Effortless Leading Get Her To Buy In (pickup Tech)

Effortless Leading: Get Her to Buy In girlschase.com /content/effortless-leading-get-her-buy If you’ve ever been tricked or convinced to do something against your original intentions, you’ve been on the receiving end of a failure to get buy in before an action . When I was a teenager, my parents would always try and convince me and my brothers to get jobs. It’s quite funny that having them tell us to do this actually made us less likely to get jobs, because they were constantly on our backs about it. They made it seem like it was something that we needed to do against our will. Thus, it was us against them; we had to give excuses as to why we couldn’t get the job, and skillfully dodge being told what to do.

Convincing people to do things isn’t as simple as telling them what to do. If I could walk up to a woman and make the first thing out of my mouth be, “Come home with me,” and she immediately acquiesced and did, I wouldn’t be spending time with her creating an emotional connection, comfort, and sexual attraction. In fact, if I made this the first thing out of my mouth she would likely very heavily resist any intention of coming home with me, even if I was the sexiest man on the planet. She would resist because I failed to get her to buy in to the idea of coming home with me. She had no say in the matter, and thus felt like she was being coerced into doing what I wanted, rather than doing something that was mutually beneficial. Sleeping with each other requires the collective conscious of both parties involved. She’s not your slave, which makes it absolutely necessary that she is thought of as an equal in the mating game.

Why Resist a Helpful Command? Doesn’t it seem a bit selfish of me to not want to go job hunting after my parents laid it out and explained to me that getting a job would help me? Certainly I already knew that. I know plenty of things I could have used the money for. I knew that I would gain respect from them if I did it. But every time that it was suggested to me, I would want to do it less and less. I was running away from my parents’ suggestions. Eventually, I ended up getting my first job, not because of their efforts to tell me about getting the job, but because I heard about it and knew it was something that I would like to do in order to get a little extra money for my hobbies. It’s the same way when you’re trying to convince a woman to do something with you, be it go home with you, go out on a date, or in order to get past last minute resistance. It can make all the sense in the world that going on that date would be much better than her sitting inside watching Netflix all night, so what gives? You’ve no doubt heard about reverse psychology. Tell someone to do something, and they’re going to no doubt want to do the opposite. Reverse psychology mainly depends on the emotional response to being told what to do. This response is referred to as reactance:

“Specifically, when a perceived freedom is threatened with elimination, an individual is motivated to reestablish that freedom. Quick and Stephenson (2007b) argue individuals can restore a threatened freedom by one of three processes (reactance restoration): 1) boomerang effects (reestablish the threatened freedom), 2) related-boomerang effects (engage in behavior similar to the threatened freedom), or 3) vicarious boomerang effects (indirect restoration via observing others engaging in the threatened behavior). There are several message features that seem to activate reactance. Among these features are: concrete language (Miller, et al., 2007), intensity (Buller, et al., 2000, Dillard & Shen, 2005), and explicitness (Burgoon, Alvaro, Broneck et al., 2002). The use of language that is perceived as controlling is perhaps the most commonly studied message feature, which appears to activate psychological reactance. Controlling language – ordering people to engage in specific healthy behaviors – can be perceived as overly dogmatic and forceful (Quick & Considine, 2008; Quick & Kim, 2009; Quick & Stephenson, 2008). Even directive language, including terms such as "must" and "need”, can be perceived as restricting attitudinal and behavioral choices (Gardner, 2010). The effort by researchers to measure state reactance seemed impeded when Brehm (1966) suggested it was impossible to measure. Still, reactance is most often (and most usefully) conceptualized as a combination of cognitive and emotional responses to messages that are perceived to threaten an individual's freedom of choice. Dillard and Shen (2005) modeled the reactance process as a combination of cognitive and emotional responses, which they called an Intertwined Process Model (IPM). The IPM suggests self-reported negative cognitions (e.g., elicited negative thoughts about the message) and anger (four-item index of irritated, angry, annoyed, and aggravated) negatively predict how some persons respond to the attitudes and behaviors recommended in messages about flossing (do it) and binge

drinking (don't do it).”

This study, called State Reactance (http://chirr.nlm.nih.gov/state-reactance.php), shows that whenever you feel like someone is taking control of a situation and telling you what to do, a source of freedom is lost. Whenever freedom is lost, you want to rebel and show that yes, you are in control of your situation. This is how reactance works. For example, directly tell a woman who’s anything other than chomping at the bit to leave with you to come with you and leave the bar, even if she did want to to some degree previously? Chances are she’s going to resist it, because you used direct language that could easily be perceived as you trying to gain some measure of control over the situation by exerting an order.

You certainly can persist through reactance, but it simply is not the least effort pathway, because it can activate her defensive mechanisms.

How to Persuasively Lead “How do you convince a girl to do something?” This is a very common question among men who are beginning their seduction careers. After all, seduction is a technique that revolves around persuading women to feel emotionally ready to have sex with you. One of the primary tenets of seduction is to lead a girl to the bedroom, and when you spend any amount of time leading people you realize that you need to make sure that they want to go along with you. This is where the concept of buying into a seduction comes into play. A woman buying into you is one that complies with you because she feels like she is a part of the decision making process. She effortlessly comes with you because not only did she want to come with

you, but she felt like she was involved in making this happen. If you ever want a woman to do something, make it so that she is a part in making it happen. By the very nature of convincing a woman to do something, you’re going to want to make sure that she’s buying in at the transition points in conversation. These are the points in which she will have to make the split second decision, which requires her to feel like she’s a part of the transition point. Here’s a list that shows the difference between getting her to buy into your decision and feeling like she was not a part of it:

Opening Buy-Ins Getting her to buy in during an opener – see: the pre-opener – is something that has been discussed and referenced quite heavily on this website. Pre-openers focus on getting the woman to look at you first, because it puts women in the subconscious situation of being the one seeking your attention. For example, I frequently see videos involving guys approaching women from the sides, and they often come up to them in a very direct manner. She feels like she wasn’t a part of the decision making process of talking to you, because you took up all the work in getting to her and talking to her. It’s going to feel like you are trying to get something out of her, which makes her vastly less likely to go along with what you’re saying. Meanwhile, if you use a pre-opener and get the woman to look at you prior to engaging in speaking, she is working at making the opener work. She buys into the situation, allowing for a natural combination of the two of you working together. In addition, you should make sure to try and get a girl’s attention prior to becoming involved with her, as she begins to want you to approach her, which makes her feel like she was a part of the entire process. As a good rule of thumb, work on increasing the chances that she looks at you prior to you spotting her. If you spot her first, be sure to get her to buy in by using a pre-opener.

“The Date” Buy-Ins There are right ways and wrong ways of asking a girl out on a date. The wrong way of doing this involves taking her and moving without gaining her opinion on the matter. I made the mistake of asking a girl out to prom in high school by telling her, “We’re going to prom together.” I thought I was being commanding and confident. But it came off like I was the parent trying to tell her what to do, and she heavily resisted me, resulting in what I thought was going to be a sure “yes” turning into an adamant “no”. Many guys encounter this on dates as well. They are taught to be dominant and confident, thus they pick the date and time without getting so much as any effort out of her. This makes her feel like she is being forced to do it, effectively making it so she does not buy in. The proper way to ask a girl out on a date is by getting her opinion on the matter. You can even give her the faux impression that her input matters, but the point of it all is to make sure that she feels like a part of the process. My favorite way of doing this is to give the girl in question a couple of options when deciding to go on a date. I’ll propose to her, “Which sounds better to you – pick up some Chinese food and watch a movie, or go out for sushi at the restaurant on Main?” The latter is next to your house, and the movie-watching of the former will take place in your house, but it feels a lot friendlier than telling her she’s coming over to yours (and makes you a lot more likely to get a yes).

“The Pull” Buy-Ins

The pull is a point where you absolutely need to make sure that she is buying in. If a woman is not feeling it, she is not going to go home with you. The “yes” ladder is a popular technique to get her to buy in because she is actively saying yes and moving the conversation along. You’re logically leading her through the decision making process, which allows for it to feel quite natural. As in the date example, you’re never going to want to forcibly say “we’re going”. Always make her feel like she’s helping to make the decision, and she will become a lot more compliant. These situations often involve creating an “us vs. the world” atmosphere, as opposed to a “you vs. her” one. A physical relationship between two people must always be fostered by the both of them. If she feels outside of the love making process, she will not take part in it.

What if She Still Won’t Go? Getting your girl to buy in isn’t the master key to getting a “yes” to every date proposal. You’ve still got to be doing everything else right.

Most times when you’ve given a girl a buy-in and she’s not interested in moving the interaction further, she will try to reframe the buy-in as something completely different, or perhaps throw up a barrier, such as telling you: She has a boyfriend She’s not interested

An excuse for not being able to go Typically women are very honest when you aren’t throwing commands in their face. That’s great for maintaining social status while still approaching women, because if you use buy-ins as a method of getting women to come along with you, women will rarely grow cold about the interaction. Most girls can recognize that you’re still a cool guy who lets them in on deciding – other factors such as a lack of attraction, a boyfriend at home, or rock-solid beliefs may just be limiting them from agreeing to move in such a transition point. However, if you’re out there throwing out commands such as, “Let’s go on a date to XYZ” when she really does not want to do so, you’re going to run into many cold shoulders. You’ll see this often with guys who approach women telling them that they’re beautiful without any form of pre-selection or preopening; some girls will just stay shut off, and the approach will feel rather awkward. In short, don’t be the guy commanding a girl to go out to prom with you. Be the guy that gives her options, and she’ll respect that decision and be much more likely to go along with what you’ve said, rather than opposing it in reactance and defiance in an effort to escape from a situation that limits her freedom. Ross

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