I Did Things To You In My Head

I DID THINGS TO YOU IN MY HEAD

I have been locked up before and then you touched my hand

your mouth tastes of discontinued cigarettes and perpetual regress you feel like hospice and your blood is laden with regrets

one day I will lay you in your coffin to sleep and I will think less and less of you

"am I fuckable?" "what does your body feel like?" "can I slip my hand between your thighs?" "do you like the taste of me?" "do I remind you of someone else?" "will you cum on my face?" "do I make you want to die?" "when will you forget me?"

all I have left for you is wet pussy & contempt

the doctors taped my suicide note back together and read it to me they asked why I wanted to eradicate myself I said "my head was heavy and I have already died a thousand deaths"

the moans, the sighs, your dead eyes

I once had a lover, we fed off each other like rabid animals, I used to run through her veins but now only heroin and apathy do I once had a lover, the love of his life took her own, I was nothing but a ghost of her, taking her bones and making a home I once had a lover who scraped up my remains and pulled me out of my grave with every single touch he gave

I met a boy in a hospital who told me of a time when he and his friend were walking alongside the train tracks at night after they had taken one too many pills a train came through and carried his friend with it for almost a mile and barely any of him was left and I thought to myself that barely of any of us are left

types of girls: anesthesia, gravity, candle smoke, blood splatter, a black box from a plane at the bottom of the ocean types of boys: dead languages, vaulted ceilings, sleep paralysis, a dimly lit childhood bedroom

I saw a woman on television whose husband died suddenly and she carried his ashes with her everywhere she went, she slept with them, continued to cook her husband’s favorite food for him and when that wasn’t enough she began to eat the remains to feel closer to him, to make him a literal part of her and I wonder what will happen when there’s nothing left

“deep and fearful concerns with the foundations of the self”

"do you still watch our sex tape? do you still think of me when you cum?"

I have arranged the planets to mimic your eyes

contact at [email protected]