Author: Yongel

Chapter 1 The flat phone was ringing off the hook. I refused to answer the phone. I still had not had enough rest. It was a Saturday morning. It was the best day to laze in bed. I heard a door open. Great someone was going to pick up the phone. Peace at last. I hugged my pillow and burrowed under my blanket. Just when I thought it was time for more sleep I heard a knock on my door. “Awwwww…” I groaned. “Taeyeon ah it‟s your call.” Yuri said sleepily. “Ok. Thanks.” I said and pulled myself out of bed with great effort. I opened my room door just in time to see Yuri drag her feet back to her own room. She was definitely going back to bed.

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I wonder who could be calling so early in the morning. I could still smell the scent of morning dew. It took me forever to reach the phone. The receiver was placed on the table. I plonked down onto the one seater sofa and reached for it. I placed the receiver against my ear. “Hello…” I said sounding groggy. I wonder if it was an important call. After all the person has been calling persistently. “Good morning! It‟s time to wake up! We have to do our grocery shopping!” The voice over the phone said with much energy. I pulled my ears away from the receiver slightly. I looked up at the round steel clock mounted on the dark grey wall in front of me. It was only 7.45am. I don‟t understand why we have to get up so early just to go grocery shopping.

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“Yaaaa. Can‟t it wait? Let‟s go later in the afternoon.” I said and hung up. I took precautions and placed the receiver off its hook. There it was; my solution to a peaceful and quiet morning. It was only the first week of school. I was in my second year of university. Yuri and I had been flatmates for the past year. We were living in a 2nd storey flat on campus. Our rent was now more expensive because we chose the dorm with only two bedrooms. Previously we had to share our dorm with four others. For the current flat, once you entered the main door, to the right was the open kitchen with an island counter in the middle, and to the left would be our living room where our TV and phone were placed. Further down the hallway would be my room on the left and her room on the right. At the end of the hallway was the bathroom. It sat in between both our rooms. The best has yet to come. The both of us had our own private balconies as well. It was a neat arrangement we had here. We enjoyed the privacy. It beats sharing a dorm with five others.

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The curtains to my balcony door were flying gracefully in the wind. It was the perfect morning to be sleeping. I lay in bed and started to doze off again. *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG* I got awakened to a rude shock. It seemed like heavy pounding on the front door. Goodness. Why can‟t I just get to sleep in on a Saturday morning? “KIM TAEYEON OPEN UP!” It was her. *Ding-dong* *Ding-dong* “KIM TAEYEON!” I refused to budge. I shouted to Yuri. “YURI AH DON‟T EVER OPEN THAT DOOR!” I took my ear plugs and stuffed it in my ears. Ahhhh..Silence at last. Ear plugs were a very useful set of accessories. This is so especially when you live in a school hostel with a big population

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of students. You will be amazed at the kind of noises you get to hear. From creaking beds to quarrelling couples to crazy drunk students running around and shouting in the late of the night, and now loud pounding on the door; ear plugs proved to be essential. This was also why Yuri and I decided to pay more for our two bedroom dorm. The more people there were the more conflict there would be. We made our choice. We chose peace and now I have peace. I placed my hands around my other pillow and pulled it closer to my chest. It was a soft feathered pillow, the perfect sleeping companion along with my sturdy yet comfortable super single bed. I was slowly returning to dreamland again. I was sure that nothing else could interrupt my sleep on this fine Saturday morning again. I was too quick to think that. I felt a sudden weight on my body. It shocked me yet again. I opened my eyes to see her sitting on top of me. She was bouncing up and down.

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Her lips were moving. I was puzzled. How did she get in? Did Yuri let her in? I had my ear plugs on so I couldn‟t hear a single sound she was saying. It was better that way too. I showed her an expression of irritation. “Get off me now!” I roared. She ignored me and continued on. My room door swung open. I turned and saw Yuri standing there with dropped jaws. She mumbled something quickly and shut the doors again. I turned back and I realised what it seemed like to Yuri. I was laying down and there was someone sitting on top of me. Daaaaaamn. What a Saturday. I sighed in defeat. “Ok ok get off me. I‟ll wash up and we can go grocery shopping.” I pulled out my ear plugs and her laughter filled my ears. Chapter 2 I walked out the door and turned left to the bathroom. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Yuri was already there brushing her teeth. “Good morning. I‟m sorry about the noise and disturbance.” Yuri nodded and said a few words. It was muffled but it seemed like she said that it was ok. Yuri spat out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth with water. I was already brushing my teeth. “So who‟s that girl? Some new fling of yours?” Yuri said poking fun at me. I rolled my eyes. That answered her question. “Well she sure is cute though.” Yuri proceeded to wash her face. I spat out the toothpaste. “You can have her if you want. It‟s only the first weekend and she‟s driving me nuts. Please take her away from me. I‟ll be really thankful for that. I really wanted to sleep in.” “I know I wanted to sleep in too.”

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We were done washing and we walked out of the bathroom together. Before Yuri returned to her room she wished me good luck. I stepped in through the door to see that she was lazing in my bed. “You get off my bed already. How did you get in anyway? Did Yuri let you in?” I asked curious. “Nope.” She said shaking her head. She pointed at the balcony door. “You climbed in??” I was amazed. She nodded her head showing a satisfied smile. “Wow you did all that just to make me go grocery shopping with you?” I said my eyes wide open. She sat upright. “Well you promised me to go so here I am. I always get what I want.” She replied in a confident manner. I shook my head in exasperation. “I give up. Now get out so I can change. Unless you rather I go back to bed again?” I said sarcastically.

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“Ok I‟ll go out and wait for you. If I find that you have gone back to bed I‟ll make sure I break your door down.” She threatened as she stood up. She was towering over me. She was born with beautiful long legs. That is no wonder climbing up the balcony was an easy feat for her. I changed and I walked out into the living room to see that Yuri was having her breakfast at the breakfast counter. Yoona was sitting there beside her. They were chatting. “I see the both of you have already met.” I said as I picked up a bowl and filled it with milk and cereal. “Yes we have because you took forever to change.” Yoona stuck her tongue out at me. “So Yuri do you want to join us and go grocery shopping together?” Yoona asked looking at Yuri with her gorgeous round eyes. Yuri almost choked on her cereal. She coughed. “Omo are you ok?” Yoona asked concerned as she patted Yuri‟s back. “Yes yes I‟m fine and yes I would love to go grocery shopping as well.” Yuri replied.

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Her face was red from all that coughing. Was it? Yoona was my neighbour back at home. We were very close. We were practically like sisters. She is currently in her first year in University and she specifically chose this school because I study here. Due to the busy week she had I haven‟t had the chance to introduce her to Yuri yet. “Anyway Yuri just so you know Yoona is my childhood friend. We are really just friends and nothing else.” I felt the need to clarify the situation further. Yoona stood up and walked over to me. “Are we really?” She said seductively. She ran her fingers down the back of my neck. The milk in my mouth sprayed out. “Yaaa IM YOONA! Stop fooling around. It tickles!” I said glaring at her. She just laughed and sat down between me and Yuri. Yuri got up and handed me a paper towel. She finished her cereal quickly and rinsed her bowl.

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“I‟ll go and get changed first so we can get going soon.” Yuri walked along the doorway and disappeared behind her room door. I continued eating what was left of my cereal. “So how are the people in your dorm?” I asked Yoona. “Well my flat is infested with people and everyone is always queuing to use the toilet or the kitchen. It can be quite irritating. Well but at least my flatmates are nice people. You can meet them later when you help me to bring my groceries back to my flat.” “Sure.” I said as I finished the last bit of my cereal. Yuri walked out at that same moment. “Just in time. Let‟s go.” Yoona said to the both of us. We went out the door and walked down the stairs. The sun was shining brightly and there were birds chirping cheerily. It was a pleasant day to be out. Although it would have been much better if I were in bed sleeping. Yoona hooked on to my arms as we walked.

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At the foot of the steps was a little red brick path that connected all the two storey hostels on campus. My Dorm was situated at a little corner. There were only two more buildings sharing the same path as ours. They were sharing a single staircase and connected the 2nd storey of the two flats. Those two buildings formed a little arch over the path. The further we walked the more the path branched out. The further we got the noisier it got as well. After about three minutes we were surrounded by six twostorey apartments. So in total there would be twelve dorms in total shared by six each which would total to seventy-two people living there. Now you know why Yuri and I shifted. Yoona pointed upwards at one of the 2nd storey flats. “There see that room there? That‟s my room.” It was the second window from the balcony. These flats had no private balconies in each room. The layout was similar to ours just that they had three rooms on each side of the corridor and a bigger bathroom at the end of the hallway. The kitchen was on one side and the living room was on the other. The balcony was connected to the living room. Through the doors of the balcony it could be seen that there was barely any movement in the flat. I believe most of them were still asleep.

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“Yoona I can‟t believe you. Why do you have to wake me up and in the process wake my flat mate up so early just to go grocery shopping with you? Are you mad. Get accustomed to school in university. Nobody wakes up early on the weekends.” “We have to wake up early to get the freshest food. If we arrive late everything is going to be gone.” Yoona explained herself. Yuri agreed with her. “Hmph Yuri is better than you.” Yoona said releasing my arms and then taking Yuri‟s instead. Yuri just smiled and continued walking on. “Yaaaa Kwon Yuri switching sides so soon?” I teased. She knew what I meant. “I‟m not taking sides with anyone. I‟m taking sides with sense.” She replied quick-wittedly. She was just so smooth sometimes. I have to pick that up from her. We finally arrived at the bus stop. The sun was shining down on us. It was getting slightly warmer. I pulled my hood over my head to block out the sunlight. It was already the beginning of autumn and the weather was slowly getting cooler.

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The time it took to wait for the bus and the time it took to travel to the grocery store was about fifteen minutes. The bus journey was approximately three minutes. The rest of it was purely waiting. We could have walked but I was feeling lazy. We bought a whole lot of stuff and headed back to Yoona‟s flat. It was already about 9.30am. We climbed up the stairs and Yoona unlocked the main door to her flat. We could hear the sound of the television playing softly in the background. Who could it be this early? “Good morning Seohyun. This is Taeyeon and Yuri.” Yoona said introducing us. The girl looked over and smiled sweetly. “Good morning and nice to meet you.” We smiled back. We unpacked the groceries for Yoona and kept it away in the already half full fridge. That is what happens when you live in a flat with five others.

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We proceeded to Yoona‟s room. Her door number said 202. I sat down on her bed and Yuri sat down on her study chair. “So how are your flatmates like? Anyone weird so far?” Yuri asked. We have had our fair share of a few odd people here and there. “Yes and any hot girls so far?” I added on. Yoona laughed. “You‟re looking at one now.” She said looking back at me. “Yeah I already know you‟re weird.” I said to her. She pounced on me and started tickling me. “Yuri ah! Help me!” I said in between laughter. I was not laughing because I was happy. I was laughing because it tickled. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. “Yaa yaaa Yoona stop already someone is looking for you.” I tried to make her stop. “Yuri can you get the door for me.” Yoona requested while she continued tickling me. The door opened. There was a petite girl with sharp beautiful

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features. She was beautiful. I saw that Yuri thought the same too. I saw a stunned look on her face. “Can you keep it down? It is still early and I haven‟t gotten enough rest yet.” The girl said and left. “Oops.” Yoona said finally releasing me from her grip. “So who‟s that?” Yuri asked the exact same question that was on my mind. “That is the second most beautiful girl in this flat besides me.” Yoona said giving a cheeky smile. She refused to give away her name. “Damn we should have stayed in one of these flats.” Yuri joked. “So anymore beauties like her?” I probed. “Well you‟ve met Seohyun. She‟s a studious person. She‟s very proper so don‟t even think about it. She‟s in the room on my left. The beauty you just met is in the room to my right. I haven‟t really interacted much with them yet but the person in the room opposite of mine is named Sunny and the room opposite of Seohyun belongs to someone named Hyoyeon. Hyoyeon is a dance fanatic she is rarely around. She‟s always out practicing her dance. The only room left belongs to this really really tall girl. Her name is Sooyoung and she‟s really tall.

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She eats a lot too.” “Wow so you have told us all about your flat mates. All except one. So tell us more.” I said curious about the girl. Although she didn‟t seem very pleasant when she came over but she sure is one really attractive person. Anyway who could be pleasant when they were disrupted from their sleep? “All I‟m saying is that she‟s from the states. And DON‟T even think about it. She has a boyfriend.” Yoona said crushing my hopes. Yuri and I looked at each other and went, “Awwwww what a waste.” And then we just laughed. Chapter 3 Yuri and I returned to our peace and quiet groceries in hand. “Interested in Yoona?” I asked casually. The both of us were very open with such topics. “And you? Interested in the mysterious beauty?” She returned with a question. We laughed. “I have to say she is really beautiful. I mean I haven‟t seen such an attractive girl in such a long time. You get what I mean Author : Yongel [email protected]

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don‟t you?” I said as I climbed up the stairs to our flat. “Of course I do. I haven‟t seen so many attractive girls in such a long time not to say in one morning.” Yuri said sounding a little amazed. “So you finally admit that Yoona is attractive?” I said laughing. We set the our groceries down. Yuri opened the fridge and started unpacking our groceries. “Yes she is. I already told you this morning. I think she‟s cute. I think the girl from the states is cute too.” Yuri said knowing that I was clearly attracted to that girl. “Yes and Yoona emphasized that she has a boyfriend. Which part of boyfriend don‟t you understand?” I said feeling slightly disappointed. I would have gone for her if not for the fact that she has a boyfriend. “Well I don‟t understand the B-O-Y part of boyfriend.” Yuri said openly. I laughed. I felt the same way. We stashed the last bit of food and went back to our rooms. I sat down on my red two-seater and leaned back comfortably. I picked up the remote control and switched on my TV.

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Even though we had a TV in the common area both Yuri and I had our own TV as well. The TV was mounted on the far wall. The couch was placed in front of it and to the left was the balcony. Behind the couch was my bed and to the right was the door to my bedroom. The study table was placed on to the right of the TV flushed against the wall. Yuri‟s room was a mirror of mine. I started surfing channels. I could not concentrate on what was playing on the screen. All that was playing in my head was her face. If there were any girl whom I would call my dream girl, it was her. I started spacing out. I heard a knock on my door. It distracted me for a moment. “Come in.” I called out knowing it was Yuri. Yuri came in and she sat down on the couch beside me. I could tell that something was on her mind as well. Both of us were love struck. I was pretty sure of that. “So this Yoona of yours. The both of you are just close friends? She seems pretty physical with you.” Yuri started making her intention pretty obvious with her question. “Yes we‟re just close like that. We grew up together. If anything were to happen it would have happened a long time

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ago.” I reassured Yuri. “So. She likes girls?” Yuri asked another question again clearly stating that she has interest in Yoona. “Well Yes she does. So don‟t worry about it.” I said as I saw a joy flood Yuri‟s face. “Great.” Yuri clasped her hands together and stood up. She thanked me as she left my room. She had her answer but I was still stuck. I was stuck in the moment where that girl appeared in the doorway. Not only was she beautiful. She had a sweet voice. I could imagine her calling out my name. “Taeyeon ah, Taeyeon.” I thought I heard wrong but someone was really calling out for me. I turned my head to see Yuri standing in my doorway. “Oh Yuri what‟s up?” Yuri was fiddling with the door knob. I instantly knew it had something to do with Yoona. “So I was thinking why don‟t we ask Yoona over for dinner tonight?” Yuri suggested.

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“Great idea! Let‟s go to Yoona‟s for dinner tonight. I‟ll call her.” I stood up and walked to the living room. Yuri followed behind me. I picked up the phone and dialled Yoona‟s flat number. The phone rang for a bit before someone picked up. “Hello.” It sounded like Seohyun. “Hi may I speak to Yoona please.” “Ok sure. Just a moment.” I heard the TV in the background. Keroro was on. “Hello?” Yoona finally came to the phone. “Hey it‟s Taeyeon here. Anyway since we carried your groceries all the way to your flat for you don‟t you think you should prepare some dinner for Yuri and I? You woke her up this morning too. You better make up for it with a good dinner. We‟ll drop by at 5pm tonight. See you.” “But..” I hung up before Yoona could complete her sentence. Yuri was waiting patiently beside me. “So what‟s the verdict?” She asked with bated breath.

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“Whatever it is we‟re inviting ourselves over for dinner tonight.” I said satisfied. I was an opportunist. I just created an opportunity for both Yuri and myself. It felt good. “Don‟t think I don‟t know what‟s going on in your head. Thanks anyway.” Yuri said to me with her know it all face. Yes it was obvious that I was attracted to that girl. Yuri and I had our lunch. We were restless the entire time after lunch so we ended cleaning the entire dorm. It seemed like a long time before it was finally 4pm. I finally voiced out. “I can‟t take it anymore. Let‟s go over and see if Yoona needs help.” Yuri consented. I knew she would. She was feeling as impatient as I was. The both of us left in a great hurry. I walked as fast as my short legs could carry and Yuri just took big comfortable strides. Yuri and Yoona were both tall. We arrived at the flat. We stood outside the door. The both of us taking deep breaths before we knocked on the door.

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It seemed like we were preparing for some sort of audition. Just then the door opened. It shocked us both. “Oh sorry if I shocked you. Who are you looking for?” A girl about my height with her hair in a pony tail asked. Yoona happened to be walking down the doorway towards the living room. “Sunny they are my friends. Let them in. Thanks.” “Ok sure. I‟m heading out now. Bye.” Sunny said as she stepped out of the flat. Yuri and I stepped in. Seohyun was still sitting there watching TV. She greeted us and went back to her show again. “So what are you doing here?” Yoona questioned acting like she had no idea why. “You know WHY we‟re here.” Yuri said with a pun intended. She looked at me when she said that. “Really? Is that WHY you‟re here too?” I said threatening to let the cat out of the bag.

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“Ok I‟m confused. Whatever. I‟ll prepare dinner.” Yoona said as she opened the fridge. “Kimchi fried rice ok?” She asked the both of us. Anything was fine as long as we were in her flat. We nodded. “Do you need help?” Yuri offered. “Sure help me to chop up the ingredients.” I let the both of them do the work. I was too busy looking around. “Kim Taeyeon are you just going to sit there?” Yoona said as she flicked some water at me. “Oh no of course not. I‟ll go and rest in your room.” I said and I ran off feeling water droplets landing on the back of my neck. I went into Yoona‟s room. I paced around. I wonder what my beauty was doing. I placed my ears to the wall separating the two rooms. It was silent. I got bored after a while. I decided to help them out.

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I opened the room door just to be greeted by the sight of the most beautiful girl on earth. She was returning to her room. She just had her shower. It was my favourite scent. It kind of smelt like Johnson‟s Baby Body Wash. I got weak in the knees. She was only wrapped in her towel. Her yellow fluffy towel to be exact. Her hair was still dripping. She was an angel. She glanced at me as she walked past and her slender figure vanished behind her door. Dopamine flooded my brain. I shut the door. I laid down on Yoona‟s bed and eased my heart rate. This feeling I had inside was insane. Chapter 4 There was a cool wind blowing against my ears. I cupped my hands over my ears. Then there was a tickle on my neck. I scratched. The tickle moved to the soles of my feet. I realised I was in Yoona‟s bed. I must have fallen asleep. I looked up to see Yuri and Yoona giggling.

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“Omo sorry I wanted to help but I must have fallen asleep.” I said helping myself out of bed. I stretched. I was still tired. “It‟s ok let‟s have dinner. The food is ready.” Yoona said walking out the door with Yuri. I walked out into the dining area. It was in between the kitchen and the wall that separated Sooyoung‟s room. The dining table had exactly six chairs. Three on each side. The pan of Kimchi fried rice was sitting right smack in the middle of the table. Suddenly someone came running out from behind us. “Wow what‟s that! Smells Good!” A tall lanky girl ran out sniffing. “Hi Sooyoung I made some fried rice. I made quite a lot. Feel free to join us.” Yoona invited. “Cooool! Thanks!” Sooyoung said as she rushed to get an extra pair of utensils. Seohyun was already eating her own food in front of the TV. Yoona dragged me and sat me down beside her an empty seat beside me. We were facing the kitchen.

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Yuri sat down opposite of Yoona and Sooyoung sat beside. We dished out the rice and started eating. There was still enough for two others to eat. Yoona introduced us to Sooyoung officially. Most of them in the flat were in their first year. Sunny and Hyoyeon were in their second year and were the only repeat residents in this dorm. We continued eating and I saw a figure enter the kitchen. I looked up. She was still in her yellow towel? She opened the fridge and took out a carton of milk. She placed the carton of milk down on the kitchen counter as she reached for a glass on the drying rack above the sink. I could not take my eyes off of her. Her skin was silky smooth. Light from the kitchen ceiling lights reflected off her bare shoulders. She was just so attractive. I didn‟t realize I was staring until Yoona stomped on my feet. Yuri was hiding a smile. Lucky for me Sooyoung was too busy eating to notice that I was staring at her flat mate that was dressed in only a towel. She started pouring herself a glass of milk. “Jessica do you want to join us for dinner? I made quite a lot and you can have some too if you‟re hungry.” Yoona extended the offer to my dream girl.

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So. Her name is Jessica. Perfect name for a perfect girl with the perfect body and the perfect face. Jessica turned she was taking a sip of her milk from the clear glass. “Oh sure thanks I was about to cook but since you offered I‟ll take the offer then.” Jessica said with a smile. It was the first time I saw her smile. God! Boy was she captivating! I felt Yoona‟s hands on my lips. “Taeyeon ah rice on your lips.” I blushed. I wonder if Jessica thought I was a dork. “Oh Thanks.” I replied and I lowered my head while I continued eating. I wanted to hide my red face. Jessica set her glass down beside me and went back to her room. I believe she was going to change into proper clothes. That would definitely help to reduce my increased heart rate. Not that it would help much but it most definitely will. She came out in a pair of boxer shorts and a white racer back. I was a sucker for shoulders and bare backs. Yuri knew that and she was trying hard to hide her laugh now.

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I kicked her under the table. She laughed even harder. “Yuri are you ok?” Yoona asked. Yuri looked up. “Oh yes I‟m perfectly fine. But Taeyeon is not. The kimchi fried rice must be too spicy. Look at her face it‟s all red.” Yoona obviously got what Yuri meant. Yoona touched my cheeks and mouthed to me. “Don‟t forget she has a boyfriend.” “Do you want some milk? Help yourself.” Jessica offered me the glass of milk that she had already taken a sip of. I was shocked. It must have showed on my face. “Oh if you mind that I have already taken a sip I‟ll pour another glass for you.” Jessica stood up and walked over to the fridge. She took the carton of milk out. She swished the milk inside around. “There‟s not much left though.” She said looking at me. “Oh it‟s ok we can share.” “Cool.” Jessica walked over with the remaining milk and emptied the contents into the glass.

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“Here help yourself.” Jessica pushed the glass of milk over to me. I picked it up and placed the glass to my lips. I took a gulp. The milk tasted so cool and refreshing. It was tasty. I placed the glass down. Everyone started laughing. Yoona reached for my lips again. She wiped her fingers across. Oh. Milk moustache. I suddenly realized. We started conversing with each other. We talked about school and we talked about the dorm and its facilities. Finally Yoona brought up the topic of Jessica‟s boyfriend. I swear she did it intentionally. “So Jessica how‟s your boyfriend doing?” Yoona asked casually. “Oh the usual. He‟s good. He‟s busy with work but he may be visiting me during one of the weeks we‟re on break.” The way it sounded Jessica and her boyfriend were going strong. “So how long have you dated?” Yuri asked on my behalf. I sneaked her smile. She winked back. “Oh we have been together for six years already.” “Wow that‟s a really long time.” I said in incredulity. My hopes were dashed. I knew that I had no chance against a six year

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relationship. Not that I wanted to come between them. I would not do that intentionally. It was too unethical. “Yeah it is. He‟s my first and only boyfriend.” Jessica continued. “Wow only boyfriend. Neat.” Yuri said. Sooyoung was quiet most of the time. She was busy polishing off every single grain of rice. Everything that was left on the pan went into her tummy. She had a ferocious appetite but she was still so skinny. It really is quite amazing. Yoona had interesting flatmates. We were finally done with dinner. “Ok Kim Taeyeon you wash the dishes since you were lazing in bed just now.” Yoona said and left with Yuri to return to her room. “I‟ll help too” Both Jessica and Sooyoung said at the same time. Sooyoung stacked all the plates and brought it to the sink. I started soaping them. “Here I‟ll rinse them.” Jessica offered. Sooyoung started wiping the table and taking out the trash.

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I was left alone in the kitchen with Jessica. We started talking. “So how about you do you have a boyfriend?” Jessica asked me. “Well no. I like girls.” I said in a straightforward manner. “Oh ok. Don‟t worry I‟m cool with it.” She said in a nonchalant manner. “So your boyfriend surely misses you a lot huh since you‟re living in the city now.” I casually asked. “Yes he does. But I make it a point to call him every morning to let him know how I am.” Jessica said sighing. She must really miss him too. “Anyway he‟ll be visiting you soon enough right?” I asked. “Yeah he will be.” “Great wait for it. The time will come soon. Time flies around here.” I said patting her on the back. I felt her smooth skin against my hands. It gave me a weird feeling in my abdomen. We were done with the dishes. I returned to Yoona‟s room and Jessica went back to hers.

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“Anyway it was nice meeting you.” Jessica said smiling as she walked into her room. I walked into Yoona‟s room to see Yuri and Yoona sitting in bed and talking. “So how was it? Washing the dishes with Jessica.” Yuri teased. “Yaaa. Don‟t tease. She‟s beautiful but she has a boyfriend.” I said dejectedly. “Yes she has a boyfriend so don‟t bother getting yourself in that messy situation and get hurt. Straight girls don‟t do you justice.” Yoona said with conviction. She has seen me hurt before. She knew how much I suffered. “Yes yes I know. I‟ll head back first. Yuri you can hang around if you have nothing to do.” I said as I left the room. I happened to bump into Jessica outside again. She was heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water. “Oh you‟re leaving already?” She asked me. “Yes I am.” I said heading for the door. “Hey do you have a minute? Do you mind helping me to proof read my assignment?” I stood there for a moment. I was thinking. Should I do it or should I not?

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“It‟s ok if you‟re not free you know.” She added on seeing that I paused for so long. In that split second I made my choice and gave her my answer. Chapter 5 “Oh no I‟m free. Sure I‟ll help.” I said smilling. “Thanks you‟re a great friend!” Jessica said returning a sweet smile. Yes I‟m a great friend and a great lover too. Want to be my lover? I was talking to myself in my head. I think I was going crazy. “Come on in.” Jessica gently pulled on my hands. I realized I was standing like a wooden stump in the doorway. Her touch made me come alive. It literally spiked my heart rate. Her assignment was already showing on her screen. The scroll bar at the side was really tiny. She most definitely wrote a lot. I was going to be in here with her alone for quite a while. I wonder if I made the right choice. Even if it was the right choice I wonder if it was a smart choice. I was a person with moderate self-control. With Jessica‟s appeal to me, I needed more than just moderate self-control. I

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needed self-control that was as strong as reinforced steel used for building skyscrapers. She sat down on her study chair and started scrolling to the top of her paper. I just stood there behind her. I was stiff. Her room was dimly-lit by a table lamp. It was facing the window. Her bed was placed beside the study table. The door was on the opposite end of the window. The mood was too romantic. It was not helping. The only good thing was that the door was left open. She turned back to look at me. “Oh I‟m sorry I only have one study chair. You don‟t mind sharing a chair do you? Minimal rent minimal furniture. The hostel is so practical.” She said rolling her eyes. “Sure I‟m fine with that.” I said as I walked over. I sat down. I can‟t believe it. I‟m sharing a chair with Jessica. Wow. Our skin gently brushed against each other. I was on fire. I tried to focus on the paper instead of our physical proximity. I reminded myself that she has a boyfriend. It helped, especially when they had already been dating for six years.

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I took the mouse from her and started scanning through the document. We discussed parts of the paper and I edited it for her. Thankfully I was born a smart kid. She seemed impressed by my intellect. We were about three quarters through her paper when she stifled a yawn. “Do you want to go to bed? I‟ll go through the rest of the paper and save it when I‟m done.” I offered. “Maybe I‟ll just take a short nap if you don‟t mind?” She asked me. Of course I didn‟t mind. “Sure go ahead.” She got up and started walking towards the door. She closed it tight shut. I was now alone with the most beautiful girl in the universe in a dimly-lit room with the doors shut behind us. It bothered me. She set herself on top of her bed covers. She slept on her left side. Her back facing the wall. She was facing me. That bothered me even more. I tried my best to concentrate on her paper. I was already sitting here for the past hour and a half. It meant that I was already exercising a great deal of self-control for the past hour Author : Yongel [email protected]

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and a half. I wonder how much more I could withstand. Her breathing became slow and relaxed. She was probably asleep already. I couldn‟t resist the temptation to look. I turned. If there were anyone who could pull off the role of the fairytale sleeping beauty she was the one. Her skin glowed under the orange light. She had smooth silky hair that fell naturally. Her skin was perfect. She looked so appealing even in her sleep. Her lips were calling out to me. I could not take it anymore. I grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled a note. I went out of her room and locked her door behind me. Now she was safe. So was I. I walked down the doorway towards the toilet. I had to wash my face. I stepped in to see Yoona coming out of the toilet stall. “Taeyeon? What are you doing here? I thought you left already.” She asked slightly astonished. “Oh I was helping Jessica with her assignment. I‟m leaving now. I‟m tired.” I said as I splashed my face with water. “Ok. Good night.” I said as I walked towards the main door. I was going down the stairs when I saw Sunny walking up with another girl. I deduce that that must be Hyoyeon the only Author : Yongel [email protected]

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person I haven‟t met. Sunny said hi to me and introduced me as Yoona‟s friend. She introduced Hyoyeon to me too. It was a brief one. This was how it was on campus dorms, everyone made acquaintances easily. When we‟re all far from home everyone was just friendlier. I continued down and walked along the red brick path. The tall black Victorian street lamps lighting the way. I arrived at my flat. I opened the door. It was quiet. I walked to Yuri‟s door and knocked. There was no answer. She was probably still in Yoona‟s room. It seems like things were going well for her. I headed for a shower. I was in serious trouble. Jessica filled my thoughts. I came out of the shower and poured myself a cold glass of water. I returned to my room and sat on the couch. I sat leaning on the right armrest and with my legs extended towards the left armrest. I looked out at the moon through the balcony doors. My lights were off. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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The moon was beautiful tonight. I could still feel the sensation of Jessica‟s skin against mine. It seemed to linger even after my shower. The look of her when she slept was also imprinted deeply in my head. She was very charming in her own way. I was falling deeper and deeper. I knew that. I also knew it was a mistake. I could choose my actions and I could choose the kind of situations that I put myself in, but falling in love was not a choice. Chapter 6 Jessica was leaning on the wall. I placed both my hands on the wall and leaned in towards her. She stood still. I moved closer. She did not resist me. We kissed. Someone was knocking on the door. We ignored it. We just continued kissing. The knocking persisted.

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Suddenly the door flew open. It was her boyfriend. He was shaking me violently. He made me swear to stay away from Jessica. He threatened to kill me. It was dark I couldn‟t see his face. “Taeyeon ah Taeyeon ah” I heard Yuri‟s voice calling out to me. Huh? What is going on? I opened my eyes. I was on the couch and Yuri was shaking me. I was thankful it was a dream. My back ached. I realised I was lying awkwardly on the couch. I must have fallen asleep thinking of Jessica. This was bad. I‟m even dreaming of her now. “Yuri stop shaking. I‟m awake.” I said to her. “What‟s going on? Why are you so keen to wake me up.” Yuri seemed really excited. “Well I slept over at Yoona‟s last night.” She continued.

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No wonder she was in such high spirits. “Ok. Good for you.” I said as I stood up and walked towards my bed. “Aren‟t you curious to know more?” Yuri seemed puzzled at my disinterest. “You realise the both of you are my friends right? It‟s fine if you tell me about a girl I ain‟t close to but this is my childhood friend we‟re talking about here.” I explained. In all honesty I was still perturbed by the dream. “Hmm..Ok that makes sense. Well but you know we didn‟t do anything. We just shared the same bed.” Yuri said still overflowing with joy. “The both of you slept in the same bed. That‟s progress. You just might stand a chance. From what I know of Yoona you definitely stand a chance.” Yuri was already jumping for joy. “Thanks for confirming it!” Yuri hugged me and ran out of my room. She was crazy. So was I. Just that her target was interested and mine wasn‟t. How crappy is that. I hugged my pillow. The kiss with Jessica felt so real. I yearned for it but I knew it impossible.

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The phone rang. I knew I did not have to pick up. Yuri would be making a dash for the phone right about now. The ringing stopped. Indeed. I was sure that Yuri picked up the phone. I closed my eyes. I wanted to get some rest. I did not sleep well. I have been sleep deprived since Saturday morning. It was already Sunday and I still felt lethargic. I had to recharge. Somehow when you lack sleep your emotions get amplified. I tried but I couldn‟t sleep. The dream was affecting me. Yuri knocked on my door again. “Hey Yoona just called and guess what?” Yuri said smiling. “What?” I could not be bothered to guess. “She said that Jessica was making pancakes for breakfast and she invited the both of us over.” Yuri said expecting a big reaction from me. “Are you sure she invited the both of us over? Or is Yoona the one who invited us over?” I said with much scepticism. “Jessica invited us over. Come on move your lazy ass and let‟s Author : Yongel [email protected]

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go!” Yuri dragged me out of bed. I groaned. I really really wanted to sleep. Of course I really really wanted to see Jessica as well. But I know I really shouldn‟t. But if I didn‟t turn up it would be so weird. “Fine. Give me five minutes.” I dropped my pillow and walked to the bathroom. I washed, I changed and we made our way to Yoona‟s place. By the time we arrived we saw that Seohyun, Sunny and Hyoyeon were already done eating. They washed the plates and set off to do their own things. Seohyun returned to her room. No Keroro today I suppose. Sooyoung was still eating. We greeted her. Yoona was sitting opposite of Sooyoung. She seemed happy to see Yuri. I walked over and sat down beside Sooyoung. “Good morning Taeyeon good morning Yuri.” A sweet voice said from behind me. I would never fail to recognise that voice. I turned to see Jessica in an apron. She was still preparing more pancakes. I could see why. Sooyoung had a big appetite. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“Oh hey Jessica. Good morning.” All that was going through my head was the kiss we shared. The fake kiss. “Good morning. Thank YOU for inviting us over.” Yuri intentionally emphasized that Jessica was the one that invited us not Yoona. She said it subtle enough not to be obvious to the rest. Only I got it. “No worries. We‟re all friends. Plus I had my share of kimchi fried rice yesterday.” Jessica said as she flipped her pancakes. They smelled delicious. The smell of maple syrup filled the kitchen. It made my mouth water. Sooyoung finally had enough. She washed her own plate and returned to her room thanking Jessica before she left. Jessica served the final batch of pancakes and sat down with us at the table. She must have been busy making pancakes until now. Since Sooyoung left, there was now an empty seat beside me. Jessica sat there since Yuri was seated beside Yoona. We helped ourselves to the pancakes. Honestly it was really delicious. Who ever thought that Jessica could make such great tasting pancakes? “Anyway thanks for helping me out with my assignment Author : Yongel [email protected]

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yesterday.” Jessica said thanking me. Yuri looked like she already knew because she didn‟t show any sort of reaction. Yoona must have told her. “Oh don‟t worry about it. I always help people out whenever I can.” I said trying to make it seem like she wasn‟t special. “So why did you leave halfway last night? Too exhausted? Sorry about that.” Yuri and Yoona just ate their pancakes quietly as they watched the both of us. It was like a performance for the both of them. They were seriously hopeless. “Oh yes I was really tired. Even now I‟m feeling so tired and my whole body is aching.” I said feeling really sore in the back. “Yeah I found her on the couch this morning when I went into her room.” Yuri finally spoke. “You mean when you barged into my room and added on to my nightmare.” I accidentally let slip. “Oh what nightmare did you have?” Yoona asked. “Umm not much. It‟s just some crazy mad man shaking me violently. I woke up to realise that it was Yuri. So how did all of you sleep last night? Had a good night‟s rest I hope?” I had to change the topic. I didn‟t want them asking anymore questions about my dream or nightmare. Whatever you call it. It was a bit of both. Yoona glanced at Yuri. She knew I knew. “Well I slept really well. Thank you.” Yoona said very politely. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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In other words she was trying to say to me that they just shared the bed and they slept and slept only. I knew that was going to be temporary. They would progress like a bullet train and in the blink of an eye they will be inseparable. I knew the both of them well enough to be able to predict what would happen. “So how about you Jessica? Did you sleep well?” Yoona asked. “Yeah I kind of did. I woke up only this morning to see the note Taeyeon left on my table. I was only supposed to take a nap but I slept till morning. Thankfully, Taeyeon left already.” “Oh yeah I was feeling tired too so I left. If you need help I can help you out after breakfast.” I offered again. My offer was genuine. I didn‟t like to do something halfway and then leave it hanging in the air. I believe that if you start something you have to see it through to the end. We finished up the last of the pancakes. Yuri and Yoona offered to do the dishes. I of course would not refuse that. Jessica and I went into her room. It was a different feel altogether in the daytime. It was bright and fresh. Although her room still smelt very much like her. It was a very sweet smell. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I stepped in remembering that there was only one chair. “Oh since it‟s morning I can just borrow Yoona‟s chair. I doubt she‟ll be using it.” I said and I left to borrow her chair. I returned with Yoona‟s chair in my hands. I set it down to the right of Jessica‟s chair. After the dream I had I was quite fearful of being that close to her. I opened the document and continued from where I left off last night. Likewise we discussed it and I did the editing for her. The only difference today was that my neck was hurting. I kept clutching the sides of my neck with my hands. “Are you ok?” Jessica asked concerned. “You seem like you‟re in a lot of pain.” She said looking at me. “Don‟t worry about it. My neck is just feeling stiff. It must have been from sleeping on the couch.” I said as I tried to stretch my muscles a little. “Here let me help you out.” Jessica said as she stood up. She walked to the back of my chair. She gently placed her hands on my neck and started kneading. It was an amazing feeling. Naturally it sent tingles down my spine as well. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I had to stop her. I was bordering on the line of being in control and losing control. I moved away. “Hey it‟s ok. I feel better already. I just need some rest. Why don‟t I come back and help you out later in the evening? I‟ll go back and take a nap first.” I quickly excused myself. We did not accomplish much so far. I was barely even a quarter through the last quarter of the paper. Thirty good minutes have been wasted. It must really be due to the lack of sleep. I couldn‟t think well. Technically I should have been almost done by now. Too many distractions I suppose. “I‟ll see you later.” I said to her. “Ok see you later.” She said as she saved the file. I went out of the room and into Yoona‟s room. I realised I forgot about her chair. I went back to Jessica‟s room again. “Back so soon? That was some power nap huh?” Jessica said jokingly. “I forgot the chair.” I said sheepishly. She laughed at me. I took the chair and said bye to her again.

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I returned the chair to Yoona‟s room. Yuri was sitting alone on the bed. I grabbed Yuri‟s hands “Come on let‟s go back. I need to talk.” I said as I dragged Yuri back. Yoona was just coming out of the bathroom. “Leaving already?” She shouted down the corridor. “Yes! Don‟t miss me too much!” I shouted back without turning my head. Yuri was stumbling behind me and waving at Yoona. My sentence actually meant Don‟t miss YURI too much. “I will so YOU better come back soon.” Yoona replied. We all knew what that meant. Chapter 7 “You sure are in a great hurry to return.” Yuri said to me. I was still dragging her along. She pulled her hands away. “So what do you want to talk about?” She asked me. She knew who I wanted to talk about but she didn‟t know what about exactly. “We should talk in the safety of our flat. I don‟t want people overhearing me.” I said as I continued towards our place. Nobody went there. It was usually the both of us visiting others

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instead of others dropping by. After quite a walk we arrived back at our flat. We went in. Yuri sat down at the island. I took a glass of water and joined her. “Want some?” I offered her some water. “No thanks it‟s ok. Just shoot.” She was curious. “I have to talk about it or I‟ll go crazy soon.” I said and then taking yet another gulp of water. “Yes I‟m listening so talk.” She said expectantly. “I dreamt of her last night. We were kissing in my dream. I think I‟m lusting after her. Crap. She has a boyfriend. I know that. I would never come between them intentionally. Unless of course she doesn‟t love him anymore I wouldn‟t mind. Ok I‟m digressing. I need help controlling my urges and she‟s not helping one bit. Remember last night? I helped her out? We shared a chair. Our bodies were touching. She took a nap and she just lay there in bed. She didn‟t hide under the covers. It was insane. She faced me and not away from me when she slept. Do you know how badly I wanted to kiss her. Damn. I wanted to feel her. Thank god I had enough willpower to stand up and leave. And Oh my god. Remember the milk? We shared a glass of milk!?!?! I never expected to come into such close contact with her. This morning she massaged my neck because it hurt. Damn. She doesn‟t know the danger she‟s in. Yuri you definitely got to help me out. I don‟t want to lose control.” I rattled on and on. Yuri was looking at me. She broke into a laugh. “Why are you laughing?? What‟s so funny? Your friend here is in desperate need of help!” I said clasping my head. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She laughed harder. I just drank my water. “I‟ve just never seen you behave like this before.” Yuri said clutching at her sides. “It‟s like the Charming Taeyeon who never fails to win any girl‟s heart is like so in love with Jessica.” Yuri said with exaggerated hand movements. “Everyone has their moments. This just happens to be my weakness. Jessica is my weakness.” I admitted. “Well well I know how you feel. Yoona is my weakness.” Yuri said giving a lovelorn sigh. “Ok Kwon Yuri you‟re supposed to be helping me not think about your Yoona.” I reminded her. “Oh yes yes. Anyway I don‟t see what is the problem. If you like her so be it. There‟s really nothing you can do about it. I know that Yoona disapproves of you getting so close to Jessica because she doesn‟t want you to get hurt but really what‟s the right thing to do here? Nobody can say for sure. All I can say is enjoy the moments but just always know that she has a boyfriend. Who‟s to say that you can‟t allow yourself to feel good about the physical proximity you share just because she has a boyfriend? Everything is a choice. If she allows you to be close to her as a friend go ahead be close to her as a friend. It is her choice. So why don‟t you allow yourself to indulge a little. It‟s ok just as long as you don‟t do anything to break them up intentionally. Just you know don‟t make the first move and don‟t ever let her realise that you like her. Of course always remember it may end as a case of unrequited love. You really may get hurt. That is fact.” Yuri said helping me to analyse the situation. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I knew all that in my head. I just needed someone to tell me. I knew Yuri was the one. If it were Yoona she would just tell me not to do it. If it were anyone else they would say the same. They wouldn‟t give me reason. Why? Because all they would see is that Jessica has a boyfriend and there isn‟t a point to just throw myself in the fire and get burnt. Who would be able to see that burning in her beauty was better than not burning at all. Ok I‟m officially obsessed. “Thank you Yuri. You spoke my mind. You‟re the best.” “Yes of course and you know that if anything happens Yoona and I will be here for you.” Yuri said in a very serious tone. She gave me a pat on the shoulder. “I know. I always have friends like the both of you to depend on. You know you can depend on me too.” I said feeling comfort. I love my friends. “OK time to sleep! You can call Yoona over. It‟s way better to be here than in that flat with so many others.” I said returning to my usual self. I walked towards my room. I heard Yuri pick up the flat phone. I opened the door and shut it behind me. I plonked down in bed and closed my eyes. Now that I knew how I wanted to deal with the situation I Author : Yongel [email protected]

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could sleep better. I picked up the alarm and set it for three hours later. I was going back to help Jessica out. I was ready for it. Chapter 8 The alarm rang. I reached out for the clock and switched off the alarm. I was still tired. I wonder why I was so exhausted. It was already 2.20pm. I was feeling a little hungry. I walked down the corridor towards the kitchen to be greeted by Yuri and Yoona fooling around. The two of them were flinging carrot sticks at each other. It seems like they were preparing Kimbap. “Kids stop playing.” I said as I walked into the kitchen. “Here try one.” Yoona picked up a piece and placed it into my mouth. I chewed. It was a huge piece. There was a bulge in my cheeks. “How‟s it?” Yuri asked looking at me. I showed them a thumbs up. My mouth was too full. I could not talk.

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I was finally down chewing. My jaw was sore. “It‟s good but it‟s too big. Did you have Sooyoung in mind when you made it or something?” I teased. “Stop complaining or you shall have none!” Yoona snatched up the plate and stuck her tongue out at me. “Sorry I can‟t help you.” Yuri said faking helplessness. “Kwon Yuri You‟re under her spell!” I said protesting. “Just like how you‟re under Jessica‟s spell.” Yuri made a comeback at me. “Did you just admit that you‟re under Yoona‟s spell then? And you‟re comparing how I feel towards Jessica to how you feel for Yoona. WOW.” I said smiling to myself. She got trapped. Yoona was blushing. She stood there shyly. Yuri was trying hard to think of something to say. I saw that she gave up thinking. There was really nothing else she could say to defend herself. She took a piece of Kimbap and stuffed it into my mouth. “Yaaa here you go. Eat and stop talking!” She flattened another piece against my mouth and ran off. I wanted to give chase but there were bits of rice here and there. I did not want to mess up the whole dorm. Yoona was just standing there laughing at the hilarious sight. I knew she was also glad to know that she meant so much to Yuri.

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She wasn‟t sure before this so I gave both of them a helping hand. I confirmed it in Yoona‟s face. I foresaw that tonight was going to be the night. Yuri came out after a while and we finished the food. It was filling. I doubt I‟ll be able to have dinner tonight. We started cleaning the kitchen. There was quite a bit of rice on the floor and pieces of carrots. It was quite the mess. I looked at the steel clock. It was already 4.15pm. We were just done cleaning. I went over to the phone and dialled. I was calling Jessica. It so happened that she picked up. “Hi Jessica. It‟s Taeyeon here. Is it ok if I drop by at seven in the evening to help you out? You can have your dinner first before I go over.” “Sure. I‟ll see you at seven.” My heart was pounding. I was excited to see her later. “Great See you.” “See you.” We hung up. In the next three hours I showered and watched TV. There was interesting documentary about love and the human brain. I got so caught up in the documentary that I did not realise it Author : Yongel [email protected]

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was already 7.30pm. I jumped up when I saw what time it was. I knocked on Yuri‟s door and informed her that I would be heading over to Yoona‟s flat to help Jessica out with the rest of her assignment. I rushed off immediately. I arrived at Jessica‟s flat and knocked on the door. It was already quite dark out. The door swung open. Jessica was standing there. “Hi I thought you weren‟t coming over already. I wanted to call you but I realised that I didn‟t know your flat number and Yoona wasn‟t around.” “I‟m sorry Jessica. Yoona was over at my place.” When I said that I realised that I couldn‟t borrow her chair. Crap. “Come on let‟s not waste time. I‟m sorry I‟m late. I got carried away.” I said apologetically. We walked into Jessica‟s room. Once again only the table lamp was switched on. I sat down at the desk and started working on her paper. “Anyway I‟m going to shower now. You don‟t mind if I do that do you? I don‟t want to end up showering too late.” Jessica asked for my consent. After all it was her paper I was working on. “Sure go ahead.” I said without thought. I was concentrating Author : Yongel [email protected]

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on the editing. After she stepped out the door I realised what I had just done. Jessica was going to return to the room with only her towel wrapped around her. I got distracted again. Then I thought to myself. The faster I finished the faster I could leave. I focused again. I was focused so intently on the paper that I didn‟t realise Jessica was back until I heard the door shut behind me. It was a natural reaction to turn. Therefore I turned when I heard the door shut. Jessica was standing there in a towel. My face became red. Lucky for me the room was dark so it wasn‟t that obvious. “Oh hey you‟re done showering.” The words just came out of my mouth. “Yes it‟s such a warm day today.” Jessica replied. I turned back to face the screen. Jessica‟s laptop was the kind with the slightly reflective screen. I could practically see her in it. It wasn‟t helping. She walked over and stood beside the study table. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She stretched and drew the curtains. As she did that the towel revealed more of her thigh. It was right in my face. There was no way I could turn away. My heart was pounding harder against my ribcage. I was so afraid that she would notice. I stared hard at the screen but nothing was going into my head. “Hey do you want me to go out while you get changed?” I offered hoping that she would say yes. “Oh it‟s fine. We‟re all girls anyway.” She said turning me down. Bad choice on her part. The scent of her shower foam and her shampoo filled the room. I was practically going crazy inside. If Yuri were in my shoes and Jessica were Yoona. She would most definitely go insane too. Jessica started blow drying her hair. I could see everything through the screen. I remembered Yuri‟s words. Indulge in the moment. I remembered Jessica had a boyfriend. I put the two together and I kind of calmed down a little. I was going to accept what was happening and just act like I‟m a friend. It was that simple. Was it? I shifted the laptop so that Jessica was only reflected at a little Author : Yongel [email protected]

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corner of the screen. I continued scrolling through the paper and editing it as I went along. My neck was still slightly sore. I squeezed it slightly hoping that Jessica wouldn‟t notice. I did not want a re-enactment of this morning. If she touched me now I would most probably pounce on her and give her a fiery kiss. I laughed at my own ridiculous thought. I went back to editing. I came to a part where I had to ask her if it was fine and so I did. Again I was too quick with my mouth. I called for her and I realised she was still in her towel. She walked over and stood beside me. She asked me to scoot over so that she could sit down beside me. I did as I was told. She sat down beside me in her towel. I swear I was thankful that I did not have heart problems. If I did I would have had a million heart attacks already. She was talking and pointing here and there on the screen but it was just so difficult for me to concentrate. I only managed to catch about twenty percent of what she said. She suddenly turned to me. “Taeyeon are you ok?” She asked me concerned. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“I am why do you ask?” I was slightly stunned at her question but I tried my best to react normally. I hope she didn‟t notice me staring at her. “Oh it‟s just that you‟re giving off a lot of heat. You don‟t have a fever or anything do you?” She said as she gently touched my foreheads and cheeks. I held on very tightly to the sides of the chair with my left hand. I quickly brought up the scene in my dream. Not the kissing but the strangling. It helped a little. At least it stopped me from jumping on her. “Oh like you said it‟s a warm day.” I replied quickly. I looked at the corner of her computer screen. It showed that it was already 8.45pm. Time was flying past like nobody‟s business. “Anyway you should get changed. I‟ll continue with your paper.” I said. I really wanted her to wear some clothes. “Sure.” Jessica said. Finally! I was kind of relieved to know that she was going to get changed. I went back to the paper. Again. Too many distractions. Well it was actually only one big distraction.

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I felt a small sudden rush of air behind me. It seemed like Jessica had just tossed her towel on the bed. Crap. I knew what that meant. I tried my best to focus on the screen but the reflection of Jessica‟s bare back was not helping at all. Thankfully the reflection ended off just at the waist. I looked for quite a while. The lines on her back were just so beautiful. I wanted to run my fingers down her spine. Oh no Kim Taeyeon. Control your thoughts. I was talking to myself again. If I were trapped on an island alone I would probably not get bored. I was such an expert at talking to myself. How cool is that. I shut my eyes and took long slow breaths. I had to relax a little more if I were to actually complete what I was here for. I opened my eyes to see Jessica in a white sleeveless top and her boxer shorts. She seemed to like that combination. To be honest so did I. She was looking down at me. “Taeyeon are you ok?” She asked. Damn she must be wondering why I shut my eyes. “Oh I‟m fine. My eyes are just a little tired that‟s all.” I lied. “Do rest your eyes if you need to. Don‟t strain yourself too Author : Yongel [email protected]

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much.” She said as she placed her hands gently on my shoulders. Her touch sent a shock right through my body. I wasn‟t expecting it. “Your shoulders still seem very tense. Does it still hurt a lot? Here I‟ll massage it for you.” Jessica offered again. “Oh let‟s finish up your assignment first. You can help me with my shoulders later.” I quickly turned her focus onto the assignment. I did not know how much longer I could hold it in if she massaged my neck and shoulders now. It was a sensitive region. She agreed and sat down beside me. We worked for the next hour or so and we finally completed the entire paper. We read through it once more before calling it a night. I stood up and stretched. She thanked me. I rubbed my eyes. I was tired and my eyes were tired. I was about to leave when she stopped me. Chapter 9 Jessica stopped me from leaving. “Is something the matter?” I asked innocently. “I still owe you the massage.” She said quite firmly. “Oh it‟s fine. You don‟t have to.” I turned her down.

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“No I insist. You helped me with so much and now your neck hurts so let me do a little something for you. Come on or I‟ll feel bad about it.” She said resolutely as she pushed me towards the bed. I relented. My neck was really hurting quite badly and my shoulders were so stiff that if you threw a rock against it the rock would shatter. I sat down at the foot of the bed. “Why don‟t you lie facing down. It would be easier for me if you did that.” She said as she peeled her bed covers aside. I contemplated for a moment. “Come on let‟s not waste time.” She gave her pillow a soft pat as she said that. What could possibly happen right? It was just a massage. I lay down in her bed with my back facing upwards. I tilted my head to the right. I could smell the scent of her shampoo in her white satin pillow. She had white satin sheets along with a white satin quilt cover. It felt like I was laying in white fluffy clouds. It felt so good. She got onto the bed and sat by my waist. She sat facing the study table. I was facing the same direction. Her legs were dangling off the bed. She tilted her body slightly to the left so that she could reach for my shoulders.

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She gently kneaded my shoulders and my neck. It felt really good. Her boyfriend is such a lucky guy. My muscles relaxed. My whole body loosened up. The pain seemingly disappeared. I shut my eyes. I relished every single moment. Her hands were really smooth. *** It felt so good to finally have a good night‟s rest. The bed was soft. The pillow was soft. I snuggled my face into the pillow. I took a deep breath. It smelt like Jessica. I must have spent too much time with her. Now even her scent is stuck with me. I reached out for my other pillow and hugged it. It felt different. It felt so much like… I yanked my eyes open. I blinked a few times. It was dark. I had to get my eyes accustomed to the darkness. Where was I? I tried to retrace my thoughts. Jessica was massaging me. It felt great. I shut my eyes. It dawned on me. I must have fallen asleep in Jessica‟s bed. I stiffened. I didn‟t dare to move an inch. Holy! I was in her bed! She must have not wanted to disrupt my sleep. She knew I had barely enough rest. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I could hear her soft breathing beside me. I was fully awake now. I realised that my „pillow‟ was gently rising and falling under my right arm. I was hugging Jessica. I was about to gently and slowly take my hands away when she placed her hands on mine and pulled me closer. I felt my shoulders gently press against her back. She must be dreaming of her boyfriend. I guess she really does miss her boyfriend‟s hugs. Since I was already in bed with her I guess there was no harm in staying until the next morning. I could hear the ticking of the clock. It was a very quiet night. I was feeling….I don‟t know what I was feeling. I was surprised when I realised that I was in bed with her. The next moment I was feeling happy that I could be so close to her. Lastly I reminded myself that she was out of my reach. She was straight and she had a boyfriend. It was all that mixed together. That was how I was feeling. Surprise, Happiness, Sadness all in one. My first tear for Jessica rolled along the bridge of my nose and Author : Yongel [email protected]

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fell on the pillow. I thought of what Yuri said earlier in the day and I decided that since this was one rare moment I should really just enjoy the moment. I moved closer to her. I didn‟t sleep for quite a long while. I wanted to be awake. I wanted to remember how it felt to hold her close. It slowly became brighter. My eyelids became heavier. Ultimately I fell asleep. *** I woke up again. My eyes were still shut. My arms were now on Jessica‟s tummy. It felt like she was sleeping on her back. Both her arms were on my hands. I haven‟t opened my eyes yet. I couldn‟t bear to wake up. I wonder if she knew I was hugging her. I wonder how she felt. I wonder how she would react when she woke up. I had to think of some way to make the situation less awkward. She knew that I fancied girls. That would definitely not help the situation. I guess the best way would be an apology. I did not want her to think that I was intentionally taking Author : Yongel [email protected]

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advantage of her. It would be bad if she suspected that I was interested in her. I had to prevent that. I heard her yawn. She must be awake already. She raised one hand and it seemed like she was rubbing her eye with it. Her other arm was still on mine. I had to do it now. I opened my eyes slowly. She was looking at me. I got a slight shock. I turned the situation to my advantage. “OMO. What am I doing here. Did I fall asleep here? I‟m so sorry. I must have been too tired.” “It‟s ok.” She said in between yawns. I acted like I just realised that my hands were on her tummy too. “OMO. I‟m sorry I must have thought that you were my pillow. I‟m so sorry.” I said as I took my hands away. I was glad that I was a quick thinker. I couldn‟t risk her finding out. She sat up and got off the bed. I got off too. I stretched. I looked at the clock. It was already 10.30am. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Thank god I had no classes on Mondays. “Oh anyway good morning.” I said smiling. I wanted to ease the awkwardness. “Do you have classes today?” I asked her. She was quite quiet. “Nope I don‟t.” Her reply was short. I wonder if she was always like that when she got up. I realised that I was in Yoona‟s flat. I didn‟t want to let her know that I slept the night with Jessica. I didn‟t know how she would react. She would probably chide me. Jessica was about to open her room door. “Wait. Stop. Don‟t open the door yet.” I said hurriedly. She turned and looked at me baffled. “Can I ask of a favour? Can you please not let Yoona know that I slept over? Please. Before you let me out can you also check that Yoona isn‟t outside? Thanks a lot.” I was kind of begging. I must have sounded desperate not to let Yoona find out. She nodded. She opened the door and slipped out. I hid behind the door. I could hear her walking around the flat. She came back in.

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“Yoona‟s in the bathroom. If you don‟t want to get seen by her you should leave now.” Jessica said to me motioning for me to hurry. I ran out the door and straight for the main door. I opened the front door and guess what? Yuri was standing there and preparing to knock. She got a shock when I suddenly pulled open the front door. I could see that she was about to call my name and I pressed my hands to her mouth. I pulled the door shut. I was safe for now. Yuri‟s eyes were wide open. She was still in shock. I released my hands. I saw that she was about to say something and I clasped my hands tightly around her mouth again. I dragged her down the stairs. “So that‟s where you were the entire night.” Yuri said in a whisper. “Yes does Yoona know?” I asked half hoping that she didn‟t. Yuri shook her head. “She would have if you stepped out three seconds later.” Yuri continued. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“So what‟s going on?” Yuri said cheekily. “Well I fell asleep unknowingly when Jessica was giving me a massage.” I explained. The explanation obviously was not clear enough. “Wow a massage in bed?” Yuri said slightly too loud. “SHhh not so loud. My neck and shoulders were stiff so she just helped me to release the tension. That‟s all. When I woke up I realised that I was hugging her. So I explained to her this morning that I didn‟t mean to hug her. I said that I thought she was my pillow. I apologised too. You don‟t think she‟ll suspect that I like her right?” I said slightly worried. “After your explanation to her I doubt she‟ll think that you like her. Anyway people do all sorts when they‟re asleep.” “Great. Don‟t tell Yoona alright. She‟ll kill me. She specifically warned me that Jessica had a boyfriend.” I said looking at Yuri with with pleading eyes. “Sure.” Yuri promised. “Anyway she spent the night at our place. She sneaked out this morning too.” Yuri said blushing slightly. I laughed. “Nice. A night to remember for all of us.” I joked. “So you‟re sure Yoona doesn‟t know that I wasn‟t home right?” I reconfirmed again.

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“No she doesn‟t. She left and she asked me to invite you over to her place for breakfast after she went back. I knocked on your door but there was no answer so I went in. I saw that your bed was empty and it was cold. I had a feeling that you slept over at Jessica‟s so I just headed over. You‟re real lucky you came out at the right time or I would have told Yoona already. Alright wash up quickly so we can head back to Yoona‟s for breakfast.” I felt relieved after hearing Yuri‟s words. I quickly freshened up and we headed back to Yoona‟s flat. Chapter 10 It was exactly two weeks after the night I slept over at Jessica‟s. Yuri and Yoona were a happy couple now. They were always together. The time has come. Today was the first day of break. We had one long week of break before school resumed. This was the week that he would be visiting. It was Monday. He specifically took five days worth of leave from work to visit Jessica. He has been looking forward to this day for the longest time. On the other hand this was the day I‟ve been dreading for the longest time. I have gotten to know more about their relationship in the past

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two weeks. He was a senior from high school. They met only after he graduated. She was quite young then. She was only fifteen. He was this cool and suave guy that many girls wanted as their boyfriend. He was practically the ideal guy. He asked her out and of course she agreed instantly. He was a total heart throb. Well if she didn‟t know she was also a very attractive girl. If she walked down a street I was very sure that she would turn every single head. She got my attention and she caught my heart. My heart was beating for her only. Today was the beginning of a gloomy week. My gloomy week. Yuri recently bought a car. They were going to drive and pick him up from the train station. Jessica asked me along. I refused. Yuri stayed behind with me. Yoona drove Jessica there instead. Yoona was already on the way there with Jessica. Yuri was with me in my room. We were playing games on my game console. I was usually good but today I was performing really badly. Yuri was totally kicking my ass. She didn‟t say anything. I guess she knew how I was feeling.

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The feeling I had inside was as rotten as rotten eggs. The best part was that Jessica had mentioned us all to her boyfriend and we were all supposed to have dinner with him tonight. It was also his birthday. She was intending to surprise him with a cake. There was no escape for me. I had to meet him. I was already feeling the pain now. I wonder how I would cope after I saw him. I kept telling myself. He is her boyfriend. They are still an item. I am just a…What am I? I‟m a person who is hurting. The phone rang. I knew what that meant. It meant the beginning of the real heartache. He has arrived. They were back. Yuri went out to pick up the phone. She came back in within a minute. “It‟s them. They‟re back.” She said to me cautiously. She didn‟t even say the words „let‟s go over‟. I knew she wanted me to be ready before I went over. I couldn‟t let my friend worry. “Sure let‟s go over.” I said trying my best to be strong. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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After a while we arrived at the foot of the stairs. I looked up the stairs and at the door. It was just sitting there. The previous memories I had here were sweet ones. Today is the beginning of a painful one. I inched upwards. Each step I took brought me nearer to what I knew I had to see. Finally. I was standing at the door. Yuri beside me. She allowed me to be in control today. She just followed. She specifically told Yoona that she didn‟t feel good enough to drive today so that she could stay back and accompany me. Yoona only knows that I have a crush on Jessica. She didn‟t know anything else. I reached for the door and I knocked thrice. Some part of me wished that nobody heard the knock so that the both of us would be left standing out here forever. Of course that was not possible. Jessica and Yoona would realise that we‟re not here yet and head to our flat and then they would see us standing here like idiots. Ok I am the only idiot Yuri would just be standing by me like a true friend and so we would seem like two idiots. The door opened. It was Yoona. “Hi love.” She said to Yuri and gave her a kiss on the cheeks. “Hi Taeyeon.” She said as she gave me a tight hug. Yoona was not that insensitive. She knew this would be hard Author : Yongel [email protected]

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for me. She just didn‟t know the extent of the matter. Nobody knew. Not even Yuri understood fully. I was the only one who knew. “Hi Yoona.” I faked a smile. I waved to the rest of the girls in the flat. All nine of us would be having dinner together tonight. All nine of us included him. Yoona led Yuri and I to Jessica‟s room. We had to be introduced. It was only polite to say hi. Her room door was closed. She was one who kept her door open most of the time. The thought of what they could be doing behind those doors killed me. I knocked. Whatever they were doing I wanted to interrupt. Yuri and Yoona were both a little surprised that I initiated the knock. Jessica opened the door. She was a little short on breath. She was slightly taken aback when she opened the door. “Oh hey Taeyeon you‟re here. Yuri too.” She motioned for her boyfriend to come over. He was leaning on the study table. He walked over. No doubt he was attractive in his own little ways but he wasn‟t that attractive. Maybe it was the Jealous me talking. I don‟t know. I was smiling all this time. It was fake. Obviously it was fake. How can I portray happiness at this point in time? Oh yes I Author : Yongel [email protected]

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could portray happiness at this time. But how can I FEEL happiness at this time? “Hi I‟m Taeyeon! Nice to meet you. I‟ve heard a lot about you!” I said enthusiastically. I took his hands firmly and shook it. It was true that I heard a lot about him. Jessica told me a lot. “Hi I‟m Yuri.” Yuri said waving. She did not bother to shake his hands. He said the same when he took my hands. “Hi I‟m Donghae. I finally get to meet you. Jessica has been telling me a lot about you too.” “She has?” I said slightly surprised. This was the only real emotion I showed on my face for the rest of the night. “Alright now that everyone is here we should start preparing dinner. Donghae you should rest. You must be really tired.” Jessica said as she pushed him towards the bed. It reminded me of that night where she pushed me gently towards the bed. I thought of how the both of them would be sharing the bed tonight. My heart tore. I thought of how he would hug her and how she would hold his arm close and how their bodies would be touching. My heart shattered. I was still smiling and looking all bright eyed. Inside, I was crying. Jessica walked over and she shut her door.

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The four of us headed for the kitchen. The rest of them helped in preparing the food as well. Jessica started to bake her cake. It was supposed to be a surprise. I left her to it. I helped Yoona and Yuri with what they had to do. We were preparing a great feast. After about an hour we were done. We left the cake in the oven. It was a very simple cake. There were nine of us but only six chairs so we got the study chairs from Yoona, Sooyoung, and Sunny‟s rooms. Jessica went back to her room to get Donghae. It was a rectangular table originally with three chairs on each side. We added one chair on one end and two on the other end. Sooyoung sat on the row with her back to the wall. Next in line was Yoona and then Yuri. To Sooyoung‟s right was Hyoyeon and Sunny. They were seated on the two study chairs at the end of the table. The seat to their right was where Seohyun was seated. The two empty seats beside Seohyun was left for Donghae and Jessica. I was of course seated at the last seat. The single study chair at the end of the table. She walked out shortly with Donghae. She led him to the dining table. Jessica sat at the seat beside mine and he sat between Jessica and Seohyun. I looked at her. The same thought always comes to mind when I see her. She is beautiful. Everything about her is perfect.

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Since the first day we met. She has captivated me. Since the first day we met, she has stolen my heart from me. My eyes flickered to the figure sitting beside her. He had his hands on her laps. Their fingers were intertwined. I held on tight to the chair I was seated on. I was trying to fight the pain I felt inside. I could not allow anyone to know that I was in love with her. I really seemed like I was perfectly fine on the outside. I smiled I laughed I joked. We conversed. Yuri was actually amazed at my behaviour. I could tell from the way she looked at me. Perhaps it was all that training from being such a private person. I kept a lot to myself. I seldom shared. Maybe that‟s why I‟m so good at hiding my emotions. Pain and sadness in particular. Jessica was taking dishes for Donghae. He just sat there and ate. I was envious. We were finally done eating dinner. It was time for the surprise. We all cleared the dishes. Donghae just walked to the living area and watched TV. The sink was only big enough for two so Jessica and I were the ones soaping and rinsing the dishes. The rest of them were Author : Yongel [email protected]

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either wiping the table, taking out the trash, drying the dishes or emptying the plates. It felt good that she was beside me but it sucked to know that Donghae was there in the living room. My heart was constantly pulsing with pain. It never stopped from the moment I stepped in the door. We were done cleaning. Jessica lighted the candle. She held the cake. Sooyoung shut the lights. We all started singing Happy birthday. Jessica was walking slowly towards him. We could tell that he was happy. Jessica set the cake down on the coffee table. We were done singing. Everyone else clapped. I clapped along. Everyone else started chanting “Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss” I couldn‟t bring myself to even mouth the words let alone chant it. Yuri was also silent. So was Yoona. I just held a smile. It was getting harder to hide my pain and sorrow. I was smiling but my eyes were filled with pain. Jessica was standing there. Donghae leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips. At that moment I almost died. Yes I went to hell and back. A sharp pain shot right through my heart. It was like lightning bolts shooting repeatedly through my heart combined with a million needles pricking at it constantly. My heart contracted.

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I had difficulty breathing. Tears welled in my eyes. I tried very very hard to not let the tears flow. It was an impossible task. I could not let anyone see my tears. I sneaked behind everyone and went to the toilet. They were all too engrossed in the couple. I locked myself in the toilet stall, the one with the toilet bowl and not the shower. I closed the lid and I sat on the toilet bowl. My tears just flowed continuously. I didn‟t know when it would stop. I didn‟t know how to stop it. This was too painful. It was too much pain to bear alone but I had no choice. My choices put me in this situation. It was all mine to bear now.

Chapter 11 Someone knocked on the toilet. “Taeyeon. Are you in there?” It was Yuri. She was talking in a low voice. I could hear that she shut the main toilet door and locked it. The bathroom had two shower stalls and two waste collection stalls. There were four sinks.

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I wiped my tears. I did not like people seeing me this vulnerable. I dabbed gently at the corner of my eyes and I took a deep breath. I opened the door to the stall and went out. Yuri gave me a hug. “Remember Yoona and I are always here for you.” Yuri said trying to comfort me. I nodded. I released myself from her hug and I washed my face. “How do I look?” I asked her. I didn‟t want anyone else to know that I cried. “You look fine. Just that your eyes look a little red.” “Ok I can just say that I‟m tired. That‟s fine.” I concluded. We unlocked the toilet door and headed out. The group of them were still crowding around the living area. It was like they never noticed that we were gone. I walked to the fridge and poured myself a glass of water. Drinking water always helped me to calm down. I finished up the glass of water. I poured myself another glass. I leaned against the kitchen counter. I was facing the dining Author : Yongel [email protected]

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table. I was hidden from view. Yoona appeared. She walked over to me concern in her eyes. “Are you ok? Yuri told me.” She said as she bent down slightly so that she could look me in the eye. Her hands on my cheeks. I looked up at her and I just nodded. I couldn‟t speak. I was afraid that if I tried to say anything my voice would break. Just then Donghae and Jessica walked to the dining table. They set their plate with a slice of cake onto the table and started eating. They were facing the both of us. I immediately switched to my cheerful face. Yoona heard them too. She held my hands and dragged me to the living room. She knew I didn‟t want to have to look at them. Yuri was nowhere to be seen. I asked Yoona where Yuri went and she told me that Yuri had a sudden tummy ache so she went back first. If only Yuri told me. I would have returned with her. Yoona grabbed a slice of cake. “Do you want some?” She asked me. “We can share. I don‟t think I can finish a slice.” “Sure.” Yoona said as she dragged me to the corner of the wall that separated the Kitchen from the living area. I leaned against the wall so that I did not have to look at Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Donghae and Jessica. Yoona faced me so she was the one looking at them. She scooped a small slice of cake off the plate and fed me like I was a baby. I ate. It was a chocolate cake. I wonder if it‟s just me or did the bitter taste of the chocolate come out too strong. “Is the cake bitter?” I asked Yoona. She ate a mouthful. She shook her head. “No it tastes normal.” Perhaps I was too upset. She scooped another piece for me. I took another bite just to see if it was really bitter. It was. Maybe I was just feeling bitter inside. I really couldn‟t tell. “I have had enough. You can have the rest.” I told Yoona. She nodded and continued eating. I could see Jessica and Donghae‟s reflection in the glass of the balcony sliding door. Jessica was feeding Donghae. I could not bear the sight any longer. I turned to Yoona. There was a chocolate smudge on her lips. I wiped it off for her gently.

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She turned and bit my finger. I think she meant to say stop being so silly. Jessica isn‟t worth it. We had a way of talking without words. I pulled my fingers away. It was red. She knew it hurt. Yoona felt sorry so she took my finger placed it to her lip, pouted and apologised. My finger hurt but it could not compare to the pain I felt inside. I sighed and told Yoona it was ok. She could tell that I really wasn‟t myself today. She sighed. She set the plate in the sink and came back to me. She took my hands and dragged me over to Donghae and Jessica. “I‟ll be sleeping over at Taeyeon‟s tonight. I‟ll see you tomorrow.” She told both Donghae and Jessica. “See you around Donghae. It was nice meeting you.” I said faking a smile. We left. The moment we stepped out the door, I instantly transformed into this soulless ghoul. Yoona was still holding on to my hands as we walked. She slowed her pace to match mine. We kept quiet the entire walk. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I was not in the mood to talk. I was in real deep. Sometimes you need a trigger to tell you what you‟re feeling is love. I never knew I was this much in love with Jessica. I guess that‟s what happens when we spend so much time together. And that‟s made possible because we lived in dorms. We arrived at my flat. “Take care of Yuri. I‟ll be fine..” I said as I returned to my room. Yoona stood in the corridor slightly torn. I knew she wanted to be there for me. I knew that she had to take care of Yuri too. “Seriously I‟ll be fine. Good night.” I said one last time before I shut my room door. I made the choice for her. I wanted time alone. I locked my room door. I sat down in bed. I hugged a pillow.

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I took a deep breath. I thought of Jessica. The sight of her when she opened her room door just now was lodged in my head. It was on replay. I couldn‟t shake that out of my head. I thought of all the possibilities. All sorts appeared in my head. Those thoughts were causing me a major discomfort. I did not want to think what else could happen tonight. My heart felt like it was squashed by a 100 tonne excavator. It wasn‟t a flash of pain. It was pulsing. My pillow was already soaked with tears. My tears flowed up till the moment I fell asleep. I fell asleep only when the sky turned bright. *** Jessica was standing there waving to me. I was happy to see her. She was happy too. I walked towards her. A figure suddenly appeared from the sides. It was Donghae. He walked to Jessica. He pulled her towards him and kissed her. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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He smirked at me with an evil grin. He continued kissing Jessica passionately. It was like he was putting on a show specifically for me. He wanted to see me burn. I was mad. I wanted to pull them apart. I walked over. I walked into a piece of glass. It separated me from them. I was caged in a cube of glass. I pounded on the glass. I kicked at it hard. I punched till my knuckles bled. It hurt badly but I couldn‟t care less. I was trapped. He kissed her even more affectionately. I slammed the glass hard. It wasn‟t breaking. I clenched my fist tightly. I kept kicking at it repeatedly. I called out to Jessica. It didn‟t seem like she could hear me. I called out loudly again. I broke down. I cried. I kept calling out her name. The intense emotions I felt woke me. I woke up sobbing. There was nothing on my bed except for me.

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Everything else was on the ground. I realised that my fists were still clenched. I relaxed my grip. I wiped my tears with the palms of my hands. My hands hurt when I wiped my tears. I looked at my hands. The skin was torn. I must have dug my nails into my own palm when I clenched my fists too tightly. I looked at my alarm clock. It was 9.30am in the morning. I must have slept for only a couple of hours. I got up. I pulled open my door to find a note stuck on it. It read „I brought Yuri to the doctor. She‟s been having the runs the entire night.‟ Just then the phone rang. I walked to the living room. I picked up the phone. “Hello.” I said my voice cracking. I cleared my throat. “Hello. Taeyeon?” It was Jessica. I could recognise that voice anywhere. “Are you ok? You don‟t sound so good.” She continued. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“I‟m fine. What‟s up?” I asked. My voice sounded nasal. It must be from all that crying. “Well I made pancakes for breakfast. Three of you should come over and join us.” “Oh Yuri and Yoona aren‟t around. Yuri isn‟t well so Yoona brought her to the doctor.” “Then you should just come on over or would you rather I bring the pancakes over for you?” Jessica gave me no choice. “I‟ll drop by then. See you.” I dreaded going over. I had to act all cheery again. I took a quick shower. The open wounds on my palms hurt. I never knew I could clench my fist this tightly. *** I arrived at Jessica‟s flat door. Why did I have to come. I think I have lost my mind. I was all alone as well. No Yuri or Yoona. All I had was my poker face. I hope it could do the job well enough. I took a very deep breath. I practiced smiling. I am glad I was quite good at compartmentalising. I switched to „just a good friend of Jessica‟ mode. I pushed the doorbell. I heard someone running towards the door. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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The door swung open. It was Jessica. “It‟s good to see you. Good morning.” She held my hands and pulled me in. She shut the door behind us. She released my hands as we neared the dining area. Donghae was sitting there eating the pancakes. She sat down beside him. I took a piece and sat down opposite the both of them. “Good Morning Taeyeon.” He looked up at me. “Good Morning Donghae.” I put on a smile. “How was your night? Slept well I hope?” I asked him. It was meant as a polite question. “Nope. Jessica kept me busy all night.” He said with a cheeky grin. That sentence split my already torn heart even more. “Shut up Donghae.” Jessica nudged him. He laughed it off. I faked a laugh. It was a pain filled laugh. “I‟m getting water. Anyone want some?” I asked as I stood up and turned my back.

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“Yes I want some too. Thanks.” Donghae said. “I‟ll get it for you.” Jessica said. I heard her chair slide noisily against the ground. I took a glass and poured myself some water. Jessica was standing beside me with a glass in her hands. I refused to look at her. I placed the water jug down. She picked it up. I continued to ignore her existence beside me. I was drowning in pain. Donghae‟s words played like a broken record. I drank half a glass of water in one shot. She placed the jug down and returned to the table. I refilled my glass. “Wow Taeyeon you sure are thirsty.” Donghae said surprised at the rate I was downing the water. “Well it‟s too sweet. The maple syrup is too sweet.” I lied about the maple syrup. Nothing tasted sweet. The only thing I could taste was pure hurt. It poured through every vein and nerve in my body. I ate quickly. I just wanted to leave this place. I was finally done. “Alright I‟m done. Thanks for breakfast! I‟ll head back now. Have a nice day!” I stood up and waved to the both of them. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“Sure thing.” Donghae said as he wrapped his arms around Jessica‟s waist. “We‟ll definitely have a nice day.” Donghae said as he kissed Jessica‟s cheeks. “You have a nice day too.” Donghae said to me smiling as he dragged Jessica back to her room. I turned my back towards them. There was a lump forming in my throat. I managed to force one last sentence out cheerfully. “Enjoy and bye!” I went out the door. It was a terrible feeling. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I never knew what true pain was until now. Jessica taught me. Chapter 12 It was only the third day. I have been hiding in my room most of the time. My most frequent visitors were my tears. They were my daily companion. Donghae and Jessica left for a short trip today. They would be gone for two days. At least it was two days without having to face them. I wanted to see Jessica but I didn‟t want to see them. I haven‟t been eating much these few days. I had no desire for food.

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All I did was lay in bed. I tried to sleep the pain away. The orange autumn leaves outside my window were falling. It felt like my soul. I was losing it bit by bit. The pain gnawed at my heart. The best I could do now was to think of Jessica and remember how it felt when I had her in my arms. It was a sweet memory but it brought me more pain now. She was in his arms right now, not mine. She was rightfully his, not mine. Every thought brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could flip a switch and shut off my emotions. The switch didn‟t exist. I was on the path of no return. *** Two days passed. They were supposed to be back today. I was still feeling the same. I was still in pain.

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That was the only constant in my life these few days. The flat phone rang. I really didn‟t feel like picking up. Yuri and Yoona were not around. Yuri was down with food poisoning and she was hospitalized. They would return today as well. The ringing finally stopped. After a while the phone rang again. I reached for my ear plugs. I shut my eyes. *** I opened my eyes to be greeted by darkness. I had a nightmare again. The same nightmare I have had for the past few nights. I just had to endure one more day of pain. He would be gone the day after. Everything could resume after he left. Right now all I could do was to let the pain consume me. *** A sudden burst of bright light flooded my room. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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It was morning. There was someone standing over my bed. It was Yoona. She must have drawn my curtains open. She was talking. I could not hear a word. I realised that I had my ear plugs on. I took them out. “Oh my god those stupid ear plugs again.” Yoona sighed. “I have been talking to myself for the past few minutes.” Yoona shook her head in disbelief. I just looked at her. “You better get up and wash up now. You‟re like a dead corpse. Yuri and I have been gone for only a few days and here you are wallowing in pain. Even Yuri looked better than you when she was suffering in the hospital.” Yoona was quite upset at me. “You better do as I say or I‟ll call Jessica.” Yoona threatened. I sat up. “You‟re hopeless.” Yoona sighed. “Anyway Jessica called this morning. She said she has been calling many times yesterday but nobody picked up. She said Author : Yongel [email protected]

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she even dropped by and knocked for a long time but nobody answered the door. She was worried. She knew that you were home alone.” “What did you tell her?” I finally spoke my first word after a few days. “I said that you were at the hospital with us.” “Great. I don‟t want Jessica to worry.” I said feeling slightly relieved. “So it‟s not ok for Jessica to worry but it‟s ok for Yuri and I to worry?” Yoona asked seemingly more upset than before. “I‟m sorry you know I didn‟t mean that.” I said and I gave Yoona a hug. She softened up a little. She knew I was hurting badly enough. She stroked my head. “It‟s ok I just don‟t like seeing you in so much pain. I didn‟t think Jessica could do this to you.” Just then Yoona started waving. I turned to see her waving to Donghae and Jessica. They saw us through my second floor window. I looked at her expecting an explanation. “I was telling you that Jessica and Donghae were coming over but SOMEONE had EAR PLUGS on. He wanted to take a look at your flat. They bought us some stuff too. So you better wash up. I‟ll clean up your room for you quickly.” Yoona said pushing me towards the door. She tossed me my towel. I grabbed a set Author : Yongel [email protected]

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of fresh clothes and headed to the bathroom. I took a quick shower. I stepped out of the shower feeling slightly better. I came out of the bathroom with my towel hanging around my neck. My hair was still dripping wet. Donghae, Jessica and Yoona were standing in the corridor. “Hi Taeyeon.” Donghae said and smiled to me. “Hi.” I replied smiling. I haven‟t smiled for days. “Yaaaaa look at you. Your hair is dripping water all over the place.” Yoona said as she walked towards me. She grabbed my towel and started drying my hair for me. “Aren‟t the both of them such a cute couple.” Donghae said to Jessica. Yoona‟s eyes showed her astonishment at that ridiculous comment he made. It was quite the joke to her. She was about to turn around and clarify that Yuri was her girlfriend and not I. I raised both hands and placed them over her hands that were on the towel sitting on my head. I looked at her with eyes that said „please just play along‟. It was one less reason for him to suspect that I was in love with his girlfriend. She rolled her eyes.

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“Oh yes Taeyeon is a top notch lover. When she falls in love she loves with all her heart and soul. I‟m such a lucky person.” Donghae laughed. “Indeed. The both of you look sweet together. Just like me and Jessica.” The sentence that came out of his mouth just killed me again. “Anyway do you mind if I took a look at your room? I heard from Jessica that your room is really beautiful.” Donghae requested. “Sure. Come on over.” I said as I walked into my room. I hung my towel on the towel rack. The room was really neat. Yoona even made my bed for me. She was quick. “Wow.” Donghae exclaimed as he entered my room. “It really is beautiful. Even the view from your balcony is great. Hey you have the latest game console! Damn you really know how to live the life.” Donghae said excitedly. “It seems like the both of you really love the same things.” Yoona said intentionally. I glared at her and then smiled when Donghae looked at me and asked if he could play. “Sure. Help yourself.” I said to him. I wished he would give me the same reply when I asked for Jessica. “Woah you have a whole lot of cool games! Oh man let‟s play this game.” He said picking up DragonballZ. It was a two player versus game.

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“Great choice.” I smiled. I placed the disc into the console and I picked up a controller. I handed him the other one. We sat on the couch. Yoona and Jessica sat on my bed. We chose our characters and I pushed on the start button. It was time for us to fight. I took the game personally. I punched at the buttons with ease. My character released power after power. I chained a 18 combo move and slaughtered his character with a classic finishing move. I was pleased. This was for all the nightmares he gave me and for all the times he touched Jessica. “What in the world.” Donghae said in disbelief. He didn‟t expect me to be this good. I could tell. “Rematch. I‟ll thrash you this time.” He said with a bruised ego. “You‟ll still lose. Taeyeon is the best.” Yoona said giving me support. “Baby aren‟t you going to support me too?” Donghae said to Jessica. “No. It‟s obvious that Taeyeon is better than you are. I‟m with her.” The words that came out of Jessica‟s mouth made me edgy yet happy. It sounded like beautiful music to my ears. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I smiled. It was genuine smile. I was enjoying the moment. He was bent on defeating me. I let him pick his character first. He chose Vegeta. It was my favourite character. We seem to have a keen liking for the same things, Jessica inclusive. I pushed a button and let the machine select a random character for me. I was that confident. This time round I thrashed him completely. He couldn‟t even execute a single move and I had him cornered. I slaughtered him with a perfect score. It happened so quickly that he was sitting there in total shock. Yoona laughed. “I told you so. Taeyeon is the best. You can never beat her. Try harder while Jessica and I prepare lunch.” Yoona said as the both of them headed out. When they left the room Donghae turned to me. He made sure they were out of ear shot before he started speaking. “I know that you are very close to Jessica.” He said in a very serious tone. “I also know that Jessica is a very attractive girl and many people are attracted to her.” He continued. My heart started pounding. I was worried. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Did he suspect? Chapter 13 “So what are you trying to say here?” I asked him. I was uncertain where he was taking this conversation. I fiddled with the game controller feeling slightly nervous. “Can you watch Jessica when I‟m not around? Yoona and you are just too sweet together so I trust you to be around Jessica. Something doesn‟t feel right lately. I suspect that she may be cheating on me or something of that sort. Are you aware if there is any other guy in her life now?” He asked me pleading for the truth. I felt slightly relieved when he asked me to keep an eye on Jessica to make sure that she stayed faithful to him. Then again it was a ridiculous request to ask of the one person who is hopelessly in love with her. “No there isn‟t any guy in the picture right now.” I made a factual statement. “Ok but something isn‟t right. It almost feels like she‟s always thinking of someone or something when she‟s with me.” He continued confiding in me. “I see. What makes you so sure that there‟s someone else?” I probed. “Sica has been quite reluctant to get physical with me. And when we get physical it almost seems like she‟s thinking of someone else. Even the manner in which she kisses me is different. It feels like someone else has intruded. I‟ve been with her for 6 years. I know her well enough to sense the

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change in her. She hasn‟t been satisfying my needs like she used to. Taeyeon you have got to help me find out who this person is. I‟m pretty sure there is someone.” He seemed really confident of that. “Well I can tell you for certain that there is definitely no other guy in Jessica‟s life.” I was sure of that. There was only me. “Ok. I believe you. Anyway promise me you‟ll take care of Jessica and watch her from getting intimate with any other guy when I‟m not around.” He asked of me. It was a smart and yet a dumb choice to ask me of that favour. “I definitely will keep Jessica away from getting intimate with any other guy and I will most definitely take care of her. Don‟t worry.” It was again yet another fact. I didn‟t like to lie. I rather speak the truth unobtrusively. “Anyway how long have you been with Yoona?” He questioned. I hope that he didn‟t suspect that we were only putting on an act. “Well Yoona and I have known each other since we were young. She came here to study because of me.” I conveniently left out the answer to his question. Yoona and I were not together. I was thankful that my parents gave me wit. “That‟s sweet of her. If only Sica could sacrifice studying here and stayed behind for me.” He said disappointed in her. Why couldn‟t he get a job here in the city for her then? It didn‟t make sense to me. I would have done that for her any day. “Oh well. You can‟t compare them. Anyway how did you know Author : Yongel [email protected]

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that Yoona and I were together?” I was really curious what led him into thinking we were an item. “Well you know that Sica calls me every morning right? She tells me about all the people that she meets. One day she started talking about you and she told me that she thinks that Yoona was seeing you. It‟s new to her you know girl on girl. We‟ve never seen such couples much. No offense alright it‟s just that it‟s pretty novel to us. She was really curious to know if the both of you were together. Now that I‟ve met the both of you, I instantly knew that her initial speculation was right.” He said explaining a whole deal. I was amused. Do people still not see that not everything is what it seems? “Anyway let‟s continue playing.” I didn‟t want to have to talk about Jessica anymore. It was just too hard to talk about someone you love to their lover. It was also bothersome to have to continue misleading him about Yoona. “Ok.” Donghae said as he picked his character. This time round I let him win. I wasn‟t too obvious about it. I knew his favourite attacks. I planned mine such that he could get through my character‟s defences and win. I didn‟t want him in a bad mood. Jessica would have to suffer if he were. We continued and we switched between a few other games. Finally lunch was ready. It was my first proper meal in these few days. Yoona cooked soup for Yuri. Yuri still wasn‟t completely well. Otherwise I would never be able to borrow her girlfriend.

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The four of us sat at the table and started eating. Jessica picked some food for Donghae and placed it in his bowl. She always got food for Donghae. She must have been doing this for him for the past 6 years. I didn‟t like it. He just sat there waiting to be served most of the time. Yoona played her role well. She picked up some food with her chopsticks and fed me. She placed it directly in my mouth. I saw envy in Donghae‟s eyes. I knew he wanted more from Jessica. He had already expressed his dissatisfaction earlier in my room. “So what time are you heading back tomorrow? Do you need to borrow the car again?” Yoona asked Donghae. “I‟m leaving at 8am in the morning.” He said. I was looking forward to 8am tomorrow. “It would be great if we could borrow the car.” Jessica said to Yoona. “Sure go ahead. Yuri would be fine with it. You can drive him tomorrow.” She said to Jessica. “But I don‟t know my way around here well. Taeyeon can you come along tomorrow?” Jessica asked of me. “Yeah come along Taeyeon. You have to see me off and you have to help Sica out. She‟s hopeless when it comes to directions.” Donghae said looking at me.

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I agreed. I was impatient for his departure. *** We were in the car. I was in the front seat with Jessica. Donghae was seated behind. I took shotgun so I could direct her. He wasn‟t familiar with the roads here as well. It made it seem like Jessica and I were the couple and he was just a visitor. We finally arrived at the bus terminal. We got off the car. I helped him with his bags. Before he left he specifically told me this. “Remember to take care of Jessica on my behalf.” I knew what he meant. He was insistent that Jessica was in love with someone else. “I will.” I was already caring for Jessica more than he could ever imagine. If he knew how I felt towards her. He would never allow me near her. He hugged Jessica before he left. “See you around Donghae. Have a safe trip.” I said as I turned and walk away. I thought to give the couple some time alone. It was not my Author : Yongel [email protected]

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place to be there. I stood by the car. I could see the couple in the distance. Donghae placed his hands around Jessica‟s waist. I could tell from his body language that he was geared up for a long passionate kiss. It was an uncomfortable sight. He leaned over. He placed his lips on Jessica‟s. He was just about to part his lips when Jessica placed her right hand on his left shoulder. She pulled away. She said something, gave him a light peck on the cheeks and released herself from his grip. She walked away. He stood there with fury in his eyes. It seemed like he was disappointed at her and yet mad at her for not giving him what he wanted. He turned to look at me. He waved. He pointed at Jessica and nodded his head at me. His face looked slightly dark. He wasn't smiling. I wished that gesture meant „here Jessica is all yours take care of her‟. His true intention was of course „please remember what I told you.‟ He boarded the bus. Jessica was already almost at the car. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I got into the passenger seat first. Jessica waved one last time at him. The bus he was on drove off. He was finally gone. Jessica got into the driver‟s seat. She shut her door. I reached for the seat belt. Before I could proceed to clip the seat belt in place, Jessica reached for my neck. She pulled me towards her in one swift motion. It all happened too quickly. She caught me by surprise. She pushed her lips against mine. She forced my lips apart with her tongue. She kissed me with much urgency. She was no longer in the driver‟s seat. She was crouching over me. Our tongues entwined. Chapter 14 Jessica’s Perspective [1 week ago – Parallel to Chapter 10 and 11]

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Donghae was arriving today. The reason why I decided to study here was to spend time apart from him. I felt suffocated when we were together. I thought that spending time apart could help. When we were together everything was always about him. He expected too much from me. I was tired of it. When we first got together I was young and innocent. He taught me everything I knew. I listened well. He was like a charming prince. I felt lucky that he chose me to be his princess. So many other girls wanted him but I was the lucky one. Or so I thought. As time went by I started to feel more and more restricted. He got jealous when there were other guys around me. He expected me to be there with him all the time. He didn‟t allow me personal time. He didn‟t allow me to hang out with my friends. He was too used to the docile Jessica.The years passed and I started having lesser and lesser friends. My life revolved around him and his friends. I had to do what he wanted to do and I had to go where he wanted to go. It was all about him. I know that he loves me but I think he loves himself more. He was too used to the attention that girls gave him. It moulded him. He was a chauvinist. He reminded me of my father. They were both traditional men. They got along well.

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I made my choice when I got with him but now I was feeling regret. It was not that I did not love him. I still love him but I‟m just not in love with him anymore. I didn‟t want to let six years of relationship go down the drain. I knew that if I stuck around longer I would break down soon enough. I decided that I had to do something to rekindle the spark. Time apart was the best solution. He was angry when I told him what I wanted. He shouted at me and hurled hurtful abuses at me. He expected me to change my mind. He thought that I would give in to him. My mind was set. Nothing could change it. I remember the exact words I said to him. “It is either you let me go now or you let me go forever. It‟s as simple as that. It is my life and my choice. Respect it or live without me.” It shocked him. He never expected such firm words from me. It was the first time I spoke up to him. He had no choice but to support me in my decision. He made me promise to call him every morning to keep him updated. It was bothersome but I agreed. I didn‟t like that I had to report to him but we had to compromise somewhere. So now here I am. Yoona was going to drive me to the bus terminal.

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I was not looking forward to it. I was actually dreading it. In the first week that we were apart I did miss him. I really did. Now, things were different. *** “Jessica why don‟t you look for him. I‟ll just wait here in the car.” Yoona said to me as she parked the vehicle at the side of the road. There was an entire swarm of people walking around. They were like little ants crawling haphazardly. Most of them were students. Students travelling home to visit or going somewhere for a short trip. I walked around looking for Donghae. I sure hope that he would get lost in the massive crowd so I didn‟t have to bring him back to the dorm. Suddenly I heard someone call out my name. “SICA!” I turned. Donghae had a backpack on his shoulder and another duffel bag in his right hand. He ran towards me. I didn‟t know how to react. He was right in front of me. He dropped his bag to the ground. He gave me a bear hug. I didn‟t hug back. I knew he was about to kiss me on the lips. I pulled away before he could initiate the kiss. “Let‟s hurry and go. Yoona is waiting in the car.” Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“Oh Yoona huh. The one who‟s with Taeyeon. Can‟t wait to meet them all!” Donghae said enthusiastically. I‟ve been talking to him about them. She was all I wanted to talk about. He held my hands as we walked. I let him. We finally arrived at the car. I proceeded to the front passenger seat. He looked at me. “Sica ah aren‟t you going to sit with me in the backseat?” “Donghae don‟t be silly. It‟s rude. Yoona‟s not our driver. Just sit in the back we have plenty of time together this week.” I said slightly irritated at his request. I didn‟t know what was bugging me but he just got on my nerves. *** Yoona parked. We returned to our flat. The rest of the girls were excited to finally meet Donghae for the first time. He got a lot of attention and he enjoyed it. It was obvious that he did. I saw that Taeyeon and Yuri were not over yet. I wonder what she was up to. I miss her presence. “Hey girls alright I‟ll settle down first I‟ll see you all at dinner.” Donghae said to the girls. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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He took my hands. “Now let‟s go to your room.” He said dragging me along. He stopped at the corridor. “So which is your room?” I twisted the door knob of the first door to the left. He smirked and he hurried me in. When we were both in the room. Donghae immediately shut the door behind us. He locked the door. He dropped his bags on the ground hastily. He kissed my lips. I knew what he wanted. I moved back. “Stop Donghae.” He forced himself on me again. I pushed him away again. I pointed at the curtains. I wasn‟t afraid that people would see us. I just couldn‟t bring myself to kiss him. It felt so wrong? He grinned. He went to draw the curtains. He grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. “Donghae seriously let‟s not do this. We‟re going to have dinner soon.” I said thinking up some random excuse. I didn‟t enjoy his touch. He ignored me. He started kissing me even more. He pushed me towards the bed. I struggled a little. He thought I was fooling around. He refused to stop. I felt overpowered. He kissed me I didn‟t kiss back.

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I was close to tears. All I could think of was Taeyeon. I didn‟t want Donghae the same way anymore. I felt guilty towards him. Just then there was a knock on the door. That knock totally redeemed me. I pushed Donghae aside. “I told you not to fool around.” He cheekily kissed my cheeks and leaned against the study table. I straightened out my hair and my clothes. I was still breathless from all that struggling. I opened the door. I saw Taeyeon. I was slightly shocked to see her. I was conscious. I didn‟t want her to misunderstand me. I didn‟t want her to think that the first thing I did was to make out with Donghae. On the other hand I was glad to see her. I was glad she knocked too. They introduced themselves. I took the opportunity to leave the room with them. I pushed Donghae towards the bed asking him to rest. Taeyeon‟s presence made me feel safe. She made me feel happy. ***

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The kitchen was hot. Everyone in the flat helped out with dinner. I was busy preparing the surprise birthday cake for Donghae. After all I could only do this much for him. Part of me felt bad towards him. He travelled all the way for me but I was constantly thinking of someone else. I sneaked glances at Taeyeon. It was going to be tough to keep away from her for one week. One week with Donghae meant one week away from Taeyeon. *** We were done with dinner. Donghae instantly headed for the living room. He never bothered to lift a finger to help out. It was time for the surprise. I took the cake out and Sooyoung hit the lights. I could tell that Donghae was very happy with the surprise. He felt special. I was glad he felt that way. I didn‟t want him finding out my true feelings. I was standing in front of him. Suddenly the rest of the people started cheering and requesting for us to kiss. My mind turned blank. I didn‟t want to kiss him. I didn‟t want to kiss him in front of Taeyeon. I stood there frozen. This was something I couldn‟t stop from happening. Donghae was still my boyfriend. He leaned forward and our lips touched. I had to hold the kiss. It would be too weird to pull away. It would be too obvious. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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The girls started crowding around us. It was quite the chaotic situation. I didn‟t dare to look up. I could not bring myself to face Taeyeon. It felt like I was cheating with Donghae on her even though he was my boyfriend. Everyone was crowding around us. I felt really overwhelmed. Everyone was saying how cute we were together and stuff like that. I did not pay attention to the words. I was looking out for Taeyeon‟s voice. I wonder if she would say anything. I realised that I heard all but Taeyeon, Yoona and Yuri‟s voice. I looked up. I looked around. I saw Yuri talking to Yoona and then heading out the front door. She seemed like she was in a hurry. I saw Yoona walk around the wall and into the kitchen. I trusted that Taeyeon was there. I took a slice of cake and dragged Donghae to the dining table. I intentionally sat so I was facing Taeyeon. Just then Yoona held her hands and brought her out to the living room. Taeyeon was leaning against the wall. I could see her side profile from where I was seated. She was facing the balcony. I could see her reflection in the glass sliding doors. “Sica ah feed me.” Donghae started tugging at me. I poked at the cake and fed him. I was distracted. I could tell that Taeyeon was looking glum. I didn‟t know if I saw wrongly. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She was smiling the entire night, but in the reflection she seemed sad. Yoona was feeding Taeyeon. I felt sour about it. Just at that moment I saw Taeyeon wiping Yoona‟s lips for her. Yoona bit her finger playfully. I didn‟t like what I saw. Yoona held Taeyeon‟s fingers to her lips. I felt extreme jealousy. I knew I did not have the right to feel this way. Yoona held Taeyeon‟s hands and they came over to say bye. Yoona was staying over at Taeyeon‟s place tonight. “Wow the both of them are really tight.” Donghae started. “Yeah.” I gave a one word answer. Donghae started to point out at the window. “Just look at the both of them walking together hand in hand. They look so sweet together. Yoona is so beautiful. Taeyeon is so lucky.” He continued. I was quite upset by then. It showed on my face. I stood up and returned to my room. Donghae got stunned by my actions. He chased after me. “Sica ah don‟t get upset. I didn‟t mean it that way. I‟m not Author : Yongel [email protected]

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lusting after Yoona.” I was thankful that he misunderstood my actions. I was upset because Taeyeon was holding another girl‟s hands. I was upset because Donghae was here. I was upset that Donghae was keeping me away from Taeyeon. He tried to hug me. I pushed him away. I was not in the mood to entertain him. He spent the whole night trying to pacify me. He kept asking for my forgiveness. There was nothing to forgive. I was the one doing wrong. I was torn. I really wanted to tell him but I thought against it. It was not a wise choice. I had too much at stake. He knew my family. *** It was morning. I barely slept. Taeyeon filled my mind. I just wanted to see her. Donghae was awake too. “Sica are you still mad at me?” I shook my head. All I wanted to do now was to see Taeyeon. “Can you make pancakes for me?” Donghae asked. It gave me an idea.

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“Sure. I‟ll ask Yoona, Yuri and Taeyeon over for breakfast too. They love my pancakes too.” I said as I left my room. I dialled Taeyeon‟s number. “Hello.” It was Taeyeon‟s voice. Her voice cracked. She didn‟t seem so well. I was worried. It sounded like she caught a cold. I invited the three of them over but Taeyeon told me that Yuri and Yoona were at the doctor‟s. I managed to get Taeyeon to come over alone. I hurried to wash up and proceeded to make pancakes. Donghae seemed happy. He must have assumed that I was rushing off to make pancakes for him. Of course I couldn‟t correct that thought of his. I continued preparing. I was looking forward to Taeyeon‟s arrival. There was a whole stack of pancakes on the plate in the centre of the table. It was waiting for Taeyeon‟s arrival just like I was. Finally the doorbell rang! I ran to the door. It was no one but Taeyeon. The only person I wanted to see. “It‟s good to see you. Good morning.” I said sincerely. It was really good to see her.

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I held on to her hands. It was nice to feel her hands in mine. I did not want to let go. But I had to. I released her hands as we neared the dining area. I sat back down beside Donghae. Taeyeon sat opposite. Donghae and Taeyeon started conversing. I couldn‟t take my eyes off Taeyeon. Taeyeon asked Donghae if he slept well. “Nope. Jessica kept me busy all night.” He said grinning. I was mad at him when he said that. The sentence was very very very misleading. I nudged him. I was really irritated. I asked him to shut up. He laughed it off. He thought I didn‟t want Taeyeon to know that I was jealous. She laughed too. But her laugh didn‟t sound right. She helped herself to water. Donghae asked for some too. I offered to get it for him. I stood beside Taeyeon. I stood close to her. I was looking at her. She didn‟t look at me. I could sense that she was upset. I just wanted her to look up at me. She stubbornly chose not to. I returned to my seat. Taeyeon did so shortly. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She wolfed down whatever was left of her pancakes. She stood up and waved. She said that she was leaving. It seemed like she was in a great hurry to leave. I did not want her to leave but yet I could not stop her. Donghae started getting all touchy. I hated that he did this in front of Taeyeon. He dragged me back to the room. I knew what he was expecting. I kept staring at Taeyeon‟s backview. She kept walking towards the main door. She shouted back to us “Enjoy and bye!” before she stepped out the door. That sentence pained me. It felt like she was delivering me on a silver platter to Donghae. Chapter 15 [2 weeks ago – Timeline to be just after Chapter 9] Yuri and I were climbing up the stairs to Jessica‟s flat. She was here for Yoona I was here because Yoona invited me over too. Of course I wanted to be here so I could see Jessica. I had just spent the night in Jessica‟s room by accident. Yuri and Yoona of course spent the night together with every

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intention of being together. Yuri pushed on the doorbell. We heard slow footsteps walking towards the door. Whatever was cooking inside sure made our mouth water. All we saw was the brown laminated wooden door. We heard the latch. The door handle tilted downwards. The door opened. I knew Yuri wanted it to be Yoona and I wanted it to be Jessica. It would be perfect if they could both open the door together but that would obviously be silly. It was my day! Jessica pulled the door open. I was glad to see her again but I didn‟t want her to see it. She can‟t know of my feelings especially after last night. “Hi Jessica. We‟re here for Yoona.” I said as Yuri and I stepped into the flat. Jessica shut the door. She returned to the kitchen. “Oh hi the both of you are here.” Yoona said poking her head around the kitchen wall. Yuri and I sat at the dining table. We faced the kitchen. The girls were busy preparing food. It was a beautiful sight. Jessica was making pancakes again. It seems like that is the only thing she can make. Of course they were delicious! They smelt delicious. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Yoona was preparing tuna sandwiches. “Wow. Smells good. Jessica is just so amazing.” Yuri said taking a deep breath. She was obviously referring to the pancakes. “Thanks for the compliment. I‟m not that fantastic, this is my only specialty.” Jessica said in a very as a matter of fact manner. “It doesn‟t matter. Your pancakes are totally fantastic! It makes my mouth water!” Yuri said cheerfully. I looked at Yoona. I saw a hint of jealousy. Yuri didn‟t know Yoona as well as me. She was in for it. I just laughed to myself and waited for the situation to unfold. I was just going to sit back and enjoy the show. Yoona was done preparing the sandwiches. She took the whole plate over. Yuri reached over. She wanted to help herself to a sandwich. Yoona smacked her hands. “Don‟t touch the sandwiches. It‟s for Taeyeon. You can ask Jessica if you can have some of her pancakes. I‟m sure she wouldn‟t mind. Right Jessica?” I smiled at Yuri as I helped myself to a sandwich. Yuri frowned. She finally caught on. Jessica turned her head to us, unaware of what was going on.

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“Yeah of course.” She switched off the fire. She took a whole stack of pancakes over. She sat opposite of Yuri. Yoona was already seated opposite of me. It seemed like a couple breakfast gathering. Just that we were sitting in the wrong pairs. “Here Yuri help yourself since you like them so much.” Jessica said as she shoved the plate towards Yuri. Something sure didn‟t feel right. Jessica always shared with everyone. This time she only offered Yuri. It was a weird morning. I was stuck with sandwiches and Yuri was stuck with pancakes. We didn‟t have a choice so we ate. We were finally done with our oh so awkward breakfast. “Hey Yuri let‟s wash up since the both of them prepared the food.” Yuri nodded at me. We took the plates and started washing the pan and the plates. Both girls went back to their room. “You are so screwed you made Yoona jealous.” I said laughing at Yuri.

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“If you think you‟re any better I think that Jessica is behaving weird too. You‟re not trouble free too you know.” Yuri said smirking as she splashed some water at me. “HA whatever.” I knew inside that Jessica was behaving a little odd. It almost seemed like she was more cold than usual. I really hope that it isn‟t because of last night. I didn‟t mean to get so physical with her. “Ok time to resolve the problem. I shall settle mine and you can do some reflection since you don‟t even know what your problem is.” Yuri said as she sped off to Yoona‟s room. I decided to apologise again just in case. I knocked on Jessica‟s room door. The door was open. I just knocked to get her attention. She was sitting at her laptop. She turned and she saw me. She turned back to her laptop. “Did you need something?” She asked with her back towards me. I swear she was really not herself. “Oh um. I just wanted to talk to you.” I said walking in to the room. I sat down on the edge of her bed. “What did you want to talk about?” She asked coldly. I was getting more fearful as the moments went by. It felt almost like Jessica knew that I had feelings for her and she was being cold because she wanted to create distance between us. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“Well about last night…” I didn‟t know how to continue so I paused for a while. “Stop talking about last night already? I know I won‟t tell Yoona ok?? So if you‟re done talking please get out. I‟m busy.” Jessica said glaring at me. She appeared to be very irritated. It was the first time I saw her like that. It kind of shocked me. “Ok. I‟m sorry.” I stood up and left her room. I walked into the living room alone. There wasn‟t anyone around. Everyone was either out or in their rooms. I walked to the balcony. I was feeling a little upset that I kind of ruined everything. If only I didn‟t sleep over. If only I kept awake better. I leaned against the white railings in the balcony. I sighed. I really wanted to be as close as I could get to Jessica. We could be good friends for all I care. I just wanted to stay close to her. I stared at the grass patch below. I looked at the tree leaves. They were almost entirely yellow. Nature had its ways of doing things. It was soothing to just watch the scenery from the balcony. It reminded me that I had been quite uptight about Jessica. Maybe I should relax and let nature take its course. If things were meant to be they were meant to be. If they were not, they were not.

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Chapter 16 I heard the balcony door slide apart. I turned my head. It was Jessica. I smiled at her. She stepped out and stood beside me. I was still resting on the railings. “It‟s quite a beautiful sight isn‟t it.” I said to her. “Yes it is. I‟m sorry about just now. I didn‟t mean to burst out at you.” She said in a very soft guilty manner. “Don‟t be silly. It‟s ok. I didn‟t take it to heart. Anyway I wasn‟t going to tell you not to tell Yoona. I just wanted to apologise for last night.” I said looking at her. “Oh. It‟s ok. There‟s nothing much to apologise about. I slept quite well.” Jessica said. I thought I heard say the last four words a little shyly. I was not sure but it sure sounded that way. There was really no reason for her to be shy. I must have heard wrong. Just then we heard muffled shouting coming from the flat. It was muffled because we closed the sliding doors but we could still hear what Yuri was shouting. “I LOVE IM YOONA SHE‟S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GIRL EVER!” Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Both Jessica and I turned at the same time. Yuri had both her hands cupped by her mouth. She was shouting down towards the hallway. She kept shouting the same thing. Yoona suddenly appeared from the corridor. She cupped Yuri‟s mouth with her hands. She was smiling. I knew that she was happy. Yuri hugged her. It sounded like she said to Yoona. “Don‟t be mad anymore alright? I love you.” Yoona nodded. I just had to interrupt the moment. It was too tempting. I slid the door open and poked my head through. “Yaaaaaa we know you love Yoona you didn‟t have to shout so loudly. Now the whole world knows you belong to Yoona. Awww now I‟m heartbroken. You‟re taking my Yoona away.” I said teasing. “YAaa! Quit teasing.” Yuri shouted back at me. Her eyes shifted to the figure beside me. “Well well. Why do you need Yoona when you are in love with…” I was too far away. I couldn‟t stop what Yuri was going to say. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I immediately shut the sliding doors. I saw Yoona smack Yuri. Yuri stopped mid sentence. “I wasn‟t going to say. I was just teasing.” Yuri said to Yoona. We could still hear them. Yuri stuck her tongue at me and the both of them disappeared into the walkway hand in hand. My heart was racing. I almost thought that Yuri was going to give me away. Jessica was looking at me with amusement in her eyes. “What‟s going on?” She asked me. It was a vague question. I did not know what she was asking but I assumed that she must be asking about Yoona and Yuri. “Well the both of them are an item. Yoona was jealous this morning. So I think Yuri just managed to pacify her.” I laughed as I remembered the scene from earlier. It was quite funny. “Ohhh..” That was all that came out of Jessica‟s mouth. I laughed again. “Yeah Yoona spent the night over at Yuri‟s and things must have happened.” “So you and Yuri like to sleep over and take advantage of girls huh?” Jessica said looking at me straight in the eye. My face turned red instantaneously. “Umm I didn‟t mean it. I err..” I tried hard to explain the Author : Yongel [email protected]

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situation but I must have lost my tongue. Where did my wit go when I needed it? Jessica started laughing. “I was just kidding. Relax.” I was relieved. Her next question caught me by surprise. “So who‟s the one that you are so in love with?” It felt like an ambush. It was all thanks to Yuri. I was so going to murder her in cold blood later. “Oh err there‟s no one. She‟s just kidding around.” I said feeling really edgy. I didn‟t dare to look Jessica in the eye when I said that. “Ok then. Since you don‟t treat me as a friend I should leave.” Jessica said and she turned to walk away. I grabbed her hands to stop her from leaving. It was a reflex action. I hated it. Having fast reflexes were a pain sometimes. Jessica turned to look at me. “Oh I‟m sorry.” I released her hands. “I just wanted to let you know that you‟re my friend.” I didn‟t know what else to say but that. She laughed again.

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“I know I was just teasing.” I swear Jessica is acting all weird today. First she‟s so cold and now she‟s such a joker. “So my friend. There‟s this movie screening in the theatre right now and I really want to watch it. Will you go with me?” Jessica just asked me for a movie. Hell yeah. Of course I would LOVE to go. “Sure. When do you want to watch it?” I asked her. “Let‟s go now since we have nothing to do.” She said as she pushed one sliding panel aside. Something didn‟t quite make sense. First she said that she‟s busy and now she says that she has nothing to do. She really was behaving really odd today. “Ok I‟ll go get changed. I‟ll see you at the bottom of the stairs in fifteen minutes?” “Yup see you.” She waved to me cheerfully and went back to her room. I didn‟t care if she was weird today. What matters is that I‟m going for a movie with her! I went out the door and ran back to my flat. I was excited! *** I was standing at the foot of the stairs. I paced around. In my excitement I realised I didn‟t even ask Jessica what movie we Author : Yongel [email protected]

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were going to watch. I hope that I wasn‟t too obvious. I slipped my hands into the pockets of my black Jacket. It was slightly chilly today. I heard the door open. I looked up. I saw Jessica walking down the stairs. She was wearing a long sleeved white top and a faded pair of blue jeans. The jeans accentuated her curves. She looked totally gorgeous. *** We arrived at the cinema. It was fairly quiet. It was a Monday so most people were either at school or work. We just happen to be lucky students with no classes scheduled on Mondays. We didn‟t even have to queue to buy the tickets to the movie. The both of us walked up to the lady at the counter. I let Jessica do the talking. The lady let us select our seats. “I want seats in the last row.” Jessica said to the lady. “Oh all the seats in the last row are couple seats. Will that be fine with the both of you?” The lady said looking at both Jessica and I. “Is that fine Taeyeon? I just really prefer to seat in the last row. I don‟t like people sitting behind me.” “Yeah sure. You make the call. I‟ll be fine.” I said trying to contain my joy. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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We got the tickets and I bought a large drink for the both of us to share. Honestly I was still completely clueless about the movie. We stepped into the theatre and found our seats. If felt weird to have no arm rest in between Jessica and I. It felt like there was nothing keeping me away from her. I only had my will. It was my only line of defence. I intentionally left a small gap in between us when I sat down. It was akin to a little ditch around the castle to keep the tsunami waves out. After yesterday I was being more cautious of my actions. I looked around and I noticed that the people around us were mainly male and female pairings. It was an abnormal amount of such pairings. I wonder why. The lights turned down. The movie was going to begin. The title came on. I finally understood why there were so many couples. It was a horror movie. Fortunately I was not one who was afraid or I would have been so screwed. The movie started. There was eerie music playing. I felt Jessica fidgeting slightly. Was she afraid? Author : Yongel [email protected]

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My arms were crossed initially because I didn‟t know where to place my right hand. There was no arm rest to my right. There was only Jessica. I placed my right hand loosely on my thighs, my palm facing upwards. I did that just in case she needed a hand to hold. Just then *BAM* a ghost made a shocking appearance. Jessica grabbed my arm. Wow I love the ghost. Her left hand grabbed my arm and her right hands landed right in the palms of my hand. After that scene she very very gently slid her arms off mine. I was thinking if I should place my arms around her but then I held back. Then came this scene. It was totally unexpected. I admit that it did shock me too. But the greater shock came from Jessica. She practically dived into my shoulders. Her left hand was grabbing the right sleeve of my jacket and her right hand was hanging on to my left waist. My heart was pounding. I was not so afraid of the ghost. My fear was that of losing control. My right arm was in an extremely awkward position.

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I had two choices. The first was to not move and stay in that awkward position until she releases me. The second was to slide my right arm across her back and wrap it comfortably around her waist. I thought about it for around two minutes. Images continued flickering on the screen. Nothing went into my head. Her head was still on my shoulder. She did not move an inch away from me. I could only resist so much. I very subtly snaked my arms around her. She released the grip of her left hand and placed it around the back of my waist. It felt comfortable. Our bodies fitted well together. It was like she was the Koala and I was her tree. She kept her head against the front of my shoulders throughout the movie. The top of her head touched my neck. Her scent was intoxicating. It gave me butterflies at the pit of my tummy. The show lasted a good two hours and we remained in that position for a good part of the show. This was yet another beautiful memory for me to keep and to hold.

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Chapter 17 Jessica’s Perspective [Timeline Friday – One day before Chapter 1] I just got off the phone with Donghae. It was already 8pm. I was upset. I only called him in the evening because I was rushing for school this morning. He was unhappy about it. The first few days were going well. I thought that this could be a new beginning for the both of us. When I first arrived I did miss him more than usual. Today was the trigger. I have managed to come to terms that he is a possessive demanding little freak and I should just enjoy my time away from him. A leopard can never change its spots. This leopard had dark spots. I stood up and went out onto the balcony. The air was cool. It made me feel slightly better already. I looked out into the distance. There were people walking home from school. Some others in the flat around mine were preparing dinner already. I was glad I chose this path. Everything else felt better than being by his side. Don‟t get me wrong. I care for him but I just find it tough Author : Yongel [email protected]

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being with him. Perhaps I was too drained. I needed to recharge. Just then there was a strong gust of wind. “Holy crap!” I heard a voice exclaim. I saw paper flying around and settling across the lawn right below my balcony. A small figure started running after the papers. She wasn‟t the only victim to the strong wind. Someone from the opposite flat was hanging out her laundry and one of her top flew and got stuck in the solitary tree in the lawn. It was quite the sight. A gust of wind could cause so much inconvenience. Just like how one Donghae can make my life such a mess. I wonder how life for me could be different if I never accepted him then. The short girl finally picked up all her papers. She looked over and she saw the other person throwing twigs and what not at the top stuck in the branch. “Here let me help you.” She said to the helpless girl. I wonder what the short girl had up her sleeves. She stuffed the bunch of notes into her backpack and placed her bag down on the grass.

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She rolled up her sleeves and started climbing up the tree. She sure was agile. The top was hanging on the branch that was extended quite a long way from the tree trunk. It was impossible to imagine what the short girl would do next. I was curious. Instead of walking on the branch she hung on to the branch with both hands and feet. Her back towards the ground and her face was tilted towards the moon. It was the first time I saw her face. She was very attractive. All this time she had a smile on her face. She gave off this air of confidence. It was quite charming. She moved with ease. She reached for the top. She held it in her left hands. She turned to the girl standing on the ground. “I‟ll toss it to you. Catch alright?” The girl nodded at her question. She tossed the top. She held on to the branch with both hands. She unwrapped both legs from the tree branch and jumped off. She landed perfectly on both feet. She was amazing. If it were Donghae he would just tell me that he‟ll buy a new Author : Yongel [email protected]

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top for me. He would never climb a tree. She was doing it for a perfect stranger. She was a perfect gentleman. Ok the description is not apt because she‟s not a male but if she was she would be a total heart throb. The girl thanked her and she replied in an absolutely charming manner that it was her pleasure to do so. I was curious to know her. She seemed like a unique character to befriend. I could not take my eyes off her. “Taeyeon ah turning on your charms on some innocent girl again huh?” A tall girl with stark black hair was shouting from across the lawn. “Yaaaa Kwon Yuri stop talking crap. I was just helping.” She shouted back. Taeyeon picked up her bag and started walking towards Yuri. She said bye to the other girl before she left. I wonder what that sentence meant. The one about her turning on her charms on an innocent girl. Did she like girls? I didn‟t realise but I was smiling to myself. *** I was trying to sleep. It was really noisy. There was laughter coming from the room beside mine. They were making a whole lot of noise. I could not take it Author : Yongel [email protected]

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anymore. It was a Saturday. I wanted to sleep. It was rare that I did not have to call Donghae on a Saturday morning but someone else had to be all noisy and disrupt my sleep. I got out of bed irritated. I headed to Yoona‟s room. I knocked. The noise didn‟t stop. The door opened. I looked at what was causing the noise. It was the girl from last night? Yoona was tickling her. This was such a coincidence. I asked for them to quieten down and I went back to my room. I was slightly shocked to see her. I thought of how she behaved last night. It was cute. I went back to bed. It took me a while to fall asleep again. *** I woke up. It was afternoon. I started working on my assignment. It was due the following week. I sat there typing for what seemed like forever. Finally I was almost done. It was a really warm autumn day. I felt a little sweaty. I decided to take a shower. I took a nice long shower. It felt good.

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I thought of her. I wonder if I would get to see her again. I dried myself and wrapped my towel around me. I opened the bathroom door and I headed back to my room. It felt much cooler now. I was a few steps from Yoona‟s room door when the door opened. It all happened in a split second but it didn‟t seem like it was Yoona. The person standing in the doorway was too short. Was it her? I could not resist the temptation. I turned to glance at her. She seemed like a spell was being cast on her. She was motionless. I knew what that meant. She found me attractive. The look on her face said it all. I entered my room happy to know that she was attracted to me. I sat in my towel and completed the last bit of my assignment. I was finally done. Then came a rumble in my tummy. I realised I haven‟t had anything to eat the entire day. I went to the kitchen. Something sure smelt great. She was sitting beside Yoona. I opened the refrigerator door and took out my carton of milk. I placed it on the countertop and reached for a glass in the drying rack hanging above the sink. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I wonder if she was looking at me. I poured myself a glass of milk. I was thinking what to make for dinner. I took a sip of milk. “Jessica do you want to join us for dinner? I made quite a lot and you can have some too if you‟re hungry.” I turned. I accepted the offer. She was looking so silly. There was a grain of rice at the corner of her lip. I knew she was checking me out. Her face was slightly flushed. Yoona took the rice grain off Taeyeon‟s lips. They sure were close. I knew that if I didn‟t get changed she would probably die of a heart failure due to over excitement. It was funny to see someone so attracted to me. I haven‟t felt the thrill in a long time. I set my glass of milk down beside her and headed back to my room. I put on some clothes and I came out. I sat down beside her. I saw that Yuri was silently smiling and Taeyeon kicked her under the table. Something definitely was going on. Yuri could not contain her laughter.

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It seemed like Yoona was unaware because she questioned Yuri about her outburst. When Yuri said that Taeyeon was red because the rice was too spicy I offered Taeyeon my glass of milk. I didn‟t think much of it. I truly thought that it was too spicy but then I realised it may have been a cover up when I saw Taeyeon‟s reaction. She was hesitant to take the milk. I wonder if it was because Yoona was around. They seemed exceptionally close. After a long pause and my offer to get a new glass of milk and not having enough milk left for a full glass Taeyeon finally accepted the milk. She drank. She looked satisfied. Maybe it was really spicy. I could not really tell anymore. She took her lips away from the glass. She had a milk moustache. She looked so cute and dorky. All of us laughed. Yoona wiped the milk moustache away for her. They really had an extraordinary relationship. It was not that of normal friends. I was very very curious. Yoona started talking about my boyfriend. That was another tell tale sign. It heightened my curiousity. I really wanted to know if Yoona and Taeyeon were in a relationship.

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I prayed hard that they were not. Soon after we finished I offered to wash the dishes with Taeyeon. We started talking. I knew she liked girls but I wanted to know if she was attached. So I asked if she had a boyfriend. I could not possibly ask her direct if she had a girlfriend. That would be too awkward for our first official meeting. A pity she did not answer my question. She just said that she likes girls. Perhaps she did not want people to know that Yoona and her were a pair. I returned to my room and she went to Yoona‟s room. I was fiddling with my laptop. I was restless. I decided to get myself some water. I stepped out the door and I saw that Taeyeon was leaving. I jumped at the opportunity to get her to proofread my assignment. She pondered for a while before agreeing. I wonder why she had to always think for so long. I had too many questions and too little answers. After she entered my room I realised that I had only one chair. I took the chance to get close to her. We shared a chair. I brushed my arms gently against hers. I could sense her uneasiness. I really could not tell if it was out Author : Yongel [email protected]

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of guilt because she had Yoona or because of any other reason. She concentrated on my paper thereafter. Her focus and her intellect made her incredibly sexy. I‟ve always been a sucker for smart people. I yawned after a while. I was tired. She offered to finish up while I took a nap. I agreed. I shut the door. I lay on the bed such that I was facing her. I wanted to admire her face. I enjoyed the sight of her working. She was so serious and so confident. I think I‟m developing a crush on her. It‟s a weird feeling. I thought of Donghae. If only he could be half as good as her things would be perfect. Too bad my family will never accept it if I ever had a girlfriend. I knew for certain. I dozed off.

Chapter 18 Jessica’s Perspective [Timeline Sunday - continued from previous chapter] I woke up and I realised that it was bright.

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Was it morning already? I looked around and I saw the note on my laptop. Taeyeon must have finished up and left. I was slightly disappointed. I wanted to be able to spend more time with her. I reached for the note. It read „Hey Jessica I‟m tired. I‟ll continue helping you out soon.” I smiled. She was such a helpful person. I washed up before I gave Donghae a call. Throughout the entire conversation I was talking about Taeyeon and Yoona. I had to talk about it. It was killing me. Donghae of course didn‟t suspect anything. He just thought that I was fascinated by two females in love. That was not the case. I was fascinated but my fascination was Taeyeon. This was the longest conversation I have had with Donghae since I arrived. I hung up and then I thought maybe I could make pancakes for everyone and invite Taeyeon and Yuri over. Perfect plan. I knocked on everyone‟s door and told them. Of course Author : Yongel [email protected]

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everyone gladly took up the offer. I specifically told Yoona that she could ask the both of them over too. I started preparing. It took them quite a while before they arrived at the flat. When they were over most of my other flat mates were already done eating. It was the four of us left at the table. We ate and Taeyeon volunteered to continue checking my assignment on my behalf after breakfast. I stepped into my room half expecting to share a chair with her again when she said that she would get Yoona‟s chair instead. I was slightly disappointed. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe she wasn‟t interested in me. The both of us continued with the discussion on my paper. I was thankful she was here to help me. We made quite a few changes. I noticed that she kept placing her hands to her neck. She must be in pain. I offered her a massage. I stood up and placed my hands on her neck. I have to say I was pretty good with my hands. I‟m sure it felt good. She moved away suddenly. Was she afraid that Yoona would see us? The signals she sent were obvious. She was trying to maintain a distance. The reasons were unknown. She said that she was tired and wanted to head back for a nap. She promised to return later. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She left the room and came back again. She forgot Yoona‟s chair. She‟s really just so cute in her own dorky manner. “Leaving already?” I heard Yoona shout down the corridor. “Yes! Don‟t miss me too much!” Taeyeon replied her. “I will so YOU better come back soon.” I was now quite sure that they both of them definitely had something going on. A wave of sadness came over me. I could not explain this. I had a boyfriend. *** The entire afternoon I was waiting. Taeyeon just left me without telling me what time she would come over. I was impatient. Yoona wasn‟t around as well. I wonder if they were together right now. The flat phone rang. I ran out to answer it. It could possibly be Taeyeon. I picked up. True enough it was Taeyeon. She told me that she would drop by at 7pm. I was looking forward to this evening. I had two hours and forty-five minutes to kill. I decided to call Donghae. He was surprised to receive my call. I started talking about Taeyeon and Yoona again. He was my Author : Yongel [email protected]

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only outlet. We talked a little about his visit as well. He said that he was looking forward to it. I on the other hand was not. We talked for a good two hours. Most of it was about Taeyeon. Lucky for me he wasn‟t such a sharp guy. I prepared my dinner and started eating. Seohyun was watching Keroro. I joined her for a while. I kept looking at the clock. It was already 7pm. There was still no sight of Taeyeon. I wanted to call her but I realised that I did not know her flat number. Yoona was not back either. Perhaps they were spending time together. Perhaps Taeyeon had forgotten about me. It was quite upsetting. Seohyun was done. Taeyeon was not here yet. I surfed channels. I chanced upon a documentary. It was talking about love and the brain. It got me occupied for a while. I was not usually interested in such. It caught my eye because it was talking about love. Everything they described I have not felt in a long time. The clock showed 7.32pm. I was beginning to give up hope. I doubt Taeyeon was attracted to me. I must have been reading Author : Yongel [email protected]

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the signals wrong. I looked at the clock every once in a while. Time was crawling by. It was only 7.37pm. Then came a knock on the door. I switched off the TV. I wasn‟t sure what to expect but I sure hope that it was Taeyeon. Indeed it was. I expressed that I wanted to call her but I couldn‟t because Yoona wasn‟t around. I wanted to see if they were really together. Taeyeon confirmed my suspicions. It pained my heart slightly. We proceeded to my room. I haven‟t showered so I asked if she would mind if I did. She did not. I came back after my shower and shut the door. Taeyeon turned and she saw me in my towel. Although it was dark in my room I saw her face turn red. I knew she was feeling shy. I walked over to draw the curtains. I could tell that I was distracting her. She was trying hard to focus on the computer screen but her facial expression said it all. “Hey do you want me to go out while you get changed?” Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Taeyeon suddenly said. I didn‟t see a problem with changing while she was around. “Oh it‟s fine. We‟re all girls anyway.” It was true. It would only be awkward if she was interested in me or if she was worried that Yoona would get jealous. I went on to dry my hair with the hair dryer. She suddenly asked me a question about my paper. I sat down beside her. I was still in my towel. I could feel her body tense up. She was emitting a lot of heat. I tried to answer the question she asked me but I realised that she wasn‟t absorbing much of it. I found her actions amusing. She was really cute when she was this shy. I touched her cheeks and her forehead and asked her if she was ok. At that moment I knew she almost died. I wanted to kiss her then and there. Her skin felt so smooth under my touch. She requested for me to get changed. I wanted to laugh but I held back. Her little actions like this made me fall for her even more. Soon after I was done changing I walked back to Taeyeon‟s side. I realised that she had her eyes shut. She never failed to amazed me. I realised why. My laptop screen was reflective. It took a lot to hold back my laughter. She was incredibly funny. At least her actions were.

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She saw me staring down at her and she said that her eyes were tired. I knew better. I gently placed my hands on her shoulders. It felt really tight and tensed. I offered her a massage again. She declined it saying that she would rather finish up the paper first. I made sure she kept to her word. She was about to leave once we were done. I stopped her. I insisted that she get her massage in return for her assistance. She gave in. I made her lie down in my bed. I sat beside her and started rubbing her shoulders and her neck. It was really very tensed. I kneaded gently and after a mere ten minutes her breathing changed to a slow relaxed pace. It seems like she has fallen asleep. I could not bear to wake her up. She must be really tired. I shut down my laptop and I locked my door. I sat on the study chair and propped my elbows on the bed. I watched her sleep. She looked so innocent when she was asleep. She was really beautiful. I couldn‟t explain the attraction I felt for her. It was different from what I felt when I first met Donghae. I ran my fingers down her cheeks. I wish she were mine. It was a bold wish to have.

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Even if we could not be official, some part of me wanted to be with her. I knew it to be a crazy idea. I had Donghae. She had Yoona. I decided to climb into bed with her. It was a rare opportunity to get this close to her. I switched off the table lamp and climbed into bed carefully. I didn‟t want to wake her. It felt comfortable to be beside her. I lay awake beside her. The rhythm of her breathing calmed me in the silent night. I did not know how long I was awake for. I felt her snuggle into the pillow. She wrapped her arms around my waist. I wanted to spend every night like this with her. I held her arms and placed them more tightly around my body. I pressed closer to her. She closed the distance between us even more. The feelings I had for her felt real in that moment. I think it was real for her too. Chapter 19 Jessica’s Perspective [Timeline Monday - continued from previous chapter] It was morning. I looked at the clock. It was 10am. Her arms were still wrapped around me. She did not take her arms away the entire night.

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I turned so that I was on my back. I gently touched her arms. I love how she holds me. She‟s so gentle and yet she makes me feel so secure. The feeling was inexplicable. I watched her sleep. She looked so pure and innocent. Her fair skin made her look even more like an angel. I could not take my eyes off her. I wonder how things would turn out for the both of us. I was anxious for her reaction when she got up. From the way she held me so tenderly I was quite sure she wanted me more than a friend. I yawned. I raised my left hand to rub my eye. I kept my right hands on Taeyeon‟s arms. I was still looking at her. Just then she opened her eyes too. “OMO. What am I doing here. Did I fall asleep here? I‟m so sorry. I must have been too tired.” Did she really not know that she fell asleep here? Or is it because she doesn‟t know how to react? “It‟s ok.” I said. I yawned again. She still had her hands on my tummy. I intentionally left my Author : Yongel [email protected]

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hands on hers. “OMO. I‟m sorry I must have thought that you were my pillow. I‟m so sorry.” She quickly took her hands away. My hands fell onto the bed. This was too much for me to handle. She thought I was her pillow? I was just…a pillow? I sat up and got off my bed. “Oh anyway good morning.” She said with a broad smile. “Do you have classes today?” She continued. “Nope I don‟t.” I gave a curt reply. How could she ask me such a questions at this moment. I was still stuck in the moment where she thought I was her pillow. Which pillow felt so warm? Which pillow looked like me? I just wanted to get out of the room. I have never felt so rejected in my entire life. This was totally embarrassing. “Wait. Stop. Don‟t open the door yet.” She stopped me. What did she want now? I turned to look at her. Did she have something to say to me? “Can I ask of a favour? Can you please not let Yoona know that I slept over? Please. Before you let me out can you also check that Yoona isn‟t outside? Thanks a lot.” She sounded like she was begging me to spare her life. Her plea was desperate. I was speechless. She spent the entire night hugging me and all she could think of now was Yoona Yoona Yoona. Why did Author : Yongel [email protected]

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she have to upset me like this. I just nodded and went out of the room. I looked around to see whether Yoona was around. I couldn‟t believe that I was adhering to her request. I walked to the bathroom. Yoona was in there. She was brushing her teeth. I wished her good morning. I returned to my room. “Yoona‟s in the bathroom. If you don‟t want to get seen by her you should leave now.” I said to her gesturing for her to leave quickly if she didn‟t want to get caught. Part of me wished that Yoona would walk out the bathroom and see Taeyeon running out of my room. That was plain mean but I did wish that. I felt bad. I know I shouldn‟t break them up. I did not want to as well. I guess I was just overwhelmed by her reaction. It was not what I expected. Yoona was really beautiful. I knew I couldn‟t compare. What's more was that they have known each other for s longer time. I resigned to my fate. I washed up and started preparing breakfast. I felt like pancakes today. It was my comfort food. It was also the only thing I was good at preparing. Yoona was already in the kitchen. She was preparing Tuna sandwiches. It was slightly awkward for me. All I could think of was what Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Taeyeon said this morning. I should never have allowed any of this to happen. But Taeyeon was irresistible. The doorbell rang. “Jessica could you get the door please? My hands are dirty.” I walked towards the door. I pulled open the door to reveal the last person I wanted to see. It was Taeyeon. I was still upset. “Hi Jessica. We‟re here for Yoona.” The words that came out from Taeyeon‟s mouth sounded so deliberate. It was like she wanted me to know that she had Yoona. Yuri and Taeyeon sat down at the dining table. “Wow. Smells good. Jessica is just so amazing.” Yuri just praised my pancakes. “Thanks for the compliment. I‟m not that fantastic, this is my only specialty.” I confessed. “It doesn‟t matter. Your pancakes are totally fantastic! It makes my mouth water!” Yuri said cheerfully. Yoona brought her plate of sandwiches to the table. “Don‟t touch the sandwiches. It‟s for Taeyeon. You can ask Jessica if you can have some of her pancakes. I‟m sure she wouldn‟t mind. Right Jessica?” It sounded like she was talking to Yuri. Did Yoona have to openly display her affection for Taeyeon?

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It got on my nerves. I was going to share my pancakes initially but since Taeyeon has such a huge plate of sandwiches she can stuff herself with the sandwiches her lovely Yoona made specially for her. I offered Yuri the pancakes. Taeyeon and Yuri offered to do the dishes. I returned to my room. I didn‟t want to see Taeyeon. After a while there was a knock on my door. I turned and I saw Taeyeon standing there. What did she want now? I looked back at my laptop. “Did you need something?” I intentionally asked her without looking at her. I just started randomly clicking with my mouse. I was not doing much really. “Oh um. I just wanted to talk to you.” She said as she walked in and sat on my bed. The thought of her on my bed just made me feel angry. “What did you want to talk about?” I was surprised at how cold the words came out. I felt the exact opposite for Taeyeon. “Well about last night…” “Stop talking about last night already? I know I won‟t tell Yoona ok?? So if you‟re done talking please get out. I‟m busy.” I lost control. I was pissed. Why did she have to be this way. She did not have to keep reminding me. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She apologised and left my room. She sounded upset and helpless. At that moment my heart softened. I felt bad for my outburst. The more I thought of it the worse I felt. It took me quite a while to accept that I should just treat Taeyeon as a normal friend. After all she did no wrong. Why should I get angry at her and let her suffer for my mistake. I went out of my room. Yuri was knocking on Yoona‟s room door. She smiled at me when I came out of my room. She kept knocking. Was Yoona busy with Taeyeon inside the room? I didn‟t want to think about that. I continued to the kitchen. I saw that there was someone standing at the balcony. It looked like it was Taeyeon. I decided to apologise to her. I went over and joined her on the balcony. “It‟s quite a beautiful sight isn‟t it.” Those were the first words she said. “Yes it is. I‟m sorry about just now. I didn‟t mean to burst out at you.” “Don‟t be silly. It‟s ok. I didn‟t take it to heart. Anyway I wasn‟t going to tell you not to tell Yoona. I just wanted to apologise for last night.” Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She was the silly one. Why was she so forgiving. She wasn‟t even mad at me for my outburst. I felt bad that she just wanted to apologise. There was nothing to apologise about. I enjoyed the warmth from her hug. “Oh. It‟s ok. There‟s nothing much to apologise about. I slept quite well.” I thought of the night before. I felt shy to admit that I actually slept well in her arms. Suddenly someone started shouting from inside the flat. “I LOVE IM YOONA SHE‟S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GIRL EVER!” I turned to see that it was Yuri. I was appalled. What was Taeyeon going to do now? Didn‟t Yuri know that the two of them were an item. Yoona suddenly appeared from the corridor. She cupped Yuri‟s mouth with her hands. Yoona was smiling. Yuri hugged her. It sounded like she said to Yoona. “Don‟t be mad anymore alright? I love you.” Yoona nodded. Taeyeon poked her head through the balcony door and started saying to the both of them. “Yaaaaaa we know you love Yoona you didn‟t have to shout so loudly. Now the whole world knows you belong to Yoona. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Awww now I‟m heartbroken. You‟re taking my Yoona away.” She sounded like she was joking? What‟s going on. I was seriously confused. “YAaa! Quit teasing.” Yuri shouted back at Taeyeon. “Well well. Why do you need Yoona when you are in love with…” Taeyeon reacted to Yuri's words by slamming the sliding door shut. What was up with Taeyeon‟s reaction? Both Yuri and Yoona disappeared into the walkway hand in hand. “What‟s going on?” I asked amused at the situation. Did I misunderstand the entire situation all along? “Well the both of them are an item. Yoona was jealous this morning. And I think Yuri just managed to pacify her.” “Ohhh..” I finally understood why Yuri wasn‟t allowed the sandwiches. “Yeah Yoona spent the night over at Yuri‟s and things must have happened.” The entire picture was clear now. It was crystal clear. I knew what I had to do. “So you and Yuri like to sleep over and take advantage of girls huh?” I said staring Taeyeon in the eye. Her eyes were so beautiful.

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She blushed instantly. It proved my speculation right. “Umm I didn‟t mean it. I err..” I could not help my laugh at her reaction. “I was just kidding. Relax.” I said trying to make her feel better. I decided to ask her the next question to find out more about her feelings. “So who‟s the one that you are so in love with?” “Oh err there‟s no one. She‟s just kidding around.” She was feeling very uneasy. I knew why. She could not tell me who that person was. “Ok then. Since you don‟t treat me as a friend I should leave.” I teased. She grabbed my hands immediately. I was overjoyed. That particular action totally confirmed everything. She apologised and released my hands. “I just wanted to let you know that you‟re my friend.” I laughed again. She just came up with the dorkiest reasons and yet they sounded so sincere. I told her that I was joking and I asked her out for a movie. I already had a movie in mind. I saw on TV last night that there was a horror movie screening now. I hated horror movies. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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They were too scary but it created the perfect opportunity for me. *** Taeyeon was standing at the bottom of the stairs. She had on a black jacket. She had her hands in her pockets. She looked so cool standing there like that. She had this odd charm. She always looked so confident. *** We arrived at the cinema. I have had everything all planned. I knew exactly what I wanted. I asked for the last row of seats. I knew they were couple seats. I knew Taeyeon would let me decide. We got a drink and went in. We found our seats and sat down. Taeyeon left a slight gap in between us. I knew she was trying to be careful around me. Taeyeon had her arms crossed. The movie started playing. Eerie music filled the cinema. I was dying of fear. It was too scary. I saw that she placed her hands on her thighs. I knew what it meant. It meant grab my hands if you are afraid.

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Just then *BAM* a ghost made a shocking appearance. I grabbed her arms and placed my hands in her palm. I wanted to hold on and not let go but this was not what I was here for. I was here for more. I released her hands very slowly. The show continued. Suddenly there was this extremely scary and shocking scene. I almost jumped out of my skin. I threw myself against Taeyeon. I hid my face in her shoulder. It was great to feel her close to me again. I didn‟t move away. I just held on to her. I wanted her to hug me. She did. I placed my arms around her too. It was the best movie ever. Not that I concentrated much. My focus was on Taeyeon. I could hear her heartbeat. It was steady. I wonder if her heart was beating for me just like how mine was beating for her. I wanted her even more now.

Chapter 20

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Jessica’s Perspective [Timeline Saturday – The day that Donghae left] I got into the car with Taeyeon and Donghae. I was glad that I did not have to sit beside him. It was merely a week spent with him and I felt asphyxiated. It was a stifling relationship. All I wanted was to send him off quickly so I could get back to Taeyeon‟s side. It was tough to hide my feelings for Taeyeon. It was really no easy feat to be in an official relationship with someone and yet long for someone else all the time. I‟m sure most people will judge if they knew the truth. We have too many self-proclaimed judges in this world. We were finally at the bus terminal. Taeyeon parked the car. We got off the car. Taeyeon helped Donghae with his duffel bag. Donghae wanted to hold my hands as we walked him from the car park to the bus. I had no choice but to let him take my hands. I really couldn‟t afford to be too obvious about my true feelings. The implications could be disastrous. I did not want to risk what I had now. The short distance we walked felt like a mile. I guess that‟s just how it is when you do something you do not enjoy. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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He was going to board the bus soon. He faced Taeyeon and asked for her to take care of me on his behalf. He did not have to ask. She would have even without him asking. She already was. Donghae hugged me tightly. “See you around Donghae. Have a safe trip.” Taeyeon said before she turned and walked away. I knew she did not like what was being displayed in front of her eyes. I knew that she was suffering the past week. It must have been extremely painful for her. It was torture for me, what more her. Donghae released me from the hug. He held my waist. I knew that he wanted a long kiss. I knew him all too well. I knew that Taeyeon would witness it too. He kissed my lips. That was more than enough. I did not want him intruding with his tongue. I have had enough of his forced intrusions for the past week. I only allowed it because I had to. I placed my hands on his shoulders and stopped him from furthering his lewd behaviour. I knew it agitated him. He was not satisfied. I believe he felt the barrier between us. He just had no idea what was going on. We were just not as intimate as he wanted us to be. “Donghae ah. Take care of yourself. Have a safe trip back. Tell my parents that I‟m doing well. Tell Krystal that I love her too. You should get going.”

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I kissed him on the cheeks. I was just going through the motion. I released myself from his grip and quickly walked away. I walked towards Taeyeon. She was all I was thinking of the past week. Everytime Donghae held me I thought of Taeyeon‟s hug. When he kissed me I thought of Taeyeon‟s lips. Taeyeon was standing there waiting for me patiently. She was a very understanding person. If I were her I would never have been able to act like her. She talked to Donghae, she joked with him, she acted like she was fine when she was in pain, she allowed him to play with her precious game console. She was a cordial person. I could never do what she did for me. Never. Maybe that‟s why I‟m so attracted. Taeyeon got into the car first. I turned to wave at Donghae one last time. I wanted to make sure that he was already on the bus and ready to leave. The bus drove off. He was seated moodily in the last row. I on the other hand felt relieved. All the emotions that I felt and had for Taeyeon were locked away in my heart for the past week. I could tell no one. I was like a pressure cooker. The lid was on tight. The fire was on high. Whatever was inside the pressure cooker was dying to find release. The lid has been trembling all this while. The pot was going to burst open any moment. This was it. I got into the car. Taeyeon was about to wear her Author : Yongel [email protected]

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safety belt. It was finally time. I unleashed everything I kept inside of me for the past week. All my passion and affection for Taeyeon flowed like hot lava from an erupting volcano. I reached for her neck and I pulled her towards me. I knew that the sudden motion surprised her. I couldn‟t care less. I was desperate. I pressed my lips against hers. It felt good. Her lips were so soft and tender. My tongue separated her lips. Her lips tasted good. I could not stop. I could not stay in my seat. She attracted me like a magnet. I kissed her with infinite ardour. I was kept away from her for far too long. Both of my hands were gently clasping her cheeks. Her head was tilted slightly upwards. She was caressing my back. Our tongues engaged in a dance of their own. They were perfectly in sync. I felt light headed. It was a wonderful feeling. Just then came a knock on the window. Both of us looked up still locked in a kiss. It was a middle aged man. He was making huge exaggerated gestures and he said it loud enough for us to hear from inside the car.

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“Take it home ladies. This is a parking lot not a mobile hotel.” He was waiting for our lot. He was looking at us with disgust in his eyes. The people around were also looking. I got off Taeyeon quickly and returned to the driver‟s seat. She straightened out her hair. Both of us were embarrassed. I started the engine and drove off. The both of us were silent. I felt bothered. I did not like how the people were looking at us. It felt like they were watching a freak show. I did not feel good. I continued driving. Taeyeon stretched her palms out towards the center of the car. I took her hand and kept the other hand on the wheel. She closed her hands tenderly around mine. Her hand was smooth to the touch. The both of us were still silent. We did not exchange words. Our actions said it all. She always had her way of comforting me. The light turned red at a traffic junction. I stopped the car.

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She very lovingly brought my hands up to her lips. She kissed my hands very gently. It sent a wave of pleasure through my body. All this time she did not look at me. She was just looking ahead, her usual confident self. “Jessica. I love you.” Her words were to the point and heartfelt. Chapter 21 [Timeline Monday – Continued from Chapter 16, the day they went for the movie] It was a great movie. In every sense it was fantastic. The credits started rolling. Jessica and I were still locked in the same position. I did not know how to react now. I wanted to just hold her forever. It was an impossible dream. I knew what I had to do. I reluctantly took my arms away and sat up straight. She released me. It was an awkward moment for me. I was too conscious of the situation. I was rarely like that. I used to be very spontaneous. I still am. It is just that with Jessica, I tend to worry a lot more.

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I guess if you are around someone important to you, you tend to tread more carefully. The credits ended. The couples around us started leaving. Almost all of them were holding hands or locked in an embrace. We were the only ones who were friends? The atmosphere was just plain weird. It was not that I did not want Jessica for my own. I truly did want her. It was more like I was with the right girl at the right place and everything felt so right but it was so wrong to feel so right? The cuddle we shared made me yearn for Jessica even more. I knew that it was not possible for her to have any feelings for me but the hugging sure misled me into thinking that I had a chance. I reminded myself once again that Jessica was not single. She has a boyfriend. I had to treat her like a normal friend. I moved away from her. I stood up. “Let‟s go.” I waited for her to stand up. She stood up and walked off. I followed after. We stepped out of the theatre. The light was blinding. I squinted. I could not see well. I was just walking blindly. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I bumped into what I assume must have been Jessica since she was in front of me. She happened be in the midst of turning while I bumped into her. The tip of our noses practically met. In that split second I had to throw myself backwards to prevent our lips from touching. I flung myself backwards. I landed on my bottom. I had to do anything to prevent this friendship from turning sour. Jessica was looking down at me. I couldn‟t tell what the expression she had was exactly. It looked like part amusement and part incredulity. She must find it amazing that I could fall like that. I stood up feeling slightly embarrassed. I could feel my ears turn red. She held my arms. “Are you ok?” She asked me while looking me in the eye. Her intense stare was not helping matters. “I‟m fine.” I said dusting the bottom of my jeans. She started dusting my jeans for me too. I felt uneasy. I had this urge to tell her straight in the face to always Author : Yongel [email protected]

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remember that I fancied girls. She had to watch herself when she was around me. She has to know that I have this monster in me. Once unleashed there was no caging it. The worst possible thing is that she was the perfect key to its release. She had to be warned. I just did not know how to convey the message to her. I thought hard. “Are you sure you‟re ok? You seem like you‟re deep in thought." She said with both hands on my arm. “Oh I‟m just..you know..hungry. I‟m thinking what to eat. Is there anything you crave for?” I asked her with the intent of diverting her attention to food. I could not afford for her to start asking me questions I could not answer. It was just like this morning where she asked me who I was in love with. I knew the answer. It came to me instantaneously. I just couldn‟t say. It was true that I was hungry. I looked at the watch sitting around my wrist. It was already 4pm. The last thing we had to eat was our late breakfast. I knew she was hungry too. “I want some bulgogi.” She hooked my arms and dragged me along. We ended up at her favourite restaurant. The scent of the barbecued meat was wafting through the air. It made my mouth water. We were led to a booth in the corner of the restaurant. The Author : Yongel [email protected]

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both of us started flipping through the menu. I was engrossed when I heard a familiar female voice call my name. “Taeyeon?” I looked up to see a classmate from high school. “Oh hey! It‟s been a long time. How have you been?” I said as I stood up and gave her a hug. “I‟m good but nothing beats seeing you again!” She was still excited at the sight of me. She used to have a major crush on me in high school. “Stop being silly.” I said laughing it off. She turned to Jessica and back to me again. “So who‟s this? The charmer Taeyeon at work again? She must be one of your innocent victims.” My high school classmate teased. “Quit joking. She‟s just a friend from school.” I said feeling all conscious again. “Aren‟t they all?” My high school classmate said slyly. I couldn‟t refute that statement. It was a fact. But Jessica was different. “Whatever. Anyway I‟m starving so get to work and take my order or else I‟ll make sure you get fired.” I joked. “Anything for you my dear. I don‟t mind getting fired but I won‟t want you to starve. So what are the both of you interested to have today?” She asked Jessica and I. Jessica started pointing out the items in the menu. She didn‟t talk. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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We were done with our order. “You better not just disappear after your meal. You better leave me your number so we can you know catch up.” She said winking. It was obvious that she was still interested in me. “I won‟t. Just go already I‟m starving!” I nudged her gently. “Yes my love. Catch you later.” She said as she walked off to process our order. I laughed at her reaction. She was hopeless. She hasn‟t changed much since high school. I turned to Jessica. She was quiet. “Anyway sorry about that. I hope she didn‟t offend you when she said you were one of my new victims.” I decided to apologise just in case Jessica was offended. Jessica just shook her head. Once again Jessica was behaving oddly. I didn‟t understand why. Perhaps she was just too hungry. We waited for about ten minutes and the food was finally served. We started barbecuing the meat. I ate heartily. Jessica was eating silently. Just then my friend walked over. “Just in case you run off here‟s my number.” She said stuffing a Author : Yongel [email protected]

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piece of paper into the pocket of my jacket. In that same moment. Jessica took a piece of tissue and reached across the table to wipe the corner of my mouth. “Taeyeon ah your mouth is all oily.” I was shocked at her action. “Waitress!” Another customer shouted for my friend. My friend walked away. I swear if I didn‟t know that Jessica was attached I would have thought that she was interested in me. I took the tissue from Jessica and wiped my own mouth. We continued eating. My friend was quite busy for the rest of the time we were eating as more people poured into the restaurant. Jessica and I were finally done with dinner. We stood up and went over to the cashier. I paid. “It‟s so smoky here let‟s hurry and go.” Jessica hooked my arms and dragged me out of the restaurant before I could say bye to my friend. I would have thought her jealous if I didn‟t know better.

Chapter 22 It was already dark out. The skies were a deep blue.

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It has felt like a date with Jessica so far. I wish the day would not end so quickly. Naturally everything comes to an end, what more good things? “Jessica let us head back.” I saw that she seemed quite reluctant to return. “Umm. Can we hang out a little bit more? I haven‟t had much time out since I came here. Do you know Cheongyecheon? Can you bring me there? I haven‟t had the chance to visit the place since I came to Seoul.” Was she nuts? She was asking me to bring her to one of the romantic spots in town. I was hesitant. I was afraid that spending time together there would just increase my longing for her. “You really want to go now? Don‟t you have classes tomorrow? Let‟s not return back too late.” I said trying to sway her away from her decision. “Well my class is only from 3pm to 5pm tomorrow. It‟s fine. You don‟t have early classes do you?” Jessica was looking at me with raised eyebrows. My class was from 2pm to 6pm. I couldn‟t lie to her. It would make it too obvious. “No I don‟t have early class. Well ok I‟ll bring you then. It‟s not far from here actually. Do you mind walking there?” “No I don‟t mind. Let‟s go.” Jessica still had my arms hooked. I placed both hands in my Jacket pocket as we walked. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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This felt so surreal. Jessica was too comfortable around me. I was already hanging at the edge of the cliff. I was struggling to hold on to my sensibility. My fingers brushed against a foreign object in my pocket. I took it out with my right hand. I realised what it was. It was the paper with the phone number. Jessica‟s arms were hooked around my right arm. She glanced at what I was doing since there was so much movement. I used that opportunity to pull my arms away. It was a difficult choice. Trust me. I took out my mobile phone and started punching in the numbers reflected on the paper. Jessica was silent. She was just walking beside me. I decided to send a text message to apologise for my hurried departure. „Hey it‟s Taeyeon here. I‟m sorry I left without saying bye. Nice seeing you again. Keep in touch!‟ I pushed on the send button and kept the phone in my Jacket pocket. I crossed my arms. I wanted to prevent Jessica from hooking on to my arms again. It may just be a harmless friendly arm link to her but for me it felt different. After what happened last night I doubt I should allow such mistakes to occur again. “So who‟s that girl? She seems really hot about you.” I turned to Jessica but she was looking away as she asked me the Author : Yongel [email protected]

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question. “Oh she‟s from my high school. We used to have something going on. Who knows now that we meet again we may continue where we left off.” I said casually. I did and said everything I could to steer Jessica away from the idea that I could possibly be attracted to her. Honestly I don‟t think I wanted any other girl asides from Jessica at this moment. “You sure are a great big flirt huh? Charming any girl you can that comes along.” It seems like my plan was working. I‟m not saying that I wasn‟t a flirt before. I have turned over a new leaf. Anyway it didn‟t matter what she thought of me as long as I could hide my true feelings from her. Anything was better than losing her friendship. At least as friends we could spend time together. “I can‟t help it. I can‟t turn off my charms. Anyway it‟s only one girl so far so how am I a great big flirt?” “Well you sure turned on your charms on the girl who watched you climb up the tree in valour.” How did she even know about that? I haven‟t even met her yet. It was odd. The only two people present were Yuri and the girl whom I helped. I decided not to probe. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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“Well I was just helping. It‟s just me. I‟m helpful. I helped you with your assignment too didn‟t I?” I said smiling. “Yeah maybe you were trying to charm me too.” Jessica said jokingly. “Ha! No way! I was just being helpful. I would help anyone that asks me for help.” I said bluntly not allowing her to feel special. I wish Jessica would fall for my charms. It was a ridiculous thought, again. I was contradicting myself. It was confusing for me. It was a battle between Taeyeon who wants Jessica and Taeyeon who knows that she should not make a move on Jessica. I hope my actions and my words don‟t appear too contradicting. “Fine Miss helpful. So will you help me here? I‟m feeling cold.” I did not expect that. I could either hug her or give up my Jacket. I would have hugged her if she were single. I slid off my Jacket and wrapped it around her. “See I‟m helpful ain‟t I?” I said with a cheeky grin. She rolled her eyes. Of course she was smiling. It was nice to see her smile.

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We finally arrived at Cheongyecheon. The wind was getting to me. I felt cold without my Jacket but I did not want it back. “Wow it‟s so beautiful here!” Jessica exclaimed. The stream ran down the middle with concrete side banks. Dim lights gently lit the stream. It was a great place to bring girls to. I should not be here with Jessica. “Come on let‟s go down and take a sit by the stream.” Jessica started walking down without me. I had to follow. I dreaded it. I had to put self control into play again. I hate how it got more difficult after I hugged her last night and at the movies. I have indulged twice already. It was time to stop. Jessica sat down on a step by the stream. The sound of flowing water was really soothing. It was really relaxing. I sat down beside Jessica. I rubbed my hands together trying to generate some heat. “Are you cold? Do you want your Jacket back?” Jessica asked me. “Oh no I‟m fine.” I lied. “Are you sure?” She asked as she touched my hands. Her hands were warm to the touch.

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It felt good. “Your hands are really cold. Here have it back.” Jessica returned me my jacket. I put it back on. It smelt like Jessica. Jessica took my hands again. “Here it‟s my turn to do you a favour.” She cupped both her hands over mine. I didn‟t know how to react. My hands were cold. It felt good to have her warm hands on mine. I succumbed once again. I let her hold my hands. She moved closer to me. It felt kind of sweet sitting so close together. There was this nagging feeling inside of me. I wanted to make a move on Jessica. Everything felt perfect. I knew that it was possible to cuddle with her if I wanted to. I could just use the cold weather as an excuse. That thought kept running through my head. The different ways to execute it played over and over in my head. Of course I kept telling myself No I should not act on it. For once I did not know what to say to Jessica. I just watched the high rise buildings around us. “Taeyeon ah.” Jessica called my name so very gently. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I‟ve never heard someone call my name so sweetly before. I faced her. She was looking right into my eyes. I got lost in the moment. It was like she was looking right into the depths of my soul. It felt like she could see every bit of love and romantic feelings that I have for her. I felt an amorous connection with her then and there. The only thing that filled my head was should I kiss her? The moment was perfect for a kiss. All I had to do was move over and plant a kiss on her lips. I hesitated for a bit. I really really wanted to kiss her. I was on the verge of acting on impulse. My phone beeped. Thank god. It called me back to reality. I broke the gaze. I felt overwhelmed with emotions. I pulled my hands away from hers. I reached into my pocket for my phone. I looked at the screen. It was my friend from earlier. She returned my message. „It‟s ok. Have fun with your date. I‟m pretty sure she fancies Author : Yongel [email protected]

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you. Enjoy your night and keep in touch!‟ Jessica fancy me? Hmmm.. That thought made me smile. Perhaps she was mistaken. But Jessica was indeed behaving oddly. What if she was correct? What if Jessica really did fancy me. What would I do then? I kept my phone away. “So is that your friend from just now? Are you in love with her or something. You‟re smiling so sweetly at her message.” I heard a hint of jealousy in Jessica‟s statement. I was starting to believe that there was some truth in that message. Maybe Jessica did fancy me. I couldn‟t be sure. “Yes. She just said something to make me smile.” I said as I stretched my arms and placed it on the concrete steps behind us. “So why did you call me? Did you want to say something?” I turned to Jessica and asked. “Oh no it‟s nothing. I wanted to ask if you wanted to head back.” Jessica was behaving all weird again. I started to see the pattern. I agreed to return. We took a bus all the way back to campus. Throughout the entire journey back I paid more attention to how Jessica was reacting around me. Previously, I was too obsessed with my own thoughts. I failed to read the signs correctly.

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Everything became more evident. Why was I so slow to notice? I walked Jessica back to her flat. We walked up the stairs together. She unlocked the door and pushed it open. “Ok Good night. I hope you enjoyed your day with me. I‟ll see you soon.” I said standing outside the door and waving to her. She turned to look at me. “You‟re not coming in?” That sentence gave her away. I hid a grin. “Oh no. I‟m heading back. Good night.” I said intentionally. I observed her. She seemed slightly disappointed. I turned my back and left. I was smiling.

Chapter 23 Jessica’s Perspective [Timeline Parallel to Chapter 21 and 22] The movie ended. I was still holding on to Taeyeon. I didn‟t want to let go. It felt so good. I hope that this was a strong enough hint of my feelings for her. She suddenly sat upright making it awkward for me to continue holding on to her.

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I was quite confident that she was interested in me but it became less and less apparent after a while. It shook my confidence bit by bit. I swear she‟s a bit of a wooden block sometimes. It‟s either that or she‟s too cautious. She moved further away from me. We got up and left the Cinema. I was walking in front. When we stepped out into the daylight it was bright. Although it was getting dark soon the sudden difference in lighting made it hard to see. I turned away from the light. I was too quick to turn. I bumped into someone. I assume it must be Taeyeon since she was following behind me. The tip of my nose pressed against what felt like the tip of her nose. I sure wish it was Taeyeon. My eyes started getting accustomed to the lighting. I saw that it was indeed Taeyeon. It all happened so quickly but I knew that if I did not move away and Taeyeon did not stop herself the law of physics would allow us our first kiss. I stood waiting. Who was to know that my cute little dorky friend would throw herself backwards and onto the ground? I was amazed at her quick reaction. I wanted a taste of her lips. She was sitting on the ground. It was quite a comical sight.

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She stood up quickly. I didn‟t even have the chance to help her up. She patted her jeans and I helped her. We exchanged a few words and I expressed my concern for her. Soon after, she was standing there deep in thought. I noticed that she was always thinking. Her brain felt like an overly complex system that was wired differently. I was curious. I wanted to know what was going on in her head. She kept her thoughts private. We ended up going for a meal instead. Everything was great so far. I most definitely enjoyed the movie. We were sitting in the corner booth at the restaurant. I was craving for bulgogi so we ended up there. We were going through the menu when someone called Taeyeon. I looked up and saw that it was this girl. She was a waitress there. She was attractive. Taeyeon stood up and gave her a hug. The both of them seemed excited to see each other. I felt slightly uneasy. “So who‟s this? The charmer Taeyeon at work again? She must be one of your innocent victims.” Taeyeon‟s friend said while she checked me out. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I felt uncomfortable enough already. Her words made me feel worse. I was indeed a victim to Taeyeon‟s charms. She made Taeyeon sound like such a player. “Quit joking. She‟s just a friend from school.” Taeyeon replied to her. I felt kind of upset when Taeyeon said that. It felt like she was trying to prove that she was still available. I hated the way they exchanged their words. The friend was practically flirting with Taeyeon. I should have chosen somewhere else to eat. How unlucky! I ordered without speaking. “You better not just disappear after your meal. You better leave me your number so we can you know catch up.” She said that to Taeyeon before she left. She was a threat. She obviously had a history with Taeyeon. I was moody. I was not able to show my jealousy or keep Taeyeon away from doing anything she wanted. She was not mine officially. The food arrived and we ate. I was deep in thought the entire meal. Taeyeon‟s friend returned to our table. She stuffed a piece of paper with what I suppose to be her phone number into Taeyeon‟s pocket.

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I wanted to tear up that piece of paper. I reached for a piece of tissue and wiped Taeyeon‟s mouth. I wanted to show her that Taeyeon was mine. She had better stay away. She got called away by another customer. After we were done with dinner I grabbed Taeyeon and hurried away. I didn‟t want her talking to her friend again. It was an unbearable sight. I asked Taeyeon to bring me to Cheongyecheon. I heard it was pretty romantic at night. I had my arms linked with hers since we left the restaurant. She was suddenly moving her arms a great deal. It seemed like she was reaching for something in her pocket. She took out a white slip of paper. It had some slight oil stains on it. It looked extremely disgusting. I had this strong urge to crush the paper and toss it into a bin and set it on fire. Of course a thought is a thought. Not all thoughts can be placed into action. She pulled her hands away from mine. She started fiddling with her phone and that disgusting piece of paper. It seems like she was saving the number and sending a message. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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It irked me that Taeyeon was so enthusiastic about it. We barely left the place and she‟s already sending her a text message. She crossed her arms after returning her phone to her pocket. Was it intentional? She didn‟t want to be close to me? I was seriously getting less confident by the minute. Did she like me or did she not? I decided to ask her about her friend. I wanted to know what I was up against. She told me that they had a history and she may even intend to continue with part two of their stupid history. “You sure are a great big flirt huh? Charming any girl you can that comes along.” I said defiantly. “I can‟t help it. I can‟t turn off my charms. Anyway it‟s only one girl so far so how am I a great big flirt?” “Well you sure turned on your charms on the girl who watched you climb up the tree in valour.” I said trying to give her a big hint that I was the girl she charmed. “Well I was just helping. It‟s just me. I‟m helpful. I helped you with your assignment too didn‟t I?” She said smiling adorably “Yeah maybe you were trying to charm me too.” I joked. I wanted to see how she would react. “Ha! No way! I was just being helpful. I would help anyone that asks me for help.” Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I hated this. She was too unpredictable. I have absolutely no idea what went on in her head. I thought I knew. Now I‟m just confused. I gave her another opportunity. I asked the supposedly helpful Taeyeon to help me because I was feeling cold. I prayed hard that she would place her arms around me. She took off her Jacket and placed it around me instead. “See I‟m helpful ain‟t I?” She grinned cheekily. She was really adorable. I couldn‟t help but smile. We finally arrived at Cheongyecheon. It was really beautiful. It was way more romantic than I pictured it to be. It was a weeknight so there were lesser people around. We settled on some stone steps by the water. I realised that Taeyeon‟s jacket was still on me. She was rubbing her hands together. I knew that she was cold. I asked her but she denied it. She was sweet. She must not want her Jacket back because she didn‟t want me to be cold. She must like me. How else can I explain her actions? Or was she just a very helpful and caring person who treated everyone the same way. My brain was bursting with possibilities. I touched her hands. They were cold. I returned her the jacket. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She put it on. I held her hands again. We were both silent. She was looking around. This time it was my turn to think. Should I let her know of my feelings for her? How will she think of me if she knows? Where do we take things from there? Everyone knows that I have a boyfriend. I should not even be feeling this way for her. I wanted her so badly. What if I confess and she rejects me? What if she has many other girls in her life? I could feel her pulse. It reminded me that life is short. I decided to confess. “Taeyeon ah.” I called out to her tenderly. She turned. We were staring into each other‟s eyes. It was a deep stare. It felt like she was on the verge of kissing me. I too was prepared. She was taking too long. I should make the first move. My eyes moved down to her lips. If there wasn‟t any better timing, her phone beeped. She pulled away immediately.

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The beep totally spoiled everything. We could have kissed. She smiled after reading the message. It must be the girl from earlier. I changed my mind instantly. I was not going to confess anymore. I couldn‟t risk confessing to someone who smiles at another girl‟s message. I had too much on the line. We ended up returning to our hostel shortly after. The mood was ruined already. The journey back was quiet. We arrived at my flat. She walked me up the stairs. She said good night to me at the door. I was slightly surprised that she wasn‟t going to come in. “You‟re not coming in?” I asked. She would usually hang out at my flat. She said that she was going to return to her own flat. I was disappointed that she was not coming in. She usually did. She was different today. Was it because of the girl? It made me emotional. She turned her back on me and left.

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I just watched her back as she walked down the stairs. She was moving further and further away from me. There was nothing I could do about it. I shut the door. Chapter 24 I was walking back to my flat from Jessica‟s place. It was a quiet night. The skies were surprisingly clear today. Stars were twinkling in the night sky. The lights on campus were quite sparsely situated along the pathways. It was bright enough for us to see where we were going and yet dim enough for us to be able to enjoy the starry night. Along the way back I organised my thoughts and looked back on the entire day‟s event. I recalled all her reactions. I laughed at how silly I was to have misread the signs. My strong feelings clouded my judgement. The fact that she has a boyfriend of Six years also played a part in misleading me. I analysed the situation and it does indeed seem very possible that she does feel something for me. I rarely fail to catch on to things. This was an exception. I have to thank my friend for making me see. Now that things are such the whole game has changed. I was brimming with confidence.

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This is not to say that I will intentionally break the both of them up. I won‟t. It will just change my personal behaviour around Jessica. Everything else would be her decision, not mine. All her choices will decide how our relationship pans out. I will respect every bit of it. Regardless, It was a happy day. I arrived at my flat. It was pitch dark. All the balcony doors were closed and all the windows were shut. Yuri must not be home. It wasn‟t hard to guess where she was. I walked up the stairs and unlocked the main door. I stepped in. The air was stale. This just proves that the both of us had abandoned our flat for the longest time. I pushed open a few windows. It felt better now. I returned to my room and tossed my keys on the study table. I pulled open my balcony doors. It was a beautiful night. I was filled with joy. Who wouldn‟t be? I sat back down on the couch and switched on the TV. I surfed channels for a while. There was nothing interesting on TV. I switched on my game console and started playing my favorite game. I had already completed the game with all the Author : Yongel [email protected]

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characters. I just enjoy pushing the limits and breaking my high score. I was done playing. I switched off the TV. It was time to shower. I took my clothes and my towel. *Ding-Dong* The doorbell? Who can it be. Did Yuri forget her keys? I walked along the dark corridor. Only the lights in my room were switched on. I pulled open the door to see Jessica standing there. She wore a light brown Jacket and a pair of white shorts. “Hi Taeyeon.” She looked like she was thinking how to construct the following sentence. I invited her into my flat and out of the cold. “Hi. What‟s up?” I asked curious. I had completely no idea what was going on in her mind right now. “Well I was trying to sleep just now but I couldn‟t.” I waited for her to go on. “And umm..I‟m afraid because of the horror movie we catched earlier on. Can I sleep over at your place tonight?” She finally completed her sentence. “Sure. I‟m going to shower now so just make yourself at home.” I led her back to my room. I shut my room door and went into the shower. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I didn‟t expect her to make such a request. It was really my day. Amazing. *** Jessica’s Perspective [Timeline just after Chapter 23] Taeyeon just left. I was alone again. It feels she‟s a drug. I was slowly getting addicted to her. A moment without her gave me withdrawal symptoms. I was feeling lost. I did not know what to do. I returned to my room. I unlocked my bedroom door. I stepped into the room and shut the door. It was pitch dark. The curtains were drawn. I sat down behind the door. There were too many things on my mind. The one thing that was constantly there was Taeyeon. Even when I first started out with Donghae, I never thought of him this much. I have never had such intense feelings for someone before. I knew that I should not be allowing myself to fall for her like that. There was only one outcome at the end of it all. Hurt.

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It could be me hurting. It could be her hurting. It could be us. I almost gave in to my impulses just now. I almost confessed. Who could help it? She was irresistible. I really wanted a taste of her. I wanted to know how it was like to be in a relationship with someone else asides from Donghae. I was deprived of choice previously. Now I could make one. I sighed. Why did this have to be such a difficult situation? I took my towel and went to the shower. I bumped into Yoona and Yuri and the bathroom door. I smiled at them. They smiled shyly and hurried back to Yoona‟s room. I locked the bathroom door. I undressed and switched on the water. I made sure it was warm before I stood under the running water. Somehow there was this soothing effect when you stood under warm running water. It relaxed your muscles. I was still thinking of Taeyeon. I shampooed and soaped myself. I wonder what Taeyeon was doing at the current moment. It was slowly becoming an obsession. I knew that I would cave one day so why not make it happen now?

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I washed off all the soap and shampoo suds. Everyone deserves a fresh start somewhere. I just have too much excess baggage to lug around with me. It would be a tiring journey but at least I can say that I have tried. I dried myself and wrapped my towel around me. I came out of the shower stall. The mirrors were fogging up. I could not see my reflection clearly. It was blurry just like my future. I don‟t know what it may hold, but at least I know that there‟s a future somewhere whatever it may be; whoever it may be with. Chapter 25 I just finished showering. It felt good. I was all ready to return to my room. I wonder how the rest of tonight will be. I entered my room. Jessica was sitting on the couch. Her jacket was hanging on the left arm rest of my couch. She was watching TV. She had on a pink racerback top. She had a beautiful tan. Her shoulders were insanely gorgeous. I thought of the night before. Will things be the same again? Sharing moments like that in bed, I did not need anything more than that. Every moment we shared now was already enough to make me happy.

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I decided to blow dry my hair since we were going to go to bed soon. Jessica just continued watching TV. I was done drying my hair. I hung my towel on the towel rack behind my bedroom door. I shut the door. I was not as fearful about being alone in the room with Jessica anymore. I knew I was not the only one who had to exercise self control this time around. She had to as well. As long as I‟m not the initiator everything should be fine. I sat done beside her on the couch. I leaned back. “Your shampoo smells great.” She said turning to me. “Oh. Thanks.” I replied. She started running her fingers through my hair. “Your hair is really smooth too. Maybe I should start using the same shampoo.” She said seductively. She gently bit her lips as she said that. She was making me go weak in the knees. I was getting goosebumps. The best part was she was not even touching me. She was just touching my hair. She was what I call a professional when it comes to seduction. I knew that tonight would be different from last night. Whatever it was I had to hold it in. I could not allow myself to make the first move. She leaned over. She was very close to my neck. She took a deep breath. She exhaled slowly.

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“Yes your shampoo does smell good. I really should get it.” All this time she made it sound like some friendly conversation between two friends but it was indeed something else. Honestly if someone were to be watching us then, they would really think that it was an innocent conversation. The physical interaction was deliberate yet unobvious. She was calling out to me. Her lips were calling out to mine. My guess was that she wanted me to make the first move because she was not sure of how I felt. Of course I could not be sure. “Let‟s go to bed.” She said to me. She stood up. While she did that she very subtly pulled on my hands such that it was more of a gentle brushing of skin against skin before releasing my hands. My senses were overwhelmed. I felt slightly faint. She was that good. I was already at my limit. The animal in me was already violently banging on the steel cage of self control. The steel bars were being broken one by one. If she pushed me any further there would only be one outcome. She was going to be mine tonight. I wanted to prevent that from occurring. Once she unleashed that part of me. There was no stopping me. I switched off the TV. I set the remote control down. I walked over to the balcony. I shut the balcony doors and locked it. I drew the curtains.

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I kept the windows open. I drew the curtains at the window. I was buying time to calm myself down. Her attire was not helping. Her shorts were too short. She was revealing too much of her shoulders to me. Why couldn‟t she put on a t-shirt instead. She was sitting on my bed. Her legs dangling off the side. She had a very seductive pair of legs. It was lean and tone. I asked her to get up. I pulled aside the bed covers. I was glad I had a super single and not a single bed. Thankfully I had two pillows as well. I laid the pillows side by side. “Here pick your side.” I said to her. She chose the side nearer the door and away from the window. She snuggled comfortably in bed. I walked over to the door and switched off the main lights. I locked my door. Just in case. It was really dark. I stumbled slightly as I bumped into the bed frame. I placed my hands down for support. It landed on Jessica‟s thighs. I did not have to see to know. “I‟m sorry.” I said to her. “It‟s ok. Why don‟t you just crawl over me and get in bed instead of stumbling around in the darkness.” She suggested. I felt her hands tug on mine. Without my sense of sight I had to rely on my sense of touch. I tried feeling for the empty space beside her. I mistakenly touched her a few times. I crawled over her. Finally I was on the other side. Drawing all Author : Yongel [email protected]

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the curtains were a bad choice. I decided to pull the curtains apart slightly. I got out of bed and pulled the curtains 2 inches apart. Now there was light. Moonlight was better than no light at all. I turned. Jessica was facing me. She was sleeping on her left. I could see a longing expression on her face. I climbed into bed. I pulled the covers up to my chest. I could feel her warm breath on my neck. She moved closer to me. I felt a tingling sensation spreading down my neck. I could not take it anymore. I had to warn her. “Jessica ah.” I said a little short on breath. I can‟t believe it she was already affecting my breathing and we were not even doing anything yet. She moved her face closer to mine. “Yes Taeyeon? What‟s the matter?” I could feel her breath on my right cheek. “If you come any closer to me I can‟t guarantee what‟s going to happen to you tonight.” I said my voice trembling. It was not trembling because of fear. She did not heed my advice. She ran her fingers very gently across my lips. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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My whole body trembled. I could not hold it in any longer. I crouched over her. I pinned both her shoulders down. There was no escaping. My tummy was pressed against hers. I moved in for the kill. I was about to kiss her lips. She placed a finger to my lips. I was impatient. She was such a tease. “Wait Taeyeon. Before you continue I have to remind you that I have a boyfriend and I can‟t guarantee where our relationship will head. I may like you but that does not mean that we will have a happy ending.” I kissed her fingers tenderly. My cheeks flushed. “Yes. Ok I know. I'm not a kid.” I didn‟t care what happened. I just wanted to kiss her. She took her fingers away. I moved forward. Our lips met for the first time. It felt like I was floating. Her lips were soft and smooth. Neither of us was leading the kiss. It was quite obvious that the both of us were quite desperate for each other. The moments our lips met, our tongues met one hundredth of a millisecond later. My hands traced the lines along her waist. It was smooth to the touch.

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We were locked in a passionate kiss and embrace. She was an amazing kisser. She was the best I have had so far. It ignited my senses even more. The both of us were hard on breath but it was impossible to pull our lips apart for even a second. If people didn‟t know they would think of us as Siamese twins joined at the lips. We spent the entire night exploring each other. We went places no one else had ever been before. I claimed Jessica for my own. Chapter 26 It was morning. Sunlight streamed in through the gap in the curtains. I reached for my alarm clock. The time was 11.15pm. I barely had six hours of sleep. Jessica was still asleep. She had her arms around my waist. My right arm was placed under her neck and around her bare shoulders. It was unbelievable. I never thought that Jessica would be sleeping by my side in this manner. It did not matter that we had no status. At least our feelings

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were real. The night that we shared was real. I kissed her forehead gingerly. I held her tenderly. I did not want to wake her. I thought of the night before. It brought an instant smile to my face. I was the luckiest person on earth. I held her for what seemed like fifteen minutes before she stirred slightly. I looked down at her. She blinked. She smiled and reached for a kiss. “Good morning.” She mumbled with her lips pressed against mine. “Good morning.” I said caressing her cheeks. It was a sweet thing to wake up to. Both of us just cuddled. We were reluctant to get out of bed. We haven't had enough of each other yet. How could we possibly? We enjoyed the warmth of each other's body. My phone beeped. I reached for it without releasing Jessica from my embrace. It was Yoona. She asked if I wanted to lunch with herself and Yuri. "So my dear. Yoona is asking whether I want to lunch with her Author : Yongel [email protected]

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and Yuri. Do you want to?" She looked at me tenderly and shook her head. "I want to spend more time with you alone." I smiled at her reaction. It was sweet to know that she wanted to spend some personal time with me. She sat upright. I ran my fingers down the curves of her back as she bent over and picked up here top. She pulled on her top and then crawled atop me. "Stop being so cheeky." She said as she kissed me. I grabbed her waist firmly with both arms. "What are you going to do if I continue?" I said as I planted another kiss on her lips. "I'm going to do this." She bit my lips gently. She made me smile again. "Silly girl." I kissed her again. Both of us got out of bed. She wrapped my quilt around her waist. She starting looking around the room. "Are you searching for this?" I said dangling her white shorts. I picked it up from under the bed. She walked towards me with her hands outstretched. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I shook my head and placed her shorts behind my back. She frowned at me and pouted at the same time. I tapped at my lips with my left index finger. She leaned in for a kiss. She reached behind my back and took her shorts. I let go. I placed both hands on her waist. We engaged in a passionate kiss. I knew that none of us wanted to stop but I had to pull away. "We have all night. We should get lunch and prepare for class." She nodded. She gave me one last peck on the lips. She bit my lips again. "That's for being cheeky about my shorts." I could not help but smile. She pulled on her shorts while I searched for a spare toothbrush that I kept just in case there were visitors. I was always prepared. I handed it to her. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Come on let's go and wash up." "Wow seems like you're always ready for sleepovers." I gave her a sheepish smile and kissed her cheeks. "I'm now always only ready for you and nobody else." She returned me a kiss on my lips. We washed up quickly. It was already noon by the time we were done. I had class in two more hours and she had hers in three. "Do you want to eat out or should we prepare some food?" I asked her. "Well I'm fine either way. Just to let you know I'm not a great cook. The only thing I make well is pancakes." I laughed at her statement. "I know. I remember what you told Yuri. Anyway it doesn't matter. I can cook for the both of us." I held her hands as we walked to the kitchen. Just then I heard a key being inserted into the main door. I quickly released Jessica's hands and just in time too. Yuri and Yoona were walking in the door hand in hand. I realized that I forgot to reply Yoona's text about lunch. "Oh hey sweet couple!" I quickly diverted their attention. Yuri Author : Yongel [email protected]

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was looking at me with a cheeky 'What did you do again last night' look and Yoona was looking at me with a 'What do you think you are doing with Jessica she already had a boyfriend. Do you want to get hurt?' look. Yes I'm a genius I deciphered their intentions just by reading their expression. I have known them for quite a while so it wasn't that difficult. "I was just about to give the both of you a call. Jessica and I were intending to have lunch together. Wanted to give the both of you some romantic time alone. How sweet of us right?" I said to them slightly twisting the facts a little. "Well it's ok. Let's just all eat together. I don't want you complaining that we have abandoned you just because we got together." Yoona said as she unpacked some of the ingredients she brought over from her flat. I knew that she did not want me spending too much time alone with Jessica. If she only knew what we had already done. It was too late for any form of regret. "Great so what's the great chef Yoona going to prepare for lunch today?" I asked teasing. "Kimchi fried rice." Yuri replied. I laughed. It seems like Yoona's specialty is Kimchi fried rice and Jessica's was Pancakes. Well at least we had food. "Why are you laughing Kim Taeyeon? You better be glad that Author : Yongel [email protected]

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you have someone to cook for you!" Yoona said poking me in the rib cage. I returned a poke. She cornered me and tickled me. "Yaaa yaaa you have a girlfriend now stop getting all physical with me. Yuri might get jealous. RIGHT YURI!" I said in between laughs from being tickled. Yuri just laughed it off. She wouldn't get jealous over me. Yoona pulled me towards her and gave me a big bear hug. "Yuri wouldn't even get jealous if I did this. Right baby?" Yoona turned to look at Yuri. Yuri nodded back at her. The both of them were just such bullies. "Yaaaaaa quit fooling around and start cooking your Kimchi fried rice." I struggled to free myself. I could see from Jessica's face that she was not happy seeing me in another girls' embrace. She knew that Yuri and Yoona were together but still she got jealous. It was quite amusing to see her get so jealous. "Oh anyway Jessica. You wanted to borrow a book from me right. Come on follow me to my room. I'll get it for you." I said spontaneously. I could see that she was confused for a moment. "Ok." was all she said in return. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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We walked to my room. I shut the door. I hugged her. "Don't hug me. You can hug Yoona the great chef." She whispered as she struggled to release my grip on her. We couldn't be too loud for fear of being overheard. "Is somebody jealous of Yoona?" I teased. She pushed me and attempted to hit me. It was a light hit. I knew she couldn't bear to hit me too hard. She was just so cute when she was jealous. "You know I only have eyes for you." I said looking deeply into her eyes. She smiled. She was quite easy to coax. I grabbed a book from my book shelve. I handed it to her. "Here this is the book that you're supposed to borrow from me. Keep it well. Don't ever let anyone lay hands on this book." I specifically instructed her. "Ok. I won't. I'll treat this book like it's you." She hugged the book tightly to her chest as she said that. I kissed her on her lips before we headed out into the living room as friends.

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Chapter 27 We walked out to the dining area, the kiss still lingering. Yoona was just done frying the rice. It was a quick since she had already prepared all the ingredients. We sat down with Yuri and Yoona at the island. There were four chairs, two on each side of the counter. Yuri and Yoona were already dishing out the rice into bowls. We began eating. Jessica placed the book on the table. “So what book is that?” Yuri asked Jessica. “The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. It‟s a great book.” I answered in place of Jessica. I was sure she had no idea what the book title was. It would have given us away. Yuri smirked. I was sure she caught on. It did not matter as long as Yoona has not. Yuri and Yoona started feeding each other despite the fact that they had their own bowls. I was envious. They could display their affection for each other so openly. I saw that Jessica had envy in her eyes too. I secretly reached for her hands. We held hands discreetly under the table.

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She smiled. That was enough. At least we knew that we were there for each other. At least now we knew our true feelings. We continued with lunch. Lucky for Jessica and I Yoona and Yuri were too caught up with each other to notice that we were secretly holding hands. It was already 1.10pm by the time we were done with lunch. “Alright I have to prepare for class. Thanks for lunch Yoona.” I said getting off the high chair. “I‟ll help you to wash up the dishes.” Jessica said to Yoona and Yuri. The three of them started clearing up as I headed back to my room. I had a quick shower and grabbed my bag. I walked out to the living room to see that Jessica was still around. She was drying the bowls and keeping them away. “Ok thanks for lunch Yoona. I‟m going back now I have classes at 3. You coming along?” She asked Yoona. How timely. We could leave together. “Nope I‟ll hang out a bit more with Yuri.” Yoona replied. “Ok Bye then. See you back at the flat.” Jessica said and headed for the door. “I‟m going to class now. Bye.” I stepped out together with Jessica.

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I pulled the door shut and locked it. Jessica sneaked me a quick kiss while I locked the door. It has only been about a while since our last kiss but I missed her lips already. “Come on I‟ll walk you back to your flat before I head to class.” We started walking. We were standing close to each other but we were not touching. We arrived at her flat. I walked her up the stairs. She turned to me. “You‟ll come and look for me after class will you?” The way she said it sounded so cute. It made her sound needy of me. “I‟ll consider.” I joked. She pouted. I grinned. “Of course I will. Anyway I still don‟t have your mobile number. Care giving it to me?” I said taking my mobile out of my pocket. “I‟ll consider.” She teased. “Oh ok then I‟ll just contact other girls.” I said deliberately. I knew she would get jealous. Indeed she was. She hit me and snatched my phone from me. She punched in her number and returned me my phone. “That‟s my girl. I‟ll see you later.” I said still grinning. I could Author : Yongel [email protected]

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not stop smiling. I headed down the stairs. Jessica was standing there watching me. I could see that she was reluctant for me to leave. I was midway down when I turned and walked up again. I reached for her waist and pulled her towards me. I gave her a hug. “I‟ll miss you.” I said lovingly before releasing her and walking away for real. She was smiling. While I was walking to class I decided to send Jessica a text message. I took out my phone and punched in a few numbers and words. I pushed on the send button. I smiled a conceited smile. I was at class. I silenced my phone and got myself a seat. Jessica was probably showering now and preparing for class. I wonder how she would react to my message. *** Jessica’s Perspective Taeyeon had just left for class. I was beginning to miss her. It was weird that I felt so needy of her already. We only spent one night together but it felt like we have known Author : Yongel [email protected]

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each other for ten years. I was emotionally attached to her. This was the first time I‟ve felt so strongly. Just then my mobile beeped. Was it Taeyeon? I looked. It wasn‟t . It was Donghae. The message read. „Why haven‟t you called me yet?‟ I walked over to the flat phone and dialled. I spoke to him for a while. I lied that I have been busy with my assignment so I woke up late. I told him that I had to go for class soon and hung up. His message totally ruined the perfect day. It was irksome. I hated his demanding ways. His message reminded me of his existence. I realised the situation I was in. I was cheating on Donghae. Taeyeon and I had no status. I could never give her status. I thought of my family. I thought of Krystal. I could not afford to let my parents find out. They would be mad. All I could do now was to just enjoy every moment with Taeyeon until the end. I was not looking forward to the day things would end between us. But that was inevitable. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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My phone beeped again. I picked it up. The screen reflected an unidentified number. I opened the message. It showed a page number and a paragraph number and it ended with Taeyeon‟s name. I was puzzled. I saved Taeyeon‟s number. I knew that her name was there for me to identify that the message was from her, but the page and paragraph number? I looked down on my lap and I realised that „The notebook‟ was sitting in my lap. Was she asking me to read a particular page and paragraph? I flipped open the book to the specified page and searched for the paragraph. I ran my finger down the book and it stopped at a paragraph that said the following.

"No matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours." Those words came at the perfect moment. It touched my heart. Chapter 28 I was just done with class. I stepped out to see Yuri waiting for me. Her class just ended too. "Oh hey Yuri. Why aren't you running home to Yoona yet?" I asked cheekily.

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"Why? Are you running back to Jessica now?" she rebutted. I was deciding whether or not to tell Yuri about us. I decided against it. I did not want her to get caught between Yoona and I. Also, Jessica and I were unofficial and there was so much uncertainty. I didn't even know what we were. "So did she stay over last night?" Yuri continued. "Yes. She did. We caught a horror movie in the afternoon and she couldn't sleep at night. We didn't do anything." Yuri threw me a doubtful look. I held my composure. "Of course I do admit that we have gotten closer." I said omitting the details of our physical interactions. "Now now that's what I was waiting to hear." Yuri said slapping me on the back. "So what do you think will happen between the both of you?" Yuri asked curious. "Well I don't know. I'll just take it a step at a time." I said honestly. We left it at that. The both of us returned to our flat. "I'm going over to Yoona's to have dinner. You're coming aren't you?" Yuri asked me as we stepped into our flat.

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I thought of Jessica. I was supposed to spend time alone with her. "Oh no the both of you go ahead. I have some stuff to do." I said coming up with some stupid excuse. "Ok then. Want me to bring food back for you?" Yuri offered. "No that's fine." I kindly rejected the offer. Yuri set her stuff down and headed for Yoona's flat. I sent Jessica a text message. 'Good evening beautiful. I'm done with class. Come over to my flat?' I sat down on my couch waiting for a reply. It was already three minutes and the phone was still silent. I wonder whether Jessica saw the message. I was about to give her a call on her mobile phone when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to be met by a tight hug from Jessica. I stumbled backwards. She practically threw her whole body against me. "Oh hey easy girl. You miss me that much huh?" I said finding my balance. "Of course I did." She said planting a soft peck on my cheeks. "So what would you like for dinner?" I asked her. She was still Author : Yongel [email protected]

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holding on to me. "Let's have Jajangmyeon?" She suggested. She released me from the hug and held on to my hands. "Ok let's call for delivery. I'm feeling lazy." I said as I picked up the flat phone and dialed. I ordered a large Jajangmyeon for the both of us to share. We returned to my room while waiting for our food to arrive. Jessica pushed open the balcony doors and dragged me along. She has not let go of me since she stepped in the door. She seemed to be particularly needy of me. We only spent four hours apart. I wonder if something happened in that four hours. She pulled my hands around her waist. I tightened my arms around her pressing my chest against her back. My chin was resting on her left shoulder. "Is something bothering you?" I asked her tenderly. She played with my fingers. I kept silent. I gave her the time she needed. I did not want to force her to tell me. "I don't know where to begin." She said sounding slightly down. "It's ok. Take your time. Don't rush it. You can tell me whenever you want." I said as I pressed my lips softly on her left cheek.

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She turned so that her lips replaced the area her cheek was previously. Our lips touched gently. "Do you know that you're being too sweet to me?" She said as she slowly pulled apart and looked me in the eye. "I'm trying hard not to fall too deeply for you but you are making it an impossible task." She said still staring me deeply in the eye. "I know. I feel the same way too." Our lips met again after I completed my sentence. "I want to talk to you about us. I need to know that we are on the same page." She said looking away. I knew it was hard for her. For me it was a simple choice of being with the girl or not being with the girl. For her she had a lot more to take into consideration. "Sure let's talk. I'm ready when you are. Don't worry. I'm a strong person. I'll support you however I can." I said encouraging her to be honest with me. My guess was that she was worried that her words would hurt me. "Well we all know I have a boyfriend. To be honest I can't say that I'm in love with him anymore. I still care for him but it feels different. Frankly I have been suffocated for the past few years. I have been tolerating his ridiculous expectations and behavior because of the many years we have been together. I did not want to see our six year relationship go down the drain. I decided to study here so that I can spend time away from him. I thought that it would improve our relationship and that I'll miss him more. I did initially but things changed when I saw you."

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I nodded silently urging her to go on. I did not want to interrupt. "I first saw you when you helped the girl in the flat opposite of mine. You were just so charming. That was when I first felt a weird feeling in my heart. I never thought I would feel that way for a girl." I smiled at Jessica's words. I never expected that she would have noticed me even before I met her. "It's true that your charm grew on me. When you helped me out with my work you were totally focused and you're just so smart. You know you're the perfect person don't you? I started wanting to get to know you more and I started wondering how it would feel like to be with someone else other than my boyfriend. I've never been with anyone else. My curiosity just ballooned and so did my yearning for you. I thought that you were with Yoona and I was jealous. When I realized that Yoona and Yuri were a pair I decided to make a move on you. I thought hard about it. I did not want to end up hurting you." Jessica trailed off. "Don't worry. I know what I'm signing up for." I said assuring her. "My father is a very traditional man. He likes my current boyfriend. He expects us to tie the knot. He already treats Donghae like his son-in-law. Even if I initiate a break-up with Donghae, my dad will most definitely be on his side. The both of them are too alike in many sense. They control me too much. I have never been able to defy my father. You don't know how scary my father is when he gets mad. For every mistake that my sister and I make, my mother suffers for it. Sometimes it is extremely straining on me. I don't wish to see my mother suffer his wrath so I do my best to be the perfect daughter." Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I could sense her pain. I knew how tough it was for her. My parents have been supportive of me all along. I have never had to experience the kind of control Jessica talked about. I was lucky. "You understand that one day I'll have to leave you and get married do you?" The words finally came out of her mouth. The thought of her leaving my side did cause a slight pain in my heart. "I know that. I don't care. You read the quote from the book earlier didn't you?" I asked her. She nodded. I had to say it to her personally to show her how much I meant it. "No matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours." She held my right hand and brought it up to her chest. She pressed my hands down so that I could feel her heartbeat. "I wish you were a guy. If you were, everything would be perfect. Regardless I know for sure that my heart will always belong to you. Nobody else can ever take it away." "Don't worry. I understand. I'll accept whatever comes my way. Let's just treasure every single moment we have with each other. Time is precious for us. I just want you to be happy." Those were my heartfelt words. Chapter 29

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The doorbell rang. It must be our dinner. I took my wallet and went out with Jessica. We held hands as we walked to the living room. We were inseparable. Every moment was precious. I looked through the peephole just to be sure it was the delivery person. Indeed it was. I opened the door, paid for the noodles and brought it in. The Jajangmyeon smelt delicious. It made my mouth water. I swallowed. I was starving. We unpacked the noodles and dished it onto a plate. We set the plate on the island and sat beside each other. We each had our own chopsticks. We started eating. I was really hungry. "The noodles are so good don't you think?" I said looking at Jessica. She turned to face me and started giggling. "What's the matter?" I asked her puzzled. "Sauce." She said still laughing. I realized that I must have black sauce all over my lips. I must look silly.

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I was about to wipe my mouth with my hands when Jessica stopped me. "I don't allow you to wipe it off with your hands." She said firmly. "Yes my dear. I'll get a tissue then." I got off my chair. She held my hands and stopped me from moving away. I looked at her, my eyebrows raised. She leaned in towards me. "I'll clean it up for you." She whispered. I froze. She extended her tongue towards my lip. The tip of her tongue gently rested on my lips. It made its way around. We ended up breaking into a passionate kiss. I never enjoyed kissing someone this much. If I could I would spend every second kissing her. Halfway through the kiss my tummy rumbled. We broke into a laugh. "Your tummy is protesting huh? Let's finish up." She said as she picked up her chopsticks. "Yes but I'm hungrier for you." I said with a wide grin. "Silly. I'm not running away. You can have me after we finish dinner."

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She started feeding me. I ate happily. I felt fortunate. After we were done I just left the plate in the sink. We had better things to do then wash the dishes now. Both of us rinsed our mouths. I dragged her back to my room. I shut the door and attempted to kiss her. She stopped me with her finger. It seems like she enjoyed doing that. "Not yet. You haven't showered yet." She said teasingly. "Awww can't I shower later." I groaned. "No you can't. We have to shower now." My eyes sparkled. Did she just say we? "You have two shower stalls in your bathroom don't you?" She added on intentionally. "Yes there is. But Yuri uses one and I use one." I explained. "Awwww...Then I guess we'll just have to make do." Jessica said faking disappointment. I tossed her a fresh towel. I took my own towel and my clothes. We walked into the bathroom and I locked the main bathroom door.

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We spent an hour in the shower. When we were done, I came out and got dressed. She came out and wrapped herself in the towel. Just then there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Taeyeon ah how long are you going to take? Hurry up." It was Yuri. A second voice followed. "Yes Kim Taeyeon hurry. I need to use the bathroom too." It was Yoona. Jessica and I exchanged glances. We were stuck in the bathroom. "Yaaaaa just leave me alone. I'll get you when I'm done. If you're that urgent go back to your own flat and use the bathroom!" I said hoping that they'll return to Yoona's flat instead. "Whatever just hurrry." Yoona exclaimed. I heard a door shut. It sounded like Yuri's room door. I picked up the heap of clothes on the floor. I motioned for Jessica to hide behind the door first. I very very silently twisted the door knob of the bathroom door. I pulled it open just enough for me to check that it was safe for Jessica to sneak out. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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There didn't seem like anyone was around. I pulled the door open. I was about to get Jessica to come out when Yoona appeared in the doorway. She was holding a glass of water. "You're finally done." She said setting down her glass of water and walking quickly towards the toilet. My heart raced. I was panicking but I kept my cool. It never proved useful to lose your head in such situations. I held the door. I nudged Jessica with my hand. I pushed her further behind the door. Yoona walked straight into the bathroom. I moved to hide Jessica from view. She shut the door to the waste collection stall. That was a close shave. I held Jessica's hands and made a dash for my room. We shut the door behind us. Our hands were trembling from the adrenaline rush. It was quite the thrilling experience. I drew my curtains shut. My hands still trembling. Jessica came over and turned me to face her. She gave me a long sweet kiss. The long sweet kiss became a long passionate kiss. The long passionate kiss became a long affectionate night. Time flew past just like that. It was already 11pm. I went over to my wardrobe and got some clothes for Jessica. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She walked over wrapped in my quilt. I gently kissed her shoulders. I handed her a T-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. She dropped the quilt and pulled the clothing on. She looked really adorable dressed in my clothes. She picked up my quilt and returned to my bed. I pulled the curtain at the window open to allow some light in. I turned off the room light. Pure moonlight flooded into the room through the window. I slipped into bed beside Jessica. She nuzzled into my neck and placed her right arm across my chest and on my left shoulder. I had my right arm around her neck with my right hand gently resting on her head. I stroked her hair. We kept silent and enjoyed the cuddling. It was a blissful feeling to have her by my side. She was the only girl who made me feel this way. I wanted to commit to her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I kissed her gently on the forehead. I held my lips tenderly in position.

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She caressed my shoulders. We expressed what we felt for each other through our actions. Her breathing relaxed after some time. She must have fallen asleep. I softly called out her name. "Jessica.." The only response I got from her was her gentle breathing. "I love you." I said in a soft whisper. Chapter 30 I woke up to knocking on my room door. "Taeyeon ah do you want to join us for breakfast?" Yuri called out to me. I looked at my alarm clock. It was 8.30am. I had no classes today. Jessica had class at 11am. "It's ok Yuri. I want to continue sleeping." I called out to her hoarsely. Jessica stirred to the noise. She kissed my neck and went back to sleep. I held her closer and shut my eyes as well.

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*** There was an incessant ringing in my left ear. It was the alarm I set last night. I switched off the alarm. It was 9.30am and time for Jessica to get up if she did not want to be late for class. She was still asleep. "It's time to wake up." I said rubbing her nose with mine. She blinked a few times and kissed the tip of my nose. "Good morning." The way she said good morning always sounded really sweet to my ears. It was one thing hearing it, it was another just knowing that she was there. "Good morning." I kissed her lightly on the lips. I sat up and placed both feet on the ground. There was a tug on my t-shirt. "Don't get up yet. Can we cuddle for a bit?" She whined accompanied by a few soft tugs on my t-shirt. "Silly girl. You'll be late for your lecture." "Hmphh" She released her grip on my top. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I turned to see here pouting. She pulled the covers over her head. It made me smile. She was just so adorable at times. Whoever expected the seductive and hot bodied Jessica to have such a side to her. I did not touch her nor attempt to coax her. I just walked around the bed and said nonchalantly. "Oh well and I was thinking to attend your lecture with you today since I have got no classes. Seems like that's not happening anymore since someone is mad at me." She threw off the covers and jumped out of bed. She ran towards me and hugged me. "You're the best." It made me smile again. I've been smiling a lot since we started seeing each other unofficially. "Let me check if Yuri is around. She shouldn't be. Her class is at 9.30am. But it's better to be safe than sorry." I said sneakily. I went out of my room and shut the door behind me. I walked around the flat. There was no sign of life. I went to the kitchen. It was spic and span. There were no dishes in the sink at all.

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I walked back down the doorway. Yuri's door was shut. I knocked on it. I was about to turn my back and leave when I felt a gust of moving air as the door behind me pulled open. I froze. "Yuri's in class are you looking for her?" I could recognize that voice anywhere. I grew up hearing that voice. Yoona was still in Yuri's room. I turned. "Oh yeah I wanted to ask her if there was any food left from breakfast. I forgot that she has early class today. Don't you have class today?" I probed. I wanted to know how long would Yoona be hanging around. "Well my class is at 1.30pm today. Yuri will return at 12pm to have lunch with me before the both of us head to school together again. Are you joining us?" "Oh no it's fine. The both of you can have a romantic lunch." I said acting all mischievous. Yoona poked me in the temple. "Stop being silly. Anyway if you're hungry I can make some breakfast for you." Yoona offered. We have always cared for each other very much since we were kids. People always mistook us for a couple. We were too close to each other. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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My ex-girlfriends were always jealous of Yoona and Yoona's exgirlfriends were always jealous of me. We found it incredibly amusing because we knew that the both of us would never make it past the first kiss. Yoona's relationships always ended because her girlfriend got too jealous and possessive. Yoona was strong headed so she rarely gave in to their ridiculous protests of her being too close to me. In fact she thrived on getting even closer the more they protested. I'm glad that Yuri and Yoona got together. I was close enough to Yuri so she would be less likely to be jealous of me. My guess would be that Yuri and Yoona would outlast the previous relationships they have had with other girls. They seem to have a mutual understanding. At least Yuri seemed to be very accommodating. They were what I would call the almost perfect pair. Now back to the problem at hand. Jessica was stuck. Again. I thought hard. I had to sneak Jessica out of the flat. "Helloooo I'm waiting..Do you want breakfast or not?" Yoona said impatiently. "Oh no it's fine. I'm heading to the library so I'll just grab a bite along the way." I said as I turned to return to my room. "Kim Taeyeon. Are you sure you're not plotting anything?" Yoona said in a suspecting tone. Like I said. We were close. We knew each other well enough Author : Yongel [email protected]

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for it to be difficult to have secrets. I had a secret now and it was a huge one. Yoona was definitely going to call me stupid and dumb and what not if she knew what was going on. She would of course still stand by me despite her strong disapproval. "Plot what? How to take over the world?" I said in my best sarcastic voice. "No. Plot how to take over Jessica's heart." Her sentence hit too close to home. I was already in the midst of doing that. "I know that the both of you have been spending time together. I know that she was over last night." My heart was racing when Yoona said that. Did she see Jessica in the bathroom? I was feeling on edge. I was wondering whether or not to confess. I was wondering how to explain the situation to her. Yoona would hate that I lied to her. She hated people cheating too. We were doing both. I was afraid of how she would treat Jessica when she found out the truth. I was afraid that she would judge Jessica. "Whoever eats Jajangmyeon with two pairs of chopsticks? Do you think I'm dumb." I eased up at her sentence.

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"Fine smart one. Jessica was over for dinner. It was just a friendly dinner. I know she has a boyfriend ok. Stop worrying." "I just don't want you to get hurt." Yoona said genuinely. "Don't worry Yoona I know what i'm doing." I said reassuring her. Anyway I was already in too deep. No time for regrets. Jessica was definitely listening in on our conversation. I didn't want her to overhear anything too negative. It was not like she did not already have too much on her plate of worries and trouble. "Ok return to Yuri's room and continue whatever you're doing. I'll be heading out soon." I pushed her back to Yuri's room. I returned to my own room. Jessica was sitting on my bed. She was looking slightly glum. I looked at the small clock sitting by my bed. It was already 9.42am. "Why is my darling looking so glum?" I said walking over and tilting her chin upwards to face me. She pulled away. "I don't want to end up hurting you. I don't want to be the one to cause you pain." Jessica's eyes were red. It seemed like she was going to cry. Yoona's words must have affected her. I stood in front of her. I pulled her head towards my body. I rested her head against my tummy. I stroked her hair. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Don't be silly. I told you many times I know what I'm doing. Don't worry. I'm made of steel. I don't get hurt so easily. Let's just enjoy all the time we have together alright? Let's not waste time worrying about things we can not change. Every moment is precious." I said in a low whisper. She stood up and hugged me really really tight. "Ok. I'll treasure every moment we have with each other." Chapter 31 Although it has only been two days Jessica and I have already been through quite a fair bit of emotional moments. I guess that's how it is when you know you'll lose something or someone important one day. We disengaged from the hug. I prepared to sneak her out of my flat. The distance from my room to the main door never felt so far. The both of us were like preys evading predators. We braced for the sprint. If Yoona walked out of the room now I had a great deal of explaining to do. "Are you ready?" I whispered to Jessica in a low voice. She nodded. It was quite the comical sight. The both of us seemed like we were preparing for a race.

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I silently opened my room door. I pulled Jessica's hands and we started running for the door. We were almost there. I had my hands on the door handle. In that same moment I picked up the sound of Yuri's door knob being twisted as well. She had a squeaky door knob. I thank god for that. I rushed to pull the door open. I pushed Jessica out the main door. "Oh hey Jessica. Good morning." I said just in time as Yoona walked down the corridor. Thankfully I got Jessica to change into her own clothes before we left my room. If she was still in my clothes the truth would be revealed instantly. "Good morning Taeyeon." Jessica said playing along. She held in a giggle. I had to think fast. Why was Jessica here. There had to be an explanation. "Oh here you go. You left this here after you went back last night." I said thrusting a pocket of air into her hands. I dropped the imaginary item into her hands. I mouthed the words 'It's my heart.' "Thank you. I'll keep it well and never leave it behind ever again." She was trying hard to keep a straight face. It was like we were in drama class or something. "Bye. I'll see you around." I waved to her. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"See you." She turned and left. I shut the door. "So Jessica is your new best friend now?" Yoona said while she pulled open the refrigerator. She was being sarcastic. "Oh sounds like a great plan. I'll make her my new best friend since you took Yuri away and Yuri took you away. Thanks for the perfect suggestion!" I knew exactly how to tick her off. I made a quick escape and went back to my room before Yoona could say anything else. She could really be nag sometimes. I picked up my mobile. I wanted to send Jessica a text message but I saw that she sent had me a message already. 'I'll see you at my flat in a bit?' I could imagine her saying that in a gentle manner. I grinned. 'Get ready for class. I'll see you after I wash up.' I sent her my reply. I showered, got changed and headed over to Jessica's. "Bye I'm off to the library. Have a good lunch." I said to Yoona before I left my flat. "Bye, Jessica's best friend." I knew Yoona was slightly mad at me for my earlier comment. If she was already this upset that I was hanging out with Jessica, I wonder how big a reaction she would produce if she found out the truth. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I had better things to worry about now. I arrived at Jessica's flat. I buzzed. Sooyoung pulled open the door. "Hi Taeyeon. Looking for Yoona?" She asked me. "Oh err yes." I murmured. "Come on in." Sooyoung said inviting me in. I walked in and headed for Yoona's room. I knocked on the door knowing that the room was empty. "It's Taeyeon here. Are you in there? I'll wait for you downstairs!" I said loud enough for the entire flat to hear. Jessica was walking out of the bathroom with her towel. I smiled at her. She smiled back. She gently slid her hands along my waist as she walked past me and returned to her room. "Oh well I guess Yoona's not around." I said talking to myself. I walked out into the living room, thanked Sooyoung and left the flat. I made my way to the big tree in front of Jessica's flat.

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It was where she first saw me. I stood at the tree and looked up at her flat. She must have seen me from the balcony that night. I stood there trying to imagine the scene. Everything felt so amazing. Whoever thought that Jessica would get attracted to me. Life is unpredictable. I saw through the balcony that Jessica had just stepped out the front door. I headed towards the stairs. I would hold Jessica's hands if the situation permitted but of course it did not. She started taking the path that led to school. I walked beside her. Our arms occasionally brushed up against each other. We arrived at her lecture hall. The both of us headed inside. We took a seat at the back row. "So what is this lecture about?" I asked her. "Cognitive Psychology. It's an elective unit." "Awesome." I said. I have alway been interested in psychology. "No it isn't. It's boring. Really." Jessica said uninterested. It was obvious she regretted selecting this elective. She took out her notes. Today's lecture was on Memory. She took out her pen and placed it on the wooden bench.

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We were in the Science school lecture theatre. The lecture hall was lined with rows of solid wooden benches that acted as a writing surface. These tall wooden benches also hid most of our body from view. It was perfect for Jessica and I. Jessica was digging in her bag for something when I quickly took her pen and drew a little heart on her notes. I drew it just beside the topic title. I replaced her pen cap and acted like I did not move at all. The lecturer stepped in. The chattering students quietened down. It seems like they feared this lecturer. It was either fear or respect. I could not really tell. He had a full head of grey hair, the roots of his hair displaying white. He had on a pair of black plastic spectacles. He had really thin lips and small beady eyes. I sat back and held on to Jessica's free hand. We rested our hands on her thigh. The lecture began. Jessica looked at her notes and saw the heart that I scribbled on. She smiled. That smile made me happy. I enjoyed making her smile. The lecture went on. It was pretty interesting for me. Almost all of the students were taking down notes furiously. I just sat there and listened.

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In the middle of the lecture, the lecturer's eyes fell on me. It made me feel slightly uneasy. "You there why aren't you taking down notes, and where are your lecture notes?" He asked in an unpleasant manner. I was offended at his rude attitude. I was also stunned. I did not know how to react. Technically I was not supposed to be sitting in this lecture. "What is the function of the hippocampus?" He asked challenging my memory. He wanted to prove his point about taking down notes. I could tell that Jessica was panicking. I held on to her hands firmly, letting her know that everything was going to be ok. "The hippocampus is important for encoding memories, storing cognitive maps, and also used for memory consolidation." He was not pleased that I could answer his question. "What happens when there is damage to the hippocampus?" He continued trying to create an opportunity to find fault with me. "It can lead to the disability for someone to form new memories, also known as anterograde amnesia." I saw a smirk on his face. It seemed like he was about to shoot me down. I knew why he thought that. "Although the hippocampus is damaged it does not mean that it is totally impossible to form new memories. It hinders episodic memories but not the formulation of semantic memories." I added on confidently. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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The other students in the lecture hall started cheering. I could tell from his expression that I had won the battle. He shushed the class and continued with his lesson. Jessica was looking at me with the 'I can't believe you just pulled that off' look on her face. I could see that she was thoroughly impressed. She was not the only one. There were a few heads turning here and then to look at me. She scribbled on her paper. 'You're so amazing. You must have just charmed half the girls in this lecture, me inclusive.' I reached for her pen and drew on my own hands. She smiled shyly when she saw the words on my hands. It read 'Jessica's property.' Chapter 32 The class ended. I let go of Jessica's hands. She packed up and we left the lecture hall. We were standing outside the door when a few female students approached us. They were giggling.

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They were only looking at me. Jessica was probably nonexistent in their eyes. "Hi you really know your work well. We were wondering if you could help us out with our school work? Maybe tutor us some time?" "Oh umm. I don't know if i'll have the time. I'll need to check with my girlfriend. I'll see you girls around." I waved at the disappointed bunch of them and walked off with Jessica. I took Jessica the long way back to our hostel. We walked by the back of the school. There were lesser people who took that path. Jessica held my hands. It was rare that she initiated such actions in public. Of course two girls holding hands were not utterly abnormal. It could be a friendly act, so it wasn't that bad. "Someone's so bold as to hold my hands openly huh?" She was swinging our hands with each step forward. "I better claim my property before another girl steps in and takes you away." "They can never take my heart away from you. Nobody can." We walked hand in hand until we were close to our hostel.

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We talked along the way. Sharing bits of our lives with each other. We found out things we did not know about each other. "Are you coming over to my flat? I'll cook some ramyun for the both of us?" Jessica asked me as the both of us stood at the foot of her flat's stairs. "I'll head back first. I'll drop by in ten minutes?" "Ok. Come back soon." She said smiling to me. "I will." I watched her walk up the stairs. She gave me a flying kiss before she stepped in the door. That was totally cute. I returned to my flat. I did so partially to check whether Yuri or Yoona were around. It was quiet. Although I have learnt that it being quiet did not mean that no one was around. I shut the main door. I heard a squeak coming from Yuri's door knob. The door pulled open. It was Yuri. "Taeyeon ah you're back. I was wondering where you went. Were you with Jessica?" "Is Yoona at class?" I diverted her attention with another question. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Yes Yoona is at class. I miss her already." She said as she walked out of her room frowning. "I know how you feel." I said thinking of Jessica. "Sounds like you miss Jessica." Yuri chuckled. "What's that?" Yuri suddenly said as she reached for my hands. I recalled what I wrote on my hands. I haven't had the chance to wash it off yet. I hid my hands behind my back instantly. "Yaaaa yaaa Kim Taeyeon. I thought I saw Jessica's name. What's that?" Yuri started cornering me. I placed my other hand behind my back and started rubbing frantically. I hope that I could erase it fully. Yuri was still reaching for my hands. She grabbed one of my shoulders and tried to pull at my arm with her other free hand. Her grip was too strong. She brought my hands up. She squinted. My hands were red. It must have been from all that rubbing. 'J..sica...Pr...ty' was wad what left on my hands. "Yaaa what in the world is this. The first word is Jessica. What's Author : Yongel [email protected]

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the second word? Pretty?" Yuri burst out laughing. "Yaaa Kim Taeyeon you're officially obsessed with Jessica. Writing on your own hand like that. You better wash it off before Yoona or Jessica sees it on your hand." Yuri was still laughing. I went to the bathroom and started scrubbing my hands. That was close. I have been too careless these few days. It's time to be more careful. "So how are things with Jessica?" Yuri asked as she leaned against the bathroom door. "We're getting along fine. Of course your girlfriend is not very happy that i'm getting closer to Jessica." "Well do what makes you happy. I'm not going to say the same thing as Yoona just because she's my girlfriend." I flicked the water off my hands. "I know. I'm heading over to Jessica's for some food." I went back to my room and dried my hands on my towel. "I'll go over with you. I'll wait there for Yoona to return from class." I heard Yuri grab her keys and shut her room door. The both of us walked over to Jessica's flat. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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We arrived and knocked on the door. Jessica pulled open the door with a wide smile. "Ohh Taeyeon ah, Yuri." I think she was a little surprised to see Yuri beside me. "Yuri wants to wait here for Yoona to return from class." "I see." Jessica said walking back to the kitchen. "Anyway I'm making ramyun. Want some Yuri?" Jessica called out from the kitchen. "Oh no it's ok. I'll just watch TV. I'm still full from lunch." Yuri planted herself in front of the TV. I walked to the kitchen. Jessica was waiting for the water to boil. She was facing the stove with her hands resting on the counter. I gave her a back hug. She turned slightly surprised. She gave me a quick kiss on the lips before pulling my hands away from her waist. She smacked me lightly. "Have you forgotten how many times we almost got caught?" She whispered in an extremely low voice. "I made sure to check before I hugged you. Don't you trust me?" I said staring into her eyes with a cheeky grin.

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She kissed my cheeks. Just then I heard foot steps coming towards us. I stepped away from Jessica and reached for a glass. "Taeyeon can you grab a glass for me too. I'm thirsty." Yuri said appearing around the wall. She was dressed in blue sweatpants and a pink t-shirt. The both of us looked like residents of this flat. It was pretty ironical. We moved out this semester for peace and quiet but here we were inviting ourselves over to a crowded flat because of two attractive girls. Life is a funny thing. Things happen when you least expect it to. I joined Yuri at the TV. Both of us holding a glass of water in our hands. "So aren't you one lucky person, Jessica is cooking lunch for you. Both of you sure are progressing." She said softly. She made sure no one else could hear us. If only she knew how far we have progressed. Just then Jessica set two bowls at the dining table. "Taeyeon ah it's ready. Come on over and eat." I was starving. I rubbed my tummy and walked over. We started eating while sneaking each other loving glances. While we were halfway through, the door opened. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Yuri you're here!" We heard a voice squeal excitedly. Yoona ran towards her and gave her a big tight hug. "What are you doing here?" Yoona asked Yuri her back facing the dining table. She has not noticed me yet. "I came here to wait for you to return from school." Yoona held Yuri's hands and turned. Yuri stood up from the sofa. Yoona's face changed when her eyes landed on me. Her eyes narrowed and she wrinkled her nose disapprovingly. She looked at Jessica and then back at me again. She dragged Yuri back to her room. They disappeared for the next fifteen minutes. By then I was already done eating. I was about to bring the bowl to the sink when Yoona appeared in the corridor. "Taeyeon ah can you spare me a minute?" "Go on I'll clear up." Jessica urged me to go as she started bringing the dishes to the sink. I was sure Yoona had much to say. I stood up reluctantly and followed her. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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We entered her room. Yuri was resting on Yoona's bed. She flashed me a look that said I was in trouble with Yoona. The door was now shut. "Kim Taeyeon what do you think you're doing? I thought I told you many times to stay away from Jessica. I heard from Sooyoung when I came back to get my stuff for school that you were over here looking for me? Why were you here when you knew I was in your flat. You were here for jessica weren't you. I told you many times that Jessica has got a boyfriend. Why can't you stay away? You know how much I hate to see you end up in a one sided love affair and get your heart broken right? What's wrong with you. Why don't you ever listen? Stay away before it's too late and you start falling for her even more." Yoona was rambling on and on. She was like an unstoppable force. So was my love for Jessica. "Yoona don't worry. Everything will be fine." I said trying to appease her. "Everything will be fine? Everything will be fine?? Let me see how everything can be fine when you see her with her boyfriend and you realize that you are in love with her. I'll wait for you to tell me that everything is fine then. I have warned you many times. I know you better than you know yourself." Her words hit me like a hurricane. I knew that I would end up suffering but I could not afford to let Jessica just go by like that. I rather get a little taste of Jessica now and suffer the pain later than to never ever know how it's like to have her. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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The same logic applied for investments. Low risk low returns, high risk high returns. I was a big gambler when it came to love. I knew that Yoona was right. I didn't know how to answer her. I didn't know what to say anymore. She was not a risk taker when it came to love. Yuri was but she wasn't. Yuri saw that it was an awkward situation so she cut in. "Darling stop getting so mad over this. Taeyeon just wants to be friends with Jessica. Let them be. If anything happens in future at least Taeyeon has the both of us right? And Taeyeon is old enough to make the right decisions so stop worrying about her." Yuri was different from Yoona. Yuri was more of a supportive person and Yoona was more of an opinionated person. I was thankful that Yuri spoke up for me. "Whatever it is I've done my part. I'll not say don't come crying to me when your heart gets broken because I'll be here for you. Also I know for sure you'll end up crying. So go on Kim Taeyeon play with fire all you want now." Yoona's sentence may seem cold and sarcastic but you could see her care and concern hidden in that statement. She wanted me to know that she would still always be there for me even if I made a stupid decision she warned me against. Although I seemed cool and calm on the outside. The fear in me began sprouting. The fear of losing Jessica was growing.

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Chapter 33 It has been quite a while since Jessica and I started seeing each other. We spent almost every bit of free time together. At times we would also hang out with Yuri and Yoona. The first few days we spent together was unplanned and we almost got caught many times. We decided that it was better to be safe than sorry. It became a constant routine for us to sneak to each other's flat in the middle of the night. It was of course more convenient for Jessica to sneak over to my flat because there were lesser people around, but then again it was very inconvenient since Yoona was over most of the time. In the end, we just stayed at whichever flat Yoona and Yuri were not at. If they stayed over at my flat we would stay over at Jessica's. If they stayed over at Yoona's we would stay over at my place. Ultimately we ended up at Jessica's place most of the time. We always left each other at dawn before everyone else got up. If Yoona and Yuri realized that I was not in my room they would definitely suspect. It was fine if Yuri suspected, I didn't want Yoona knowing.

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I was not ready for that yet. Today was no exception. My phone alarm beeped. It was 6.30am. It was time for me to return to my flat. Every morning without fail, Jessica would get up when she heard the beep of my alarm. It became a sound she was sensitive to. It meant that I was going to leave her side. Every morning she would let me go with great reluctance. We grew more and more attached to each other in this short time period. Jessica held on tightly to me. She had her arms wrapped around my waist. "Baby don't go yet. Please. I can't bear a moment without you by my side." I could not bear to leave as well. She was snuggling up to me as she said that. I pulled her even closer. "Ok. Just fifteen more minutes ok?" "Ok." She said smiling. She gave me a gentle kiss. The skies outside were becoming brighter. Birds started chirping. It was a very nice and refreshing feeling to be up this early. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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It felt really good especially when you had the girl of your dreams snuggling up to you. We just lay there stroking and caressing each other tenderly. "Alright it is time for me to go back." I made my way off the bed. Jessica held on to my hands. She did not wish to let go. "Silly girl. I'll not be gone for good. We'll see each other a few hours later." I gave her a light peck on her cheeks. I pulled my hands away from her. She crawled out of bed and gave me a back hug. She leaned her head against my back. One hand was around my waist and the other was up against my chest. I took the hand on my chest and pulled it up to my lips. "Come on now. Be good and return to bed. I'll see you later." I gave her one last kiss before I left her room. *** Someone was knocking on my door. "Taeyeon ah wake up." It was Yoona. I got out of bed and opened my door.

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"We're going grocery shopping later. Want to come along?" "Ok. I'll ask Jessica along too." I said as I made my way to the flat phone. Yoona sighed. She had slowly come to terms that I was stubborn in my pursuit. I dialed for her flat. I was met with an engaged dial tone. I sent her a text message. 'Called your flat but couldn't get through. Going grocery shopping with Yoona and Yuri. See you in fifteen minutes?' 'Am on the line with Donghae. Will hang up now. See you in ten. I miss you already.' 'See you. Miss you too' Jessica still had to call Donghae whenever she could. Of course they talked way lesser now. She gave the excuse of having too many assignments. *** One week had passed since we last went grocery shopping. It was a Sunday. Donghae was going to arrive tomorrow. I have heard a great deal of stories about him. Most of which were a big turn off to me. I hated how he treated Jessica. For the past two weeks, Jessica Author : Yongel [email protected]

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and I had been sharing a lot with each other. We talked about our families and our lives thus far. We shared a close emotional and physical bond with each other. Our relationship was a special one. The day I dreaded was finally here. Donghae would be visiting for a week. They had already planned for it even before Jessica and I met. If she had known that she would meet me, she would never have allowed him to visit. His visit was good practice for me. At least I would experience how it feels like for her to be taken away from me for the first time. Perhaps it wouldn't be that difficult when the time comes for her to leave me for good. Somehow all I felt today was the need to stay close to Jessica. I believe she felt the same way too. We borrowed Yuri's car. Her father bought her the car and she had just received it last weekend. It was a second hand car, but still functional. We borrowed the car on the pretext that we had to buy stuff and prepare for Donghae's arrival. It was his birthday. Of course Yuri knew better. She loaned us the car for the entire day. Before we left she specifically said to me, "Take your time. You can return me the car keys tomorrow morning. I'll just hide away in my room with Yoona all day today. Enjoy your day."

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She meant for Jessica and I to spend the whole day together and that she would take care of Yoona so we wouldn't face any disturbance. Naturally I took up the offer. Jessica and I went to the grocer to get the items for the cake early in the day. We bought it and kept the items in the car. Following that we went for a movie. We cuddled throughout the movie. Wherever we went, we were hand in hand. After the movie we went for lunch. We ordered a bowl of bibimbap and we shared it. After which we went for ice cream. We bought a double scoop on a cone and we shared that too. In other words, we were one the entire day. In the late afternoon we decided to walk around the city and shop for a little bit. We walked around the mall and Jessica suddenly saw this white bear. "This bear looks like you." She said holding the bear up. "Really?Hmmm..Too bad there's no pig here." She pulled her hands away and folded her arms. I tugged at her left sleeve.

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"I meant if there was a pig it would look even more like me." I ended that sentence by pushing up on my nose and snorting like a pig. Jessica laughed. She pulled my hand that was pushing on my nose and held it tight. "Anyway this bear is really cute. Let's get it for Yuri. It's to thank her for loaning us her car the entire day." I picked up the bear. It was white and fluffy. The material was very soft and smooth to the touch. It was really nice to hold. It fitted snugly in my arms. The bear was sized perfectly for an adult. "So what are we doing after this?" Jessica asked as I paid for the bear at the counter. "Let's go to Namsan? You haven't been there have you?" She shook her head. "Ok then Namsan it is." I smiled. Chapter 34 It was already 5pm by the time we arrived at Namsan. The skies were a deeper blue than before. We parked the car and got off.

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The fact that it was getting darker by the minute meant that night was approaching. After nightfall came daybreak. That meant the beginning of my nightmare. All I had to do now was savor every last moment with Jessica before the one week of hell. It was slightly chilly atop the mountain. Jessica hugged my arm as we walked. I placed both hands in my pocket. We did not talk much. We just enjoyed the scenery from where we were. We continued walking until we were met with the sight of millions of locks being attached to a fence. "So this is the famous place where lovers swear by their love for each other?" Jessica asked me. "Uh huh." I nodded my head. Jessica pointed at a gift shop that was selling locks. "So do we just buy the locks there and you know write our promise to each other, lock it and toss the key?" I knew she was hinting that we do it. "Yes people do that."

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I continued walking away from the gift store. I knew she was too embarrassed to make the request out loud. She was waiting for me to initiate it. "Wow look at the number of locks here. All lovers do it when they are here huh?" She continued hinting. "Uh huh." I nodded. I acted like I didn't care for it. I could tell that she was getting impatient. "Looks fun doesn't it?" "Nope. Doesn't look like its fun to me." I enjoyed teasing Jessica. I led her until we were at the far corner. I looked at my watch. The sun was going to set soon. I stuck my hands back in my pocket. I could see from the corner of my eye that Jessica was sulking. I hid my grin. I chose to stop at a spot in the fence that would give us the perfect view of the sunset. I just stood there with Jessica and watched at the sky slowly turned orange.

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It was a beautiful sight along with a beautiful girl standing by my side. I turned to look at her face. She was still sulking. "Now now why is my baby sulking? Did I do something wrong?" I acted as if I were oblivious to what she wanted. "No. I'm not sulking." She denied. "Really? That's not a sulk I see on your face. Oh well. Let's watch the sunset then." That made her sulk even more. She pulled her arms away and crossed them. It was the perfect moment. The sun was at the perfect angle. The sky was orange, pink, purple and blue all at the same time. I firmly reached for her right hand with my left. I pulled her hands and stuck it into my jacket pocket. I pressed a cold hard object into the palm of her hand that was in my pocket. She turned and looked at me. "What's that?" She asked puzzled at the cold hard object. She pulled her hands out. It was a pair of lock I prepared earlier. I already intended to bring her here. The moment she saw what was in her hands. The frown

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disappeared from her face. It was like it was never there to begin with. She was now grinning from ear to ear. She nudged me. "You're such a tease Kim Taeyeon." "Am I?" "Yes you are." "So do you want to put on the lovers locks with Kim Taeyeon? If you don't we can leave now." I asked Jessica with a cheeky grin. I turned and pretended to walk away. She reached for my hands instantly. "Of course I want to. I don't ever want to do it with anyone else." "Ok then. Let's do it." I said smiling at her. I whipped out a marker from my other pocket. "Someone sure is prepared huh?" She said sarcastically. "Of course. For Jessica Jung I'm always prepared." That made her laugh. I wrote on my lock Forever Jessica Jung's and she wrote Forever Kim Taeyeon's.

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Before we clamped down the lock I stopped her. "Jessica. I need you to know that just like the sunset, all beautiful things come to an end. Even so, the sun is always there. It never disappears even if you can't see it. The sun is akin to my feelings for you. Know that even if i'm not by your side I am always there." I pushed gently and the both of us clamped down on the locks. We tossed the key. The sun was almost disappearing. We looked into the horizon. Jessica held my waist and leaned on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her. We watched as the sun set completely. The both of us have not said the three golden words to each other yet. I only did so when she was asleep. I guess the reason why we both chose not to was because we knew that whatever we shared would come to an end. Saying the three words to each other now would just cause the both of us so much more pain when the time came for us to be apart. I kissed her gently on the forehead. "Come on let's go for a walk." Jessica kept one arm on my waist. I kept my arm on her shoulders and we started walking.

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We ended up at a bench facing the view of the city. There was a long wooden fence that ran the length of the edge. Trees lined the area. We sat down on the bench. We sat really close to each other. There was a tree overhanging our bench. The glow from the street lamp softly illuminated the area. There were a few other couples sitting around. Autumn leaves littered the ground. Jessica was holding me very tightly. "You know I'll be constantly thinking of you even though I'm by his side right?" She asked me softly. I knew deep inside that she was slightly worried that I would be a mess the entire week Donghae was there. I did not want her to see that side of me. I did not want her to feel guilt. "Yes I know that. I'll also be thinking of you. One week will go by quickly. Before you know it you'll be back by my side again." I appeared strong on the outside but I was trembling inside. Jessica had suffered enough for the past few years. I wanted to be her pillar of support. I couldn't let her see my pain and my fears. Neither could I allow her to see my tears. "I can't wait. I'll miss your hug and your kisses."

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She reached for my lips. We kissed. The kiss felt different from the rest of the kisses we shared previously. The kiss was much more tender. The kiss was filled with emotions. The kiss was an affirmation of our feelings. Through the kiss, our hearts bonded. Instead of two hearts, our hearts became one. Chapter 35 We sat under the tree in the cold for a long time. It felt sweet to be sitting there together. None of us wanted to leave. If we could we would sit there forever. We did not need food, water, sleep. We just wanted to sit there with each other for the rest of our lives. If that was ever possible we would do it. I spoke up first. "Baby let's make a move? It's getting late and it's getting colder. I don't want you to catch a cold." She hugged me very tightly and held me down. She shook her head that was already snugly against my neck and my shoulders. "No. I don't want to go yet." Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I ran my fingers through her hair. "Silly girl." "Yes I'm silly for you only. Only Kim Taeyeon makes me act all silly." "So do I get a silly little kiss from the silly little girl if the silly pair of us sit here in the cold?" "No you don't." Jessica said looking up at me lovingly. "You get a sweet long kiss. Kissing you is never silly." We kissed again. This kiss was long and affectionate. I pulled away at the end with much difficulty. "We should really go soon. It's getting late." We gave each other one last gentle peck on the lips before we stood up. We took a slow walk back to the car. All this while we were locked in a tight loving embrace. We were oblivious to the world. All we saw that night was each other. We arrived at the car. Jessica got in the driver's seat and I got into the passenger's seat.

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We kissed sweetly once again. We spent the next fifteen minutes or so kissing before we made our way back to campus. We pulled into the car park and parked the car. We got off the car. I helped Jessica to carry the groceries and she carried the bear for me. We arrived back at her flat. It was quiet. All the lights were off. Everyone must have fallen asleep already. I kept away the groceries for Jessica. I took the bear away from her. "Ok I'm heading back to my flat now." "Are you coming back?" She asked holding on to my arm. "I will. Give me your keys. I'll come back after I shower." Jessica handed me her keys. "You should take a warm shower too." I walked her to her room and unlocked her room door. I reached for her towel and handed it to her. She shut the door and dropped all her clothes before wrapping herself in her towel. She gave me a kiss once more before heading for the shower. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I reached for a piece of paper and started quickly writing a note to Jessica.

To the lovely Jessica Jung, I know that you will miss me and our hearts will yearn for each other badly for a week. If it gets too difficult for you to bear, do confide in 'Little Taengom'. I bought it for you. Since you say it looks like me, treat it like it is me. Hug it when you miss me. Little Taengom will sleep by you for the entire week in my place. Know that I'll definitely be thinking of you when you think of me. I folded the note into a heart and stuck it on the bear. I placed the bear on her bed. I returned to my flat for a quick shower. I hung Yuri's car keys on the notice board and wrote her a Thank you note. It took me fifteen minutes to shower. All I wanted to do was to return to Jessica's side quickly.

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I dried my hair and hurried back to Jessica's flat. Time was not on our side. It was our last night together for the week. I finally arrived at her flat. She should be done showering already. I twisted on her door knob. It wasn't locked. She must have changed already. I peeped into the room to see her laying in bed. In her arms lay the little white bear that I bought. She was already putting into practice what I told her. She had on one of my t-shirt. It was a long baggy t-shirt that ended off at her hip. Jessica was attractive no matter what she wore. "You're back. Do you know how much I missed you. The past few minutes seemed like hours to me." I closed the door behind me. I gently caressed her cheeks. Her cheeks felt slightly damp. Under the dim orange glow of the table lamp, I saw a glistening tear rolling down her cheek. "Why is my baby crying?" It broke my heart to see her cry. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I kissed her cheek. "Do you know you're the sweetest most romantic and loving person i've ever met?" I climbed into bed and hugged her from behind. "Just like how you're my sexy little silly crybaby." That sentence made her laugh a little. It was an emotional night for the both of us. She turned to face me, still sniffling. I very gently wiped her tears. I looked deeply into her eyes. In that moment all I wanted to do was say three words to her. I held my tongue. I knew it would make the situation worse. I slipped my hands under her t-shirt and onto her waist. "You're so beautiful." Those were the only words that came out of my mouth. "So are you." Jessica moved her head nearer to mine. We were still exchanging deep loving stares. I moved my hands gently to her back. I started stroking her back ever so slowly and softly. Her smooth skin made it easy. She placed one hand on my cheek. She started playing with my Author : Yongel [email protected]

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hair. "How should we spend our last night together?" Jessica asked me tenderly. "I'll spend it however you wish. I'll do whatever you want." I replied her lovingly without breaking our gaze. "We can do what we did the first night we kissed." Jessica kissed me on the lips. She continued with the next sentence without pulling her lips away. "We're not sleeping tonight." I gently met her tongue with mine. We kissed a deep kiss before pulling apart slightly. "Yes. We're not sleeping tonight." Love filled the air that whole night. By the time it was morning. The both of us were exhausted. Although we still had not had enough of each other, at the very least we made the most of our last night together. We cuddled and slept the remaining few hours we had. Chapter 36

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We slept for about three hours. It was 9am by the time we both got up. I got up first. Jessica was still sleeping peacefully. I just lay there and watched her sleep. I was hugging her from behind. She was hugging 'Little Taengom' while holding on to my hands. I wonder how I would last without her by my side for a week. Nonetheless, I had to appear strong for her sake. I did not want to make things more difficult than it already was for her. I just took in every bit of her face. I would miss her greatly. Today was the beginning of an unofficial test for me. It was the 'to live without Jessica test'. I wonder how I would fare. I was focused on Jessica when my phone beeped. It was a message tone. I reached over Jessica for my phone that was placed on the study table. It was just beside Jessica's bed. The moment I took my hands away from her, she woke up. "Are you leaving?" She asked immediately. She turned and hugged me. "No, i'm just reaching for my phone. Don't worry. I'll spend as Author : Yongel [email protected]

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much time as I can with you before he arrives." I assured her. My mobile reflected that the message was from Yuri. I opened the message. 'I just went into your room. Are you with Jessica? Yoona does not know you're away. Anyway Yoona asked if you wanted to get breakfast? Ask Jessica along? Anyway reply soon. She thinks I'm in your room asking you.' "Darling, Yuri is asking us for breakfast. Do you want to go before picking Donghae later in the afternoon?" "I want to spend time with you alone." "Well. If we don't go Yoona will start to suspect. I don't think it is such a good idea especially since Donghae is visiting. Let's just go. We'll still be with each other." "Ok then." Jessica said obediently. "I'll return to my room first. I'll see you over at my flat in a bit?" "Ok. I'll be quick." Jessica planted a kiss on my lips before she got up. I peeked outside to make sure that it was safe to go before I left her room. Thankfully there wasn't anyone around the flat yet. It was a holiday. Nobody was awake yet. I walked back to my flat. I replied Yuri's text message. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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'Sure. I'm heading back now. Keep Yoona in your room. Jessica is joining us for breakfast.' I sent the message. When I arrived at my flat. I very quietly inserted the key into the door. I twisted the key silently. I softly pushed the door open and locked it. I walked with light steps towards my room. I snuck in and closed the door ever so gently. I saw that my bed was messed up. Yuri must have done that just in case Yoona decided to walk in. Just then my door opened. I turned. It was Yoona. "Good morning." I said innocently. "Good morning. Breakfast?" Yoona greeted me. I saw that her brow was furrowed when she pulled the door open. She must have guessed that something was up when Yuri took so long to ask me for breakfast. Yoona was a sharp person. Lucky for me I came back in time. "Yes Yuri asked me already. I just called Jessica too she'll be coming over in a bit." "Ok. I'll wash up first." Yoona replied.

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She did not show me any signs of disapproval when I mentioned Jessica today. I guess Yoona was sensitive enough to know that it was going to be a hard week for me. After a while, all of us were at my flat. We were all refreshed and ready to go. We walked to Yuri's car. We were heading out for breakfast at a fast-food chain. "I'm exhausted." Jessica sighed out loud. Jessica used that as an excuse to hook onto my arms for support. After all, Yoona knew that we were closer as friends now. It was not all that obvious. We had a lot of food. We were stuffed by the time we finished. By the time we headed back to our hostel, it was already 11.30am. Donghae was due at 4.30pm. Yuri was supposed to pick him up. It was her car after all. We had four more hours. Technically we had three if we excluded the drive to the bus terminal. I was starting to feel slightly uneasy. The time was drawing near. It was quite a pain to imagine what I would feel. It was utterly dreadful.

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I knew Jessica was definitely not looking forward to it too. I would love to spend the time we had left alone with Jessica, but no we could not. Jessica and Yoona hung out at my flat after we returned from breakfast. We decided to watch a movie in my room. Four of us sat on the couch together. It was a tight squeeze but Jessica and I were both happy with the situation. We were pressed against each other. Our hands were on our laps and our little pinky's were touching. After we were done with the show. It was already 2pm. One more hour. Time never stopped ticking. The clock could stop but time never stopped. The desperation I had inside was taking its toll on me. I wanted to spend the last hour locked in an embrace with Jessica. I wanted to spend the last hour kissing her. Yuri and Yoona were not giving us the chance to do so. I gathered that the both of them probably thought that I would need some company today since it was supposed to be a tough day for me. The both of them were half right. It was going to be a tough day and a tough week. What they did not know was that I Author : Yongel [email protected]

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would rather spend time alone with Jessica now. I was in no position to blame them. They were just being great friends to me. We started playing games on my console. I only had two controllers so we took turns. I barely had forty-five minutes left. I had to feel Jessica's lips one last time. I could see Jessica's desperation in her eyes too. I stood up and went to the kitchen. I had to get water. Drinking water calmed me down. I poured myself a glass of water. Suddenly I felt arms around my waist. I turned instantly. Jessica's lips met mine. We kissed quite passionately. We were at the point where we did not care if anyone were to walk out and see us. It was the last kiss we shared before Jessica left to get Donghae. We returned to the room separately. When it was time to go. Jessica asked if all of us were going. I kindly declined. I acted like I was hooked on the game I was currently playing. I knew that Jessica was slightly upset. She thought that I would rather play on my console than spend the last hour with Author : Yongel [email protected]

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her in the car. In fact I was actually afraid to be in the car with Donghae and Jessica. Yuri saw the fear in my eyes. She said that she was still feeling bloated from lunch and she didn't feel too well. She asked Yoona to bring Jessica instead. Yoona agreed. I knew Yoona could see that I was not my usual self. She just did not know the extent of the matter. Honestly both Yuri and Yoona didn't know as much as they thought they did. What Yuri saw was the tip of the Iceberg. She could not see the huge mass hidden under the surface of the water. As for Yoona, she was looking at the tip of the Iceberg from a mile away. The Iceberg probably looked extremely small to her. Yuri knew of the first and the last sleepover of which she imagined to be simple. Yoona only thought that Jessica and I were close friends now. I wanted to tell them and confide in them but I knew I should not. It was not fair to Jessica if I did. Jessica and Yoona left. It was happening. I was feeling lost. I was playing on the game console with Yuri but I was distracted. The moment Jessica left my side it felt terrible. It was more the thought of not being able to hold her, kiss her, or touch her in the one week that made me feel horrid. The thought of her standing next to some other guy who would touch her, kiss her, and sleep by her side killed me.

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I kept telling myself that no matter what I had to put on a front for Jessica. I kept reiterating that point in my head. I had to make sure he never ever suspected. If he found out, things would turn out to be disastrous. I kept thinking of how Jessica's father would react if he found out. It helped me a little. Of course I was already beginning to feel the pain creep up on me. If the pain I felt now was this bad, I wonder how bad the pain would be when I saw the both of them together. Chapter 37 [Timeline Monday - First day of Donghae's Arrival] Although I was sitting there beside Yuri, my mind was far away. All that I could think of was how Donghae would react to Jessica after not meeting for such a long time. I'm sure Donghae would miss her. I'm sure he would be all over her. That thought pained me. It made my face twitch in pain. I'm sure Yuri noticed that I was not myself today. I'm sure she assumed that I was in so much pain because I have had a chance to be physically close to Jessica before. Yuri would most definitely think that when Donghae was not around at least it was not in my face that Jessica was attached. Little did she know. It was much more than that. It was the agony of knowing that it was requited love, and yet

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an official relationship between the both of us would seem completely preposterous to all of society. What was more harrowing, was that I had to see the one girl I truly love in the arms of a guy that I knew could not love her better that I could. Even so there was nothing I could do about the situation. I swallowed the pain. After a long while of being thrashed by Yuri while playing on the game console, the phone rang. They were back. I was sure. It was a fact that I had to face. I had to carry myself over to Jessica's flat with my own two feet and watch the both of them with my own two eyes. No, I did not have two hearts to share the pain. I only had one. One heart that was true to Jessica. Yuri was being considerate. She allowed me to take free reign. I did not want her to see too much of my pain. I had to act normal. If I was too upset, the cat would be out of the bag. I did not want to tell anyone about Jessica and I. I did not want a single soul knowing. Why should we tell even Yoona or Yuri about us when it was going to end ultimately? Why should I give people a reason to judge Jessica? I should just spare her the pain of facing judgement and keep the both of us a secret. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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That was the same reason why Jessica and I never uttered the three words to each other. Why for say 'I love you' and affirm your love for each other, only to be met by heartbreak at the end of the day. If we did not say those three words, perhaps it would be less painful for the both of us to leave each other. At least we did not have to know that we did truly love each other. Denial is unhealthy but what else can be done? I kept my pain away. We arrived at the flat. I knew the meeting with him was unavoidable. I hope that I could manage the pain well enough so that it does not show on the surface. I walked up the stairs. It was the same stairs I looked forward to climbing every time. Today it was a difficult climb. I rather climb mount everest than climb this flight of stairs. Yoona greeted us at the door. I was hoping that the couple were not in the living room. They were not. I did not have to face my fears yet. I felt slight relief, until Yoona said that they were in Jessica's room. Jessica's room door was shut tight. I knew enough to know what could happen behind closed doors. We shared many nights behind closed doors. The thought of the same thing Author : Yongel [email protected]

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happening with Donghae and Jessica tormented me. I lost control for a split second. I rapped on the door. I did not want to see them but yet I wanted to break whatever they were indulging in. I calmed myself down while waiting for Jessica to open the door. She pulled open the door breathless. It was obvious that they were making out. I felt a surge of pain in my heart. With each beat, the pain spread in a slow wave. I felt the pain in every vein and ever nerve. Despite the pain I locked my smile in position. It took great effort to keep my smile in place. It took an enormous effort to just be in the same flat as the both of them what more smile at them. We got introduced. He told me that Jessica had been talking a lot about me. At least that eased the pain a little. I was truly surprised that she talked to him about me. I never sat through her conversations with him. It was nice to know that she thought of me even when she spoke to him. He ended up getting pushed to bed by Jessica. It was the bed Jessica and I spent so many nights in. Now, it was their bed for a week. That sent another ripple of pain through my heart.

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Now I knew why people don't ever smile when they are in pain. It was like lifting a truck with one finger. It took impossible effort. I was probably a prodigy in hiding my emotions. Perhaps my love for Jessica was playing a part in keeping me in balance. No doubt the pain I felt was because of love. It was also the same love that made me act like I was fine. I love her. I don't want her to feel bad about the situation. I love her. I don't want my pain to pain her. I never realized that I loved her this much until now. I had Donghae to thank for that. The rest of the night was pure stinging hurt and pain. After we sang the birthday song, the kiss between the both of them was the last straw. I had great difficulty keeping my tear ducts from reacting but the moment their lips touched, the flood gates opened. I knew that I was in no position to go up to them and take Jessica away. I knew I was nothing. Yes. I was nothing. They could kiss and make out and do anything they wanted. They had the right to do so. Who was I to interfere?

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He was the King, I was the court Jester; the fool. The Queen belonged to him, the fool was but only a tool to bring a smile to the Queen's face. Chapter 38 [Timeline Saturday - Night before Donghae's Departure] The pain that I withstood for the past few days was too much for any human to bear. Somehow I managed to pull through. Donghae was leaving the morning after. Jessica and Donghae both asked me to see him off. The pain in me was easing up since I knew that he was leaving soon. I was looking forward to Jessica's return. These few days that led up to the end of the week brought me through a long emotional journey. All I had to do was tolerate one more night of not having Jessica by my side. It was no easy feat but still at least it was the last day. I was laying in bed. There was a knock on my door. I glanced towards the door.

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Yoona walked in. She sat down on my bed beside me. "What's up?" I asked in a weak voice. I made no effort to hide that I was not in the best state. It seems like the strength has been sapped out of me because of all the emotional turmoil. "I have a question for you. Please be very honest with me" Yoona was looking me straight in the eye. I felt uneasy. "The more I think about it the more I feel that something is not right..." She said looking at me with a crease on her forehead. "Jessica knows bloody well that I'm with Yuri. I understand why you stopped me from correcting Donghae about his misconception of our relationship. You did not wish for him to think that you are interested in Jessica. Jessica on the other hand has no reason to not correct him and yet she did not. So tell me why is that?" "Shouldn't you ask Jessica and not me. How am I supposed to know." I deflected her question. "Are you sure you don't know? Maybe I should just walk into Jessica's flat now and ask her in front of Donghae." Yoona threatened. She was capable of doing that. That I was sure. She was one who could make good all her threats.

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I kept quiet for a moment. I had to do a quick assessment of the situation before I answered. The fact that I had been wallowing in pain for the past few days did not make it easy for my brain to function properly now. "So do you have any explanation for me?" Yoona was pulling a 'I'm giving you one last chance so you better own up or I'll do things my way'. I had no choice. "Well.." I said one word. The whole idea was to buy me some time for thought. "Yes. Go on." Yoona urged me. I thought of what Jessica said this afternoon when Donghae was in my room playing on my game console against me.

No. It‟s obvious that Taeyeon is better than you are. I‟m with her. Did Yoona catch on to Jessica's hidden words to me? Did she manage to decipher that Jessica was telling Donghae that I was a much better lover than him and that she was in a relationship with me. He was too slow and retarded to catch on but Yoona on the other hand was sharp. If she was aware and I lied to her. I was so dead. Even if she was not aware now, her inquisitive nature would cause her to probe further. If she probed further and she found out the truth. I was going to be dead as well. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I thought through it quickly. It was time to come clean. "Ok Yoona. You have to understand that both Yuri and you are important people to me. If given a choice I would never hide anything from the both of you." I said sincerely. She held a cold stare. She knew I was hiding something from her the moment I said that. "So what exactly is going on with Jessica and you?" She said sharply. "We are..Jessica and I..We..I don't know what we are...We..." I had difficulty coming up with the right words. It was not that I had trouble phrasing the sentence because of fear. I had trouble because I did not know what Jessica and I were considered. "So ok. Jessica is with Donghae officially right? Jessica and I are together unofficially." "And you never thought to tell me. Does Yuri know about it?" Yoona interrogated. That was one reason why I refrained from telling Yuri from the beginning. I did not want her to get caught in the middle. If Yuri knew and she kept it from Yoona as well, their relationship would be well on the rocks by now. "No Yuri does not know anything at all. Jessica and I kept it from everyone." "So that explains the extreme pain you feel. I told you you would cry did I not? You cried did you not? What in the world Author : Yongel [email protected]

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is Jessica trying to do? Does she enjoy causing you all this pain? Why is she cheating with you? Why can't she end it off with Donghae and just be with you. Why must she cheat? It's either she loves you or she loves him. Does she know of the pain that she's causing you? Does she not know how difficult it is for you to be placed in such a situation??" Yoona was getting more upset by the minute. She must feel that she could have prevented it. She hated cheating too. "She has her side of the story. Don't jump to conclusions and judge her. Her family is the problem. She does not love Donghae anymore but her father will never allow her to break up with him. He would never allow her to be with a girl. She can't defy him for the sake of her mother. Understand that it is not easy for her too." "That does not give her an excuse to make you fall for her. It's just not right. She's leading you on and giving you false hope." Yoona said angered at my quick defense for Jessica. "It's not false hope. She's not leading me on. We had a mutual understanding when we started seeing each other. We both knew that we would end one day and that she had to go back to her normal life. We both made a choice. The consequence is for the both of us to bear." I explained to Yoona. "Well so where are the both of you heading from here?" Yoona's question triggered an involuntary thought process in my head. This was the question that has been going through my head the past few days. The emotional built up was affecting me. The thought of the end didn't seem so appealing anymore.

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I wanted to make a choice. But I did not know if it was the right thing to do. "So what are you going to do after all this ends?" "I....don't know.." Chapter 40 I awoke to the sound of rain pattering against the window pane. Jessica was huddled up against me. It was the first night we shared after so long. At least I was not alone anymore. Jessica was snoring softly. It was cute. She must not have had a good night's rest since Donghae visited. I kissed her gently on her forehead. It felt good to be this close to her again. It felt like heaven. I stayed awake for a considerable period of time. I just wanted to savor every moment I had with her. After a while I felt thirsty. I very slowly pulled my hands away. She stirred but she did not wake up.

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I got up and pulled open my room door. I was about to walk to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water when I heard voices coming from Yuri's room. They were speaking in slightly raised voices. I stopped in my tracks. "Kwon Yuri you have no idea what you're saying. It's bullshit." I stood there and listened. "What's wrong with you it's true that as long as the both of them are happy with their choice we should just let them be. Why do you have to be this way? We should just respect their choice and accept the situation." Yuri sounded slightly frustrated. "Can't you see that Taeyeon will be the one that gets hurt the most ultimately? Jessica is being selfish. She gets to spend time with Taeyeon now and then she just leaves later and get happily married to Donghae. What is Taeyeon going to do then? They should just break things off now. Look at Taeyeon the past week. She was practically a zombie. All she did was stay in bed. Did you not see how much pain she was in already? This is crazy. I can't believe that you are siding them. Maybe the both of us shouldn't be together." I knew Yoona was saying that in a pique of anger. "What are you talking about now. What has it got to do with the both of us. So what you want to break up with me now? Is this the kind of love we share. So the whole world should just break up? Taeyeon should break it off with Jessica and you Author : Yongel [email protected]

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break off with me. That is what you want huh. This is the best solution is it? Breaking up is the best solution for everything. If that's what you want fine. Let's all go our separate ways. Everyone can just rot in hell and die!" Yuri was angry. She rarely got angry. Yuri's door pulled open. It shocked me. I could see that Yuri was slightly stunned too. I guess she did not expect anyone to be standing outside her door. She showed me an exasperated look and walked off into the kitchen. I felt bad that the both of them were arguing because of me. I followed Yuri into the kitchen. She was downing a glass of water. I poured myself one too. I leaned against the counter between the fridge and the sink. Yuri was facing the sink. "Hey. I'm sorry that the both of you had to argue because of me. I'm sure Yoona said that in anger. I'm sure she loves you." "I know she does. She's too stubborn. I can't get through to her." "Yes. She's a headstrong person. She may appear callous on the outside but really she's a softy inside." Yuri softened up a little.

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"Was I being too fierce?" Yuri asked slightly worried. "You were a little harsh with your last sentence." "Ok. But she should start learning how to be more accepting and forgiving. Not everything in life is black or white. There are too many grey areas in life. If she does not learn that, life is going to be tough for her. so what should I do now?" "I'll help you out. After all it's my fault this happened. Just be assertive when you return to the room. Trust me on this one." I placed the empty glass in the sink. I walked back to Yuri's room. I peered through the crack in the door. Yoona was sitting on the bed. She was tearing silently. I stepped into the room. I saw that she quickly wiped her tears when she heard the door open. When she turned and saw that it was me and not Yuri she instantly reached for Yuri's pillow and threw it at me. "It's all your fault." She started breaking into tears again. I knew she was crying because she was both frustrated and yet at the same time upset at herself for being so rash with her words. She was afraid that Yuri really meant for them to break up. She must have been shocked since Yuri had always been giving in to her until now. She has never seen Yuri lose her temper.

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"How is it my fault? Nobody asked you to say the last sentence you said. If you are prepared to say things like this so easily be prepared for the other party to take you up on your offer. I've never seen Yuri this mad before. You sure are in a lot of trouble." I said shaking my head. It was my intention to scare her. Yoona started to look worried. "But I love Yuri. I don't want to break up with her. I was just angry." She said in between sobs. "Oh well. It's up to Yuri if she still wants to be with you. All I can say is if Yuri decides that this is the end. I'll be here for you too." Just then Yuri stepped into the room. I stole her a wink. "Why are you still here? Since we should not be together I guess you should return to your room." Yuri said sternly. Yoona looked at me pleading for me to say something. I shrugged my shoulders. Yoona frowned at me and walked up to Yuri. She held Yuri's hands. "But I want to be with you...I was just angry just now and the words just came out of my mouth." Yoona said it like she was a little kid asking for forgiveness. She hugged Yuri.

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Yuri held Yoona's shoulders and pushed her away. "You mean you didn't mean it? So why did you say it? I thought that you should only say it if you mean it and if you say it you should mean it." Yuri continued, her hands still placed on Yoona's shoulders. We were leading her so that she could identify with Jessica's situation. "I really did not mean it. I love you. I want to be with you." Yoona pleaded. "Then why did you say it?" "I was blinded by anger. Even if I don't say that I love you it does not mean that I don't love you. If I say that I don't want to be with you it doesn't mean that I really don't want to be with you." There we got it. The perfect sentence. "So now you know not everything is what it seems isn't it. Jessica is in love with Taeyeon even though she is still with Donghae. Even if she did not tell Donghae that she does not want to be with him, it does not mean that she wants to be with him. Even if she is with Donghae it does not mean that she does not love Taeyeon. So why do you have to be so harsh on Jessica? Taeyeon is an adult. She's a willing party. She knows the consequences and yet she chose to do what she did. I'm sure as good friends we should just allow them to enjoy the happy moments. Life is too short. Life is too unpredictable. Not everything must be right or wrong only. And who are we to say that Taeyeon will definitely get hurt at the end of it all? We ain't god. Nothing is a hundred percent. If you don't try you'll never know. You get my point now Im Yoona?" Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Yoona nodded obediently. Yuri's sentence hit me. All this time I had been thinking of the end. I was being negative about the situation. How was I different from Yoona? In that moment, Yuri's words helped me. I found my direction. "So does that mean we're still together?" Yoona asked Yuri timidly. "Of course we are silly girl. I love you too much to let such a tiny matter ruin our relationship." They kissed. "Ok....Time for me to leave." I headed out the room. I heard the both of them giggling behind me. I walked back to my room and shut the door behind me. I got back to bed. I hugged Jessica. I was never going to let her go again. Chapter 41 It was morning. The night before was a crazy night. Yoona and Yuri almost broke up. I opened my eyes. I turned to look at Jessica only to find her gazing at me. She was already awake. For a moment I thought I saw a slight

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hint of pain in her eyes. "Good morning darling." Jessica said sweetly in my ears. I guess I was seeing things. "Good morning love." I said turning to kiss her lips. The both of us got out of bed. We washed up and went into the kitchen. Yuri and Yoona were already there. They were making sandwiches for breakfast. The both of them greeted us. I was still worried. I wonder if Yoona will make the effort. "Here Jessica have this." Yoona said thrusting out a sandwich at Jessica. I felt relief. I helped myself to a sandwich too. We ate and talked for a bit. The four of us spent the day out shopping, and snacking. We even watched a movie together. Everything was perfect. It was our first double date. By the time we were done with the movie it was late in the evening. We had dinner and returned. Jessica and I were alone in my room. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I pulled open the balcony door to air my room. Jessica walked out onto the balcony. "It's a beautiful night isn't it?" She said looking up at the sky. The skies were clear. The moon was shining brightly and many sparkling stars filled the night sky. We had the luxury of this view because there wasn't much lighting in my area. I gave her a back hug. She held on to my hands that were wrapped tightly around her waist. "Yes it's a beautiful night. Having you by my side makes it even more beautiful." I whispered into her ears. Every single word that I say to her reflects my honest feelings for her. "Yes indeed. You make my life beautiful too." Jessica muttered. I thought for a while. It felt like the perfect moment to express my intentions. "Jessica. There's something I must let you know. Something important." My heart started pumping a little harder. Jessica kept quiet. She was waiting for me to continue. "You know how I feel for you don't you? The first time I met Author : Yongel [email protected]

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you I was captivated. I developed a crush on you. Slowly that crush developed into real feelings. These feelings that I had grew deeper and deeper each day. The feelings I have for you can be compared to the roots of a hundred thousand year old tree. The roots are deeply set in the ground, just like how my love for you is deeply rooted. I don't ever think I can fall in love with anyone else." By the time I completed that sentence. My ears were feeling very warm. I could tell that Jessica was about to speak. "No don't speak. Let me finish." I said as I turned her around to look at me. The lower half of our bodies were still pressed together. "I understand that there can be ups and downs and many factors in life that can affect us. We're not the only ones that exist. Yes we have to be considerate to others. It is not only about us. Just like how a tree starts losing its leaves in autumn, stands bare in winter, starts blossoming in spring, and stands strong and filled with leaves in summer. It's perfectly normal for us to experience all that in our relationship with each other. We will not always be happy or always sad. The things we feel may be different at different stages. I understand that the future seems bleak for the both of us...." I looked away for a short while. I had to compose myself. The very thought of having no future with Jessica makes me very emotional. I took a deep breath. "I understand that the future seems bleak for the both of us, Author : Yongel [email protected]

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but I have to make it clear to you. I have to make clear my choice. I am willing to do anything for you. I am willing to die if it means keeping you alive. I am willing to do all that. I am however not willing to ever let you go. I know that this may seem absurd. I am sorry but I have fallen so deeply for you that you have become a part of me. I don't ever think I can handle life without you. You hold me together. Like the roots of a tree hold it to the ground. Regardless of the season the tree stands tall because of the roots. That is what you are to me. The day you leave me would be the day that my heart gets ripped out along with the roots." I saw pain in Jessica's eyes. "I know that whatever I say right now may seem very unreasonable. I am just making my stand clear. I love you. I need you. I want you to always be mine. I am not saying that you cannot leave me. I am just saying that I don't want you to leave me. I have made my choice. I will stand by you no matter what your choice may be. If you decide to leave me at the end of the day, know that I will fight hard to make you stay. I will not force you, but I will put up a strong fight. I want you to be happy and if leaving me will make you happy, I will most definitely let you leave. You don't have to make your choice now. I don't expect an answer from you. I just need you to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I held my hands to her cheek. "You don't have to say it back to me but I'll say it to you all the same." I inched forward and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you."

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Chapter 42 It was winter break. We had a month away from school. Jessica and I shared a beautiful autumn together. Since the day I made my decision clear, everything has been going fine. I was supposed to join my family on a month long trip visiting the whole of asia but I declined. I wanted to spend time with Jessica. She wanted to spend time with me too. She told her parents that I would be visiting and staying over for a month because my family was away. It was the perfect excuse. It was the last day of school. I had already packed up the night before. I was done with my exams yesterday. Jessica was still at her last paper. I was in her room packing on her behalf since she had no time. She would be back in an hours time. Yoona was next door packing too. Yuri and Yoona had decided to go for a short holiday together, after which they would visit each other's hometown. Taengom was sitting on the bed. I picked up the bear. I was thinking whether or not to bring it along. Just then there was knocking on Jessica's room door. I pulled the door open to see Yoona standing there. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She stepped into the room. "Hey Yuri and I will be leaving in half an hour. I'll see you after the break?" Yoona said as she walked towards the study table. She leaned against the table. "Yes we'll see each other after winter break." I nodded. "Anyway since you're visiting Jessica's family for the month do remember to be careful alright? The both of you are too used to being physically close to each other, so be wary of your actions. Some actions are normal between close friends but some aren't so remember to watch your back. I'll want to see you in one piece when school starts." "Silly girl don't worry. I'll be fine." I walked over and gave Yoona a tight hug. "Take care. Send Jessica my regards too. I doubt she'll be back before we leave." "There you are." Yuri said as she walked into the room. She walked towards me and gave me a hug too. "Alright Taeyeon ah we have to go soon. Do take care of yourself and call us at anytime if you need anything. Have a great winter break my dear friend." "I will. The both of you have fun too." I said as I patted both of them on the back. "Ok then we better get going now. Never know how traffic is going to be like." Yuri said as she held on to Yoona's hands. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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They waved to me one last time before heading off to get their luggages. I continued packing. I was more or less done. I returned to my flat and ensured that everything was shut and locked up. I took my bag and returned to Jessica's flat. I sat down on her bed and looked at the bare room. We shared many sweet and painful memories in this room. It was still unknown how things were going to turn out between the both of us ultimately. The doorbell rang. I looked at the time. It should be Jessica. I went to get the door. "How's the paper?" I asked her. "I think I should do fine. If not for your coaching I would probably fail this paper." Jessica said smiling at me. "Alright let's go soon. We have a train to catch." I said as I walked back to Jessica's room. She held my hands as we walked. We got all our stuff. Jessica hugged Taengom. We walked out of the flat together. Before we knew it we were already on the train. It was a six hour train ride back to Jessica's home.

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We settled down comfortably. Taengom still in Jessica's arms. She leaned on my shoulders. "You know that in this one month that you're staying with my family we have got to be extremely careful don't you? I don't want us to end prematurely because of some stupid mistake." Jessica voiced out. "I know. Don't worry we're girls it's not that obvious." I assured her. "Yes but you'll never know. It's always better to be safe than sorry. And be prepared because I'm very different at home." I could tell that Jessica was nervous. "I know. Don't worry baby. Everything will be fine." I said trying to make her feel better. I placed my hands on her lap. "At least Donghae is not going to be around all the time since he is going to be away on a business trip." Jessica said. I was glad his company sent him away at the right time. Jessica and I cuddled throughout the whole train ride. We were very used to physical interactions with each other. Finally we arrived. I grabbed both our bags and we got off the train. It was a habit for me to reach for Jessica's hands. She pulled away. "Kim Taeyeon no touching me from now on." She whispered. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I reluctantly kept my hands to myself. It felt like I was a habitual smoker all my life and now there was a lit cigarette sitting between my lips, but I was not supposed to inhale. That was how bad it felt. That was how much I craved for Jessica. Jessica suddenly smiled in a certain direction. I looked over. I saw this beautiful girl running over and giving Jessica a big hug. She had stark black hair. They started speaking in english. "Hey Sis you're back. I miss you so much! You have no idea how life without you sucked!" The younger girl was very fluent. Lucky for me it was basic english so I understood her words. That must be Krystal, Jessica's only sister. Jessica replied in english. The both of them lived in the states previously before returning to Korea again. "I miss you too. Anyway how's mum doing?" "The usual. Dad's still the usual. Nothing much has changed around here." Krystal replied. I saw that Krystal's face changed the moment she talked about her parents. Her smile most instantly vanished from her face. Jessica held her smile. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Don't worry I'm back." Jessica said as she patted Krystal on the head. Krystal smiled. "I'm glad you are!" She said hugging her sister again. I was standing there all this time concentrating hard. I was trying my best to understand their conversation. I caught on to most of it. Their body language helped me to understand a lot. "Oh and who's this?" Krystal said checking me out with a grin. "Her name is Taeyeon. She's my close friend from University. Her family is away for the month so she's going to stay with us." Jessica explained. I heard my name so I nodded to Krystal and smiled. I took her hands and shook it firmly. "Nice to finally meet you." I said confidently in my native language. "Nice to meet you too." Krystal replied in korean. She smiled really sweetly at me. Krystal turned to Jessica and mumbled a few words. It was too quick for me to catch on to what they said. It was something about waiting for someone. Jessica turned to me and explained the situation. "My cousin is visiting too. We'll wait for her before we head back. My parents will pick us up later. Let's grab a bite while Author : Yongel [email protected]

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waiting." "Ok sure. Let's go." I helped Jessica with her bags. Krystal took her hands and they walked ahead of me. The both of them were really attractive. I wonder if it runs in the family. I was looking forward to spend the entire winter break getting to know Jessica's family. Chapter 43 We arrived at a diner. Many travelers ate there. We sat at a rectangular table. Jessica and Krystal sat on one side and I sat facing them. We looked at the menu. I asked the girls what they wanted. They had no preference. I called for the waitress. I made my order. "Can I have three rolls of Kimbap. Please make sure there are no cucumbers in it. Thanks." The waitress took our drink order as well and left. Krystal looked at Jessica and said something in english. I had a lot of getting used to. I managed to catch on to a few words.

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Something that sounded like 'Close friend, very thoughtful... cucumbers.. even donghae doesn't...' I put two and two together and gathered that she was complimenting my behaviour. Jessica poked at her head and said something back in english. I had no idea what she said. It was tiring to have to try to make out what they were saying. The Kimbap arrived. I checked that there were no cucumbers first before offering it to Jessica and Krystal. Jessica mentioned to me before that Krystal does not like cucumbers too. I sniffed at the Kimbap. "It's a hundred percent free from cucumbers. It's safe to eat." I said pushing the plate towards them. "Thanks unnie." Krystal said smiling at me. I smiled back. After a while of eating and getting to know each other, Krystal's mobile phone rang. She picked up the phone. She spoke in english, again. She mentioned the diner's name. I believe that she was talking to her cousin and telling her where we were. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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We continued eating and talking. Jessica and Krystal were really close to each other. I could tell that Krystal really looked up to Jessica as a sister. "Jessica! Krystal!" I heard a voice squeal excitedly. I looked up from my plate to see a beautiful girl with shoulder length hair. She had beautiful eye smiles. "It's great seeing the both of you again!" Their cousin said excitedly in the language that I was unfamiliar with. "Who's this?" She said pointing at me. "My university schoolmate." Jessica replied. "Hi Nice to meet you. My name is Tiffany." The girl introduced herself to me. They could all speak Korean but they chose to converse in english amongst themselves. I foresaw that I was going to have a hard time fitting in. "Nice to meet you. I'm Taeyeon." I shook Tiffany's hands. Krystal took her phone out and started dialing. "Hey Mum, we're all here. You can pick us up. We're at the diner one block away from the train station." She spoke to her mother in korean. The three of them started chattering away. A few minutes later Krystal got a call. "Alright mum's here. Let's go." She said to no one in particular, but she was speaking in english.

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We grabbed all our belongings and made our way out. Krystal and Tiffany walked on ahead hand in hand. I was walking behind with Jessica. We were not holding hands. I asked her about Tiffany. Jessica explained to me that Tiffany was her mother's sister's daughter. They lived in the states together for a period of time. Tiffany currently went to school in Korea. The rest of her family was still in the states. "I see. Both Krystal and Tiffany are really beautiful. I didn't think that there would be girls as beautiful as you. Your family has good genes." I remarked. "You better not try anything funny Kim Taeyeon." Jessica said shooting me an icy glare. It sent shivers down my spine. She could be really scary when she wanted to. "You know I love only you." I whispered back. A smile appeared on Jessica's face instantly. Krystal and Tiffany stopped at a black sedan. The front door pulled open. A lady whom I supposed is Jessica's mother stepped out. She looked like a really kind lady. I could see that she had developed slight wrinkles that seemed like they were from frowning. She looked slightly haggard. Despite all that she had kind looking eyes.

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I walked over and greeted her instantly. I bowed as I greeted her. Jessica introduced me officially. Tiffany gave her aunt a hug. Everyone was really cheerful. We opened the trunk of the car. I loaded our bags into the back of the car. I saw that Tiffany was struggling with hers. Her bag was exceptionally big. "Here I'll help you." I took her bag and lifted it with ease. Sometimes all it takes is a little science and logic to make things easier. If we hold the right place and support the bag at the right point it takes much less effort to lift. "Thanks!" Tiffany said as she gave me a hug. My instant reflex was to look at Jessica. She mouthed the words, 'you are sleeping alone tonight.' I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't my fault that Tiffany hugged me. We all got into the car. Krystal sat in the front. I sat in the back with Jessica in the middle and Tiffany behind Krystal. I could see Krystal's face in the side mirror. That meant that she could see me too. I was more wary of all these so that I wouldn't make any mistake that would jeopardize my relationship with Jessica. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Their mother started asking me about my own family. I explained to her that they were on a holiday without me and I thanked her for her hospitality and I apologized for the trouble that I would be causing them. I was always good with elders, they loved me. Jessica's mother was no exception. After about half an hour we arrived at a grand looking house. The intricately designed iron gates had a tinge of gold at the right spots and it blended perfectly with the red brick walls that surrounded the property. A three storey house stood tall within the gates. It was a very beautiful house. It was grand. Jessica's father must be a really successful businessman. Jessica's mother drove in and parked the car in the driveway. There was a water feature that beautified the driveway. The house was really amazing. I helped the rest of them to unload our bags from the car. I walked in the front door to be met with a sturdy white door with stained glass lining the sides of the door frame. Jessica's mother unlocked the door and let us all in. It was cold. My jaw dropped when I stepped into the house. It was very luxurious. For one they had a very high ceiling in the living room. It was to the left. There was a fireplace sitting at a cosy corner. There Author : Yongel [email protected]

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was a grey carpet sitting in the middle of the living room. Two three-seater sofa surrounded the carpet. In the front of the door was what seemed like the wall that covered the bottom of the staircase. There were pictures of Jessica's family hanging there. There were even a few of Jessica and Donghae. I saw an unfamiliar face which I suppose was Jessica's dad. He had short hair and he wore a pair of thin metal glasses. He had really thin lips. From the pictures I could tell that he was a very stern man. He held an upright posture in every single picture. He rarely smiled a wide smile. This wall told me a lot. To the right was the dining area. The ceiling was lower than that of the living room. There was a nice chandelier hanging above the table. To the right of the dining area was a doorway, which I suppose to be the entrance to the kitchen. "Come on let's bring our stuff to the rooms." Jessica said. We walked to the dining area and turned left at the end to go up the stairs. The stairs acted as a separator for the dining and living area. As we walked up we could see the living room clearly. The living room had a full height glass wall. It was extremely extravagant and beautiful. When we arrived on the second storey, there were two doors. One of which Jessica told me was her father's study, the second of which was the master bedroom. "Let's meet my father." Jessica said. All of us stood outside the door, Jessica's mother inclusive. Jessica's mother knocked gently on the door.

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"Come in." A firm voice called out. Jessica's mother opened the door and walked in slightly hunched. The girls were all quiet. It was an extreme change. "We're back. This is Jessica's friend from school. Her name is Taeyeon." Jessica's mother introduced me. I bowed and greeted her father. "Good day. Thank you for having me over. I'm sorry for the trouble i'll be causing for these few months." I said politely. Jessica and Krystal greeted their father and Tiffany greeted her uncle. I could tell that they were all quite tensed up. Jessica's father spoke. "I have heard of you from Donghae. It seems like you are a very close friend of my daughter. I understand that you have been taking care of her well. We thank you for that." "Don't mention it. That is what friends are for, to look out for each other when family is away." I replied confidently. Jessica's father nodded. "Ok you girls get going now. Settle down before we have our dinner." With that sentence he resumed whatever he was doing.

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I noticed the pattern. They spoke in english amongst themselves but they spoke to their elders in Korean. We walked up the second flight of stairs to reach the third floor landing. There were three bedroom doors and what seemed like a bathroom door. The first door opened. It was the guest room. It had a queen sized bed in the middle. Similarly there was a full glass window on one wall. Tiffany took that room. The next was the toilet door and after that was Krystal's room. Krystal joined Tiffany in unpacking. The last room was that of Jessica's. The door opened to a spacious room. There was a king sized bed placed in the vicinity of the window. There was a bay window with beautiful cushioned seats. Right beside the door was another door. It peeled open to reveal a walk in wardrobe that led to a big and spacious bathroom. "Wow." was all I could say. We shut her room door behind us. I pinned her against the door in an instant. We started kissing passionately. Every second we had not touching each other made me yearn for her even more. Suddenly we heard the door knob turn. She pushed me away immediately. Lucky for us she was leaning against the door. The door opened. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Krystal poked her head in. "Ouch." Jessica cried out as the door knocked into her back. "Oops. I'm sorry." Krystal said apologetically. "Please knock in future." Jessica said slightly irritated. "Yes sister dear." Krystal said obligingly. "So why are you here?" Jessica questioned. "I just wanted to see if the both of you needed help unpacking." Krystal said innocently. I knew she just wanted to spend time hanging around her sister. "It's ok Krystal we don't need help." Jessica said directly. Krystal sat down on Jessica's bed. "Ok i'll just hang around then." Krystal said laying in bed. I could foresee that having private time with Jessica was going to be no easy feat from now on. It was no longer a given, it was a privilege. Chapter 44 It ended up being the four of us hanging out in Jessica's room. I sat by the bay window. The three of them were sitting on

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Jessica's bed. I looked out the window. I was just enjoying the view from the house. I enjoyed observing my surroundings. The girls were happily chatting and catching up. It sounded like I was in America on holiday. The three of them had a very thick American accent. I could deal with reading english but listening and speaking was a different thing. I was enjoying the view when someone plonked down in front of me. It was Krystal. "Taeyeon unnie are you bored?" Krystal asked looking at me. "Oh no i'm fine. I'm just enjoying the view. It's nice and very soothing." I said with a smile. "You have a month to enjoy this view. You should really join us." Krystal said as she held my hands. She dragged me over to Jessica's bed. Krystal's hands felt similar to Jessica's hands. The both of them had this icy yet gentle way of holding someone's hands. It made me smile. I was not smiling because of Krystal. It was the thought of Jessica and the way she held my hands that brought a smile to my face. Krystal sat me down between Tiffany and herself. Jessica was seated opposite of me. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Krystal happened to see Taengom sitting on the chair. She walked over and picked put the white bear. "This bear is really really cute," Krystal hugged the bear, "can I have it?" I looked at Jessica anticipating her reaction. "I know my bear is cute. It's mine. You can't have it." Jessica reached for Taengom and hugged it tightly. Krystal pouted. Tiffany laughed at the both of them. "The both of you are so old but you're fighting over a bear?" "Awww Krystal don't pout i'll get you one." I said trying to ease up the situation. I could at the same time get into her good books. It was vital for me to garner as many supporters as possible. Krystal cheered up immediately. "Taeyeon unnie is the best!" She pounced onto bed and gave me a big bear hug. I toppled over. "Yaahh! Krystal Jung what do you think you're doing to my friend! Get off her." Jessica said in an authoritative manner. Krystal sat up. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"I'm just thanking her for her kind gesture. Hmph. Unlike your refusal to give me the bear." Krystal said as she moved closer to me. "Silly your sister loves you, she just really likes that bear too." I said speaking up for Jessica. "Did Donghae get that bear for you?" Tiffany asked cheekily. "I'm positive it isn't from Donghae oppa. If it is she would have given it to me already." Krystal said confidently. Just then both Tiffany and Krystal looked at each other. It seemed like they had the same thought flashing into their heads. The turned to Jessica. Tiffany snatched the bear away. Jessica reached forward but Tiffany quickly jumped off the bed. Krystal played a part in blocking Jessica as well. "Who's this bear from?" Tiffany asked slyly. She pushed opened the window and dangled the bear outside. I feared for Little Taengom, but I had to contain myself. A gust of cold wind rushed into the room. I faked a shiver. "Goodness Tiffany it's freezing. Shut the windows." I said as I rubbed my hands together. "Yes Tiffany unnie it's really cold." Krystal joined in.

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Tiffany shut the windows. Taengom was back to safety. Tiffany placed the bear behind her back. "So Jessica time for a confession. Is there someone else?" "Hush don't be so loud. If my father hears us i'm dead meat." Jessica said in a low urgent voice. "So is there really someone else?" Tiffany asked softly. Krystal was also anticipating Jessica's reply. So was I. "Well no there isn't. It's just a bear I really like. Both of you are reading too much into things." Jessica chided Tiffany and Krystal. She snatched the bear back. Poor Taengom. Getting snatched around like that. Poor helpless Taengom. Krystal and Tiffany both turned to me. "You're her closest friend now. Tell us is there anyone else?" The both of them asked while rubbing their hands together in glee. It seemed like they were enjoying themselves. It seemed like Krystal did not fancy Donghae much too. "Well no. There is no other guy except for Donghae in Jessica's life." I chose my words carefully. Krystal frowned.

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"To think that I got all excited because I thought that there was someone new." Jessica poked at Krystal's head again. "Silly. There's only Donghae oppa." Somehow that sentence made my heart quiver. Then came a knock on the door. "Girls time for dinner." It was Jessica's mum. Krystal and Tiffany scrambled off the bed. They left the room first. Jessica placed Taengom on the bed. Jessica left too and I followed behind. All of us sat around the dining table. It seemed like everyone had their own seat. The chair at the end of the table was most probably for Jessica's dad. We all sat down and waited for him. There were footsteps coming from the stairs. He appeared and sat down. "Alright girls let's eat." I thanked Jessica's parents for the food. Everyone started eating quietly. Nobody talked at the dining table. In my family all of us would talk and have fun with each other. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Jessica's family was quite different. I was beginning to understand why she was so fearful of her father. After dinner I helped Jessica's mother to clear the dishes. The rest of the girls helped as well. Jessica's dad was sitting in the living room watching TV. The scene felt vaguely familiar. I helped Jessica's mother to cut some fruits and we brought it to the living room. The news was playing on TV. Everyone sat down quietly and ate the fruits. Just then Jessica's father muttered to himself. "Not good. Not good." "Yes not good at all." I replied him unknowingly. I was too engrossed in the news to realize what I just said. The rest of them all looked at me slightly shocked. It suddenly became quite tense in the living room. "So what are you views on this matter?" Jessica's father asked me. I had no choice but to answer him. I explained the situation in great detail and I added in the implications and certain solutions. The more I talked the more confident I became. I enjoyed Author : Yongel [email protected]

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talking about all this, just that I had no one that shared a similar interest. Jessica's father just nodded in agreement. He ended the conversation off with the following statement. "It is a pity I have no son. You would make a great daughterin-law." I blushed at his compliment. "Thank you." I said to him politely. I noticed that all of them were looking at me in awe. He stood up and returned to his room. Jessica's mother cleared the fruit platter that was now empty. She smiled at me before she left. "Wow that was huge. I've never seen anyone speak to dad like that before." Krystal said to Jessica. "Yes Taeyeon is really smart. Too bad she's not a guy or she'll make good contest against Donghae." Tiffany added on. "Yes and then he wouldn't be all that smug anymore." Krystal said with dissatisfaction. "Now now my dears stop talking about Donghae like that." Jessica stopped the both of them. I did not like that she was defending him, at least that was what it seemed like. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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We all returned to our respective rooms. We shut the door behind us. I wrapped my arms around Jessica's waist. I pulled her towards me. "So is it time to shower now?" I whispered into her ears. She smacked my hands. "Silly it's time for me to shower. You can wait for your turn." I frowned. "Come on don't be like that. We never know who's going to walk in on us. Locking the door would seem too suspicious since I have a walk in wardrobe and a bathroom." What Jessica said made sense but it deprived me. "Oh fine." I said reluctantly. She walked into the walk in wardrobe and shut the door behind her. I sat by the bay window again. The night view was different. It was still beautiful. Just then came a knock on Jessica's room door. Chapter 45 I walked to the door. I pulled it open to see Krystal standing

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there. "Oh hey Krystal. What's up?" "I'm just bored. Tiffany unnie is showering now so I'm waiting for my turn." "I'm waiting for mine too." The both of us laughed. We sat down on the cushioned seats at the bay window. "So how did you meet Jessica unnie?" Krystal asked me. I could see that she was quite curious about me. "Well she's living in the same flat as my childhood friend. That's how we met." I tried my best to keep all my answers simple and as truthful as possible. It was a pain to lie. It would be difficult to remember what you lied about and it would be easy to get found out. I don't believe in lying unless absolutely necessary. "So what do you all do after school? Is it fun to be living on campus?" Krystal was a really inquisitive girl. She was quite different from her sister. She was more vocal and friendly. "Well we hang out. Go shopping or watch movies or eat. It's really nothing much. It's just life without family. That's the only difference. So we have to cook and wash, basically it makes us independent." I explained. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Wow. Sounds complicated. I wonder if I can handle that." Krystal's reaction made me laugh. "Silly it's not that tough. Maybe you should visit some time so you know how it is like." "I sure hope so!" Krystal said excitedly. "You should have joined Donghae when he came down to visit Jessica." I said intentionally. I wanted to find out more about their relationship. "Why would I want to be stuck with him on such a long journey down to Seoul. No way. Plus he wouldn't want me there. I'll only be more trouble to him." Krystal said disgruntled. I wonder if the only person who liked Donghae was Jessica's father. "I see. Is he that bad?" "Yes he is. I don't understand why unnie got with him in the first place. He stinks. I don't even understand why unnie doesn't want to break up with him. So what if dad likes him, it doesn't mean anything. They are just all stupid like this. Mum is like this, Jessica unnie is like this. They all fear Dad too much. I'm just under their control now because I have no financial capability. Once I do it's goodbye." I was shocked at Krystal's outburst. She was quite the rebel girl. "Relax girl you're still young. Of course I know what you mean. All that control can be suffocating." I said truly emphasizing Author : Yongel [email protected]

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with their situation. I have heard enough from Jessica to know how bad it can get. Krystal smiled at me. I saw the slight resemblance to Jessica at that moment. It brought a sweet smile to my face. "I like you already." "Oh well should I thank you?" I said jokingly. Krystal giggled. "You know you're really knowledgeable, charming, humorous, and caring. Even dad likes you. It shows how good you really are. If you were a guy i'm sure dad would make you his son-inlaw." Krystal complimented me shyly. Her compliment took me aback. I wasn't expecting it. Jessica happened to walk out of the bathroom at that point in time. She saved me from an awkward situation. I was tongue tied. She was already dressed. "Krystal what are you doing here?" Krystal stood up. "Oh nothing I'm just waiting for my turn to shower. I think Tiffany unnie should be out by now. Good night!" Krystal said Author : Yongel [email protected]

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as she ran out the door. I was still in a slight state of shock. I never expected myself to be this attractive. If I was not wrong about my judgement, Krystal most probably has a crush on me. Jessica walked towards me. "What was Krystal doing here?" "Oh we were just talking. She said that she was waiting for her turn to shower." "Ok Kim Taeyeon get in the shower now. We have to talk after you get out." Jessica handed me a towel. "Ok." I stood up and headed for the shower. I knew it was not going to be a very pleasant discussion. I was done. I walked out to see Jessica sitting on her bed. When she saw me she crossed her arms. Even if I was no expert at reading body language, I could tell that she was mad at me. I walked towards her. I sat down in front of her. "Ok let's talk. What's it about?" "Kim Taeyeon you're quite the charmer aren't you." That was the first sentence that came out of her mouth. "Am I?" Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"You practically charmed my whole family today." My reply obviously ticked her off. Her tone was not very pleasant. If my guess was right she didn't like it that I was this close to her sister. "Isn't that good? I mean with the exception of Krystal." I said feeling a little guilty. I did not expect her to develop a crush on me. "So you noticed huh. Not that oblivious after all. I should have warned you beforehand. It's partially my fault too." Jessica sighed. "Well I just realized when you stepped out of the shower. I didn't think much of it initially." "Well i'm glad you caught on quickly. Now you better keep your distance or else my father's going to kill you. I will make sure I kill you myself first." "Yes madam. Your wish is my command." I sat up straight and gave her a salute. At least it brought a smile to her face. "So...did I do well today?" I looked at Jessica waiting for her answer. "Well...I have to say you won my father over. It is very rare that someone does and Donghae is one of them. I am sure my mother likes you too. As for Krystal it is pretty obvious that someone charmed her to the bone." Jessica ended off with a Author : Yongel [email protected]

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hint of jealousy. "Just like how I managed to charm you?" I added on with a cheeky grin. "Yaaah yaah Kim Taeyeon don't think too highly of yourself." Jessica poked me in the rib. I returned a poke. We ended up tickling each other and rolling about in bed. The covers were all messed up and the pillows were all over. I pinned Jessica down. I was about to kiss her when someone knocked. It frustrated me. How many times did I have to get interrupted today. We quickly sat up and tidied the bed. Jessica got the door. It was Krystal. Yes. Again. She walked into the room. She was dressed in a baggy t-shirt that probably hid her shorts. I swear I was trying hard not to gawk. Who in the world wore so little in the winter. "Taeyeon Unnie Jessica Unnie shall we catch a movie tomorrow?" "Oh sure I'm cool as long as Jessica is." I picked Taengom up and started fiddling with the bear. It was to distract me from looking at Krystal.

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"Yes sure. Whatever you want my little princess. Now it's getting late. Return to your room and sleep. We can talk tomorrow." Jessica pushed her out of the room. She used the chance to lock the door. Great. Now we had an excuse to lock the door. I love Krystal. Jessica switched on the side light and switched off the main lights. She crawled into bed with me. She kissed me on the lips. Suddenly I felt a sharp bite on my bottom lips. "Now don't think I didn't catch you checking Krystal out when she came in." I gave a guilty smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't help it. The girls in your family are born with a great figure." I wanted to plant another kiss on Jessica's lips but she pulled away. "Maybe you can get Krystal to kiss you then." "Sounds like a great plan." I pretended to get up. "Kim Taeyeon you're sleeping on the floor tonight." Jessica pushed a pillow towards me. "Ok i'll sleep in Krystal's bed tonight. I'm sure she'll welcome me." Jessica was really jealous by then. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She threw little taengom at me. "Take this stupid bear with you too." All this time we were speaking in a low whisper. We could not afford to be heard. When she said the last sentence she raised her voice slightly. I could tell she was really mad by then. I decided to stop teasing her. I picked little taengom up. "I'm sorry little taengom," I patted the bear, "You'll have to sleep with me on the floor tonight." I placed the pillow on the floor. I laid down. "Omo the floor is so cold and hard. But i'll have to do whatever Jessica wants me to do. Remember I promised her that I'll do whatever makes her happy?" I continued to talk to little taengom like he was real. After about a minute Jessica spoke up. "Kim Taeyeon get in bed. I'm feeling cold I need you to warm me." I knew that she couldn't bear for me to lay there on the floor any longer. I dusted the pillow and myself before I crawled into bed with Jessica. I hugged Jessica really close to my body.

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She turned to face me and hit me on the arm. She took my hands and breathed into it warmly. "Silly girl why did you really lay on the floor? Your hands and feet are so cold. Are you mad?" "Yes Jessica Jung. I'm mad. Ever since the day I caught sight of you, never once could I think straight. You rewired my brain. I'm madly in love with you." She kissed me. We kissed. We made out. We did what we did best. Chapter 46 Jessica and I awoke to loud knocking on the door. It startled me. Jessica bolted upright. She was about to get out of bed and open the door. I knew she was not fully awake yet. I reached for her hands and pulled sharply. She looked at me puzzled. I reached for her pajama top and put it on for her. She hugged me and gave me one last kiss on the lips before we appeared as friends. I returned to bed and hugged Jessica's pillow. I pressed my face against it and took a deep breath.

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I missed Jessica already. She opened the door to Krystal's voice. Krystal greeted Jessica good morning in english. She came in and sat down on the bed beside me. "Good morning Taeyeon unnie. It's time to wake up. Let's have breakfast and go for the movie." "Good morning Krystal. Is Tiffany up yet? Why don't you wake her up too." I was pretty sure Krystal came to wake us up before anything else. I was right. "Ok i'll go and get her. Don't laze in bed!" With that Krystal walked out of the room. "She's worse than Yoona or at least comparable." Jessica laughed at my statement. "Welcome to my world." She said. I laughed too. We washed up together. We were just done brushing our teeth then came a knock on the door again. Krystal was one persistent teenager.

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I continued to wash my face. Jessica got the door. "Seriously Krystal. We're in the midst of preparing. Will see you at breakfast." We had a quick shower. We gave each other a quick kiss on the lips and headed downstairs for breakfast. Food was already set on the table. Mr Jung was already done with breakfast. He was sitting at the dining table reading the morning papers. Krystal was already eating. She gave us a wide smile when we came down. I greeted them good morning. Tiffany joined us shortly. Before Mr Jung stood up he told us not too stay out too late. They all agreed obediently. After he left for the office, the atmosphere lightened up immediately. "So what movie are we watching?" Tiffany asked. Krystal quoted a name of a horror movie. "What?!?!" Tiffany exclaimed. "Can't we watch something else??" Tiffany continued. It was evident that horror movies were not Tiffany's cup of tea. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"But I reserved the tickets already. Don't be such a spoilsport." Krystal pouted. Krystal's determination showed. She gave no room for rejection. "Fine if I bite your fingers off due to fear then it's good luck to you." Tiffany threatened. "Well I'll just not sit beside you then." Krystal stuck her tongue out cheekily. All this while Jessica and I just kept silent. We both knew that no matter what Krystal was definitely not going to sit beside me. If we could help it that is. Soon after we were done, we took a bus to the theatre. We sat in the last row. Jessica and I went up first. It was me, Jessica, Krystal and then Tiffany. We planned it such that Krystal couldn't gain access to me. It was not like I didn't have enough trouble on my hands already. If Krystal fell for me I was in deep ****. When we got off the bus, I could sense that Krystal wanted to hold my hands while we walked. I slipped my hands into my jacket pockets. She cleverly hooked onto my arms. I gave Jessica a helpless look. Tiffany held hands with Jessica as they walked. Jessica gave me an icy glare. It probably meant you better do something Author : Yongel [email protected]

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about it. I don't care. Krystal kept asking me questions as we walked. I swear one Jung was more than enough to deal with what more two. "So do you have a boyfriend?" Krystal's question caught me unaware. "Oh no I don't." Krystal grinned. "But there's someone I'm in love with already." I quickly added on. Her grin turned into a look of disappointment instantly. "Oh. So why aren't you together? Does the person not love you?" "Well i'm sure the person likes me but sometimes that's just not good enough. Sometimes things can get a little complex." I explained. "Isn't it as simple as being together or not being together?" Krystal asked naively. She was quite similar to Yoona in character. I laughed. "You remind me of my childhood friend." "I do?" She asked excitedly. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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She was still so child like, it was easy to deflect her from the topic we were talking about. All this time I knew Jessica was listening in. There was no telltale expression on her face. Up till today, Jessica had not said the same words I have mentioned repeatedly to her. I did not want to force her for it. I knew it was not easy for her to face it. I gave her my choice, she had yet to make hers. This was a touchy subject. We refrained from talking about it. We got on day by day. We didn't talk about the future. It was the 'take things as they come' attitude. I guess that was the best she had to offer for now. "Taeyeon unnie what are you thinking of?" Krystal interrupted my thoughts. "Oh i'm just thinking of my childhood friend. I wonder how she's doing now." We finally arrived at the movie theatre. We collected the tickets. When we got the tickets both Jessica and I realized they were couple seats. Two sets of couple seat tickets. We headed to get ourselves drinks. Popcorn in a horror movie was never a good idea. We may just end up with a whole mess of popcorn scattered around our seats. "Jessica what drink do you want? Since we're sitting together we can share a drink." I made a decisive statement to show Author : Yongel [email protected]

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that I was going to sit with Jessica. "Iced tea ok fo.." Before Jessica could complete her sentence, Krystal interrupted. "But I don't want to sit with Tiffany unnie! She threatened to bite my fingers off!" "Yaah you little thing what makes you think I want to sit with you?" Tiffany replied. Jessica and I were stuck. I made the obvious choice. "Tiffany i'll sit with you then. Is iced tea alright?" I asked. "Sure to both." Tiffany replied. I ordered. "Jessica what would you like to drink? Iced tea. How about you Krystal?" Krystal nodded sulkily. I knew perfectly why she was sulking. Jessica knew too. I held the two cups of large drinks. One was for Jessica and Krystal the other was for Tiffany and myself. We entered the theatre. Jessica and Krystal sat down first. Krystal made Jessica sit at the far end. I let Tiffany in first. I handed Jessica the drink before I sat down in my seat.

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I brushed my fingers against hers and gave her a look that said I wish I could sit beside you. I sat down and placed the drink in the cup holder beside me. I leaned back comfortably. The lights dimmed. The movie started playing. Chapter 47 I was apprehensive about sitting beside Tiffany. It was quite obvious that she was scared. The extent of her fear was yet to be shown. This scene totally reminded me of when Jessica made me watch a horror movie with her. Krystal and Jessica were truly sisters. It was funny just thinking about it. Then came an eerie moment. The main character was walking alone. Eerie music was playing. Tiffany grabbed on to my arms immediately. I glanced at the Jung sisters. It was fairly obvious that the both of them were not enjoying themselves. They had to sit through a horror movie, scare themselves and yet not have me by their side. Jessica and Krystal were huddled together. I just sat there and let Tiffany hold my arms.

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There was really nothing much I could do about it. Tiffany had a strong grip for her size. It was either that or she was really very afraid. Before I knew it she was hiding her head in my shoulders. She tugged at my jacket with one hand and held on tight to my arm with the other. I was in an extremely awkward position. I kept my hands to myself. I looked at Jessica. I saw that she was really scared too. Although she was scared, she had both her arms around Krystal. Krystal was hiding her face in Jessica's neck. I stretched my arms and placed it around Tiffany. It seemed that way. I was actually reaching over so that I could hold one of Jessica's hands. The two girls were too scared to notice. I held Jessica's hands firmly. I moved my thumb gently caressing the back of her hands. I hope that my actions made her feel better and less afraid. It seemed like it did. All of us stayed in that position until the movie ended. The credits started rolling and Jessica pulled her hands away. The four of us left the movie theatre.

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When we got out, we went to the bathroom. Krystal and Tiffany went in first. Jessica and I were still in the queue. We were next in line. I held her hands. "Don't. What if they come out and see us." The words barely came out. It was that inaudible. She was quite afraid to be close to me in public. She made it quite clear when we arrived in her hometown. "But I miss holding you." I whispered back. "You just have to get used to it." She pulled her hands away. It frustrated me slightly. It was quite normal for two close female friends to hold hands but she just refused to hold mine. After we were done using the bathroom, we decided to shop around before heading back. Krystal and Tiffany were walking in front. I attempted to hold Jessica's hands. She pulled away again. Once again I was discontented. She was being too uptight about the matter. I gestured that if she refused to hold my hands I would go on ahead and hold Krystal's hands. Jessica dared me to. I walked on ahead. I stood in between the two girls. I talked to them for a bit.

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I turned to look at Jessica. She returned me a look that said 'Go on, do it if you dare.' I hated that she did not want to give in to holding my hands and yet did not want me holding another girl. I was being spiteful for the first time. I swung my hands around hinting Jessica that I would really do it. She showed no willingness to compromise. Instead, she urged me to do it. I swung my hands one last time and grabbed the hand beside me. I could tell that all three of them were surprised at my action. I was holding on to Tiffany's hands. I wasn't that brash. I didn't want to complicate matters with Krystal so naturally I took the next best alternative. I acted normally. Jessica ended up walking beside Krystal. I knew she was Jealous. She was very jealous. After a while it got too scary. I decided to release Tiffany's hands. We had lunch and shopped about for a bit. We ended up passing by a shop that sold soft toys. I remembered my promise to Krystal.

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I saw that Krystal was looking longingly at one of the bears. She gave me a few quick glances as well. I knew she wondered if I remembered my promise. I walked over to Jessica. She ignored me. "Hey Jessica unnie maybe you should get a bear for your dear little sister." I said looking at her. "Aren't you the one who's supposed to get it for Krystal? Why get me involved." Jessica said curtly. She was still mad at me. I placed my arms around Jessica. "Oh come on now my dear Jessica. Let's get Krystal her own bear. Your bear is yours and yours alone. I'm sure you don't want to share it do you? Even if you want to I won't allow it. Krystal deserves her own bear. Come on now be a nice sister." I picked my words carefully. My intention was clearly displayed. It softened Jessica up a little. "Oh fine." Jessica gave in. Krystal picked her bear and the both of us paid for it. I wanted Krystal to know that it was a gift from both of us and not just me alone. Krystal seemed very satisfied when we left the shop. Her bear was white too, but it was way bigger than Jessica's bear. I walked out of the shop first. Just then I felt someone take my hands.

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I turned thinking it was Jessica. It was not. It was Tiffany. For a moment I thought Jessica gave in. I knew better than to be this hopeful. After about fifteen minutes more of walking around, we decided to head home. We boarded the bus and Tiffany ended up sitting beside me. We talked and got to know each other better. I found out that she was very popular with the guys in her school but she was still single. I was curious why but of course I didn't ask. Tiffany and I hit it off pretty well. I was sure we would become great friends once we got to know each other better. Before we knew it, the bus arrived at our destination. We returned home just in time for dinner. After dinner we all returned to our respective rooms. Once we were alone behind closed doors, Jessica gave me the cold shoulder. She went into the shower first. While she was in the shower her phone rang. I saw from the caller display that it was Donghae. The very thought of him irked me. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I went downstairs to get a drink of water. After I was done I headed back up. When I was on the second storey I heard Mr Jung talking. "Oh my future son-in-law how are you doing?" "Good to know." "Jessica? I'll get her to call you back." I knew it was Donghae he was talking to. Every sentence made me cringe. The study door opened. "Taeyeon." Jessica's father called me as I was heading towards the next flight of stairs. I turned. "Yes Mr Jung?" I answered politely. "Is Jessica in the shower? Get her to give Donghae a call when she's done." It sounded like an order for Jessica to call Donghae. "Sure I'll let her know." I agreed but I was reluctant on the inside. I continued upwards. When I entered. Jessica was just done. "Donghae called. Your dad said to return the call." I didn't want Author : Yongel [email protected]

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to be their messenger. It felt like I was allowing their relationship to take place. It was quite a horrible feeling. Jessica thanked me and picked up her phone. She dialed. Donghae must have picked up. They started conversing. I didn't like how she spoke to him. She sounded so gentle. I took my towel and went into the shower. When I came out she was still on the line. I did not know if she was doing it intentionally. After all I did piss her off this afternoon. Perhaps it was her turn to pay me back in my own coin. After a while, Jessica sounded like she was about to put down. Then she paused for a while. She continued with the words, "Me too." It seemed like he was protesting. She was having trouble hanging up. This was the first conversation that I was sitting through. I was curious but yet at the same time it pained me. "Stop being so difficult." Jessica said. He must have said something in return. Then came the words that almost killed me.

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"Love you too. Good night. Bye." The words that I longed to hear finally came out of Jessica's mouth. Alas, it was not meant for me. Chapter 48 I hated that I had to be reminded that Jessica was not mine. I wanted her to be mine. I did not want to share her with Donghae. I had no choice. It was her choice. That phone call made me feel worse. If it was not enough that I had to be deprived of Jessica the entire day, I had to hear her say 'Love you too' to someone else. It sucked to be me. It truly sucked. I was mad. I was boiling inside. I have never felt this way before. I was feeling helpless. I was in a situation that I could not control. So what if her dad likes me. So what if her mum likes me. So what? The fact is I'm a girl. The fact is Jessica is a girl. We were born as girls. I could never win over Donghae in that sense. I could be the best at everything else, but I could never be a guy. I was close to tears. The frustration, the annoyance, it made me extremely emotional. I wanted to punch the wall till my knuckles broke. I wanted to bang my head so hard against the table. I had so much pent up. Who could understand my suffering?

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Sometimes I wish that Jessica could feel my pain. It was a nasty thought to have, but I wish she could understand how it felt to be me. All I wished for was a little more loving. All I wanted was to be close to her. Why could she not grant me a simple hand holding? Why could she not tell me that she loves me. Simple gestures like this could be my painkiller. I bet you hell would seem like fairyland compared to my current pain and suffering. For the first time I felt defeated. I left the room. I did not want to be around Jessica. I was afraid that I would lose control. I was afraid that I would become an uncontrollable mess. I am a rational person. I seldom lose myself. This time I was struggling to keep my senses. It felt like I was in the middle of the ocean. I have been treading water for way too long. It was wearing me out. I had to help myself to another glass of water. It seemed like water was my solace. Every time I was unhappy I turned to drinking a glass of water. I went down to the kitchen again. I downed two glasses of iced water. Yes two glasses of iced water in the winter. You can call me crazy, because I think I am. "Taeyeon? Are you ok?" I heard a gentle voice from behind me. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I placed the glass down on the countertop. The ice cubes clinked against the glass. I turned to see Tiffany standing there in her Pajamas. She walked towards me. She touched my cheeks. She touched my forehead. "Are you ok? You don't look too well." I could tell that Tiffany was genuinely concerned. Even though she did not know what was going on she could tell that something was not right. "I'm fine. I'm just a little upset." I did not know why I said all that. I guess Tiffany just made me feel comfortable around her. "Awww. Cheer up." Tiffany pulled me towards her and gave me a hug. I just wanted to cry at that moment. Even a person I just met was showing me more concern than the girl I was in love with. I returned the hug. It made me feel better. We probably stood there for a minute or so. I pulled away. "Thank you. Thank you for making me feel better." "Don't mention it." Tiffany said with a smile. Her eyes disappeared whenever she smiled. Tiffany held my hands.

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"Come on let's go back up. You can confide in me if you wish. Don't feel obliged to but know that it is an option." She said in a very caring manner. She was a nice girl. Unlike Jessica, Tiffany was more expressive. "Thanks for offering." I knew that I could never tell her about Jessica and I, but I was truly thankful that she offered to lend me a listening ear. We reached the third floor landing. I looked at the door on the far end. I did not want to go in yet. "Hey Tiffany, do you mind if I hang out in your room?" I asked hoping that it was not too obvious that I was avoiding Jessica. "Please you are more than welcomed to. To tell you the truth, I'm still recovering from the horror movie. I was having trouble sleeping." We entered the guest room. This room had a full height glass panel on one wall so it did not have a bay window. I sat down on the bed. I faced the glass panel and looked out at the night scenery. I wanted to just relax and calm myself down. "So do you want to talk about your problem?" Tiffany asked. "Oh no it's fine. I just need some quiet time." I said still staring at the night view outside her window.

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The moon was hidden behind some clouds. The trees outside were bare. It started snowing. Flakes of snow fell against the glass panel. They melted due to the heat from the room. I wonder how long it would take for me to be able to melt Jessica's heart completely. The melting snowflakes acted as an encouragement. With the right amount of heat, anything could melt. I just had to produce enough heat and wait for the correct temperature. Everything had its melting point. I just hope that I don't succumb under the pressure first. I felt better already. "Thanks. I should head back now." I stood up. "Umm. Taeyeon. Do you mind sleeping here tonight? I'm err..scared to sleep alone." Tiffany made her request. I did not see any reason to decline. "Yes I can do that." She gave a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I was going to ask Krystal but since you're here I might as well ask you." "Don't worry about it. Anyway please don't tell anyone i'm upset? I don't like to show that side of me. I hope you understand." I said that with Jessica in mind. "Ok I promise."

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I trust that Tiffany was a person of her word. "Umm let's leave the side light on ok?" Tiffany begged. That was quite hilarious. She was really very afraid. I've never seen anyone more afraid. "Sure thing." The both of us crawled under the covers. Chapter 49 I was in bed with another girl and not Jessica. It was purely innocent. She was afraid and I was just there to accompany her. I had absolutely no feelings for anyone but Jessica. Tonight was one of those nights where I needed time away from her. It was rare that I felt that way. It wasn't just rare, it was the first time. I was close to breaking point. I had one arm supporting the back of my head. I was still staring out at the night sky through the glass panel. "Umm..Taeyeon can we draw the curtains? The bare winter trees are casting weird shadows. It's ummm very scary." It was weird how such a quiet and soothing view to me could appear as something so scary to another.

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I guess it was all a matter of perspective. Everything was a matter of perspective. Even Jessica and I had a different perspective of our relationship. "Ok I'll draw the curtains." I stood up and drew the curtains. The room looked more cosy instantly. I returned to bed. I just stared at the ceiling. I was thinking if I should tell Jessica that I wouldn't be sleeping with her tonight. Somehow I didn't want to. Would she even notice that I did not return to the room? Would she have fallen asleep already. It did not seem like she even bothered to come after me even though she knew I was not feeling good. I could hear the ticking of the clock. It was that quiet. Suddenly the bedroom door burst open. Even I got a shock. Was it Jessica? Tiffany practically jumped out of her skin. She shot over and grabbed me tightly. "Tiffany unnie did you see..." It was Krystal. It seemed like she was asking Tiffany a question. "Oh so there you are Taeyeon unnie." I guess Krystal wanted to ask if Tiffany knew where I was.

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"Oh were you looking for me?" I asked Krystal. "Well yes. I was errr too afraid to sleep alone. I'm suffering the effect of the horror movie. I wanted to sleep with you and Jessica unnie tonight. Unnie wanted me to ask you but she didn't know where you were. We couldn't find you so I got worried. So here I am." Krystal explained. "I see. You can sleep with Jessica if you want. Tiffany is afraid too so i'm accompanying her tonight." "Ummm can I join the both of you? The more people the better." Before we could answer Krystal ran off. I heard her open a room door. "Hey Sis Taeyeon's in Tiffany's bed. I'll join them. Good night." Krystal said in english. After a while Krystal returned with her pillow and her new bear. She placed her pillow beside me. Tiffany was on my right. She scooted over to make room for Krystal. I moved too. We were all skinny but it was still quite a tight fit. It was after all only a queen sized bed. Krystal crawled under the covers. She moved closer to me and hugged her bear tightly. I could tell that she treasured her bear. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I never expected myself to be in bed with two other girls. The both of them were beauties too. How I wish that I could fall for one of the two instead. I knew that if I was in love with any one of them, they would have no qualms about being with me. I was quite sure of that. At least I was sure that Krystal would be with me in an instant. I wasn't so sure about Tiffany. If I was with one of the two, I would not have to bear the pain of watching my girl hook up with some other guy. I knew that such thoughts were wrong but I could not stop my mind from wandering. Those were just thoughts that I would not put into action. Those were just 'What if...' thoughts. Jessica was my only love. I started thinking of Jessica. I started wondering if my current actions would hurt her. She was alone in bed. She knew that I was in bed with Krystal and Tiffany. I wonder if she was feeling mad or jealous. Or did she feel nothing at all? I don't even know if she loves me. She never told me. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I could not tell from her actions too. There was no clear indication. I was feeling more and more unsure of her feelings towards me. Was I just a filler? Was I just there to fill the void that Donghae could not fulfill. Why did she not come after me even though she knew I was upset. Was she still mad at me? I kept awake. There were too many thoughts running through my head. My brain was on overtime. I could not stop thinking. I was staring at the ceiling all this time. I was not conscious of my surroundings until I felt a hand slide onto my tummy. Krystal snuggled up towards me. Her arms were around her bear and on me. She moved her head closer. She was leaning her head against my shoulders. I did not know if she was awake or not. It could possibly be a subconscious move on her part. Even if I wanted to move away I could not. I was sandwiched. Tiffany who was on the other side had her hands placed gently on my arm. I did not realize it was there until now.

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I guess I was too engrossed in my thoughts. I wonder what would happen if Jessica walked in on us now. I wonder how she would react. Would she get insanely jealous? Would she do something spiteful to get back at me? Would she tell me that she loves me and tell me that she's willing to give up everything just to be with me? My thoughts started to get more and more ridiculous. I sighed. If only Jessica were Krystal. If only Krystal were Jessica. But if they were to swap would I even be this much in love? My mind started to slow down. All I heard was the constant ticking of the clock. The sound was hypnotizing. *** I awoke to a glaring stream of sunlight in my face. I peeled open my eyelids unwillingly. I must not have drawn the curtains properly last night. It was so. There was a slight gap in the curtain. I turned to my right. Tiffany was still sleeping. She had her hands on my shoulder. Her cheeks were against her hand.

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I looked down and I saw Krystal's bear sitting at the lower half of the bed. Krystal was hugging me. The way she hugged me was different from the way Jessica hugged me. Krystal's hug had a more compact feeling to it. Jessica's was more mellow. She had very beautiful features just like her sister. The more I looked the more I saw the resemblance between the sisters. Her lips were just like Jessica's. They looked kissable. I couldn't help but stare. The sound of the door opening distracted me. A good thing it did. "Good morning girls. It's time to wake up." It was Jessica's mother. She pulled open the curtains. Both Tiffany and Krystal stirred. Krystal groaned. "Mummm..I want to sleep more..." She positioned herself even more comfortably against me.

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It was awkward. "Come on now sleepyhead don't hinder Taeyeon from getting out of bed." Jessica's mother tapped Krystal on the shoulders. Tiffany was already up. She wished us all good morning. She looked at me and sniggered at the sight. I was awake but I couldn't get up. Krystal was not releasing me. "Now now Krystal wake up." Mrs Jung continued to tap on Krystal. Krystal whined and pulled the covers over her head. She pulled it over my head at the same time. Mrs Jung sighed. "I'm going to get Jessica if you still refuse to get up." I guess that was supposed to be a threat. Krystal threw the covers off immediately. She sat up. She was pouting. Jessica sure was powerful. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I got out of bed. Mrs Jung told us that breakfast was ready and for us to go down once we washed up. She left the room. Krystal greeted me good morning. She greeted Tiffany after she did me. I returned to Jessica's room to wash up. Her room was cold. It probably meant that she woke up pretty early. Her bed was made. I saw that her walk in wardrobe door was closed. I pulled it open. There was no sign of Jessica. I wonder where she was. I wonder how her night was. I washed up and went downstairs shortly. I walked down the stairs to the dining area to see Jessica sitting there with her mother. She was already almost done. "Good morning." She greeted me. I greeted back. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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The tone of her greeting wasn't entirely cold, it wasn't entirely friendly as well. It was just slightly weird. I wonder how she felt without me by her side last night. I would only know when we had time alone with each other. Although, it did feel like she could make do without me. Chapter 50 Tiffany and Krystal joined us at the dining table. It seems like Mr Jung had already left for work. Krystal was sitting beside me. "Morning." Krystal greeted Jessica. "Good morning." Krystal plonked herself in the empty seat beside me. Tiffany sat down beside Jessica. "So did you sleep well last night?" Tiffany asked Jessica. "Yes. At least I had the whole bed to myself." Jessica made it sound like It did not matter if I was sleeping by her side or not. "Well Taeyeon could bunk in with me. I don't mind sharing a

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bed with her. You don't mind too do you Taeyeon? Since you have to share a bed with someone no matter what. This way Jessica can have the bed to herself every night." Tiffany made a genuine offer. "Oh errr..are you sure? Jessica's bed is bigger you know. Hers is a King size and yours is a queen." I tried to salvage the situation. The whole idea of visiting was to spend more time with Jessica. It seems like everything is going haywire. "Mine is a King too! Taeyeon unnie you're welcomed to sleep in my room if you wish." Krystal exclaimed. "I'll just sleep wherever. It really doesn't matter. So what are we doing today?" I said changing the subject. "Let's go ice skating? How does that sound?" Krystal suggested enthusiastically. All of us agreed and we left. When we got on the bus Tiffany sat beside me. I could tell that Krystal was slightly disappointed. Tiffany and I started talking. Like I said we hit it off well.

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When we got off the bus Tiffany held my hands. It seemed like it had become a habit. I was quite conscious of how Jessica was reacting to all this. Her face seemed slightly dark. After a bit of walking we finally arrived. We all put on our skates. I got up and skated freely. It was nice. I enjoyed skating. The rest of the girls got up. Tiffany inched forward and she slipped. She almost fell but I caught her. I wonder if I was this good because of my low center of gravity. "Becareful." I said to Tiffany. "Thank you." Tiffany said shyly. Something was beginning to feel odd. Was TIffany falling for me too? I helped her to her feet. Just then Jessica crashed to the ground.

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"Stupid ice!" Jessica cried out. She was sitting on the ground. Her jeans were all wet. I let go of Tiffany and skated over immediately. Jessica seemed extremely pissed that she fell. I bent slightly to help her up on her two feet. She pulled her hands away once she was standing. Just then I felt a hand on my shoulders. I turned to see that it was Krystal. She too was wobbling. "Does anybody here even skate reasonably well?" I questioned. "Obviously not." Jessica retorted. She spoke as if she had dynamites for breakfast. It was scary. "Taeyeon Unnie can you hold my hands as we skate? I don't want to fall." Krystal made a request that I could not refuse. "Ok but only for a bit. You'll only learn if you not rely so much on someone else." I explained. Krystal took my hands. Again, It felt like that of Jessica's.

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I miss the feel of Jessica in my arms. I miss her touch. I just had to make do with Krystal for now. Not that I wanted Krystal in a romantic way. It was just that sometimes she reminded me of Jessica. We skated around for a bit. Krystal held on to my hands tightly. Tiffany and Jessica were still stumbling around the spot we left them at. Although I was beside Krystal my focus was mainly on Jessica. All of a sudden Krystal yanked at my hands. She slipped. She was going to fall but I caught her. She had one arm around my neck. Both my hands clutched her tightly around her waist. She was pressed tightly against me. Her face was about three inches away from my own. She didn't move. I saw that she was staring at my lips. My face was getting red. I didn't know if it was purely because Krystal was leaning her entire body weight on me. "Umm Krystal. Stand properly or i'm going to fall too." She stood up straight. I saw that she was slightly embarrassed.

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"Come on let's go back to the both of them. They seem to be struggling." I took her hands and we skated back to the clumsy duo. When we got back to them Tiffany said instantly, "Is it my turn now?" "I got to start charging for my services soon." I joked. Krystal suddenly moved towards me and planted a kiss on my cheeks. "Here this is your payment." She giggled. Tiffany planted a kiss on my other cheek. "And here's your payment too. Now take me around." Tiffany beamed. I blushed slightly. Tiffany took my hands. Krystal released her grip. "Wow the both of you sure are leaving me with no choice." I looked at Jessica. She did not seem too happy. Tiffany tugged at my hands. I skated off with her. This was such a contradiction. Jessica was so afraid to be close

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to me for fear of being exposed but her cousin and her sister were all over me. It seemed like they were there to make up for the loss of intimacy with Jessica. After skating around for a bit we returned to Krystal and Jessica. "Ok It's Jessica's turn now." I released Tiffany's hands and reached for Jessica's hands. I was uncertain if she would pull away. She didn't. "So are you going to pay me too?" I teased half hoping that she would. She gave me a look that expressly said don't push it too far Kim Taeyeon. I was disappointed. She was being too prudish about the matter. "If Jessica unnie won't I'll do it." Krystal kissed me lightly on my cheeks again. "Sorry unnie it's my turn again." Krystal pulled my hands away from Jessica's.

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We skated off. All this time I was skating around with Krystal I was thinking of Jessica. I saw a slight hint of pain in her eyes when Krystal came in between us. I felt slightly guilty. When we returned I took Jessica's hands firmly. "Come on let's go. No need for payment given our close relationship." I said hinting that I haven't forgotten about her. I pulled her along not giving her a chance to reject me. She stumbled for a bit. I placed a hand gently on her waist to secure her. We continued on. "You're such a flirt." I knew she was jealous. "Can't help it that I'm attractive." She pulled her hands away and she almost fell. I caught her waist and pulled her towards me.

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"Jessica Jung don't ever attempt that again. I won't let you go so easily." I said those words with every intention to let her know that I was not going to let her go back to Donghae that easily. In that moment I saw a look in her eyes that I have never seen before. Chapter 51 [Timeline - One week Later] We were all watching TV in the living room. Tiffany was leaning against my shoulders and Krystal had her head on my lap. We have all grown closer over the week. It became typical for them to be physically close to me. I could not control their actions even though Jessica was unhappy about it. All this was out of my control. Just like how Donghae acted around her wasn't within her control. Jessica was sitting alone with her arms crossed. The doorbell rang. "Krystal get the door." Jessica commanded. Krystal grumbled but she stood up and got the door.

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I knew that it was Jessica's intention to get Krystal away from me. Krystal returned to the living room with a bouquet of roses. "It's for you. You should have opened the door instead of asking me to." Krystal thrust the bouquet moodily at Jessica. Krystal returned to my side. She placed her head on my lap again. "Who are the flowers from? Donghae?" Tiffany asked. "I don't know." Jessica replied. She took out the card that came with the roses. Her facial expression said it all as she read the contents of the card. She was smiling very sweetly. "Wow someone really looks like she's in love." Tiffany teased. Jessica blushed. Krystal had her head cocked towards Jessica. "Whatever." Jessica replied shyly. Krystal jumped up and snatched the card away.

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She read it out loud. "To my dearest princess Jessica Jung. As much as I can't constantly be by your side know that I only have eyes for you. From the one who loves you deeply." I hid a smile. I already knew what was written on that card because I was the one who ordered the flowers. I had to do it. Jessica and I rarely had anytime together now. Tiffany and Krystal were monopolizing time with me as much as they could. It was like a Jessica, Tiffany, Krystal Oligopoly. Well but in fact It was actually more of Tiffany, Krystal Duopoly. I did not want Jessica to think that she was any less important now. I had to make sure of that. I'm sure Jessica knew it was from me too. Donghae would never be so romantic and sweet to her. After all who would be so secretive asides from me. "Doesn't seem like it's from Donghae. Is it?" Krystal asked Jessica with raised brows. "Who else can it be from?" Jessica replied with another question. It was a good technique to not answer a question; the best way to avoid a direct answer is to return another question. "How would I know?" Krystal rolled her eyes.

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"Precisely." Jessica ended with that. She made for the stairs. She was probably returning to her room to keep the flowers away. "Since when did Donghae oppa become so sweet to unnie." Krystal voiced her honest opinion. "Maybe the long time apart has made him learn to treasure her more?" Tiffany speculated. I knew that nothing much has changed between the both of them. The doorbell rang again. We all turned towards the door. This time I was puzzled at who it was as well. Krystal got the door again. She pulled open the door to reveal Donghae. "Hi Krystal." He patted her on the head. "Hi." Krystal replied and walked away. "Oh hey Taeyeon it's been a while! How's Yoona doing? Why aren't you with her?"

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He asked as he shook my hands. "Oh Yoona is fine. She's on a holiday, so is my family. That's why i'm here." "I see." He greeted Tiffany as well. "So where's Jessica?" He asked. Nobody replied him. "Oh umm I think she's in her room?" I answered. He left and walked up the stairs. "Speak of the devil." Krystal said to us softly. Indeed. Speak of the devil. Hell is here once again. "He was supposed to be away for the entire month. I wonder what he's doing back here." Krystal puzzled. "Yeah let's find out." I started walking towards the stairs. The both of them followed as well. I was curious. Why did he return early. What was his purpose? The three of us started sneaking up the stairs quietly.

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When we arrived on the third story, we hid on the steps and peeped through the railings. Donghae was standing in front of Jessica's room door. It was dark. No lights were switched on. There was an orange glow coming from under Jessica's room door. Jessica happened to pull open the door. She got a shock. I mean who wouldn't if they suddenly pulled the door open to see a figure standing there. He hugged her. "Sorry baby didn't mean to scare you." He apologized. Jessica's expression was still that of shock. I guess she never expected him to be back so soon. Nobody did. He pulled back. "Aren't you happy to see me?" He asked. "I'm just surprised. So why are you back? I thought you were not going to be around the entire winter?" Jessica questioned. She was still in shock. "Well I specifically asked for a few days away from work so

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that I can fly back to see you." "What's the hurry. It's not like we won't be seeing each other for a long time." "This is the reason why." Donghae replied. We were all puzzled. We did not know what he meant until he reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a red velvet box. He opened the box, I saw a shimmer. It was a diamond ring. "Jessica marry me." He slipped the ring on her ring finger. "Oh my god." Both Tiffany and Krystal said at the same time. I was lost for words. The time was here. My feet were rooted to the steps. My world was spinning. I was anticipating Jessica's reply.

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Jessica was just standing there, ring on her finger. It was too sudden. Too sudden for her, too sudden for me. She moved forward. She hugged him. My heart split. Chapter 52 Jessica's perspective [Timeline one week before - the night Donghae called] I just got off the phone with Donghae. Taeyeon walked out of the room. I was apprehensive of saying those words to him. I was concerned that Taeyeon would get hurt. He left me no choice, he would not hang up if I did not say those words to him. I said it in her presence. I knew it got her upset. I wanted to spite her initially by talking to Donghae so sweetly Author : Yongel [email protected]

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over the phone. Although, saying those words were never my intention; it was too hurtful. She has been very close to Tiffany and Krystal since she arrived. They were all too close to Taeyeon for comfort. Each time they touched her, i felt immense jealousy. Today made it especially worse. She was holding hands with Tiffany most of the time. The hands that only held my hands the past few months were holding another girl's hands. It did not help that Krystal was all over her too. It was a terrible feeling. I was mad at her. She knew that I was in a difficult position but she still insisted on holding my hands. I could not allow even the slightest chance for us to get exposed. I had to control myself. I wanted to hold her too. I just could not. I hated that she held their hands. I knew that I went overboard this time. I saw the pain in her eyes as she left. I decided to go after her after a while. I saw a figure walk down the stairs. I followed.

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When I arrived at the dining area I heard voices. It sounded like Taeyeon was not alone. I peered into the kitchen. I saw Tiffany and Taeyeon hugging. It pained me to see her hug another girl. Was she falling for Tiffany? My heart felt like it was being squashed. The sight was unbearable. I returned to my room. I could not take another second of watching them. I wanted to just grab Taeyeon and leave home. If only I could. I could never leave mum and Krystal behind. Dad would hunt me down, life would be hell for mum. I remember when Krystal made her mistake. Dad walked in on Krystal kissing her schoolmate, it was a girl. Dad gave mum a hell of a lashing and he made sure that Krystal's schoolmate got expelled. That was a rough patch. When dad got mad, he got violent. I feared what he would do to Taeyeon if he found out. I could never allow that. I love her too much.

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She is smart and capable, she has great future ahead, I would never forgive myself if dad ruined her life because of me. Dad was capable of anything, he was influential enough. I sat on my bed waiting for Taeyeon to return. I wanted to apologize to her. The door opened. I looked up. It was Krystal? Was Taeyeon still with Tiffany. What were they doing? "Yes Krystal?" I asked. "Where's Taeyeon? Can I sleep with the both of you tonight? I'm scared." I took the opportunity to make Krystal look for Taeyeon. "I don't know maybe you can ask her instead?" "Where is she?" "I don't know. Somewhere in the house?" Krystal went out the door immediately and started searching

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high and low. She returned after five minutes. "Sis I can't find Taeyeon." "Well have you tried Tiffany's room?" That was the likeliest place although I hope that she was not there. "No I haven't. I'll try." With that Krystal left the room. She came back in shortly. "Hey Sis Taeyeon's in Tiffany's bed. I'll join them. Good night." Tiffany's bed? What was Taeyeon doing there? What were they doing before Krystal opened the door. I was all torn up. I lay in bed upset. My tears started flowing uncontrollably. I was both upset and angry. Taeyeon was intending to sleep with Tiffany tonight. She did not even bother to tell me. And now Krystal was going to join them. I don't know whether

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to feel more relief or not. Taengom was sitting beside me. I took Taengom and threw it on the floor. Stupid Kim Taeyeon. My tears continued flowing. I was in so much pain. Why did she have to do this to me. I lay back down in bed and tried to sleep. Scenes from the movie started flashing in my head, scenes of Taeyeon and Tiffany hugging flashed into my head. I was both scared and very very upset. Does Taeyeon not know that I'm afraid too. I got off the bed and picked Taengom up. I held Taengom tightly against my chest. "Kim Taeyeon come back to me." I whispered in between tears. I tried to sleep with no avail. I was constantly hoping that Taeyeon would return to my side in the middle of the night. I waited an hour. Two hours. Three hours. Five hours. Six hours.

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Taeyeon never came back. She left me all alone in the cold and dark room. The skies were getting brighter. I wiped my tears and washed my face. I went over to Tiffany's room. I quietly pulled open the door. I peeped into the room. The side light was switched on. The curtains were completely drawn. I saw Tiffany leaning against Taeyeon's right shoulder. Krystal was practically hugging Taeyeon like a koala held on to a tree. They were locked in an intimate embrace. My heart practically shattered. I finally understand how Taeyeon felt when Donghae visited. The feeling sucked. I had trouble controlling my tears. They started flowing again. Taeyeon was such a pimp. One moment she kept telling me how much she loves me and now here she is enjoying the warmth of two girls.

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I had the urge to pull her out of bed. I knew I could not do that so instead I walked over to the curtains. I pulled them slightly apart so that the sunlight would shine on Taeyeon's face. I was sure that would wake her up. I left the room heartbroken. I had not been able to sleep the entire night. I freshened up and made my bed. I headed downstairs for breakfast. Dad had already left for work. I poked at my breakfast moodily. Mum sat at the dining table with me. "Jessica why are you here alone? Where are the rest?" Mum asked sounding slightly concerned. "The three of them are asleep in Tiffany's bed." I answered monotonously. "In Tiffany's bed??"

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"Yes. Mum you should get Krystal. I think it's better if she stays away from Taeyeon. She's getting too close and I'm sure one of those episodes from before is more than enough." I hinted. My mother stood up. "Ok dear. I'll go and get them to wake up. Have your breakfast." Mum patted me on the back. I was thankful that I have such a loving mother. After about five minutes mum came back down and joined me at the dining table. Taeyeon came down shortly after. When I saw her I felt happy and unhappy at the same time. "Good morning" My emotions showed in my morning greeting to Taeyeon. She returned the greeting and sat down away from me. That pained me more. A night away from her was already unbearable. Now she did not even want to sit beside me. I held back my tears. i had to compose myself.

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Chapter 53 [Timeline - The night Donghae proposed] The three of us were still standing on the steps. Jessica was still in Donghae's arms. "What are you girls doing?" A deep voice boomed from behind us. I was too affected by the scene that I just witnessed to say anything. Mr Jung walked up the stairs. He saw Donghae and Jessica. "Oh Hey Donghae! You're here. So did you do it yet?" Mr Jung stood at the third storey landing. Donghae held Jessica's hands and they walked over to Mr Jung. Donghae held out Jessica's hands to show Mr Jung the ring that was just slipped onto her fingers. I looked at Jessica. She caught my gaze and then quickly looked away. "So when are you heading back my dear son-in-law?" "I'm going to stay for two more days. I'll be flying off after that."

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"Good to know. Don't work too hard. Have fun with Jessica in this two days. We should have a celebratory lunch tomorrow." Mr Jung said heartily. All this time I was still in a daze. Was this real? Was it happening? "Is it ok if I stay over tonight?" Donghae asked Mr Jung for his permission. "Go ahead my boy, spend as much time as you can with Jessica. The both of you barely have any time together." Mr Jung slapped Donghae on the back in approval and made his way down the stairs. Donghae was beaming. "Good night ladies." Donghae said to the three of us before dragging Jessica back to her room. I wanted to protest. I wanted to stop Donghae. I was not ready to lose Jessica just like that. I knew that acting on impulse will not change the situation. I ended up just standing there and watching Jessica walk into the room with Donghae. "Holy crap! Somebody stop him! I don't want him to become part of my family." Krystal said with intense dislike. She sat on the steps and clutched her head. Krystal looked up at me pleading. "Taeyeon unnie are you sure that Jessica unnie does not have Author : Yongel [email protected]

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another lover? If she has that person better step out now and try to impress my father. I rather she be with anyone else in the world asides from that stupid freak Donghae." Tiffany dragged both Krystal and I up the stairs and into her room. "Come on this conversation should not take place in such an open area. It's best we stay away from trouble at this point in time." Tiffany said sensibly. Tiffany was dragging a zombie and a hot headed young girl. Krystal started pacing the length of the room. I sat down on the bed. I was feeling dizzy. "Taeyeon unnie. So tell me honestly is there anyone else? Please. I beg you. I hate Donghae." Krystal urged me for an answer. I shut my eyes. I was overwhelmed. I had to make a decision. I had to do something. "Taeyeon unnie Please!" Krystal started shaking my shoulders. "Krystal stop." Tiffany instructed. Tiffany walked over and placed her hands gently on my shoulders. "Taeyeon are you ok? I'm sure you know something. If you do please do the right thing." Tiffany said in a very firm voice.

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My head felt like it was going to explode. "Girls. Stop. I can't do this now." I stood up. I went to Jessica's room. I knocked on the door. Jessica opened the door. I walked into the room. I went into the walk in wardrobe. I did not speak a single word. I took my jacket. I left the room. Krystal and Tiffany were standing outside. I ignored them. I walked down the stairs and out the main door. I kept walking. I walked along the driveway and out the main gate. I let my feet do the job. I had no idea where I was heading. I ended up sitting on a bench along the street. I knew that this would happen sooner of later, I just never expected it to be this soon. I was trying to calm myself down and handle the situation in a more level headed manner.

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If I stayed in there any longer I would probably have just entered Jessica's room and dragged her out. The thing that kept nagging at me right now was whether Jessica loved Donghae or me. If she was in love with Donghae, I would willingly step aside. If she was in love with me, I would do whatever it takes to take her away from him. Her actions confuse me. Right now I still stand a chance. All I had to do was to ask her for her honest feelings. Her answer will determine my actions. It was a cold night. I was beginning to lose feeling in my cheeks and my fingers. I started walking back to her house. It took me a while to find my way back. When I arrived back at the house. I saw that Krystal and Tiffany were just stepping out the main door. When Krystal saw me she ran over and gave me a big bear hug. "I'm sorry Taeyeon unnie. I didn't mean to be rude just now. I didn't mean to force you. Please don't walk out like that again. I was worried." Krystal sounded like she was going to cry.

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"Yes Taeyeon don't do that. We got worried. Even Jessica got worried." Tiffany added on. "I'm sorry. I was just overwhelmed." I explained. "I'm sorry." Krystal hugged me even tighter. "Krystal please don't do this." I took her hands away and freed myself. She took a step back, confused. "Where's Jessica?" I asked. Just then Jessica appeared in the doorway. I moved forward and took her wrist. "Jessica, we need to talk." I led her down the driveway. She followed. We left the grounds. We were at a park about ten minutes away from her place. I stopped. I turned to face her. "Jessica tell me honestly. Do you have feelings for Donghae? Are you really going to accept his proposal?" I looked at her sincerely waiting for her answer. She returned a look.

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I looked into her eyes. It was filled with uncertainty. Chapter 54 [Timeline - The day after Donghae's proposal] I was seated in the backseat with Tiffany. Krystal was sitting in the passenger seat and Mrs Jung was driving. We were heading to a restaurant to celebrate Jessica's engagement to Donghae. If I had a choice, I would definitely make myself scarce. If I did that, it would have been too obvious. After all to Donghae and Jessica's parents, I'm supposed to be Jessica's best friend. As her best friend I was supposed to be happy for her, but naturally I was feeling the exact opposite because I was more than just a friend. Again, my dejectedness and despondency should not show. The mood in the car was slightly heavy. Every single one of us in the car were not our usual perky self. We were all very quiet. Krystal looked quite upset. Perhaps it was because of the double blow she received.

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Tiffany and Krystal were both let on to the situation the night before. They knew of the relationship I had with Jessica. Jessica and I told them. Mrs Jung was not her usual self as well. The moment she realized that Donghae proposed to Jessica there seemed to be a constant unsettling frown on her face. Unlike Mr Jung, it seemed like she did not approve very much of the engagement. Jessica, Donghae and Mr Jung were traveling in the car ahead. I had a talk with Jessica the night before. She made her choice and I made mine. It was a complicated situation. There was no better alternative asides from the one that we agreed upon last night. The car pulled to a stop. We got out. I saw Donghae and Jessica walk hand in hand beside Mr Jung. It hurt badly. I felt someone squeeze my hands gently. It was Tiffany. She knew that it was difficult for me to witness the scene before my eyes. I appreciated her care and concern. It was consoling. The three of them walked on ahead while the four of us trailed Author : Yongel [email protected]

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behind. We were about two meters behind. Tiffany was still holding my hands where as Krystal was holding on to her mother's hands. I was still fixated on Jessica and Donghae. Donghae was smiling and chatting to Mr Jung. Both of them seemed to be enjoying themselves. I suddenly got distracted by a yell. I focused and turned to where the sound came from. I was shocked at what I saw. There was a middle aged man with greying sideburns holding Mrs Jung and Krystal at knife point. He had his right arm clasped tightly around their necks and he alternated the knife at their throats. He seemed slightly disoriented. He was a nervous wreck. "Don't the both of you dare to escape or I'll take your lives! Mark my words! I have nothing to lose i'll kill all of you Jungs even if it means losing my own life!" His hands were trembling and he was very agitated. Krystal was crying and Mrs Jung was obviously petrified as well. "YOU CRUEL UNFEELING MONSTER! YOU TOOK MY FAMILY AWAY! I'M GOING TO DO THE SAME TO YOURS!!!" He started shouting in the direction of Mr Jung. By then Mr Jung and the couple were already aware of the situation. "What are you talking about! Your wife took her own life along with the life of your child. You can blame her for her own Author : Yongel [email protected]

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insanity!" Mr Jung retorted violently. The man got even more agitated. I saw pure rage in his eyes. I turned and shoved Mr Jung hard. He fell on the ground. It seems like he sprained his ankle during the fall. "YOU MONSTER! HE'S PERFECTLY RIGHT IN CALLING YOU THAT!" I shouted at Mr Jung. I must have seemed like a crazy person at that point in time. I turned to the man. "Sir, I'm afraid you've gotten the wrong people hostage. This man here he doesn't care about the both of them! You have no idea how the both of them suffer at his hands every day! They are victims too!" I said the words with utmost conviction. The man looked lost for a moment. Firstly I knew he was shocked by my sudden outburst. Secondly it seemed like he was trying to make sense of what I just said. "This man here!" I pointed at Mr Jung, "He doesn't give two hoots about the both of them! He only loves his dearest Son-inlaw and his perfect daughter who's standing right there beside him!" If there's anyone you should take away from him it would be the two of them!" I pointed at Jessica and Donghae. I saw that Donghae started panicking and he moved further back. He stumbled over his own feet and he got up quickly still backing away. "Yes take me hostage, don't take my sister or my mother." Jessica begged. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Shut up! It's not your place to talk! He calls the shot here!" I chided Jessica. "Yes I call the shots!" The man retorted. I could tell that he was slowly getting influenced by me. "He can decide if he wants to take Donghae the dear son-inlaw that will take over the business or the useless pretty daughter of the Jung family hostage! If he takes the son-in-law there's nobody to continue the family business! Why should he take you first?" I continued shouting. "Yes why should I!" The man started singing in the same tune as me. "Taeyeon are you mad!" Mr Jung shouted at me. "Shut up! You are in no position to talk!" I exclaimed nastily. "YES! SHUT UP!" The man got agitated again. He got emotionally volatile every time Mr Jung talked. His grip tightened around his knife. I walked towards Donghae and grabbed him by the collar. "I'll get him for you and bring him to you." I told the man. I wanted to gain his trust. Donghae struggled and started running away. "Oh my it appears that the great Mr Jung has a wuss of a sonin-law. It's ok we still have his favorite daughter." I turned and grabbed Jessica by the back. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"I'll hold on to her. You can stab her in front of Mr Jung's eyes. Let him feel the pain of losing someone so dear to him!" Again the man listened. He released Mrs Jung but still held on to Krystal as a precaution. He started walking towards Jessica and I. By this time there were a few bystanders watching from a safe distance. Jessica started struggling. "Taeyeon ah what are you doing?" "Keep quiet." I replied. The man was standing in close proximity. He pulled back his left arm. "THIS IS FOR MY WIFE!" He thrust his arm forward. I shoved Jessica aside with all my might. I smiled as the knife entered my body. My plan was successful. Jessica loved her mother and Krystal. I could never allow anything to happen to them. I knew that would upset Jessica greatly. He got a shock. He released his grip on the handle. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Krystal pulled away from the man. I held on to the handle of the knife to refrain him from gaining hold of the weapon again. Some male bystanders ran over and pinned the man to the ground. By then I was already laying on the ground. The pain in my abdomen was excruciating. I shut my eyes tightly. I grit my teeth. I felt faint. There was a lot of commotion. I could hear shouting. Someone held me close. It was a familiar touch. I would recognize it anywhere. I opened my eyes and saw Jessica's face. She was crying. "Don't..cry..I...love..you..always..." My vision started blurring. I blacked out. Chapter 55 [Timeline The night Donghae proposed - Continued from Chapter 53]

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I stood there waiting for an answer from Jessica. I just needed to hear it from her. It did not matter if it would hurt me or not. My pain was irrelevant in this situation. I would do whatever she wanted me to. All I needed was to hear the words. I needed to know what she really wanted. Jessica took my hands. She led me to a bench. She sat me down tenderly. She held both my hands. She leaned on my shoulders. "I don't want to marry him." Jessica sighed. "You know how I feel. You know why i'm doing what I'm doing." Jessica continued softly. I kept silent all this while. "If I could I would spend my lifetime with you." She paused. I could sense a 'but' coming up soon. "I have no choice. There is too much at stake." She ended her sentence without giving me a direct answer. "So that means you're going to choose to marry him isn't it?" I turned her by her shoulders and asked her while looking Author : Yongel [email protected]

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straight in her eyes. She avoided eye contact. She nodded. I hugged her. I saw how difficult it was for her. "It's ok. I understand. You made it clear when we got together. I still have to say this though. I love you and i'll always be here if you ever change your mind. Know that i'll be willing to take you away from him any day." I made my point clear. She nodded and held me tighter. I could feel her warm tears fall on my shoulders. I pulled back and wiped her tears gently with my thumb. "Silly girl. I'm not even crying why should you. I'm not going anywhere." I tried consoling her. I gave her a peck on the lips. The peck translated into a passionate kiss. It had been a while since we kissed. The kiss consumed us. We could not stop. "Krystal! Wait! Krystal!"

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The both of us pulled apart when we heard Tiffany's voice. I stood up quickly and ran after Krystal. I knew I had to stop her before the situation got out of control. Jessica was running after Krystal as well. I got to Krystal first. I pulled on her hands. "Krystal stop." Krystal was tearing. We all knew why. "Krystal. I'm sorry i didn't tell you earlier. I was just afraid that dad will find out and he'll take it out on mum again. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about." Jessica tried explaining. "But you should have told me! Then I wouldn't have...." Krystal looked at me and then looked away again. She trailed off. "I'm sorry we did not tell you. We just had to be extra careful. The lesser people knew the more well kept the secret would be. Anyway your sister has accepted the proposal. You can take it that nothing has ever happened between Jessica and I." I said in a calm and firm voice. "Do you love each other?" Krystal asked me. "I love your sister but we can't be together." "Why not?? Just take her away. Be together. Why let her marry Donghae?" Krystal protested. "Krystal ah. I love you and mum too much. I can't be selfish." Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Jessica looked at me with sorrowful eyes at the end of her sentence. "Yes Krystal. Your sister is doing everything out of love for the both of you. Don't blame her for not telling. I on the other hand love her so much that I don't mind just loving her silently. We don't have to be together to love each other." I added on. Krystal pulled Jessica towards her and gave her a big hug. Krystal's tears flowed again. I guess she had mixed feelings. "Ok let's go back soon before anyone suspects anything is going on." I said rationally. The sisters wiped their tears and walked together hand in hand. Tiffany just walked beside me. I could see that she was upset too, just that she didn't show it as much as Krystal. We arrived back at home and Jessica returned to Donghae. Tiffany, Krystal, and I returned to Tiffany's room. They asked me about Jessica and I. I told them more. At the end of the night, both of them were well aware of our relationship and the things we had to endure. By the time I was done with the story, I saw pity in both their eyes. I knew that they sympathized with me.

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I also saw disappointment. They knew that I was truly in love with Jessica. *** [Timeline The night Donghae proposed - Continued from Chapter 51] Jessica's Perspective Taeyeon had just sent me flowers. I knew it was from her. She was such a sweet lover. I was just putting the flowers away in a vase when I heard a knock on my room door. I pulled open the door. The person I least expected to see stood in front of me. I did not want him around. I could not hide the surprise on my face. It was a nasty shock. Donghae hugged me and apologized for scaring me. He asked if I was happy to see him. I was most definitely not happy at all. I questioned him of his presence. Before I knew it he whipped a red velvet box out of his pocket. "Jessica marry me." He said the words that I wanted to only hear from Taeyeon and no other. He slipped the ring on my finger. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I stood there still in shock. It was one shock after another. It was too sudden. I knew that I could not accept his proposal. I was not ready to leave Taeyeon yet. I could not bear to. I was too accustomed to life with her. I had to let Donghae down slowly. I was prepared to reject the proposal. I hugged him. It was a hug to cushion the impact of the rejection that followed. I was about to apologize to him and reject the proposal when I heard my father's voice. "What are you girls doing?" Was Taeyeon here? Did she witness the scene? "Oh Hey Donghae! You're here. So did you do it yet?" Donghae told him? Now that my father knew everything changed. It was almost impossible to reject Donghae without reason. Donghae dragged me to the landing by the stairs I saw the three girls. Donghae showed my father the ring that was slipped onto my finger.

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Taeyeon, Krystal and Tiffany were in view. My eyes met Taeyeon's eyes. I quickly looked away. I was part guilty and part afraid that people would catch us looking at each other. I felt bad that I was going to allow the engagement to proceed. It feels like I have done Taeyeon wrong. It feels like I have betrayed her love for me. I know I have. It was not my plan to. I did not want to. But I have betrayed her. Chapter 56 I opened my eyes. Light pierced my eyes. It was too bright. I shut my eyes. I blinked a few times. I wanted to move my hands to shade my eyes. I couldn't move it. Something was resting on my hands. I looked down. I saw a figure resting by my side. Her hands were on mine.

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I could not see well. I blinked a few more times. My eyes slowly getting accustomed to the light. There was still a throbbing ache in my abdomen where the knife penetrated. My lips felt dry. I was thirsty. I must have been in a coma for a while. I wanted to call out to the person who was laying there beside me. "Jes..sic..a?" My voice came out a hoarse squeak. It was barely audible. The person stirred. "Taeyeon you're awake!" She exclaimed. My eye focused on her face. It was not Jessica? I wanted to talk but my throat was too dry. I tried to clear my throat. "You must be thirsty after being out for so long. I'll get you water." She poured me a glass of water. She adjusted my bed position slightly.

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My abdomen hurt as the bed tilted slightly to a 45 degree angle. My face contorted in pain. "Are you ok?" She ran over and placed a hand gently on mine. I nodded. The pain was not as bad as when I first saw Donghae and Jessica together. This pain was bearable. She placed the glass to my lips. I sipped. The water tasted refreshing. I drank a little more. My throat felt better now. I thanked her. She set the glass down on the table beside me. I looked around. I was in a top notch ward. There were quite a few medical equipment by my bed. Mr Jung must have paid for it. How else would I be in here? I was about to ask where Jessica was when I heard a familiar voice outside the door. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Clumsy hurry up! I'm worried sick!" "You are speaking as if I'm not!" "Come on miss impatient, it's this room stop walking so far ahead." The door opened. I saw Yuri clutching a basket of fruits. It seemed like she had dropped it and placed everything back in a hurry. Yoona pushed in from behind her. She ran over to me. "Taeyeon ah what's wrong with you you stupid idiotic pig." Yoona hit my shoulders. The movement was too great. I winced in pain. "Im Yoona are you trying to kill her?" Yuri chided. Yoona's expression changed to that of a soft apologetic look. "I'm sorry did it hurt?" She placed her hands gently over my abdomen. "It's ok. It's not that bad." I replied. I did not want her to feel bad. "Then maybe I should do it again." Yoona raised her hands.

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I squeezed my eyes shut and braised for the pain. "Stop acting like a hero Kim Taeyeon! You hurt to you know. You are only human just like all of us. Fancy you trying to act all heroic and get stabbed! What in the world were you thinking. I was halfway around the world and suddenly I received a text from Jessica saying you got stabbed. Do you know how worried the both of us were? We practically rushed to the airport in the midst of our holiday and took the next flight back. " Yoona continued chiding me. "Well I'm glad I have such great friends. You know i'd gladly get stabbed in your place too don't you?" Yoona softened up at my sentence. "Oh quit being silly. You're the silliest best friend I've ever had." She said holding my hands. "So what exactly happened? Jessica only told us that you got stabbed in her place because of some mad man and which hospital you were in." Yuri asked curious. "Well this man he blamed Jessica's father for causing his wife's death. He held Jessica's mother and sister hostage. He threatened to kill them. I could not allow that to happen. Jessica loves them a lot. If anything happened to them she would be devastated. After all she was only agreeing to Donghae's proposal only because of the both of them." I explained. I paused for a while. Even talking was slightly strenuous on my body. The wound was constantly throbbing in pain. "What Donghae proposed? Already? My goodness. No wonder you had a death wish." Yoona said sarcastically. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Don't interrupt. Let her continue." Yuri scolded Yoona. Yoona pouted at her. Yuri walked over and hugged her from behind. "Go on." Yuri said looking at me. "Yes he proposed and we were on the way to a celebratory lunch. The crazy man must have been following us since we left the house." I paused and reached for some water. The two of them were looking at me anticipating to hear more. "While we were walking the man just came out of nowhere to grab the two of them as hostage. I had to think and act quick. All i had in my head was how to get the knife out of his hands. Jessica's father was not helping. He was agitating the man." I clutched my wound in pain. She held my hands and motioned for me to rest. She continued the story for me. "Yes Taeyeon was just plain witty. She suddenly became crazy and acted like she was on the mad man's side. She made Donghae look like a complete loser. She told the crazy guy that he should just stab Donghae instead. You should have seen how he ran when she grabbed him by the collar and attempted to bring him over to the mad man." She laughed before continuing. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Well and after that she held Jessica and faked that she would hold her down while the guy stabbed. Of course this silly here had something else planned. When the guy thrust the knife forward she shoved Jessica aside and took the knife in the gut instead. What people do for love.." She sighed. I could sense that her tone became slightly different when she talked about my love for Jessica. "Yes that is the story in a nut shell." I continued. "Ok. So where is Jessica now?" Yoona questioned. I too wanted to know. "I don't know. I just came to and the both of you appeared." I looked over to the figure on my left. I waited for her to explain. She was the only one who would know where Jessica was. "Is Jessica alright?" I asked concerned. I remember her holding me tightly and crying. I remember the words I said to her in front of everyone, Mr and Mrs Jung inclusive. "I guess you could say so. She's unharmed." The person said. "Anyway who's this? Care to introduce her to us?" Yoona asked. "Oh i'm sorry. I totally forgot." I said apologetically.

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They shook hands and introduced themselves. Chapter 57 Jessica's Perspective [Timeline The day (after Donghae's Proposal) Taeyeon got stabbed - Parallel to Chapter 54] I was walking beside Donghae. He held my hands. He was talking to Dad. The both of them were probably the only happy ones around. Taeyeon was lagging behind with the rest of them. I could tell that Mum was not very pleased at the proposal. Although, there really is nothing she could do about it. Krystal was probably still upset about both my engagement and the fact that Taeyeon and I were an item. I was bothered. Tiffany was always there for Taeyeon. I have this nagging fear that Taeyeon would leave me one day. I was afraid that she would leave me for Tiffany. I know that I was being selfish for not wanting Taeyeon to leave my side. It was unfair to her. All these thoughts were going through my head until I heard the commotion going on behind me. I turned to see Mum and Krystal being held by a middle aged

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man with greying hair. He was holding a knife. I started to panic. He was holding hostage the two people that I care about most and love dearly. I wanted to save them but I didn't know how to. The man started hurling abuses at my father. It was his fault again. Why did this have to happen. Dad's violent reply agitated the man even more. I saw that the man was unstable. I was extremely worried. Taeyeon suddenly sprung at Dad and shoved him to the ground. I got a rude shock. I saw that the man was surprised too. Some of his rage subsided. By this point, Dad was already quite mad at Taeyeon. I sure hope things clear up after this. I did not want him to hate her. I noticed that when dad talked he agitated the man and when Taeyeon spoke the man felt less rage. All this while Donghae was just hiding away from the man. He was useless. Taeyeon grabbed him by the collar and he started running. I hope Dad could witness for himself and disapprove of my engagement to Donghae. Suddenly someone grabbed me from the back. It was Taeyeon. I struggled. I asked her what she was doing.

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She told me to keep quiet. I listened. Somehow I trusted her. I knew that she knew what she was doing. She managed to get the man to release my mother. Krystal was still in the man's arms. I had to save her even if it means I got stabbed by the knife. The man moved over. He pulled his hands back. I braced myself for the knife penetrating my skin and flesh. I felt a huge force push me over. I stumbled on to the ground. I opened my eyes in time to see the knife penetrate Taeyeon's abdomen. I went into shock. Why did she do it. Why was she so silly. Krystal freed herself from his grip. The man got pinned down by some bystanders . Taeyeon fell to the ground. She was clutching the knife. I rushed to her side. I held her. I was worried. I could not afford to lose her. She looked like she was in a lot of pain. My tears could not stop flowing. "Don't..cry..I...love..you..always.." Those were her last words before she passed out. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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I couldn't be bothered even if everyone else here heard her or whatever I was going to say next. "Taeyeon ah Taeyeon ah! Don't leave me! Nothing must happen to you! I won't marry Donghae! I won't leave you! Taeyeon ah please be strong! Taeyeon don't die on me!!" I sobbed. "Call an ambulance! Someone call an ambulance!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Taeyeon I want to be with you forever. Don't leave me.." I begged. "Don't leave me. I can never live without you..." I sat there holding Taeyeon while sobbing. *** I watched at the ambulance sped away. I was worried sick. I wish that I could be on the ambulance with Taeyeon. I was in the car with my father. We were on the way to the hospital. He had to get his sprain treated. He gave me an ultimatum. He made me choose. He said that he could get the best doctors to operate on Taeyeon and ensure that she got the best medical care. The condition was that I could never see her again. I was desperate I agreed. I would do anything to see her live. I would marry Donghae a million times over. I just wanted Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Taeyeon to be alright. My father made a few phone calls and the matter was settled. Taeyeon's chances of survival were way higher now. *** [Timeline Two days later] I was locked up in my room. My mother brought me my meals. I wasn't the only one locked up. Krystal was locked up in her room too. She tried to stand up for Taeyeon and talked back to our father. It was the wrong move. Now both of us were stuck at home. Tiffany was the only one who could be by Taeyeon's side. She was our only contact point. I sent Yoona a text message the day Taeyeon got stabbed. They were such close friends. She had to be informed. I was still worried. It has been two days. Taeyeon has not come to yet. I barely ate. I had no appetite. All I had was little Taengom by my side. I hugged Taengom every minute of the day. I was sitting by the bay window. I was just staring out on the streets. My phone beeped. I reached for it quickly. It was Tiffany.

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'Taeyeon has come to. She's doing fine. The first thing she did when she awoke was to call your name.' When I read the message tears started rolling down my cheeks. They were tears of relief. I was glad that Taeyeon had come to. I made the right choice. It saved her life. That was all that mattered. Chapter 58 - Last Chapter [Timeline - Continued from Chapter 56] Yuri, Yoona and Tiffany sat down around my bed. Somehow Tiffany's sentence about Jessica didn't seem right. She was unharmed but was everything else ok? I decided to ask Tiffany about it. "So Tiffany. Why isn't Jessica here? I mean even Krystal is not here. Did something happen?" Tiffany sighed. "Well I guess you'll have to know sooner or later. I might as well tell you now." Tiffany started telling us what happened in the time that I was out cold.

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She told me how Jessica promised never to see me again if her dad would give me the best medical treatment. She told me how Krystal talked back to her father as well. The both of them were now like caged animals. Mrs Jung of course was suffering. She apparently got hit by Mr Jung. She took everything in silence. He made nasty comments about how she brought up the children to become freaks of nature. It was very hurtful. After Tiffany told us everything, Yoona was definitely on fire. As usual Yoona was quite the emotional and hot-headed girl. "Jessica doesn't deserve this. Her mother doesn't deserve this. Krystal doesn't deserve this. No human deserves this kind of treatment! Seriously Taeyeon get Jessica out of there." Yoona ranted. "Do you think it's so easy for her to abandon her family. We're in this mess because she's unwilling to leave Krystal and her Mother behind to suffer." I explained. "No. You're in this mess because you got with her in the first place." Yoona spared no chances. "Ok fine. So since i'm already in this mess I guess I should just go all out." I thought hard. I had a problem at hand. It was a problem I needed to solve. All that thinking gave me a headache. There were too many unknowns.

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I decided that the best thing to do was to approach Mr Jung and talk to him directly. It would be prudent to do so, but I had to do it. Yuri and Yoona stayed in the hospital with me for the next few days. It took me a while to recuperate. My family had no idea I was in the hospital. I kept it from them. They didn't have to worry. I was fine. At least I was recovering quickly. After about a week of laying in hospital, I was finally ready to get discharged. The first thing I did was to head down to Jessica's house. Both Yoona and Yuri came along. I arrived at the front gate. I pushed on the doorbell to be polite. Mrs Jung came to the door. When she saw me she hurriedly walked over and held both my hands warmly. "Taeyeon ah how are you feeling? Why didn't you rest a bit longer? Have your wounds healed completely?" I could sense the concern in her voice. Mrs Jung was such a sweet lady. I didn't know if she heard me say those words to Jessica. If she did I was sure she had already accepted me.

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"Mrs Jung don't worry. I'm fine. My abdomen still feels sore but I'm doing good." I smiled. "Are you here for Jessica?" Mrs Jung asked. "No. I'm actually here for Mr Jung." My reply took her by surprise. "Ok. He's in the study. Why don't you take a seat in the living room. I'll get him." I sat down in the living room with both Yuri and Yoona. Tiffany sat down beside us as well. I guess she wanted to show her support. Yuri and Yoona were both gawking at the interior of the house. It was grand. We all turned when we heard footsteps. Mr Jung was walking over. He ended up sitting opposite of me. "So what is your business here?" He said in a stern and cold voice. "I would like to apologize for my rude behavior that day. I apologize for your sprained ankle." I said sincerely. Yoona was looking at me like I was an alien. Yuri held her arm. We didn't want her spewing her mouth off at this point in time. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Apology accepted. You may leave now." Mr Jung said as he stood up. "Wait." I stood up too. He turned and glared at me piercingly. "What else do you want. If it's Jessica you want. Forget it and leave now. I'm being nice here because you saved my family." He said in a sort of nasty tone. It wasn't completely nasty, but it was in a very crude tone. "No. I'm not here for Jessica. I'm here to talk to you." I put my foot down. "I have nothing to talk to you about." Mr Jung started making his way back up. I believe no one has ever stood up to him before. "I would like to repay my medical bills. I don't want to owe you anything." My sentence stopped him in his track. He turned. "If you're trying to pay back the debt so that Jessica's promise does not stand anymore forget about it. It's just money. I have plenty. I'll take that I donated that amount to charity. Now. Leave." "No. It's not about that. It's about integrity. I don't want to accept any help from you. I will pay you back in full even if it means paying in installments." I replied firmly. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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"Fine. I'll send you the bill. Now. Leave. I'm saying it for the last time." "Yes sir. Just let me grab my luggage. Thank you for your hospitality." I said and walked towards the stairs. "Hold it. Sit here. My wife will get your bag for you. You stay far away from my daughter." I could sense the disgust in his voice. Mrs Jung was watching us all this while. I saw sadness in her eyes. She disappeared behind the stairs. Mr Jung stood there and watched me. I took the opportunity to speak my mind. "I'm not here to teach you what to do, but Donghae is really not the right man for your daughter. Please don't force them to be together. You saw how much of a coward he is. He has no ability to protect her or your family. Please. i'm begging you. I'm not asking you to let Jessica be with me. Just please don't force her to marry a man that is so useless." I begged. I had to do all that I could to fight for Jessica's happiness. Even if she could not end up with me. I had to fight for her happiness. Mr Jung kept silent. I knew that sentence hit too close to home. He too knew that Donghae was not worthy of Jessica. "You don't have to tell me what to do. You're ignorant. I know what's best for my daughters. Keeping them away from you is Author : Yongel [email protected]

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top priority." He said curtly. The doorbell rang. We all looked at the door. Tiffany stood up to get the door. We all heard a male voice. "Oh my god! You have the cheek to return. Get lost you loser!" Tiffany had a sudden outburst. Mr Jung walked towards the door. I followed. I knew it was Donghae. Donghae greeted Mr Jung. "What are you doing here. You have no right to step onto my property. Leave now before I throw you out." Donghae dropped down onto his knees. "I'm sorry sir. I'm really sorry. I love Jessica a lot. Please let me be with her." Donghae begged like a dog with his tail in between its legs. He looked pathetic. He disgusted me. At least now I knew Mr Jung was not as irrational as I thought he was. I felt at ease. I was ready to leave. "I'm sorry I know my mistake it won't happen again." Donghae Author : Yongel [email protected]

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pleaded. "Yes. It won't happen again because you are not stepping near my daughter. Both of you are not." Mr Jung directed the ending statement to both of us. "As long as Jessica ends up with a worthy man. I'm fine with it." I said looking Mr Jung in the eye. I held the stare. Suddenly I heard someone call my name. It was Jessica. She was running towards me. She hugged me. My abdomen hurt as the both of us collided, but the hug was worth it. "Jessica Jung what are you doing here!" Mr Jung roared. "Dad you can't stop me from loving Taeyeon! Even if you lock me up a million times over, even if you make me marry some other man. No matter what you do I will NEVER stop loving her!" Jessica was screaming in between tears. Mr Jung walked over. I could see him turning red in the face. "Jessica Jung you listen good and you listen well. YOU WILL NEVER BE WITH A GIRL. My daughter WILL NEVER be with a girl." He said staring at her as he clutched the collar of her shirt. I could see him turning violent. He turned to Mrs Jung. "WHY DID YOU LET HER OUT!" He said as if he was going to hit her.

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He walked over and raised his hands. "STOP!" I shouted. He glared at me. "I'll leave. Don't use violence on your wife. She doesn't deserve it. She has brought both your daughters up well. Maybe it's because of you that they both like girls instead. You should do some self reflection." I walked over and picked up my bag. My abdomen hurt too much. I couldn't do it. Yuri came over and helped me instead. Mr Jung walked over and held me by the collar with both hands. "You IGNORANT FOOL who are you to TELL ME ANYTHING!?" He said shaking me. I just held his stare all this time. I never broke eye contact. Suddenly a hand just flew at his face. Someone just slapped Mr Jung? It stunned me. It was Mrs Jung. "ENOUGH! I've had ENOUGH!" Mrs Jung started going crazy. Everyone was silent. Everyone was shocked. "You have been abusing this family enough! We have had Author : Yongel [email protected]

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enough of you! You think you know best! You think that everything you do is right! I'm telling you it's not! YOU LET GO OF TAEYEON RIGHT NOW!" Mrs Jung said shaking at his arm. He released his grip. "What Taeyeon is doing for Jessica is called selfless love. You have a lot to learn from her! You don't know what love is! If you object to the both of them be prepared to lose your entire family! We're leaving you. You can spend the rest of your life with your filthy money ALONE!" Mrs Jung shoved him and made her way up the stairs. "FINE LEAVE ALL OF YOU! I DON'T GIVE A D*MN!" Mr Jung stomped off. His face was red. His veins were showing at his neck. Mrs Jung came down shortly with Krystal. "GOOD BYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE! HAPPY LIVING ALONE!" Mrs Jung shouted before she slammed the door hard. We all stood at the door. It all happened too quickly. Jessica hugged me. "I'm not leaving you ever again." She whispered to me tenderly. Epilogue Jessica's Perspective [Flashback - Timeline parallel to Chapter 50 - The day they went skating]

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Tiffany and Taeyeon were holding hands. I was extremely jealous. I was sure my dissatisfaction showed on my face. I did not expect a simple dare to turn into this. I brought it upon myself. I should have just held Taeyeon's hands. We arrived and we all pulled on our skates. I wasn't good at skating. Taeyeon started skating around. She was just so good at everything. I stood up and wobbled slightly. I was thankful Taeyeon was mine. She was just so perfect. Just then Tiffany slipped. Taeyeon sped over and caught Tiffany. Tiffany was leaning against her chest. Taeyeon had her arms around Tiffany. "Becareful." Taeyeon said to Tiffany. Somehow that sounded too gentle for my liking. "Thank you." Tiffany said shyly. The scene before my eyes almost brought tears to my eyes. The fear of losing Taeyeon grew. I wanted to skate away so that I didn't have to witness the Author : Yongel [email protected]

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physical affection between the both of them. I turned but I slipped and crashed to the ground instead. "Stupid ice!" I cried out. I took it out on the ice. Taeyeon skated over instantly and reached for me. She held me up. I pulled my hands away the moment I got up. I wanted to show her that I was jealous. Just then she got distracted by Krystal. Krystal just came in and placed a hand on Taeyeon's shoulder. Taeyeon turned her head. "Does anybody here even skate reasonably well?" Taeyeon asked. "Obviously not." I said feeling pissed. I was not getting enough attention from Taeyeon. "Taeyeon Unnie can you hold my hands as we skate? I don't want to fall." Krystal requested of Taeyeon. Taeyeon agreed. They held hands and skated away. She didn't even bother about me. I was upset. I was stumbling around with Tiffany when I saw Krystal and Taeyeon fall into a tight embrace. Their face was very close to each other. The were looking at each other. They did not pull away instantly. It felt like they were about to kiss. It tore my heart apart. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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Taeyeon muttered something and Krystal stood up shyly. They held hands and skated towards us. The moment they returned, Tiffany asked for her turn. "I got to start charging for my services soon." Taeyeon joked. Krystal suddenly moved forward and kissed Taeyeon on the cheeks. She kissed my Taeyeon but there was nothing I could do. It killed me. "Here this is your payment." She giggled. Tiffany planted another kiss on Taeyeon's other cheek. "And here's your payment too. Now take me around." Tiffany beamed. Taeyeon blushed. It upset me even more. It felt like she was slipping away. She skated around with Tiffany for a bit. Krystal and I were both just standing there and staring. I guess the both of us felt the same way. Taeyeon finally returned. "Ok It's Jessica's turn now." She released Tiffany's hands and reached for mine. "So are you going to pay me too?" She teased. Author : Yongel [email protected]

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When she said that it just seemed like she enjoyed the kiss from both the girls. I hated that. It made me mad. Krystal suddenly interrupted. She kissed Taeyeon again. She pulled Taeyeon's hands out of mine. They skated off. I felt helpless. Taeyeon did not feel like she belonged to me anymore. I did not want to share her. I wanted her for my own. After a awhile, Taeyeon skated back and held my hands firmly. "Come on let's go. No need for payment given our close relationship." She said. Her words warmed my heart slightly. It felt good to feel her hands in mine. Taeyeon dragged me a long. I stumbled slightly. I was never going to let go of her hands. She placed her hand on my waist gently to secure me. Taeyeon was just so sleek. It is no wonder the two girls were falling for her. We continued on. "You're such a flirt." I said Jealous. I wanted to let her know how I felt. "Can't help it that I'm attractive." She said smugly. I pulled away instantly. I did not like her smugness. It seemed Author : Yongel [email protected]

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like she enjoyed the attention. I almost slipped. Taeyeon caught my waist and pulled me close to her. Our bodies pressed against each other. It sent tingles down my spine. Her grip against me was firm. She looked at me deeply. "Jessica Jung don't ever attempt that again. I won't let you go so easily." The way Taeyeon said that sentence was so charming. It was sincere. I felt it. I looked at her all glassy eyed. In that moment I knew. I could never live without her. I made my choice. "Taeyeon ah. I love you."

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