging. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 232 Living BOLD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 239

PATRICK JAMES

Introduction

Y

OU, MY FRIEND, ARE A BADASS.

This book you hold in your hands is the best, and most comprehensive “how-to” guide on attracting women ever written. I

guarantee that you have never seen, heard of or read another book that was more actionable and provided you results as fast as this one will. Give yourself a pat on the back for investing in yourself and grabbing a FRS\RI \RXURZQ,W·VWKHÀUVWVWHSWRFRPSOHWHO\UHYROXWLRQL]LQJ\RXUGDWLQJ life, and the way you interact with women… I’m not saying that just to boost your ego. I say it because it’s the truth. The way I see it, there are two types of men who live in today’s society… 7KHÀUVWW\SHLVWKHVRPHWKLQJ,UHIHUWRDVWKH´7KLUVW\0DQ\µ This is the type of guy who lives in scarcity. He spends his whole life FKDVLQJVRPHWKLQJKHGRHVQ·WKDYHDQGZKHQKHÀQDOO\JHWVLWKHGRHV everything he can to NOT lose it. Simply put, he is playing not-to-lose rather than playing to win. This can be with his money… For example, he might spend years going to school to get a decent job, and then spend the rest of his life saving whatever money he makes. Never actually enjoying the money, but rather hoarding it for a false sense of security… Or it can be with women… For example, he might spend his whole life ORRNLQJIRU´WKHRQHµDQGZKHQKHÀQDOO\ÀQGVDJLUOZKROLNHVKLPKHGRHV anything he can to not mess things up because GOD-forbid if he ever had to wait for another decent woman to come into his life… This “scarcity” mindset is exactly what prevents him from ever getting what he wants in life. ix

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl But there is another type of guy… The second type is a guy who belongs to something I call the “Thriving Few.” These are the small percentage of men who choose to forge their own path in life. They refuse to believe that life is meant to be lived in scarcity, and they adopt the mindset of abundance. This type of guy loves exploring all of his options (often times keeping his options open), so that he can always be in control. This is pure freedom and power. Imagine a life where rather than having to settle for a girl because she is the only option you have, you are dating eight different women… And when \RXÀQDOO\ZDQWVRPHWKLQJDOLWWOHGHHSHUDQGVHULRXV\RXSLFN\RXUIDYRULWHJLUO from those eight. This is the essence of being in the Thriving Few — having your pick of the litter and living life on YOUR terms. So back to my original point, the reason that YOU are a badass is because \RXDUHFOHDUO\QRWVDWLVÀHGZLWKEHLQJLQWKH7KLUVW\0DQ\
It’s NOT about memorizing different lines or routines that you know won’t work the second you read them… Yet this book will give you a ton of word-for-word examples of exactly what to say, and when to say it to get any girl attracted to you (even if you completely butcher ZKDW,WHOO\RXWRVD\ (YHU\WKLQJLQWKLVERRNLVVFLHQWLÀFDOO\SURYHQ to work when it comes to attracting women.

•

It’s NOT about becoming a pickup artist… Yet once you learn just a few of these 107 attraction secrets, you’ll be juggling more women trying to sleep with you than ever before (heck, your buddies may even start to get jealous of your new results). x

Introduction •

It’s NOT about pretending to be someone you’re not... Yet once you VWDUWVHHLQJVXFFHVV\RX·OOIHHOPRUHFRQÀGHQWDQGXQVWRSSDEOHLQ every area of your life. So what is this book then?...

107 Proven Ways to Get The Girl is your no-guesswork attraction manual… ,QVLGHRI WKLVERRN\RXZLOOÀQGWKHEOXHSULQWWRFUHDWLQJFKHPLVWU\RQ command with any girl, avoiding the friend-zone, and keeping her attracted to you for as long as you want — even if you are short, broke, or have no clue KRZWRÁLUWZLWKZRPHQULJKWQRZ Now if you’re anything like I was 5 years ago, you’d probably think that this all sounds too good to be true. And I’m not asking you to believe me now because once you apply ANY of the secrets you’ll learn in this book, your results will speak for themselves… Contained in the following pages, you’re going to read the stories of how I’ve personally landed girls like famous Instagram models, NFL cheerleaders, ÁLJKWDWWHQGDQWVERWWOHVHUYLFHJLUOVDQGHYHQ&LQGHUHOODIURP'LVQH\/DQG%XW more importantly, you’ll learn exactly WHAT I did to attract these women — with each technique based on the science of creating tension, and PROVEN to work by the thousands of guys who I’ve taught them too. The truth is, if you want better results with hotter women, you don’t need WRKDYHWKHQH[WEHVW´SLFNXSµWDFWLFDQG\RXGHÀQLWHO\GRQ·WQHHGWKHQH[W shiny-object promising to help you “sleep with 10’s”… You need the PROVEN secrets to bring out sexual tension, in a way that makes women attracted to you... As you know by now, my name is Patrick James, and since starting this journey myself, I’ve had the unique opportunity to teach over 300,000 men from all over the world, just some of these attraction secrets… Testimonials are Á\LQJLQHYHU\GD\IURPWKHVHJX\VHDFKRI ZKRPDUHQRZSURXGPHPEHUVRI  the “Thriving Few.” And now I want you to join us. This book is your calling card. Which reminds me, let’s talk about how you are going to use this book… (DFKFKDSWHULVVKRUWDFWLRQDEOHDQGFRQWDLQVDVXUHÀUHZD\WRPDNHZRPHQ feel attraction for you. xi

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl That said, attraction is not an “all-or-nothing” emotion. Feeling attraction for someone can range anywhere from, “This person is intriguing.” to “I can’t live without this person.” to “Holy shit, fuck me now!” Which is exactly why I’ve broken this entire book into three separate sections — Intrigue, Lust, and Obsession. Before I explain what the difference between these three sections is, I think it’s important to give a brief overview of what the seduction process looks like. Here are the steps to “getting” any girl… Meet the girl —> Spark Attraction —> Build Connection —> Physical Escalation —> Sex )URPWKRVHÀYHVWHSVDERYH\RXFDQVHHWKDW$WWUDFWLRQLVVRPHWKLQJ that must happen early on — BEFORE you start building a connection with her. This is counterintuitive to most guys, but if you can understand that one concept then you are off to a good start… In this book, whenever I refer to “early on” in the interaction I am talking about the time after you meet her when the conversation is light, playful, and HQWLUHO\DWWUDFWLRQEDVHG7KLVFDQODVWDQ\ZKHUHIURPWKHÀUVWPLQXWHWR minutes. Whenever I refer to “the middle” of the interaction, I am referring to the time you transition from attracting her to connecting with her. This is where you start building trust, connection, and comfort with her — while also amping XSWKHVH[XDOWHQVLRQ$QGÀQDOO\ZKHQ,UHIHUWR´ODWHµLQWKHLQWHUDFWLRQ,DP referring to the moments leading up to where you have sex with her. When you understand the overview of the seduction process, you’ll understand how I wrote each section of this book… In section one of this book, you’ll discover all of the proven ways to make DJLUOLQWULJXHGZLWK\RX,QWULJXHWKHZD\,·PGHÀQLQJLWLVDÁHHWLQJPRPHQW of attraction. A blip on her sexual radar, but not much more. It creates enough interest to hook her in to the conversation and make her curious to learn more DERXW\RX,W·VWKHFUXFLDOÀUVWVWHSWRDQ\VHGXFWLRQ Think of the Intrigue section as things you’ll do “early on” in the interaction, and then pepper in throughout the seduction process as a spice in xii

Introduction WKHGLVK7KHVHDUHWKHEDVLFVRI ÁLUWLQJDQG\RX·OOXVHWKHVHDVWKHEXLOGLQJ blocks for later sections. The next section is Lust. In the Lust section I’ll reveal the secrets to making a girl think about you sexually. Rather than just being a blip of intrigue on her radar, she’ll start to think about kissing you, touching you, and even having sex with you. Think of the Lust Section as what you do after there is already some underlying attraction and rapport between you and her. While in some cases it may be acceptable to use these early on, for the most part you want to save these for the middle to later stages of the interaction. 7KHÀQDOVHFWLRQ2EVHVVLRQLVDOODERXWVSDUNLQJDWWUDFWLRQWKDWODVWV weeks, months, and even years. If you can master this section, then YOU, my friend, will have the ability to make any girl absolutely addicted to you. It’s these attraction secrets that will get a girl obsessing about you when you’re not around. She’ll be asking her friends, “What did it mean when he did this?…” And in the words of my good friend Rob Judge, “If you can get a girl thinking about you when you’re not around, then you can make her fall in love with you.” As you read through all 107 of these attraction secrets, start imagining how you can apply them to your own life, and how knowing each one of these secrets could have helped you in the past. :KLFKEULQJVWRWKHÀQDOVHFWLRQ«%HFDXVH,ZDQWWRJLYH\RXWKH)8// picture on how to make any woman attracted to you in any situation, I’ve enlisted the help of some of my friends. Each one of these people are respected experts LQWKHLUÀHOGDQGKDYHXQLTXHLQVLJKWVWKDWZLOOFRPSOLPHQWHYHU\WKLQJ\RX·OOOHDUQ from Sections One through Three. Their contributions will be in Section Four. My goal with this book is for you to be able to quickly refer to any one of these chapters no matter where you are, or how much time you have. Here’s how I recommend reading this book… First, go ahead and read this book from cover to cover, just like you would any other book. Make notes. Underline key concepts or ideas that stick out to you. And write any extra notes you have on the inside cover of this book with a pencil. xiii

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Then, go through this book for a second time without worrying about taking notes. Just read it for the pure enjoyment, and engraining the concepts WKDWVWXFNRXWWR\RXWKHÀUVWWLPH On this second pass through, pick out 3-5 of your favorite attraction secrets, and think about how you can start applying them to your life. Make it a game, and challenge yourself to use those 3-5 secrets as soon as possible. Then when you’ve tried all 3-5 of those secrets successfully, choose 3-5 new ones to use… Keep repeating this process as often as necessary. After reading this book just twice, and applying what you learn, this book will become the perfect quick-reference guide for you moving forward. You won’t have to read it cover to cover anymore because you’ll know the layout of the book, and will be able to quickly reference any chapter, anytime you want. Finally, always remember the famous Bruce Lee quote, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” The last thing I want you do is try mastering ALL 107 of these Attraction Secrets. In fact, if you master just 3-5 from each section, then you’ll be good to go. The only reason I am giving you 107 attraction secrets is so you never have the excuse of “not knowing what to do” when it comes to attracting women, ever again… After you go through this book exactly how I’ve just told you, you will have everything you need in order to attract quality women anytime, anywhere. Without any further ado, let’s jump right into it…

xiv

SECTION I: Intrigue

SECRET #1

The Attraction Tightrope.

S

EDUCING WOMEN IS A LOT LIKE WALKING A TIGHT ROPE…

On a tightrope, you must maintain perfect balance, from start to

ÀQLVKDQGLI \RXPHVVXSMXVWRQFH\RXZLOOIDOORII WKHURSH*HWWLQJD

woman to sleep with you is very similar… You can do everything right from the start, and be equipped with all the smooth lines, but with just one misstep, you can lose the girl. But for women, getting laid is the exact opposite. As long as she puts any effort into looking cute, some guy will still want to sleep with her. All she has to do is leave her home, walk down a busy street, and men will be attracted to her — guaranteed. While this might not seem fair to you right now, this is the way our world works. The sooner you accept this reality, the sooner you will be able to attract any woman, and maintain that attraction for as long as you want. 7KDWLVZK\LQWKHYHU\ÀUVW6HFUHWZHDUHJRLQJWRIRFXVRQZKDW127WR do when it comes to attracting women. Because as you can see, often times it is not about having the right tactic. But rather, it’s about not fucking it up. What I am about to teach you is the foundation to making any girl attracted to you. I call these the three killers of female attraction, and if you

don’t learn them, then your dating life will be destined for mediocrity. Here they are: 1. Building a Connection Before Sparking Attraction. Most guys believe that attraction is something that happens over time. They think that after he shows her how many things they have in common, or how “nice” he is, she’ll eventually like him. DO NOT make the mistake of believing this. 2

The Attraction Tightrope. Real life is not a romantic comedy movie. You are not her night in shining armor. Nor are you her soul mate. In real life the “nice guy” does NOT win in the end. By trying to build a connection with women before they are attracted to you, you are putting yourself in the friend-zone. 7KHEHVWZD\RXWRI WKHIULHQG]RQHLVWRDYRLGLWLQWKHÀUVWSODFH,I  you understand that you must make a girl attracted to you before you build a FRQQHFWLRQZLWKKHU,SURPLVH\RXZLOOQHYHUÀQG\RXUVHOI LQWKHIULHQG]RQH again. Building attraction is very simple, and you will learn exactly how to do that in the chapters that follow… 2. Reaction Seeking. Imagine a really good stand-up comedian. Do they ever tell a joke and then look at individual people in the audience, in hopes that they will start laughing? Or do they tell their joke, and then look off into the distance already waiting for the laughter to end because of the assumption that people will laugh? Obviously the answer is that the comedian already assumes people will laugh. He does not SEEK positive reactions out of his audience. The assumption of a positive reaction is part of what makes the comedian so good. This is the same mentality that I want you to take with all of the secrets you learn in this book. Because if you use ANY of these attraction sparking methods, and then start looking for her reaction, then she will sense your neediness and be turned off. Reaction seeking is one of the most pussy repelling behaviors known to man. Remember this, when people can sense that you want something from them, they won’t want to give it to you. It’s their subtle way of holding power over you. So use anything you learn in this with the full certainty of a positive response. 3. The Hungry Never Get Fed. Have you ever heard a woman say she wants a “nice guy”? Here is the truth… Women might say that she wants a “nice” guy, but truly only keep nice guys around out of pity. What women really want is a man who will challenge her through life, and has his priorities straight. In other words, he will always prioritize his own life goals and values ahead of her. 3

107 PROVEN WAYS TO GET THE GIRL What exactly is the difference between the man she wants, and a “nice” guy? 7KH´QLFHJX\µZLOOGRWKLQJVOLNHEX\ÁRZHUVIRUZRPHQKROGGRRUV open for them, and even buy her dinner. But he only gives her these things because he’s hoping to GET something in return. In plain English, he is a needy validation junkie. People of low self-esteem seek approval from others because their cup is not already full on it’s own. Nobody wants to be around someone who always needs something from them. On the other hand, the man she wants could do all of the same things for her (i.e. buy drinks, open doors, etc.) but he does not give a shit about her approval. Rather than giving her nice things to GET her approval, he gives because he wanted to give. This is the key difference. He is self-validated. From today on, I want you to stop trying to seduce women by building a connection with her, before she’s attracted to you. Also, promise me that you will be unapologetic in attracting her. Don’t seek her reactions, but rather assume that she will react positively. And lastly, STOP trying to attract women by being “nice” to them. If being the “nice” and “friendly” guy worked, then you would not be reading this book right now. Get rid of everything you’ve ever believed about what women are attracted to, and read the pages that follow with an OPEN mind. If you can promise to do that, then let’s continue…

4

SECRET #2

Your Personal Pep-Talk.

A

RE YOU ATTRACTED TO YOURSELF?

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE...

When I say “attracted to yourself ” I don’t mean that you should

be turned on every time you look in the mirror — but heck, that’s a lot

EHWWHUWKDQWKHJX\ZKRGHVSLVHVHYHU\WKLQJDERXWKLVRZQUHÁHFWLRQ You have to be proud of yourself, your accomplishments, your appearance, and where you are going with your life. Just think about it like this… If you do not value your appearance enough to work out on a regular basis, then how can you expect any girl be physically attracted to you? If you do not put any effort into dressing well at all, then how can you expect any girl to WKLQN\RXURXWÀWORRNVJRRG" This is common sense. One exercise I recommend is the “personal pep talk.” If you suffer from self-worth issues, and tend to think that super hot girls are out of your league, then this is for you. Truth is, no girl is out of your league. Stop thinking like that. Attraction starts with you. The way you treat yourself, and talk to yourself ZLOODIIHFW\RXUFRQÀGHQFHDQG\RXUYLEHZLWKZRPHQ 7KHÀUVWUXOHRI VHGXFWLRQLVZKDWHYHU<28IHHOVKHZLOODOVRIHHO7KLVLV commonly referred to as the “Law of Emotional Transfer.” So if you feel that she is out of your league, she will feel that way too. Here is how your personal pep talk works… Each day, as a part of either you morning or nightly routine, look at yourself in the mirror and spend a few minutes telling yourself how fucking awesome you are. For instance, if you were to do this right now, you could look in the mirror and say something like: 5

107 PROVEN WAYS TO GET THE GIRL “Dang I look great today. Seriously. How awesome is it that I live in a world where I can read a book and know all the top ways to attract women. Just imagine how awesome my life is going to be when I have so many options with women that I’m turning them down simply because I don’t have enough WLPHIRUDOORI WKHP(YHU\WKLQJIURPP\VPLOHWRWKHZD\P\VKLUWÀWVPHLV on point today. I feel sorry for any girl who doesn’t get the chance to meet the awesomeness that is me.” I know this might sound a little ridiculous and over the top, but it’s supposed to be! This is your personal pep talk, so don’t hold anything back. This is the one place where you can say whatever you want to yourself, and not be afraid that other people will judge you. The more ridiculous and cocky your pep talk is, the better. Heck, if you start smiling and laughing even just a little bit when doing this, then you’ll immediately be in a great state. Your awesome mood will be a by-product of allowing yourself to be a little cocky in front of the mirror. Anybody who you happen to meet while in this state will immediately feel that way too. After all, this is the #1 rule of seduction. Just make sure that when you are giving yourself the pep talk, you say all of this out loud and proud. Forget that anybody might hear you in the next room. This is your time to shine, and show appreciation to yourself. Say each word with emotion, and use your hands to emote your words as well. When I do this for myself, I’m clapping, pounding my chest, and sometimes even jumping up and down. The more you get your body into this, the better. You do not even have to spend a ton of time giving this pep talk either — MXVWDPLQXWHRUWZRZLOOVXIÀFH$QGLI \RXDUHVREXV\WKDW\RXGRQRWKDYHD PLQXWHRUWZRWRVSDUHWKHQVLPSO\ORRNDW\RXUUHÁHFWLRQDV\RXSDVVE\DQ\ mirror, and say to yourself “Damn I look good today.” After all, a quick peptalk in passing is a lot better than nothing at all. Start loving yourself. I give you permission…

6

SECRET #3

The Seductive Gaze.

Y

OUR WORDS MEAN NOTHING!

UCLA researchers did a study that showed 93% of all communication between people is non-verbal. Roughly 55% comes from

your body language, and 38% comes from your vocal tonality. And the other 7%?… The actual words you say. (Ok, I lied. Your words have some worth, but just not as much as you think they do…) You could be spewing verbal gold from your mouth, but if you have shitty body language, no woman will even care. And because of this, you should never worry about “what to say” to women. As the old saying goes, “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” And now that you know this, I have some good news for you… I am about to make things super easy by giving you my personal 3-point nonverbal checklist. These are the only 3 things I ever think about, and self-correct when talking to women. Let’s face it, you can’t control 100% of your body language at all times. Trying to do so would only make you robotic. But if you can get these 3 things right, then it will naturally create sexual tension in all of your conversations with women. Here it is… 1. Dominant, Relaxed, and Laser-focused eye contact. For the most part, you should not be breaking your eye contact. Realistically, I would say about 90% of the time you are speaking, you should be holding eye contact. But when someone is talking to you, and you are listening, you should hold direct eye contact about 98% of the time. The ability to hold strong, relaxed eye contact conveys power and presence 7

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl — two traits of super charismatic people. When you get this type of eye contact right, you will appear present, grounded, and dominant. To the other person, a simple comment like “Hello” becomes 100x more powerful than it would from someone who isn’t holding strong eye contact. Dominant, relaxed, and laser-focused eye contact will create a “bubble” between you and the girl. And when I say “bubble” I’m referring to that feeling you get where it feels like only you and her exist in that moment — all distractions around you seem to disappear. This is the same feeling that might KDSSHQULJKWEHIRUHDÀUVWNLVV If you are not comfortable with holding strong eye contact yet, then practice doing this with sunglasses on. This takes the pressure off of you because when you wear sunglasses, nobody can see your eyes very well. Your goal should be to naturally have dominant, relaxed, and laser-focused eye contact all the time, as a habit — with or without sunglasses on. 2. Sly smile. Powerful eye contact can be intimidating. That’s why we make up for this by having a sly smile on our faces. Smiling is the easiest way to convey warmth and welcome. It is also something that naturally charismatic people seem to be doing almost all the time. And when I say “sly” smile what I mean is that you are smirking with your mouth, and smiling with your eyes. Let me elaborate… 7KHDFWXDOGHÀQLWLRQRI D´VPLUNµLVDFORVHGOLSSHGVPLOHZLWKRQO\ one side of your mouth raised (a micro-expression of contempt). But what separates a smirk from a genuine smile is just one thing — crows feet on the outer edges your eyes. Therefore, a “sly smile” is a smirk PLUS the crows feet of a genuine smile (which convey genuine happiness). A smirk by itself, only breaks rapport. By mastering the sly smile (the smirk plus the crows feet on your eyes), you are breaking rapport with your mouth, and building comfort with your eyes. This is literally push-pulling with your body language (we’ll cover push-pull more in Secret #6). Additionally, by combining the sly smile with great eye contact you are now wearing the most seductive gaze known to man. To give you a better mental picture of this, imagine George Clooney having a light and charming conversation with a woman he is attracted to. It’s a playful smile, almost as if he knows a funny secret that the other person doesn’t. 8

The Seductive Gaze

Smirk = No Crow’s Feet

Sly Smile = Crow’s Feet

Smirk = Mediocre

Sly Smile = Seductive

3. Leaning Back. Guys who women chase always tend to be leaning back into something. This is the classic paradigm of Content vs. Context. The content is the words you say, while the context is all the nonverbal communication. Leaning-in conveys interest, while leaning-out conveys detachment. And when two people are talking, there will almost always be one person leaning-in while the other person is leaning-out. When talking to a girl, if you are leaning-in more often than she is, then it won’t matter how great your verbal game is because the context is that you are more interested in her. This is subconscious, and you might not really even notice it, but to her (and everybody else who sees you two talking) it is very 9

107 PROVEN WAYS TO GET THE GIRL obvious. So in general, always try to make sure that you are the one who is leaning back, allowing her to lean-in to you. This goes for just about any situation. When you are telling a story to a group of people, lean back. When you are sitting in a meeting, lean back. When in a job interview, lean back. And when you are talking to a girl, GHÀQLWHO\ lean back. Use these tips wisely my friend. These three nonverbal attraction triggers are the only three things you ever need to think about, and self-correct when talking to women…

10

SECRET #4

The Mental Double Take.

H

AVE YOU EVER RANDOMLY NOTICED A GIRL IN YOUR PERIPHERAL VISION, THEN

right after realizing how attractive she was you immediately looked back at her?

That, my friend, is called a double take — where you glance at something,

look away, then look back to get a better view. In this secret, I am going to teach you a banter technique that makes women do a mental double take with you. This is where you nonchalantly say something completely unexpected, but she doesn’t notice until a few seconds later (I have also heard these referred to as “brain scramblers,” a term coined by my friend Adam Gilad)…Or more literally, this is a banter tactic where you literally appear to be one way, and then tell her that you are the opposite way. :KDWPDNHVWKHVHVRHIIHFWLYHLVWKDWWKH\FRQYH\FRQÀGHQFHDQGQRQ neediness, without having to break rapport with her. They are also the lazyman’s way of destroying “interview mode” questions. Think of these as a pattern interrupt to boring questions. For instance, if a girl asks you “how are you?” and you say “better now that I’m with you.”… Your answer is different than what she was expecting. Here are some of my favorite ones. Feel free to steal these for yourself… •

While talking to a girl, give her the impression that you are super FRQÀGHQWDQGLQWURGXFH\RXUVHOI E\VD\LQJ´,·PLQVHUW\RXUQDPH  Be nice to me, I’m shy.” What makes her do a double-take is the fact WKDWVKHDOUHDG\WKLQNV\RXDUHRXWJRLQJDQGFRQÀGHQW%XWZKHQ\RX playfully tell her you are shy, it’ll grab her attention, and she’ll start playing along… You know you have said this in the proper tonality 11

107 PROVEN WAYS TO GET THE GIRL when she can’t tell if you are joking or not. She might even say something like “Oh my God you are not shy… Wait, are you really shy?” •

If she’s laughing at all of your jokes just say, “You know, it’s really awesome how you never laugh at anything I say.”

•

If you’re talking in a group of people, and she is standing there being silent, you could turn to her while pretending to be mad and say “Geez, will you stop talking so much?! Give someone else a chance to say something.”

•

If she’s really tall, tell her “We could never be together, you’re too short for me.” and vice-versa, if she is really short then tell her, “You’re too tall for me.”

There are literally countless ways to trigger these mental double takes in conversation. You are only limited by your creativity on this one. Use this secret freely. And don’t forget the seductive gaze from Secret #3…

12

SECRET #5

How Did Romeo Seduce Juliet?

D

O YOU KNOW WHAT

ROMEO DID TO MAKE JULIET SO OBSESSED WITH HIM?

,·OOJHWWRWKDWLQDVHFRQGEXWÀUVWOHW·VWDONDERXWWKHTXHVWLRQ “Does playing hard to get actually work?”

And the short answer is yes, absolutely. The long answer though… Hard-

to-get does not work in the way you might think. For instance, women in today’s world play hard-to-get in their own unique ways. A lot of this has to do with the fact that men are trained from a very young age to PURSUE women, and in the process, they end up giving women the power to withhold sex and reject them. However, if you (the guy) tried to play hard-to-get in the same way that women do, it will not have the same effect. In fact, the girl probably wouldn’t even notice. She would think that you are either not interested, or worse, gay. And we don’t want that for you. To play “hard-to-get” the right way, rather than seeming uninterested, you must create challenge. Challenge is an active demonstration of being hard-toget, whereas faking disinterest is more of a passive process. Think about becoming a challenge as “being the intriguing game that she wants to win” That’s right. When you become an intriguing game for her, that is when you become the guy she will chase. (See how this is different than all the guys who offer to buy her drinks, and compliment her to death?) And the best part is that when you know how to make one girl chase you, other girls take notice and will start chasing you too. This is just another one of those laws of female attraction… Women want the men who other women are attracted to (a concept called “preselection,” which we’ll cover in greater detail throughout this book) 13

107 PROVEN WAYS TO GET THE GIRL Which brings me back to my original question… Do you know what Romeo did to make Juliet SO attracted to him, that she would kill herself ? This is a trick question because it’s not necessarily what HE did, but it’s what he had going for him, in his favor… You see, Romeo and Juliet had a forbidden love because their families didn’t want them to be together. In other words, there was a BARRIER keeping them from being together, which made their attraction for each other much more intense. So to become a intriguing game for her to win, you must create these barriers, too. They don’t even have to be real because the only thing that matters is that she believes they’re real. Here are a few examples… A. Your Edginess as a Barrier. Let’s say you meet a girl, and the conversation is going alright, but you still need to spark some attraction with her… Just pause the conversation and say something like: “You know (insert her name), you’re cool and all. But we could never be together. I’d just break your heart… You see that guy over there (as you point to some guy who she’d obviously never be into, and would never date)? I can tell he likes you, and is probably more your speed….” You would say this playfully of course. You’ll know you’ve said this with the right tonality when she can’t tell if you are being serious or joking. The barrier, in this example, is the fact that you are too much of a bad boy for her, and don’t want to take her from another more innocent guy who likes her. Just make sure that you point out a guy who she would clearly never want to date. B. The “We Can’t Be Together” Theme. One time, I approached a girl at a local nightclub who was in the bottle service section. We were hitting it off, and it was actually her birthday night. The only downfall was that she came to this nightclub with her brother, who had paid for a table and bottle service. And because of that, he was hovering over her shoulder the entire time I was talking to her. So I paused our conversation and said, “You know, you’re actually really fun to talk to, but it’s too bad your brother clearly doesn’t want us to be together. Give me your number and we can continue this later…maybe.” 14

How Did Romeo Seduce Juliet? I said this with a sly, somewhat cocky smile, then she grabbed my phone and typed in her phone number. As for how this turned out? Let’s just say that she drove almost 30 minutes the next day to my place, so I could give her a late birthday present. ;-) In this example, the barrier I created was real. Her brother actually was annoyed that I was distracting his sister from their group. But I simply leveraged her brother to play up the “we can’t be together” theme of conversation. This attracted her like a charm. Here is the formula… Pointing out the barrier PLUS the words “we can’t be together” EQUALS you being the intriguing game she wants to win. C. The Last Second Condition. Let’s say there is a girl that you already have your eye on, and you want to ask her out. In situations like this, especially early on in the dating process, I will add a time constraint, or a last second condition to hanging out. For example, when I ask her to hang out, I’ll tell her that I can’t stay out too late because I have to be up early (this is my barrier). Here is what a text might look like if you were doing this, “If you’re free around 8 tonight, and you think you can hang, then let’s grab drinks @ (insert place). But promise to not keep me out too late because I’ve got to be up early.” In her eyes, this is a low pressure invitation. A lot of women do not want to feel trapped with a guy for several hours if they accept his invite to hang out. Therefore, by you preemptively telling her that you cannot stay out for very long, you end up taking a lot of pressure off of her. The best part is, if the date does go well, you can stay out with her for as long as you like, or even bring her back to your place. The barrier you created ZDVRQO\PHDQWWRPDNHLWHDV\IRUKHUWRVD\\HVWRWKHGDWHLQWKHÀUVWSODFH This is what I call the Last Second Condition — a condition you add onto the end of any invitation. This creates the space for her to chase you. You can even get creative with these last second conditions. For instance, if you want to bring her back to your place, just say something like “Sure you can come over, but only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself. I’m a good boy.” This is a last second condition, and also a Mental Double Take (Secret #4). 15

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Or if you just met her that night, you can say “I’d love to go to the bar and grab another drink with you, but only if you promise that the next story you tell me won’t be boring.” In this case, the last second condition is the fact you want to keep hanging out with her, BUT ONLY if she promises not to bore you (a PRUHVSHFLÀFH[DPSOHRI KRZWRXVHWKLVOLQHZLOOFRPHLQ6HFUHW $OVR notice how this invitation is already 100x better than the standard “Can I buy you a drink?” Even if these barriers (or conditions) are not true, simply implying that they might be true is enough to make you the intriguing-game-she-wants-to-win. The moral of the story is that people always want what they can’t have. And if you have ever wondered how to play “hard-to-get,” barriers are your answer…

16

SECRET #6

Master the Art of ValidateInvalidate.

I

N THIS CHAPTER,

I’LL REVEAL THE MOST BASIC AND FUNDAMENTAL WAY OF CREATING

sexual tension in any conversation you have with a girl. To do this, you must become an absolute master of pulling her in, and pushing her away at the same

time. This concept is most popularly known as “Push-Pull.” But you can also think of this as Hot-Cold, On-Off, Love-Hate, or as a backhanded compliment. What truly makes this work is the concept of misdirection. Magicians and comedians do this all the time. Every great magician has mastered the art of making you look in one direction, while he performs the trick somewhere else. Comedians are also great at one-liners that make you anticipate a certain punchline, but then surprise you with an unexpected ending. (If you don’t believe me, start to take notice of every joke you hear from now on. You will realize that most jokes are only funny because the punchline was unexpected.) The unexpected ending of a push-pull line brings out sexual tension, while DOVREHLQJSOD\IXO³WKHSHUIHFWFRPELQDWLRQWKDWPRVWSHRSOHFDOO´ÁLUWLQJµ Usually, lines of like this are meant to imply that YOU are higher value than her — this is called having a “higher value” frame. Here is a list of some lines that you can (and should) steal. Once again, make sure to say all of these with a playful tonality, piercing eye contact, and a sly smile… •

When you randomly approach her in public, open the conversation by saying “I had to come over here and talk to you, or I would have regretted it for at least 20 minutes…” 17

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl •

When she says something interesting about herself, say “You’re seriously the coolest girl I’ve met… On this side of the bar.”

•

When she teases you, say “Do you know what I like about you?… Absolutely nothing.”

•

When she tells you an interesting fact about herself, “I can’t talk to you anymore… You’re way too nice for me.”

•

If she tells you something you like, “You need to stop. I’m not trying to like anybody right now.”

•

When sending her an invite to hang out, say “Hey, a bunch of us are (insert an activity) later tonight, and I wanted to invite my favorite girl LQWKHZRUOGWRFRPH«%XWVKHFRXOGQ·WPDNHLWVR,ÀJXUHG,·GLQYLWH you.”

•

,I \RXÀQGRXWVRPHWKLQJ\RXJX\VERWKKDYHLQFRPPRQEULQJKHU in for a hug and say, “I love you.” Then stop the hug about half a second early, and push her away by saying “Alright, that’s enough.”

•

When you’re bantering with her, “There is something alluring about you… I don’t know if I love it or if I hate it.”

•

Or one of my favorite push-pull lines, which comes straight from the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love where Ryan Gosling is chatting with an attractive girl at the club. He pauses the conversation, looks her in the eyes, and says, “How are you doing this wildly sexy, but unbelievably cute thing that you’re doing?… It’s weird.”

The more subtly you can push her away, the better. Sometimes the more obvious the “push” is, the more try-hard you can seem — that’s why I like the line from Ryan Gosling so much. Because the “push” at the end was very subtle, yet still effective. Just enough to take away from the amazing compliment he paid her. It is almost like he validated her 90%, but not 100%. That missing ten percent is what sparks the sexual tension. In my opinion, this is the most basic and powerful tool than any guy can base his “game” off of. Every successful seduction had some elements of validate-invalidate. Why? (YHU\JUHDWVWRU\KDVFRQÁLFW-XVWWKLQNDERXWLWDQ\JUHDWPRYLH\RXKDYH 18

Master The Art of Validate-Invalidate. HYHUVHHQKDGVRPHVRUWRI FRQÁLFWWKDWWKHPDLQFKDUDFWHUKDGWRUHVROYH%\ VSDUNLQJVRPHWHQVLRQLQWKHFRQYHUVDWLRQ\RXDUHLQMHFWLQJFRQÁLFWLQWRWKH story between you two. :RPHQZDQWWKHGUDPD7KH\ZDQWWKHFRQÁLFWWRWKHVWRU\1RJUHDW PRYLHRUVWRU\KDV]HURFRQÁLFW,I DPRYLHZDVRQO\SRVLWLYHDQGKDSS\WKH entire time, nobody would like it. The movie would be boring. 0RVWJX\VVXIIHUZLWKZRPHQEHFDXVHWKH\DUHWRRDIUDLGWRFUHDWHFRQÁLFW and tension. So they over-compliment women and go out of their way to do nice things for her. :KHQ\RXQHYHULQMHFWVWURQJHPRWLRQVDQGFRQÁLFWLQWR\RXULQWHUDFWLRQV with women, then you become the most predictable and boring movie in existence. She does not want you to be predictable and boring. That is why you MUST master the art of validating and invalidating all women that you are interested in. Most of the time women will respond by giggling, and hitting you on the arm (a good sign). Plus… It’s just fun to toy with her emotions like that from time to time…

19

SECRET #7

Playfully Disqualify Her.

I

F THERE IS ONE WORD THAT MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN CAN’T RESIST, IT IS THE

word “No.” It is human nature to always want what you cannot have. It’s also human nature to want something that is retreating from you, even if you

didn’t want it before. If a girl is not currently attracted to you (or even knows who you are) playfully disqualifying her as a sexual partner could instantly spike her desire for you. To do this properly, you want to make it seem like you and her cannot be together for reasons outside of your control. So for example, if she has blonde hair, you could tell her “You’re really awesome. It’s too bad I’m not into girls with blonde hair. Blondes and I just never seem to get along…” From that point she could do one of three things: 1. She starts chasing you by qualifying herself. This is where she tries to convince you that her blonde hair is irrelevant, and that you guys would get along regardless of her hair color. This is the best scenario because now she’s the one chasing you in that moment. (We will go over the concept of “qualifying” in Secret #9) 2. She passively accepts your frame. In this scenario, she tries to ignore WKHIDFWWKDW\RXGLVTXDOLÀHGKHUDVDSRWHQWLDOVH[XDOSDUWQHUE\VKUXJJLQJLW RII DQGFRQWLQXLQJWKHFRQYHUVDWLRQ0D\EHVKHEULHÁ\DFNQRZOHGJHVZKDW\RX said, but still seems unaffected, positively or negatively. If this is the case, you are still in a good position because she is passively accepting your higher value frame (the frame of the guy who is disqualifying her). You are the one retreating from her, and like I said, we always want something more if it is moving away from us. Even if it’s only subtly… 20

Playfully Disqualify Her. 3. She could try to steal your frame. This is when she tries to agree with you but in a defensive manner, “Yeah, I know. We can’t be together.” But in reality, by trying to steal your frame, she just ends up agreeing with what you’ve already said. Which still leaves you with the power in this situation because you ZHUHWKHRQHZKRUHWUHDWHGÀUVWIURPKHUÀUVW Obviously all of these scenarios are happening under the context of SOD\IXOEDQWHU1RPDWWHUKRZVKHUHVSRQGVWR\RXUGLVTXDOLÀFDWLRQVKHVKRXOG never actually be offended, or argumentative with you. Ideally, by disagreeing with you, the sexual tension (and thus, attraction) will only become more apparent. 7RGRSOD\IXOGLVTXDOLÀFDWLRQFRPHXSZLWKDUHDVRQZK\\RXabsolutely could never be with her. Then use these as one-liners that you throw into conversation (or as complete themes of the conversation). Here are a few examples so you can get a more clear picture of how this works. From these examples, you should be able to tailor them to your own conversations with women… •

“It’s too bad you’re not my type, we could of had some fun.”

•

“You need to stop looking at me like that, it’s making me feel all weird down there.”

•

“We could never be together, I’m too dangerous for you.”

•

“Wow, I can already tell that you and I are NOT going to get along…”

•

“Please tell me you’re not a cat person. Cat people and I never get along.”

•

“You rooted for the Patriots last year?! That’s it, we’re breaking up.”

•

“Wait, you’re from Texas?! I never get along with girls from there…”

•

“You’re not one of those girls who cares a lot about what other people think of her are you?” (more on this line in Secret #42)

And try to make these REAL for you too. The truth is, most guys already have beliefs, values, and preferences for the women they want, but they are just too afraid to voice them. The typical beta-male move is to agree with a girl’s opinion on something, even if he doesn’t agree with her, just because he doesn’t want to offend her. Fuck that! 21

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl If a girl says “Oh my God, I love taco bell!” And you are a health-nut, who works out every day, and only eats organic food, rather than becoming a bobblehead and saying “Me too…” Use that as the opportunity to disqualify her, and SPIKE tension. Tension just leads attraction. So PLAYFULLY say something like “Oh you’re one of those taco bell eating girls?… Well, it was nice to meet you, but I’m not sure this would work out…” I promise, she’ll start chasing you simply because you don’t want her. Especially if she’s used to getting a lot of attention from men. She might reply by saying “…Well I only eat tacos sometimes… I promise I eat really healthy too. I go to the gym every day… blah, blah, blah.” This is called “qualifying herself.” Hopefully by now you’re starting to see how a lot of these early attraction methods are weaving together common themes. Now that we’re getting the basics down, let’s start jumping into the good, more advanced stuff…

22

SECRET #8

Read Her, Then Challenge Her.

C

OLD-READING IS AN ART THAT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES. IT’S WHAT

all those old psychic ladies with the crystal balls at the carnivals do to make money…

They look at your palm, and make educated guesses about the type of

person you are, based on their quick assessment of you. Because of their ability to “cold-read” someone, people feel like these psychics know more about them than they know about themselves. Therefore, people constantly go to them for life guidance and advice. Lucky for you, you do not have to be a psychic (or even good at coldreading people) to get a girl attracted to you by using this technique. All you have to do is be good at speaking in vague generalities, by using phrases like: •

“I feel like you…”

•

“You seem like…”

•

“You strike me as a…”

•

“You’re probably…”

The best part about using words like “feel,” “seem,” and “probably” is that nobody can tell you that your opinions and feelings are not true — after all they are just an opinion. She can only wonder “Wow, what made this guy think that about me?” or “How the hell did he know that about me?” Both of which are great questions for her to wonder. When she starts asking you “What makes you say that?” or “How did you know that about me?” then she is chasing you— meaning that she is asking you questions, and investing more energy into the interaction than you are. 23

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl When you do this properly, she will feel like you know her better than she knows herself. In the old-school days of dating advice, they called this a “demonstration of higher value.” One thing you must know about attracting women is that ALL women are attracted to men who they perceive to be “higher value” than them. When I say “higher value” I do not mean that you have more money in your bank account than her. What I mean is that she perceives you as someone who is higher on the social totem pole than her. When you can actively “demonstrate” higher value — using any of the methods in this book — she will be attracted to you. Plain and simple. Attraction is not a choice. Additionally, when you cold-read her, she will think that you are present to the moment. After all, someone who has ability to make such a perceptive statement about her has to be present. Women love when a guy is present to the moment with them. Finally, cold-reads are an emotionally relevant statement about her. If you have ever read +RZ7R:LQ)ULHQGV$QG,QÁXHQFH3HRSOH then you would know that everybody’s favorite subject is themselves. We all love to talk about ourselves. So when you make an observation about her, she will instantly be hooked into the conversation. Just to show you how easy this is, I’m going to cold read you right now… I’m willing to bet money that you’re probably the type of guy who, when Friday night hits, sometimes you want to go hang out with your friends be social, and just let loose. But on some other Friday nights, you actually prefer to just stay in, lay low, and disconnect from the world by watching a movie or two… Chances are you found some truth in that statement above. This is because everybody possesses traits similar to what I just described. It does not matter who you are, or where you are from, we all have times where we feel social, and times where we feel more introverted. The reads that I just made about you are vague, JHQHUDOVWDWHPHQWVWKDWDSSO\WRPRVWSHRSOHEXWDOVRVRXQGVRPHZKDWVSHFLÀF to you. Here is the magical, cold-read formula that you can (and should) use all the time: 24

Read Her, Then Challenge Her. —> Emotionally Relevant Statement about her… —> Elaborate on the Cold-Read with Certainty… —> Optional takeaway… To get you started, here are a couple cold-reads that you can use with any hot girl you meet: YOU: I know you’re type… HER: What’s my type? YOU: I’m willing to guess that you meet a lot of guys, most of whom GRQ·WUHDOO\LQWHUHVW\RX+RZHYHUHYHU\QRZDQGWKHQZKHQ\RXÀQDOO\PHHWD guy who interests you, you get really excited about him. But then eventually the magic wears off and you slowly start to lose interest in him. The worst part is, you don’t even know why… (pause) My mother used to warn me about girls like you. (**sly smile**) YOU: You’re totally a CEO girl… HER: CEO girl? What’s that? YOU: You don’t know what a CEO girl is? Never mind then, I probably shouldn’t tell you… (making her work for it) HER: No tell me! YOU: «UHOXFWDQWO\ 2NÀQH,·OOWHOO\RX«6RPHWLPHV\RXSUREDEO\JLYH people the impression that you have this tough outer shell. Like maybe they think you’re this super independent, hard-ass, go-getter — type A for sure. But I know you. You have a side of you that you probably don’t get to show very often to people you don’t know very well, where you really just want to be free, and give into your feminine side. Like you’re probably the type of woman who wants her man to just pin you down and take full control in the bedroom, don’t you?… HER: Omg, yes! YOU: «6R,·PMXVWZDUQLQJ\RXQRZ\RXVKRXOGGHÀQLWHO\VWD\DZD\IURP me because I’m like walking heroine. (**sly smile**)

25

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Don’t feel like you have to memorize these word-for-word, but rather memorize the gist of what each cold-read is accomplishing. The best part about ending each cold-read with a challenge, or takeaway, is that for a moment she will feel like you totally understand everything about her — because of which, she will feel a deep sense of rapport and connection with you. And the challenge at the end creates the tension and space for her to start chasing you…

26

SECRET #9

The Attractive Character.

O

NE COULD ARGUE THAT THE ROLE WE PLAY IN THIS WORLD COMPLETELY

depends on our FRAME. A “frame” is a word to describe how someone views the world, and

the rules they abide by. A perfect example to help you understand frames is the following parable I heard from Jim Rohn: “Two salesmen wake up one morning and there is a rain storm going on. One man looks out his window, sees the rainstorm and he says, ‘Wow, what a storm! With weather like this they can’t expect you to go out and make sales.’ And then he stays home... Same morning, the other guy looks out his window, sees the same storm and says, ‘Wow, what a storm! But you know what? With weather like this, what a great day to go out and make sales. Most everybody will stay home – ESPECIALLY the salesmen.’” Life is all about perspective. The best part about “frames” is that you get to choose which frame you see the world through. All you have to do is start taking the actions that someone with your chosen frame would take. One quote that I read years ago in a book called Thick Face, Black Heart is, “The world will tend to accept whatever judgement you place on yourself.” Which in my experience could not be more true. So let me ask you a question… What do you think the “frame” of a beautiful girl in a bar is? The answer is that most women in social settings believe that men are supposed to approach them, impress them, and win them over. That is her frame. 27

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl In every interaction there is always one person who is the buyer, and another person who is seller. A hot girl in a bar almost always chooses to frame herself as the buyer. This way she can decide to reject or accept whatever guy approaches her. You can always tell who the buyer is by looking at who is “qualifying” themselves to the other person. The term “qualify” means to sell yourself. And just like there is always a “buyer” in any interaction, there is always a person qualifying themselves — the “seller.” This person is trying harder for the approval of the other, and if you are the one trying harder, you have lower value. Imagine a guy going to a job interview… You could expect him to start OLVWLQJDOORI WKHWKLQJVWKDWPDNHKLP´TXDOLÀHGµIRUWKHMRE7KLVLVHVVHQWLDOO\ what you do when you “qualify” yourself to a woman. Unfortunately we live in a world where most men believe it is their duty to qualify, and sell themselves to women — in which case, they accept that she is the buyer in the interaction. From now on, I want you to be the buyer by always getting her qualifying to you. When a woman starts to qualify herself, she is slowly becoming more and more attracted, and there are several ways she might do this… For instance, she might tell a story that implies how great, smart, or awesome she is. Or she she might apologize about something and try to explain herself. Which brings me to my next point…? :KHQWZRSHRSOHZLWKFRQÁLFWLQJIUDPHVPHHWHDFKRWKHULHJLUOLQEDU vs. high value guy) TENSION is created — this is called a frame battle. And this tension is good because it quickly turns into sexual tension, which turns into attraction. What you should know about frame battles is that the stronger frame will always win. The person who has the weaker frame will always start emotionally reacting to the other person. For example, if you were to challenge a girl by saying “It would never work out between us… You’re way too nice for me.” She might pause, and then start giggling. In this case, her her giggling was her positive reaction to your clearly stronger frame — in other words, your frame won. 28

The Attractive Character. But on the other hand, if you approach a girl and she doesn’t really acknowledge you... The moment you start trying harder to get her attention is the moment you LOSE the frame battle. You are in reaction to her because you ZHUHUHDFWLQJWRKHUQRQFKDODQFHDQGVWDQGRIÀVKQHVV,WKLQNWKDW·VDZRUG  Here’s the secret that nobody has ever told you... She wants you to have the stronger frame. She’s hoping to meet a man who is grounded in his own reality because it’s in her feminine nature to be submissive to a masculine man. So have a strong frame. Truly ground yourself in it. Realize that when tension arises, this is a good sign because when you win the frame battle, that tension will become sexual tension, and sexual tension leads to attraction. Now the question becomes, how do you use this concept of frames to attract any woman? From today on, I want you to go into character. For actors in Hollywood, they call this “method acting”. By going into “character”, you’ll no longer have to micro-manage all your words and nonverbal communication just to frame \RXUVHOI DVWKHEX\HU«6LPSO\FKRRVH\RXUFKDUDFWHUDQGOHWHYHU\WKLQJÁRZ from there... Here are three tried-and-true character frames that consistently attract beautiful women. Use these as training wheels to spark some playful and attractive banter. You will be surprised with the clever lines that you naturally start to come up with… 1. The Justin Bieber. This is probably my favorite character frame to use. To do this just think to yourself, “How would Justin Bieber act around a hot girl?” Most likely he would be thinking, “she’s just another girl who is trying to get me into bed, and is clearly trying to take advantage of me.” Some common lines that might come from this character are: •

“You just want me for my body and not my mind. I’m not just some piece of meat you know.”

•

´,·YHJRWWRJRWRWKHEDWKURRP
•

“You’re not one of those crazy, stalker types are you? Not sure I can handle any more of those…” 29

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl 2. The Tim Tebow. Now Tim Tebow is an ex-college football quarterback, and played one successful season with the Denver Broncos. His football career was somewhat of a viral phenomenon because most people did not believe in his skills as a quarterback, but he continually proved everybody wrong by consistently leading his teams to a win. What makes Tebow even more alluring is the fact that he was a very good looking professional athlete, who was also a VIRGIN. That’s right, the guy who had everything going for him in sports had never had sex with a girl, and was proud to announce it on national television. The reason I call this character frame the “Tim Tebow” is because, although he was innocent, all the ladies still wanted him. The good thing is that you do not have to look like Tim Tebow, or be a professional athlete for this to work. What makes this character so attractive is WKHFRQÀGHQWERG\ODQJXDJHDORQJZLWKWKHLPSOLFDWLRQWKDW\RXDUH´LQQRFHQWµ or a “good boy” and don’t want that to change. By adopting this character frame, you can think of yourself as a walking Mental Double Take (Secret #4). Some common things this character might say are… •

“I can’t go home with you. I’m too shy for that.”

•

“You’re just trying to get me drunk, aren’t you? Stop. I’m a good boy.”

•

“Stop being naughty around me. I might have to tell on you.”

3. The Bad Boy. All women have a naughty part of them, deep inside, that is dying to be let out. However, in today’s society women repress those urges because she fears being judged negatively. Women fear letting out their naughty side because they don’t want people to see them as a “slut”. Part of what makes a bad boy so attractive is that he gives her permission to let out her naught side. After all, the bad boy, of all people, is not going to judge her negatively for being bad. A bad boy might say things like… •

“I always knew you were the innocent type.” (which causes her to want to prove him wrong)

•

“It’s too bad you’re such a straight shooter... We could of had some fun.” 30

The Attractive Character. •

“We’re doing (insert event). You can come, but only if you promise to keep up.”

•

“You’re not one of those girls who is easily offended are you?” (More on this line in Secret #22)

These are just three of many character frames you can use. For example, you can be charming like James Bond — who is more direct in his intentions, yet has a way with words. Or you can be an A.D.D. Rocker, like Russell Brand — who says what he wants, and does what he wants, all because he views the world as a giant playground. There are almost no limits on the various different characters that you can choose. But if you want to explore this topic even more, I highly recommend reading the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Women love to feel attraction, and they love the chase men. Give them what they want by choosing the frame that is most congruent to your personality. And don’t forget to frame yourself as the PRIZE. YOU are the buyer in the interaction. Lastly, feel free to switch up your style from time to time. Test different character frames out. You will eventually settle into one that works best for you… (For more on the concept of the frames and frame-battles, check out Pitch Anything by author Oren Klaff)

31

SECRET #10

Make Her Opinion a Tool of Attraction.

A

S WE ESTABLISHED IN THE LAST CHAPTER, ANY TIME YOU SPARK

TENSION,

that tension will quickly turn into attraction as long as you have the right “frame.”

Now let’s discuss the easiest way to create sexual tension, regardless of your

frame. All you have to do is ask for her about opinion on something, and then intentionally, yet playfully, disagree with her. Disagreements, and playful debates, are the quickest and easiest way to create tension. However, most men go out of their way to never disagree with women because they fear it will lead to rejection ³RIWHQWLPHVVDFULÀFLQJWKHLURZQEHOLHIVDQGYDOXHVLQWKHSURFHVV 5HPHPEHUFRQÁLFWLVJRRG,WLVZKDWPDNHVDQ\VWRU\LQWHUHVWLQJ Sometimes, just for the sake of attraction, you should intentionally create FRQÁLFW+HUH·VKRZ« Step 1: Ask Her an Either-Or Question. For example… •

“Who’s better at basketball, Kobe or Lebron?”

•

“Which is worse for you long-term, marijuana or alcohol?”

•

“Which cologne do you like better, A or B?”

•

´:RXOG\RXUDWKHUÀJKWDKRUVHVL]HGGXFNRUDQDUP\RI GXFNVL]HG horses?”

Step 2: Intentionally Pick the Opposite of What She Says. No matter how she answers your either-or question, intentionally choose the opposite stance from her, and playfully debate with her about it. Keep in mind that we 32

Make Her Opinion a Tool of Attraction. are not trying to defend our own opinions, we are merely creating some sexual tension. For demonstration purposes, here is a mock conversation, using one of the questions from above: YOU: Who is better at basketball, Kobe or Lebron? HER: Lebron all the way. YOU: Are you kidding me?! Kobe is way better than Lebron. Just count championship rings… HER: Umm yeah, but Lebron is way younger than Kobe, and way more dominant physically. YOU: Kobe didn’t earn the nickname “Black Mamba” for nothing… This is why we could never be together, we would always be rooting for opposite teams. (see Secret #5) Or another example… YOU: Which is worse for you, alcohol or marijuana? HER: $OFRKROLVGHÀQLWHO\ZRUVHIRU\RX YOU: No way! Marijuana is WAY worse. HER: Umm alcohol hurts your liver. Marijuana just makes you happy, and is a natural plant. YOU: Have you ever met a person who smokes weed a lot? They operate at half the speed as everyone else… Clearly it slows their brain down. (You can thank my friend Jason Capital for this great debate starter) The basic gist is that anytime you playfully disagree with her, you are sparking tension between you two. To most guys doing this might feel weird because the majority of men spend all of their time trying to build rapport with girls they like. By disagreeing, you are breaking rapport with her — which, ironically, is why this works so well. Breaking rapport is very counter-intuitive, but works like a charm. Just think about your own life… Who in your life can you disagree with, and still enjoy being around? Most likely, it is people who you are friends with, or know really well. If you can spark a playful debate with a girl, it will feel as though you have known 33

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl each other for a while, even if you just met her. I like to think of this as “assumed rapport” — where you meet someone, and instantly click with them. Just make sure to end any playful debate on a high note. You can do this by saying something like, “this is why we could clearly never be together,” or “this is why we could never be friends.” Here are a few practical ways you can use “either-or” questions in your everyday life… •

If you and a buddy of yours are debating about an either-or topic, and there is a cute girl nearby, you can bring her into the conversation… i.e. “Hey, me and my buddy were just debating, and we would like your opinion… Who’s better at basketball, Kobe or Lebron?”

•

If you’re at a retail store looking for new cologne, and you need a second opinion, you can start spraying different cologne’s and turn to a cute girl who is nearby, then ask, “Hey, can I get your opinion on something really quick? Which cologne do you think smells better — A or B?” If she suggests B, then you playfully say “Alright, I’ll go with A. Thanks!”

34

SECRET #11

Qgmj]\gf]afl`ak[alq

T

HIS IS A QUICK AND PLAYFUL THING THAT YOU CAN DO EARLY ON IN

conversation when bantering with women… Use this after you spark a playful debate with her, or anytime

she reveals something about herself that you don’t necessarily like (make it something innocent and not serious, i.e. she is a cat person, or her favorite color is maroon). The situation can vary, but the common theme is that you are surprised about something she has just told you… All you do is GENTLY nudge her away from you (using your hand on her shoulder) while simultaneously saying “That’s it, you’re done in this city!” Simple, yes. But do not underestimate how powerful this 7 word sentence can be. First off, you are breaking rapport with her because you pushed her away from you, verbally and physically. Secondly, you are breaking the touch barrier between you guys — which is why I like to do this early on in the FRQYHUVDWLRQ$QGÀQDOO\\RXDUHDGRSWLQJWKHKLJKHUYDOXHIUDPHE\SOD\IXOO\ implying that you have the power to kick her out of the city. It might sound ridiculous, but trust me on this one, this is a great way to set the tone of the interaction and start bantering with her in an attractive way. You can even use this concept in various ways. For instance, you could also say “I can’t even talk to you anymore…” or “Get out of here, I can’t even handle you…” as you gently nudge her away. The words are slightly different, but they accomplish the same thing. Like we’ve already established, the actual words you say mean a lot less than what the context of the situation is — which, in this case, is that you disapprove of her... This also works great as a response to any test a woman might give you. Which brings me into… 35

SECRET #12

Steal From The Best.

W

OMEN ARE THE BEST WHEN IT COMES TO READING SOCIAL CUES AND BEING

quick witted. This is because beautiful women, for their entire lives, have been

trained that men are supposed to work for them. This belief gets reinforced when guys hits on them almost every time they go out in public. Therefore, ZRPHQDUHH[SRVHGWRPRUHEDQWHUÀOOHGFRQYHUVDWLRQVIURPDQHDUO\DJHWKDQ most men will ever experience. As a result, women know exactly how to “test” a JX\DQGVHHKRZFRQÀGHQWRUVWURQJ KLVIUDPHLV/HWPHHODERUDWH« :RPHQWHVWPHQ7KLVLVWKHLUZD\RI ÀOWHULQJWKURXJKWKHJX\VZKRDUH FRQÀGHQWDQGWKRVHZKRDUHQ·W³WKHVHDUHFRPPRQO\UHIHUUHGWRDV´VKLW tests.” When women test a guy, they are actually trying to poke holes in his frame, and see how strong it is. Like we previously discussed, you have a weak frame if you start to emotionally react to her. In a nutshell, a woman’s test can come in the form of teasing a guy, asking him to do something for her, or even completely ignoring him. If he starts reacting to her, then she knows that she can affect his emotions, therefore she has power over him — and because she has power over him, she’ll feel zero attraction for him. On the other hand, if a guy is not affected by these tests, and he responds in a non-reactive, or even humorous way, then she instantly realizes that she cannot affect his emotions. Therefore HE has power over her, and she becomes more attracted to him. This is a constant dance that happens between men and women. From the moment a they meet, to the day they die, a woman will always be testing her man. 36

Steal From The Best. So your job as a man is to recognize and pass these tests consistently. (Side note: Getting “tested” by a woman is a GOOD THING. Women will only test a guy if she sees him as a potential sexual partner. On the other hand, she would never “test” a bum… So if a woman tests you, take it as a good sign. View it as your opportunity to make her ever MORE attracted to you, when you pass the test.) Throughout this book, you will learn a lot of ways to pass these tests. But in this chapter, I am going to teach you how to pass these tests before they even KDSSHQ
107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl •

If she says anything witty, sexual, or even tries to test you, just reply, “Is that your pick up line?” or “Does that line work with most men?”

•

If she pays you a compliment, say “You say that to all the guys don’t you?… I’m not that easy you know.”

•

If you and her are alone and there is a lot of sexual tension between you two, tell her, “Just so you know, we are not having sex tonight.”

•

If you invite her to hang out, or if she invites you out, or if you guys are going back to your place, say to her, “Fine. But I can’t stay out too late. I have to wake up early.” or “Fine. You can come over, but you can’t stay too long. I have to wake up early.” (recognize this from Secret #5?)

•

,I VKH·VFOHDUO\ÁLUWLQJZLWK\RXRULI WKHUHLVDQ\VH[XDOWHQVLRQ between you two in a social environment say, “I have a girlfriend… $QGLI VKHVDZWKLVULJKWQRZVKH·GWRWDOO\ZDQWWRÀJKW\RXµ7KLVLV the guy-version of the girls who always tell guys they have a boyfriend just to reject them. You can even use this as a comeback if she tells you “Sorry, I have a boyfriend.”

Using any one of these common shit-tests on a girl will catch her off guard, and skyrocket her attraction for you. After all, she is usually the one saying those to guys — rarely do men ever test her. It will interrupt her pattern, and instantly intrigue her. PRO-TIP: ,I VKHKDSSHQVWRWHVW\RXÀUVW\RXFDQUHVSRQGE\VWHDOLQJKHU frame, after the fact. For instance, if she says “You’re being needy right now.” You can respond by saying “Stop making me like you. Bad things could happen if you keep doing this to me.” Or is she says “We’re not having sex tonight.” You can respond by saying, “Of course not. I’m not that easy missy. Get your mind out of the gutter.” This is a great way to RESPOND to a shit-test, without REACTING emotionally to her frame…

38

SECRET #13

Qgmj]Y[lmYddq

B

Y THIS POINT OF THE BOOK, YOU MAY UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF CHOOSING

the higher value frame, but it might not be clear how you do this. For the most part, your frame will come through in the way you carry yourself, or

the words you say — often times it is a combination of both. The two words that I am going to teach you in this chapter carry a ton of power when it comes to sparking attraction. It can take any conversation (no PDWWHUKRZSODWRQLF DQGLQVWDQWO\ÁLSWKHSRZHUVFDOHLQ\RXUIDYRU$QGWKRVH two words are… “You’re actually…” I recommend using these two words after you have been getting to know her on a date, or in a conversation (preferably one that lasts longer than just a few minutes). Maybe it’s the end of a successful date, right before you guys go your separate ways. Maybe it’s after 20-30 minutes of conversation and she’s just opened up about herself by telling you a story about her past. Or maybe it’s ULJKWDIWHU\RXJX\VKDYHKDGVH[IRUWKHÀUVWWLPH«7KDWVDLGLI VKHDOUHDG\ knows you pretty well, and you are in the friend-zone, this will not work as well. All you have to do is pause the conversation at a high note, and say the following, almost like you are complimenting her, “You know, you’re actually a lot cooler than I thought you’d be.” Do you see the genius in that short phrase? The reason this simple little quip works so well is because it automatically LPSOLHVWKDWDWÀUVW\RXZHUHQ·WVROGRQKHUEXWVKHLVVWDUWLQJWRZLQ\RXURYHU In other words, you are actively putting yourself in the position of the buyer in this interaction. 39

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl You see, women respond to challenge. They love a guy who can challenge them, but at the same time be won over. Often times guys mess this up because they are too challenging. Think of challenging women sort of like riding a bike up a hill. Have you ever ridden a bike up a really steep hill, worked really hard to get to the top, and then actually make it all the way up? How did you feel when you reached the top? For a lot of people, they feel a deep sense of accomplishment for having conquered that hill. This is because they had to work hard just to get there, and the winning feeling at the end is worth the hard work. Challenging, and thus attracting women is very similar. Women like the guy who can challenge them, just because they want that rewarding feeling of winning him over. He is literally a prize — her prince charming, if you will. This is why as a man, it is your DUTY to challenge all women that you are attracted to. If you don’t, then you are not truly giving her what she wants. And just like it is your duty to be a challenge, it is also your responsibility to give her the opportunity to slowly win you over — without ever fully letting her win (once the challenge ends, she will get bored). If you are not a challenge at all, then you run the risk of coming across as “needy” or “clingy.” By telling her something like “You’re actually a lot cooler than I thought you’d be…” And saying it like it was a compliment, you are rewarding her investment into you, and implying that she is slowly winning you over. This is FODVVLFDOFRQGLWLRQLQJDWLW·VÀQHVW Just remember that she actually has to FEEL like she is slowly winning you over. If she feels like you are too much of a challenge (one that she can’t win), then the interaction will die as quickly as it started. So do not over-challenge her. 7KLVPLJKWWDNHDOLWWOHELWRI SUDFWLFHWRÀQGWKHVZHHWVSRWRI H[DFWO\ KRZ´KDUGWRJHWµ\RXVKRXOGEHEXWRQFH\RXÀQGLW\RX·OOEHDVLUUHVLVWLEOH as James Bond in his prime. And because you do this as a reward for her either qualifying herself to you, or investing into the interaction, she will continue to do those things all the way to the bedroom. You win. She wins. Happy day… 40

SECRET #14

The Awkward Silence Destroyer Sequence.

M

OST GUYS

THINK THEY HAVE THE FEAR OF RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO

say, when this is not actually the case. What they actually fear is the awkward silence that happens right after they run out of things to say.

Venturing into an awkward silence is like venturing into the unknown.

You have no clue how the girl will respond, and you have no clue how long it is JRLQJWRODVW7UXVWPH,·YHEHHQWKHUHDQG,FDQFRQÀGHQWO\WHOO\RXWKDWWKH\ are a normal part of most conversations. The good news is that awkward silences become less awkward the PRUH\RXJHWWRNQRZVRPHRQH7KH\DOPRVWDOZD\VKDSSHQLQWKHÀUVWIHZ conversations you have with a person. That is why in this chapter, I am going to WHDFK\RXWKHDEVROXWHEHVWZD\\RXFDQDYRLGDOODZNZDUGVLOHQFHVZKHQÀUVW meeting a girl, while simultaneously sparking attraction with her. You see, most guys will start a conversation with women by introducing WKHPVHOYHV
107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Think about how many times someone has asked you “How are you doing today?” and you instantly replied “Good.” So what should you do instead? That is where the “Awkward Silence Destroyer Sequence” comes into play… Step 1: Rather than starting the conversation by introducing yourself, wait! Let’s be honest, you don’t really care to know what brings her to that bar, nor do you really care what she does for a living. You just thought she had a nice IDFHDQGDWULPÀJXUH6RUDWKHUWKDQVWDUWLQJWKHFRQYHUVDWLRQZLWKWKHVDPH boring routine that she’s heard 10,000 times, start the conversation by making an interesting observation about the environment, and then asking her opinion RQLW7KLVFRQYHUVDWLRQDORQHZLOOODVWIRUWKHÀUVWIHZPLQXWHVHVSHFLDOO\LI \RX can playfully challenge her in the ways we have already discussed. 8VHWKHÀUVWIHZPLQXWHVRI FRQYHUVDWLRQWREDQWHUDQGUHODWHDVDPDQ and a woman experiencing the same moment at the exact same time. Challenge yourself and your conversational skills to spark a little bit of tension and keep the conversation going without the crutch of the dreaded interview mode. Step 2: When you can feel a lull in the conversation coming, rather WKDQZDLWLQJIRUWKDWÀUVWDZNZDUGVLOHQFHXVHWKDWPRPHQWDV\RXU RSSRUWXQLW\WRÀQDOO\LQWURGXFH\RXUVHOI DQGH[FKDQJHQDPHVRight EHIRUHWKHÀUVWDZNZDUGVLOHQFHFRPHVVD\´%\WKHZD\ZKDW·V\RXUQDPH"«µ as you hold out your hand to shake hers. When you ask this question, your tonality should not be a seeking rapport RUTXHVWLRQ WRQDOLW\³ZKHUH\RXULQÁHFWLRQJRHVXSDWWKHHQGRI WKH sentence. Rather, you should ask for her name as more of a statement, with a QHXWUDORUEUHDNLQJUDSSRUWWRQDOLW\³ZKHUHWKHLQÁHFWLRQLVÁDWRUJRHVGRZQ at the end of the sentence. She will then introduce herself by saying “I’m (insert her name)…” as she reaches out and shakes your hand. Step 3: Challenge Her. Give her piercing eye contact and reply, “Nice to meet you (insert her name). My name is (insert your name). And if you forget my name in 5 minutes, I’m going to be very disappointed in you…” as you give her the most seductive sly smile known to man, and hold the handshake a beat longer than normal. 42

The Awkward Silence Destroyer Sequence. One thing you can do to increase the sexual tension is slow down your speech. Often times, when saying the line I just gave you, I will pause at different points throughout the sentence, while holding strong eye contact. So in reality, if I were to say that line, the pacing of my words might sound more like this: “Nice to meet you, (insert her name). My name is Patrick… And if 5 minutes from now… You don’t remember my name… I’m going to be very… disappointed in you…” Each time you take a second, and pause, you are creating mini open loops. It will cause her to listen more closely as she is trying to anticipate what you are going to say next. Also, keep in mind that your frame should not be that you will be “disappointed” because she forgot your name. On the contrary, your frame is that you will be “disappointed” because you EXPECT her to remember your name, and if she doesn’t then she has failed your test — this is higher value, and positions you as the buyer. (this is a slight, yet important difference) Finally, I recommend adding a brief pause after saying “disappointed in you…” while you look deep into her eyes. This is the moment that she will become very attracted to you. Kudos if you hold eye contact and let her break the silence (hint: she will). Step 4: Continue on the conversation as normal. Then as you can feel another awkward silence coming, challenge her again. At this point, you have HVVHQWLDOO\DYRLGHGWKHÀUVWDZNZDUGVLOHQFHE\XVLQJWKDWPRPHQWWRIRUPDOO\ introduce yourself. Plus, you also turned the exchange of names (something WKDWKDSSHQVHYHU\WLPH\RXÀUVWPHHWVRPHRQH LQWRDSOD\IXOFKDOOHQJH1RZ you can continue the conversation as normal because you have just laid the foundation to challenge her again in a few more minutes. …A few minutes later, maybe like 5-10 minutes, right as you can feel another lull in the conversation, PAUSE the conversation and say, “By the way… Do you remember my name?” Step 5: Reward good behavior, or punish bad behavior. If she’s like most people, she will have forgotten your name by this point. An unfortunate fact about meeting people (especially in social environments) is that most of the 43

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl time, names go in one ear and out the other — people who remember names after hearing it just once are rare. Fortunately, we can use this to our advantage, and spark some playful banter. ,I VKHÀWVLQWRWKHODUJHPDMRULW\RI SHRSOHZKRKDYHDOUHDG\IRUJRWWHQ your name, then she will either guess your name wrong or sheepishly admit that she doesn’t remember — essentially failing your challenge. In which case you can bust her chops by saying, “I can’t even talk to you anymore. That’s it, I’m breaking up with you.” However, if she is one of those rare people who does remember names, then you should reward her for this. When she tells you your name, simply say ´
44

SECRET #15

Which handshake are you?

I

THINK NOW IS A GREAT TIME TO SAY THAT

I LOVE TO TAKE COMMON SOCIAL

situations, and use them to interrupt a woman’s pattern. Interrupting a woman’s pattern is CRUCIAL to seducing her. (You will learn more about

why I do this in the chapter where I talk about the 5 Windows of Opportunity — Secret #69). Before you can ever make a girl attracted to you, you must have her attention, which is why pattern interrupts are great. After all, how can a girl be attracted to you if you are just another face in the crowd? You just learned how to turn introducing yourself into a powerful tool of attraction for you. So in this chapter, I’m going to teach you how to do the same IRUDVLPSOHKDQGVKDNH0RVWOLNHO\ZKHQ\RXPHHWDQ\JLUOIRUWKHÀUVWWLPH you will shake her hand — this is a given. Therefore, this is the perfect moment to stand out from any other handshake a guy will give her. It is pretty easy to make fun of, or tease a girl based on your impression of her handshake. Here are the 3 ways this might go down…

45

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl 1. The Dead Fish: (two variations)

)LUVWRIIWKHGHDGÀVKKDQGVKDNHLVOLWHUDOO\WKHZRUVWKDQGVKDNHNQRZQ to man. If you ever walked into a job interview and gave the interviewer a GHDGÀVKKDQGVKDNH,ZRXOGEHWDORWRI PRQH\WKDW\RXGLGQ·WJHWWKHMRE Hopefully this is common knowledge, but if it’s not, well, now you know. However, if a woman gives you this type of handshake, it means one of several things… One, she never learned how to properly shake hands. Two, she is so uninterested in you that she gave you the worst handshake known to man. Or three, she is from the UK — which brings me to exactly what you should say in these situations… If she shakes your hand like this, simply respond with excitement, a sly smile on your face, and say: “I KNEW it! You’re totally from London, aren’t you?” If she doesn’t understand your jab at her handshake right away, then you can clarify by saying “You shake hands just like the Queen. Tell me, what is she like?” Sometimes, I 46

Which Handshake Are You? will even use this moment to say something like “Oh, you shake hands like the British!” As I lift up her hand to kiss it. This is how you turn her terrible handshake into a more fun and entertaining experience. It also interrupts her pattern, and makes you stand out from any other guy, immediately. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, there are 2 other ways she might shake your hand... 2. The Alpha Female:

Yes, there is a small percentage of women who are going to shake your hand really hard — almost as if she is trying to assert her dominance over you. I am just going out on a limb here, but if I had to make a cold-read, I would say that these women are very independent, ambitious, and want to be taken as a serious person in society — rather than just an attractive female. So they overcompensate for their femininity by trying to be more alpha by GLVSOD\LQJGRPLQDQFHLQWKHIRUPDDQLFHDQGÀUPKDQGVKDNH So often times, when receiving the alpha-female handshake, I will bait her LQWRDFROGUHDGE\VD\LQJ´:RZWKDW·VDUHDOO\ÀUPKDQGVKDNH,PSUHVVLYH«µ At which point she will either laugh, or go “What do you mean?…” Then you say something like “Let me guess... You’re probably the kind of girl who is super independent, ambitious, and wants to be taken as a serious person in society — rather than just an attractive female… It’s ok, you can just be yourself around me, I won’t judge.” Whether you’re right or not, she’ll be mesmerized simply because you just made a very intuitive cold read about her. She will either agree with you, 47

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl and start acting more feminine and comfortable with you. Or she will laugh, and disagree by trying to tell you why you were wrong — this is her qualifying herself to you. And the last type of handshake you’ll get... 3. Run-of-the-mill

Yes, surprisingly, there are going to be some women who have a perfectly normal handshake. Not too hard, not too soft, just right. All you have to do is this... With a slightly surprised look on your face say, “Wow, you actually have a really good handshake. Good job, you and I could totally get along.” You can HYHQPDNHWKLVSOD\IXOE\JLYLQJKHUDKLJKÀYH Now I know what you are thinking… “But Patrick, how is that teasing the girl? That seems like just a normal compliment!” … Why, yes. You are right. Even though we have already learned a multitude of ways to tease, and challenge women, sometimes a genuine compliment can go a long way. It is actually very charming, and charismatic to pay someone a compliment. The key is to make sure you actually mean it, and that you do not expect anything in return. The reason this response for a normal handshake works so well is because the compliment is genuine, is congruent to the moment, and it interrupts her pattern. Great banter, and conversation can easily take off from here…

48

SECRET #16

The Porcupine Response.

I

F

I THREW A LIVING PORCUPINE INTO YOUR LAP, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Every time I’ve ask someone this question I get one of two responses,

they would either quickly brush off the porcupine to the side, or they would

throw it right back at me — which is exactly what I am about to teach you how to do with women. Here is what I mean… Any time a girl shit-tests you, I want you to either brush it off (be completely non-reactive to it) or throw it right back at her in the form of a question. To teach you how to do this, let’s look at some common tests a woman might give you: •

If she says “How old are you anyways?” you can reply “How old do you think I am?” or “How old do you want me to be?”

•

If she says “You’re a player aren’t you?” you can reply “Do you feel like I’m a player?” or “What makes you think I’m a player?”

•

If she says “We’re not having sex tonight.” you can say “What makes \RXWKLQNZHZHUHJRLQJWRKDYHVH[LQWKHÀUVWSODFH"µ

One time, I was at a nightclub in Scottsdale, and I was wearing ripped jeans, and the girl I was talking to said to me “Do you feel like you are from L.A. when you wear those ripped jeans?” She was a girl from a small town in the midwest, and this was a clear jab at my So-Cal style. Immediately, without thought, I responded, “Do you feel like I feel like I’m from L.A. when I wear these ripped jeans?” This was the perfect quick-witted response. The reason why the Porcupine Response is so powerful is because it’s a quick response that works almost every time. You don’t have to put any thought 49

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl into a how to respond to her test because all you do is basically repeat the test back to her in the form of a question. Since most guys never have witty responses to her tests, especially ones as quick as the Porcupine Response creates, then she will likely be caught off guard — giving you the upper hand in WKLVIUDPHEDWWOHDV\RXSDVVKHUWHVWZLWKÁ\LQJFRORUV The key to “being witty” is always having a quick, and clever response. That is exactly what the Porcupine Response is. Enjoy this one…

50

SECRET #17

Qgmj]fglYklYdc]jYj] qgm7

O

NE OF MY FAVORITE WAYS CREATE SEXUAL TENSION IS BY PLAYFULLY

misinterpreting something she did as proof that she is stalking me. A way to make this simple on yourself is by thinking of this as

a Character Frame — very similar to the “Justin Bieber” frame I gave you in Secret #9. Allowing yourself to go into character will allow yourself to riff off some of your own witty banter lines. Here are a few to get your started: •

If she suggests exchanging phone numbers, or adding each other on social media, you can reply “You’re not a stalker are you? I’m not sure if I can handle any more of those…”

•

If she starts going into interview mode asking questions like “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” and “Where do you live?” just reply “Wait, you’re not going to stalk me are you?…”

•

If she points out something that you have in common, for example if you both love the L.A. Lakers basketball team, reply “Wait, are you stalking me? How did you know I was such a big fan of the Lakers?”

•

Or you can use this as a creative way to compliment her… For example, if you like something that she’s wearing, just say, “How did you know I have a weakness for girls who wear fedoras?”

•

Or if you she tells you anything interesting about herself that you happen to like, “How did you know I have a weakness for girls who own a golden retriever? I don’t know how you knew that about me, but clearly you know exactly how to pull on my heartstrings, and you 51

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl need to stop.” •

Or you can use this as a Mental Double Take, for example if she mentions something that she’s insecure about in the moment like a pimple, or a bad hair day, just say “How did you know I have a weakness for girls with bed head?! That’s super weird that you knew WKDWDERXWPH«,W·VÀQHJLUO\RXGRQ·WKDYHWRVWDONPHIURPD distance. Just admit you have feelings for me, I won’t judge.”

The amount of situations you can use this in are only limited by your creativity. As long as you keep the proper character frame in mind, the lines will come naturally. Just remember that the key to this frame is the mindset of “this is evidence that she is clearly stalking you, and she is trying to make you fall in love with her…” Which brings up another very good point about attraction that I want to point out… The reason that implying that you have stalkers works so well all because of a concept called “pre-selection.” Preselection is the idea that women become attracted to certain men simply because other women are attracted to him. This can be explained with evolution. You see, thousands of years ago when humans roamed in tribes, all the women wanted the alpha male of the pack. He was the leader, and he provided value in the form of reproduction (helping women produce alpha babies), and survival (helping women and her future offspring survive). Back then, it was very obvious who the “alpha” was because other men followed his lead, and he was surrounded by women. In other words, women equate “alpha” characteristics with being attractive. The more alpha you seem, the more attracted to you she will be. These days, things have slightly changed because humans do not roam in small tribes anymore. Unfortunately, women can no longer tell who the “alpha” male is just by looking at a group of people — at least not as easily… As a result women have developed certain ways to test how “alpha” a man is — one of these ways is something we have already alluded to called the “shittest.” Tests, as you know, are all based on the fact that alpha males would never 52

“You’re not a stalker are you?” react in a submissive way to a woman who tests him… That said, the second way a woman judges how alpha (attractive) you are is by noticing how other women respond to you. Do other women like to be around you? Are other women attracted to you? Do you know a lot of other women? If she sees evidence that other women like you, and want to be around you, then you are “preselected.” In which case, she does not have to shit-test you as much because she has already concluded your attractiveness. Therefore, “preselection” is worth more to her than your ability to pass her tests. Through the course of this book, we are going to be diving deeper into many of the ways that you can show that you are preselected — even if you are not. The best part is when you learn how to create the illusion that you are preselected, women will start wanting to be around you — thus, you will eventually have REAL preselection. Secret #17 is a great way to start implying your preselection. Which brings me to one of the most subtle, yet powerful ways I know to make women think that you are preselected…

53

SECRET #18

Sex = Pizza

Y

ES, YOU READ THAT TITLE CORRECTLY.

FROM TODAY ON I WANT YOU TO THINK

of sex as something that is so common, it’s like pizza. Sex is everywhere. Everyone does it, everyone wants to do it,

everyone thinks about it everyday. Yet, in today’s PG rated society, any mention RI VH[LVWDERRIRUVRPHXQNQRZQUHDVRQ
Sex = Pizza laughed because of the tension in the air after I had easily brought the topic of sex into a conversation about marriage. In my years of being a dating coach, I have never received as many signs of attraction as I did from all the women ZKRKHDUGWKLVFRQYHUVDWLRQLQWKHRIÀFHWKDWGD\6LGHQRWH/DXJKWHULVRQH of the key ways that people release tension, especially sexual tension.) The key to this attraction secret is being able to bring up sexual topics in conversation like it’s no big deal. The second key is that you have the ability to quickly change the topic from sex to something completely mundane, all because sex is normal for you. Just think about it, if you can talk about sex like it’s as normal as getting pizza delivered to your front door, then you would not stay on that topic for WRRORQJ2QHRI WKHPRVWFRPPRQPLVWDNHV,VHHJX\VPDNHZKHQ,ÀUVWWHDFK them this is they’ll start talking about sex with a girl and won’t want to change the subject. Almost like they are giddy little schoolboys who got their hands on DSOD\ER\PDJD]LQHIRUWKHÀUVWWLPH Like many of the other secrets in this book, this is one that is limited only by your creativity. You can adapt this to just about any situation… For example, you could do this in the form of an A or B debate (Secret #10). Maybe you are hitting it off with a girl at a bar, and after 30 minutes you ask something like “So I’ve been debating with people on this recently, what sex position do you think is better, missionary or doggy?” Then you spark a playful debate about that for a few minutes… i.e. “No way! Doggy is way better because it’s like an ab workout during sex…” 7KHQMXVWOLNH\RXZHUHWKHÀUVWRQHWREULQJLWXSPDNHVXUH\RXDUHWKH ÀUVWRQHWRFKDQJHWKHWRSLF«´%XW\RXNQRZZKDW,OLNHPRUHWKDQVH["« Pizza.” And just like that, now you went from debating about sex positions to talking about one of America’s favorite fattening foods. The reason this triggers preselection (and thus attraction) is because if sex is so normal to you that you can talk about it like it’s pizza, then she will conclude you must get it a lot. And if you get it a lot, then that implies that other women like you enough to sleep with you regularly — which implies that you are preselected. Have fun with this one… 55

SECRET #19

A^gfdq

T

WO OF MY FAVORITE WORDS…

“IF ONLY…”

I love these words because they are the easiest ways to create a barrier

(Secret #5) on demand.

Earlier, I gave you several ways to create barriers, and I also told you

why they work so well. But I decided to make this an entirely separate chapter because the words “if only…” also add in the element of a takeaway. A barrier plus a takeaway almost feels like a dagger to your heart. Sort of like seeing everything you’ve ever wanted right in front of you but you just cant touch it. What you’ll eventually realize is that the barrier does not always have to actually be real. This is because the brain cannot tell the difference between real and imagined. Which is why creating barriers in seduction is really easy. That said, in my opinion, they are much more effective when they involve something that is outside of your control. This is where the words “if only…” come in. “If only” implies a lack of control, which just make her want you more. For instance… •

“I can’t see you tonight… If only I didn’t have this big project due next Friday.”

•

“I like you… If only we were the same age.” (I once said this to a cougar right after sex. She became obsessed with me afterwards.)

•

“I wish we could be together… If only my parents allowed me to be in un-arranged relationships.”

•

“We can’t have sex tonight… If only you had the key to my chastity belt.” 56

“If only...” •

“I would go out with you tonight… If only I didn’t have to get up early in the morning.”

•

“You could come into my apartment… If only I could trust you to keep your hands to yourself.”

And if you feel bad making up barriers to attract women, then I’m about to break some bad news to you… Women do to guys all the time just to see how they will react. Just think about how many times throughout history a woman has used the excuse of being on her period to avoid having sex with a guy. Often times, women will create these barriers in order to prolong the seduction process, and put off sex to a later date. They do this to test his willingness to stick around, and get him chasing her… In a sense, by using barriers, you are using the same seduction tactics that women have been successfully using on men for centuries…

57

SECRET #20

:mlo][Yfl

T

HIS

ATTRACTION SECRET INVOLVES A CONCEPT THAT TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF

story telling skills. However, if you get this right, then you will be able to create a barrier that she cannot resist. This involves 3 steps.

Step 1: Paint a mental picture of an activity you both would want to

do in the future. Tell a story of something you and her are going to do in the IXWXUH*HWVSHFLÀF$QGPDNHLWVRXQGOLNHDIXQDQGFUD]\DGYHQWXUH3DLQWD SLFWXUHRI \RXJX\VÁLUWLQJZLWKHDFKRWKHUDQG\RXWHDVLQJKHUDORQJWKHZD\ Be cocky, be funny, be playful, and make this story sound really fun. She should get excited when hearing you describe this, and want to actually make it happen in the near future. For example, here’s how you might bring this into a conversation… “You’ve never been to DisneyLand?! That’s it, one of these days we’re totally going to Disneyland, and we’re going to ride every ride… Twice! Then when we get hungry we’re gonna have a funnel cake eating competition — which I’ll clearly win because I never lose to girls. And after I beat you in the funnel cake eating competition, before our food coma sets in, we’re going to mess around with Mickey Mouse by tapping his shoulder, and then turning around before he sees us. Afterwards, we’ll leave Disneyland, and go to the beach… But it has to be a public beach because I wouldn’t want you to take advantage of me when nobody else is around.” As you are telling the story, you should be excited about it yourself. Remember, if you are excited about it, then she will be too. Step 2: At the climax of your story, PAUSE, then say these 3 words… 58

“...But we can’t...” As you are getting worked up by your own story, and she is getting more drawn into it. I want you to suddenly pause, as if you just remembered some traumatic reason why your story could never actually happen, and then say the words: “… but we can’t…” Step 3: Slowly look off into the distance. After you say the words “…but we can’t…” just look off into the distance as if there is some barrier keeping you guys from ever doing the story you just told her. This is a powerful takeaway because you made her want it, and then you implied that she could never have it. People always want what they can’t have. With those last 3 words, she will think that there is some major barrier in the way of making it happen… Did you get kicked out of Disneyland in the past? Are you afraid of sharks? Are you secretly married? She’ll wonder why you guys can’t. Just pretend that you don’t want to talk about it, and let her imagination run wild. Telling a story of something you and her are both going to do in the future is called “Future Pacing.” In this example, we are future pacing, and then combining it with a barrier, and a takeaway. Future pacing can be applied in many ways, but for me personally, another way I tend to use it is by implying future rewards for good behavior… So for example, I might throw an off-hand comment into a conversation by saying, “I’ve never been to Europe. If we still get along 6 months from now, we’re totally going…” (One of the most powerful examples of how you can use Future Pacing is revealed in Secret #104) Future pacing is good, barriers are better, takeaways are great. But combine all three, and you have a VERY powerful attraction cocktail…

59

SECRET #21

The Least Needy Thing You Can
S

O THERE

I AM, STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANCE FLOOR OF MY FAVORITE

Scottsdale nightclub, called Dakota… I notice that I’m not in the mood to dance the night away like I

usually do, so I head to the lounge on the outside patio. The lounge is packed with hot girls. One of them catches my eye, and she’s standing under a heat lamp to stay warm in this Arizona winter night (…yes, believe it or not, people who live Arizona consider the low 50’s “cold” and use heat lamps to warm up — get off my back). So I approach her, pretend to start warming myself up under this heat lamp too, and say “Wow, this heat lamp feels a lot better than I thought it would…” She looks at me, chuckles, and say “Oh my God, I know. Who knew Arizona could get so chili?!” Her eyes light up when she looks at me — it is on. From that moment, I challenge her, I tease her, and I get her opening up about herself to me… She clearly wants me. That’s when a guy she knows, who claims to be her “cousin” comes up, cuts me out of the conversation, and tells her to come with him. He keeps gesturing for her to move over to a couch about 10 feet away where he “needs to talk to her about something…” She’s clearly torn. Part of her wants to stay and talk with me, but another part of her doesn’t want to turn down the guy she already knows (a guy who I’m still not sure is even her cousin at all…). 60

The Least Needy Thing You Can Do... So she says to me “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” As she walks off into the crowd. At this moment, I have one of two decisions I can make… I can stand right there and wait for her. Maybe she’ll come back, maybe she won’t. Either way, as far as I’m concerned, standing and waiting for her is a lose-lose situation. If she does make her way back to me eventually, then I’ll be the one who VDFULÀFHGSUHFLRXVPLQXWHVRXWRI 0<QLJKWWRDFFRPPRGDWHWRKHUQHHGV Even if she is still receptive to my charm when she gets back, the frame will have been set that I want her MORE than she wants me — because I waited for her. In which case, I am handing all of my power over to her on a silver platter. So I chose the only other option I had… I started talking to other people LQWKHYHQXH$QG,GLGQ·WMXVWWDONWRDQ\ERG\,VSHFLÀFDOO\ORRNHGIRU27+(5 cute girls nearby to talk to. Here is why this is the best move I could possibly make… ,I ,WDONWRDQRWKHUDWWUDFWLYHJLUOZKRLVDOVRLQWKHYHQXHDQGWKHÀUVWJLUO comes back, now SHE is the one working harder for me. This is because she came back for me, while I talked to other people instead of waiting. Therefore I VWLOOKDYHWKHSRZHULQWKDWLQWHUDFWLRQ$QGZKHQVKHFRPHVEDFNRQO\WRÀQG me with another girl, I have triggered preselection (because she is seeing me interacting with other women). From that moment, I’ll have a couple of options… I can choose to ignore WKHÀUVWJLUODQGNHHSLWJRLQJZLWKWKHQHZJLUO25,FDQGLWFKWKHQHZJLUODQG JREDFNWRWKHÀUVWJLUOFRQWLQXLQJWKHFRQYHUVDWLRQZKHUHZHOHIWRII(LWKHU way, this is a win-win. Moral of the story... Whenever a girl tells you to meet her somewhere, or to “wait for her”... Always use that as your opportunity to talk to other women nearby — thus, maintaining your higher value frame, and triggering preselection. …As for how that night actually played out for me? I approached a really cute brunette girl standing under a different heat lamp. Same opener, same result. This second girl was clearly interested in me, and could banter like a champ. 7KHÀUVWJLUOHQGHGXSFRPLQJEDFNDIWHUDIHZPLQXWHVWRÀQGPH%XW 61

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl at that point, I chose to stick with the new girl because she was way cuter, had sharper wit, and inspired some of really good game out of me. At around 1:30 A.M. I escorted this new girl back to her bedroom where “festivities” ensued…

62

SECRET #22


L

ET ME SET THE SCENE REAL QUICK…


RUQLJKWFOXERU\RXJX\VDUHPHHWLQJIRUDÀUVWGDWHDWDFRIIHHVKRS« The conversation is going well. You and her are connecting on certain

WRSLFVDQGWKHUHLVDOLWWOHELWRI ÁLUWLQJEXW\RXFDQWHOOWKDWWKLVLQWHUDFWLRQ needs something more… You need to spark some tension, and get her more attracted to you, or else this date is destined to end with the awkward onearmed hug, and no second date. So you suddenly pause the conversation… As if you just remembered this really funny story, and you say “Do you know what everybody else here thinks about you and me right now?…” Her eyes light up as she says, “What do they think?” You pause. You size her up, and act like you are deciding if you should actually tell her or not… Then you say “Ahh, Never mind. I probably shouldn’t tell you…” She says, “No! Tell me!” You say, “Are you sure you want to know?” Her, “Yes…” You give in, and playfully say to her “Everybody here thinks that you are way too interested in me right now, and that you need to chill… It’s cool girl, just be yourself around me.” %2206KRXWRXWWRP\EXGG\DQGFROOHDJXH-DVRQ&DSLWDOIRUÀUVW showing this one to me…) Do you see the genius in this simple sentence? 63

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl First off, you created an open loop with the question “Do you know what everybody else here thinks about you and me right now?…” This open loop will create a ton of tension, and she will be completely focussed on you. Secondly, rather than telling her the answer right away, you make her work for it. You got her chasing you by making her beg you to tell her than answer… Television shows are the best at creating open loops by ending each episode with a cliffhanger, and then making you wait an entire week for the next episode, just to close the loop. By doing this, Hollywood is able to win people’s attention for their shows. And that is exactly what you are doing here when you make her work for the answer. Finally, you gave her a playful, yet challenging answer that she was not expecting at all. Whether or not she IS actually “more interested” in you than you are into her, is irrelevant. Just the fact that you are playfully calling her out is enough to spark an emotional response out of her. Remember what we said about “frame battles” earlier in this book… The person who reacts emotionally to the other loses the frame battle. Hopefully by now you can see that sparking “attraction” early on is as easy as choosing the proper frame, and eliciting a slight emotional response out of her, in a playful way. In my experience, the girl will react in one of two ways when you say this… •

She will react in a playful way, trying to debate the fact that you are the one who is more interested in her. Yes, she is disagreeing with you, but it is in a playful manner. She might even be smiling, laughing, and hitting you on the arm during this playful debate — all of which are clear signs of attraction.

•

She will get mad, or offended and respond negatively. The only reasons you might get this response out of her is because she is stuckup, and can’t take a joke. If this is the case, I doubt you would want to spend too much time with her anyways.

She might also respond in the second way because she had no clue that you were interested in her sexually, to begin with. This would only be the case if your interaction with her has been platonic, leading up to this point. In which case, your comment will have completely surprised her. 64

“Do you know...” Always remember the nonverbal checklist from Secret #3. Sexual comments that are incongruent to the context of the interaction will always creep her out. After all, you wouldn’t say this to your boss at work, would you? ,QVKRUWEHVXUHWRVHWWKHWRQHWKDW\RXDQGKHUDUHÁLUWLQJZLWKHDFKRWKHU from the moment you guys meet. She needs to think that you are just the type of guy who is playful, challenging, and somewhat cockyDWWLPHV7KLVÀUVWLPSUHVVLRQ will allow you the space to take risks and playfully tease her later on. With that said, if you are ever in a position where the girl does get offended at something you’ve said, all you have to do is playfully say, “I’m just kidding. Geez girl, loosen up and have some fun…” …Another way you can guarantee she won’t get offended is by asking her early on in the conversation, “You’re not one of those girls who’s easily offended are you?” No girl will want to admit to being “one of those girls” because you’ve made it sound like a negative. Later on when you say something teasing, she won’t take it too seriously. This is because of commitmentconsistency — a concept I’ll explain in Secret #87…

65

SECRET #23

:jaf_@]jAflgQgmjHYjlq

T

HIS IS GOING TO BE YOUR NEW MINDSET FOR EVERY SOCIAL SETTING, PARTY,

grocery store, restaurant, bar, nightclub, or orgy that you enter. And it is simple… Always be bringing people into YOUR party. In other words, you

create your own fun time. People tend to be drawn to the source of fun and positive emotions. Therefore, if you adopt the mentality that you are going to have fun regardless of where you are, then when people are around you, they will see your fun, and want to be a part of it. ,I WKLVLVGLIÀFXOWIRU\RXWRLPDJLQHSLFWXUHDEDURUQLJKWFOXE,QWKDW environment there will be a lot of mini parties going on all over the venue — groups of people who seem to be familiar with each other, all standing in the same area. For example, you may see a group of guys standing in the corner, DQRWKHUJURXSRI JLUOVRQWKHGDQFHÁRRUDQGDVHSDUDWHJURXSRI PHQVWDQGLQJ against a wall trying to look cool while holding their drinks to their chest. The thing that has never made sense to me is the fact that all of these groups rarely, if ever, mingle with each other — especially the women. Women will get dressed up, make themselves look pretty, drench themselves in chemicals to smell good, and then only talk to the people that they came with. Crazy, right? So one night, after realizing this, I went out and decided that I was not going to abide by the same rules. I decided that I was going to have a blast with my friends (a.k.a the people I knew) and bring the people standing near us into our party. If they liked me, awesome. If not, I was going to have fun anyways. 66

Bring Her Into Your Party! The Result? People loved my positive vibes, and started to mingle with me and my group. It was almost as if these people were literally waiting for someone to bring the fun to them. For the rest of the night, because of this mentality, approaching women and strangers was completely natural. Any anxiety I used to have before approaching a girl was completely gone because my good time no longer relied on women approving of me. In short, this mentality basically states that you are going to have a good time no matter what. From there, YOU can choose to approve of anybody else who wants to join. It doesn’t matter if these people are male, or female. It doesn’t even matter what they look like, as long as they have good vibes, you can bring them into your party. A few off-the-dome strategies for the this mindset: •

You can spark an Either-Or debate (Secret #10) with your friends, and then if a girl is standing, or walking near your group, you can stop her and say, “Excuse me, my friends and I were just debating… (insert your either-or question). What do you think?”

•

,I \RXDUHRQDGDQFHÁRRUDQGDJURXSRI JLUOVFRPHVQHDU\RX pretend to accidentally bump into one of the girls and say, “Will you watch out?! Clearly I’m trying to dance here...” then smile and say “You know I’m joking right?” as you grab her hand and start dancing with her.

•

If there is a girl who is near you, you can get her attention and say “Hey, I want to introduce you to one of my friends real quick. Meet (inset your buddy’s name).” As you proceed to introduce her to one of your friends. (You’ll learn in Secret #29 why connecting her to other people will actually make her want you more…)

•

If you are standing with a friend, raise your drink and “cheers” him. Then turn to a girl (or group of girls) next to you and bring them in on the cheers. One of the girls will likely ask “Why are we cheersing?” Then you can bait her in by giving her a partial answer by saying “We’re celebrating!” She will then ask “What are you celebrating? A birthday or something?” And you instantly reply with the playful answer “Another night of celibacy. Cheers!” This is a fun way to get a 67

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl group of women to start mingling with you and your friends. It also happens to be a mental double take (Secret #4), and a funny way to bring up the topic of sex (Secret #18)…

68

SECRET #24

Inception Stories.

F

OR YOU TO SUCCESSFULLY SEDUCE ANY WOMAN, ATTRACTION IS ONLY THE FIRST

step. You must also build trust, rapport, and connection with this girl if you ever want to actually sleep with her… Where most guys go wrong though is they try to build a connection before

they attract women. Unfortunately, that is not how seduction works. By trying WREXLOGDFRQQHFWLRQZLWKDJLUOÀQGLQJFRPPRQDOLWLHVJHWWLQJWRNQRZKHU etc.) before she is attracted to you, you are friend-zoning YOURSELF. Building DFRQQHFWLRQÀUVWLVZKDW´IULHQGVµGR *X\VWHQGWRJHWIULHQG]RQHGRQO\EHFDXVHWKH\GRQ·WNQRZKRZWRÁLUW or make their sexual intentions known early on. By adopting the mindset of DWWUDFWLRQÀUVWFRQQHFWLRQVHFRQGWKHQ\RXZLOOQHYHUJHWIULHQG]RQHGDJDLQ This is because when a guy can properly make his sexual intentions known to a girl, she will either be attracted to back to him, or not. There is no middle ground. And if you do happen to get friend-zoned by a girl, then it is easy to get out of the friend-zone because your “friendship” was built upon an impression that you are a guy who is willing to break rapport, and spark tension. In short, there is no downside to breaking rapport, sparking tension, and creating attraction early on in any interaction with a girl. Now that we have this understanding, a question arises… How do we transition from attracting a girl to connecting with her? The answer, my friend, is by telling a story. Storytelling has been the preferred method of communication by humans for thousands of years. They are the most effective way to pass life lessons, build trust, and get to know about someone. 69

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Most guys go wrong by trying to tell women facts about themselves (i.e. this is where I am from, this is what I do, this is my name, etc.). Obviously facts are good to know, but the best way to connect with a person is by embedding these facts into your stories. Facts are met with resistance and skepticism, stories are blindly accepted and remembered. (This is why memorizing random facts for an school exam is a lot harder to do than remembering the plot to a popular movie. You can see a movie just once and remember most things about it, but it takes lots of monotonous repetition just to memorize random facts.) The point I am trying to make here is that the absolute best way to transition from a place of banter and attraction, to connecting with a girl, is to either tell a story about yourself, or getting her to open up with a story of her own. Because of this, I have 3 go-to stories that I recommend telling to girls ZKHQ\RXDUHÀUVWJHWWLQJWRNQRZWKHP7KHVHDUHQ·WMXVWDQ\VWRULHVWKRXJK these are stories that reveal a little about your character, as well as implant the idea that you are “preselected.” Like I said, you can embed random facts inside of a story, and it will automatically be accepted as true, simply because it was a “random detail” in the story. For example, I could tell you “I am awesome because people look up to me.” But you would likely meet that statement with some resistance. To you it sounds like I am trying to brag about something that I might have made up (you may even think I was a douchebag if I said that). However, I could tell you a story saying “So last Saturday morning, I woke up and realized that I had forgot something!… I forgot that I had about 10 guys coming over to my home to DWWHQGDVHPLQDUWKDW,ZDVÀOPLQJ2QHJX\HYHQÁHZLQIURP+RQJ.RQJWR watch me teach this program, live and in-person. Luckily I had enough time to compose my thoughts, and the seminar turned out to be a complete success.” Yes the story took a little bit longer to tell, but you will remember the story much easier than my random claim of “I’m awesome because people look up to me.” The story had you imagining details about my home. The story made you feel my anxiety for forgetting that I was supposed to teach a seminar. And the story made you conclude, “Wow, Patrick James must be a big deal if he’s holding VHPLQDUVDQGDJX\ÁHZLQIURP&KLQDMXVWWREHWKHUHµ,W·VPXFKEHWWHUWROHW 70

Inception Stories. someone conclude something about you, rather than you outright telling them. Conclusions stick. Bottom Line: Use stories to start connecting with women, as well as getting her to conclude that you are pre-selected— which will raise her level of attraction for you. Here are the 3 go-to stories that you can start to model for yourself… 1. Anything that recently happened to you, while also including the fact that other women were present. Any story will work here, but as an anecdote just mention that other women were present. Kudos if you can make it sound like these women were somewhat attracted to you. Here’s an example… Last weekend I drove down to Las Vegas with a few friends of mine. Let me tell you, although I love Las Vegas, the road trip there sucks! The drive going WR9HJDVLVÀQHEXWWKHGULYHEDFNLVZKDWVXFNVEHFDXVHHYHU\ERG\LVKXQJRYHU and too tired to drive. Plus the girls we are with always insist on playing the worst, girly music. Luckily we had multiple people to drive so I could fall asleep and tune out the girly music… Have you ever driven to Las Vegas?” Or, “Last weekend I drove down to Las Vegas with some friends, and we went to my favorite nightclub XS. It’s an awesome nightclub because they always have big name DJ’s, and there is a giant pool on the outside of it. One of the girls we were with kept following me around the club, even though she knew that all I wanted to do was rage the night away. Have you ever been to a Las Vegas nightclub?” Notice how I didn’t have to mention the women in either one of those stories, but I chose to because it shows that I am the type of guy who tends to do fun things with other women. Also this leaves the your girl wondering “Is he friends with these girls? Does he hook up with these girls? Are these girls attracted to him?” Often times, if you have attractive non-verbal communication, she’ll just assume that you’re probably hooking up with those girls — instant preselection. 2. Complaining about other women pursuing you, and then at the end of your story you add the line “…but I don’t blame her.” These often work best as short 1-2 sentence stories, off-handed anecdotes in small talk 71

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl conversations, or as side-tangents for longer stories you are telling. Here are a couple examples for how you can do this… “I was just at the grocery store, looking for fresh avocados in the produce isle, and there was this brunette girl who kept staring on me. I could literally feel her eyes just glaring at me whenever I wasn’t looking… To be honest I don’t blame her though. I’d check myself out too. But seriously though… I’m not a piece of meat, I have feelings too.” These stories work well for a few reasons… First off, you are embedding the fact that other women chase you into your stories, therefore it’s met with little to no resistance. Second, you are implying preselection, as well as complaining about it. It’s sort of like a celebrity who humblebrags about being tired of going out in public because people keep wanting to take pictures with him. And lastly, you have a cocky yet playful tone to your comment. Which brings me to a good point about self-amusing… A lot of times, when I tell stories like this, or say any playfully challenging line, I am doing it because I genuinelyÀQGP\FRPPHQWVIXQQ\ By amusing myself in conversation, I keep the conversation interesting for me, and as a result the girl will be interested in the conversation too. Remember, whatever you feel, she also feels. 3. Self-deprecating stories to “make yourself more attainable.” :KHQ\RXFDQPDNHIXQRI \RXUVHOIRUSOD\IXOO\SRLQWRXW\RXUÁDZVLWVKRZV FRQÀGHQFH$QXQFRQÀGHQWSHUVRQZRXOGQRWEHFRPIRUWDEOHDGPLWWLQJWKHLU ÁDZVHVSHFLDOO\ZKHQLWFRPHVWRODXJKLQJDWWKHPVHOYHV There is one caveat though, too much self-deprecation can actually work against you, and convey low self-esteem. But in just the right amount, it works really well, which is why I use this type of story a lot… For me, I always just like to tell a story about something really embarrassing that happened to me. For example… “When I was younger, I was a chubby kid who played on the 8th grade basketball team when I was only in the 5th grade because I was taller than most kids my age. I remember one day while in practice, we were running sprints and a really hot girl who was in 6th grade walked into the gym… As a chubby 5th grader, I decided that I was going to try to impress her by running faster than 72

Inception Stories. anybody else on the team… So there I was, running as fast as I possibly could, DQGDERXWIHHWIURPWKHÀQLVKOLQH,75,33('RYHUP\RZQIHHW,WKHQVOLG OLNHDSHQJXLQKHDGÀUVWRQP\FKXEE\EHOO\IURPWKHIUHHWKURZOLQHDOOWKH way into the wall… When I looked up, everybody was laughing hysterically — including the girl… It’s ok though. I guess its moments like that, that just make me more attainable.” Or they can be shorter, off-hand comments like “I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had the chance to make it to the gym and workout for like two weeks! My 6-pack has disappeared, and now it’s just a slender 4-pack. It’s ok though, it just makes me more attainable.” 7KHEDODQFHRI VHOIGHSUHFDWLRQZLWKFRQÀGHQFHFRPHVLQWKHODVWOLQH of the story “it makes me more attainable.” If you can say this with the right tonality and seductive eye contact (Secret #3), then this type of story can become a powerful tool in your attraction arsenal. No matter what story you tell her, always remember to relate it back to her by asking “Have you ever had anything like that happen to you?” This will get her opening up about herself…

73

SECRET #25

Power Language.

T

O PARAPHRASE A QUOTE

I ONCE HEARD FROM JOHN CARLTON (A WORLD CLASS

copywriter)… People are bored. Really bored. They wake up bored, they eat the

same boring breakfast every morning, they go to their same boring job, they watch the same boring shows, and they go to sleep bored. Then they wake up the next day and repeat the entire process all over again… This boredom is why people watch horror movies, go to bars and clubs with loud music, or go on vacation. They do anything to temporarily escape from the regular pattern of their mostly boring lives. People are starving for someone to come along and snap them out of their boredom — and that’s where Secret #25, Power Language, comes in. By speaking with power language, you immediately interrupt peoples’ pattern and stand out from the crowd. Imagine the life of an attractive girl… She gets hit on anytime she goes out in social environments. She can get sex basically whenever she wants. And, as a result, most of the guys who talk to her all blend together… Most of these guys never take any risks, and try their best to not offend her. They over-compliment her, and do “nice” things for her. Which is exactly why they never actually get with these women. One thing you must understand about attracting women is that before you can attract her, you must have her attention. Without her attention, then you will blend in with every other guy who has ever hit on her. Without her attention, you are not memorable. So how do you start speaking with “Power Language”? 74

Power Language. You simply allow yourself to use words that the general public considers “taboo.” Also known as curse words, like “Fuck,” “Shit,” and “Damn.” Often times, when conversing with a girl, simply using the word “fuck” in WKHÀUVWIHZPLQXWHVDIWHU\RXPHHWKHULVHQRXJKWRVWDQGRXW7KLVODQJXDJH interrupts her pattern, especially if you use the word in a positive context. Seriously, try it. You’ll notice the difference in her eyes almost instantly. For example, if you meet her in a nightclub, simply saying something like “I fucking love this club.” or “This DJ is fucking awesome.” is enough to interrupt her pattern. She will likely drop the facade that she normally puts up to random guys, all because you’re not afraid to break rapport, curse, and freely use “taboo” words. This implies that you are not needy for her approval, and don’t really care if she gets offended or not — a “bad boy” trait. And don’t just take my word for it. Famous public speakers often use curse words to CUT through, and maintain the attention of their audience. Tony Robbins for instance uses power language to interrupt the patterns of his audience on a regular basis. Gary Vaynerchuk is another guy who has built his speaking career by going into corporate environments and college classrooms, and dropping the F-bomb 17 times in ten minutes. Simply put, to create attraction in women you must be able to grab her attention and engage her emotions at the same time. Using Power Language is one of the easiest, and time-tested methods of doing exactly that…

75

SECRET #26

The BEST First Text.

H

AVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT TO TEXT A GIRL?

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED

how soon you should text a girl after getting her number? Have you ever wondered how to re-ignite the chemistry that you with her in-person, via

text?

,QWKLV$WWUDFWLRQ6HFUHW,·PJRLQJWRUHYHDOWR\RXWKHEHVWÀUVWWH[WWR send any girl, while also making your interaction with her memorable. Just a ZDUQLQJWKLVÀUVWWH[WLVGLIIHUHQWIRUHYHU\JX\DQGHYHU\VLWXDWLRQDQGLVQRW what you think it is… That said, once you see this text, you will understand its effectiveness. And what better way to show you how this works than by painting the picture of you actually using it? Imagine the following scenario… You meet a girl in a bar, and you guys are hitting it off. You’ve cold-read her, making her think that you know more about her than she even know about herself. You’ve pushed, you’ve pulled, and now she is qualifying herself to you. But there’s just one thing standing in the way of you two riding off into the night… Her friends. 6KHFDPHWRWKHEDUZLWKRQHIULHQGWKDWQLJKWDQGLI \RXGRQ·WÀJXUHRXW how to pawn this friend off to another guy, then your chances with your girl can disappear. You realize that in this situation you should exchange phone numbers with her, even though you don’t consider yourself to be that good of a texter… That is when you remember Secret #26 that Patrick explained in his book. 7KHWH[WWKDWJHWV+(5WRWH[W\RXÀUVWDQGHOLPLQDWHVWKHIHDUWKDWVKHZLOO forget about all the chemistry you and her had. So you decide to put it into action… You lean into her and you say, “Hey, I promise that I’m not trying 76

The BEST First Text. to get rid of you, but just in case we get separated here’s my phone. Put your phone number into it…” She laughs, and says “I hope you wouldn’t try to get rid of me…” As she reaches for your phone. But before she can take it, you pull it back real quick, pause, and say “Wait, what’s my name again?” (Secret #14) She remembers your name, and you hand your phone to her with a smile, saying “I knew I liked you for a reason.” Then she takes you phone, starts typing her phone number into it, and ULJKWDVVKHÀQLVKHVSXQFKLQJLQKHUQXPEHU\RXVD\WKHIROORZLQJOLQHZRUG for-word: “After you save your number, send yourself the cheesiest pickup line you’ve ever heard. Let’s see what you’ve got…” (THIS is Secret #26. Getting KHUWRVHQGWKHÀUVWWH[WWRKHUVHOIZKLOHFKDOOHQJLQJKHUWRPDNHLWDJRRG\HW funny pickup line.) She then proceeds to text herself a cheesy pickup line from your phone. Here’s why this is so genius… First, you didn’t have to worry about what to text her later on — she has already done that for you. Second, you challenged her to send herself the cheesiest pickup line she knows. It’s a fun challenge, and no guy has ever done that her her when exchanging phone numbers. Therefore you interrupt her pattern, and she is more likely to remember having fun with you. Lastly, no matter what she sends herself, you bust her balls for it… “Really, that’s the cheesiest pickup line you know?!” From there you can go into an entire conversation about terrible pickup lines. The next day, when she’s scrolling through her phone, she will see that some random number texted her a cheesy pick up line. And as soon as she realizes that it was the line she sent herself from your phone, all of the PHPRULHVIURP\RXUKRSHIXOO\ JUHDWLQWHUDFWLRQZLWKKHUZLOOFRPHÁRRGLQJ back. This takes the pressure off of you in having to come up with something creative to break the ice over text. She will already associate all the positive emotions she felt around you with your phone number, and the best part… She did all the work… 77

SECRET #27

The Power of the Friend-Zone.

M

OST GUYS SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIVES TRYING TO AVOID THE FRIEND-ZONE…

Ironically, I am about to urge you to start embracing the friend-zone. Just in case you are wondering why I would do such a thing, let’s look at

this logically… Guys who create tension and attraction rarely, if ever, get placed in the friend-zone. Additionally, guys who tend to date a lot of beautiful women also tend to have a lot of friends that are girls. What is the difference between these guys, and the guys who get friend-zoned against their will?… The guys who actually succeed with women are constantly friend-zoning women themselves! Yes, they put beautiful women into their friend-zone. But this is different than what you would think of when you hear the words “friend-zone” because most guys who get friend-zoned by women are in SCARCITY. They don’t have many options with women, and probably only like one girl — the girl who friend-zoned him — thus, he becomes needy. When the girl realizes how needy he is, she says the dreaded words “I like you, but only as a friend…” or worse “You’re like a brother to me…” Have you ever heard those words from a girl? ,I VRWKHQ\RXNQRZÀUVWKDQGKRZPXFKWKRVHZRUGVSLHUFHOLNHGDJJHUV Chances are, that any time you realized a girl had placed you in the friend-zone, you wanted her even more than you originally did. Once again, this is because people always want what they can’t have. The person who friend-zones the other is in the position of power. Now that you realize that you should start DGGLQJJLUOVWR\RXUIULHQG]RQHWKHUHDUHPDLQEHQHÀWVWREHLQJWKHJX\ZKR does this… One, whichever girls you place in your friend-zone will want you 78

The Power of the Friend-Zone. more once they realize that you only want to be friends with them… (Notice how this quick interrupts her pattern, especially if she is the type of girl who gets hit on a lot.) Two, you are creating a ton of preselection for yourself. Other women will see that you have a lot of female friends, and assume that you are an attractive guy because of it. You can create even more preselection if you friend-zone a girl AFTER she is clearly attracted to you. This is because you are now the guy who is surrounded by women who actually want to sleep with him — a great place for you to be. And three, other guys will want to be your friend… Men, as you may know, are motivated by status, power, and women. If you are constantly surrounded by women (even if you are not hooking up with them), then you automatically have something that every other guy wants. You can leverage this preselection to gain access to a lot of things… Skipping the line at a big nightclub, access to VIP tables at clubs, invites to exclusive parties, this list goes on... As a bonus, most hot girls have a lot of other friends who also happens to be hot girls. So rather than thinking about this as becoming friends with just one girl, think about it as intentionally not dating her so you can gain access to her network of hot friends — from there you can choose the ones you want. Think of this as closing one door to open ten more. Now because guys do not normally friend-zone hot girls, here are a few of ways that I recommend doing this while maintaining your high-value frame… 1. Early on in your interactions with her, before either one of you has decided how you feel about each other, ask her for dating advice about other women you are seeing… This works well because every girl (for whatever reason) loves to think that they are dating experts. Additionally, women love to play the role of matchmaker. So by asking her for advice on other women, not only are you subtly letting her know that you are preselected, but you are also enlisting her help with other girls… This cements the frame that you only see her as a friend, and not someone who you are interested in hooking up with, at the moment. 2. Off handed anecdotes that imply you see her as either a “friend” or a “little sister”… These are the male equivalent of women who say things 79

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl like, “you’re like brother to me” or “I don’t see you like that.” While talking to her, simply imply that you see her as a little sister, or as a friend — people you would never consider hooking up with. You can do this as a takeaway: “That’s it, we can’t be friends anymore…” You can do this as a compliment: “I’m really grateful to have a friend like you.” Or as playful tease: “You’re like a dorky little sister to me.” 3. Asking her to “hang out” with you as your friend, without ever getting sexual. Friends hang out right? Of course. So all you have to do is hang out with her on a regular basis, but never attempt to get sexual with her.
SECRET #28

Trade in Your Wingman.

A

T ONE POINT IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF MY OWN “GAME”

I DID NOT HAVE A

lot of wingmen. In fact, I believe this is what allowed me to get really good with women so fast. Rather than seeking other men to go out and

meet women with, I was leveraging Secret #27 to meet other women, almost from day one. From the beginning, I was friends with several women who were always down to hang out. We would travel to Las Vegas to hit up the nightclubs and pool parties together. We would go to cool restaurants together. Heck, I would even do favors like watch their dogs when they were traveling — you know, regular “friend” stuff. That said, over the years I have tried everything from having one wingman, multiple wingmen, and even going out by myself from time-to-time. But with all of that experience, I got laid more consistently when I was going out with wingWOMEN. I truly believe that if you make a habit of “hitting the club with your boys” then you are working way harder for women than you should be. You now know from Secret #27 that having female friends actually attracts other women, with almost no effort. Well now you are about to learn that it also makes meeting new women much easier. Imagine this… You approach a cute girl at the bar. You’ve been talking to her for a few minutes, and she’s sort of into it, but still doesn’t know if she can trust you because you’re just a random guy who approached her. That is when you pause the conversation and say, “Oh my God, don’t look now, but my little sister over there is totally embarrassing me. Literally I can’t take her 81

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl anywhere.” As you point to one of your female friends who is chatting with another guy across the bar. (In this example, you are jokingly calling your female friend your “little sister.” When I used to do this, none of my female friends looked anything like me, which just added to the playfulness of the conversation I was having. Sometimes the girl I wanted would realize right away that my “little sister” didn’t look like me, and other times this girl would actually believe that we were siblings. In which case, I would call over my “little sister” and tease her right in front of my girl, for always embarrassing me when I take her out in public.) By pointing out one of your female friends, you are no longer “just a random guy” to your girl. You are a guy who has female friends and a “little sister” who you playfully tease. Additionally, wingwomen are great at distracting the friends of any girl that you approach. If you have ever tried approaching women in social HQYLURQPHQWVWKHQ\RXZLOONQRZÀUVWKDQGKRZPXFKRI DEX]]NLOODJLUOV· friends can be (they will often try to pull your girl away, even if you and her are hitting it off). Guys tend to think a wingman’s job is help you hook up with women by doing the “game” for you, and this could not be further from the truth. The ONLY purpose of a wingman is to distract your girls’ friends while you two are talking — that’s it. On the other hand, women tend to have a natural rapport with each other, especially in social environments. Therefore, wingwomen will naturally be more effective than wingmen. Having a mediocre wingwoman on your side will always trump a great wingman. Do yourself and your sex life a favor… Trade in your wingman for a wingwoman ASAP…

82

SECRET #29

Become the Connector.

W

HEN

I FIRST MOVED TO ARIZONA, I WASTED NO TIME IN TRYING TO

immerse myself within the social scene here... I would go out to the bars and clubs every weekend (and also

throughout the week). I quickly realized that there is something fun going on almost every night of the week. You just have to know where to go. Which brings me to a random Wednesday night I had in old town Scottsdale… I was out with a group of my friends, and one of the girls in our group happened to know a promotor who wanted to hook us up with a free bottle service at the club he worked for. When we got to the table, I noticed that WKLVSURPRWRUZDVVRPHZKDWRI DVRFLDOEXWWHUÁ\VLQFHHYHU\ERG\VHHPHGWR know him. Because he seemed to have social value, I decided that it might be worth my time to spark a conversation with him, and potentially add him to my network. The conversation was bland at best… He wasn’t giving me much, and I’m pretty sure would have rather been talking to a girl. That’s when he did something that blew my mind. Rather than FRPSOHWHO\GLVPLVVLQJPHKHLQWHUUXSWHGWKHÁRZRI WKHFRQYHUVDWLRQE\VD\LQJ “Hey, I want to introduce you to someone…” Then he reached out and tapped the shoulder of a cute brunette standing a few feet away from us, and said “Kate, meet Patrick. Patrick meet Kate.” Right after introducing us, he walked off… In retrospect, he probably just introduced me to that girl because he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. But rather than walking away like most people would have, he exited the conversation in the highest value way possible. Think about it, if Person A (the promotor) introduces Person B (me) and Person C (the girl) to each other, then the only thing that Person B and C have 83

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl in common is Person A. What do you think me and the girl talked about for WKHÀUVWVHFRQGVRI RXUFRQYHUVDWLRQ"7KDW·VULJKW:HWDONHGDERXWKRZZH knew the Promotor. Which brings me to the lesson here… Every time you bring two people together, you are adding value to other people by introducing them, as well as creating the illusion that you know a lot of people (preselection). So from today on, become the “connector” wherever you go. Always be thinking to yourself, “Who can I connect this person with?” And each time you do, you are basically planting a seed in your social garden. It won’t take long before everybody nearby will want to meet you, either. By being the guy who connects people together, you (like the promotor) will become the guy who other people will want to meet. In my story, the only reason I was interested in meeting the promotor was because he seemed to have social value at this nightclub — who knows if he actually did have value or not. The point is, if I thought he looked valuable, it would be safe to assume that women likely had the same impression of him. Here’s a pro-tip… If you and a girl are hitting if off, introduce her to one of your guy friends as you walk off to talk to someone else. This will only make her more attracted to you because you know other people, and weren’t going out of your way to keep a conversation going with her. I guarantee she will seek you out and try to talk to you later in the night, just to continue where you left off…

84

SECRET #30

First Date Attraction HACK.

F

IRST DATES CAN BE NERVE-WRACKING.

YOU’VE GOT TO WORRY ABOUT MAKING A

good impression, and exploring the mutual sexual attraction, if there is any. Trust me, we’ve all been there. In this chapter, I am going to reveal the best

way to make you seem like a complete badass on a date, without you having to do much of anything. All you have to do is take her to a place that is going to give you the VIP treatment during the date. If that sounds like it will take a lot of effort, or money, it doesn’t. I promise. Here are the simple steps to making this happen: Step 1: Set up a date with any girl, and plan on taking her to a bar or lounge for a quick bite to eat, or drinks. I recommend picking a place that has a lounge vibe, some activities (or games) you can do, and possibly serves some food to snack on if you need it. That said, avoid full-on dinner dates. Most girls are self-conscious about HDWLQJLQIURQWRI DJX\RQDÀUVWRUVHFRQGGDWHDQGWKHODVWWKLQJ\RXZDQWLVWR be forced to sit there for 45-60 minutes while you wait on a server to serve you. Step 2: Go to the venue about 1-2 hours ahead of the time, and speak to the bartender or staff working. Introduce yourself, get the bartenders’ name, and say the following, “So here’s the deal. At around 7 tonight, I’ll be coming in with a girl on a date. She’s cool, but I’m not quite sold on her yet. That said, I’d like to pay you NOW for the cost of our drinks (or food). That way when we come in and order, you can make sure that our drinks come ‘on the house’… I’ll leave you a nice-sized tip if you can do that for me.” As someone who used to work in the service industry, I know for a fact that most servers, or bartenders, would likely be down to help. This is because 85

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl they will literally do anything, within reason, to increase their tips. And on top of the fact that they want a good tip, the service industry can tend to become monotonous, so helping you out with your date will be fun for them. Here’s what will end up happening… When you show up with the girl later on, everybody who works there will be excited to see you. Servers talk, and it’s likely that the moment you left, the staff started talking about you and your plan. This will create a lot of buzz, and the second you walk in the door with your girl, everybody’s attention will shift to you. 1RWWRPHQWLRQ\RXDQGWKHEDUWHQGHUZLOOQRZEHRQDÀUVWQDPHEDVLV With the bartender knowing your name, your girl will just assume they are one of your friends. But when your drinks come “on the house” at the end of the night, she will start to wonder “Who the heck is this guy?!” All because you were so preselected by the staff at this venue. This level of preselection will quickly make your girl attracted to you, even if you are an otherwise boring conversationalist. If your girl asks you about why you get the VIP treatment, just play it off by saying “I come here a lot,” or my personal favorite “I don’t know, I think the main bartender has a huge crush on me… I don’t blame her though.” There is one downside to this attraction secret though — it is temporary.
SECRET #31

KlghL]plaf_

H

OW OFTEN DO YOU WONDER WHAT TO TEXT A GIRL?

These days texting has become essential to dating. Yet most guys still struggle with what to text women. They either send boring texts like

´+H\ZKDW·VXS"µRUWKH\WU\ZD\WRRKDUGWRVRXQGZLWW\,I \RXÀWLQWRDQ\RI  those categories, then stop right now. What you send a girl does not matter as much as you may think it does. The biggest thing that determines if a girl will respond to you is her initial impression of you when she gave you her phone number. If you are just the “random guy” who awkwardly approached her and asked for her number, then she likely won’t respond no matter how amazing your text is. On the other hand, if you and her had amazing chemistry when you met, then she’ll probably be excited to get a text from you, and be more likely to respond. The other thing that might stop her from responding is the fact that her phone is already getting blown up by a bunch of other dudes. Here’s what I mean… Not too long ago I was hanging out with a friend of mine named Rebecca. Now Rebecca knows that I’m a dating coach, and tends to take advantage of my advice when she can. So on this particular occasion, she wanted my opinion on a few texts that a guy had sent her. So she handed her phone to me, I glanced down at the screen, and something immediately got my attention… The number “22” in the upper left hand corner of her iPhone screen (implying that she had 22 unread text messages). I immediately blurted out, “Yo Rebecca, how do you have 22 unread texts?!” Then she nonchalantly replied, “Oh… Those are just other guys who are texting me.” 87

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl That is right, my friend. She had TWENTY-TWO other guys who were already texting her at the same exact time. Now don’t get me wrong, Rebecca is cute, but she isn’t a Playboy model by any means. She’s one of those girls who has a girl-next-door charm to her. And if Rebecca, the standard girl-next-door type, has 22 guys blowing up her phone at any given moment, how easy do you think it would be for her to ignore one of your texts?… Answer: You hardly stand a chance if you send the same, boring nonsense that most guys text women these days. So what is the solution? Three words… Do the opposite. I don’t mean “send” the opposite types of texts. What I mean is that you VKRXOGQ·WHYHQWH[WKHULQWKHÀUVWSODFH,I ,NQRZWKDWWH[WLQJKHULPPHGLDWHO\ makes me like twenty-two other guys, then I’m going to do anything other than send her a text message. At the time of writing this book, social media has because the absolute best alternative to texting — in particular Snapchat and Instagram. Why is this? Girls tend to mentally categorize men in their brains. They do this based on her impression of you (i.e. nerdy guy, bad boy, athletic guy). And just like they categorize they type of guy you are, they also categorize the types of communication you always use with her (i.e. the guy who she texts, the guy who always calls, the guy who she FaceTime’s, the guy who she messages on social media). What I’ve discovered is that Text messaging is a red ocean, full of competition, and is a completely different ball game than direct messaging on an app like Snapchat or Instagram — simply because guys rarely message her on social media. If you were to TEXT a girl “Hey, what’s up?” then she would immediately categorize you as one of the many guys who texts her boring messages. Ignoring a boring text message is way easier for her than thinking of a way to respond. But if you were to direct message her “Hey, what’s up?” on an app like SnapChat, this is a completely different story… First off, she won’t categorize you as one of the many guys TEXTING her because social media is a completely separate folder in her mind. Rather than being one of the many guys texting her, you are one of the only guys direct messaging her on Snapchat. 88

Stop Texting! 6HFRQGO\\RXUPHVVDJHRQVRFLDOPHGLDDOVRFRPHVZLWK\RXUSURÀOH attached to it. Rather than being just a random phone number, you are the guy who goes hiking every Saturday, loves sushi, and owns a golden retriever. See what I mean? You are a character who’s life she keeps up with on a regular basis DOUHDG\³GXHWR\RXUSURÀOHVWRULHVDQGSRVWV Lastly, because messaging on social media is so new to today’s dating world, there’s far less competition there — making her more likely to respond. Especially if your message to her is in response to something she posted that day. Admit it, you probably feel good when someone likes one of your posts on social media. Girls are the same way, which is why she’ll almost always UHVSRQGLI \RXUÀUVWPHVVDJHLVLQUHVSRQVHWRKHUSRVW+HUHLVZKDWDW\SLFDO conversation might look like when asking a girl out over Snapchat… **She uploads a picture of her eating sushi** ME: How did you know I love sushi? HER: OMG! What’s your favorite sushi roll? ME: Sounds like a good convo to have over a drink or seven HER: Tonight? ME: Yes. HER: mmm ok what did you have in mind? ME: Meet me at (insert place) at 9… But only if you promise to bring your A game HER: Lol, ok! )LUVWRIIQRWLFHWKDW\RXUÀUVWPHVVDJHZDVUHOHYDQWWRVRPHWKLQJVKHGLG that day. Emotionally relevant messages will always garner a better response than “Hey, what’s up?” Secondly, notice how she was very open and receptive to conversation. You are not messaging her a paragraph. Your messages are only 5-7 words long. Shorter messages get your point across, and are way easier to respond to. Lastly, she feels more obligated to respond on social media because you can see if she has “read” your message yet. These days, 90% of the time I ask a girl to hang out, it happens over 6QDSFKDWRU,QVWDJUDP(VSHFLDOO\LI WKLVLVDÀUVWRUVHFRQGGDWH
107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl The best part is that your messages don’t even have to be witty or clever to stand out — a direct result of simply having less dudes to compete with. Notice how the conversation above was very basic. Nothing too clever or out of the ordinary. The messages were emotionally relevant to her post, and had a somewhat playful undertone. I didn’t carry the conversation on for very long, and asked her to hang out in a very direct way. Also notice that this could have very well been a conversation via text, but because I was simply responding to one of her pictures, the conversation was more engaging, and much easier for her to respond to. One last thing you should note is that if a girl is a terrible texter, often times she is really good at responding via social media — and vice-versa…

90

SECRET #32

:]L@9L?mq

F

ROM NOW ON,

I WANT YOU TO JUST BE “THAT” GUY… YOU KNOW, THE GUY

who always seems to naturally touch people in conversation. These don’t have to be sexual touches, nor do you only have to touch women. Be

the guy who is comfortable touching everybody as a form of expression and communication — friendly touches that act to boost rapport. Because let’s face it, most of our communication is nonverbal anyways, and touching each other is just an extension of how people can communicate with each other. So just be that guy who is comfortable breaking the touch barrier with everybody, both men and women. When you have the ability to convey that you have no problem touching people, then it will be completely natural to break the touch barrier with a girl. Whereas on the other hand, if you never touch people, then the moment you ÀQDOO\WRXFKDZRPDQZLOOVHHPYHU\DZNZDUGDQGIRUFHG7KHSUREOHPPRVW guys have is that they wait way too long to break the touch barrier, and when WKH\ÀQDOO\GRLW·VDZNZDUGEHFDXVHWKH\GRQ·WWRXFKSHRSOHYHU\RIWHQ)RUWKH purposes of this Attraction Secret, I’m going to give you a few ways that you can start breaking the touch barrier with EVERYONE… No matter who you use these on, they will serve only one purpose — creating deeper trust and rapport with people. Think about it, who in your life do you let touch you, even if it’s just on the arm or shoulder? Obviously the answer is people who you know and trust. This is one reason why people always VKDNHKDQGVZKHQPHHWLQJIRUWKHÀUVWWLPH By becoming “that” guy, you will have more freedom to be physical with the women right off the bat. Because you touch everybody (whether there 91

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl is sexual intent or not) she’ll be ok with you touching her because she’ll just assume, “Oh, he must just be the type of guy who touches people a lot…” (As I’m typing this, I realize that this may sound crazy to you guys who UDUHO\WRXFKSHRSOHLQZKLFKFDVH\RXZLOOEHQHÀWIURPWKLVWKHPRVW  Here are my favorite ways to break the touch barrier with anybody, especially women… 1. Tease & Shoulder Nudge. Any time you tease someone, or direct a joke at them, gently nudge them on their arm or shoulder with your hand or your shoulder. This is a very playful way to tease a person while also communicating that it is just a joke. Even if your vocal tonality doesn’t convey very well that you were joking, then the shoulder nudge accomplishes this playful vibe. By doing the Tease & Shoulder Nudge you can simultaneously break the touch barrier, break rapport verbally, and build rapport physically. 2. Hand on Shoulder. $Q\WLPH\RXGLUHFWDVWDWHPHQWWRZDUGVDVSHFLÀF person, especially in a group of people, just put your hand(s) on their shoulder as you get their attention to speak to them. 3. The Long handshake (use with women only). When you shake her hand, hold it in the handshake position for longer than normal…Unless you live in a bubble, you’ve probably shaken hands with hundreds, if not thousands of people in your lifetime. You may have noticed that just about every handshake between anybody you meet is almost always the same — web to web, shake-shake, done. +RZHYHUZKHQ\RXPHHWDJLUO\RXFDQVHWWKHÁLUW\YLEHULJKWRII WKHEDWE\ simply holding the handshake and making strong eye contact. This will interrupt her pattern of the “normal handshake” and you’ll instantly stand out. If you do this properly, she will follow your lead, and will continue to hold your hand until you let go of hers. From here you can either let go of her hand and continue the conversation as normal, or you can continue the conversation while holding her hand in the handshake position. Your choice. Obviously you’re not going to hold it there for several minutes, but simply holding her hand for 5-10 seconds longer than normal will build a palpable amount of sexual tension. (“Palpable”… what a great word.) 92

Be THAT Guy... 1RWHWKDWWKHÀUVWDUHZD\VWKDWDUHQRQVH[XDODQG\RXFDQGRWKHP with just about anybody — guy or girl. The last one is more designed for when \RXPHHWZRPHQIRUWKHÀUVWWLPH«

93

SECRET #33

Qgmj Fgl[`:ggc&

H

AVE YOU EVER HEARD SOMEONE SAY “THAT PERSON JUST WENT UP A NOTCH IN

my book...”? It’s a phrase that people tend to use anytime they’ve gained respect for, or learned something interesting about someone. It also

happens to be a great line to tease girls because it implies that she is winning you over. That said, you can turn this phrase into a very powerful push-pull line… For example, if she does anything to impress you, or gain your respect, just playfully say to her “Wow that’s awesome. You totally just went up a notch in my book… That puts you at notch one.” ,W·VYDOLGDWLQJKHUEXWQRWIXOO\7KLVZRUNVEHVWZLWKWKHVXSHUFRQÀGHQW

girls who most guys put on pedestals. This line implies that she started from ground zero in your eyes. By teasing her about the fact that she started at zero, you are implying that her good looks don’t phase you, and that she has to do more than “be hot” to win you over (more on this in Secret #38) You can also use this anytime a girl does something you don’t like. For example, if she messes up or embarrasses herself in anyway, you can playfully tease her by saying “You just went down a notch in my book. That puts you at notch… well, let’s just say it’s not looking good.” Additionally, teasing women in a fun way is called “self-amusement.” In this book, you have probably noticed how I constantly remind you to say these lines in a “playful” manner. What I am really telling you to do is say these as a way to amuse yourself, while also just spreading good emotions. Self-amusement LVWKHNH\WRÁLUWLQJZLWKZRPHQ 94

Your “Notch” Book. Women will feel whatever emotions you feel in the moment. Girls are very intuitive like that, and tend to follow the guys lead. So if you are nervous, or genuinely aren’t entertained by any of these banter lines, then don’t even bother WRXVHWKHP)LQGVRPHWKLQJWKDW\RXDFWXDOO\ÀQGIXQQ\DQGXVHWKRVHOLQHV instead. As long as your intention is not to offend her, then it will work out for you. Just imagine a time where someone told you a joke that wasn’t funny, but you still laughed anyways because THEY were genuinely amused by their own joke. You want to create the same sort of experience when you self-amuse. If \RXÀQGVRPHWKLQJIXQQ\WKHQVKHZLOODOVRÀQGLWIXQQ\³HYHQLI WKHMRNH is objectively not funny. Another way I like to think about self-amusing is that these lines are like inside jokes with yourself — they don’t have to make sense, they just have to make YOU laugh. This is why I am giving you 107 different ways to create tension (and thus attraction). Not all of them are going to work equally for everybody. So choose the ones that work best for you. Some examples will be more congruent to your personality than others…

95

Section II: Lust

SECRET #34

L`]EY_a[9ZadalqK`];Yfl Resist.

Q

UICK STORY…

NOT TOO LONG AGO, I WAS IN LAS VEGAS FOR A LONG AND

epic weekend. On that Saturday night I went to Hakkasan nightclub with a few buddies of mine, where I only talked to 2 girls, and left the

club with one of them just 10 minutes after arriving to the club. If you are curious how I managed to do this, here is what went down that night, step-bystep: When my two friends and I walked into the club, I saw 3 girls standing by themselves at a random table — perfect ratio. So I walked up and start talking to the cutest one, who was a blonde and had an innocent vibe to her. It only took about 5 minutes before this girl was eating out of the palm of my hand. Half-way into our conversation, I realized that all 3 of these girls were married due to the massive wedding rings on their hands. Therefore, I decided to end this conversation and walk away. After all, I never want to be caught up in any husband drama (even if it is Las Vegas). We then walked over to the GDQFHÁRRUWRVHHWKDWVFHQHZDVOLNHDQGWKDW·VZKHQLWKDSSHQHG« I felt someone slowly stroke my arm. When I looked over to see who it was, I saw a girl in a fur vest standing about 10 feet away, looking back at me over her shoulder. Without any hesitation, I approached her as she held her KDQGRXWWRSXOOPHWRZDUGVKHU5LJKWDZD\,VDLGWKHÀUVWWKLQJWKDWFDPHWR my mind… “So did you really kill an animal just so you could dress up for the club tonight?” 97

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl From that moment on, she was hooked to the conversation. She went on to tell me that she is a model, and just did an Instagram shoot wearing that vest. After a few minutes of talking, I could see that this girl was clearly attracted to me, so I led her to a more quiet part of the club where we could have some “privacy.” Now I know what you’re thinking… “Hot girls don’t ever approach guys!” I get it, dude. It’s completely understandable that you may be thinking that. %XWWKHWUXWKLVWKDWZKLOHKRWJLUOVVHOGRPDSSURDFKGXGHVLI WKH\ÀQGKLP DWWUDFWLYHWKH\ZLOOGHÀQLWHO\JRRXWRI WKHLUZD\WRPDNHVXUHKHQRWLFHVKHU,Q my case, she had noticed me when I was talking to the three married women at the VIP table. Which gave me the advantage of being preselected. After leading this model to a quieter part of the club, we started talking. I teased her. She was playfully hitting me on the arm. We made out a little bit (okay, a lot). Then at one point, she pulled back from the kiss, and gave me a classic shit-test… To this day, I can’t remember exactly what she said, but I know it was a VWDWHPHQWPHDQWWRSRNHKROHVLQWRP\FRQÀGHQWIUDPHMXVWWRVHHKRZ,·G react. Rather than trying to come up with some clever comeback on the spot. I just looked at her deep in the eyes with a sly smile, and held that gaze… After a few seconds of silence the tension was unmistakable. She then broke the tension by shooting her gaze downward and saying “I think you’re out of my league…” …Take that in for a second… An Instagram model, who was likely paid to be at the club that night just WROG0(WKDW,ZDVRXWRI KHUOHDJXH$OOEHFDXVH,KHOGDFRQÀGHQWJD]HUDWKHU WKDQVFUDPEOLQJWRÀQGDZLWW\FRPHEDFN From that point on, I cut back on the teasing all together, and just connected with her like a normal person would. I didn’t have to break rapport anymore. I didn’t have to be cocky or funny. I just had to sit back, and lead this interaction forward. Just imagine your celebrity crush (who you’re already attracted to) teasing you… It would be overwhelming and might actually hurt your feelings. She just told me that she thinks I am out of her league, so if I had tried to tease her any more, then I would have been too intimidating for her, and the 98

The Magic Ability She Can’t Resist. interaction would have likely died. So instead, I actually complimented her and pulled her in. When I pulled her in for a hug, I said, “Hey, you’re seriously an awesome girl. It’s rare to meet someone who’s is hot and down to earth like you are. You don’t have to be nervous around me.” That’s right. I pulled her in (validated her) to raise her self-esteem. Doing this actually challenged her to come up to my level, so we could relate even PRUH,KDYHDOZD\VGHÀQHG´FKDULVPDµDVWKHFRQWDJLRXVYLEHWKDWEULQJV others up. By complimenting her from the frame of being out of her league, I was being as charismatic as possible in that moment. So to bring this full circle, the magic ability that she won’t be able to resist is creating tension and then BASKING IN IT. 6SDUNLQJWHQVLRQLVJUHDW,QIDFWWKDW·VZKDWWKHZKROHÀUVWSDUWRI WKLV book was about. But it’s knowing how to handle the tension that separates the boys from the men. This is the same tension you feel when you are about to approach a girl, or when a girl is holding eye contact with you and you are tempted to look away… From today on, I want you to practice becoming comfortable with the tension. Like lifting weights in the gym, the ability to handle tension is a muscle that you can build. Here are the two exercises I recommend… 1. Meditation. Meditation is simply practicing being more present to the moment. All you have to do is sit in a still and comfortable position, while observing your thoughts without latching onto them. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and concentrate on your EUHDWKLQJZLWKRXWÀGJHWLQJDURXQG,I \RXÀQGWKDW\RXNHHSJHWWLQJGLVWUDFWHG don’t judge yourself or get mad, just go back to focusing on your breath. Do this for 5 minutes a day. 2. Cold Showers. This is how you practice being nonreactive to uncomfortable tension. All you have to do is shower in water as cold as it can go, without clenching up, freaking out or scrunching your face. :KHQ\RXÀUVWKRSLQWRWKHFROGVKRZHUVWDQGXQGHUWKHZDWHUDQG choose a spot on the wall in front of you to hold eye contact with. Hold this eye contact without showing any signs of discomfort on your face. Do this for 30 seconds, then proceed to take your shower as normal. 99

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl At the end of your shower, before you turn off the water, do another set of 30 seconds where you hold eye contact with a spot on the wall, without showing signs of discomfort. Cold showers are great because you won’t want to get into the water when it is that cold. The anxiety you feel right before you jump into a cold shower is the same tension you feel right before approaching DKRWJLUO«:KHQ\RXÀQDOO\GRJHWXQGHUWKHZDWHULI \RXFDQKDQGOHFROG ZDWHUEHDWLQJGRZQRQ\RXUERG\\RXFDQGHÀQLWHO\KDQGOHVH[XDOWHQVLRQZLWK a woman. If you can practice being present, while also non-reactive to tension, then no girls’ tests will be able to phase you. The reason I started off the “Lust” section of this book with this is because when you can create tension with a girl, then that tension quickly turns sexual, which leads to her imagining sex with you in the near future. Getting a woman to “Lust” after you is as simple as creating sexual tension, and basking in it. The rest of this section is dedicated to Attraction Secrets that trigger Lust. Let’s jump right in…

100

SECTION #35

Implying Her Innocence.

I

F THERE IS ONE THING

I CAN SAY FOR SURE ABOUT SEDUCING WOMEN, IT’S THIS…

The quickest, and easiest way to get a girl qualifying herself to you, is to subtly imply that you see her as “innocent.” By letting her know that you think see her as “innocent” she’ll feel the urge

to prove you wrong — even if she actually is innocent. No girl wants to be seen as a prude, or inexperienced sexually because then her frame of “I’m the hot girl that you have to work for” instantly crumbles. The best part is that by implying you see her as innocent, you are also implying that you yourself are NOT innocent. In other words, you are implying that you are preselected. And now you are in a position where she’s trying to prove to you that she’s really an edgy girl. To do this, choose any of the following tactics: •

Telling her she couldn’t keep up with you… ”I really want to invite you out with us, but I’m just not sure that you could keep up.”

•

If she tells you where she’s from... “Wait, you’re from there?! The last girl I met from there had never kissed a boy. You’re not one of those innocent girls who only knows like 3 sex positions, are you?”

•

Or if you learn any random fact about her… “Wait, you’ve never been out of the country?! God you’re so innocent. It’s cute…” (saying “it’s cute” at the end turns this teasing statement into a push-pull statement)

•

If you and her are having a friendly conversation, and you want to spike the sexual tension... “You know it’s really a breath of fresh air to meet a girl in this town who is as sweet and innocent as you…” 101

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl •

One of my favorite compliments to give a girl is on her smile. To do WKLV,ZLOOVD\´$WÀUVW\RXORRNHGVRVZHHWDQGLQQRFHQW%XWWKHQ ZKHQ\RXÁDVK\RXUVPLOHDWPH,FDQVHHWKLVQDXJKW\VLGHWR\RXU personality too… I’m not sure what to think about you…” This compliment push-pulls, and is also a cold-read (Secrets #6 and #8, respectively).

Drop any of these lines in your conversation with a girl early on, and she’ll be the one who starts seducing you, as she tries to show you just how NOT innocent she is. ;-)

102

SECRET #36

L`]*f\:]kl >ajklL]pl&

E

ARLIER IN THIS BOOK

I TAUGHT YOU THE BEST FIRST TEXT YOU CAN SEND A GIRL

(Secret #26). Well in this chapter, I’m going to show you the next best thing to text her after getting her number. This is ideal for when you met

her out and then exchanged phone numbers after talking. Here is the basic outline of the text… “(her name, or a nickname you gave her), this is (your name). (a mini description of you PLUS a phrase that implies she was the one chasing you, even if it’s completely false). Hope ur night/day/weekend was as dashing as you are :)” Personally, I’ll send that text to a girl the day after meeting her, and I’ve never NOT gotten a great response to it. It’s a text that conveys you’re fun, witty, and not afraid of a little banter. 7KHÀUVWWLPH,WULHGLWZDVZLWKDJLUOQDPHG$PDQGD “Amanda, this is Patrick. The half-Asian man whose phone you shoved ur # into last night... Hope ur night was as dashing as you are :)”

She was a bottle service girl at a nightclub in Las Vegas, where I met her the night before... The day I texted her, we met at a low-key bar, and I ended up taking her back to my hotel room for a “good time.” (Shhh. What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay there... So they say.) 7KHQH[WZHHN,PHWDJLUOQDPHG%ULWQH\RQDGDQFHÁRRULQ6FRWWVGDOH, remember she was wearing a red dress, so a day couple days later, I texted: “Red Dress Britney, this is Patrick. The tall half-Asain man who you couldn’t keep your hands off of on Friday... Hope ur weekend was as dashing as you are :)”

103

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Not only did I meet up with Britney the day I sent this text. But she also bought me dinner for my birthday (which was the following week), and pulled me back to her car where we had some... not-so-safe public sex. You see, most men tend to send things like “Hey!” or “Nice to meet you!”… DON’T BE THAT GUY who sends those texts. They are not unique, and do not let her know who is texting her. 7KLV´ÀUVWWH[WµLVJUHDWEHFDXVHLW·VSOD\IXOLWVHWVWKHULJKWIUDPHVDQG it let’s her know exactly who you are, in a unique way. Even if she doesn’t remember your guys’ exact conversation, she will be intrigued with this text because you stand out from every other guy who might also be texting her…

104

SECRET #37

The Ultimate Takeaway.

T

HERE COMES A TIME IN EVERY SEDUCTION WHERE YOU AND YOUR GIRL WILL

have to be alone… For instance, as soon as you can tell a girl is into you, you must isolate your guys’ interaction away from all other distractions.

This can mean moving to a quiet part of the lounge or club you are at, or you can go to a completely separate venue all together. The reason for doing this is to build a connection with her, and see if you OLNHKHUEH\RQGWKHLQLWLDODWWUDFWLRQ%XWLI \RXGLGWKLVZLWKRXWÀUVWLVRODWLQJ her away from other distractions, then you risk other guys trying to interrupt your conversation, or her friends coming to pull her away. With that said, most guys make the mistake of trying to connect with a girl before she is attracted to him. Attraction, in itself, is a spice in the seduction dish, thus it must be sprinkled in throughout the interaction. This secret that I’m about to give you is the perfect way to keep the attraction (and tension) high, AFTER you have isolated her and started connecting with her. STEP ONE: Tell a story about yourself, and then ask her if she can relate to your story — you know, connecting like two normal people would. STEP TWO: Once you can tell she’s opening up a little bit, ask her this question… “So what is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in your childhood?” Trust me, everybody has an embarrassing story from their childhood. Getting her to open up about her story will put her into an emotional state where she is slightly self-conscious, but in a way that actually makes her feel more comfortable with you (after all, she wouldn’t tell you something so embarrassing unless she was comfortable with you). 105

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Once she starts telling the story, just be present, maintain eye contact and listen. Don’t show too much emotion on your face. Just maintain that seductive gaze (Secret #3). STEP THREE: 2QFHVKHÀQLVKHVKHUVWRU\SUHWHQGWKDW\RX·UHVOLJKWO\ surprised at what she just told you. Then stand up, pat her on the shoulder and say “Wow. It was really nice to meet you, but I should probably get going…” As you stand up and start walking away. Almost as if you see her in a completely different light because of her embarrassing story. One of two things are going to happen… Before you can take too many steps away from her, she will grab your arm and pull you back (especially if you have been pretty playful with her up to this point). Or she will be so shocked that you just left because of her story, that she will be speechless and just sit WKHUHDV\RXVWDUWZDONLQJDZD\7KLVLVZKHQ\RXGRWKHÀQDOVWHS« STEP FOUR: Once you have taken 2-3 steps away from her, turn around, ÁDVKKHUDVPLOHDQGVD\´
106

SECRET #38

Dggck
H

AVE YOU EVER HEARD OF

NEIL STRAUSS? THIS GUY WAS AN ÜBER NERD, AND

had claimed to “penetrate” a secret society of people called “pickup artists.” You may know as the author of his book The Game.

Even though I am damn good at picking up women — as is evident from

the fact that I’ve got 107 different ways to get the girl — I do not consider myself a pickup artist (PUA for short). That said, there are a few gems that I picked up from The Game book that continue to work like gangbusters, even to this day. You see, many of the old school PUA’s used canned routines to attract women. They would memorize line-after-line, and could talk to a girl for hours without using a single original word… Clearly this is not a good strategy to keep a girl interested for longer than a few hours because eventually you would run out of material. However, in this Secret, I am going to give you a routine from that book (with my own personality and twists added to it) that works really well to attract women. My intention for you is to not only memorize this routine, but to more importantly take note of why this it works so well… Try to think about all the positive implications a girl can make about you when you say this to her… “Over the last few years, I’ve experienced a lot of new things. I have travelled places I never thought I would. I have dated a lot of women. And I’ve made a habit of doing things that push me outside of my comfort zone. And if there’s one thing I’ve realized, it’s this… Beauty is common.
107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl woman who knows their value regardless of their looks. That’s the type of girl that really drives me wild… So, I am curious… If I asked you, what are 3 things about yourself that would make me want to get to know you better, none of them can be about your looks or what you do, what would they be?…” Did you see it? In just a few sentences, you have let her know that you live an interesting life, you live outside of your comfort zone, and good looks on a JLUOGRQ·WSKDVH\RX
108

SECRET #39

;dgk]:mlFg;a_Yj&

G

IRLS

LOVE A GUY WHO CHALLENGES THEM. ESPECIALLY IF HE DOES IT

nonchalantly and in a playful way, which is exactly what I’m going to teach you how to do in this chapter. This is a one-liner that you can say

to any girl, and it will let her know that you like her BUT aren’t 100% sold on her yet… Subtly letting a girl know that you are “not sold on her yet” is one of the best frames to come from in seduction. However, you have to imply it rather than outright stating it because it’s much better for her to conclude your higher status — blatantly telling her will appear try-hard. Here is the what you say… “You know what’s really rare these days?… Someone who has a great

outlook, a great personality, and great energy.” Then you pause, slowly size her up and down with your eyes and say “You’ve got 2 of the 3. It’s a good start.” Right after you say that last line, slowly look off into the distance. Try this just once, and you are going to catch yourself using it all the time. It is very similar to Secret #38, but is different because rather than asking her for her great qualities, you are telling her what you value in a woman, then letting her know that she is “close.. but no cigar.”

109

SECRET #40

Her Blow Job Addiction.

W

HO KNEW GIRLS COULD BE ADDICTED TO GIVING AMAZING FELLATIO?

I certainly didn’t. That is until I used exactly what I’m about to

teach you, on multiple girls. All of whom I had the same result with…

Very enthusiastic, and regular BJ’s. This Attraction Secret has the ability to take any girls underlying attraction for you and turn it into powerful lust. She won’t be able to stop thinking about the moment when she can get you alone, and go downtown (if you know what I’m sayin’). So use this wisely, and don’t overdo it. You only have to say this once to a girl for it to work. Like a tiny seed, once it’s planted, it will quickly grow into more sexual tension than you could imagine… STEP ONE: If you have never hooked up with her, then you have to PDNHKHUZDQWWRJLYH\RXDJUHDWEORZMRELQWKHÀUVWSODFH+HUH·VKRZ« After she is fairly attracted to you, and you have sparked some sexual tension, randomly ask her this question, “You’re not one of those girls who never reciprocates oral are you?”7UXVWPHDVVRRQDVVKHJHWVWKHFKDQFHRQHRI WKHÀUVW things she will do is go down on you. This is because you framed “not going down” as a negative character trait. STEP TWO: Text her a few days afterward (I’ve even done this weeks after), and say “Want to know a secret?” 6KH·OOGHÀQLWHO\ZDQWWRNQRZDQGZLOODVN\RXWRWHOOKHU« You then reply ´
Her Blow Job Addiction.
111

SECRET #41

Instant Rapport With Anyone.

T

HE AMOUNT OF CONFIDENCE YOU HAVE IS ALMOST ALWAYS A DIRECT RESULT OF

your environment. This is because we are constantly pinging the people in RXUHQYLURQPHQWWRVHHZKHUHZHÀWLQRQWKHVRFLDOWRWHPSROH

For example, you might meet a really hot girl and think she is somehow

better than you, thus making it even harder for you to spark a conversation with her. Or conversely, you may meet someone whom you perceive as being lower on the totem pole than you — like a girl who you aren’t necessarily attracted to ³DQGEHYHU\FRQÀGHQWDURXQGKHU :KDWHYHUWKHVLWXDWLRQLVLI \RXKDYHHYHUIHOWPRUHFRQÀGHQWDURXQG VRPHSHRSOHDQGOHVVFRQÀGHQWDURXQGRWKHUVWKHQUHDOL]HWKLV«,WLVDOO LQ\RXUKHDG7KHRQO\UHDVRQ\RXUFRQÀGHQFHFKDQJHGLVEHFDXVH\RXU subconscious automatically assigned you a role on an imaginary social hierarchy. 7RÀ[WKLVIURPQRZRQ,ZDQW\RXWRconsciously frame everyone as your equal. Open your mind, and try not to judge anybody positively or negatively. The way I see it, we are all here on this spinning rock in outer space, and in the overall timeline of human existence, we are all just one tiny pixel. Two-thousand years from now nobody is going to care who the CEO of Apple was, nobody is going to care who was poppin’ bottles at the club, and nobody is going to care if you scored with the hottie from the bar or not. So stop basing your judgements of yourself (or others) on arbitrary nonsense. The trick is to view everyone as your equal. When you can frame every person you meet as someone who is equal to you, you will already have a strong underlying sense of rapport with them. The reason why this attracts women so powerfully is two-fold… 112

Instant Rapport With Anyone. First off, no girl is ever out of your league with this mentality. When you treat her as your equal, and don’t put her on a pedestal like most guys, then she will passively accept that you and her are in the same “league.” And secondly, if she happens to see YOU as out of her league (or above her), then viewing her as your equal will actually challenge her to be more FRQÀGHQW This is what a woman means when she says she wants a guy who “challenges” her — she just wants a guy who she thinks is BETTER than her to accept her, thereby raising her self-esteem. When this happens, she will start to do things to qualify her worth to you and gain your approval, without even knowing it. The reason I put this chapter in the LUST section is because when you mix vying for your approval with her trying to prove her worth to you, then you’ve got a highly seductive combo. The instant you and her are alone, she will likely try to jump your bones. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. So how do you take action on this? Simply STOP qualifying yourself around other high value people. Treat others as your equal by never feeling the need to sell yourself (or get starstruck) around them. A high value man never has to sell himself, defend his actions, or prove his worth unless he wants to. Imagine someone walking up to Michael Jordan and telling him “I think you’re the worst basketball player of all time.” Michael Jordan would probably think they were joking and move on with his day, unaffected. He knows that he is a basketball legend, and doesn’t have to prove himself to anybody. Adopt this same non-reactiveness around hot women, and other high value people. When you do, the ability to frame others as EQUAL to you will become natural. And as a result, nobody will be out of your league, and will actually feel an instant sense of rapport with you. $GGLWLRQDOO\WKLVZLOODOORZZLWW\EDQWHUZLOOÁRZQDWXUDOO\«)RULQVWDQFH LI DJLUOTXDOLÀHVKHUVHOI RUVHHPVQHUYRXV\RXZRXOGQDWXUDOO\MXVWVD\ something like, “It’s cool girl, you don’t have to try so hard, just be yourself around me.” Pretty cool, right? 113

SECRET #42

Eaf\;gfljgd Ydegkl!

T

HIS MIGHT BE THE MOST EVIL SEDUCTION TACTIC

I KNOW. IT’S THE CLOSEST

thing to mind-control that there is… Have you ever heard someone say “I’m a bad test taker” or “I’m

just really good at doing whatever I set my mind to”? Those two statements are examples of people expressing their self-image — the way someone views themselves. People with high self esteem tend to have positive self images (i.e .“I’m a morning person” or “People like me”). People with low self esteem tend to have negative self images (i.e. “I’m not that funny” or “people think I’m weird”). The most interesting part is that the actions people take are a direct result of their self-image. For instance, if someone views themselves as a straight-A student, then they will likely take the actions that a straight A-students would. 7KH\ZRXOGVWXG\DORWDQGSUREDEO\VDFULÀFHWKHLUVRFLDOOLIHWRJHWDQ$³ which reinforces their self-image. But here’s the downside… Your self-image is a result of how other people view you, unless you consciously choose it yourself. Someone who views themselves as quiet or shy usually isn’t that way because they chose to be. Usually, they are shy because other people treat them like they are… In other words, each time someone treats them like they’re shy, they start to actually believe they are shy, so they act shy — this has now become their self-image.
Mind Control... (almost) this… By literally molding her self-image FOR her. Similar to cold-reading a girl, but way more powerful… The difference is that rather than making a guess about her (cold-read), you validate her for a positive quality that she already has — even if she doesn’t know she has it. 7KLQNRI LWWKLVZD\,I ,PHW\RXDQGLQRXUÀUVWFRQYHUVDWLRQ,JDYH\RX the compliment “Dude, you’re like super nice…” Even if you are generally a grumpy person, every time you hung out with me you would start to act nicer just because of the compliment I gave you. If this sounds like mind-control or manipulation to you, it should, because it is. And if your moral code tells you that you shouldn’t use this, then you need a serious reality check! Everybody you know already does this to you, but you just don’t know it, and neither do they. This is how people have controlled each other for ages… From the psychiatrist curing her patient of an addiction, to the baby who cries to get attention. Manipulation happens all around you, more than you think. This attraction secret is just allowing you to see the matrix, and use it to your advantage. Here are a few ways you can do this… 1. Complimenting her for having good character traits… “You know, I think it’s really awesome how adventurous, and spontaneous you seem. It’s rare to meet someone like you who goes after what she wants regardless of what other people think.” With that compliment, you intentionally validate her for being adventurous, spontaneous and independent (the character traits of a girl who wouldn’t mind leaving the bar with a random guy she’s attracted to). Even if she hasn’t been acting that way so far, by telling her you think she is, then she will start to be. After all, no girl will want to correct you and say she isn’t one of those things. (Usually, the biggest reason a girl won’t go home with a guy is because of her friends, and not necessarily because she doesn’t like him. It all comes down to saving face. Women have the fear of being “slut-shamed” by her friends, and will often turn a guy down just so nobody judges her negatively — even if she liked him.) 115

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl 2. Frame certain character traits as a negative, so she’ll act the opposite… So if you’re talking to a girl, you could ask something like, “You’re not one of those girls who is a follower, and never does her own thing are you?” 3. You can compare her to a (hypothetical) female friend or yours who has great qualities, which will cause her to also adopt those qualities. For example, “I just realized something… You totally remind me of my friend Rebecca. She’s the type of girl who seems super cute and professional on the surface, but in reality has a crazy and exciting side to her. You know, the type of girl who can let loose, and not care what other people think…” 4. Telling her what that you like when she does something, so she’ll do it more often… This is how I’ve trained certain girlfriends in the past to give me really enthusiastic blowjobs (certainly not to my current girlfriend if she happens to be reading this book). You could tell her something like, “You know what I love?... I love how great it feels when you go down on me before we have sex. You go down with so much enthusiasm, and really seem to enjoy yourself down there…” Trust me, one of the best compliments you can give a girl is on the quality of the oral she gives. If you tell her she gives great head, she will continue to go down on you with more enthusiasm and excitement each time, simply because you framed “enthusiastic blowjobs” as a good thing. Sort of like a grade-school teacher giving out a golden star for good behavior. I encourage you to try and come up with a few ways to do this, on your own. Just think about what qualities you want your woman to have, and how you can validate her for already having those qualities. The key is to remember that people tend to move towards pleasure (positive traits), and move away from pain (negative traits)… (For more on the concept of the self-image, check out Psycho Cybernetics by author Dr. Maxwell Maltz)

116

SECRET #43

Let Her Wonder.

S

OMETIMES

LESS CAN BE MORE WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTING WOMEN. IN

this chapter, you’re going to learn 2 words that get a woman obsessing about you when you are not around. Here are they are…

“Hmm, Interesting…” Any time you learn something new about her, just say, “Hmm,

interesting…” And then move on to the next subject. This will create a HUGE open loop, that will make her want to know more. You can even bait her into this by asking her a seemingly random question. 7KHPRUHUDQGRPWKHEHWWHU)RULQVWDQFH´4XLFNTXHVWLRQZKDWLVWKHÀUVW word that pops into your head when I say popsicle?” No matter what her answer is just reply, “Hmm, interesting…” The randomness of the question combined with your vague response will PDNHZRQGHUZK\\RXDVNHGWKDWTXHVWLRQLQWKHÀUVWSODFHDQGZK\KHUDQVZHU was “interesting.” Because you now know something she doesn’t, she’ll start to chase you by asking you what everything means. From here, you can go one of two directions… You can leave her hanging by not telling her. Or, you can make her work for the answer, and then cold read her (my personal favorite). Here’s how this might look… %DLWKHULQE\DVNLQJDUDQGRPTXHVWLRQ´4XLFNTXHVWLRQZKDWLVWKHÀUVW word that pops into your head when I say popsicle?” When she answers, pause, then look her deep in the eyes and say, “Hmm, interesting…” Then before she can respond, follow it up with, “Next question… What is your least favorite color?” 117

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl When she answers, act surprised and say, “Wow! Very interesting…” At this point she’ll be dying to know why you’re asking her these questions, so she might say something like “Tell me what these questions mean!” If she does, just playfully respond by saying, “Chill girl, I’ve got one more question… God you’re so needy… Anyways, here’s the last question… What is one word to describe the way you feel when doing your favorite activity?” When she answers this last question, just pause, and say “… Alright, do you want to know what all of these questions mean?…. (pause)… Absolutely nothing.” She might hit you on the arm, or playfully say something like “Oh my God, I hate you!” Then you respond, “I’m just kidding. Here’s what they actually mean…” This is where you can insert any cold read you want (For a detailed explanation about how to cold read her, refer back to Secret #8). You could make up some vague explanation about how each answer she gave says something about her sex life (Secret #18). Regardless of how crazy \RXUFROGUHDGLVMXVWWKHIDFWWKDW\RXDUHFROGUHDGLQJKHULQWKHÀUVWSODFHLV enough to spark attraction (and Lust). 6RIRUH[DPSOHLI KHUDQVZHUWRWKHÀUVWTXHVWLRQZDV´FROGµ\RXFRXOG make up a cold-read about how the word “cold” represents her feeling about the men she’s dated in the past. Then you could go on to say that if she’s not careful she could miss out on a great opportunity and not even know it (… clearly hinting that YOU are the great opportunity). If her answer to the second question was “yellow,” you could make up some cold-read about how yellow is a vibrant color which represents her ideal sex life — vibrant and exciting. ,I KHUDQVZHUWRWKHÀQDOTXHVWLRQZDV´IUHHµ\RXFRXOGPDNHXSD FROGUHDGH[SODLQLQJWKDWEHLQJIUHHLVZKDWIXOÀOOVKHUWKHPRVWDQGWKDWVKH should make sure to only do activities that bring her the feeling of freedom and independence. …I also want to point out that all of these questions and cold-reads were pulled out of my ass when writing this chapter. I only tell you this to show that the CONTENT of what you say does not matter. The only thing that matters 118

Let Her Wonder. is creating an open loop by using the words “Hmm, interesting…” Which will make her chase you. If you leave it open, then she WILL wonder about it later… The cold-read at the end is completely optional…

119

SECRET #44

Q]k$EYkl]j

H

OW DEMANDING ARE YOU?

I ask this because one of the most sexy things, to a woman, is a man who knows what he wants — especially in the bedroom. Feminine energy

always wants to be taken over, and submit to masculine energy (this is true even if it’s a masculine woman with a feminine man). As a man, you should always strive to be less permission seeking, and more certain with women. Any time you seek permission or approval from others you are assuming the more feminine role. Permission seeking is inherently a beta male, or feminine trait. This is why the guys who pursue women normally end up getting friend-zoned — because he is showing women that he is feminine. Men like this often end up with masculine, alpha-women. The simplest way to be more certain is by being more commanding. Rather than asking her to do something, tell her to do it. Rather than looking for her approval (i.e. asking if she wants to hang out), do what you want and invite her along the way. This works at any point in your seduction with her. Let me paint the picture for you… •

If you approach her on the street, and are talking to her in the middle of a crowded sidewalk, gently grab her hand and say “Hey, move over this way.” As you pull her to the side so you aren’t blocking the sidewalk.

•

If you are making out with her, pause, and whisper the command “kiss my neck” into her ear. This is a dominant, and sexual command that implies you know exactly what you want. 120

“Yes, Master...” •

If you are mid-makeout with her, rather than trying to take off her clothes yourself, tell her with conviction, “Take off your bra.” or “Take off your pants.”

•

If you are about to have sex with her, rather than sticking your penis in and pumping away like a jackhammer, tease her with it and make her beg by telling her to “say please.” (more on this in Secret #75)

Every time you command a girl to do something, say it with the tone of voice that a king might command his servant with — calm, deep, and certain. Being more commanding in the seduction process conveys dominance, and will guarantee that a girl never friend-zones you again…

121

SECRET #45


I

T WAS WRITTEN IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, AND HAS BEEN A LAW OF HUMAN

for as long as humans have been alive… Adam and Eve had just ONE rule: Do not eat the apples on the forbidden tree. And look how that turned out.

Simply put, any time you tell someone to not do something, they will be tempted to do it. The perfect example of how this applies to attracting women comes from a line I heard in the television show Lucifer (sort of ironic given the example in WKHÀUVWSDUDJUDSK /XFLIHUZDVVLWWLQJRQDFRXFKDFURVVDQDWWUDFWLYHZRPDQ and when there was a brief moment of silence between them, he broke the silence by saying “You’re thinking about it aren’t you? You shouldn’t, I’m like walking heroine…” And just like that, Lucifer had made her think about having sex with him by telling her to NOT think about it. From now on, rather than asking women to do something, tell her NOT to do it and watch what happens. (Secret #44 is powerful, but just imagine how much more powerful it could be if you commanded her to not do any of the examples I listed in that chapter). I’ll give you a personal example that happened to me… One Sunday afternoon, I was with two girls and we went to lunch where we started drinking. After lunch we decided to go to a house party where even more drinking had occurred. But being a Sunday afternoon, eventually everybody at the party got tired, and I decided to look for a spare bedroom so I could take a quick power nap. But before going into a spare bedroom, I walked up to a girl who I had EHHQÁLUWLQJZLWKHDUOLHUDQGWROGKHU´+H\,·PJRLQJGRZQVWDLUVWRWDNHDQDS 122

Don’t do that! Do NOT even think about coming downstairs and trying to take advantage of me. I’m really tired…” I then walked downstairs, found an empty bedroom, and closed my eyes. About 10 minutes later, before I could fall asleep, the door creaked opened… Any guesses on who it was?… That’s right. It was none other than the girl I told NOT to come looking for me. Needless to say, we did not sleep. ;-) Just imagine how different this situation would have been if before going into the spare bedroom I said to her, “Hey I’m going to go downstairs. Want to come with me and have sex?” She probably would have never came looking for me. But because I essentially took the option of sex away before she was even thinking about it, I got my desired end result… You can also do this when bringing a girl back to your place by saying, “Fine, you can come into my apartment, just don’t take try to take advantage of me. I know how you women think.” Call it reverse psychology. Call it genius. Just don’t call it ineffective…

123

SECRET #46

Zones of Intimacy.

O

NCE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT

I’M ABOUT TO TEACH YOU, GETTING PHYSICAL

with any woman will be automatic. Zones of intimacy are a concept I came up with to help guys understand how to break the touch barrier,

and escalate on a woman in a non-creepy way, that actually turns her on. A “zone of intimacy” is a part of the body, and how intimate that area tends to be. The closer to the center of your torso, the more intimate, and the further out from your torso the least intimate. For instance, a girl’s hands are a lot less intimate to touch than her chest. People are obviously more likely to protect the parts of their body where all the vital or sexual organs are. Thus, if a girl is comfortable with you touching her in the center of her torso, then you will have a deeper intimate connection with her. Makes sense, right? The zone of intimacy that someone is comfortable with you touching is directly proportional to how comfortable they are with you, overall. You should also know that once a girl is comfortable with you touching her in a particular zone (i.e. her back or shoulder), then she will be comfortable with you touching her around that area again in the future. As a man, the easiest way to physically escalating towards sex, without coming across as weird or creepy is by breaking the touch barrier in a nonintimate zone, and working your way towards the center of her body. Doing this in a natural way will turn her on as the sexual tension starts to grow. There are few common mistakes guys make when touching women, and by avoiding them, you will avoid seeming awkward or creepy. Here they are: 124

Zones of Intimacy. 1 - Nervous Energy. This is the type of guy who acts like he’s about to touch a girl, but instead hovers his hand over her rather than fully touching her. Or he will lightly place his hand on her, and just sort of leave it there like a dead ÀVK«7KLVVRUWRI QHUYRXVHQHUJ\ZLOODOZD\VFUHHSKHURXWEHFDXVHLWFRQYH\V lack of certainty (and thus experience). She wants a guy who is completely FRQÀGHQWZKHQWRXFKLQJKHUEHFDXVHVKHNQRZVKLVFRQÀGHQFHZLOOWUDQVODWHWR the bedroom. So when you touch a girl, completely own it. Go for it with conviction, and act as if it is completely natural for you, even if it isn’t yet. Eventually, this fakeLWWLO\RXPDNHLWVWUDWHJ\ZLOOERRVW\RXUFRQÀGHQFHZLWKWRXFKLQJZRPHQ 2 - Out of Context. If you touch a girl at a time where it doesn’t make sense, then it will always be creepy. For example, it would make perfect sense for you to put your arm around her if you guys are sitting on a couch and watching a movie. However, it would be weird for you to put your arm around her if you guys were standing in a group of friends, all talking to each other. The same touch, in a different situation can lead to a different outcome. 3 - Calling Too Much Attention to the Touch. Guys who are nervous about touching women, or don’t have much experience doing so, tend to call too much attention to the fact that they are touching her. This would look like the guy blatantly staring at his hand as he touched the girl. When touching her, do it naturally while holding eye contact, or looking straight ahead. Don’t stare at your own hand, calling more attention to the touch than necessary. The other way that guys call too much attention to the touch is by leaving their hand in the same sport for too long. For example, if you were sitting next WRDJLUODQG\RXSXW\RXUKDQGRQKHUOHJ7KLVLVSHUIHFWO\QRUPDODQGÀQH but becomes creepy when you leave your hand there without moving it for an extended period of time (i.e. 10 minutes or longer). *X\VZKRDUHFRQÀGHQWZKHQWRXFKLQJZRPHQWHQGWRWDNHDZD\WKH WRXFKÀUVWDQGZRQ·WFDOOWRRPXFKDWWHQWLRQWRWKHIDFWWKDWWKH\DUHWRXFKLQJ KHULQWKHÀUVWSODFH6HH6HFUHW  125

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Moving through the zones of intimacy, in a non-creepy way, will actually spark a lot of sexual tension. In Secret #47, we will talk about a technique to always leave her wanting more when you touch her…

126

SECRET #47

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back.

S

AY THIS WITH ME.

2 STEPS FORWARD, 1 STEP BACK… 2 STEPS FORWARD, 1 STEP

back. This is the Holy Grail to escalating on a girl while also making her

want you more. The only caveat is that she’s got to be attracted to you already IRUWKLVWRZRUN7KLVLVDQLGHDÀUVWPDGHSRSXODUE\'DYLG'H$QJHORDQGLW looks like this… Imagine meeting a chick in a bar, and you get really close to her while talking — getting close to her is one step forward. Then imagine that you put your hand on her shoulder as you tell her some teasing line — this is a second step forward. At this point, if you went in for a kiss, or left your hand on her shoulder for too long, that would be a third step forward, and she would get creeped out. Therefore, you take one step back by taking your hand off of her shoulder after you deliver the teasing line. After you have taken this one step back, you are now a step further than \RXZHUHZKHQ\RXVWDUWHG$QGVLQFH\RXWRRNDZD\WKHWRXFKÀUVWVKHZLOO want it back… As the interaction continues, maybe you grab her hands and put them on your shoulders — a step forward. Then you stop talking and look her deep in the eyes, almost like you’re about to kiss her — another step forward. But if you actually went in for the kiss, it would be 3 steps forward. So what do you do?… That’s right, you take one step back by saying something like “God you need to stop trying to make me like you” as you gently push her away — a step backward. You can now continue the conversation like normal, except now her 127

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl hands are on your shoulders, meaning that you’re still moving this interaction forward, step-by-step. …Maybe later, you and her actually start making out because the sexual tension has been built up so high. After you’ve been making out with her for a few minutes, you can start pulling her hair at the roots in a dominant and attractive way — a step forward. Then you move your other hand down and start rubbing her clit over her pants, as she gets really turned on — another step forward. But if you went for the kill, and tried to slip your whole hand in her pants, that would be 3 steps forward, and she would likely stop you. So instead, you move your hand back up, taking away the touch, and go back to just making out with her again — this is a small step backward. Now she is super turned on, and there is only so much further you can go until you and her are both back at your place copulating (“Wow, what a great use of your vast lexicon, Patrick!” Why thank you, I know). When in doubt, always remember, “2 steps forward, 1 step back”…

128

SECRET #48

L`] Egf]qEgn]&

I

CALL THIS MOVE “THE MONEY MOVE” BECAUSE IT WORKS

100% OF THE TIME.

This move is designed to gauge exactly how comfortable a girl is with

you, while also escalating up the zones of intimacy. Using this move alone,

you will be able to break the touch barrier, and physically escalate as far as she is willing to go, without being creepy. Imagine this situation… You invite a girl over to your place to hang out, and you guys end up on the couch. She is on one end of the couch, with you DWWKHRWKHU7KHFRQYHUVDWLRQLVSOHDVDQW7KHUHLVDOLWWOHELWRI ÁLUWLQJJRLQJ on, but you know that if you don’t make a move soon, she will lose interest. So what do you do? You whip out the money move, bro! Step 1: Extend your hand out to her with the palm up. The reason you extend your hand out with the palm up is because the ability to see your palm will subconsciously makes her trust you more. Thousands of years ago, if we could not see someone’s palms then we assumed they were hiding a weapon. 7KLVLVZK\SHRSOHKDYHGHYHORSHGWKHKDELWRI VKDNLQJKDQGVZKHQWKH\ÀUVW meet; it’s a mutual way of saying “hey, you can trust me.” Secondly, because people shake hands so often, she will instinctually reach out and grab your hand when she sees it extended towards her. This will be subconscious (meaning that she’ll do it without even thinking about it). Step 2: Once she grabs your hand, start pulling her towards you. By gently pulling her towards you, you will know exactly how comfortable she is with you in that moment. Here are some of the various scenarios that might occur… 129

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl One, she will not come towards you at all and resist your pull. This is not rejection, it just means “not yet.” Realize that she is already somewhat attracted to you or she wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. Simply go back to building more comfort and rapport. Two, she will gladly come towards you, and sit right next to you on the couch. This is great because she clearly wanted to sit next to you, and possibly even cuddle with you, she was just waiting on you to make the move — the “money” move. Three, she comes all the way to you, and while maintaining eye contact, you pull her in until your lips lock with hers. If this happens, then it means she is attracted to you, comfortable with you and was waiting for you to kiss her. This is obviously the ideal scenario. Keep in mind that when you start pulling her towards you, you are going to pull her in as far into you as she is willing to go — with the best case scenario resulting in a kiss. To ensure a kiss (if she is willing) maintain eye contact while pulling her in. As soon as she starts to resist you, you know to stop pulling at that moment, and settle into your guys’ new positions. Either way, you have just moved this whole interaction one step forward. No matter what, you win with the money move because it tells you exactly how comfortable she is with you, in that moment. Best of all, it shows her that \RXDUHZLOOLQJWRPDNHWKHÀUVWPRYH0RVWJX\VDUHVLPSO\WRRDIUDLGWRGR this, which is why they miss out with most of the women they date. This money move has many applications. You can use this while sitting in a booth at a restaurant. You can use this if you are standing and talking to her in a EDU7KHPRQH\PRYHZRUNVLQMXVWDERXWDQ\ÁLUWLQJVLWXDWLRQZLWKDZRPDQ The only requirement? Having the balls to extend your arm out and grab KHUKDQGLQWKHÀUVWSODFH«

130

SECRET #49

The Slow High-Five.

L

IKE THE

MONEY MOVE, THE SLOW HIGH-FIVE HAS THE SAME PURPOSE — TO

gauge how receptive a girl is to you. Not only are you physically escalating the conversation, but you are being the man, leading the interaction and

making the move. Often times the one difference that determines if you actually get the girl or not is simply making the move. That’s why I am dedicating multiple chapters in this book to different ways to MAKE THE MOVE in a socially savvy way. +HUHLVWKHVORZKLJKÀYH« Step 1: On a high note in the conversation, raise your hand to give KHUDKLJKÀYH2QFHDJDLQSDOPVFRQYH\WUXVWZRUWKLQHVVDQGKLJKÀYHVDUH KDELWXDO:KHQVRPHRQHUDLVHVWKHLUKDQGWRKLJKÀYHXVZHXVXDOO\KLJKÀYH them back without thinking. Remember from Secret #46 that one of the most creepy things a guy can do is touch her out-of-context. So only do this at a highnote in the conversation. Whenever you learn something new or interesting about her, you can KLJKÀYHKHU,I \RXFKDOOHQJHKHUWRUHPHPEHU\RXUQDPHDQGVKHGRHVWKHQ \RXFDQKLJKÀYHKHU,I VKHTXDOLÀHVKHUVHOI WR\RXE\WU\LQJWRWHOO\RXKRZ LQWHUHVWLQJKHUOLIHLV\RXFDQKLJKÀYHKHU)LQGLQJWKHULJKWPRPHQWWRGRWKLV is not that hard, you just have to be present to the moment (Secret #34). 6WHS+ROGKHUKDQGLQWKHKLJKÀYHSRVLWLRQMost of the time,

ZKHQVKHLVDWWUDFWHGVKHLVQRWJRLQJWRJLYH\RXWKHW\SLFDO´EURµKLJKÀYH Rather, she will raise her hand, slowly put her hand on yours and hold it there. When she does, that is the perfect time to gauge how attracted to you she is.… Here are some of the various scenarios that might occur… 131

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl •

,I VKHJLYHV\RXWKHKLJKÀYHDQGWKHQSXOOVKHUKDQGDZD\6KH did not reject you, she just needs a little more sexual tension in this interaction.

•

,I VKHOHDYHVKHUKDQGRQ\RXUVLQWKHKLJKÀYHSRVLWLRQ\RXFDQWKHQ LQWHUORFNÀQJHUVDQGVHHLI VKHFODVSV\RXUÀQJHUVEDFN«

•

,I VKHFODVSV\RXUÀQJHUVEDFN\RXFDQORZHU\RXUKDQGVEDFNGRZQ to your waist level, while still holding her hand and maintaining strong eye contact…

•

If she continues to hold your hand and maintain eye contact in this position, you are essentially now in the same scenario as performing the money move (Secret #48). Now you can continue to pull her towards you and gauge how far she is willing to go with you, in that moment.

7KHVLPSOHDFWRI KROGLQJKDQGVZKLOHORZHULQJWKHPIURPWKHKLJKÀYH position, and holding strong eye contact is a HUGE indicator that she is really attracted to you. This gesture creates a unique and intimate moment between you. A kiss could happen right then and there.
132

SECRET #50

Get Into Her Bubble.

T

HERE IS A NATURAL TENSION THAT ALREADY EXISTS BETWEEN MALES AND

females. To prove it, imagine taking any man, and any woman at random, and then dropping them on a deserted island together. I guarantee that if

you left them there for an extended period of time they would have sex at least once. Masculine and feminine energy is naturally attracted to each other like two ends of a magnet. No work has to be done to “create” that sexual tension because it already exists. Every attraction sparking technique I teach you simply DPSOLÀHV that sexual tension, making it more obvious. This is what literally attracts her to you. One of the easiest ways to amplify this tension is by entering her personal bubble. This goes without saying, but people normally have an imaginary bubble surrounding them, and anytime someone enters that bubble they get a slightly uncomfortable feeling — tension. And when this tension is between a man and a woman, it can quickly turn sexual. However, tension is like a drug, too much of it and she will overdose. Too much tension in any interaction will make her want to exit the conversation as fast as possible. But if you give her just the right amount of tension, then like a drug, she will keep coming back for more. Tension is good, but only in the right amount. To bring out sexual tension the right way, you need a reason to get into her EXEEOHLQWKHÀUVWSODFH+HUHDUHDIHZZD\VWRDFFRPSOLVKWKLV« •

Lean in and whisper anything into her ear. Just make sure it is relevant to her and the conversation. 133

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl •

Turn side-by-side with her to create an “us-versus-the-world” vibe (refer to Secret #61 for more on this).

•

Hold strong eye contact with her… Even if you aren’t necessarily in her bubble, great eye contact has the ability to create a bubble between you two. You’ll know if there is a bubble between you, if you forget about any distractions going on around you. Almost like tunnel vision, where you and her only notice each other.

No matter what your excuse to enter her space is, just make sure you have a reason to do it (creating the right context), and that she actually knows you are entering her bubble. The last thing you want is to be the guy who randomly FRPHVXSEHKLQGKHURQWKHGDQFHÁRRUDQGWULHVWRVWDUWJULQGLQJZLWKKHU Entering her bubble only works if you and her are already interacting, and her attention is on you. (Side Note: Approaching a girl from behind her never works. Just don’t do it. If you are going to approach a girl, make sure she sees you before you start talking to her.) If you are wondering, “What would I say when whispering into her ear?” The answer isn’t black and white. I recommend whispering a teasing or pushpull line, then leaning back out and holding a seductive gaze with her (Secret  «7KDWVDLGMXVWOLNH\RXZHUHWKHRQHWRHQWHUKHUVSDFHEHWKHÀUVWRQHWR exit, leaving her wanting more…

134

SECRET #51

FglQ]l

T

HIS IS A FUN THING YOU CAN DO WHEN ENTERING HER SPACE THAT WILL MAKE

her want to kiss you. The only catch is that she has to already be attracted to you…

What you do is enter her bubble by pulling her in close to you, as if you

guys are about to kiss (Secret #48 and #50 combined). Then get so close to her that you are nose-to-nose with each other, and your lips just millimeters apart. Then pause…… This will create so much sexual tension that she will be weak in the knees with anticipation… At this moment softly whisper “Not yet.” From here you can either lean back out, and take take a metaphorical step backward (Secret #47). Or you can stay there, lips millimeters apart, and see how long she is able to resist kissing you. The fact of the matter is, getting in her bubble raises tension. Then telling her “not yet” spikes even more tension and makes her want you EVEN more than she did seconds earlier. By staying in that position, she’ll likely yank you FORVHUDQGVWDUWNLVVLQJ\RXDQ\ZD\V8KRK'LGVKHMXVWPDNHWKHÀUVWPRYH" I think so…). If you can, hold out and resist the urge to kiss her. Let the anticipation build, DQGNHHSWHOOLQJKHU´QRW\HWµIRUDVORQJDV\RXFDQ7KHQZKHQ\RXDUHÀQDOO\ ready to kiss her, and you feel like the tension is about to explode, tell her to “say please” (more on this in Secret #75). When she does, reply by saying, “Please, what?” Then when she complies by saying something along the lines of “Please kiss me!” Grab her by the roots of her hair, and kiss the fuck out of her. If you don’t proceed to have the most intense make-out session of your life, then you didn’t build the anticipation high enough. :-) 135

SECRET #52

Blame Her For The Escalation.

D

O YOU REMEMBER THE CONCEPT OF PUSH-PULL FROM

SECRET #6?

Well in this Attraction Secret, you will learn one of the most effective ways to use push-pull. It’s not what you think, and involves more

than just using your words — it involves your body language too. What you do is push her away verbally (with your words), while at the same time escalating on her physically. In other words, you are playfully blaming her for seducing you, while you’re the one who’s actually making the move. Let’s talk about why this is so effective… First off, you are setting the

frame that SHE is the one trying to make you like her, and is chasing you. By framing the interaction this way, she may actually start making all the moves on you later on (Secret #42). Because of the certainty in your voice when you blame her for the escalation, she will start to question if she actually is the one trying to seduce you or not, even if she originally felt like you were the making all the moves. The strength of your frame will mold her frame to match yours. Secondly, the fact that you are pulling her closer to you, while telling her to stop seducing you makes no sense at all. This lack of logicality makes the whole gesture fun and playful for her. It’s different, and exciting. Truthfully, she might not even notice what’s going on because your words almost hide the fact that you are pulling her closer to you. And lastly, this creates a metric fuck ton of sexual tension. You’re getting into her bubble (Secret #50), while creating playful banter. I guarantee that she will say something along the lines of “You’re the one making all the moves on me!” To give you an idea of what I mean, here are some great ways to do this… 136

Blame Her For The Escalation. •

Make deep eye contact with her, then grab her hands and gently pull her towards you, while saying “You need to stop looking at me like that. It’s turning me on.”

•

Give her a hug (for any reason) while saying in a playful tone, “I freaking hate you.” Say this with a sly smile on your face.

•

3XOOEDFNIURPWKHNLVVÀUVWDQGVD\´,GRQ·WNQRZZKDWVRUWRI VSHOOV your casting on me right now, but you need to stop because they are starting to work.”

•

If you go for the kiss, and she turns her head to give you the cheek just say “You need to stop trying to take advantage of me. It’s not going to work.” (Side note: when you go for a kiss and she only lets you kiss her cheek, do not get discouraged. This gesture only means she is not ready to kiss you YET... Nothing more, nothing less. Continue the playful and challenging vibe, and go for the kiss again in a few minutes.)

•

If you and her are dancing, pull her towards you and get close to her face as if you’re gearing up for a kiss, but stop short and say “You need to stop being such a good dancer. It’s making me like you...”

•

If you and her are hitting it off, playfully (and gently) nudge her away from you while saying “Stop it. Seriously. I’m not trying to like anybody right now.”

•

If you and her are making out, pause for a second and say, “We’re not having sex tonight.” Then start kissing her again… She will likely jump your bones right then and there. (this is also a good example of Secret #12)

•

If you and her are hugging, end the hug early by saying “Ok, that’s enough.” As you gently push her away.

Remember: Whenever you break the touch barrier, or are physically HVFDODWLQJDOZD\VEHWKHÀUVWRQHWRSXOODZD\ÀUVW:KHWKHU\RXSXOOEDFNIURP WKHNLVVÀUVWRU\RXVWRSDKXJHDUO\E\MXVWKDOI DVHFRQGPDNHVXUHWKDW<28 DUHWKHRQHZKRDOZD\VHQGVLWÀUVW« 137

SECRET #53

Women Love Ass.

I

F YOU SURVEYED

100 WOMEN ON WHAT THEIR FAVORITE BODY PART ON A GUY WAS,

the answer might surprise you. You may think that the answer would be arms, or abs, or a chiseled chest, but that is not the case… The large majority of

women actually prefer a guy with a nice butt. I’m not sure why. Heck, I’m not even a butt person myself, but I have found this to be true more often than not. Go out and start asking girls what they like most on a guy yourself (practice Secret #18 when doing this), and you will likely come to the same conclusion… Girls like ass. Therefore, you would be doing any woman a disservice to not take advantage of this knowledge. From now on, whenever you and a girl are hugging, or dancing face-toface, I want you to grab her hands and put them on your butt for a second. This will make her turned on, and she may even try to squeeze it… Then, act offended, remove her hands from your butt and say “Geez. All you girls only think about one thing! I’m not a piece of meat. Let’s take this slow.” …And just like that, you made her feel like she was the one sexually HVFDODWLQJRQ\RXWKHQ\RXWRRNLWDZD\ÀUVW
138

SECRET #54

The Perfect Line While Kissing.

I

THINK THIS LINE WAS FIRST MADE FAMOUS BY ONE OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE

book The Game by Neil Strauss. The reason I tell you this is because I want to give credit where credit is due, and then pass this gift down onto you… This line that I’m about to teach you is the perfect line to whisper into

ANY girls ear while you are kissing her. It doesn’t matter if you are making RXWZLWKKHULQDEDURURQ\RXUFRXFK,QWKHEHGURRPRURQWKHGDQFHÁRRU Wherever you choose to use this line, just know that she will instantly get turned on, and imagine having amazing sex with you. $OO\RXKDYHWRGRLVSXOOEDFNIURPWKHNLVVÀUVWDQGWKHQZKLVSHU´
SECRET #55

Best Role-Play?

W

E’VE ALL HEARD ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING IN THE BEDROOM, BUT DID YOU

know role-plays also work great outside of the bedroom? One of the best role-plays you can do with a girl who you’ve just met is to pretend

that you and her are a couple who has been together for years… For example, if you just met her in a bar, get into a play argument with her. Make a scene about it. If she says something you disagree with, start ranting and raving like “Geez this is why I can’t take you anywhere in public! First it’s the dishes, and now you want to disagree with me about who the best basketball player in the world is?! That’s it we’re done. Ten years down the drain. I can’t handle you anymore!” This is all playful of course. And because it’s so ridiculous, she’ll instantly SLFNXSRQLWDQGVWDUWSOD\ÀJKWLQJEDFNZLWK\RX7KLVSOD\DUJXPHQWLVIXQ sparks attraction, and most importantly it assumes rapport. To be an actual “couple” takes a lot of trust and rapport, and even though you barely know her, pretending to be a couple will create a TON of rapport out of thin air. She will actually feel like you guys are a couple. And because YOU are the one who broke up with her, you wear the pants in that fake relationship. Another fun way to do this is by bringing others into it the role-play. For LQVWDQFHLI RQDÀUVWGDWH\RXWDNHKHUWRDUHVWDXUDQWWKHVHUYHUZLOORIWHQDVN “So have you folks been here before?” You can take this as the opportunity to instantly make up a playful backstory… “Actually we met each other here, and this is our 10th anniversary. She approached me at the bar and begged my friends to let me go home with her. 140

Best Role-Play? It’s been a puppy love ever since… Even though she snores loudly, and has a weird foot-fettish, we always come here on our anniversary to remind us of ZKHUHZHÀUVWPHW«µ Once again, because how ridiculous your story is, she will likely play along (or at the very least she will be really entertained). No guy has ever pretended to be in a fake relationship with her, and then pretend to break up with her on the spot — making this a HUGE pattern interrupt. And when you claim she was the one chasing you in the backstory, that spikes the sexual tension. Even if you barely know her, now she’ll want to see what other surprises you have in store for her…

141

SECRET #56

“She literally MacGyver-ed her fmeZ]jaflgeqh`gf]&&&

D

O YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOST MOTIVATING POWER IN THE WORLD IS?

The answer is simple: Scarcity. We always want what we can’t have. ALWAYS. And the Attraction Secret I’m about to give you originated

from something I heard about a famous multi-millionaire and one of his weird habits… I heard about this guy only has around 10 contacts in his phone at any given WLPH7KHÀUVWSKRQHQXPEHULVKLVPRWKHUDQGWKHRWKHUVORWVEHORQJWRDQ\ person in his life that he deems as a valuable person to have in his “inner circle.” But here’s the catch… He makes it very obvious who is in his top 10 contacts. If you make it into his 10 saved contacts then he tells you straight up, ´&RQJUDWV\RX·UHLQWKHWRSµ$QGÀUVWWKLQJLQWKHPRUQLQJHYHU\GD\KH sends each contact a motivational quote. But if you happen to fall out of the top 10, then he tells you, “Sorry, you’re no longer in the Top 10.” Because you always know that you could be kicked out of his “inner circle,” then you are always subconsciously offering him value to keep your spot. If you ever get that text that you’ve fallen out, it’s like the most painful feeling you’ll get all week. Almost as if you’ve been kicked out of an exclusive club. 2QFH,KHDUGDERXWWKLVP\ÀUVWWKRXJKWZDV´7KDWLGHDLV)8&.,1*

genius!” Not only because it makes your 10 best friends feel like they always have to be offering you value, but also because it drives women WILD when you refuse to exchange phone numbers with them. Let me give you an example… 142

“She literally MacGyver-ed her number into my phone...” Not too long ago I was on vacation in Newport, CA, and one of the nights I went out to a bar to see if I could apply this habit to attracting women… Most of that night I was dancing and making out with a girl that I had just met. She was beautiful, and was a graphic designer for one of the biggest clothing companies in the world. However, by the end of the night her friends kept trying to pull her away. So she said to me, “Hey, I’ve got to go. Let me give you my phone number.” Now here’s what most guys would have done in that situation... They would have gotten excited and took her phone number. If there’s one thing you’ve got to understand about girls and getting their phone numbers it’s this — hot girls give out their phone numbers to a lot of men. But they only respond to, and meet up with the guys who stand out from the crowd. So unless your interaction was really solid, you’ll likely never see her again... Knowing this (in addition to the fact that I was only in town on vacation), I rejected her, “I can’t take your number.” She said “Why?!” I said, “Because you’re not in the top 10.” “What?” “I only keep 10 contacts in my phone at any given time, and you haven’t earned your spot yet...” “But I’ve really got to go right now! Let’s meet later this week…” I held my frame strong. It was at this moment that she went bananas! (Side note — when a girl REALLY wants to hang out with you, then she will go to the ends of the earth just to do so, and what she did next is a prime example…) She wrestled her hands into my pocket, ripped out my phone, and asked me to unlock it. I refused. That’s when she took out HER phone, opened the notes app, made a note containing her phone number. Then she took a picture of it with my phone (with iPhones you can open the Camera without unlocking the phone)… The note she wrote read: “Call or text me sorry you’re stubborn AF… 949.555.5555… Xoxo”

She literally MacGyver-ed her number into my phone. Now that’s ambition! This just goes to show the extreme power of people wanting what they can’t have… This girl ended up leaving me shortly after taking the picture. But because 143

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl I did not want to go home alone that night, I decided to try this again… So I grabbed a buddy of mine and we immediately approached a few more girls and invited them back to our hotel room for an “afterparty” (Secret #64). Long story, short… At the end of the night, after some sideways gymnastics, the second girl really wanted to give me her phone number. Can you guess what I said to her? That’s right, I gave her the exact same spiel that I gave WKHÀUVWJLUO«,WROGKHUDERXWP\7RSFRQWDFWVDQGKRZVKHKDVQ·WHDUQHG her spot yet. She had the exact same reaction. She went nuts… “What?! But I want to give you my number!” ,KHOGWKDWIUDPHVWURQJDQGEHFDXVH,ZDVÁ\LQJKRPHWKHQH[WGD\,KDG zero intention of giving her my number. So that morning when I kicked her out, I caved in and let her add me on SnapChat. While driving home, she sent me a SnapChat containing her phone number. (By the way, go follow all of my social media accounts right now. Links to all of my social media accounts can be found through my Youtube channel: https://www.YouTube.com/PatrickJames ) After that night, I made a mental note about what had happened. You see, most guys try so hard to GET a girls’ phone number. But the instant I turned the tides by refusing to take it, she worked even harder to give me her phone number. Moral of the story: Always make her work for your approval. Obviously you do not have to take this as far as I did that night. But you can use this Secret to make her qualify herself on why you should take her SKRQHQXPEHU7KLVFDQPDNHDOOWKHGLIIHUHQFHEHWZHHQJHWWLQJDÁDNH\SKRQH number, and getting the phone number of a girl who is anxiously waiting for you to text her…

144

SECRET #57

Learn From Comedy Gold.

T

HERE IS AN OLD

ADAM SANDLER MOVIE CALLED BILLY MADISON WHERE, AS AN

adult Billy is forced to go back through grade-school. When he gets into KLJKVFKRROKHWULHVWRSURYHWKDWKHLVRQHRI WKHFRRONLGV6RRQKLVÀUVW

day, a girl sitting in the desk next to him leans over, and quietly asks “Hey, can I borrow a pencil?” Instantly, Billy blurts out “No I won’t make-out with you!” This is obviously a funny joke for the movie, but in real life, making jokes like this can create a ton of attraction — when done under the right circumstances. You are already pretty far into this book, so let me quiz you… Why do you think this will spark attraction? …If your answer involves the fact that this is a huge pattern interrupt, and sparks strong emotions then you would be correct! Most importantly, this is a playful way to bring the topic of sex into the conversation, in a light-hearted way, and it creates a lot of social pressure. Blurting out something sort of sexual, so that people around you might hear, will make her feel slightly embarrassed. She won’t be too embarrassed, but just enough to create tension. As long as you keep this joke playful in nature, to her it will feel like, “God, I hate this guy, but at the same time he is so fun to be around!” Feel free to use the example I gave you from Billy Madison, but this can be used in a variety of other ways… For example, if you and her are walking through a grocery store, start a play argument about how it’s her turn to cook you dinner — out loud so that people around you can hear. Then tell her, “That’s it! No sex for you tonight!” 145

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl 2ULI \RXDUHLQEDUDQGDJLUO\RXDUHÁLUWLQJZLWKVXJJHVWVH[FKDQJLQJ phone numbers you can raise your voice and exclaim, “You’re not a stalker are you? I can’t handle any more of those.” If a girl starts to tell you a secret, blurt out “What! You watch lesbian porn every day?!” Like we’ve established, most of communication happens nonverbally — through your body language, and vocal tonality. Part of what makes this Secret so effective is the sudden increase in the volume of your voice. The IDFWWKDW\RXDUHWHDVLQJKHURUSOD\ÀJKWLQJZLWKKHUIRUHYHU\ERG\WRKHDU is the element that makes this playful, and sparks the emotion of slight embarrassment. This Attraction Secret may not be for everybody just because it might not be congruent to your personality. But when you get this right, it can be one of the many quirks of yours that makes her fall in love with you. Simply because it’s so goofy, so unique, and at the end of the day FUN. …and if you’re worried that the girl will get mad or offended, just smile and say “Geez girl, I’m joking! Why so serious?” As you bring her in for a friendly, one-armed hug.

146

SECRET #58

K`go@]j@goAlk
T

HIS IS A QUICK AND SIMPLE THING THAT YOU CAN DO WHENEVER KISSING A GIRL

to convey your masculine dominance in an attractive way. Earlier, in Secret #44 (“Yes, Master…”), I told you about a line where you tell her to “kiss

your neck.” Well this is how you can take that line to the next level… Tell her to kiss your neck (mid make-out), and once she does, let her kiss your neck for a few seconds before stopping her and saying “Come here, let me show you how it’s done…” 7KHQJHQWO\\HWÀUPO\JUDEWKHKDLURQWKHEDFNRI KHUKHDGE\WKHURRWV tilt her head back to expose her neck, and then start kissing her neck — for bonus points, start biting her neck too. Obviously you are not going to break skin with your teeth, and you’re not biting a small portion of skin so that it pinches her. Rather, take a solid bite mixed with a kiss. Doing this will show her that you know how to be adventurous sexually. This move also implies that you have experience, which indirectly makes her think that you are preselected. Plus… Neck biting is always a fun way to switch things up with kissing a girl. 2QDVLGHQRWHLI \RXKDSSHQWRÀQG\RXUVHOI PDNLQJRXWZLWKDJLUO\RX just met, in public, it does not guarantee that she is ready to sleep with you yet. I have coached a lot of guys who make the mistake of thinking “if she makes out with me, then she will probably go home with me to have sex.” This is not always true. Kissing is a fun way to expressing lust and attraction, and nothing more. It does not necessarily mean that she is ready to lay back and spread her legs for you. 147

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl That is why it’s important to get her turned on when kissing, but always leave her wanting more until you are behind closed doors. Always pull away IURPWKHNLVVÀUVW7HDVHKHU0DNHKHUFKDVH\RX To actually sleep with her, treat kissing as a stepping stone towards sex (Secret #47), but not necessarily as a sign that she is ready to have sex. Keep leading the interaction forward, while also making her work for it every step along the way…

148

SECRET #59

Literally Pick Her Up.

I

MAGINE A CAVEMAN FROM THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, WHO IS WITH A WOMAN THAT

he wants to sleep with… How do you think he would go about seducing her? Personally, I imagine ancient cavemen as being barbaric and straight to

the point. When they wanted something, they went and got it, plain and simple. If a caveman wanted to sleep with his woman, he would probably throw her over his shoulder and carry her into his cave where he could ravish her body. Well I want you to adopt this sort of caveman mindset, when the sexual tension is heating up between you and your girl. 7KLVLVPDVFXOLQHGRPLQDQFHDWLW·VÀQHVWDQGZRPHQORYHLW0RVW women probably wouldn’t admit it, but they love when a guy can completely take charge, throw her down and dominate her sexually — especially in today’s society. Women these days feel like they have to be alpha, and independent, just to VXFFHHGDVDIHPDOHLQZHVWHUQVRFLHW\7KDWLVZK\ZKHQZRPHQÀQDOO\PHHW a man who takes charge, and allows her to give into her feminine side, she gets wildly turned on. In this Attraction Secret, I urge you to go CAVEMAN on her, at a high note of sexual tension in your interaction with her. To do this, physically bend down ,and literally pick her up by her waist, and carry her a few feet away — almost as if you are so attracted to her in that moment that the caveman inside of you just had to pick her up and carry her off. I discovered how powerful this was at a nightclub here in Scottsdale, when I was bantering with a girl I had just met. I had given her a small compliment, to which she replied “Is that your pickup line?” Immediately I replied, “Never 149

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl mind, I hate you…” She instantly burst out into laughter because she was not expecting me to say that — it was a pattern interrupt. Then I responded to her laughter by saying “Wow your laugh is actually adorable,” as I pulled her in for a one-armed hug. Then I ended the hug early by saying “Ok, that’s enough, get off of me…” (Secret #52) At this point, because of all the pushing and pulling that happened so fast, she started laughing uncontrollably. So in that moment, almost by instinct, I reached down and physically picked her up. Then I started walking away with her over my shoulder. To the untrained seducer, you might think that literally picking her up would shock her, or offend her. And if I had randomly done this at a low note in the conversation, then yes, she probably would have taken it the wrong way… However, at this moment she was laughing, and the interaction was at a high note (this was obvious due to all of her laughter). To her, me picking her up just seemed to be a fun expression of my sexual attraction for her. Therefore, when I picked her up, she continued laughing even more hysterically — both shocked and turned on at the same time. I only carried her a few feet away, and gently put her back down on her feet. Then I grabbed her hand and led to a quiet corner of the bar where we could get to know each other better… If this idea of picking girls up scares you, I will say this… I have never physically picked up a girl and had her NOT like it. This works. Plain and simple. Just make sure to do it at a high note. The only thing you have to remember is that after doing this she will be super attracted to you. Meaning that if you tried to do MORE attraction WHFKQLTXHVLHWHDVLQJFKDOOHQJLQJHWF WKHLQWHUDFWLRQZLOOÀ]]OHRXW 5HPHPEHUVHGXFWLRQJRHVDWWUDFWLRQÀUVWFRQQHFWLRQVHFRQG6RRQFH\RX realize she is attracted to you, you must transition the vibe from attracting her, to connecting with her. With the girl from this story, when I led her to a quieter part of the bar, I stopped all the pushing and pulling. I quit teasing her as much. And I just started qualifying her to see if she was someone that I wanted to spend more time with. 150

Literally Pick Her Up. A few pro-tips… Another time you can do this move is while making out with her. Often times if I pick a girl up while we’re making out heavy, she will wrap her legs around my waist as I gently shove her back against the wall. This always seems to put her sex drive over the top. Or if we are back at my place and I’m making out with her. I will stop the make out session, pick her up, and carry her over my shoulder to the bedroom where I gently throw her down onto the bed. Remember, this is what the caveman would do. Give her the gift of that masculine dominance…

151

SECRET #60

Condense Time.

W

HAT IF YOU COULD FIT

4 DATES INTO 1?

What if you could make her feel like she’s known you for weeks

when she’s only known you for hours?

What if you could create such a unique connection with her that she will

always remember you? You can. And it is a lot easier than you might think. All you have to do LVÀWPXOWLSOHGLIIHUHQWH[SHULHQFHVLQWRRQHLQWHUDFWLRQZLWKKHU7KLQNRI LW like this, you are much more likely to remember a conversation you had with someone if you felt multiple different emotions in that conversation, compared to a conversation where you only felt one or two emotions. Speaking to someone for 5 minutes where you felt happy, anxious and sad is much more memorable to you than a conversation where you just felt happy the whole time. The range of emotions is what makes you memorable. The way I recommend doing this is by simply leading her to various different locations throughout the night. Whether you just approached her in a bar, or you are on a date with her, there are several ways this can go… Let’s say you met her in a bar by approaching her… After a few minutes, you can say, “Hey it’s actually loud in here, come with me…” As you grab her hand, and lead her outside where it is quieter, and there are less distractions. Then 30 minutes later, you can invite her to a another bar down the street with you. But rather than giving her a standard invite, you qualify her with the invite by saying “So, I have a proposal for you… I would love to go to this chill lounge down the street, and grab another drink with you, but if you come, you have to promise that you’ll tell me something interesting 152

Condense Time. about yourself…” (You may remember this line from Secret #5, where we talked about barriers and last second conditions.) 2UOHW·VVD\\RXDUHRQDÀUVWGDWHZLWKDJLUO« She is much more likely to enjoy the date if the date consisted of multiple experiences (i.e. you went to a cool bar, then a walk in the park, and then had a drink back at your place), versus a date where you only did one thing. Multiple ORFDWLRQVPDNHVLWIHHOOLNH\RXDUHÀWWLQJGLIIHUHQWGDWHVLQWRRQHQLJKW This Attraction Secret doesn’t take any actual skill, it just takes a little bit of extra planning, and the willingness to lead. For a long time this was exactly how I set up my dates… I would meet her at a really cool bar for a drink or two, then we would go for a walk where we could talk and explore the city, and depending on how the date was going, I would invite her back to my place for a movie (or another drink). In addition to the fact that you are condensing time (3 different dates into 1), you are also setting the tone that YOU are the one leading this interaction. Most women love when a man takes the lead. Whether it’s deciding where to go for the night, leading the foreplay in the bedroom, or just leading the conversation… She wants to be led by you. By leading her from location to location throughout the night, you’re showing her that you are a natural leader, as well as strengthening your connection with her by condensing multiple experiences into one…

153

SECRET #61

Us Versus The World.

H

AVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY TEAMMATES ON A SPORTS TEAM TEND TO

always have a deep connection with each other? People who are on the same team seem to automatically have a

bond with each other, even if they hate each other as people. This explanation of why this happens is simple… It’s because they have a shared, common goal. Additionally, they have a common enemy — the other team. In the book ,QÁXHQFH, Robert Cialdini calls this phenomenon “likability” which basically just says that people who have things in common like each other — automatically. What if you could trigger this likability with in any girl you meet, while also making her wildly attracted to you? Well, you can. But before I tell you how, I want to show you how most guys tend to speak to women in social environments…

154

Us Versus The World. Notice how the two people are face to face with each other. Also note, that being face-to-face seems confrontational. By standing like this when talking to a girl, she will likely get defensive. Her personal bubble will feel bigger, and you would have to stand further away than necessary just to comfortably talk to her. Standing closer than just a few feet, will create too much uncomfortable tension. By this point of the book, you know that tension is actually a great thing for creating attraction. But, like we established earlier, tension is like a drug. Too much of it and she can overdose. Creating too much tension at once will risk making yourself seem “creepy.” You don’t want her to think you’re creepy do you? What I’m about to show you is a nonverbal trick that will allow you to get into her personal bubble (thus creating sexual tension) without triggering her “creep” response. My good friend Adam Gilad originally showed this to me, and I’ve used it non-stop ever since. All you have to do is simply turn shoulderto-shoulder with her while talking, as you both face out towards the rest of the room…

Standing shoulder-to-shoulder creates an “Us vs. Them” vibe (you and her against everybody else in the room). As you can see, doing this allows you to stand in her bubble without the risk of creating too much tension. In fact, it’ll be just the right amount of tension when you combine this with some playful banter. You can do this while doing the Tease & Shoulder Nudge (talked about 155

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl in Secret #32). Or you can strengthen the “Us vs Them” bond by turning shoulder-to-shoulder and comparing her to other women (further discussed in Secret #62). This simple body language trick will create a lot of unspoken rapport between you and her. Just to give you some context, this is exactly what I did to seduce an NFL Cheerleader at a bar in San Diego. Here’s what happened… I approached two girls, a blonde and her brunette friend. After my opening line, the blonde girl instantly responded positively to me. When she did, I raised P\KDQGWRJLYHKHUDKLJKÀYHDQG,VDLG´)LQDOO\,PHHWVRPHFRROSHRSOH here. Most of the people I’ve met here so far have all been lame…” As I said this, I turned shoulder-to-shoulder with her and looked out among the people in the bar. Then I glanced back at her and held a seductive gaze (Secret #3)… From that moment, she was hooked. From then on, my buddy entertained her brunette friend just so I could chat with the blonde girl. We danced. We kissed (a lot). We went back to an “afterparty” at my hotel room where… Well let’s just say that “festivities” ensued. ;-) Because of this nonverbal trick alone, I quickly went from being just a random guy who approached her, to the guy who she had a ton of rapport with — THIS is how you create chemistry on command. She was wildly attracted to me simply because of this “Us Versus The World” Vibe. I found out the next morning that she was an NFL Cheerleader, as well as the girl who plays Cinderella at DisneyLand. Double whammy?

156

SECRET #62

Our World Conspiracy.

I

N THIS CHAPTER,

I AM GOING TO TEACH HOW TO USE SECRET #61 TO QUALIFY A

girl. This is something that you should use after you’ve been talking and connecting with a girl for a while. All you have to do is turn shoulder-to-

shoulder with her and say something like the following… “I’ve realized recently that most people settle for average, and never push themselves outside of their comfort zone. They spend their whole lives striving to be “normal,” never saying yes to adventure, and never really living… What a horrible way to live. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and not just “coasted” through, constantly worrying about what other people think. I think that’s what makes people like you and I so unique… Do you know what I mean?” When most guys talk about what makes them “unique” they always end up qualifying themselves by saying things like: •

“I am ambitious.”

•

“I do awesome things.”

•

“I have cool friends.”

Rather than falling into that trap, convey your awesomeness by embedding those facts into a story. Facts sell, but stories tell. You don’t have to say the monologue above word-for-word to accomplish this, either. Just take a look at how I painted my positive qualities… Rather than out right stating how I push my comfort zone and never settle for “average,” I talked about how most other people don’t. Talking about yourself is always met with resistance, whereas talking about others will allow her to draw conclusions about you… 157

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl 7KH´2XU:RUOG&RQVSLUDF\µFRPHVLQZKHQ\RXÀQLVK\RXUPRQRORJXH by outright saying “I think that’s what makes people like you and I so unique…” In addition to the fact that you are shoulder-to-shoulder, you are outright implying that you guys are alike, but different from everybody else — in other words, you guys are on the same team. The word choice is what makes this monologue work… Often times, I’ll do this as a variation of Secret #42 to get her agreeing with the fact that she is adventurous, pushes her comfort zone, and doesn’t care what other people think. At the end, asking “Do you know what I mean?” Will almost always result in her starting to qualify herself to you — even if she doesn’t agree with you. Whether she agrees or not, by trying to relate (or not relate) she is qualifying herself — simply because her response is in reaction to what you said. The more qualifying she does, the more emotionally connected to you she will feel. In short, the “Our World Conspiracy” refers to combining Secret #61 with a short monologue that implies you and her are different from everybody else, \HWWKHVDPHDVHDFKRWKHU$QGZKHQVKHTXDOLÀHVKHUVHOIVKHLVRQO\EHFRPLQJ more and more attracted to you…

158

SECRET #63

The Questions Game.

I

N THIS SECRET,

I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU A CONVERSATIONAL GAME THAT BOOSTS

attraction, introduces sex into the conversation, and builds rapport in the process. In fact, this game works so well that for a long time it became a

crutch of conversation for me. I used it every time I started connecting with a girl, and had to force myself to STOP using it… Now, I myself did not invent this game; in fact, this has been around since the old school days of the “mystery method” (that famous pick-up artist who wore furry hats and black nail polish). I recommend playing this game when you and your girl are alone, and starting to connect with each other. To do this, all you have to say is “Hey, have you ever heard of the Questions Game?” Most likely she hasn’t, so you pretend to be surprised and say “What?! That’s it we’re totally going to play it right now. I can’t believe you haven’t heard of this game…” At this point, she’ll probably ask you to describe what the game is. So you challenge her by saying, “To be honest, I’m not sure if you could handle it…” Nine times out of ten, when you say this, she will beg you to tell her more about the game. Here’s how you explain it: ´2NÀQH7KHJDPHLVUHDOO\VLPSOHEXWWKHUHDUHÀYHUXOHV«5XOHQXPEHU one, we alternate asking each other questions. You ask me a question, I answer, then I ask you a question, and so on… Rule number two, you can’t ask boring questions… Rule number three, you can’t ask the same question as the other person… Rule number four, there are no skeletons left in the closet… And rule QXPEHUÀYH«
107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl :KHQ\RXWHOOKHUWKHÀQDOUXOHVKHZLOOPRVWOLNHO\JR´:KDW"1R,GRQ·W ZDQWWRJRÀUVW\RXJRÀUVWµ,QZKLFKFDVH\RXLQVWDQWO\VWDUWWKHJDPHE\ DVNLQJKHU´2NÀQH+RZPDQ\ER\IULHQGVKDYH\RXKDG"µ«7KDWVDLGLI VKH GRHVQ·WPLQGJRLQJÀUVWWKHQOHWKHUJRÀUVW When playing this game, you’ll notice that the questions can get sexual very quickly. Just always remember Secret #18 (Sex = Pizza) so don’t get overly excited about these sexual topics. Just play it cool, and act like sex is no big deal to you. Also, don’t feel like you have to stick to a rigid question-answer, questionanswer format. Treat this game as more of a conversational theme, rather than a structure you have to follow… As you play the game, feel free to tease her about one of her answers, or connect on an interesting answer one of you had. Seduction not a logical SURFHVV6RJRZLWKWKHQDWXUDOFRQYHUVDWLRQDOÁRZZKHQXVLQJWKLVJDPH Here are a few questions that you can ask her during this game (these will help you make the conversation sexual if she keeps asking you boring, PG-rated questions)… •

“What is your favorite sexual position?”

•

“Tell me a secret that even your best friend doesn’t know about you.”

•

“When is the last time you masturbated?”

•

“What is the most adventurous thing you’ve done?”

•

“When is the last time you did something that scared you?”

•

“What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in you childhood?”

•

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

•

“What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

•

“What is your secret fantasy?”

•

“Where is the craziest place you have ever had sex?”

•

“What is something you have always wanted to do, but never had the chance to?”

•

“Why are you so attracted to me right now?”

If you end up playing this game with a girl who asks boring questions like “what is your favorite color?” then you should tease her for being boring. 160

The Questions Game. This game also makes it super easy for you to qualify girls. For example, I once played this game with a girl I had met on New Years Eve, and one of her ÀUVWTXHVWLRQVWRPHZDV´:KDWLV\RXUIDYRULWHIDVWIRRG"µ«,LQVWDQWO\ORVWDOO attraction for her due to the fact that I don’t like to eat fast food, and health is a priority of mine. The Questions Game will often lead to intense make-out sessions, due to the large amount of sexual tension that is created from the game (results may vary)…

161

SECRET #64

Afterparty Debauchery.

N

O MATTER WHAT, ALWAYS BE THE GUY WHO HAS AN “AFTERPARTY.”

…And by “afterparty” I do not actually mean a party with a lot of

SHRSOH7KLVDIWHUSDUW\LVVSHFLÀFDOO\UHIHUULQJWRWKRVHPRPHQWVZKHUH

you meet a girl out, and you want to bring her back to your place. Often times, if you want to get a girl back to your place (whether it’s after a date or meeting her at a bar), she won’t accept the invite if it’s clear she is only going home with you “to have sex.” For her, there needs to be an actual REASON WHY she is going home with you, other than sex. This is called having plausible deniability. Most women want plausible deniability because going home with a guy she just met (even if she’s attracted to him), makes her feel like she could be “slutshamed.” Women always want to be able tell her friends later, “We went back to his place for (insert innocent reason), but then we just happened to have sex…” By inviting her back to your place for an “afterparty” you are giving her an innocent REASON WHY — even if there is the unspoken assumption that sex will happen. (There are some exceptions to this rule. In my experience, the women who don’t require plausible deniability are been the older, more experienced women — ages 30 and up. Older women tend to be more comfortable with their sexuality, and know exactly what they want in a guy. This is also true for the women of any age who are naturally independent, or happen to just be really horny that night.) The word “afterparty” works great because it’s vague. What does the word “afterparty” even mean anyways?!… A fun event that occurs after the current party? 162

Afterparty Debauchery. Because of this vagueness, she might ask you questions to get more details (Is it at your place? Is there going to be more people there? etc.) Keep in mind that there does not have to be a lot of other people there — in fact, it would be better if nobody else was there. Remember, the only reason you are inviting to this “afterparty” is to be alone with her, in a place where sex could occur... If she asks for more details, don’t lie, just keep it vague and make it sound fun. Like I said, she’s already attracted to you and is just looking for plausible deniability to go home with you. Make this “afterparty” sound fun by saying “The party is going to be so dope. I heard Calvin Harris will be there!” (Implying that you’ll play Calvin Harris music when you get there)… And if she asks where it’s at, just give her a coy look and say “Girl, don’t question my leadership…” If she asks who else is going to be there, just say “Everybody is going. I’ll be there. My roommates will be there. It’s going to be crazy!”… None of these answers are lies — they are just vague. You are being 100% honest with her and building up her anticipation for a fun time back at your place. If she is with her friends, and doesn’t want to leave them, then you can also invite her friends to the “afterparty” as well, BUT ONLY if you are with your friends too. This would make this a legitimate afterparty… The key is to keep the interaction moving forward. Plus, if you are always the guy who has an actual afterparty at your place, WKHQ\RX·OOHYHQWXDOO\JDLQWKHUHSXWDWLRQRI DVRFLDOEXWWHUÁ\DQGZLOOTXLFNO\ expand your social circle. When getting back to your place, don’t feel pressured to make things happen so fast. Just put on some music, offer her a drink, and make yourself comfortable. Continue to connect with her just like you were before, and escalate at a pace that she is comfortable with… 7KLVLVWKHVDPHFRQFHSWDVWKHWHUP´1HWÁL[DQGFKLOOµ,W·VDYDJXH excuse to hang out, with the underlying assumption that sex might happen.)

163

SECRET #65

Inception Pulling.

D

O YOU REMEMBER THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE INCEPTION WITH

LEONARDO

DiCaprio? The movie is about the concept of entering the dreams of another

person, and planting a tiny idea in their head that will cause them to change their beliefs when they wake up. In the movie, they call this “inception.” Asking a woman to come back to your place can be a daunting task for most men. From now on, I want you to think of pulling girls back to your place as an art. An art that involves seeding ideas into the conversation throughout the night, that will make going home with you later on seem natural. This works SHUIHFWO\IRUÀUVWGDWHVLWXDWLRQVEHFDXVHOLNHZHGLVFXVVHGLQWKHODVWFKDSWHU a girl will not feel comfortable going home with you JUST to have sex. There needs to be another, more innocent reason. These reasons can vary from really wanting to show her a great book you’ve been reading, to watching a cool movie that you just rented, to meeting your cute puppy. Literally any reason other than “sex” works. Like Inception, you need to plant the idea of going back to your place by constantly talking about these “innocent reasons why,” throughout the date. Another way to accomplish this is by having her meet you at your place rather than at the location of the date. When she arrives at your place, offer to give her a brief tour and point out VSHFLÀFWKLQJVOLNH´,NHHSP\SXSS\LQWKDWURRPRYHUWKHUHEXW,·PQRWVXUH if I want to introduce you to her yet…” Or, “That book on my coffee table is super interesting, if you play your cards right, I might show it to you later…” 164

Inception Pulling. Statements like those are ways to plant the idea of coming back to your place later on, and they frame this as a reward for a good date. They are completely natural, and seemingly innocent reasons. Then, later while you are on the date, sporadically mention random (yet fun) things back at your place. By doing this, you have are literally throwing ideas against the wall and seeing which one sticks. If she seems really interested in a certain topic, then at the end of the night you can use that as the reason to go back to your place. For instance, she might say “Oh my God, I love puppies, they are so cute.” Then at the end of the night you could say “Let’s take this back to my place so I can introduce you to my puppy. But you can’t stay too late because I’ve got to get up early.” When inviting a girl back to your place, always create a barrier (Secret #5) which lowers her resistance to actually coming over…

165

SECRET #66

LmjfQgmjk]d^ Gf>ajkl&

D

O YOU KNOW THE ABSOLUTE BEST WAY TO TURN A GIRL ON?

When I ask guys this question, I get a slew of wild guesses. Answers that range from story telling, to touching her in the right way, to being

super romantic. While some of those can work, they are not the best. %\IDUWKHQXPEHURQHZD\WRWXUQDJLUORQLVWRWXUQ\RXUVHOI RQÀUVW This is based around a concept in NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) called ´JRLQJÀUVWµ1DPHO\LI \RXZDQWVRPHRQHWRGRVRPHWKLQJWKHQ\RXVKRXOG GRLWÀUVW Remember, whatever emotions you feel, she will also feel. Also remember that women will always tend to follow the man’s lead — especially if she and the guy have rapport with each other. So, naturally, it would make sense that by WXUQLQJ\RXUVHOI RQÀUVWVKHZRXOGDOVRJHWWXUQHGRQ So how do you do this? The next time you are alone with a girl, and there is some mutual attraction, start imagining the idea of sex with her. Turn yourself on with thoughts of desire. Imagine giving her the gift of your manhood, with her just moaning in pure ecstasy. Picture it vividly in your head, while holding strong eye contact with her. By turning yourself on, your sub-communications will automatically change. Your eyes will glaze over, making your eye contact slightly more seductive. Your voice tone will lower. Your movements and pace of speech will slow down. A sly grin may even appear on your face. All of these nonverbal cues show your “intent” — a term I used to describe effective man-to-woman communication. 166

Turn Yourself “On” First. The reason why most guys never get any results with women is because they do not show enough intent in their non-verbal communication. With that said, if you show too much man-to-woman intent, then you will creep her out. Therefore, while showing “intent” you should always be gauging her reaction… If she seems a little weirded out, then show a little less intent. If the interaction is too platonic, then show a little more intent. Eventually you will reach a sweet spot of sexual intent, and she will start to get turned on. You will know this is working when her body language starts to mirror yours. When two people are in rapport with each other, they will start to mirror each other’s body language. So when your eye contact gets slightly more seductive, and your motions slow down, observe her body language… If she starts to do the same, then that is the perfect time to whip out the money move, RUWKHVORZKLJKÀYH6HFUHWVDQGUHVSHFWLYHO\

167

SECRET #67

A Little PDA Never Hurt 9fqZg\q

N

OT TOO LONG AGO

I ASKED A QUESTION TO A GIRL I WAS DATING… “WHAT IS

your deepest sexual fantasy?” Her answer surprised me. Not because it was so unique or wild. But simply because of what it told me about her…

After some contemplation, she told me that her fantasy revolves around

an intense round of sex in an extremely public place, while also trying to be discreet. For example, in the bathroom of an airplane, or in a closet at a nightclub, or in the backseat of her car that’s parked in a busy parking lot. Now I know what you may be thinking… Public displays of affections aren’t uncommon. In fact, they happen all the time. But the major takeaway I got from this girl came from what her fantasy implied to me. She doesn’t necessarily care about the location. What actually turns her on is the secrecy, the naughtiness, and the danger of getting caught. It’s like watching an intense thriller movie while orgasming. Knowing this, any guy would be remiss to withhold the gift of secretive PDA to any girl he wants to attract. Here are some examples to get your juices ÁRZLQJ« •

If you are at a nightclub with a girl, and you two are hitting it off. Lead her behind one of those “Employee Only” doors, gently shove her up against the wall, and start making out with her. Then stop right before guys are about to get caught.

•

If you and her are sitting down at a dinner table with other people, reach your hand out and place it on her leg. Then slowly start to move 168

A Little PDA Never Hurt Anybody... \RXUKDQGXSKHUWKLJKXQWLO\RXDUHDFWXDOO\ÀQJHULQJKHUDERYHKHU pants. Because this is all happening under the table, nobody will know what is going on besides you two. •

If you and her are on an elevator together, pick her up, have her wrap her legs around you, and shove her against the wall as you proceed to have an intense make-out session. Then right as the doors are about to open, before other people can see inside the elevator, suddenly stop making out with her and act as though nothing happened.

•

If you and her are going for a stroll down the sidewalk while on a date, shove her behind a tree or a bush, make out with her really intensely for a few seconds. Then stop right as she starts to get into it, and continue walking like nothing happened.

•

If you and her are on an airplane together, before getting up to go to the bathroom, hand her a note that says “Meet me in the bathroom. Be natural.”

Are you starting to get the idea?

169

SECRET #68

Trained Abundance.

T

HE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO MAINTAIN THE POWER IN ANY RELATIONSHIP IS BY

always keeping your options open. Ironically, adopting this belief will make women want you more than just about anything…

If you have complete abundance with women in your life, then you will

never be needy. Think of it like this, if you had a million dollars in your bank account, then you could easily spend $100 without even batting an eye. But if you only had $150 in your bank account, then spending $100 seems a lot more intense. In this case, the saying “a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush” does not apply. Having only one bird in your hand makes you needy and frugal because you take fewer risks due to your lack of options. And if you are not taking risks, then you are playing it safe. And if you are safe, then you are predictable. And if you are predictable, then you are boring, and she will quickly lose interest. Now don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that you need to actually have women lining up to sleep with you to have “abundance.” You just need the mindset of someone who has abundance. In other words, you must practice being abundant, long before you even are. Over time, the more you practice this, the easier it will become. One powerful way to train your abundance mindset is by turning down a really attractive girl. For example, if you have been talking to an attractive girl at the club, but something about her is a turn off to you, then simply walk away… Maintaining your ability to turn down any girl (no matter how hot she is) reinforces the belief to yourself that you can always do just as good, if not 170

Trained Abundance. better than her. By practicing this abundance mindset, your self-image will slowly start to become that of a guy who has a ton of options with women. For example, maybe you’re dating a girl who is attractive, but her life revolves around gossip and keeping up with the Kardashians. If you never watch TV, then this is an obvious difference in lifestyle, and likely won’t work out anyways… So don’t feel like you have to pretend that you like the same things she does. Be the buyer in this situation, and choose to not “buy” her. When you do this, you are coming from a place of power. Every time you reject, or place a girl in your friend-zone (from a place of power) you are training your abundance mindset. And let’s face it, there are 3.5 BILLION women in the world. Don’t waste your time chasing women just EHFDXVHWKH\·UHKRW
171

SECRET #69

The 5 Windows of Opportunity.

H

AVE YOU EVER “MISSED YOUR SHOT” WITH A GIRL? IS THERE A “GIRL WHO GOT

away” in your life? Truth is, anytime a guy gets friend-zoned, or doesn’t actually sleep

with the girl he wanted, the reason why is very predictable (making my job as a dating coach very easy). This can almost always be narrowed down to the fact that he missed his window of opportunity, when it presented itself. In this Secret, you’ll discover that there are 5 “windows of opportunity” that make up the entire seduction process. Windows of opportunity are tiny moments in time where the interaction needs to move forward. Usually with the guy making a move when the window presents itself… If you can recognize each window of opportunity, and simply act on them, then you WILL sleep with the girl — guaranteed. The smoothest seducers in the world don’t need fancy “pickup lines” to get women. The only skill they need is to make their move when the opportunity presents itself. The only downside is that once you miss one of the windows of opportunity, they rarely open up again. Learning these will make it very obvious to you where you may have messed up with women in the past. Any time a guy messes up with a girl, or a girl loses interest, it is likely because he didn’t act on RQHRI WKHVHÀYHZLQGRZV« Window #1: Get Her Attention. For you to seduce any girl you MUST JHWKHUDWWHQWLRQÀUVW,I VKHGRHVQ·WHYHQNQRZ\RXH[LVW\RXFDQQRWVHGXFH her, much less attract her. This is obvious… Window #2: Attraction. The entire topic of this book. Attraction requires sparking tension into your interactions. If you don’t spark some sexual 172

The 5 Windows of Opportunity. WHQVLRQHDUO\RQLQWKHLQWHUDFWLRQZLWKLQWKHÀUVWIHZPLQXWHV WKHQ\RXDUH putting yourself in the friend-zone. That is, if she even likes you enough to want to be friends… Window #3: Connection. Attraction is a spice in the dish. If all you do is DWWUDFWDWWUDFWDWWUDFWWKHQ\RXULQWHUDFWLRQZLWKKHUZLOOTXLFNO\À]]OHRXW7R her, you will become a one-trick pony with no depth to your personality. That is why, the third window of opportunity is to start connecting with her like a normal human being. Most guys mess up because they try to build a connection with her before there is any attraction. They do this in hopes that she will become attracted to him over time — seduction rarely, if ever, works in this way. By now you know that attraction is something you spark early on. The only people who start a relationship on the basis of “connection” are friends. That is why this window, while crucial to seduction, must come after attraction. Window #4: Isolation. At some point, you must get some alone time with the girl. This includes isolating her away from all other distractions (like friends, other guys, etc.). When you think about it, this is obvious too… It’s really unlikely that any girl will want to get sexual with a guy in front of a bunch of other people. Often times, you can isolate a girl away from other distractions by saying “Hey, it’s loud in here. Let’s go outside where we can hear each other better…” By doing this, you are actually acting on windows #4 and #3 at the same time (isolating her so you can connect with her better). Window #5: Escalation. This is where you escalate physically, sexually, or logistically… You slow the interaction down, and make your move. Whether you are kissing, having sex, or simply exchanging phone numbers, it all happens in this ÀIWKZLQGRZRI RSSRUWXQLW\ As we alluded to in Secret #48 and #49 (The “Money” Move and The 6ORZ+LJKÀYH E\VLPSO\PDNLQJDPRYHLQWKHÀUVWSODFHVKHZLOOEHDWWUDFWHG to you. This is because most guys lack the ability to recognize these windows, let DORQHKDYHWKHFRXUDJHWRHYHQDFWRQWKHPLQWKHÀUVWSODFH If you can train yourself to start thinking about the seductive process in 173

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl terms of these 5 windows, then you are leaps and bounds ahead of almost any guy. DISCLAIMER: Seduction is not an actual linear process. Even though, in this secret, I have pointed out the 5 windows of opportunities, you should not think of these as checkpoints on a timeline. Think of these more as guidelines to help you know what your next step (or move) should be…

174

Section III: Obsession

SECRET #70

L`]+L`af_k9ZgmlQgm

O

PEN LOOPS ARE AMAZING.

THEY CREATE INTRIGUE. THEY SPARK THE CHASE.

But when done right, they can make a girl obsessed with you… That is, until you close the loop.

My buddy Rob Judge recently gave a talk at one of my seminars based

around one idea that he summed up as, “If you can get a girl to think about you when you are not around, she will fall in love with you.” In this chapter, I’m going to give you an Attraction Secret that will not only have her thinking about you when you are not around, but will also have her talking to her friends about you. She’ll be thinking about every conversation you and her have ever had. And because she’s invested so much thought energy into you, she’ll be nervous around you (maybe the word “giddy” is better word choice). The following is my adaptation of an old pickup routine, which was originated by Love Systems, an old school pickup artist company. While I do not always endorse pick up artists, (especially if their advice revolves mainly around memorized routines), this routine is one of the few that I know works like a charm. Here’s how to do this… After there is some attraction built up, and you guys are starting to connect with each other, all you have to do is this simply ask her, “Do you know what I like about you so much?” She will ask, “What?” At this point, you should get her more invested into hearing the answer. Remember, everybody loves to talk about themselves, so make her work for it by saying “I think there are 3 things I like about you, but… Never mind, I can’t tell you…” 176

The 3 Things About You... She will instantly say, “No. Tell me!” Then you reply, “Ok, do you really want to know?…” When she says “yes,” reluctantly tell her the following… ´2NZHOOWKHÀUVWWKLQJ,OLNHDERXW\RXLVWKDW\RX·UHGLIIHUHQWWKDQ most girls. Most girls are boring, and predictable. You, on the other hand, seem natural, fun, and spontaneous. The type of girl who is always down for adventure…” :LWKWKH´ÀUVWWKLQJµ\RXDUHDFWXDOO\XVLQJ6HFUHWWRSURMHFWSRVLWLYH qualities onto her. They can be any qualities you want, but in the example above I chose “spontaneous” and “adventurous.” ,PPHGLDWHO\DIWHUWHOOLQJKHUWKHÀUVWWKLQJ\RXOLNHDERXWKHUJRLQWRWKH second thing. For this, you should call back to something that you and her have already related on — something that you genuinely found cool and interesting about her. Don’t make this a generic compliment about her looks, either. Make this VRPHWKLQJQRQSK\VLFDO\RXDGPLUHDERXWKHUDQGWKHQEULHÁ\H[SODLQZK\)RU instance, maybe you like that her dream job is to be a doctor because it shows ambition, or maybe you admire that she is super family oriented. This will likely differ from girl to girl. Here is an example of how you would say this… “The second thing I like about you is the fact that you want to be a doctor one day. That is awesome. Most people would never consider becoming a doctor because of all the schooling that is involved, but obviously you are more ambitious than that. You know what you want in life, and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it…” I told her a quality that I admire about her, and then explained why I like it so much. It’s important to explain your reasoning behind the compliment here, because it will feel more genuine. Additionally, notice how I told her she “does whatever it takes to get what you want…” This is good because if she “wants” me, she’ll now be more likely to pursue me (Secret #42). Finally, you move to the last part… For the third thing, say… “And the third thing I like about you… Well, I can’t tell you… I’m afraid that if I told you what it is, then you might stop doing it…” 177

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl That is the money line right there! The open loop to end all open loops. Do not be surprised when she begs you to tell her what that third thing is. Just reluctantly keep saying, “Sorry, I can’t tell you. You might stop doing it.” And then change the subject. When she goes home that night, she will wonder about it… When she is with her friends, she will bring it up and ask her friends what that third thing could be… And when you see her again, she will still be curious about the fact WKDWVKHVWLOOFDQ·WÀJXUHLWRXW Just make sure to promise me one thing… You will NEVER tell her what that third thing is. I don’t care if you stay with this girl for 10 days, or 10 years. 'RQRWWHOOKHU7KLVLVWKHSHUIHFWRSHQORRS$QGZLOOPRVWGHÀQLWHO\PDNHDQ\ girl obsessed with you. PRO-TIP: Try doing this right after you have sex with a girl, as you both are laying there cuddling. Because she just opened up to you physically, all the HPRWLRQVVKHIHHOVIURPWKLVURXWLQHZLOOEHDPSOLÀHGZD\KLJKHUWKDQWKH\ would in any other random conversation you’ve had with her…

178

SECRET #71

The Perfect Text To Make Her Chase You.

H

AS A GIRL EVER STOPPED TEXTING YOU BACK, AND IT DROVE YOU WILD?

Whenever guys show me their text conversations and ask for my advice, I always notice a couple of things…

)LUVWRIIWKHJLUOXVXDOO\HQGVWKHFRQYHUVDWLRQÀUVW,W·VDOPRVWDOZD\VWKH

guy who sends the last text, and then she stops responding. In general, if you are always sending the last text, then you are chasing her more than she chases you. In other words, she is way less invested into you, than you are into her. Secondly, the guy is sending boring texts. Not only is he trying to create small talk by asking her boring questions. But he also has zero purpose for texting her. The only reason you should be texting a girl you like is to meet up with her in-person. By starting conversations that lead to nowhere, and letting KHUHQGHDFKFRQYHUVDWLRQÀUVW\RXDUHNLOOLQJDQ\DWWUDFWLRQVKHKDVIRU\RX Women want a guy who will lead. Women want a guy who will make her work for him because it makes him seem in-demand. By being the in-demand guy, you are not being “manipulative” nor are you being an ass. You are simply being the guy who gives her the GIFT of feeling attraction… And if you have been making these texting mistakes in the past, then fear not my friend, because I’m about to give you the best text to immediately ÁLS the script on her, and get her chasing you (even if you’ve been messing this up so far)… STEP ONE: If you and her text a lot, I’d recommend not contacting her for an entire week. Yes, seven whole days. 179

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl STEP TWO: After a week, send her this exact text: “Can you keep a secret?” She will text you back something “Yes” or “Of course lol.” Or she may even reply with a playful text like “Depends on how juicy it is…” No matter what she says, make sure to wait just as long to respond to her, as it took her to respond to you (i.e. if she took 30 minutes to reply, then wait 30 minutes to respond back). And then reply: “… I’m not convinced yet” (Or if she replies with “No” then just say “Then remind me to never tell you anything juicy”) That exact text will be just enough to spike the tension, and get her qualifying herself to you. This is good. At this point, you don’t have to wait a certain period of time to respond anymore because she is starting to qualify herself to you. So feel free to respond immediately if you want to. However, you should now shift your focus to meeting up with her in-person. Do this by using this text: “Here’s your chance to prove it. Let’s link up tonight @ (insert time) for XYZ.” Notice how you are not asking her to hang out. You are telling her to meet you so she can prove her secret keeping abilities. So you can say, for example, “Let’s link up tonight @ 7 for drinks and PG rated conversation.” or “Let’s link up tonight @ 845 for truth or dare. Just remind me to not tell you anything juicy.” You can literally say anything just because you started the conversation by FIRST creating an open loop to get her chasing you. Then you got her TXDOLI\LQJWR\RX$QGÀQDOO\\RXHVFDODWHGWKHWH[WFRQYHUVDWLRQWRPHHWLQJXS in-person. 7KLVLVWKHPRVWVXUHÀUHVHTXHQFHRI WH[WVWRJXDUDQWHHKDQJLQJRXWZLWKD girl on that same night (assuming she is free)…

180

SECRET #72

Negative Space.

A

T THE RIPE AGE OF

21 YEARS OLD, I WAS STILL A VIRGIN.

I also lived in a college apartment with 3 other roommates, all of

whom were also (likely) virgins. That is until one of my roommates got

a girlfriend. You see, him and his girl seemed to like each other a lot. This was evident by the loud moaning that started coming from his bedroom every other weekend… And even though I was a virgin at the time, I was casually dating a girl who went to a school in a different state. (This is a girl who was from the same hometown as me, but we went to different colleges, so I would only see her inperson during summer vacation, and holidays.) Because I had no clue what I was doing with women, I asked my roommate one day “Hey, how often do you think you should text a girl you like?” He thought about it for a second and then said, “Well, I text my girlfriend every day. Several times a day, in fact.” And just because of that conversation, I started texting my girl all day, every day… I would text her the instant I woke up, make small talk with her (via text) during the day, and send things like “goodnight beautiful” right before falling asleep… Long story short, this lasted a few months until that following Thanksgiving when she completely stopped responding to me. Not knowing why, I freaked out. So what did I do?… Well, I’m embarrassed to say that I reacted by texting her even more! 181

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Sending her texts like: “What’s wrong?” “Are you mad at me?” “Did I do something wrong?”

(These are 3 of the most cringeworthy texts a guy could ever send.) None of those ever got a response, so I decided to hand-write her a love letter, and drop it off at her front-door step. After several days of silence, she ÀQDOO\WH[WHGPHEDFNVD\LQJ´,MXVWGRQ·WVHH\RXOLNHWKDWDQ\PRUH«µ7KRVH words were like daggers to my heart. In retrospect, I am grateful for that experience because it taught me a major lesson: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Negative Space. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s not what you do when you are with her that creates obsession, it is her interpretation of those things when you are not with her. It’s the negative space between you that let’s her feelings for you blossom. So don’t be afraid to go a few days without texting her… Don’t be afraid to not respond to every text she sends you (a personal rule I have is that if I have to think for more than 10 seconds about what to reply with, then I don’t respond at all)… 'RQ·WEHDIUDLGWRHQGFRQYHUVDWLRQVÀUVW« Don’t be afraid to subtly let her know that she has some competition… And whatever you do, don’t become too predictable…

183

SECRET #73

Turn Your Failure Into Her Obsession.

H

OW DO YOU GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE?

How do you turn rejection into obsession? How can you “Get the Girl” even if you previously messed

everything up with her? 7KHDQVZHUWRDOORI WKRVHTXHVWLRQVLVVRPHWKLQJWKDW,ÀUVWOHDUQHGIURP my buddies over at TSB magazine. They coined a term called the “Blackout Phase” which takes the concept of creating negative space (Secret #72), and puts it on steroids. Here is what I mean… If you picked up this book because you want to ÀJXUHRXWKRZWRJHWMXVW21(JLUOWKDW\RX·YHKDG\RXUH\HRQWKHQWDNHDQ honest assessment of what her impression of you is… Knowing what you have OHDUQHGXSWRWKLVSRLQWRI WKHERRNGRHVVKHÀQG\RXDWWUDFWLYHRUQRW"'RHV she even know you exist? ,I \RXDQVZHUWKRVHTXHVWLRQVDQGFRPHWRÀQGWKDWVKHLVSUREDEO\QRW that into you, then this chapter will become your new best friend. The only ZD\WRFKDQJHKHUÀUVWLPSUHVVLRQRI \RXLVWROHWKHUIRUJHWWKDWLPSUHVVLRQ altogether... As a guy who is clearly trapped in the friend-zone, you MUST give her an entire 2 week blackout phase — especially if you already talk to her regularly. Each time she sees you, her impression of you becomes more set in stone. By creating negative space, that impression gets weaker. So for an entire two weeks, do not interact with her at all. 184

Turn Your Failure Into Her Obsession. If she texts you, don’t respond… If she calls you, don’t answer… If you see her every day during lunch, then eat somewhere else… For 14 whole days, do not interact with her at all. This is called the blackout phase. During that time she might even realize that you seem distant. This is good because she will start to wonder… “Is he alright?” “Is he mad at me?” “What is he up to, anyways?” And just like that, now she is thinking about you, and investing mental energy towards you. And the more energy she invests into you, the more attracted to you she becomes. This next step is key… After the blackout phase, you must make a different, and better impression of yourself. The next time you interact with her, you have to shatter her initial impression of you. This can be as simple as letting her see you with other women (which should be easy after reading this book)… This can be as simple as using any of the Secrets you’ve learned in this book to spark some tension and get her qualifying to you (this works especially well if you never did that in the past)… Or it can even be as simple as changing your fashion sense (for example, if \RXXVHGWRZHDUEDJJ\FORWKLQJ\RXQRZZHDUÀWWHGVKLUWVDQGDWLH « $OORI WKRVHZLOOVKDWWHUKHUÀUVWLPSUHVVLRQRI \RXEHFDXVH\RXJDYHKHU the chance to forget about that impression. Then when she sees you again, you have a clean slate to paint a different and more “attractive” version of yourself. 6RLI \RXHYHUÀQG\RXUVHOI LQWKHIULHQG]RQHRUDQ\]RQHWKDWGRHVQ·W involve sex) with a girl, then use this chapter immediately. It will become your best friend, and saving grace. Your sex life, and new potential girlfriend will thank you… 185

SECRET #74

Her Sexual Hot Buttons.

E

VERY GIRL HAS A HOT SPOT.

A SPOT THAT WHEN YOU KISS IT, TOUCH IT, OR GRAB

it, she gets really turned on. Knowing these hot spots, is like having the remote control to her sex drive. That said, most men fail to realize

that what makes sex amazing for a woman is the BUILDUP to sex, and not necessarily the sex itself. By knowing how to get her so turned on that she is practically begging you to have sex with her, you will instantly ramp up your sex-game. We will hit on a few of the sexual how-to’s soon, but for this attraction secret I want you to realize how important foreplay is. Knowing exactly how and where to touch her, will make any normal make-out session feel like a scene from 50 Shades of Grey. I want to give you a few of the sexual hot buttons that I’ve found to turn on most any woman. This is not a comprehensive list, and may vary from girl to JLUOVRDOZD\VEHWHVWLQJWKHVHRXWZLWKGLIIHUHQWZRPHQ2QFH\RXÀQGDIHZ that work, use them shamelessly… 1 - Pull Her Hair By The Roots. The next time you are getting close

with a girl, bring her close and ask, “Do you like having your hair pulled?” As you ask the question, without waiting for her to respond, slowly reach your KDQGXSWKHEDFNRI KHUQHFNÀUPO\JUDEWKHKDLURQWKHEDFNRI KHUKHDGE\ WKHURRWVDQGJLYHDÀUP\HWGRPLQDQWWXJ«'RQ·WMHUNKHUKHDGEDFNWKRXJK The last thing you want is to give this girl whiplash. Or you can do this when already making out with a girl. If you are already kissing her, don’t even ask. Just reach your hand up and pull her hair by the roots. 186

Her Sexual Hot Buttons. 2 - Firm Ass Grab. Women love butts. They love your butt. And they love when you touch her butt. :KHQDOUHDG\PDNLQJRXWZLWKDJLUOUHDFK\RXUKDQGGRZQDQGÀUPO\ JUDERQHRI KHUEXWWFKHHNV2QFHDJDLQWKLVJUDEVKRXOGEHDÀUPDQG dominant grab. 3 - Neck Holding. We have already talked about neck biting in previous chapters, but some women actually love having their neck held as if you were about to choke her. 7KLVPLJKWVRXQGFRQWURYHUVLDOEXWDODUJHPDMRULW\RI ZRPHQGHÀQLWHO\ PRUHWKDQZRXOGSXEOLFO\DGPLW ORYHLWZKHQDPDQÀUPO\SODFHVKLVKDQG around the front of her neck as if he was about to choke her. BUT… It is very important that you DO NOT actually choke her (unless of course, she tells you to). Some girls may even push your hand harder into her neck, while other girls will straight up tell you to choke her harder. I have even had girls start choking me to imply that they want me to choke her… Use your common sense with this one. 4 - Lower Lip Biting. Biting can always spice up a make out session. Some girls just love it when you gently bite down and tug on her lower lip, while making out with her. Biting is a physical expression of sexual tension. By biting her lower lip, she will likely get really turned on. You will know this is working if she starts biting you back, and the making out gets faster and more intense. 5 - Nipple Twisting. 7KLVLVRQH\RXGHÀQLWHO\ZDQWWRWHVWWKHZDWHUV with before going all out. Some girls absolutely love when you suck, twist, and HYHQELWHWKHLUQLSSOHV$QGVRPHJLUOVDEVROXWHO\KDWHLW%XWZKHQ\RXÀQG a girl who does love some nipple foreplay, then doing this right can be like a straight shot to her clit. 6 - Gently Slamming Her Against The Wall. Reserve this for when you start making out with a girl in private — namely, either her place or yours. While making out with her, pick her up so that her legs are wrapped around your ZDLVWDQGWKHQJHQWO\\HWÀUPO\ SXVKKHUEDFNDJDLQVWWKHZDOO
107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Then once against the wall, grab her hands hold them against the wall above her head, while making out. The women who like this, probably also like to be dominated by their men in the bedroom. This is just feminine nature. And on the contrary, if a woman doesn’t like when you do this to her, then she probably enjoys being the dominatrix in the bedroom. This might sound counterintuitive, but the dominatrixes are usually the women who seem the most submissive in the real world. And the girls who seem alpha in the real world (and probably give a lot of shit tests), are normally the most submissive in the bedroom. You will know if your girl likes any of these “hot buttons” if she either moans in pleasure, or her kissing becomes more intense and rapid.

188

SECRET #75

L`]Hgo]jg^ Hd]Yk]

A

LRIGHT, IT’S CLEAR THAT BY THIS POINT OF THE GAME THAT SHE IS PROBABLY

DWWUDFWHGWR\RX«%XWDWWUDFWLRQLVMXVWWKHÀUVWVWHS,I \RXZDQWWKLV girl this girl to be coming back for more, and even become obsessed with

you, then you must stand out in the bedroom. This tip I’m about to give you is super simple, and won’t require much H[SODQDWLRQ,I \RXWU\WKLVWKHÀUVWWLPH\RXVOHHSZLWKDJLUO,*8$5$17(( that she will come back for seconds (and thirds, and fourths). All you have to do is build up the anticipation for sex so high, that she is practically begging you to fuck her. You do this by knowing her sexual hot buttons (Secret #74), and then teasing her with the head of your penis. It’s that simple. When both of you have your pants off, and sex is about to happen, get on top, and rub your tip around her lady parts. Rub the clit, rub the opening, and only stick it in for only about an inch. Keep teasing her with it. You will be able to tell how turned on she is getting because every time you act like you are going to stick it in, she will hold her breath in anticipation. Then when you only give her the tip, she will release her breath in sexual frustration. Do this for a few minutes, and when you can tell she is really turned on, whisper into her ear “say please” in a dominant, and assertive voice tone. If you have done this right, then she will instantly start begging you to stick it in. When using this, I’ve had girls desperately beg, “Stick it in! Oh my god please, please fuck me Patrick…” This is very powerful. Just don’t become too predictable in the bedroom by XVLQJWKLVHYHU\WLPH/LNH,VDLGGHÀQLWHO\XVHWKLVWKHÀUVWWLPH\RXKDYHVH[ 189

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl with a girl, and then switch it up after that. Maybe do it every 3rd time you have sex with her (this will help you to not become too predictable in the bedroom). Making her beg for you to fuck her is easily one of the most powerful ways to attract a girl... as well as make her addicted to having sex with you.

190

SECRET #76

L`] Lahlg)(E]l`g\&

F

ACT: IF YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCK A GIRL RIGHT, SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.

I call this the “Tip to 10 Method” because it rolls off the tongue when

you say it, and thus will make this Secret easier for you to remember… This

is the ultimate method to giving a girl multiple orgasms while in the bedroom. The best part is that this will also help you last longer (if you tend to struggle with premature ejaculation). The only pre-requisite is that you have to know how to count to ten. Can you do that? (Like Secret #75, this also involves teasing her with your tip, but differs slightly) Put yourself into the mindset of a girl who is really turned on… If you have given her great foreplay, then there will be a lot of anticipation for the “moment of penetration.” With this method, you are going to give her that “moment,” but only partially… What I mean is when you stick it in, literally RQO\VWLFNLQWKHÀUVWWKLUGRI \RXUSHQLV7KHQSXOOLWRXW7KDW·V Then stick it in partially again, and pull it back out. That’s 2. $QGWKHQ\RXNHHSIXFNLQJKHUZLWKRQO\WKHÀUVWWKLUGRI \RXUSHQLVXQWLO you get to 9… On the 10th stroke, go all the way in. To summarize, that is 9 strokes with the tip, and then 1 full stroke with your full penis (this last stroke will drive her wild). Then on your second count of ten, you simply add one more full stroke… For instance, you would then go 8 partial strokes and 2 full strokes. Then on the third set of ten, 7 partial strokes and 3 full strokes. And so on… By the time you get to 10 full strokes, she will likely be close to orgasm (if 191

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl she hasn’t already orgasmed at least once). At this point you can start doing full strokes every time. Fucking her at your own pace with no more counting. For me, I like to drag this out though… So by the time I get to 10 full strokes, I’ll fuck her freely for a little bit, and then I’ll start the count over. Only this time I’ll go backwards. For example, 9 full strokes, then 1 partial stroke. 8 full strokes, then 2 partial strokes, etc. This method of sex works because she simply can’t predict what is coming next. Every moment is a surprise to her. And each time you go all the way inside of her, a jolt of pleasure will shoot through her body. Feel free to play with your pacing on this as well. Try making your partial strokes very slowly, and then do the full strokes fast and rapid. As a side note, I have never done this full sequence — forwards then backwards — all the way, without her orgasming at least once (results may vary)…

192

SECRET #77

Was This Fate?

S

OMETIMES, THE SMALLEST THINGS IN LIFE CAN SEEM LIKE THE BIGGEST

miracles… Just think about how unlikely it is that YOU were born. First off,

your parents had to meet and then have sex at the exact moment you were conceived. Then you had to beat millions of other sperm cells for the ONE egg that holds half of your DNA. YOU won that race. It’s almost like you being born was FATE. And because “fate” can make the small things in life seem like complete miracles, you can use this to attract women. Here’s what I mean… If you can make a girl believe that you and her meeting was “fate,” then you own her. She might as well start calling you her “soulmate” because that’s what the word “fate” implies. To do this, simply throw in a short monologue about how you guys almost didn’t meet. For example, if you met this girl in a bar, you could say something like… “It’s kinda crazy that I’ve met someone like you tonight. I never come to this bar. In fact, I almost didn’t even come out tonight at all! My buddy dragged me along and begged me to come out with him. What are the chances that you DQG,ZRXOGHYHQPHHWLQWKHÀUVWSODFH"«µ To her it will just feel like an interesting off hand comment. And if you’ve isolated her and have been talking for a while, then that statement could make her believe meeting you was almost like “fate.” Right after making her feel like you two were almost meant to meet, you should use this as an opportunity to put a barrier up between you (Secret #5). 193

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl For instance, after asking “What are the chances that you and I would even PHHWLQWKHÀUVWSODFH"µ3DXVHIRUDVHFRQGDQGWKHQVD\´«,I RQO\,OLYHGLQ WKLVFLW\DQGZDVQ·WÁ\LQJKRPHWRPRUURZµ By throwing in this barrier, you put her “soulmate” fantasy on steroids. First, she feels like you and her were meant to meet. Then, she feels like she can’t be with you for reasons outside of both of your control (the barrier)… This combination is enough to trigger love and obsession, right then and there. One time I used this on a cougar who had cheated on her husband with me (I didn’t know she was married until afterwards), and after we had sex I told her “It’s crazy, I almost didn’t go out tonight. It’s like a miracle that we even met… If only I were a few years older, so we could be together…” Yes, in retrospect, I realize how I was blatantly implying that she was too old for me. But trust me, it still had the intended impact. This became evident because she kept texting me later on, and asking to see me (behind her husbands back). I’m not into home-wrecking though, so I never responded…

194

SECRET #78

Benjamin Franklin Trick.

D

ID YOU KNOW THAT

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WAS A SEDUCTION MASTER?

On top of the fact that he was a notorious playboy, the guy had a NQDFNIRULQÁXHQFLQJRWKHUVDQGJHWWLQJSHRSOHWROLNHKLP,QIDFWKH

KDGDVSHFLÀFWULFNWKDWKHZRXOGXVHWRWXUQDOORI KLVKDWHUVLQWRUDYLQJIDQV I’m about to teach this trick to you (this is so powerful it should be illegal)… All he would do is ask someone (who he wanted to win over) for a small favor. Sounds simple, right? Let me elaborate… He once asked his competitor if he could borrow a small book from them, and because it was such a small favor, when the competitor lent him the book, he actually started to like Benjamin — despite their differences! The explanation lies in the fact that people are always trying to logically justify their actions. Just think back to anytime you bought something that was really expensive… Most likely you likely tried to logically convince yourself why it was a good purchase only after buying it. The same goes for Ben Franklin’s trick… By asking his competitor for a small favor (like borrowing a book) the competitor would logically tell himself “I must be doing Ben a favor because on some level I actually like him.” And because their impression about Benjamin had changed inside of their head, so did their actions towards him. They started treating Ben like a friend, rather than competition. Here’s how you can apply this to seducing a woman… The next time you are vibing with a girl, and have been talking to her for a few minutes, simply ask her to watch something for you while you go to the bathroom… Just say something like “Hey, I’m not trying to get rid of you, I promise. I actually have to go to the bathroom really quick, so can you 195

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl watch my jacket while I’m gone?” When she accepts, right before you walk away jokingly say something like, “…and you better not steal it, I know what you look like.” You could even ask her to hold your drink while you’re gone. By asking her to hold your drink, you are setting yourself up to tease her by saying, “…And \RXEHWWHUQRWSXWDQ\URRÀHVLQWKHUHHLWKHU,NQRZKRZ\RXZRPHQWKLQNµ 7KLVWULFNKDVVHYHUDOEHQHÀWV First off, while you are gone she will be holding your object… Meaning that if another dude approaches her, she now has the perfect excuse to get rid of them, “I have a boyfriend.” Every girl has used the boyfriend-excuse before to get rid of a random guy, and now she has proof — your object. So when you come back. If she is talking to another guy, her face will instantly light up with excitement to see that you’ve come back. She might also be excited for the simple fact that she doesn’t have to hold your object for you anymore. At this point, she will either tell off the other guy herself, or she will introduce you to the new guy, and he’ll assume that you and her are dating. From there, you can sit back down with your girl and continue the conversation where it left off. 7KHVHFRQGEHQHÀWLVWKDW\RXFUHDWHXQFHUWDLQW\ZLWKLQKHU« By starting off your question with “Hey, I’m not trying to get rid of you, I promise…” You plant a small seed of doubt in her head. And while you are gone, that seed will blossom as she wonders “Wait! Was that just his creative way of trying to leave me? Is he really going to come back?” Because of that small seed of doubt, she will be excited to see you return 5-10 minutes later. $QGÀQDOO\ZKLOH\RXDUHJRQH\RXUREMHFWLVDFRQVWDQWUHPLQGHU of YOU… If this is a super crowded environment, there will be a lot of distractions that can capture her attention. Even if another guy doesn’t start talking to her, there is loud music, bright lights, and a myriad of other attention grabbers… But if she has your object in one of her hands, then every time she looks at your object, she’ll be reminded that you are coming back soon. Regardless of all the distractions, she will constantly be thinking about you while you are gone! 196

Benjamin Franklin Trick. With all three of those things working in your favor, it is easy to see how this girl will quickly become invested into you. Just to give you some context of how powerful this is… I was recently at a private party in downtown San Diego where I approached a woman near the bar and started talking to her. After about 10 minutes of attraction based conversation, she liked me enough to buy a drink for me… We then talked for DQRWKHUÀYHPLQXWHVXQWLO,KDGWRXVHWKHUHVWURRP« So I asked her to hold my drink while I was gone (exactly how I’ve laid out in this chapter). She gladly did. Because this party was so packed, it literally took me about 10-15 minutes just to go to the bathroom, and return. When I returned, as predicted, she was chatting with another guy. The kicker is that she was ALSO still holding my drink in her hands. When she saw me from about 20 feet away, she instantly locked eye contact with me and smiled — shifting her attention from the random guy to me. As I walked up to her, she immediately handed the drink back to me, and said “There you are!” as if she had been waiting for me all night. I leveraged this moment to start our conversation where it left off, and block out the other guy from the conversation. I knew that he was just a random guy that had approached her because if he wasn’t, then my girl would have introduced us… Needless to say, the night turned out well for me… ;-) The next day me and this girl went to lunch, and she told me herself how well this move worked on her… She said to me, “I seriously thought you were trying to ditch me when you asked me to hold your drink. And while you were gone, I kept thinking ‘Is this guy coming back? Did he just try to ditch me? Should I drink his drink?’… And then when you returned, I was so happy just to not have to hold your drink anymore that I completely forgot about that other guy who was hitting on me…”

197

SECRET #79

Rejection Obsession.

I

HAVE A RIDDLE FOR YOU…

WHAT IS ONE WORD THAT ATTRACTIVE GIRLS RARELY

(if ever) hear from men?… Think you’ve got it? The answer may surprise you, and it is the word “No.” Not “Maybe.” Not “No?” It’s a hard “No.” With a period at the end. This is related to Secret #72 (Negative Space), but really just comes down

to not being too available. Women who are used to guys giving her a lot of attention rarely get told “no” by guys. And if a guy does tell her no, then he instantly stands out from everybody else. Here are a few situations you can start doing this in… If she asks you to hang out, sometimes say “No.” Because you already have other plans… If she asks to you do a favor that you truly don’t want to do, simply say “no.” You are not her slave… If she texts you randomly, don’t always respond… In reality, if you have a lot of things going on already in your life (which you should) then this will just come naturally to you. Like we have already established, the more you can get a girl to think about you when you are not around, the more obsessed with you she will become. By periodically rejecting her, she will start to wonder what else you have going on in your life. She will wonder if you are dating other women, and why she doesn’t have the same power over you that she likely has over other guys… 198

Rejection Obsession. Just remember that you should not be too distant. If you are too much of a challenge for her, then she will just assume that you are not interested and stop pursuing you… You don’t have to be a dictator about this either. When you reject her, feel free to offer a brief explanation if you want to. For example, if she wants to hang out and you don’t, simply follow it up with “I’ve already got plans that night.” Then offer her an alternative night… Your explanation does not have to be too detailed, and in fact it shouldn’t be. Vague explanations give her even more room to wonder about you. By offering an alternative night to hang out, you are holding your ground, while also taking the lead and showing that you are still interested.

199

SECRET #80

Put Her In Time Out.

D

O YOU REMEMBER HOW BACK IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, THE TEACHER WOULD

put you in time out whenever you were in trouble? (Ok, maybe it was just me who got put in time out a lot) Well, you can bring that same vibe to

your interactions with women. One of the best (and funnest) ways to attract a girl is by literally putting her in time out — just like your teachers used to back in elementary school. This is a playful theme that you can use at any point in your interaction with her. Think of this as the equivalent of giving her the silent treatment, but in a much more light-hearted way. So for example, if you and her are talking and she throws a shit-test at you, or teases you in any way, you can just reply by saying, “That’s it, I’m putting you in time out, missy.” As you playfully push her away from you, or turn your back to her and start talking to someone else. If she spills her drink, or accidentally breaks something, you can say “This is why we can’t have nice things! That’s it, I’m going to have to put you in time out.” If you and her are texting, and she cancels a date on you last second, teases you in any way, or does any behavior you don’t like while texting, you can reply, “That’s it. You are in text time out until next Friday.” And then you DO NOT text, or respond to her until that next Friday. (Obviously, you can choose how long you want to “put her in time out” for). By not responding to her while she is in “time out” she will most likely start texting you a lot more than normal just to get your validation back. 200

Put Her In Time Out. :KDW\RX·OOÀQGLVWKDWE\SOD\IXOO\SXWWLQJKHULQ´WLPHRXWµVKHZLOO actually start to chase you even more. This is sort of like taking a bone away from a hungry dog, but in this analogy the dog bone is the attention that you give her. People hate the feeling of losing something. So by taking your attention away from her (as a playful punishment), she will instantly value your attention more. It sounds counter-intuitive, but this works as predictably as fat ladies waiting in line at the church bake sale. Playfully putting her in time out is one of the best ways to train her to chase your validation. You can keep doing for as long as you choose to date her…

201

SECRET #81

The Soul Gaze.

O

F ALL THE

SECRETS, THIS ONE THAT HAS BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY RESEARCHED

the most… Dr. Arthur Aron did a study where he had two test subjects (a random man and a random woman) sit down and alternate asking

questions to get to know each other. These were 36 different scripted questions, all designed to get the two subjects opening up and creating a deep connection between them. Then at the end of the question-and-answer session, the two subjects were asked to sit across from each other, and stare into each others eyes for several minutes. The hypothesis was that by the end of this experiment, the feeling of “closeness” between them would mimic the feeling of “love.” What were the results?…Two of the couples who participated in the study actually went on to get married! 6RKRZFDQ\RXDSSO\WKHVHÀQGLQJVWR\RXURZQGDWLQJOLIHLQDSUDFWLFDO

way? For practicality, you do not have to sit a girl down and force her to answer 36 questions with you. Those 36 questions were only meant to get some underlying rapport with each other. Very similar to the feeling you and a girl might have if you were simply vibing, or connecting with each over a few drinks. What you should focus on, if you want to create the feelings of love (or obsession) is the eye gazing part of the experiment. To do this, make sure that she is opening up to you about herself before you do the eye gaze. The more a girl opens up to you about her and her life, the deeper the connection she will feel with you (even if you have not opened up much about yourself). 202

The Soul Gaze. The next time you and a girl are vibing with each other, or she is opening up to you a lot, say to her, “Have you ever hear of ‘soul gazing’?” 1RPDWWHUZKDWVKHVD\V\HVRUQR EULHÁ\HODERUDWHE\VD\LQJ´,W·VD really interesting game I heard of from a buddy of mine who is into all that hippy, spiritual stuff. He told me that when two people do soul gazing, it’s supposed to put them into a really happy state, almost like a high, but without doing drugs… Want to try it?” If you explain it exactly like that, 9 out of 10 times the girl will be really curious and want to know more. You then say, “Ok, there are only three rules… One, we have to be sitting directly across from each other. Two, we have to look into each others eyes — right eye, to right eye — for two whole minutes. And three, you can’t talk while doing it… Do you think you can handle that?” After explaining the rules, you simply start playing the game with her. If she is able to hold the eye contact for two full minutes, then there will likely be so much sexual tension built up that a kiss could happen right then and there. Most of the time though, holding the eye contact for two minutes will be hard for her to do because she isn’t used to feeling that much sexual tension. This LVÀQH,I VKHRQO\ODVWVVHFRQGVRUDPLQXWHGRQ·WZRUU\DQGGRQ·WSXVKKHU too hard to complete the two minutes… The strong and intense connection will have already been created. A lot of the feelings of “love” (or obsession) simply comes from all of the sexual tension that arises during the gaze. Now, I am not saying that your goal should be to make a girl “fall in love” with you. But if you do happen to play this “soul gazing” game with a girl, know what you are getting into… Both of you will likely feel an intense connection with each other that can’t be explained by words. This is a double edged sword because YOU may also develop feelings for her after doing this. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if you do this with some random girl you approached at a bar, you may just create some unwanted feelings of lust and desire. So use this with caution. Here are three great places and times to try this out: •

2QDÀUVWGDWHZKHQJHWWLQJWRNQRZDJLUO

•

Back at your place after meeting, and while hanging out with her.

•

Immediately after sex, when you guys are cuddling. 203

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl If you choose to do this after sex, you do not have to do ask her a lot of TXHVWLRQVWRJHWKHURSHQLQJXSWR\RXÀUVW)RUDJLUORSHQLQJXSKHUOHJV to you is way more intimate than opening up about her life story. That said, doing this immediately after sex could potentially turn her into a stage 5 clinger. Choose wisely who to use this on…

204

SECRET #82

E]fDa]$Oge]f
W

OMEN ARE NOT LIARS, THEY JUST COMMUNICATE DIFFERENTLY.

I FIRST READ

about this concept from the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. In that book, Deida talks about the fact that women are NOT

liars, even though they might say one thing yet mean something completely different… The way he put it, women make decisions based on emotions and how they feel in the moment, and her mood is subject to change from moment to moment. Whereas men tend to make their decisions based on logic, and not emotion. For example, if you asked a girl “Hey, do you want to get a puppy?” and she replies “No.” But then you immediately hug her, pick her up, spin her around and then say “Let’s get a puppy!” She would likely say “Ok!” With a smile on her face. As you can see, a simple shift in her emotional state can completely change her actions. So how does this apply to you? When a girl gets mad or tests a guy, he will usually try getting into a logical argument with her, and not have any luck. Maybe he tries to tell her why she is wrong, even getting emotional himself in the process — which is not good. So the next time a girl gets mad or frustrated with you, do not try to logic her out of that state. Instead, change her mood (literally) by hugging her, picking her up and spinning her around. Then watch how her state immediately changes. By putting her body into motion, in a playful and masculine way, you completely change her mood by changing her physiology. 205

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl For example, the other day I went to the grocery store with my girl and told her what I wanted to eat for dinner. She replied with test after test by saying “You always want to eat that!” and “Don’t expect me to cook for you.” Rather than coming back at her with logic, I smiled wide, reached down, picked her up, and threw her over my shoulder. Then I gave her a pat on the butt and said “Tonight, we feast like kings!” How do you think she reacted?… Immediately the complaining stopped. She started laughing, and then followed me into the store, allowing me to buy whatever food I wanted. One more example… I was recently helping one of my coaching clients and his girlfriend move into their new apartment together — they were going to be living together for WKHÀUVWWLPH$VZHPRYHGWKHLUFRXFKLQWRWKHDSDUWPHQWDQGVHWLWGRZQ the girl walked in and immediately got frustrated… She didn’t like where the couch was placed, and complained that she wasn’t getting any say into where the furniture goes. To most guys, they would hear her argument and assume that she was actually mad about the placement of the furniture. But in reality, the furniture was her way of voicing the lack of control she felt during the moving process. In that moment, my client picked her up and spun her around, then set her down and said “Trust me. Everything will be ok” (…just as I had advised him to in our coaching). In that moment, her mood shifted from being frustrated to a having faint smile. She then said “Ok, the couch can go there… but I get to choose what we eat for dinner!” Moral of the story: Do not try to change her mind, but rather change her mood. To change her mood, literally put her body into motion. Give her a big hug. Pick her up. Spin her around. Dance with her. She wants to know that you are a man who knows how to deal with her emotions that sway like tides in water…

206

SECRET #83

Be a Man on a Mission.

D

O YOU HAVE A BIG CALLING IN YOUR LIFE?…

In the book The Alchemist the main character, a boy, is on a life PLVVLRQWRYLVLWWKH*UHDW3\UDPLGVLQ(J\SWZKHUHKHKRSHVWRÀQG

buried treasure. Along this journey he experiences a lot of trials, tribulations, and setbacks. That is until he meets a great mentor, a man who he refers to as the “alchemist.” Around the same time the boy meets his mentor, he also meets a wonderful woman named Fatima, whom he falls in love with. This instantly complicated things for the boy. You see, Fatima wanted him to live out his life’s mission and continue his MRXUQH\WRÀQGWUHDVXUHEXWWKHGRZQVLGHLVWKDWVKHKDGWRVWD\EHKLQGZLWK her family. Which brings up a tough decision for the boy: Stay behind and be ZLWKWKHZRPDQKHORYHVEXWQHYHUIXOÀOOKLVOLIH·VPLVVLRQ"2UOHDYHKHUEHKLQG and continue looking the treasure, then come back to her AFTER he has succeeded?… $WÀUVWWKHER\GHFLGHGWKDWKHZDVJRLQJWRVWD\EDFNDQGEHZLWK Fatima. When the Alchemist had heard the boy’s decision, he sat the boy down and imparted some of the best dating advice I’ve ever heard… He told the boy, that if he stayed behind, he would happily get married. After a couple of years, he may even get a good job and become somewhat successful. But eventually he would start to remember the treasure he never pursued… Year after year he will always wonder “what if ?” And eventually Fatima would become unhappy because she knows, deep-down, that her man did not 207

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl live up to his full potential because of her. For the rest of his days, regardless of what he accomplishes, he will always wonder what could have been, and Fatima will feel like she caused her man to never reach his potential. So what lesson can you learn from the story about the boy, the Alchemist, and Fatima? Answer: Have a big purpose in life that you’re always working towards, and never prioritize women above it. By putting her above your own potential, you are literally choosing to be less of a man. No woman will ever admit this, but she does not want to be your number one priority. She wants to be your number two priority because, ultimately, she wants the alpha male who achieves his life purpose. She wants a real man. So what is your purpose? Do you want to be the best entertainer in the world? Cool. Then go do it. Do you want to be the most respected doctor in your town? Awesome. The hit the books. 'R\RXZDQWWRRZQDQRQSURÀW"6ZHHW7KHQVSHQGPRVWRI \RXUWLPH volunteering, and learning the ropes. :KDWHYHULWLVIRU\RX\RXPXVWÀQGLWDQGUXWKOHVVO\SXUVXHLWHYHU\ day. By doing so, you’ll become the hottest commodity that any girl would be lucky to have. Attraction will become automatic. And because she’s always your number two priority, she will never own you emotionally, you will always wear the pants in the relationship and she’ll literally become your number one fan…

208

SECRET #84

Know Your Type. Know Your Standards.

I

F

I ASKED YOU TO TELL ME EVERY DETAIL ABOUT YOUR PERFECT WOMAN, WOULD

you be able to do it? 2QHRI WKHÀUVWWKLQJV,PDNHDOOP\FOLHQWVGRLVOLVWRXWHYHU\GHWDLO

about their perfect, ideal woman. I’m not just talking brown hair, and blue eyes, either. This exercise goes much deeper than just the physical traits. You must know all of the things that make her up her personality, too. From her interests, all the way to her style. From the foods she eats, to the types of work outs she does. From her ambitions in life to the types of books she reads… All of it. If you make the mistake of not knowing what you want in a woman, then you will only attract the scraps. This is sort of like casting a big net into the middle of the ocean — you never know what you could come up with. But if \RXNQHZH[DFWO\ZKDWVRUWRI ÀVK\RXZDQWHG\RXZLOONQRZZKHUHWRÀVK ZKDWWLPHRI GD\WRÀVKDQGH[DFWO\ZKDWEDLWWRXVH*HWWKHSLFWXUH" Yes, obviously you’ll have the physical traits that you prefer, but for every physical trait that you know, you should have at least two non-physical ones to go with it. Recently one of my clients went through a terrible divorce because he PDUULHGWKHÀUVWKRWJLUOWKDWOLNHGKLP:KHQWKH\ÀUVWPDUULHGKHWKRXJKW “Yeah, maybe she’s a stripper, is completely crazy, and treats me like crap, BUT she is hot…” Do not make the same mistake that my client did. Never settle for a girl just because she looks good. 209

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl So right now, I want you to bust out a sheet of paper, and list out 10 nonphysical traits that you want in a woman… •

Does she like cats or dogs?

•

Does she do yoga or lift weights?

•

Does she read books or watch television?

•

Does she like to travel, or is she a home-body?

•

Is she super competitive or is she more of the personal assistant type?

•

Does she want kids? How many?

These are all of the things that you should be qualifying girls for as soon DV\RXPHHWWKHP$WÀUVWLWPLJKWIHHOOLNH\RXULGHDOZRPDQGRHVQ·WH[LVWEXW, SURPLVHVKHGRHV
210

SECRET #85

A Taste of Her Own Medicine.

H

AVE YOU EVER BEEN DATING A GIRL, AND HAVE HER SUDDENLY GO COLD ON

\RX"0D\EHDJLUO\RXZHUHÁLUWLQJZLWKRYHUDSHULRGRI WLPHDQGWKHQ one day she started ghosting you?

…It could have been a series of texts that she didn’t respond to. Or maybe

she passed you in the hallway without acknowledging you. Either way, she did something out of the norm, and you took notice. Most guys in these situations would start to pursue her harder. They would text her and ask if he did anything wrong, or they would go out of their way to get her attention — this is the WORST thing you can do. What you want to do in these situations is give her a taste of her own medicine. She is basically giving you the cold shoulder to see how you will react, and by playing into her game (and acting like a beta male) by pursuing her harder, you automatically lose. The only way to win in these situations is to not react emotionally at all. Meaning that if she had pulled away from you a little bit, then the best thing you can do is either pull back further, or pretend to not notice at all. A girl doesn’t go cold on a guy because she is being mean, or manipulative. It’s actually her female DNA screening to see if you are an alpha male, or beta male. Biologically, beta males are more reactive under pressure. Whereas alphas tends to be more calm and less reactive to her nonsense. By going cold on you, that is her natural way to test your “attractiveness.” Rather than taking this as a bad sign, take it as a GOOD sign. If she wasn’t RQVRPHOHYHO DWWUDFWHGWR\RXWKHQVKHZRXOGQ·WWHVW\RXLQWKHÀUVWSODFH Just think about it like this… She would never shit-test a homeless man who 211

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl approached her on the street. So if you are getting tested by a girl, it is a good sign — a sign that you have some status in her eyes. If this ever happens to you, don’t pursue her harder. In fact, don’t let her see that you are affected in any way at all. Take a step back yourself, and even start talking to other women (Secret #21). For example, if you and her happen to be at the same party, be the fun and outgoing guy with everybody. When she sees that you are having fun, and don’t care about her ignoring you, she will realize that her bullshit doesn’t affect you like it would most guys (the beta males). Or you can even build up some preselection in her eyes by posting pictures of you with other women, on your social media (this example is obviously for a girl who is not your girlfriend yet). When a girl goes cold on you, that is the perfect opportunity to be seen with other women. You may notice that she is the one who starts to chase you harder and vie for your attention. Pro-Tip: You can even do this to women you’re dating to gain the upper hand and make her chase you, BEFORE she has ever gone cold on you. Often times, if I like a girl, I’ll purposefully distance myself from her a little bit, just to get her chasing me harder. I’ll do this using social media, and the stories I tell (Secret #24) to make it seem like she might have some competition. The reason I tend to only do this to the women who I like is because, often times, she will respond by wanting to become “exclusive.” This is reverse SV\FKRORJ\DWLW·VÀQHVW«

212

SECRET #86

Selective Anger.

T

O ATTRACT WOMEN, YOU HAVE TO SPARK EMOTIONS.

BUT ONE COMMON

misconception is that to make a woman attracted to you, you have to be the source of “fun and positive” emotions only. And because of this

MYTHPHQZKRÀUVWOHDUQGDWLQJDGYLFHEHFRPHIXQDQGFKDOOHQJLQJRUFRFN\ and funny around women… and that’s it! But this is #RawDatingAdvice, so we roll a little differently here. I’m not afraid to tell you that if you ONLY give her good emotions, you are fucking up. While “fun and challenging” might work, it is surface level — just a small piece of the emotional pie. 7KHW\SHRI DWWUDFWLRQWKDWWKRVHHPRWLRQVFUHDWHLVÁHHWLQJDQG momentary (which is why we covered it in the “Intrigue” section of this book). They are great for getting creating intrigue and attraction early on, but let’s be honest… Nobody can exude fun and positivity all the time, especially if you are with this girl for longer than just one night. If you are the type of guy who has ever struggled to keep a girl interested in you for longer than a few weeks at a time, then it’s probably because you limit your natural personality by always trying to give her positive emotional experiences. This is simply not a practical strategy to keeping women in your life. Let me ask you a question… Have you ever seen a really hot girl in a relationship with a guy who she fought with all the time? And even though they fought, they would always stay together — often times with the girl becoming obsessed with the guy? The reason this happens is because this guy offers her the FULL range of emotions. If you imagine all of the emotions a man can make a woman 213

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl feel, “fun and challenging” and “cocky-funny” will only make her feel a small percentage of those emotions. The guy who women become obsessed with makes them feel a large variety of emotions. Yes the positive one, but also the negative ones. The best thing you can do to make a woman obsessed with you (especially if you suffer from “nice guy syndrome”) is to periodically make her feel some of the negative emotions. This turns her relationship with you into an emotional UROOHUFRDVWHUUDWKHUWKDQDÁDWURDG :KDWVRXQGVPRUHIXQWR\RXUROOHUFRDVWHUVRUÁDWURDGV" That is why I recommend selective anger. Here’s a personal example… Not too long ago, I was in Dental School, and I was sleeping with one of the hottest girls in my class. For the purposes of this story, let’s call her Kathy. Well on one Friday night, a lot of us had gone out to a local nightclub to let off some steam after one of our big exams. While at this club, I was standing RQWKHHGJHRI WKHGDQFHÁRRUDQG,PDGHH\HFRQWDFWZLWK.DWK\IURPDFURVV the room. I then gestured for her to “come over” to me, motioning with my ÀUVWWZRÀQJHUV$VVRRQDV,JHVWXUHGIRUKHUWRFRPHWRPHVKHPDGHDELJ scene out of it… She acted shocked. She looked around at all of her friends to see if they just saw what I just did — as if me telling her to come over to me was SO absurd… She slowly made her way across the room towards me, acting surprised that I would even want her to come over to me. (She probably did this because not a lot of people knew that we were sleeping together, and she wanted to keep it a secret). When I saw her reaction my mood instantly shifted from “happy-go-lucky,” to “what the fuck is this girl doing right now?!”«$QGZKHQVKHÀQDOO\PDGHKHU way over to me, I gave her a stern look and said, “What the hell was that?! Nevermind, I don’t even want to talk to you anymore…” Then I walked off RQWRWKHGDQFHÁRRUWRGDQFHZLWKP\IULHQGVDQGVWDUWHGKDYLQJIXQDJDLQ almost like nothing happened... She didn’t say much to me the rest of the night… That is, until she walked out of the club at the same time as me, hopped in the same Uber as me, and escorted herself back to my bedroom. **insert mischievous smirk here** 214

SECRET #87

One Question Obsession.

T

HIS ONE QUESTION SLIDES RIGHT UNDER ANY WOMAN’S RADAR AND MAKES HER

obsessed with you (almost to the point of love). It uses a psychology FRQFHSWFDOOHG&RPPLWPHQW&RQVLVWHQF\³DFRQFHSWÀUVWSRSXODUL]HGE\

Robert Cialdini in his book ,QÁXHQFH. Imagine that you are in Las Vegas trying to decide which sports team you want to bet on — either Team A or Team B. Vegas has it at a dead-even match, and there is no way to decide which team truly is the better bet. But because you’re a gambling man, you randomly choose Team B… According to the law of commitment-consistency, no matter which team you choose, you will immediately start to believe that you made the right choice. In other words, before you had some skin in the game you didn’t know who would win, but as soon as you put your money on Team B, your FRQÀGHQFHLQ7HDP%·VDELOLW\WRZLQLPPHGLDWHO\ZHQWXS6LPSO\SXWPDNLQJ a “commitment” towards Team B made your beliefs “consistent” with that commitment. Interesting, huh? :HOOZKDW·VHYHQPRUHLQWHUHVWLQJLVWKDWZKHQ,ÀUVWUHDGDERXWWKLV concept, I started experimenting with how I could apply this to seduction. One of the most obvious ways of using this is by qualifying a woman — something we’ve already covered extensively in this book. But then… I discovered ONE question that uses commitment-consistency so well, that it can quickly make any girl I used it on obsessed with me… If you ask this question to a girl at the right time, then she may even start to convince herself that she is in LOVE with you… Are you ready for this? 215

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl The next time there is a good vibe between you and your girl, I want you to pause the conversation at a high note and ask her this question: “So… Why are you so attracted to me?” -XVWPDNHVXUHWRVD\WKLVZLWKDFRQÀGHQWDOPRVWEUHDNLQJUDSSRUW tonality. Almost like you already know she’s attracted to you, and just to boost your own ego, you are curious to hear why… The reason why this works is because our brains have a hard time at NOT answering any questions that you ask it. For example: What is your name? What city were you born in? What makes you so awesome? I can almost guarantee that when you were reading those questions to yourself, your mind (on some level) recited the answer to itself — this happens with all questions. Even if you brain can’t come up with an obvious answer, it will still attemptWRÀQGWKHDQVZHU In fact, according to self-image psychology, people with a negative selfimage are likely that way because of the questions they constantly think to themselves (i.e. “why does this always happen to me?” or “why can’t I ever catch a break?”)… Well, when you ask your girl questions, the same things happens. And when she starts to answer the question I just gave you, what she’s actually doing is logically justifying her attraction for you. Attraction is an emotional process — by now you know this. But when a girl is both emotionally AND logically attracted to you, she quickly becomes obsessed because her “commitment” is made towards you. From then on, all of her thoughts, words and actions will tend to stay “consistent” with that commitment. Just think back to the last time you made any big purchase in your life — a book, an online product, a trip to Hawaii — I guarantee that when you initially entered your credit card information, you were doing so because you were in an emotional state. But as soon as the payment went through, you tried to logically tell yourself how great of a purchase it was. That is exactly what this one question does when you ask it to your girl. 216

One Question Obsession. Here is a quick list of some perfect times to ask her this question… •

When there is a silence in the conversation, and you guys are holding strong eye contact…

•

In the middle of a make-out session, right after you pull back from the NLVVÀUVW«

•

Immediately after sex, while you guys are cuddling…

•

In the silence that comes right after she laughs at one of your cheesy jokes…

•

5LJKWDIWHU\RXUÀUVWNLVV

You may notice that each of the times I just listed are HIGH NOTES in the conversation. A time where she is clearly giving you signs that she is attracted to you — setting the proper context for the question. Just make sure WKDW\RXDVNKHUZLWKDFRQÀGHQWYRLFHWRQHVRWKDWWKLVTXHVWLRQGRHVQRWFRPH across as self-deprecating, and insecure. Your voice tone should seem like you are thinking, “Girl, I already know you’re attracted to me, I just want to hear you say it out loud for my own entertainment.” You’ll know you have the right tonality if she blushes, giggles, RUJHWVÁXVWHUHG Use this wisely, my friend. You are laying down the foundation for this girl to become absolutely obsessed with you. Which, for the purposes of this book, can be a great thing…

217

Section IV: Guest Secrets ,QWKLVVHFWLRQ\RXDUHJRLQJWRÀQGWKH$WWUDFWLRQ6HFUHWVIURPVRPHRI  my friends in the dating industry — each one of them a respected expert in WKHLUÀHOG You’ll hear from experts on fashion, online dating, text messaging, and even a female dating coach for men. For each expert, I have recounted 5 of their top attraction secrets, revealed in my interviews with them. Enjoy their IUHVKSHUVSHFWLYHVDQGPDNHQRWHRI VRPHFRPPRQWKHPHV\RXÀQGEHWZHHQ their secrets and mine.

RYAN MAGIN

L`] @Yf\kge]?mq=ph]jl WEBSITE: www.RyanMaginIcon.com INSTAGRAM: @RyanMagin YOUTUBE: Youtube.com/RyanMaginDotCom

R

YAN

MAGIN IS THE CLASSIC RELUCTANT EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO FASHION. IN

my interview with him, he said “I didn’t get into fashion, fashion got into me.” It wasn’t until a girlfriend broke up with him, that he started seriously

getting into fashion himself. As you will see, once he made the decision to upgrade his fashion sense, everything in his life started to fall into place. He made more money, he got more respect from others, and he got exponentially more attention from women. Pretty soon, other guys started coming to him for advice on which clothes to buy. This is when Ryan’s fashion advice business took off, and he quickly gained a reputation for being the “Handsome Guy Expert.” 7KHVHGD\V\RXFDQÀQG5\DQVSHDNLQJDWPHQ·VIDVKLRQFRQIHUHQFHV around the world, dressing professional athletes for Draft day, or teaching his top clients how to become social media ICON’s with followers that are willing to pay for their advice. SECRET #88: REINVENT YOURSELF. “People make snap judgements about you based on your style… I was giving off the vibe of ‘fuck the world, let’s rob a convenience store,’ when I should have been conveying that I’m a ÀJXUHHQWUHSUHQHXUµ

219

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Ryan Magin may be known as the Handsome Guy Expert today, but he informed that he hasn’t always the well-dressed guy. At the beginning of my interview with Ryan, he told me that he only became interested in fashion after a tough breakup with his girlfriend, who had a business-oriented fashion sense — completely the opposite of Ryan. In his words, “We were together for a while, but I still had this real angry and rebellious vibe going [referring to his style]… I had the emo-hair, where my hair would cover my eye, and sometimes I would even color my hair black. I wore cutoff shorts with skater shoes, my shirts didn’t have sleeves… I took the whole rebel, fuck-you attitude to a whole other level…” Long story short, his girlfriend broke up with him because when they would go out, he would never have anything to wear. And when they split, he took it as a major slap-in-the-face to his fashion sense. For Ryan, this was a wake-up call. Rather than moping around, he took this as an opportunity to totally reinvent himself. To do this he went online, did tons of research, and watched a lot of YouTube videos on how to dress well. It wasn’t long before he bought a few QHZRXWÀWVIRUKLPVHOIDQGVWDUWHGVHHLQJSRVLWLYHUHVXOWVULJKWDZD\ “I was wearing nice jeans, some dress boots, a white v-neck, and a navy EOD]HU7KDWZDVWKHPRVWEDVLFRXWÀW%XWZKHQ,ZHQWWRWKHVDPHEDUVWKDW I always went to before, the bartenders that knew me were now treating me EHWWHU7KH\ZRXOGDVNPHZKDWGULQNV,ZDQWHGÀUVWDQGLQWURGXFHPHWR people [at the bar]… I just thought ‘Woah, this is different.’ Later on in the evening, girls would just come up and say hi to me… That was the when I realized I should really delve into this style stuff.” A lot of times, when reinventing yourself, you might feel out of your comfort zone… In many ways, my story is very similar to Ryan’s story. I know IRUP\VHOIWKHFRQFHSWRI DWWUDFWLQJZRPHQZDVFRPSOHWHO\QHZWRPH$WÀUVW I was afraid to challenge or tease a girl because I had never done it before. But after trying it a few times, and getting a few positive results, I was hooked. For Ryan, his results with women were instantl Rather than having to approach girls, they would approach him. Regardless of how good his “game” ZDVÀQGLQJZRPHQWRVOHHSZLWKKLPEHFDPHDORWHDVLHU7RKLPWKLVEHFDPH 220

The “Handsome Guy” Expert some sort of a game. A game that revolved around his fashion sense… “Whatever I wore, would directly correlate with the type of girl that went home with me… If I wore a decent suit, really attractive and successful girls would hit on me. If I had rocker-style vibe, I would get the tattooed girls... So then I would try to combine the two styles and see what kind girl I could get then. It became like a game for me.” After about 8 months of reinventing himself, Ryan and his ex-girlfriend had reconnected with each other. Due to his new identity and upgraded fashion sense, he immediately got her attention. The “new” Ryan was a major pattern interrupt to her, and actually helped them to get back together (for more on the power of “pattern interrupts” see Secret #73). Years later, Ryan and his girlfriend are happily still dating, and have a daughter together. SECRET #89: THE HALO EFFECT. “I never had to approach women… Maybe I’d say hello as she passed by, then she would scan me up and down, see that I was well dressed and come back to talk to me later on… My style made it really easy.” The “Halo Effect” is a term originally coined by Robert Cialdini in his book ,QÁXHQFH&LDOGLQLGHÀQHVLWE\VD\LQJ´$KDORHIIHFWRFFXUVZKHQRQH positive characteristic of a person dominates the way that person is viewed by others. And the evidence in now clear that physical attractiveness is often such a characteristic. Research has shown that we automatically assign to good-looking individuals such fable traits as talent, kindness, honesty, and intelligence.” This is why Ryan’s results from women were instant. His personality didn’t FKDQJHPXFK7KHRQO\WKLQJWKDWFKDQJHGZDVWKHÀOWHUSHRSOHVWDUWHGYLHZLQJ him through. When he dressed like he was successful, others assumed he had his life in order and probably had a lot of money. As a result, they treated him with more respect. Just think back to your own life… How many times have you known someone who could seemingly get away with anything just because people liked them. Chances are that person had the Halo Effect working in their favor. 221

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl The bright side is that triggering the Halo Effect is not hard, and does not solely rely on your physical attributes. They can be created simply by being welldressed. Just keep in mind that your vibe will attract your tribe. As Ryan alluded to, when reinventing himself, the way he dressed directly correlated with the type of women he would attract. According to Ryan, the only problem is… “Guys just don’t give a shit. They think that their personalities are going to get them through life. That may be true in some circles, but in the real world that shit doesn’t work.” Guys should put more effort and thought into how they dress. Women may take anywhere from 45 to 60 minutes just to get ready to go out. As a guy, \RXGRQ·WKDYHWRWDNHDVPXFKWLPHDVZRPHQEXWLI \RX·UHRQO\WDNLQJÀYH PLQXWHVWRWKURZRQDQRXWÀWZLWK]HURWKRXJKWWKHQ\RXPLJKWEHPLVVLQJ out on the halo effect. The next time you are about to go out, pause, and think ´:KDWLVP\RXWÀWFRQYH\LQJDERXWP\SHUVRQDOLW\"µ Also keep in mind some of the basics about color. For example, red will convey “power,” and blue will convey “trustworthiness.” This is why you always see politicians wearing red and blue ties. White is a color that conveys “authority,” which is why doctors are constantly portrayed wearing white coats. People are constantly making snap judgements about you, regardless of if they want to or not. Every time Ryan dresses a client of his, triggering the Halo Effect is one of his main goals. “I’m just going to put you in a position to where if a girl does say hi to you, you’re not gonna fuck it up by how you look.” On a side note, when you look good, you feel good. Your posture, positivity, and overall attitude will change for the better, simply by being proud of the way you look. SECRET #90: FIT IS EVERYTHING. “Ten dollars at a tailor can make you look like Brad Pitt. You can literally tailor anything.” Invest in a good tailor. Plain and simple advice. As the interview was coming to a close, Ryan made sure to throw in this quick tip because he found it super important to attracting women. 222

The “Handsome Guy” Expert He said, “Guys should get a tailor. It doesn’t cost a lot. And that was a PLVFRQFHSWLRQWKDW,KDGZKHQ,ÀUVWVWDUWHG«
Style is the one thing you can do that gets an instant result, without having to lose a ton of weight.

•

Bigger guys should stick to dark colors (black and dark grey), as they tend to be more slimming.

•

$ZHOOÀWWLQJEOD]HUJRHVJUHDWZLWKPRVWRXWÀWVDQGDUHGHVLJQHGWR create a v-taper. They also do a great job at hiding most of that extra weight.

•

The worst thing an overweight person can do is dress baggier to hide the weight. Baggy clothes make you look like Spongebob Squarepants.

•

$JUHDWJRWRRXWÀWIRUELJJHUJX\VLVDÀWWHGGUHVVVKLUWEOD]HUDQG straight or slim jeans. Always keep in mind the V-taper.

SECRET #91: STREET SHARP. ´,I \RXPHW5REHUW'RZQH\-ULQDEDUDQGKHVDLG¶+H\PDQ,ZDQW\RXWRÁ\WR9HJDV with me, right now on my private jet, for two days’… Is what you’re wearing right now VRPHWKLQJWKDW\RXFRXOGZHDULQ/DV9HJDVDQGVWLOOJHWLQWRDOOWKHFOXEV"µ 223

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl “Street Sharp” is a term coined by Ryan to describe the type of style he always recommends to guys. It combines the casualness of being comfortable walking down the street, with the sharpness to get into any nightclub. One VLPSOHOLWPXVWHVWWKDW5\DQDOZD\VJLYHVDQ\RXWÀWLVWKH´&OXE5HDG\µWHVW« The club ready test is exactly what it sounds like. If you were to wear \RXUFXUUHQWRXWÀWWRDQLJKWFOXEZRXOGWKHERXQFHUOHW\RXLQWRWKHFOXEZLWK ]HURLVVXHV7KLVPHQWDOLW\DOUHDG\HOLPLQDWHVDORWRI WKHRXWÀWVWKDWJX\VWHQG WRZHDU1RJRRGQLJKWFOXEZLOOOHWJX\VLQLI WKH\DUHZHDULQJÁDWELOOHGKDWV VSRUWVMHUVH\VÁLSÁRSVJUDSKLFWHHV$LU-RUGDQVHWF,I \RXZDQWWREHPRUH handsome, you should already intuitively know what clothes to eliminate with this test. Hypothetically, if Robert Downey Jr. hit you up and invited to you to party with him in Las Vegas, with the only catch being you had to wear your current RXWÀWDOOZHHNHQGKRZZRXOG\RXPDNHWKDWKDSSHQ")RU5\DQKHPHQWDOO\ ZHQWWKURXJKWKHRXWÀWKHZDVZHDULQJDWWKHWLPHDQGFDPHXSZLWKDJDPH plan for this Las Vegas example… “Maybe tomorrow during the day I just won’t wear the jacket. Maybe jeans are good, and my shoes are good for the next few days. Maybe I’ll just run by the mall real quick so I can get a button-up shirt… I could essentially wear the same shit for two days and nobody will know it. I’ll still get into every top nightclub in Vegas, and I’ll be able to walk around casually during the day.” The method to accomplishing “street sharp” is different for pretty much everyone, and can vary depending on your own personal taste, your body type, and what colors look best on you. But Ryan does have what he calls the “handsome guy uniform” because it is a great starting point for any guy who is looking to upgrade his style. “For most guys it’s a dark pair of jeans, and a light pair of jeans. A dress pair of boots, and a casual pair of shoes. A multitude of solid colored t-shirts and v-necks. And then a blazer, and a badass leather or denim jacket… Dude, that is all you need.” With just six or seven items, and spending $300-400 you will be set for six months to a year. This just goes to show that it will not take a ton of money to upgrade your wardrobe. 224

The “Handsome Guy” Expert “It doesn’t take a lot of money to dress well. You can have a nice jacket IURP+XJR%RVVEXWWKDWGRHVQ·WQHFHVVDULO\PHDQLWZLOOÀWDQ\EHWWHUWKDQWKH same jacket from H&M, for a lot cheaper. Just know that the higher dollar item will likely last longer, and you could have it for the next ten years.” SECRET #92: ONE LEVEL ABOVE (OR BELOW). “When it comes to going out in your region, or area, take a mental note of how people dress, and what the average dress is…” Always going “one level above” is one of the core philosophies that Ryan teaches to all of his clients. Due to differences in climate, temperature, and culture, what is seen as “stylish” in one place may be completely different in another… “What is the average dress for your area? If you are in New York City, the average dress will be a lot different than if you were in St. Petersburg Florida… If in the best nightclub in your area, the average guy wears dark jeans, a button up, and dress shoes… Then go one level above that. You might wear dark jeans, a tailored dress shirt, nice boots, and a blazer. You never overdo it, you just go one level above.” In this case the “one level above” comes from the fact that \RXUFORWKHVDUHÀWWHGDQG\RXDGGHGWKHEOD]HUWR\RXURXWÀW In very rare cases, where the average dress is already very stylish, the opposite of this rule should be used. For instance, if you were in a place like NYC where everybody wears 3-piece suits on average, Ryan recommends going “one level below” the average dress, to stand out and still be stylish. The point is to stand out from the crowd, while still having a good sense of fashion. “[In a place like New York City] Unless you really know what you are doing, and you’re already wearing 3-piece suits, and you’re killing it with your tailored game, I always urge you to go one level below… If everybody at the bar is wearing a suit, with their peacoats and everything tailored. Then when you’re the guy who shows up wearing a leather jacket, a tie and jeans, you’re going to stand out.”

225

MARNI KINRYS

The WingGirl Method WEBSITE: www.WingGirlMethod.com INSTAGRAM: @WingGirlMethod YOUTUBE: Youtube.com/MarniKinrys

M

ARNI IS A FEMALE DATING COACH FOR MEN, AND HAS BECOME A REALLY

good friend of mine over the years. I brought her in for an interview to offer some insights into attracting women, from a woman’s perspective.

You may know Marni because she is the founder of the “WingGirl Method,” and host of the Ask Women podcast. She has also been featured in places like Playboy, Penthouse, Men’s Health, Fox News, Zoosk and MTV. She has spent the last decade helping thousands of men go from “Mr. 1LFH*X\µWR´0U+RO\6 7,:DQW+LPµ7KHQH[WIHZSDJHVKLJKOLJKWÀYH of her key secrets to attracting women… SECRET #93: O.S.A. “OSA… The WingGirl Method’s method for starting conversation.” One of the most common hangups for men is that they don’t know how

to start a conversation with a girl, let alone carry the conversation. On top of that, when guys do approach and start talking to women, they make the mistake of going into interview mode — which BORES women. What impression do you think women get when you have nothing better to say than asking for her name, where she works, and where she is from? Most likely she’ll write you off as a guy who is uninteresting, and has nothing to offer. Interview mode takes zero skill, and makes you blend in with 226

The WingGirl Method every other guy she’s ever met. In our interview, Marni revealed her secret formula to approaching any girl and starting conversation in an attractive way… “I like to use a method that I call OSA, which is the WingGirl Method’s method for starting conversation. It stands for Observe, Share, and Ask…. If you have 30 seconds in an elevator, just make an observation, share a little bit about why or where that observation came from, and then ask her an open-ended question to pull her into the conversation.” This might sound tricky to do, but it is really not. In fact, when you are present to the moment, and are genuinely curious about the environment you are in, then OSA is something you’ll naturally do. I’ll give you an example… 1RWWRRORQJDJR,ZDVLQ+ROO\ZRRG&$IRUWKHÀUVWWLPHWRDWWHQGD PDUNHWLQJFRQIHUHQFH7KHÀUVWQLJKW,ZDVWKHUH,ZHQWZLWKDIHZEXGGLHV to one of the bars in town, and I immediately noticed something odd… With the exception of myself and my friends, almost every person (guy or girl), was wearing a black leather jacket. Thus almost every conversation I started with the women I “approached” that night went something like this, “Hey, do you know why every person in KHUHLVZHDULQJDEODFNOHDWKHUMDFNHW"7KLVLVP\ÀUVWWLPHWR+ROO\ZRRG'LG, miss the memo or what?” One girl I talked to that night instantly replied, “What? Nobody is wearing a leather jacket.” So I responded, “Oh Really? How bout this… If I can point out 5 people wearing a black leather jacket right now, then you owe me a drink.” She agreed, we shook on it, I held that strong eye contact, with a sly grin on my face, and long story short, she ended up buying me a shot of Patron. In that conversation I made an observation because I was curious about the black leather jackets. Then I threw in the quick statement to share why WKHREVHUYDWLRQZDVUHOHYDQWWRWKHFXUUHQWPRPHQW´7KLVLVP\ÀUVWWLPHWR Hollywood.” Finally, to bring the her into the conversation, I asked the openended question “Did I miss the memo or what?” According to Marni, this works anywhere, and anytime you approach a girl — especially in social places where women tend to get hit on a lot. OSA helps you to get her invested in the conversation before being direct about your interest in her. 227

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl SECRET #94: GAUGING FOR INTEREST. “Don’t wait for her to test you, or give any signs of attraction. You can take control of the interaction by testing her, and seeing what her reaction is.” Another sticking point that guys have is that they waste their time trying WRORRNIRUVLJQVRI DWWUDFWLRQ
The WingGirl Method risks in sparking some tension. Neutral responses just mean that you are on the right path, but it is still early for her. SECRET #95: HAVE PRESENCE. “The problem with being trapped inside your head is that you don’t allow yourself to really be the YOU that you are.” At one point in my interview with Marni, we talked about having scripted lines versus just being natural in your conversation. During this back-and-forth, I had brought up an example of how some guys go into “seduction” mode and become a different person altogether when talking to women. These guys will be one way around their friends, but put on a facade around women. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but only becomes an issue when you are forcing your personality around her. Forcing anything will trap you in your head, and take you out of the present moment… “When you stop getting trapped in your head, you can actually open your eyes and start seeing other people. Then you can start making observations about them. Then you can start making associations. Then you have really interesting, fascinating conversations with people because you’re coming from a curious place.” Having presence allows you to relate to people on a deeper level because of your increased awareness to the people and things around you. Allow all the tiny things you notice about people and your environment to spark your curiosity. When you do this, your conversations with people instantly become more interesting and unique. SECRET #96: USE “LINES” BUT DON’T RELY ON THEM. “Initially lines work really well. But once you run out of lines, then you don’t have anything else to say…” Should you memorize lines, and routines to attract women? ,ZLOOEHWKHÀUVWWRDGPLWWKDWZKHQ,ÀUVWJRWLQWR´JDPHµ,KDGWRNHHS a few memorized lines in my back pocket. They were lifesavers I used anytime I 229

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl knew a conversation needed an emotional spike, or that I needed to attract her quickly. Initially I saw a lot of success because these lines were allowing me to get different responses out of women than I was used to. The issue is that once I had used all of my lines, my ability to keep the conversation interesting went out WKHZLQGRZ0\OLQHVZHUHXVHGXSDQGVRZDVWKHFRQÀGHQFH,KDGLQDQ\WKLQJ I had to say. As Marni said in our interview, “Initially lines work really well. But once you run out of lines, then you don’t have anything else to say… The old school ‘pickup’ stuff really does work well… She might be thinking ‘Oh, this guy is really interesting. These are some really interesting questions that you are asking me.’ It just sucks when later on down the road he’s got nothing else left in his back pocket that is his own. That is when canned material bites him in the ass.” I could not have said it better myself. To level up my own game, and get even better results with women, I had to drop the lines. I found that it’s much better to understand the fundamentals of what makes certain lines work, tailor them to the situation you are in, and even allow yourself to come up with your own lines on the spot.
The WingGirl Method If you are talking to women in a social environment, keep in mind that other girls are noticing how those women are responding to you. This is when preselection will either work for, or against you. For example, if the girl is rejecting you but smiles when she does it, nobody else can hear what she is saying. All people will notice is the body language, and how you guys are responding to each other. If you walk away with a smile on your face as well, then other women will assume that you probably know that girl. Therefore, if you ever get rejected, or a girl tells you the “I have a boyfriend” line, then make a joke and continue the conversation for as long as you want… If another girl can clearly tell that you just got rejected, then she will not be as open to talking to you when you approach her. Women notice the small things. That said, often times if I’m chatting with a girl who tells me that she has a boyfriend, I try to leverage it to my advantage… By staying in the interaction and being fun regardless of the fact that she may (or may not) be single, things could still work out for me. A lot of times, if she actually is in a relationship she might say something like “I really do have a boyfriend, but you are cool. I want to introduce you to my really cute, single friend!”

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ROB JUDGE

Magnetic Messaging WEBSITE: www.DateHotterGirls.com INSTAGRAM: @bobby3.2 FACEBOOK: Facebook.com/RobJudgeDHG

R

OB JUDGE IS A TRUE LEGEND WHEN IT COMES TO THE ART (AND SCIENCE) OF

texting women. He is the author of Magnetic Messaging, the #1 best-selling book on texting women, and co-author of Unlock Her Legs, which has

helped thousands of guys escape of the friend-zone. These days, most of the FRDFKLQJKHGRHVUHYROYHVDURXQGFUHDWLQJJUHDWSURÀOHVIRUJX\VRQGDWLQJDSSV like Tinder and Bumble. SECRET #98: AVOID TEXTUAL GRABASS. “She feels rejected when you don’t make the move, and just rationalizes that you weren’t interested. So she moves on…” Too many guys struggle to pull the trigger and ask the girl out. One of the

biggest mistakes when texting a girl, according to Rob, is that they’ll text her all day long and never ask her to meet him in person. While it’s sometimes ok to have conversations with a girl via text, you should always keep in mind that it is not a replacement to in-person interactions. By never asking her to hang out, she will either assume you are too nervous, or not interested. According to Rob, “Girls don’t want to feel rejected either. It is the guys’ job to make the move, not hers. She feels rejected when you don’t make the move, and just rationalizes that you weren’t interested. So she moves on…” 232

Magnetic Messaging This is something that Rob refers to as “textual grabass” because it never leads to anything. It is playing not-to-lose rather than playing to win. Use texting purely as a way to get her more interested to see you in person. By being the guy who has the balls to ask her out, you are making your intentions known. Regardless of if you think she’ll say yes or not, Rob has some interesting advice about this… “A rule I’ve adopted — that is a little ballsy, but it’s worked pretty well for me — is I always try to kiss a girl, ask her out, or invite her back to my apartment sooner than I think she’ll say yes. In fact, I like it when they say no. Here’s why… Because I want to let her see me NOT get butt-hurt when I get rejected. I want her to see that when she rejects me, I don’t see it as rejection, I see it as not yet.” Sometimes women will even reject a guy just to see how he reacts. Does he get dejected, or is he completely unaffected? Either way, she will notice. You should persist by asking her out again in the near future, and not show any signs that her previous rejection affected you in any way. By adopting Rob’s “not yet” mentality, you will seem like a guy who has options and doesn’t need her approval. SECRET #99: BE IDIOSYNCRATIC. “If a guy texts her the typical ‘Hey, what’s up! How’s your day going?’ Just know that every person in her phone could be texting her that.” Be idiosyncratic by having a style that is unique to you. An “idiosyncrasy” is basically any joke, humor, or thing you do that makes your interactions with her unique. Keep in mind that any attractive girl will likely have a lot of other guys texting her to hang out too. So your idiosyncrasies will help you to stand out from the crowd. The way Rob puts it, “if a guy texts her the typical ‘Hey, what’s up! How’s your day going?’ Just know that every person in her phone could also be texting her that.” Most guys are too boring, and don’t make any effort to be different than any other guy. Or they water down their personalities just to avoid negative judgement. 233

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl Rob gave the example… If she lost all of her contacts, and was going back through her texts to try to see who they are, she should be able to take one look at your conversation with her and immediately know that it’s you. So how do you do this? 5REUHFRPPHQGVWKDW\RXWH[WKHUDQ\WKLQJ\RXÀQGIXQQ\RUHQWHUWDLQLQJ
Magnetic Messaging items you’ve received from those ambitions. Highlight reels show events that are outside of your norm, whereas movie previews hint towards the highlights. Highlight reels brag and seem try-hard, movie previews tell stories. Girls want the movie preview, which makes them curious to see how the movie ends. “Bragging almost always works against you. For instance, when I meet a guy who tells me ‘Rob, you’re not going to believe how hot this girl that I hooked up with last night is!’ In my mind I know the fact you have to TELL me about her means that hot women are not a part of your normal reality…” Judge went further by saying, “My whole purpose on Tinder is to just JLYHKHUHQRXJKLQIRUPDWLRQWRZDQWWRPHHWPHRXWIRUDGDWH«
107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl himself, he might say to her, “Oh my God, look what you made me do. You are so cute that I’m literally stuttering while trying to talk to you…” This shows that being nervous around women is so OUTSIDE of your reality that you have no problem pointing it out. And because you are not afraid to point out your vulnerabilities, she will assume that you are normally a suave, charismatic guy. “Sometimes, if a girl has a funny or witty comeback to something I said, I’ll say to her ‘Wow, that was excellent. I have no good response to that. Well played.’ As I playfully give her a little golf clap… A high value guy can compliment people, and he can even admit when a girl has a better line or comeback than him.” SECRET #102: THE 5 CORE PROFILE PICTURES. “Most girls actually do go through your pictures, especially after you guys match…” $FFRUGLQJWR5RE-XGJHHYHU\JUHDWRQOLQHSURÀOHKDVDWOHDVWWKUHHRI  these 5 core pictures… The “You-Have-Your-Shit-Together” Picture. In this picture, you need a good view of your face, and a non-distracting background.
Magnetic Messaging The “Compassion” Picture. According to Rob, a good picture of you with a puppy, cute baby or small animal can boost the attractiveness of your SURÀOH7KHVHVRUWVRI SLFWXUHVLPSO\WRZRPHQWKDW\RXDUHVDIHWUXVWZRUWK\ and nurturing. 7KHVHDUHJRRGWUDLWVWKDWDZRPDQZDQWVWRVHHLQ\RXURQOLQHSURÀOH and can increase your chances of actually seeing her in-person. To a lot of guys, taking a picture of you holding a puppy, or kissing a baby might sound cheesy, but don’t knock it until you try it. Having a good Compassion picture implies that you are a well-adjusted man in society. The last thing she wants is to meet up with a guy who lacks empathy, or compassion for others. The “Social” Picture. Much like the concept of preselection (where women conclude your attractiveness based on how other women respond to you), make sure you have a picture that shows you have friends, and people in your life. In general, guys who play video games all day, and never leave the house, will seem less attractive than the guys who lead great social lives. This is especially true when your pictures are all she can build her impression of you from. This does not mean you need to take a picture with a group of ten gorgeous supermodels. Nor does it mean that you should have a picture of you at your bible study group. Have a good picture of you and a few of your friends at a social outing — one that she might like to attend as well. For example, if you like to drink beer, then show you and your buddies having fun at a beer festival. Sometimes, you can even include other women in this picture. This directly implies preselection, without being too try-hard about it. The “Active Life” Picture. While Rob does not recommend taking PLUURUVHOÀHVDWWKHJ\PKHGRHVVD\WKDW\RXVKRXOGLQFOXGHDSLFWXUHRI  you being active. So maybe this is a picture of you hiking in the wilderness, or maybe it’s a picture of you doing kickboxing. For Rob, one of his favorite hobbies is drawing. So he has a picture of him creating an awesome picture that he drew for one of the walls in his home. Not only does this show he is active, but it’s also a preview into one of his favorite hobbies. 237

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl So think about what sort of hobbies, or activities that you like to do, and try to incorporate a picture that shows you doing that. Often times, this picture ZLOOHQWLFHDJLUOWREHWKHÀUVWRQHWRPHVVDJH\RX The “Travel” Picture. Make sure to have a picture that shows you are worldly and like adventure. This doesn’t mean you have to do the overdone picture of you in Italy, pretending to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You can simply take a picture of you at an interesting looking bridge, or landmark. Maybe it’s a picture of you eating dinner at an interesting and unique restaurant. Or you can have a picture of you working from your laptop in really unique and fancy coffee shop. In any of these pictures, you do not want to seem like you went through a lot of effort to pose for the perfect picture. Most of these pictures should seem like snapshots into your everyday life. Rob recommends propping up a video camera while you do an activity. Afterwards, you can go through the video and take a screenshot from a good freeze-frame in the video. This way the picture doesn’t seem try-hard, and is actually just catching you in the middle of living your life. Just make sure to choose pictures that aren’t low quality, and low resolution.

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ADAM GILAD

Living BOLD WEBSITE: www.AdamGilad.com INSTAGRAM: @RealAdamGilad YOUTUBE: Youtube.com/GiladACI

A

DAM

GILAD HAS BEEN A DATING COACH FOR WELL OVER A DECADE. HE USED

to be a language professor at Stanford University, but found his calling LQZULWLQJRQOLQHGDWLQJSURÀOHVIRUPHQ$GDPKDVDXWKRUHGFRXQWOHVV

audio trainings and written several books, specializing in learning the “language” of the other gender. And his material is read by thousands from all over the world. These days, Adam spends most of his time buying one-way plane tickets, and traveling the world with his “Bold Life Mastermind” coaching group. SECRET #103: BE BOLD. “When I discovered the idea of presenting yourself boldly, and living boldly, I found that it was a much easier way to live…” One of the things Adam Gilad is most known for is teaching guys how

to live a “bold” lifestyle. Whether it’s with the women you want to date or just doing the things that YOU want to do. In our interview, I asked for his take on how he applies boldness to attracting women, and this is what he said: “I developed the idea of Boldness because I was so turned off by pick-up ZKHQLWÀUVWFDPHRXW«,EHFDPHDGDWLQJFRDFKDURXQGWKHWLPHZKHQ1HLO·V book, The Game, came out, and I realized that there were two kinds of men that were into pickup advice… One, were the kind who are really hesitant, and VK\DQGGLGQ·WKDYHVHOIFRQÀGHQFH7KHVHDUHWKHJX\VZKRQHHGWRZRUNRQ 239

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl being bold — just being direct about what they want. And the other kind of guy was super manipulative, and would do or say anything to try and fool women into bed… Neither of those mindsets seemed like really healthy ways of living. Those were the two extremes. Being bold means walking that middle path. It means stating what you’re about, and stating what you want — especially with a woman. I discovered this years ago, when I started writing about boldness, that I could be more bold in the way I talk to women… ,I ZHZHUHDOLWWOHÁLUWDWLRXV,ZRXOGVD\VRPHWKLQJOLNH¶
Living BOLD By saying “If you like it, you’re going to kiss me back.” You are showing her respect because she has the dignity of making the choice to kiss you back. By following this up with “If I like it, I’m going to pick you up, throw you over my shoulder, and ravish your body all night,” you are framing the opportunity of sex with you as a reward for liking the kiss. Because you’ve framed kissing you as a reward, she will likely be into it. Additionally, saying “If I like it…” frames you as the buyer here. Finally, by saying “If we both like it, in a couple of months we’ll go to Hawaii together…” This is a mutual reward for both of you potentially enjoying the intimacy, and connection. One last thing that Adam added is that he only uses this with women he REALLY likes, just because it works so well. Also, in case you are worried that you have to start saving up for trips to Hawaii… Girls rarely, if ever, call him out on the Hawaii trip later... SECRET #105. SPEAK HER LANGUAGE. “Women want to hear about things like connection, and energy. You know, the kind of things that make them feel close to a man.” :KHQGHFLGLQJZKDWWRZULWHLQ\RXUGDWLQJSURÀOHWKHZRUGV\RXFKRRVH to use could make all the difference. Whether it is for himself, or for his clients, $GDPKDVDYHU\XQLTXHVW\OHRI ZULWLQJIRUDQ\RQOLQHGDWLQJSURÀOH ,I \RXZHUHWRUHDG$GDP·VSHUVRQDORQOLQHSURÀOHRUDQ\RI WKHRQHVKH writes for clients) you would immediately notice how poetic it sounds. Every word and sentence seems carefully crafted, and designed to attract women. According to Adam, this is not rocket science, and simply comes down to the types of words you use. Here is what Adam said about the psychology behind ZULWLQJWKHVHSURÀOHV« “I taught writing and literature at Stanford University, so I’m very sensitive to language. A basic breakdown of English is that you have your Anglo-Saxon words and and your Latinate words. Your Anglo-Saxon words have punch, they have heft, they have kick… Latinate words are words like ‘beautiful,’ and ‘languorous.’ You know, they stretch out, and they have softer sounds… So I 241

107 Proven Ways To Get The Girl OLNHWRPL[XSWKHXVHRI WKRVHWZRLQP\SURÀOHVµ He also said that he alternates between words that are sensual, and words that are safe«´,·OOZULWHLQDSURÀOHVRPHWKLQJOLNH¶
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Living BOLD SECRET #107. JOY IS MAGNETIC. “Do shit that makes you happy.” I asked Adam for his take on helping out guys who were thrust into the dating scene because they recently got out of a long relationship or marriage. Since Adam became a dating coach only after coming out of a long marriage KLPVHOIKHZDVPRUHWKDQTXDOLÀHGWRDQVZHUWKLVTXHVWLRQ7KHDQVZHUKHJDYH can apply to anyone, regardless of your age or phase of dating that you’re in… “Joy is magnetic. Joy is magnetic. Do shit that makes you happy. Find your zone of excellence, and do things that make you happy… If you are doing things that make you happy, you are going to radiate happy energy, and people will be naturally be attracted to you.” Adam suggests bringing more joy into your life by picking up new hobbies that challenge yourself. The examples he gave were joining an improv group, learning how to salsa dance, traveling, or going to a Tony Robbins seminar. One last piece of advice that Adam gave for any older guys who want to date younger women is “Don’t pretend to be young.” You are not young, so don’t try to be. Rather, you should be youthful in your energy because your energy and your vibe are what ultimately attract women. When you are always doing things that make you happy, your energy will naturally attract youthful women. “Wake yourself up! Wake up your joy because if you are having a good time in your life, you will become the ride that women want to get on.”

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REFERENCES

Aron, Arthur, et al. “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings.” SAGE Social Science Collections, vol. 23, no. 4, ser. 363-377, 4 Apr. 1997, pp. 363–377. 363-377, journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003. Chin-Ning, Chu. Thick Face, Black Heart. New York, NY: Grand Central Publishing, 1998. Print. Coelho, Paulo. The Alchemist. HarperCollins Books, 1993. Deida, David. The Way of the Superior Man. Sounds True, 1997. Davis, Tamra, director. Billy Madison. Universal Pictures, Robert Simonds Productions, 1995. DeAngelo, D. (2001-2016, ). Double Your Dating. How To Create Irresistible Chemistry With Woman. Retrieved 2017, from https://doubleyourdating. com/how-to-create-sexual-tension-with-women/ 'DOH&DUQHJLH+RZ7R:LQ)ULHQGV ,QÁXHQFH3HRSOH1HZ
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Nolan, Christopher, director. Inception. Warner Bros., Legendary Entertainment, Syncopy, 2010. Oren, Klaff. Pitch Anything. McGraw-Hill Books, 2011. Print. 5REHUW%&LDOGLQL3K',QÁXHQFH7KH3V\FKRORJ\RI 3HUVXDVLRQ5HYLVHG Edition. New York, NY: HarperCollins Books, 2007. Print. Robert, Greene. The Art of Seduction. New York, NY: Penguin Group, 2001. Print.

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107 PROVEN WAYS TO GET THE GIRL

About The Author...

Patrick James is the coach and creator of #RawDatingAdvice. A brand WKDWLQÁXHQFHVWKRXVDQGVRI PHQIURPRYHUGLIIHUHQWFRXQWULHVHDFK day. He is the author of multiple best-selling books, including Become Her Addiction and The Magnetic Personality Formula. Patrick is most known for delivering RAW dating advice that works with pinpoint accuracy, and he is regularly asked to speak to crowds of 400+ for his LQSXWRQVSHFLÀFDQG´XQVROYDEOHµGDWLQJSUREOHPV You can join the #RawDatingAdvice family by subscribing to his Youtube channel... https://www.Youtube.com/PatrickJames And by joining his #RawDatingAdvice newsletter, religiously ead by thousands of men every single day, by going to... http://www.SwaggerSocial.com You can also interact with Patrick on social media: INSTAGRAM: @TheRealPatrickJ SNAPCHAT: @TheRealPatrickJ FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/PatrickJamesDating

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