Joseph Matthews - Charm School

Joseph Matthew’s

Charm School How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman. www.purepersonality.com

Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Table Of Contents Introduction .............................................................................................................................. 2 The Importance Of Honesty ............................................................................................... 3 Charm By Definition .............................................................................................................. 5 Starting Off ................................................................................................................................ 6 Compliments............................................................................................................................. 8 Manners .................................................................................................................................... 10 In Your Face ............................................................................................................................ 11 Expand Your Horizons ....................................................................................................... 12 What About Slob?.................................................................................................................. 13 Exercising................................................................................................................................. 14 Vocabulary ............................................................................................................................... 16 So You Think You Can Dance........................................................................................... 17 Why Be Funny? ...................................................................................................................... 19 Why Me Funny? ..................................................................................................................... 20 How To Begin To Amuse .................................................................................................... 22 Jokes........................................................................................................................................... 24 Go With Your Gut, Literally.............................................................................................. 25 Insults ........................................................................................................................................ 26 Represent Yourself............................................................................................................... 27 The Devil's Advocate ............................................................................................................ 29 Don't Over React.................................................................................................................... 30 Control....................................................................................................................................... 32 On Being an Extravert ......................................................................................................... 33 Presence.................................................................................................................................... 34 Gifts............................................................................................................................................. 36 Where to Meet People ......................................................................................................... 37 Forward, March! ................................................................................................................... 39 Admitting Fault ...................................................................................................................... 41 Moderation .............................................................................................................................. 42 Accentuate The Positive ..................................................................................................... 43 It's a Long Story ..................................................................................................................... 44

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Introduction This book is first and foremost a tutorial on charm - that quality that has made leading ladies swoon for generations, and has made their leading men not only sex symbols, but icons. A good portion of the book will deal with humor. It will describe how and when to use it as well why it is so important. I believe that a good sense of humor is essential for anyone who hopes to enjoy his life. I will further add that humor and laughter are the key ingredients that separate a guy who is simply nice, from a man who is truly charming. This book will also contain some more general advice on achieving success with women, and what it takes to achieve that success. The more complete we are within ourselves, the more we can offer to others. There are very few things that are more charming than a person who knows what he wants, and strives to do better every day. Everything contained in this book is an opinion that I hold to be true. Every word is something that I believe, and every piece of advice is what I would hope to be given if I were to ask for it. The statements made here are based on personal experience, and the personal experiences of people I call friends. They are laid out for your information, amusement, and edification. I hope everything contained here works as well for you as it has for me. I can't say definitively what will work for everybody, as we all have different needs and different situations. What follows is simply my advice on what is attractive not just to women, but to the world. In addition to straight forward advice, I'm including a fair amount of anecdotes that I'm hoping will help illustrate the concepts contained in this book. Some of these stories are from my own life. Some are from the lives of people I know. There might be one that I read in a book somewhere that I believe to have happened to a friend. In any case, the only thing that I will change in the transcription of these events will be the names. All the women will have stripper names -- not because all women are or should be viewed as if they were strippers, but because stripper names are cool. All the men will have Asian names for the same reason. And now, let’s get to it…

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

The Importance Of Honesty Wong Fe Hung had been in a serious relationship for a few months when he decided he no longer wanted to be with his girlfriend Cinnamon. Still, in hopes that the relationship would somehow get better, he said nothing. For three months the relationship continued; neither party was happy. Cinnamon wished that Wong would grow up and get a real job. Wong spent more and more time with his friends, claiming that he needed "room to breathe". One day, in Wong's efficiency apartment, there was a great argument. "I think you've been cheating on me", Cinnamon said. Despite Wong's protest, she would not change her mind. "What makes you so sure that I've been untrue?" Wong asked. "It's just a feeling", Cinnamon replied earnestly, "It seems as though you've been lying about everything for the past three months". I once read on a bathroom wall a quote that I'll never forget... "If you are always honest, you don't have to remember anything." What this means to me is that if you don't lie about anything, you won't have to worry about anything you've said. This can keep you out of a lot of bad situations in life, and especially in love. We hear a lot of advice about how to handle a first encounter with a girl. A great deal of it involves "how to play it." If you start "playing it" as anyone but yourself, you're taking a big risk in the long run. I guess that sort of putting on an act can do wonders in the short term. We all know there are women out there who will sleep with you if they think you're a millionaire. If that's the only end you're looking to achieve, have at it. I'm sure it will be satisfying for a while. But, eventually, even the most “player” of “players” is looking for something more than just a quickie. Marriage might not be your goal, and I'm not saying that it should be. However, every one of us is going to, at some point, want to be loved for who we truly are. Even if you can keep up a false persona day in and day out for years, there will come a time when you realize that the people who like you (or love you) don't even know you. The person that they know is a character you've made up to "be cool" and "get chicks". The real you will still be there -- and he'll be as lonely as he was when the charade first began. This DOES NOT mean that I think anyone should start pouring their hearts out to people they've just met. That won't do anybody any good. Don't go crying in your

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

popcorn on a first date, or that girl isn't gonna want to have anything to do with you -and rightly so. If you're a person with worth, and we all are, there will be plenty of time to reveal all of your little eccentricities to that special woman. She doesn't need to hear about every time your spirit's been crushed right away. The neat thing about a real relationship with a girl is that after time, they not only want to hear that sort of stuff, they can make it feel better. But only after time. Being up front and honest also doesn't mean that you should be blunt or rude. "Telling it like it is" is often a symptom of being an asshole. If you have a different opinion than the person you're talking to, it's certainly fine to express it. Just don't be a jerk about it -- save the accusatory tones and harsh remarks to laugh at later as what you COULD HAVE said. Just because you're not perfect doesn't mean that you have to hide who you really are. Everyone you know, and everyone you will ever meet, will have flaws. Now, don't go shouting about your hemorrhoid problems from the rooftop, but if you're with a girl and she says she doesn't like hairy men, it's fine to say something like "I'm hairy as hell, but you still like talking to me." It's not about hiding who you are, it's about becoming comfortable with who you are. Or, if it's truly something you feel you need to change, it's about bringing who you already are to a new level. Being honest is one of the strongest and most admired traits a man can have. Sometimes it's hard, but good things often are. And it's definitely easier to tell someone up front that you're broke than to keep making up stories about how you lost your wallet.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Charm By Definition Charm: 1. to affect by or as if by magic 2. to please, soothe, or delight by compelling attraction Here's the gist of it. A charming person is both funny and fun to be around. He is suave, honest and above all desirable. He is a lover of positive energy, and does his best to intensify that energy wherever he goes. The best thing about charm is that everybody has (or can have) it. It doesn't matter who you are, what kind of job you do, or what kind of clothes you wear -- every person has their own individual form of charm. Our goal is simply to unlock that charm within ourselves, to recognize it, to use it at will to leave a positive impression, and of course, to have a good time. That's the most important part, having a good time. If you're having fun, people around you will have fun, too. On the off chance that you're surrounded by people who refuse to have a good time, you'll be too busy enjoying yourself to notice!

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Starting Off Yeun Wo Ping was worried about his finances. No matter how much he worked, it seemed that he would still miss payments on his electric bill. He decided to gather his thoughts beneath a plum tree near his home. Yeun thought, "Should I get another job? Maybe I should just get rid of my telephone for good. What do I have that I can go without?" Soon, a familiar woman walked by. Yeun cried out "Luscious, please come and chat with me!". Luscious came to Yeun's side and listened to his tale of woe. "Yeun", Luscious said, "Do you have a budget?" Together, Luscious and Yeun made a budget and wrote it down on a piece of parchment. They realized that Yeun couldn't possibly pay all of his bills on the money he made because he was spending 20 dollars more a month than he was bringing in. Yeun began laughing. Luscious inquired, "Yeun, you are SO broke, why are you laughing?" Yeun chuckled, "I'd never have realized if we hadn't written it down", and pointed to the "entertainment" portion of his budget, which totaled 150 dollars. "I spend about five dollars a day renting movies", he said. He folded the paper up and put it in his pocket. Yeun laughed again, "Last week, I started dating the cashier at the video store". A charming person is happy, confident, and secure with himself. Maybe you already have these qualities most of the time. If that's true, CONGRATULATIONS! You're ahead of the game! If not, well that's okay too, cause the fact is -- you can be. The best way to start is to write it all down. A successful person in any discipline knows his strengths and weaknesses backwards and forwards. This is one of the keys to confidence. Not only do you have to be proud of the things you HAVE done, you have to be honest with yourself and others about what you HAVEN'T done. (Notice that I said HAVE or HAVEN'T done, not what you CAN or CAN'T do -- the distinction is important.) So, let's start with the list. On one side write things that you are proud of. Anything counts, as long as you are truly happy you've done it. Got a good job? Write it down. Good friends? Own a car? Can you cook a mean steak? All of it goes on the list. Now for the things you haven't done yet. Put down stuff like "haven't gotten in shape" or "haven't been on a date in a while"- leave out "haven't slept with Jennifer Aniston" and "haven't climbed Mt. Everest". Successful people do this ALL THE TIME in their heads.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

It's a good way to gauge where you've been and where you want to go. Now check out the positive side of the list. Every one of those is an accomplishment. Every one of those is a reason to be proud. And every one of those is a good thing about you that someone else will appreciate when you give them the chance to find out about it! For a lot of us, the "have" list isn't as long as the "haven't" list. That's okay -- there's a reason for it. We tend to focus on our negatives because we have to live with ourselves ALL THE DAMN time. These are the things we think about because they BOTHER us. Think about life as a wonderful meal. Those negatives are like a fly buzzing around our heads while we're trying to eat. As small and insignificant as that fly is, it is at the same time terribly difficult to ignore because it's getting on our nerves. And here we are, like a bunch of chumps, paying attention to the tiny little fly instead of the HUGE buffet in front of us! So, take a minute and think about what you've accomplished. Let yourself sink into what you've already done and what you already have. Next have a small peek at what you haven't done. Chances are, there are a few things on that list that are long term goals -- challenges that seem so big it feels like you'll never attain them. But maybe there are a few things that you can change RIGHT NOW. Sure, you can't lose 20 pounds today, but you can clean the holy shit out of an apartment in an afternoon. Yeah, you haven't met your soulmate yet- don't sweat it! You've got the time TODAY to begin something big. We've all heard it before, but truer words have never been spoken: every long journey begins with a single step. So, homeboy, let's start stepping.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Compliments One of the easiest, though frequently misused, ways of showing your charm is by giving a good compliment. Everyone, especially ladies, needs to hear something nice about themselves from time to time. But not ALL the time. A common mistake people make is giving too many compliments too frequently. This makes you come off as insincere and trying too hard, and therefore a little desperate. A compliment should be genuine, or it loses its meaning. If you aren't honest, a compliment not only becomes hollow, it becomes a lie. So when you're thinking of something nice to say, take your time. Avoid cliches (your eyes look beautiful in this light, etc.) and think of something that you really mean and really believe. You can actually try this out on your friends -- it's a lot of fun. When you're out with the guys, make it a point to tell each one something genuinely nice about them. Comment on their hair, or their clothes or even how they've handled some situation in the past. Let them know what you admire them for, and why they are important to you as a friend. And if you guys are out at a bar make sure to do this BEFORE you get few drinks in you. If your friends are anything like mine, they'll either thank you or call you a queer, but they'll definitely notice and remember it. So, after you try this out on your buds (and made them uncomfortable, hahaha), it's time to bring it into the world of women. I'd say start off small. Pick someone at work, or someone you see on a very regular basis who you have a casual relationship with already. Now think of something that you really like about her (nothing nasty here, gentlemen) and mention it in passing the next time you see her. "You know, Saphire, there's always the nicest smell hanging around your desk. What is that, a scented candle?" The most important thing to remember, though, is to make it genuine. If Saphire's desk generally smells like ass, it's pretty insulting to ask her why it smells so nice. After you've given a good amount of compliments to people you know, you can try giving them to people you don't know. Once again, you might want to start with guys if

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

you have nerves about talking to random people. Now since you don't know these people, you want to make sure that the compliment is very superficial, while remaining 100% true. And don't bother people if they look like they're in a hurry. Start off with stuff like you see a guy in the grocery store who's wearing an unusual hat: "Hey, man I've never seen a hat like that before -- where did you get it?" After you get an answer, say "thanks", add that you really like the hat again, then say "bye" and go about your business. Make sure that the interaction is short but polite -- you don't want to be a bother. Basically you want to practice making a good impression quickly, then walking away. It will let others know that you are an observant, well meaning fellow who likes to say nice things without wanting something in return.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Manners Pai Mei was sitting at a table in a sports bar with a few friends. Sunshine, a friend of a friend, entered the bar and took a seat next to Pai Mei. After a while, the two started talking, and were getting along very well. Pai Mei's idiot friends, however, kept buying round after round of sake and liquor. After a time, Pai Mei's stomach decided it had had enough, and dumped its contents onto Sunshine's feet, and also got a little in her purse. The room was loud, so the incident didn't draw as much attention as it might have in another venue. Pai Mei looked at the mess he'd made, turned to Sunshine and said softly, "Pardon me. That was disgusting." He got up, went to the shitter and rinsed out his mouth. When he returned to the table, Sunshine was waiting for him. "Are you okay?" Sunshine asked. "I'm a lot better now. A shot for all of my friends!" he announced as he handed a buddy some cash. Pai Mei turned to Sunshine and asked candidly, "Did much get on you?" "On my feet, and I think a little in my purse". Pai Mei responded, "A thousand apologies!" Sunshine smiled. Then she asked, "Now what where we talking about?" There is an old adage in the stand up comedy world that says the better you dress on stage, the dirtier the jokes you can get away with. In the same vein, there is something to be said about a guy with good manners. Now I'm not saying that you should start putting your jacket down over mud puddles, but a "thank you" or a "pardon me" never goes out of style. A "bless you" when someone sneezes can be worth its weight in gold. I'm no Martha Stewart (and I ain't never been to jail), but you'd be surprised what people will accept when it's delivered with good manners. Now there's a time and place for everything, and this is no different. You have undoubtedly heard that cocky guys without any manners at all often end up meeting the most women. There's a certain truth to that. It's important to know the rules, however, before you begin to break them. And the Golden Rule is to treat others with respect until they prove they don’t deserve it. Being nice, kind, and polite will never go wrong for you. Being loud, abrasive, and obnoxious just might.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

In Your Face SMILE! Please, for the love of the game, smile! A charming guy is a smiling guy. What's the easiest way to keep a smile on your face? Have a good time! The act of smiling itself releases endorphins (chemicals in your brain that provide positive feelings), and even faking a smile will make you feel a little better- this is science, guys. When you are smiling, it makes people around you want to smile, too. And what's more attractive to ANYONE than people who are having a good time? In addition, smiling makes you more approachable and more desirable when you are approaching someone else- it is universal sign over all cultures of positive feeling. When you are smiling, people are more likely to have a positive impression of you, even though you haven't said a word. It's all too common to go out places that we've been to over and over again and let that show on our faces. Try thinking about something that makes you happy before you go out next time, and keep that thought in the back of your mind while you are out. It can be anything from a TV show you watched earlier to the two poodles you saw doing it in the park last week. Anything will work as long as it makes you smile. If you do this well enough, someone you're around is bound to ask at some point what you're so happy about. And when you tell them you're smiling about 2 dogs that humped a week ago, they're gonna smile, too.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Expand Your Horizons One problem that a lot of guys have is keeping a conversation going once their in one. While there's no way to completely ensure that a conversation will keep going, a good strategy is to have A LOT of things to talk about. Now, we all have our routines. There are things that we do every day without fail either because we are forced to earn a living or because we need to unwind or whatever. It's good, though, to break these routines and to do it often. You know what women like? Not to be bored. If you've only got a few things that you do in a week (well, I watched TV and played some video games, and worked), then you are seriously limiting the things you'll have to talk about with someone who doesn't know you. Get out! Do more things! This can be something that you've always wanted to try, like rock climbing or surfing- or it can be something as simple as taking a walk around a different neighborhood. Go get your palm read- even if you don't subscribe to that sort of stuff, it'll be a story (and for some reason, the ladies LOVE things like that). A person's life is a string of experiences, so go and have some. You'll feel better automatically. Even if the experience isn't as good as you'd hoped for, you'll still be a happier, and more well versed person for having gone through it. You'll also be more likely to have a shared experience with a girl you've met, which in turn will give you something to talk about. If she's into make up, and you've just had a horrible experience getting a manicure just for kicks, you can be totally honest about it and have a really good conversation.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

What About Slob? Akira had just moved to a new town and was staying with his friend Tetsuo. After a few nights of settling in and catching up with each other, the pair decided that they should have a proper celebration. On Tetsuo's recommendation, they decided to go to one of the most popular clubs in the town. After waiting in line (for like a year), they met a large warrior who's job it was to guard the door of the club and make sure that everyone who went inside was 21. The warrior said, "Tetsuo, you are welcome to come into our club and have the fun you desire. Inside are many beautiful women, which I'm sure you noticed while waiting forever in the line. However, your friend Akira is not welcome, for he is wearing open toed shoes." Disheartened by the news, Tetsuo told Akira that there wasn't a damn thing they could do. Akira pleaded with the warrior, "Kind sir, it is true that I look like a vagabond with these opened toed shoes, but I assure you that I'm cool. Besides, I've seen from my place in line that many of the beautiful women you've already let enter are also wearing shoes with open toes." The warrior replied, "Yeah, man. But the shoes they were wearin were sexy. You're wearin flip flops." Just a few notes on hygiene. It's very important to look your best. Actually, it's MOST important to FEEL like you look your best. When you go out into the world feeling like you look as good as you possibly can, you are more confident. Confidence breeds a positive outlook, and a positive outlook in turn breeds more confidence. So, make sure to establish not only what you think looks best on you, but what you feel the best in. When you go out shopping, don't think about what people will like on you, think about what you will feel best in. Keep yourself neat and clean. For the majority of guys, a shower, shave and a quick comb through takes about 20 minutes- a small price to pay in comparison. Girls spend SO MUCH TIME primping and prepping that they tend to notice when someone else has not. I'm not saying that you have to doll yourself up the way women do, but you have to pay attention to the simple things. Women can get over a guy's weight or height, but if you've got some barbeque sauce on the side of your face all night, you might as well have leprosy. I dated a girl once who was obsessed with whether or not people she met had flossed that day. It's incredible how such a little thing can leave an impression.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Exercising Chan Song had not known a woman's touch in quite some time. He was therefore very excited when Peaches invited him up to her apartment after he gave her a ride home. "This is a nice location- what's you're rent?" Chan asked. The conversation flowed like water as the clock's hands scurried forward. "I need to get to sleep", Peaches said. "Okay", replied Chan Song, "It's cool if I crash here, right?" "Oh, are you too tired to drive?" Peaches asked. "No", said Chan, "I just thought that maybe we could..." Peaches, with pity in her voice, said "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression..." A few months later, after sticking to the diet and exercise plan Chan had devised for himself (and losing like 40 pounds- for real), he prepared for a night out. Knowing full well that Peaches hadn't seen him for some time, Chan purchased the tightest pants he could find and paired them with his coolest jacket. That night, Chan walked into the Polo Lounge like he owned the damn place. Peaches had no choice but to be swept off her feet. The next morning, in very soft tones, Peaches told Chan that there was something different about him that she couldn't quite place. Chan exclaimed, "I lost 40 pounds!" Peaches replied, "Well, DUH! I mean there's something else. You're like, cooler or something. Like, when you walked in you gave me this look like you already knew we were gonna hook up". Chan Song, for the first time, knew what that something else was- and knew that it stemmed as much from his sense of accomplishment as it did from his smaller pant size. Okay, for some of you, this will be an old routine. Guys, you NEED to exercise. Not just for your physical health, but for your mental health, too. Almost everyone has something they'd like to improve about their bodies, and gentlemen, the time is NOW. I know it hurts to hear it, but you can't be the man you're capable of being unless you feel good about the skin you're in. Not all of us are gonna look like Brad Pitt, but who the hell cares? The point of any self improvement isn't to become a new person, but to bring the person we already are to his full potential. Yeah, working out is a pain, and it's hard to keep it up at first. Those of us who have tried to be in better shape in the past and have given up all know how difficult it can be. But if you've ever tried for a while, then quit, I'm sure you can remember what it felt like when you were completely into it. Admit it- you felt BETTER! Not just physically better either. The grass was greener, you had more ambition to do other things. You were you, but improved- and it felt great.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Guys, it's time to get that feeling back. Every man needs to overcome something in order to really feel like a man. For those of you that are already on the right path, congrats. That'll give you the experience to help a brother out. We're in this together, right? Well, act like it. You've got a friend that could use your help, and it's about time you offered. It would be stupid to not admit that this is an easier task for some people than it is for others. And, of course, we all get different results depending on our various body make ups. The key is to not be so stuck on what the guy next to you can do. It's not important. Some of us can kill ourselves day in and day out and still not have the build we want. Other people can walk to the bus stop every day and stay in great shape. That doesn't mean that those with the harder road should stop traveling. In my opinion, the guys who haven't had to try for it won't ever be able to appreciate it. They've never had to work for it, so they don't know its true value. Guess who DOES? That's right -- WOMEN! Some of those girls work harder than you'd imagine to keep those head turning figures. A woman's body is biologically designed to store more fat, so it's even more difficult for them to lose it than it is for us. Talk about common interests! So, start getting busy! You have it in you, and you know you have it in you. The procrastination thing is out. You CAN make a difference. The great thing is, however fast or slow the results come, there WILL BE results. It's a sure thing. And you will feel better. From someone who knows first hand, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Vocabulary A charming person doesn't necessarily have to be an intelligent person, but they can't sound like an idiot either. Because we are exposed too often to a variety of simplistic media, it's very easy to slide into a style of speech that gets the job done, but has no flare. I'm not going to knock television's entertainment value, (god knows I watch enough of it) but let's face it, it's not making any of us smarter. Especially with the rise of reality TV, we're not even watching things that have been written by professionals. Most of us already know all the words we hear on TV or on the radio, which means that we're not increasing our knowledge through these medias. This might sound like it isn't important, but I assure you it is. The more ways you know to describe something, the more specific you can be- and the less you'll have to repeat yourself. How many times have you been talking to someone, and they just can't get what you're trying to say? How many times do we use the words "cool, hot, shitty, ect." just because it's the first thing that comes to mind? No one wants to hear the same thing over and over again- but it happens a lot. You can really stand out in a person's mind if you can tell them something new. Not that you have to sound like a Harvard professor. When you use words that are obviously over your (or her) head, it's a complete turn off -- totally not charming. The key is to have the words at your disposal when you need them, but still speak on a level that sounds natural. There's a place both for "that skirt looks stunning" and "you look fucking hot," make sure you've got the tools to use either. Also, it never hurts to read literature of any kind. Your own vocabulary will improve just by doing it, and, depending on what you're reading, it can open up new possibilities for conversation with different groups of people.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

So You Think You Can Dance Ming Lau and a few of his friends went out one night to a disco tech. After a few hours of dancing and enjoying each other's company, Ming spotted a beautiful woman standing with her friends. He puffed himself up and walked over to them. "Hello, my name is Ming Lau", he said. The woman looked to one of her friends, confused. The friend then spoke in a language Ming didn't understand. The beautiful woman then introduced herself, "Hello, I am Bambi. I am of Brazil". Ming Lau couldn't believe his luck. He thought to himself, "A beautiful woman who doesn't speak my language! I've heard good things about THIS situation". He asked her to dance, and when she didn't understand he held up his arms as if he was leading a waltz and began swaying back and forth. Then he smiled at her. When she smiled back he knew she had understood. "No", Bambi said using her best english, "not with you". Ming Lau went back to his friends to tell them the news. Lo Pan and the others all laughed, then everyone went back on the dance floor. Ming ended up having a very fun night. He never saw Bambi again. Every time he thinks of that night, he laughs at his own folly and remembers not only Bambi, but the great time he and his friends had laughing and joking- and the ashtray he stole from the discothèque. One of the smoothest, and most classical ways to charm the pants off a lady is to impress them on the dance floor. For whatever reason, ladies love dancing. They can't get enough of it- or a guy who can do it well. So remember how we're gonna expand our horizons? I think that one of the best ways to do that is to step outside of your box and try this dancing thing out. If you can move already, good for you (and you know what I'm talking about)! If not, you're not alone. Dudes have been sucking it up on the dance floor since the first caveman played the first beat. If cartoons have told me true, it was probably one guy banging on a hollow log, another guy playing an elephant tusk like a saxophone and the same retard you can see on any modern day dance floor, still looking like an idiot trying to swat a fly. It's not a terrible thing to be in a club and not know how to dance- lots of guys do it pretty successfully. The women still grind all over them, just cause that's what women do. But a guy that can really move can not only get away with absolute MURDER while he's dancing, he can also bring that energy back to the table often with a few girls, too. You can always get advice from a friend who DOES know how to dance, if you don't

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

mind being in sort of a funny, 80's movie situation. I'd say the best bet, if you have the income, is to take a few classes. It will greatly improve your skills and it's a form of exercise in itself (you ever hear about the pro football players taking ballet lessons - its true). In fact, a class of any sort is a great place to meet women. It's also a very easy approach situation, since the two of you will already have something obvious in common.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Why Be Funny? As I said in the introduction, humor is a large part of what separates a nice guy from a truly charming guy. While a nice guy is someone who's good to be around, a guy with a great sense of humor is a person people can't wait to be around. We, as humans, are drawn to laughter. We crave it. Have you ever been in a situation that was so terrible that you just HAD to laugh? Lots of us have. And it is truly a NEED to laugh, rather than a desire to laugh. Even horrific things can be made manageable through comedy. The TV show South Park has shown us time and time again that humor can be found in even the most deplorable places, and often it is the only way we can wrap our heads around situations that have gone beyond our control. Laughter brings out the best in people as well as situations. This is why we find ourselves drawn so directly to that which makes us smile. For example, when in a group of not laughing people, one person can start laughing and make everyone else in the group do the same, even though they have no idea what they're laughing about. No joke was told, no one got a pie to the face, everyone just starts cracking up because one person started laughing. This happens because our desire to laugh and have the release that it brings is strong enough to make us laugh even though nothing's really funny. It therefore makes sense, since our desire to laugh is so strong, that the person who can make others laugh will inevitably have a strong attraction on the people around him. He fulfills that desire and grants the release that EVERYONE craves all the time. People can't help wanting to be around him, no matter what he looks like or what flaws he has. So, why be funny? Let me rephrase that. Don't you want to be that guy?

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Why Me Funny? I guess that grammar is a little off. The question you really have to ask yourself is "How am I funny?" Everyone's made somebody laugh at some point. The most boring teacher you've ever had, and the most surly co-worker you've ever dealt with have BOTH at some time cracked somebody up. So, what's the difference between the high school math teacher that could talk for an hours about a rhombus, and that same teacher 5 hours later at the local watering hole making his friends laugh their asses off? Well, part of it's the 5 hours. Though we're in the same body 24 hours a day, our personality can change quite dramatically from day to night. People are conditioned to have night time be the time where they can kick back and relax. After dusk, we start loosening up and letting our guard down. We feel more free to have experiences and are more open to things like laughter and passion. The freaks come out at night isn't just a saying- it's a fact. Another part has to do with location. Sure, people can have fun with their co-workers. It's rare, though, to have the same energy both in and out of work. It's an interesting situation, however. While we are at work, because the mindset there is often so rigid, less is required to really make people laugh. Even small occurrences that would go unnoticed in another environment (such as someone faltering on a ripple in the carpet) can seem really funny. The TV show The Office capitalizes on this effect. If the events on that show happened in an amusement park, it wouldn't make for good comedy at all. Anyway, back to 'Why me funny?" You’re funny for as many different combinations of reasons as there are people. Maybe you are really good at telling a joke and keeping a straight face through the punch line. (I, personally, am not. I can't tell a joke worth a damn, but we'll talk about that later)

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Maybe when you impersonate someone, it really seems like they are in the room. Maybe you're physically funny. I don't mean funny looking- I mean that when you tell a story, you can act things out in a funny way. Some people are all of these things- some are so themselves they can make people laugh just because their real persona is so "them". (That's just so like HIM, it's funny) The question is, which are you? When was the last time you feel like you really made someone laugh? When is the last time you feel like you really made a woman laugh? Where were you? What sort of company were you with? The answer to those questions will help you decide what sort of route you should take to becoming the funny guy that people want to be around.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

How To Begin To Amuse Well, the first thing you need to do if you want to make a beautiful woman laugh is to find one. And, here's the hardest part, you gotta talk to them too! That's right, no more binoculars. There are a number of sources out there available to help you with the exciting, yet rather daunting task of approaching a woman (Like my Art Of Approaching book). The only thing I'll say about it is this: practice makes perfect. Or in this case, close to perfect. Some girls just don't want to talk to ANYBODY- at least that's how it seems. The reality is that some of the time, a lady needs to be able to go to the store or the bar and be left alone. I'm sure we all know that feeling. Well, they get like that, too. And just like us, when they're in a mood like that, there are very few things that you can do to snap them out of it (unless, of course, you're a movie star or something). The good news is, the more you approach people, the better you get at it. You'll be more aware of who can be approached, and who WANTS you to approach them. It'll also get easier on your nerves, though in my experience, nerves never go away completely. There are a lot of ways to make people laugh. There are jokes you can memorize. There are movies (and TV, and music) you can quote. There are a dozen ways to get a laugh out of people - it's time to figure out the one (or ones) that will work best for you. All the questions that were asked at the end of the last section, do you have the answers? Because humans are creatures of habit, it's a good idea to pick something that you've done before with some success. Chances are if you've already done well with one style, you'll be good at getting comfortable using it. Don't limit yourself, though. After you're really comfortable with one thing, go on and try something else. Who knows, maybe you can do the best Al Pacino impression ever, but you've just never tried it out. The key here is having the right attitude. When you have a good attitude, people pick

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

up on it. This will make them loosen up around you. Also – with the right attitude, you can pretty much say anything around other people, and it’s fun! Be goofy. Be light-hearted. Be funny. Be able to laugh at yourself, and don’t take what you’re doing too seriously. There’s a difference between someone who’s genuinely trying to do an Al Pacino impersonation, and someone who’s just doing a half-assed version to be goofy. In one case, people will judge your skills as an impersonator. In another case, people will just dismiss your abilities and have a good time. A good rule of thumb is this – if you’re having a good time, other people will be having a good time. So just do things that amuse you, and others will fall in line.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Jokes Mau Se Tung was constipated for quite a while before he decided to visit a doctor. After the initial examination, the doctor identified the problem and gave Mau a bottle of 10 suppositories. The doctor said, "That should be enough to do the trick, but if you need more, please come and see me". Mau took the bottle home and, without reading the label, popped a suppository into his mouth and swallowed. After a few hours with no results, he took another. This process continued all night, and Mau's condition did not improve. The next day, Mau went back to the doctor's office. "I used the entire bottle with no results", Mau said. Bewildered, the doctor sarcastically said, "You've gone through that whole bottle in one day? What have you been doing, eating them?" Mau replied angrily, "What do you think I've been doing, shoving them up my ass?!" Jokes are basically a series of words strung together to make someone laugh. The problem with jokes are first, they have to be told properly, and second, the person hearing the joke can't have heard it before. I would recommend learning a few very simple jokes to help start conversation or get through dead spots, and leave it at that. Most jokes you hear are just a rehashing of a joke that's been told for like a billion years. Because of this, it's easy for the listener to determine the punch line before it's delivered. There are few things more awkward than sitting through a lengthy joke that is being told poorly, especially if you've already heard it before. Maybe you're the type of person who can keep a straight face through a long and involved joke. Most people aren't. If the latter describes you better than the former, pick a few easy, non offensive jokes to carry around with you for when the going gets tough, and leave the rest for the pros. Pretty much anything that an 8 year old could tell is fair game. Short jokes are easy to deliver, and if someone's already heard it, at least you haven't taken up too much of their time.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Go With Your Gut, Literally Though there are certain things that are almost universally funny, men and women tend to be amused differently. Guys will laugh at some pretty harsh stuff. Women will laugh at other women singing into a piece of celery held like a microphone. It's a hard thing to say what will make one person laugh and leave another wishing to get away. In fact, it's nearly impossible to determine who will laugh at what. The best thing I can tell you is to make sure if you don't get someone laughing, be positive that you don't offend them in the process. That being said, I think that the best way to joke but not offend is to have a good sense of humor about yourself. Making fun of yourself is easy, and there's new material available every day. Know your flaws, and don't be afraid to talk about them. This not only shows that you are confident and secure, but it also puts the other person at ease because they can feel better about their own flaws. When you can make light of yourself, it's easier for someone else to open up and talk about themselves without feeling that they will be judged harshly. You don't have to go all out and act like a fool, that can be disastrous. Just give yourself a few good ribbings, enough to let everyone know that you are well aware that no one, including yourself, is infallible. The only thing to remember is that while you are joking, make sure you don't get carried away and start getting down on yourself. No one wants to be around a bummer, so keep it light hearted and cute. You're not gonna drown if you don't go overboard in the first place.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Insults Once you've known a woman for a while, the two of you will be able to sit for hours and make fun of anyone and everything. But be sure to never insult the person you are with. There is a fine line between “teasing” and “pissing the girl off.” If you’re unsure what you’re going to say might be offensive, don’t say it. People don’t like to be made fun of, so insulting the girl you’re trying to impress is definitely a no-no. However, that said, you can make fun of anyone else you want while you’re with that person – as long as the person you are making fun of isn’t someone the woman you’re with cares about or likes. This is very important! If the girl you’re dating is a die hard republican, don’t start insulting George W. Bush. If she’s a Catholic, don’t start bad mouthing the Pope. These are extreme examples, but you get my drift, right? Instead, make fun of the creepy guy who keeps staring at her from across the room. If she’s complaining about someone, make fun of THAT person. Walk that fine line between being mean spirited and funny, and never, ever cross it. If you do, apologize immediately. It can be hard to recover from insulting the girl you’re with if you don’t ask for her forgiveness.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Represent Yourself Amato Yoshi once told Ginger, in an attempt to relate, that he really dug art. After only a few months, Amato Yoshi was forced to visit a bunch of museums and have countless discussions about something he really didn't dig. Just because a man and woman like different things doesn't mean that they can't get together. While it doesn't hurt to have something in common, it's not necessary to pretend that you do. It's difficult when you first meet someone not to agree with everything they are saying. When you get that immediate sense of approval, it's like a drug. The two of you are bouncing stuff off of each other, and you're each having a great time. A lot of guys fall into the trap of agreeing with a bunch of stuff just to keep that momentum going. Later they realize all the crap they said they enjoyed or had experience with. Or they don't, and end up at a dog show perplexed at how they got there. I find that, in this situation, honesty is once again the best policy. If a girl is starting to get into you, chances are she'll have done the same thing (though probably to a lesser extent). So, the next time the two of you meet, it's okay to say "yeah, I'm not really into rollerblades." Then she'll say," you know what? I've never even watched UFC." After that, the two of you will be off to dinner, and you'll both feel a little closer to the other because you've REALLY shared something. When you get really good at recognizing that you're talking out of your ass because you like a girl, try telling them that in the moment. People are very accepting of others making mistakes if they come clean before any damage is done. "I'm sorry, that thing I said about wishing I could go horseback riding right this secondthat's a lie. I went once when I was twelve, and I fell off. I don't know why I said that". She'll most likely laugh. Worst case scenario, she'll totally flip out and throw something at you while calling you a "pig". If that happens, it's much better to find out on the first day so you can get out of there. Or marry her, if that's what you're into. For a while, when I met new girls, whenever one asked me what kind of music I liked, I told them "almost none." They'd be so surprised that I didn't say "I like a little of everything," or "everything but country" that they'd have to ask more about it.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Then I could say one or two bands that I really DO like "lately I've only been listening to Skid Row and M.C. Hammer," and they'd laugh. Then I'd say I was serious, and they'd laugh harder. If they were to actually look at my "now playing" list on my iPod, they'd stop laughing in a hurry, but that's a tale for another time. In order to really show yourself off to a girl, you've gotta learn to like what you've got. Yeah, maybe you'll never play pro basketball, but you can do SOMETHING. There's nothing wrong with flaunting what you've got. It might be awkward, but that's because you're not used to it. You have to view yourself positively for others to do the same. So stop misrepresenting and PLAYA, REPRESENT!

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

The Devil's Advocate This is a hard one. Playing devil's advocate can really make for a good conversation. You get to really grill a person about what they believe - and it's kind of a power trip. It can be fun, but it's really easy to cross the line and just come off as a dick. Basically, this is only a good idea if you are used to being really playful and fun. As long as she knows that you're not really judging her, and you're not being serious, it's a sure way to get (or keep) the conversation flowing. The problem is that the devil's advocate role shifts the power structure of a discussion dramatically. You start forcing the other person to defend things about their beliefs and essentially back them into a corner. Conversation naturally changes from one subject to the next, and if you stop on one thing and basically demand to know why she thinks this way, you're taking a chance. If it was just something she was saying in passing, ("I think vanilla is better than chocolate") she might wonder what kind of a freak would pick that out and decide to argue about it. If it's something she has strong beliefs about and has spent a lot of time discussing with herself ("I think the death penalty should extend to rapists"), you could be entering a world of hurt. Playing devil's advocate, when done playfully and with good intentions, should lead to a minor argument that neither party will feel bad about in the end. It's useful because an argument focuses people's attention on each other in a very real way. You each make an impact on the other that won't be easily forgotten.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Don't Over React Chin and his girlfriend Honey were in the midst of an argument. They had both hurt the other's feelings many times that day, and continued to do so into the night. Finally, Chin decided that he'd had enough. He yelled at Honey and stormed from her apartment. In a last ditch effort to show off what he thought were alpha male qualities, he punched a steel door on the way out. As Chin walked the many blocks back to his own place, he felt satisfied, thinking, "she will be impressed by my bruise tomorrow- my masculinity will never be in question again". Honey sat in her apartment. She dried the tears from her eyes and composed herself. As she turned on the TV, she felt satisfied, thinking, "He is not the man I have thought he was these past two months, but a baby boy throwing tantrums and seeking a breast". We have about as much control over the emotions we experience as we do the weather. And I challenge any man to create or stop a thunderstorm. There are many different ways, however, that we can react to the emotions that seem to rain upon us from day to day. I am going to make a broad generalization here, and off the top of my head I can think of a few exceptions to this rule, but in almost all cases, never raise your voice and never cry. Oh yeah, and there's no exception to this one, never punch a wall (or, I suppose that at some point in some place there could be a "wall punching contest"- but unless the prize money is more than the cost of 3 doctor's visits, I'd avoid this one, too). Raising your voice almost never accomplishes what you hope. A strong man, and a man with true power, can speak in normal tones and get his point across. It is better to be Darth Vader, calm, collected and powerful, than it is to be Darth Maul, jumping around like an idiot with his double bladed light saber. If a woman is yelling at you, sit and listen until she's finished. Let her get it all out (if she doesn't, it'll come out at some other point when you're not expecting it). Then you can calmly agree or disagree with what she's said. If you just can't take it anymore, quietly excuse yourself. Say you're going to get an ice cream cone or something else that she might like and offer to bring her one back. Most likely, she'll get even madder ("this is our relationship, and you want a fudgesicle?!"). Assure her that you can continue the discussion when you return, but that right now, you just need a little time to think, and the yelling is getting in the way. Who could get mad about that?

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Some people say that a woman wants to see the sensitive side of the man she is with. This is true to a point. A woman wants to see that a man has a heart and can both feel and deal with what he is feeling. She doesn't want a man that goes to pieces. Most of us are not made of stone- some of your emotions are gonna come out eventually. That's good. I just wanted to say, in no uncertain terms, that there's no need to TRY to appear sensitive. It's a waste of time. You are human. At some point, you will feel every emotion a human is capable of feeling. Feigning these emotions cheapens them, and some would argue, makes you less receptive to experiencing the real thing. On the other hand, if you are in a situation where you can't help but react, it's a very bad thing to bottle that up. We've all seen the movie Armageddon. I once heard about a guy who tried not crying when Bruce Willis told Ben Affleck to take care of his little girl, and both his eyeballs popped out of his face. Anyway, you get the picture.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Control So, now that you're under control, maybe you're thinking, "how can I control her?" The answer is "NO!" There's some 70's or early 80's song that says "hold on loosely, but don't let go". That's perfect. You don't want to tell a woman what to do (if you do, you're in need of a very specific type of woman). There are two main problems that can arise from giving a girl orders. First, she might end up resenting you for acting like she's got no will of her own. Second, if she's following your orders and she ends up unhappy, it's totally YOUR fault. Both of these situations suck. This isn't to say that you shouldn't set up boundaries. The key is to set up boundaries for yourself, and let her know in no uncertain terms both what they are, and when she's crossed one. For example, most guys aren't into a woman cheating on them. You let her know that YOU would never be able to forgive that action. Don't say that she can't cheat on youthe fact is that she can. Easily. Let her know how you want to live. If she wants to be with you, she'll act accordingly. You in turn should encourage her to tell you what sorts of things she doesn't want to be around. (If you're with her long enough, you'll inevitably run into something that she forgot to mention. That's just how the cookie crumbles. If you can't deal with it, maybe you just don't like women enough.) Anyway, being a control freak isn't good for your own state of mind in a relationship. Really, do you want to feel responsible for not just your actions, but for her actions, too? To me, it seems like a whole lot of work for nothing. When you put the idea in ANYONE'S head that they can't do something, that person will want to do it. The truth is, she can do whatever, whenever she feels like it anyway. It's counter productive to maintain a list of things to worry about. It's also less fun for you, which will in turn be less fun for her, which in turn will make both of you want to be in the relationship a little less.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

On Being an Extravert By definition, an extravert is a person whose attention and interests are directed wholly or predominantly toward what is outside the self. In real talk, an extravert is a person who is focused on interacting with other people. An introvert would be the exact opposite. When it comes to meeting people, an extravert certainly has a leg up. He can't wait to go out and talk to others - and his natural inclination to do so has been with him since he was very young (so he's got a lot of practice). Because of this, an extravert not only has the skills to strike up and hold a conversation, he's got the desire to put those skills into action. So, what do you do if you're not an extravert? I'd say try faking it. Now, honesty is still the best policy, but if you aren't comfortable going out and getting into the game, being honest with yourself means that you recognize that a change needs to be made. The best way to make a change, in this case, is to tell yourself over and over again that you're more comfortable than you are, just to get the ball rolling. After a while, you WILL be an extravert. It's not only a fact that extraverts meet more people, it's also one of the traits that women equate with sexual desirability. Being open and talkative is good. Being those things while focusing on the person you're talking to (as opposed to yourself) can be even better.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Presence How often you see someone is, of course, directly related to how often that person thinks about you. It is not, however, the only factor. You can see someone every day, but not leave an impression. The next time you see someone that you see everyday, make sure to say hello, and give a smile. The more interaction you have with someone, the more that person will think of you. This is how friendships and relationships alike are built. This sort of small interaction is especially important in classrooms and the work place. Both of these scenarios are easy places to have good interactions and meet new people. You are in a group of people with a common goal, so you've already got something to talk about. You are also in a situation where you both HAVE to be there, so there's no question that you will see this person again. The best thing to do here is to start talking to people during breaks or before or after the class or workday. It doesn't have to be about anything important. The simplest thing is to take something from that day that you know had an effect on everyone in the room, and (after introducing yourself), asking the other's opinion about that particular thing. It's so easy, a caveman could do it! I know how easy it is to admire someone from afar. But if you ever want something more than to stare like a weirdo from across the room, you're gonna have to bite the bullet and talk to them. Once the initial encounter is over, you have taken your presence to a different level. You are no longer an object in the room, you are a person to be interacted with. Now that you've become a person as opposed to a chair, it's time to make an impression. When you see someone you recognize on the street, you want them to recognize you as well. The problem is people, especially pretty girls, have little conversations all the time with a ton of different people. You need to make yourself stand out.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Of the infinite ways there are to make an impression, there are only two types of impressions that can be made - positive and negative. A positive impression is a thing of beauty. It makes people want more of you. A negative impression will do the opposite. But both will make you recognizable. When you first start talking to someone, the relationship between the two of you is a blank slate. Initially, you can go either up or down - believe me, there is no neutral. Remaining neutral is going down. We all know that a positive first impression is the ideal way to go. A negative impression, however, can still be worked with. After a first encounter that leads to a negative impression, a person's expectations of you will be low, and they might not want to bother with you. If you can once again get them talking, however, and you change that negative impression to a positive one- that person is left delighted. Think about the people you've interacted with that have left good impressions on you. Did they make you laugh? Did you feel a connection to them? Did being around them seem like a privilege in itself? This is what you must strive to be. In the end, you'll be glad you put in the effort.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Gifts A "gift" here is going to encompass anything that is given to someone else at cost to you that you will not be reimbursed for. It includes flowers, drinks, rides, food, etc. When you first meet a girl, GIVE PRESENTS SPARINGLY IF AT ALL! A girl that you have just met isn't your friend yet. Don't go showering her with gifts just because she's pretty. In a lot of cases, this will make her uncomfortable because she will think that you're expecting something in return. It will also make you broke. Think about it. If a dude you didn't know came up to you at a coffee shop and started buying you danishes, you'd be wondering what his problem was. A new girl is basically a stranger until you've gone out a few times. You don't owe her anything, so don't act like you do. Now, you don't have to be a jerk about it - and don't be cheap. If you’re the one to invite her out, it’s usually good practice to pay for the date. It’s okay to be generous and chivalrous on a date, as long as you don’t expect the girl to reciprocate. The point here isn’t that you want the girl to pay for stuff when you’re out. It’s that you don’t try and “bribe” her for her affections by getting her gifts, flowers, jewelry, or whatever. Do not reward a girl with these generosities if she hasn’t EARNED them. If you’re in a serious relationship with a woman, by all means, spoil her rotten. But only reward behavior you want from her. Don’t just start dropping your hard earned cash because you’re a sucker for a pretty face.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Where to Meet People If you're a charming and confident person, you can meet people anywhere. Some places, however, are decidedly easier than others. Parties: A party is a place where people tend to let their guard down and are very open to meeting someone new. It's a great place to mingle. It's even better when you are friends with or happen to be the person who is throwing the party. All of a sudden, you're the cool guy that everyone wants to talk to. The problem with a party is that it costs money, and requires a lot of clean up. There is, in my opinion, no better place to meet people. Which is something nice to think about that when you're cleaning puke off of your ceiling. Bars: This is sort of the old standby. Bars are good places to meet women because there are lots of women around. Some of them are there specifically to meet guys. There is also a great deal of alcohol in a bar, which tends to loosen people up. I find that the biggest drawback with a bar is that women know that they are surrounded by men who want to get with them. They are often colder than in other venues, and they are certainly more on their guard. It's also difficult to the untrained eye to spot which girls are there to meet people and which are there for other reasons. Another drawback is that your competition is gonna be huge. When a woman looks around the room and sees a bunch of other dudes, it's likely that she'll wonder what they're like. Unless you're being completely captivating, there's a good chance you're not gonna be the only one she talks to that evening. In addition, some bars are really loud. You can't even ask a girl what her sign is if she can't hear you. Coffee houses: Very similar to a bar, but less pressure. I've always found that a lot of people go to coffee shops just because they're bored, and are there to find something to do. Coffee shops are really conducive to being social. Use this to your advantage. Work: So many people say that you should never date a person from work, and for good reason. If everything goes perfectly, there's no problem. If something goes wrong, though, you've got to see that person EVERY SINGLE DAY until one of you stops working there. Work is, however, a great place to meet people to hang out with, who will in turn have friends of their own for you to meet. The friend of a friend is wonderful because you don't have to worry about approaching or impressing anybodyyou're already there. If there's ever a work function, it's in your best interests to attend, and when people go out after work, it's a good idea to go along. It might even be worth it to get a part time job that you don't really care about bussing tables or washing dishes. One or two days a week in a restaurant could lead to a ton of new people to hang out with. Gatherings: There's always something going on somewhere. Whether it's a wine tasting, a gallery opening or a Star Trek convention, you're bound to find something to do on any given night. Check your local listings to see what events are coming up and

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

go to them. Try and find stuff that you're already interested in. These are great places to strike up a conversation, and since everyone there has similar interests, it's an easy sell. Classes: If any of you are in college, cherish it. It's probably the easiest place in the world to be exposed to new people. If not, there's nothing wrong with signing up for a class at a university or community college. Ever wanted to be scuba certified? Maybe it's time to do that, and meet some people along the way. The really cool thing about a class is that, even if you don't get a date, you've gained some knowledge that'll expand your horizons that much more which makes you a more interesting person. It's pretty much a win/ win situation. Church Functions: If you’re religious, attend the different activities and functions your church puts on. This is not only a great way to meet women, but it’s also a great way to meet women who share the same beliefs as you. Take advantage of this whenever you can. The Internet: Yes, the internet is readily available, and perfect for any man willing to use it to his advantage. There are tons of dating sites out there with single women actively looking for men to date. You have no excuse to not use the internet to meet women and set up dates – especially with all the free options available to you, like Myspace and Facebook. The most important thing to remember is that you can't meet anybody unless you go out and do something. And the more times you go out, the more people you'll meet, and the more opportunities you'll have to go out. A vicious cycle, I know, but totally worth the trouble.

Copyright 2008 Bizlancer Inc., All Rights Reserved

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Forward, March! Oruku Saki had a long standing friendship with Misty, though secretly, he'd always hoped for something more. One night, while the two were watching television, Oruku got up the nerve to try and kiss her. As he made his move, Misty, like a sholin monk, dodged his advance. After his subsequent retreat, and a half hour discussion, Misty agreed to one kiss, more out of pity and frustration than desire. It was a flop, as it had to be. Misty would have much rather been kissing someone else, and the woman Oruku had hoped to kiss had ceased to exist after the first night the two met. A terrible situation that most guys have been in is the friend trap. You end up spending a lot of time with a girl that you have strong feelings for, and she ends up thinking of you as a brother or a friend she can tell anything to. This situation is incredibly frustrating for both parties. It is, though, fairly easy to avoid. As soon as you have a report with a woman, you have to let her know what your intentions are. She can throw you into that friend category faster than you can say "abstinence", so be quick about it. You don't have to tell her all of your sick fantasies (please don't do that), but you do have to make it very clear that you're not looking for another friend. While there's no exact timetable, I'd say that if you've seen each other one on one more than twice without mentioning your physical attraction to her, or flirting with her in some way, you're skating on thin ice. A way to avoid this completely is to tell her the first time you hang out that you’re interested in being more than friends. One thing that makes this easier is making sure that when you ask her to do something, you call it a date. Friends don't go on dates - the word itself sends a message. You should also state, in some fashion, that you find her attractive the first time you hang out. For some of you, this might seem like a bold move. I assure you that it is not. Put it this way, if you tell her up front that you're into her, she'll have to consider if she's into you. A woman won't want you to get the wrong impression, trust me. So, if she doesn't see you as a potential mate, she'll let you know. Unless of course you're showering her with gifts (which you shouldn't be doing anyway) and she's dishonest.

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Doing this up front is also a very strong move that takes some courage, so the very fact that you did it might make her that much more attracted to you. There is a difference between being forward and being pushy. Forward means that you are stating what is true and what you hope will happen in a non threatening manner. Pushy is trying to make something happen when it isn't already occurring. Forward is good for everybody. Everyone sees what's on the table and what can be gained or lost depending on what happens next. Pushy, at best, gets you to the next level of intimacy at a faster rate than normal. While I've certainly heard advice to the contrary, I believe that women, with very few exceptions, do not respond to pushy. Also, who has the time to push their way into something? If you're showing your best and sending out what you genuinely feel, it'll happen. Or it won't, but you'll find out quickly and can move on. I've just never seen the point of trying to coerce someone into something they don't feel like doing. There's no real benefit, and it doesn't come close to feeling as good as when things fall into place naturally. I guess it comes down to this: would you rather get physical with someone who will find you disgusting and rude the next day, or cut your losses and meet someone new who might turn out to be something truly special and like you for what you are? The choice, to me at least, is obvious.

Copyright 2008 Bizlancer Inc., All Rights Reserved

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Admitting Fault I've heard people say that you shouldn't apologize for anything. I've also heard the opposite. As both these statements are absolutes, it's likely that the truth lies somewhere in the middle. As a rule, I suppose that women really don't want a man who apologizes all the time. Hearing "I'm sorry" ad nauseum isn't what anyone would call attractive. It not only sounds weak, but god help you if you really screw something up - what do you say then? I mean, if you've already said you're sorry 50 times that day, where do you turn when something really goes wrong? Women are also turned off by a man who can't admit when he's wrong. If you make a mistake, it's okay to fess up. It is, in fact, good to fess up immediately. When you've crossed a line, and you know it, there's no reason but false pride to not admit that you went too far. Society has a saying about it taking a big man to admit when he's wrong. I'd take it a step further and say that being able to admit when you're wrong can, in time, make you a bigger man.

Copyright 2008 Bizlancer Inc., All Rights Reserved

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Moderation Jin and Hetochi attended a party, where Hetochi consumed six 40 ounce bottles of beer. Jin exclaimed, "Hetochi, six 40's is an assload! We should probably get you home before you die"! Hetochi mumbled something in what may as well have been Korean, then the pair started the walk home. "Six 40's I had!" Hetochi said laughing. Jin replied, "Watch out for the curb." After stumbling over about 5 curbs, Hetochi proclaimed himself the "king of curbs". Then he jumped on Win Chan's car and told Chan's girlfriend that her roomate was hotter than she was. The next morning brought Hetochi not only a hangover, but some good advice. Just because you CAN drink six 40's, doesn't mean you SHOULD. It is a fact, as well as a cliche, that all things are good in moderation. There's rarely anything wrong with something that is partaken here and there. Just for the sake of being fair, Hetochi, to my knowledge, had not before, and has not since, consumed six 40 ounces of beer. Which is a good thing. Be it alcohol or cigarettes, strip clubs or even video games, none of these are a big deal when they aren't the focus of all your free time. Once again, make sure you are doing more than one thing all the time. If it starts to feel like every day is the same, it's time to change your days. When you’re with a girl, and things get boring, both parties start to get restless. This is when break-ups and fights occur. If you guys try and make things exciting all the time, it’s too much work, and both people get worn out and awnry. Moderation is about peaks and valleys. Never allow things to get boring, but don’t cut yourself off from excitement. Take her out on a date once a week. Do something fun one night. Catch a movie. And spend the other days relaxing at home. When you can balance fun and relaxation in a relationship, you’ll keep it strong for a long, long time.

Copyright 2008 Bizlancer Inc., All Rights Reserved

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

Accentuate The Positive Bad things are bound to happen. Situations will arise that are gonna suck. Lots of times, you will have no control over what is going on. While you can't change what's already happened, you certainly have every control over what you take from it. At the very least, every new scenario offers new experience. Best case scenario, however, you can turn that situation around all together and walk away with a fun time. All of us will get rejected. It will happen over and over again. Your job as a guy isn't to get with every girl you see - not only is it impossible, it would turn out to be a real pain very quickly. The true task is to get yourself out there and be the best you can be. If you can get a handle on yourself, getting rejected becomes not only easier to deal with, but a badge of honor. Every woman that turns you down equals a time you tried. And every time you try you'll get better. At first it's hard to wrap your head around the idea that you can get rejected through no fault of your own - but it's the truth. You don't have to do anything wrong for a woman to say no. Rejection is inevitable. You have to make a conscious decision to deal with it in a positive way. This means leaving the situation gracefully. When a man gets rejected, he should use that opportunity to make a good impression on anyone within earshot. Keeping composure after getting shot down shows that you are better than the situation. You already have something else on your agenda, and while talking to that girl was okay, leaving that conversation is not the end of the world, or even the end of your night. Look on the bright side of things, and protect your positivity. If you turn negative, depressed, or whatever, you will drive people away from you when you want to be attracting them.

Copyright 2008 Bizlancer Inc., All Rights Reserved

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

It's a Long Story Yip Wai-Shun was at a local bar watching the world end on a big screen TV. Li Kuo-Hsing brought some drinks to the table and sat down. Together, the two watched the footage over and over again. Plane hits tower, tower falls down. Thoroughly convinced that he might not be there in the morning, Yip scanned the room to see if any pretty girls were around. No matter the situation, leave it to a dude to let his mind stray to sex. We think about it often, even when we should be thinking about something else. On the path to sex, it's good to stop and smell the roses. The road that leads to hooking up can be full of very interesting experiences - ones that we don't want to miss. The prospect of sex, however blinding, shouldn't make us close our eyes to the things around us that make life good. To put it another way, though sex is a goal in itself, it shouldn't be the only focus. You should be enjoying all the things that lead up to the moment - the good conversation, the camaraderie, the whole experience. Guys can get so focused on getting laid that they miss everything along the way. When you're having fun, stop and enjoy it. If that particular night doesn't lead to hooking up, it will seem less significant if you've already had a fun and fulfilling experience. Yip spotted a girl sitting alone at the bar. She was very attractive. He built up his courage and went over to talk to her. "Hello," he said, "I'm Yip WaiShun. Would you like to join me and my friend Li Kou-Hsing at our table?" She asked if he was planning on buying her a drink. He replied, "I'm not going to buy you a drink, but maybe Li will. Why don't you join us and ask him?" The girl, Summer, joined the table. Sure enough, Li bought her a drink. The three talked for hours about whether or not they'd be alive the next day. Just in case they were, she gave Yip her phone number before they parted ways. Stay strong. Keep trying. When you're discouraged, and you will be, you can take solace in the knowledge that you've been applying yourself. It takes a lot of practice to get good at meeting girls. It takes that much more practice to change those meetings from simple encounters into legitimate dates. Try and remember that you can't meet people in a vacuum. If you want a girl's number, you're going to have to ask for it. Courage builds on itself. The more you ask, the more you'll receive. The more you

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

receive, the more your confidence will increase. The more your confidence increases, the easier it will be to ask, and the more likely you will receive. After a while, you'll be able to talk to anyone. Even if you still get nervous (which is pretty common), you'll be able to make a good impression because you've practiced. Completely ignoring any advice he'd heard on the subject, Yip called Summer the next day. When she didn't answer, he left a message on her answering machine (remember those?). Then he called her again and again and left even more messages. Over the next week, he left no less than one message a day, and sometimes as many as three. When he was finally ready to give up, he got a call from Summer asking him to hang out. They got together and had a great evening. She told him that she had been very busy over the last few days and hadn't had time to return his calls. Yip would later learn that this was a lie; that she was turned off by the amount of times he'd called her, but at the same time she HAD to find out what sort of a man would do such an obviously ridiculous thing. Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. To an extent, so is charm. Advice can take you only so far - after that it's up to you. I wouldn't recommend calling a woman you've just met a million times. It's a generally bad idea. In Yip's case, however, it worked. What I'm getting at is that no matter how good the advice you get is, it can still fail. No matter how bad your natural tendencies are, there's most likely a girl out there who'll be intrigued anyway. Sometimes, there's just no telling what will make a woman interested in you. I guess the only thing we can do is to be ourselves first. Then, if what you're doing isn't working out, it's time to modify your strategy. After an extremely intense and wonderful few months, the relationship ended. Summer ran off with a bouncer from the club, and Yip entered a deep and lengthy depression. Over time he got better. The bouts of hopelessness became fewer and farther between. He got back on his feet, and once again entered the world of dating- wiser this time with the experience of having made so many mistakes. Yip couldn't have done it, however, without the help of his boys. They made him go out. They made him laugh. Summer was gone, but because of his friends, Yip's winter wasn't near as harsh or long as it could've been. Unless you and Miss Thang are together forever, the laughter will eventually end. Let me put this as “gay” as possible… While you're recovering and licking your wounds, there will be some that are difficult to reach (you know, like in the middle of your back).

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Charm School: How To Use Your Personality To Win The Heart Of Any Woman

That's where your buddies come in and help you lick. Keep your friends close. They're there to pick you up when you need it most, and you should always be there to do the same. Relationships will come and go, but a good friend never leaves you. Fellas, you gotta appreciate one another. When that woman comes along, don't leave your boys in the dust. A truly charming guy isn't just friendly, he's a good friend. Don't you want to be that guy?

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