Crone Playbook

Tarot of the Crone Playbook Ellen Lorenzi-Prince


Tarot of the Crone Playbook Ellen Lorenzi-Prince (c) 2017 Portland, Oregon This work is based primarily upon posts that first appeared in an online study group from 2006 to 2009. I wrote a spread or exercise for each card, one on the dark moon and one on the full moon, working through two randomly selected cards each month for three and a half years. I wish to thank the members of that circle for their participation and inspiration.

The Crone herself, rather than any particular card, inspired the following spreads and exercises. Cronebody Spread The Crone lives in a cronebody, a body that is changed from what it once was, and crafted of both spirit and flesh. This spread recognizes your human and material needs and situations, and suggests how you might fulfill those needs and address those situations. The cards are laid out in a diamond shape, setting the boundaries of your bodily existence, the four quarters, beginning at the root. Let each card describe to you the situation, so that you know its energy and the manifestations it has taken in your life. And let it also instruct you in your best course of action, the requirement and the remedy implicit in the situation. 1. Bones: the structure of your existence. The card in this position speaks to your survival needs, to the root of your situation and its requirements. This position indicates health and physical abilities, as you are dependent for your life on your body and its care. It also indicates financial and other external physical resources that allow you to live your life as best you can. 2. Flesh: the intimate surroundings of your existence. The card in this position speaks of your friends, family, lovers and neighbors. It indicates your bonding and social needs, addresses issues of emotional health, how you live with others and love with others. 3. Blood: the juice of our existence. The card in this position speaks to your needs for expression, creation and individual recognition. It indicates your lust and your enthusiasm. Our sexual needs, as well as the other gratifications and feedbacks your self demands. This card tells you how to stay juicy, lest you dry up and not want to live your own life. 4. Breath: the environment of your existence. The card in this position speaks to your place in the web of life, your routines, habits and surroundings. What you take in and give out each day. How on a daily basis and in small ways you effect change in your world.

Sample Reading The querent asks: How can I bridge my past path of pain and soul wounds with my present, which is filled with love and acceptance and gifts I've barely dared to glimpse? Yesterday's loneliness is etched into my DNA, and I don't want to lose its wisdom. But I also want to be open to all the potential joys the future holds, and not limit myself based on an old prison. The Crone responds:
 1. Bones ~ Seven of Cups
 What was broken in the past was your belief in the power of your dreams, when this power was not recognized and could not be spoken of. What was broken was your structure of reality, again and again. So the pieces of dream and reality, they got mixed up, even though each denied the other. Which got them more mixed up. Your prison now was your younger self’s fortress and your younger self’s protection. Fantasy shows the way out. Because you’ve got the management of ordinary reality down, now that fortress can be dismantled and its timbers used to build the bridge. So go ahead and build big dreams for what might await you on the other side, for then your desires will build the bridge the sooner. 2. Flesh ~ Three of Disks The family card, here in the position of family. Which makes their influence sometimes overwhelming. How can the old prison be left behind, when some of your fellow inmates are still present? When the pattern of unsatisfactory relationship tries to overshadow your new requirements of relationship? Or to tarnish its beauty? By setting yourself along the right road, and walking it a bit further every day. And knowing that your goal is also what everyone else longs for, even if they can’t say it, or are too caught up in the past to see a different way. You have found those you can join hands with, who see and feel and desire the same goal, and who are willing to walk the road with you to reach it. It’s a step by step process. And with each step you check if your feet are still on the ground, if your hand is still holding to what you love, and you are facing what you want.

Never worry about losing the old lessons. You never learn less on this road. But you can always learn more. 3. Blood ~ Ace of Wands Part of the prison was built by your inability to exercise your own will. The fire of your self- determination was banked and buried, and you found only small ways, and perhaps sometimes terrible ways, to express it and keep it alive. But whatever was done was what you needed at the time to keep your spirit from dying altogether. You feel alive and free when you can say what you feel, when you can say what you want, when you can say what you’ll do. And what you will not. You feel alive when you can take action, when you can initiate projects that inspire yourself and others. This is what you need to give to yourself every day, that in your own life - your will be done. 4. Breath ~ Strength In the past, your spirit retreated from intimate involvement in your body and its earthly reality, wanting to live a free and separate life as much as possible. And the most basic key to your living the life you want to on a daily basis is calling it back in, and healing the mind/body split you grew up with. Your body longs for your spirit when it retreats, and your spirit longs to celebrate your body. It is time for you to rediscover the sacred sensual. Let the breeze on your face be a kiss from the gods, and the warmth of the sun be their embrace. Let the fact that you can move upon the earth be a wonder and a gift. Strength is the card of the Healer. Not the wounded healer, but the healed one. Strength says you have a gift of healing to share with those who are wounded as you once were.

Breathing Black Exercise Breathe deeply. Breathe easily. Imagine that an old wise woman sets a dark soft cloak around your shoulders. You’d like to thank her but she has already gone. But the cloak remains. Rich and deep and wonderfully soft. You snuggle right in, for there’s more than warmth in there. And now as you breathe, you breathe in the darkness of the cloak. You breathe in the softness and the richness. You breathe out vapors in noxious colors. You breathe out impurities; breathe in the deep darkness. Breathe in the source, the strength of the deep earth. The cloak like a blanket of earth around you, rich and dark and full. Full of promise, full of possibility Breathe in the darkness, breathe out the impurities, until you feel filled with darkness, the inside of you expanding deep into the heart of the earth, deep into the home of stars. Feel each cell of your body full of dark. Feel all your electrons zinging through the darkness like comets in space. Feel it. Live it. Take in this power with every breath. Connection. Transformation. Possibility. The darkness is where you and Earth and Heaven meet. Breathe the black. Wear the cloak.

Hekate Spread Hekate is a goddess of fire and darkness, magic and transformation. She initiates and guards all transitional states. Hekate provides the gateway, the magic, which can connect us to the great and nameless creatrix, She who may heed our prayers. In antiquity, Hekate statues stood at the threshold to other sacred places. With her torches Hekate leads the way into other worlds. In literature and surviving custom, Hekate and her ghosts were held responsible for causing madness and misfortune, and it was to Hekate one prayed to be delivered from madness and misfortune. This spread invites Hekate to speak with you, to develop your wisdom, power and courage. The layout is in three sets of three for a total of nine cards.

2 1 3 5 4 6 8 7 9 She is the Goddess of Crossroads
 1. The Crossroads: a moment of choosing that is at hand, a pivotal point in your life. 2. The Choice Within: advice Hekate offers on your sacred direction at this crossroads. 3. The Choice Without: advice Hekate offers on the mundane direction to take at this point of choosing. She is the Queen of Ghosts
 4. What Haunts You: a piece of your past that you have been unable to release or unable to claim. 5. What Helps You: what resources are available to you to help you move forward, to get beyond the pain or mistakes of the past, or to integrate the lessons or power left behind. 6. What Waits For You: what power you will gain when this ghost is understood and integrated. If you see this outcome as purely negative, then there is a great deal of fear involved in getting beyond this particular ghost. Extra help from a wise friend or counselor is indicated. She is the Goddess of Witches
 7. Your Magic: the special aspect of your personal power best for you to work with now. 8. The Opportunities Within: how this power may be used for your benefit in the inner realms. 9. The Opportunities Without: how you may exercise or express this power in the outer world.

0 Fool For a Crone deck, I could not choose a youth for the Fool. So instead I thought of the cliff's edge and of the fall into the unknown. The unknown lies before us, in the future we seek to plan and assure. The unknown also lies within us, in the hidden potential for both destruction and renewal in each cell of our bodies, in the strangeness of our hearts, and in the unfathomable mystery of our souls. The unknown surrounds us, within the past and the present as well. Within every being we encounter, within every power of nature. Within what we think we know quite well. All we expect, for good or ill, may be undone and remade. If we can trust that the great mystery includes us, infuses us and holds us, we may be able to open enough to feel and flow with it, and so make the best of it. Let us be Fools. Let us accept that mystery surrounds us. Let us accept that anything may happen, that both miracles and chaos await around every corner. 1. How can I better learn to trust? 2. How can I learn to let go of what I must? 3. What is the mystery in which I share?

I Magician The Magician card was inspired by the idea of coming out of the void of the Fool. The Magician is the something that comes from nothing. She is also the trickster as well as the conductor of souls. But the image also comes from a trance journey I had, actually the first one where I deliberately sought out Hekate. I entered a cave and it was pitch black. I imagined waving my hand in front of my face and asking myself how many fingers was I holding up, it was so completely dark. Suddenly this terrifying canine face, scored with blood and bone, came screaming out of the darkness. I fell, but I did not turn back. Eventually I got back up and walked on. And I saw this being as the guardian at the gate, the first test of initiation, to continue seeking the knowledge I wanted despite the strangeness or the fear. So make an intention to walk a path of power at an especially magical time: a solstice, a full moon, or an eclipse. Have matches (not a lighter), a candle and your cards ready in a dark, quiet room. Hold an unlit match in your hand. It is a tiny magic wand, holding the potential for fire, heat and light within it. Now strike the match and see the flame. By your action, you have ignited its potential. But to fulfill its potential, the fire it carries must be shared, given to a vessel that can hold the flame for more than the few seconds the match can stay lit. So light the candle. See it hold the flame. And by this light, pick three cards. The Match ~ What is the potential power you hold, waiting to be expressed? The Strike ~ What is the action you need to take to release the power? The Candle ~ What will keep the power going? What is its path to manifestation?

Sample reading

The Match ~ What is the potential power you hold, waiting to be expressed? 
 Death. I truly can transform myself, beyond the outer manifestations of the checkered career and the roles I play so well that others have been surprised when they see a different side of me. 
 


The Strike ~ What is the action you need to take to release the power? 
 Six of Swords. Stick to the plan where I balance each day with the flow of movement, nutrition, creative work, necessary tasks, loving others and inner communion. 
 





The Candle ~ What will keep the power going? What is its path to manifestation?
 Beast of Cups. The personal meaning of this card came a few years after I painted it, when in a dream, Hekate called me her "little frog." I'd chosen the beast for this card based on the meaning described in the book, not on any special connection with frogs at the time. But since that dream, what I see when this card comes up is myself in relation to the goddess, not where I feel we are partners having interaction, but where I feel more like a child or novitiate: cared for, humble, and receiving her wisdom. 


II Priestess The title of the card is Priestess rather than High Priestess because Crones don't go much for hierarchy, only differences. This is one of the cards that came to me immediately upon conceiving a Crone deck (Hermit as Bag Lady and Hanged One as Weeping Woman were the other two). I've always seen standing stones as magical beings. When I heard "phallic symbol," I thought, well okay, you could see it as that. Nothing against phalluses. I've gotten a daughter and a lot of pleasure out of a particular one. But those stones - it was just obvious to me there was Thought involved as well as Urge. There was Mystery as well as Passion. And the passion would have to that of the devotee, of the ecstatic nun married to God, of the Priestess, to serve the Great Ones in such a way. Finding Silence The Priestess knows about silence. This is where she learns all she knows. This is where she hears all that speaks, whispers, mutters, sings, shrieks, and groans. Where she hears all that does not speak aloud, but trembles in hollow and hidden places.

Silence is not sensory deprivation, but stillness. The priestess maintains stillness amid the flow of all she hears. The small voices do not sway her when her stillness is rooted in the deep rhythms of Earth. And Earth's vigorous hymn does not overwhelm her, when her stillness also finds roots in the enchanting spaces and arias of Heaven. She finds silence among the voices of millions. 1. How do I find the silence I need to listen? What is a path I can take to get there? 2. What will help me when I am tested? How do I find my way back to silence? When the path is lost, how can I know the next step? Listening to the Deep When you have found silence, it is time to listen. Let your concerns inform your focus. The listening that the Priestess recommends is useful for any situation. It doesn't have to be spiritual quests that bring you to her. The Oracle might be cryptic and want a learned or sacred mind to interpret, but

she answers any question. The difficulty in listening deep will be in the amount of chatter you've got surrounding your concern, not in the nature of your concern. Ask what you need to know, and listen. If you hold silence within the flow, can you tell where a stream of chatter comes from? Do these voices speak from a place of strength and alliance? Do they speak from experience and from wisdom? Listen for the deep and resonant notes. Look at the Priestess. Feel the beat of the Earth, the bell of the Moon. Let an answer coalesce in the Void and rise up within you. 1. What is this energy arising? What force drives it? What is the ultimate goal of this answer? 2. What form is this energy likely to take? How will I recognize its potential? How might I shape it? Making Known the Mystery The Oracle has spoken. Now it's your turn. Sing a note for as long as you can. Write a poem, or an affirmation, or a to do list. Draw an ancient symbol. Make known a piece of your mystery and your truth. Let it take form through your hands and your voice. Let it make itself known through you. Then go show it to the Moon. 


III Empress What I'd like to offer you from the Empress is her enfolding embrace. Neither past nor future, but a moment of love so powerful it holds an ocean of healing. A moment of love so magical it holds the creation of a singular, beautiful life. When we know the Empress's love, we are ready to aid in that creation. Take a moment now to invoke her. Invoke her with thoughts of every loving hug you've given and received. Every touch from an open heart. Every feeling of wonder you've shared with a flower, a bird, a baby, a beloved. Invoke your every power to give and know love--and the Empress lives in you. Let her grow great. Let her expand within you and beyond you. Let her warm and hold you. Heal you. And love you. 1. Lady, how may I know more of your love? 2. Lady, where shall I give more of your love? 


3. Lady, if you will, tell me of the secret of creation?

IV Emperor You experience your life personally and with immediacy. There is no other way. But what happens in your life is not always about you. You are part of larger groups and movements. You are embedded in time and place, and time moves on without you. The intimacy of your life will be swallowed by history. 1. What larger context is it important for you to recognize? 2. How does this context support your personal choices? 3. In what way does it thwart your personal choices? 4. What can you change about the context? 5. What can you change about your choices? The Emperor also represents the rules you live by: how you form them, obey them, reject them. To what and whom you offer the crown of authority. To bring awareness to your relationship with authority, pick three cards and set them in a row. Let each one in turn be the primary voice of the reading, the authoritative voice, merely supported by the other two. The left card says... the middle card says... the right card says... After the individual readings, look at the overview. Do the separate voices relate to each other? Which voice do you believe, which do you doubt? Why do you think that is so? 


V Tradition Cultural traditions are how our ancestors live in us and how our society shapes us. Culture is what people have created from life beyond mere subsistence, and it builds up in layers around us, from global society to neighborhood and families to personal preferences that may arise from a place so deep within our DNA that we cannot question them. But let's question them. Start by identifying the layers of culture you'd like to examine. Labels for the layers you select (choose three to seven for this exercise) may take many approaches. Mix and match and see what works for you. A globally inspired progression might include World, Country, Community, Home. Or define roles you play in career and family. You might look at roles that live within yourself, from spirit to saboteur to mad scientist. Once you have identified your headings, lay out two cards for each. 1. What do you take for granted about this? What has formed the ground on which you've built your life? 2. How do you change what you believe must be because it has always been? If you want to go further after your reading: examine again your chosen layers with this new information in mind. Really examine them; imagine peeling them off and getting a good hard look. What will you claim? What can you discard? What can you mend or refurbish? Redress your soul in your new clothes and make a new vow. Then do another reading. For each new layer, lay out two cards. 1. How can I stay mindful of what happens here? 2. How can I work with it to serve my best interest? 





VI Crossroads At the Crossroads are those who wander, and those in crisis. And, like the choice at the Crossroads, these two need separate things.
 


The wanderer goes every way, and needs the way to remain open. She needs the tools, the insight and the strength to be a remover of obstacles. While the seeker needs the tools, the insight and the strength to take that next important step toward fulfillment of her soul. The other day I drew Crossroads in answer to one of those excruciating "should I stay or should I go" situations where neither choice seems possible. I wanted to explore it further. The layout has the Crossroads card in the middle of a square of four cards.




1. 2. 3. 4.

A way to move forward without leaving. If I leave, the best way to go. The part of the past that must die. The hidden potential of this situation.

VII Chariot I had a dream about chariot races. In the races, each person pulled her own chariot. You could not tell who would win by the size of the chariot or the apparent fitness of the runner; the runners could be aided by helpful spirits, and they were powered by experience. The Witch in the Crone has a broom, not a chariot. But it is a magic broom (her helpful spirit), and her strength and direction come from experience. She's not competing, and her flight is not a game, but it is a triumph. It is movement toward purpose, toward accomplishment, and toward joy. Before doing this spread, think of something you wish to achieve. There may be many things, let them all float through your mind for a moment, but settle on one for now. Something concrete, something possible, and something that gets your juices flowing. 1. What spirit is available to help you achieve your goal? 2. What experience in your past will help you achieve your goal? 3. What helps you keep moving toward your goal? 4. What hinders your movement? 5. How can you find the most joy along the way? 


VIII Justice Justice. The card of Spider Grandmother. She who weaves the world and teaches the children. She who is called Thinking Woman. Her lessons are about awareness: of the consequences of your actions, of the reality and dependency of your connections, and of the power of your thoughts. Her white body is the mirror she holds for you. For you to see the truth. Late summer is spider season here in Portland. Strands of spider silk stretch across sidewalks and between trees. I break through their webs every day A reminder of the connections I cannot see but can feel. Also, a reminder to do things right. Right time, right place. Or do them again and again. To do things right. Not by instinct. Not by chance. But through awareness, knowledge and judgment. Let Spider Grandmother advise you about doing right in your world. Act based upon connectedness and fairness. Face and speak the truth. 1. What is the truth you need to face? 2. How does this truth need to be expressed?


Spider Grandmother Spread 1. The Center of the Web
 This card represents what issue Spider Grandmother is instructing you about in this reading. Note: If you can find no way to make sense of this card, put the cards away and try again later. 2. The Sticky Strands
 This card advises you in how to get what you want to come your way, and how to hold on to it when it does. 3. The Smooth Strands
 This card advises you on how to move through your life and hold on to your own freedom and purpose. 4. Where She Waits
 This card advises you on where to be patient. And on knowing what and when and how to let go. 5. Where She Acts
 This card shows you your best next action and opportunity. What requires your attention, whether you’ve caught on to something good or just have to do a repair job. 6. The Bridge
 This card shows you where you can stretch and reach farther. What divides you can conquer now. 7. The Space
 This card advises on what to use around you. What you have to work with, what you have to work around. 8. The Pattern
 The last space is for the goddess. For the overview from Spider Grandmother. To see where you fit in.

IX Hermit I see a connection between the Empress and the Hermit. The Hermit as the goddess within the person, the goddess walking on earth. Together you seek meaning in the journey, and together you seeking a way Home. You seek a way to be in both places at once. Learning both divinity and humility. Creating paths as you walk. Creating meaning. I may travel with others, but I'll always be looking for the paths where I find my own soul's integration, purpose, and healing. 1. What helps me recognize the way? 2. What is important for me to remember along the way? 3. What is the light that leads me on? 


The Hermit’s Quest The Hermit, like the Fool, is on a journey. The Hermit, however, travels with intent, leaving behind what s/he knows to seek for something more. This spread will help you define your quest for that something more in your life, to bring it one step closer. Setting Out 1. Why I leave. Why am I not satisfied with what I already have or what I already know? What is pushing me or driving me on? 2. What I seek. What is calling out to my soul? What have I been missing all my life? What is the unknown that needs knowing? 3. What road I take. Where do I begin my search? What is my first step? What is the road that is right in front of me? How can I know it’s the right road? On the Road 4. What I bring. What do I think I need to help in my search? What do I truly need? What do I always carry with me? 5. What I leave. What am I choosing to leave behind? What am I inadvertently leaving behind? What do I wish I could leave behind? 6. What I find. What do I find that I have always known would be there? What do I find that is unexpected? What is the value of what I find? In the End 7. Why I am alone. Why is this my very own journey? What does walking alone mean to me? Who am I really? 8. Where I arrive. What does having what I sought look like? What does it feel like? How can I know when I have found it? 9. Where I go from here. To what might I want to return? For what might I want to keep looking? How does what I’ve found change my next steps? 


X Wheel In the Wheel we see one of the priestess stones up close. We stare into her face, attempting to see for ourselves there our fate, our purpose and our fortune. What she reveals is the path of our lives, as a labyrinth that leads in and out and back and forth. Behind her, across the sky, a greater labyrinth is suggested, one too vast and complex for us to do more than occasionally get a glimpse. This is the path of the gods. Ancient goddesses of fortune were considered to have reasons beyond those humanity could determine, of why one individual may be showered with blessings and another with curses. But what is a blessing and what a curse? I'm reminded of a Taoist parable that has, in part, a farmer's son breaking his leg. "Oh, what bad luck," his neighbors said. "Maybe," he replied. Later soldiers swept through the village conscripting all the other young men, but sparing the farmer's son. "Oh, what good luck," his neighbors said. "Maybe," he replied. Okay, so not all of us can be as nonjudgmental of whatever comes our way as the Taoist farmer, but it's good to remember things can turn around. Fortune = Fate + Chance I disagree with the idea that whatever happens is meant to happen, because it implies I have no free will, and I know I do and so do you. Just because I can learn or grow from adversity doesn't mean adversity happened for that purpose. Some things just happen. Yet certain things do have a fated feel, and I do believe greater powers are active in our lives at times. I know they have been in mine. So how can we tell the difference? Well, we can try asking the cards. 1. Which of my struggles is a deep life lesson? 2. Which of my struggles is just something I must manage as best I can? 3. What is my truest blessing? 4. How can I open up to more blessings in my life?

XI Strength Strength. The Lady in the Cobra. I reversed the position of most Strength cards, with their humans above and beasts below. Because as we know, there is more to wisdom and much more to power than is categorized by the busybody human mind. The lady's strength does not come from arms to wrestle, or from hands to gentle. Its golden light, its sinuous mysterious power, arises from her. From body and soul, flesh and blood, ego and spirit. Her strength expands around her and extends beyond her. You may not think the Crone deck has angels in it, but it does, and this card has one of them. Allowing power, power coming together, being whole, being embraced by her full strength: this gives her wings. This is the card of the flying serpent. The dragon. The prehistoric bird/snake goddess of heaven and earth, mystery and fertility. What does she say to you about reality and about transcendence? 1. What does the Cobra have to tell you? 2. What does the Lady have to tell you? 3. What are the Wings for?

XII Sacrifice The root meaning of the word Sacrifice is "to make sacred." To make sacred by offering to the gods. For what is offered to the gods partakes in their divine nature. We may sacrifice to the gods, to an individual, or to an ideal, purpose, or cause. Most of us would not want our offerings to go unheeded and our sacrifices to be in vain. We do not want what we've done and given to make no difference. Yet what is offered is best surrendered with a whole heart: without regret, without expectation, without holding back. But for sacrifice to be complete does not mean it is mindless. Quite the contrary, for our mindfulness is part of that completion. May we choose our offerings and our gods wisely, and then give it all we've got. So let's ask the cards some questions around that. 1. What sacrifice am I being called to make that I need to be more aware of? 2. Who or what am I doing it for? 3. What or who is receiving the most benefit? 4. Within my soul, what is the result of this sacrifice? 5. What power deserves my sacrifice? 6. What do I have to offer this power? 7. How may I give wholeheartedly? Sacrifice. Turn the card around. She smiles in her reflection. The mystery of
 it, the principle and reality of inversion, is more of what I know as inside out
 magic. The tree with its roots in heaven. Our beautiful wounded world as the
 flowering of our combined spirits.
 


Sacrifice is the number 12, a multiple and cognate of 3. This is another level
 of Grandmother, the Empress, the primal mother. This card represents the work of
 the spiritual grandmothers.
 


As we know, the challenge is in keeping an open heart, which means recognition
 of suffering but not focus on suffering. Working in the spiritual realm,
 patience is required before the sometimes grinding wheels of manifestation catch


up. Believe that they will catch up, and find contentment in your work and path.


XIII Death Death. White, red, black. Bone, blood, grave. Maiden, mother, crone too the totality of a life. The bare truth, the life force, the unknown. The cold past, the vivid present, the unformed future. Look into her eyes. Tell me all you see there. Death stops you. She guards the gate between the worlds. She challenges you. Do you fear her? If you want her power before you've reached your own totality, you must face her. How much do you want to be transformed? she asks. What new worlds do you seek? And what are you willing to give to get there? Do you think that's enough? Are you trying to cheat Death? Her crotch, her coffin-shaped blood red vulva: this is the only way she leaves open without negotiation. What would it mean for you to take this path? What is the red path? What is the black? Look at the card. Think on these questions. Now take the questions that speak to you, and others that occur to you, and make your own Death Spread. Because each of us must face her in our own way, alone.

XIV Temperance Temperance is not about something that is, it's about something that happens. A process, a progress, a working through time. Not a singular flash of the Magician, but a magic that is ongoing. So it's a good card to work with for issues that need more than a quick fix. Think on what part of your life could use the power of Temperance. The layout for this spread looks like this: two pair with the final card in the center. 1

3 5

2

4




1. How does my passion aid me in this process? 2. How does my passion hinder me in this process? 3. How does my thinking aid me in this process? 4. How does my thinking hinder me in this process? 5. What is the key to moving forward?

Temperance Exercise This exercise shows a way to work with dualities and internal conflicts, to become powered by them rather than torn by them. Don’t spend your life trying to change noon into night. Duality is a dynamic flow you must live with, day by day. One thing cannot become its own opposite. One thing cannot be separated from its opposite. A way must be found to balance and live between them. 1. Identify a core duality inside you. Think about a conflict you often feel. Where does one part of yourself struggle with another part? A need for security versus a longing for adventure might be one example. Or where do you flip from one side to another and back again? Bingeing and dieting is another example - although these are actually expressions of the duality, rather than the duality itself. Try to define the two sides in personal terms - your needs, your desires, your feelings, your beliefs. 2. Choose cards to represent the two sides. Choose each consciously, or if you like you may select one at random and then consider what its opposite might be. Set the two cards in front of you. 3. Now, take a deep breath, and take a step back. One card may feel more positive than the other, one choice right and the other wrong. But for now, try to suspend any value judgments you might have regarding either of them. Look at each now as if they had nothing to do with you. As if they were equally interesting, and equally valuable. 4. Pick up one card and study it. Take your time with the card, and with the following questions. What power does this card hold?
 How might you access and express this power? What can it do for you? 5. Think of what this power has done to you in the past. And what you've tried to do with it and to it. Now clear your mind, and answer the same questions with the other card. 6. Take a card in each hand. Try to feel their powers at the same time. Both having something to give you. Both a part of you. Feel how they may be connected. Feel how they connect through you. And know that You, the one in the middle, are the one holding the cards. 


XV Devil I got this card in a reading yesterday. Quite appropriate, as fear, projection, hysteria and denial have been swirling around me since the latest natural disaster. I want to address this now, to gain more calm and clarity, even in the midst of continuing pain and concern. So when a moment of power opens, the prayer I make shall not be stained. I need to find my way through to the power this card can offer. For whatever the future may hold, it's better I meet its challenges with strength than unraveling.




1. In what way am I projecting my issues onto something else? 2. At what reality am I refusing to look? 3. What should I know about the fear I feel? 4. What should I do about this fear? 5. What strength do I have that needs practice and expression now?

XVI Tower We all recognize the energy of the Tower when we see devastation and catastrophe, or when we experience a huge breakthrough or complete breakdown. But I want to look at the times when the smaller cracks appear. Because they are warnings of something important, and we are often just too strong or stubborn to stop, open that crack a little wider, let the light into that place and see what it's trying to tell us. Times like this: you are going along and everything's fine, you're not aware of being in a fragile or foul mood, then some insignificant thing happens and anger surges through you like a flash flood. It may be gone just as quickly, as your mind jumps ahead and away to whatever else habitually occupies it. Or it may lead you to obsess over your reaction, and feel either sorry for, or disgusted at, or afraid of yourself. Neither way, however, will get at the truth that wants to become known, that is trying to break through the crack. So next time this happens (or remember a time when it happened), this sudden, strong, inappropriate, out of sync emotional response, don't dwell and don't forget, but pick up your cards and look inside.







The Little Tower Spread 1. What is the truth hiding behind this reaction? 2. Why have I chosen this emotion to cloak it? 3. How can I begin to express or heal this truth in the light of day?

I worked on this card in the fall of 1999. In that week I had an interesting range of Tower experience: sudden change, violence, and core truth. 
 


It began with a phone call from the company I contracted and mostly telecommuted for. "Can you go to Australia next Thursday?" Sure I could. I liked traveling, I'd make extra money, and I enjoyed working with the friendly and optimistic Australians. And the short notice was no problem; I find it easy to switch gears when the motivation is there. But my passport was expired. 
 


I made an appointment to go to the passport office in San Francisco. Expediting it in person meant it would be ready in 2 or 3 days. So I drove down from Eureka (a small town in the redwoods on the North California coast). I was early for my appointment, so went into a little market nearby to get something to drink. I stood on the sidewalk drinking it, watching the people dressed in business suits walk by. One man glanced up at me and muttered something. All I could hear was the stress in his voice, none of the words. I turned my head as he retreated, watching his back and wondering what he'd meant to tell me. 
 


When I turned back, I saw. A shabby man, muttering to himself, and holding up a large hunting knife like he was ready to stab someone. Our eyes met. In that moment was recognition. That I knew what it was to feel that crazed, that violent, that much in pain. That all appearances aside, we were not so different on the inside. Because of that recognition, he veered from his path and came toward me, the knife just a few feet from my skin. 
 


I tossed the contents of my bottle into his face, and he closed his eyes at the impact of the liquid. Then I ran. 
 


When I stopped at a safe distance, I looked back. There had been no screaming, and I saw no disturbance in the flow of foot traffic on the street. Everyone still went about their day. But for me at least, something had profoundly changed. 
 





When I got home I figured I'd better start on the Star card before getting on the plane. 


XVII Star Twice, once last month and again yesterday, I asked the cards if the horrific Gulf oil disaster meant global environmental destruction. And believe me, I was prepared to see and painfully accept Death or Chaos. But both times the Star appeared. So let us hold on to Hope. Even if Death is in our future (which of course it is, one way or another), let us keep our hearts open and our souls striving for that which is beautiful and good and blessed.
 The Star is the Queen of Heaven. She made me think of the other Queens in the Tarot of the Crone: the Moon as the Queen of Ghosts and the Sun as the Queen of Light. But back to the Star, to She Who Shows Relation.




1. Where does she guide you to dig deeper? 2. What patterns in your life emerge with a wider view? 3. What process of healing needs your deepest compassion and your most open arms?

XVIII Moon A couple other cards had been on my mind, but then I looked up at the moon last night, during a break in the clouds. All I could think then was, "There she is, there's the Moon. The Moon, the Moon, the Moon." Can we look at the card and remember her face in the sky? Can you remember the times you've gazed up at the Moon and been transported or inspired? Become fervent, calmed, nostalgic, beloved, or disturbed? What has the Moon in the sky meant to you, when you were a child, and as you grew? Remember the Moon full, eclipsed, as a crescent, all the ways she can appear. Remember when a glimpse during the day surprised you. Remember how her face could follow you wherever you went. Remember your magical moments. For this night, whether you can see her in the sky or in your mind, let the Moon fill you with magic, with the possibility of the improbable, with the ability to turn around and become full and shining and beautiful. When the magic of the Moon appears, you may feel, "This could all be illusion!" Them look at the world you live in. Look at how you manage within it. Look at yourself as a creature of Earth and how you manage being that. If you are not having major delusions about the reality of these things, then it is also likely that you are not deluded about the magic enveloping you, and the power you can have to channel that.
 


"Trust me," says the Moon, and you want to, but with that smile and those eyes, you know a thousand things more may be behind them.
 


But trust her.
 


Because if you cannot trust this great and deep reflection of your own soul,
 then what will you do?




XIX Sun Winter Solstice 2009 A poem inspired by the Sun card and the season.
 Though it be the darkest night
 Be brave, my dear, 'tis not the end.
 The Queen of Heaven sows seeds of light
 Believe the Sun will rise again. Darkness is the fertile ground within which seeds of light may take root and
 grow. Darkness is rich and darkness is crucial, but it can be a hard hard place
 to be.
 


Let the Queen of Heaven, she who holds planets as well as their children in her arms, speak to you now.
 


1. How do I endure this darkness?
 2. What is the potential here?
 3. What is the light that is coming?
 4. How can I help the light grow?


My reading with this spread. 
 


1. How do I endure this darkness?
 Two of Cups. By opening my heart only to what and who I love beyond all reason. By opening my heart only to those who are open in return. By opening up to the depths of my soul.
 


2. What is the potential here? 
 Grandmother of Swords. My writing will include this passion. My words will express my true heart, and in so doing, may touch another's.
 





3. What is the light that is coming? 
 Death. Perhaps a final end to my on-the-fence-ness about being out of work, a final release of the expectations of my previous career, so I may more fully embrace the creative work that is my heart's desire and possible purpose. 
 4. How can I help the light grow? 
 Strength. By staying grounded and healthy in my physical body, so I may let goddess and greatness shine through me. By bringing together my passion with my intellect. By finding the discipline to live this every single day.

XX Calling Calling. I think of it as the superhero card. The colors of red and blue echo the colors of Superman and Wonder Woman's outfits. The Crone says to us: let's be heroes and goddesses and crones together.
 


Let the red heart of the cloak remind us of power expressed through love, of passion through justice, and mystery through beauty.
 


Let it remind you of the blood of life that flows within you and within me and within the molten iron core of the Earth. Remember the heart does not stop when you sleep, and there are many worlds to which we may awaken.
 I associate the heart with power because love is where I get my strength. I see the heart as the place where the mind and the body may become one. And then become more than one. The blue in the card is for the powers of the mind, for wisdom and perception, and for the qualities of the spirit, for depth and peace.
 


The red and blue together create a vibrancy that's not easily harmonized by the eyes. This shows the challenge is not just of balance but of transcendence.
 


Black as always for Source. The well and the void. The Dark One.
 


The cloak can be a cloak of protection as well as a cloak of power and invitation. Imagining the cloak of the Crone falling over my head and shoulders and wrapping itself around me is my most common shielding technique. Soft, strong and flexible.
 


This card, more than many, is about a moment, a pivot in time. A choice for me, but also for more than me. The future is unknown but it's coming for me. The past is not forgotten but it does not bind me. So here I am, free, in the excruciating present. Being offered and accepting more than I can comprehend.

1. Where have I stepped up? 2. Where have I stepped through? 3. What is my greatest current opportunity? 4. Where have I fallen down? 5. Where is there a helping hand? 


6. How much farther is there to go?

XXI World I've been withdrawing most of my energy inward this winter, in an attempt to make it through the too-crazy-and-dark-out-there time without having a health problem or a depression to manage as well. Of course the big, complicated, beautiful, horrific World is still out there, and I am still part of it, whatever I think, whatever I do. When I draw this card, I normally think of the World as the totality of myself, with awareness and acceptance of all my parts. But today I saw it as the totality of life, of all the beings on this living Earth. Everyone out there and all they do. Can I be aware and accepting of them all? No, of course not. Not even if I wanted to. So what do I make of this? How do I live in the World?




1. How can I keep from being overwhelmed by the big world? 2. What do I need to understand about my relationship to the big world? 3. How can I connect with and work with those parts of the world that strengthen me? 4. What can I do about those parts that weaken me?

A Walk Through the Wands Ace

I want the power to change the world.

Two

I see a way to power.

Three I can create my world. Four Within the circle, my power grows. Five I can stand on my own. Six

All are drawn to me.

Seven But power is something more. Eight Others look to me for power in this world. Nine I find a world of power within me. Ten

The world may or may not have changed, but I have.

Ace of Wands This card reflects the root of Fire. Energy and Power live in us and through us. We know that as long as we are alive, it is so. But after all we've been through and all we live with, how can energy become fresh, simple, pure, and accessible?




1. What can I do for myself physically to renew my energy? 2. What can I do for myself emotionally to renew my energy? 3. What can I do for myself mentally to renew my energy? 4. What can I do for myself spiritually to renew my energy? 5. What does the Crone have to say about the basic nature of my energy (and how does that information affect the cards above)?

Two of Wands The power of Two, of one and another, the power to open a door or a mind or a heart, the power of polarity, of magnetism and attraction. The Two builds energy in its oscillation between, energy that will eventually give birth to the Three of Creation. My Two of Wands moment: I've been fixed on one creative project (my new novel) for some time, and I'm grateful for the progress I've made. But I explained my block toward other media and projects, my limitation of myself, as being necessary. Then a week ago I worked on another writing idea, and I've since been balancing them both. And what has opened up between them is the feeling that I can begin to do something about my biggest block - the painting of another tarot deck. It's not a leap from one to two, it's a step. Step by step, you and I can be and do more. By taking one more step now. Light one torch and then the next. The First Torch ~ This represents the impetus, what started you on this path you've been walking. What you need to remember about this fire of yours, what is important to carry forward. The Second Torch ~ This represents the additional potential you sense. The next step, or next possible alternative, to consider. Another fire you have inside. The Portal Between ~ This represents the appearance of the Source, of a piece of inexplicable Power, that comes to you through your opening up, by your growing large enough for both possibilities to be allowed to exist within you. 


Three of Wands The Three of Wands. Magic. The manifestation of energy. Now we can see the results of the combination of our intent and the space we've given it to work (shown by the fire and the cauldron). What do your results look like? Did you order snakes? If what arises is not what you desired, this spread will help you discover why.




1. What may be unfocused about my intention? How can I achieve greater clarity in regards to my desire? 2. What may be mistaken about my intention? How can I know what is best for me? 3. Have I given my intention enough space? Is there something else the space requires in order to work? 4. Is there something outside of myself infringing upon the space? Is there something I can do to address this? 5. Tell me something I don't yet know about the magic of manifestation.

Four of Wands From defining physical boundaries and necessities, we come to defining energetic ones. We know our will, we've discovered opportunity, we've witnessed magic. But energy, if not contained or directed, is either dissipated and lost or runs amok and burns out. And we need to harness our energy to keep going, to make things happen, to participate in our life's creation. We need to persevere beyond our initial offering of ourselves to the task, to ground what we've given, to make it last and let it develop. 1. What or whose energy is counterproductive to what you hope to build? 2. What is something you can do about this? 3. What is the part of yourself that, if nurtured, will increase your command over your energies?




4. What expression or acknowledgment or practice will nurture this power?

Five of Wands The Fives are all about Change. A breakout from the confines of the Four. Our environment changes and we change along with it. Evolution is just this response. Even those that refuse to change, change, for they become ever more rigid rather than ordered. Change is the requirement of Time. Tick tock. Even if you are still sitting in the same position, this second is not the same as the one before. In the Fives we recognize that inexorable flow, and we do something about it. Time is the element that connects the Minor Fives to the Major: Tradition is the part of our culture which accumulates over time, that which we embrace because it withstands the test of time, as our daily lives cannot, although each small act of our daily lives build the culture that Tradition represents. The figure in the Five of Wands steps into the spotlight in a costume designed to get attention. The white light is her truth surrounding her. Her black face is her source, her soul, struggling to be revealed. The RWS card shows conflict or competition, an assertion of one's power within a group. Tarot of the Crone does not assume a group dynamic, as a crone may live a more solitary life, but it recognizes the need to show or to speak out. To break out. Perhaps to reach a wider audience. The self-expression this card indicates may be easier for extroverts or artists to embrace. It can be a cheerleader card for putting your best foot forward or for advertising your work. It can be remind you to be more aware of how you present yourself and how others might perceive you. The assertiveness this card indicates may be more problematic if the question is about relationship; the need for such can indicate an imbalance of power has been in place. It may also indicate a time of high energy, playing the fool, and enjoying theater and adventure.

1. What is the truth that needs expression now? 2. What part of your soul reveals itself through expression of this truth? 3. What will help you express yourself more truly? 4. What has held you back from this expression? 5. What is the likely result of this expression? 


Six of Wands Last year I pulled this card in a reading and learned a new way of making magic
 from it.
 


Lou and I had stopped in NYC on the way back from Ireland (home is Portland,
 Oregon). He went out to look at museums. I stayed in the room, not up to much as
 I'd broken my foot a few months earlier, was still wearing the boot, and had
 strained it clomping around stone castles and fairy forts. I was also feeling
 the pressure of the noise and pace of the city around me, especially after rural
 Ireland. So I was in need of some shielding and protection to rest and heal
 better.
 


Normally I ask for the cloak of the crone to fall over my shoulders, but I was inspired to pull a card and got the Six of Wands. So it seemed she was asking me, instead of drawing it down, to generate the dark cloak myself, out of the power I already had within me. I only had to draw it out, or push it out. I had to feel that dark strength within each cell of my body and let it grow to infuse and then envelop me.
 


I called it Inside Out Magic. Then I suddenly realized how many of my ways of
 doing things could fit under that umbrella. The naming of it felt good; it gave
 me recognition in my own eyes. Another Six of Wands moment. :)
 The meaning of the Crone Six of Wands is not far off of the Golden Dawn's: victory, power, achievement and recognition. But the feeling is more organic and less hierarchical. Where influence comes from your creativity and charisma, not from your station. And where your power to flower comes from a deep acceptance of yourself and of the mystery that is your life. Within each of us is a dark void, an empty place. This place is never filled; that is not its nature. But things come from there. Just like inspirations and elementary particles appear from nowhere.

This is all you have to accept. The Six of Wands says: Don't dive in to the void - look out into light and beauty and affection. But acknowledge that the void is in you, and that you come from there, as the flower from the seed. Feel okay with your dark and empty places or your dark and empty ways, but don't dwell there. Not when magic is manifesting all around you, and you just have to be who you are to be part of it. 1. In what area of my life can I express creativity right now? 2. In what area of my life can I find a natural source of support? 3. What is the most important thing I need to accept about myself?




4. The time is right to take the next step in this direction:

Seven of Wands I can feel how my world shrinks as my physical strength, and sometimes my self-confidence, wanes. I recognize that I don't try as many new things as I used to. And in certain ways, I've let my world become comfortable but small, while still wishing for something greater. But how can I expect to get from here to there without taking a risk? Risk can be actual or perceived. The two are rarely the same, and many times people respond more to the latter than the former (for instance, don't go to Toronto! they've found 3 cases of SARS there!). Some fears seem reasonable to us, while others are so fraught with emotion or so vague and amorphous our reason is overwhelmed or confused. Fear is an important warning signal for real danger. So let us see it clearly for what it is. Let us not strive to be fearless, but to be brave when necessary. Let us not retreat from what is difficult or strange. Let us be willing to challenge ourselves. Let us be willing to discover ourselves. And accept that potential discomfort or embarrassment or even failure is no reason to stay small.




1. Which fear signals real danger and is a warning I need to pay attention to and prepare for? 2. Which fear is far out of proportion to reality? 3. What part of myself is hiding behind this fear? 4. What helps me be brave? 5. What steps can I take today to help me live larger?

Eight of Wands This is another of the cards that appears very different in the Golden Dawn decks (the higher numerals vary more in meaning than the lower ones when comparing kabbalistic vs. classical numerology). In the Tarot of the Crone, 8 is 4+4 or 2x2x2 -- something that is balanced and layered and built up over time. There is a management of energy expressed here. Yet the Eight of Wands is not as internal as many of the Crone cards are, as there are multiple figures shown. The force of all that fire demands an outlet, a demonstration of its power, while the Eight needs to impose structure on that force. Without an outlet, the force crashes within, and crying frustration can be the result. Without structure, the force explodes, and an outburst followed by burnout may result.




1. What is the force building within you? 2. What is your best outlet for this force? 3. What is the key to managing this force? 4. What external structure will aid in this management?

I remember my first Lammas. 1986 in Davis, California. My first goddess circle had been two months before, called and led by Emily, and she was to co-lead this ritual with me. She was planning the major part of it, and I didn't know all she had in mind. On the day, she called and said she couldn't make it for health reasons. I was on my own. I had a moment or ten of utter panic. But I did not want to let the others down, or miss celebrating the holiday.
 


I kept it simple, and it was powerful. For the main event, I kept it about the
 food we'd all brought to share (usually the refreshment came after the magical work). Each in turn put her offering into the center, the food we brought and what we infused it with. I started and said, "To my sisters of the circle, I give my courage," and put in my corn muffins baked in wild animal shapes. The next woman picked up my same phrasing, as did the next. As we were enjoying our feast of power and goodies, one woman said, "You know, that's our name. Sisters of the Circle." Everyone agreed. Naming ourselves had been under discussion at a previous meeting, and it happened just like that.


Nine of Wands The Nine of Wands casts no shadow, only ripples of power. Light and darkness recreate their ancient dance within her and the flow of power is the result. Her internal balance is not static, but is dynamic, made in each moment. And she knows both sides of Strength: the Center and the Edge.





1. What does it mean to have personal power? 2. What helps you develop and dance with power? 3. What is your center, your core of power? 4. What is your edge, your individuality and purpose of expression?

Ten of Wands This card reminds me of the recent solar eclipse. I was rained out of the viewing, but I went outside anyway. I thought about transformation. And about how, because we still keep doing so many of the same things we've always done--eating, working, talking--we can think we haven't been profoundly changed. The talking mind, with its incessant know-it-all chatter often convinces us of this. But let's fall silent now and listen. Listen to your body. Your feet and legs, your knees and hips. Listen to your tailbone. Listen to your belly. If you listen to your heart, can you hear it beating? Can you turn off enough of the chatter, inside and out? If your environment is extra noisy, you may have to do more to get there, from using physical aids like earplugs, to expending yourself in creating an energetic "cone of silence," so what goes on outside of that can't touch you so much. However you can get there, get there as best you can. Enter into the silence. Now look at the card. Enter into the darkness. Find the shamanic passageway beneath the earth to the radiance beyond. This is how you get there. Through enough silence so you can tell what has changed. Then it can shine out through the cloaking of the ordinary. Pick three cards with messages for you about this journey: 1. What you will encounter 2. What will help you through 3. What is waiting for you in the light




Beast of Wands Here Kitty, Kitty! Here comes the year of the Tiger, the lunar Imbolc, our hope for Spring, and our desire for heat and life, passion and love, power and independence. I've heard the saying, you don't own a cat, the cat owns you. I see where that comes from, but I disagree. I think it actually reveals a more dog-like point of view. Canines, and humans, are accustomed to hierarchies, statuses, and specialization of labor. IMO, the cat just doesn't think about that kind of thing. For a cat, when she perceives a need, she sets out to fulfill it. Her love is not mixed up with service or responsibility, it's about feeling it, wanting it, and getting it as best she can. Every hunt is not successful. The majority of them are not. If one sort of ambush doesn't work, he'll try another. The cat who survives does not count the failures, but relishes the successes. The cat who thrives enjoys it all. Now, I've had some strange and traumatized cats, and they still go for what they like and avoid what they don't and don't care if it pleases someone else or not. "We are Siamese, if you please. We are Siamese, if you don't please." Remember that song from the old Disney movie, "Lady and the Tramp?" Cats are who they are, with no excuses. They are supremely self-possessed. But they aren't purely self-centered. They will offer comfort when they feel your need, and what they give does not diminish them. Mother cats have been known to accept orphans of other species. I had a friend whose cat attacked a man who threatened her, driving the man out of her apartment. I had a cat who faced down a skunk so the women's circle I was holding outside would not be disrupted. Maybe you have your own story to share. I love the courage of kittens. They will leap, and it doesn't matter that the dog is twenty times their size. I admire the patience of a stalking leopard. She's hungry (or her cubs are), else she wouldn't be hunting, but she still waits for the right moment to pounce, when she feels she has the best chance for success. I love how at home cats are in their bodies, and how even quite mature ones can jump up on things much taller than they are. I currently have a cat who's fairly incorrigible. So he can bug the heck out of me, but I have to admire how being yelled at does not hurt his feelings or make him feel in any way bad about himself, or feel angry with me.

So close your eyes a moment, and invite in the energy of all the cats you've seen or known and loved and admired. Feel their confidence and beauty flowing in your blood. Put your hand on your heart. Feel the beat. Feel it repeat: I am, I want, I am, I want, I am, I want, I am, I want. This is good. This is strength. This is love. This is a gift.




Now take your cards. Whichever of the cat's gifts you felt during your meditation, pull a card for how you can get more of that in your life. Pull a card for courage, for confidence, for grace, for self-love... for all of the above.

Additional cat thoughts: I wandered in the rain in a different neighborhood today, walked into their local library and pulled a book off the nearest shelf. "The Bedside Book of Beasts: A Wildlife Miscellany" by Graeme Gibson. I found this about fear, predator and prey. 
 


"In 'The Hunting Animal' Franklin Russell describes a cheetah's strategy: it begins with the cat resting on a slight rise, contemplating a herd of hartebeest. She scarcely moves, except perhaps for a lazy twitching of her tail. Although the hartebeest bunch together, with the large males in front, they don't seem to pay much attention until the cat takes a loping run around the herd and returns to stare at them more intently from her vantage point. This manoeuvre unsettles some, but most continue to graze until she does it again. Perhaps, after another of these leisurely runs, there's a stirring among the hartebeest, and one of them loses its nerve. Because it is old or young, injured or ill, it knows the cheetah's performance has been intended to flush it out--and has succeeded." 
 


So... a few more questions. 
 


The Power of Fear Spread
 


1. In what way does fear betray me?
 


2. In what way does fear sharpen me? 
 


And from the predator's POV:
 
 


3. Where is the vulnerability in that which opposes me? 
 4. What helps me take advantage of this vulnerability? 


Witch of Wands
 This is the card of the sorceress, one who knows and uses all the powers of fire, and one who can invoke demons and set them to do her bidding. Demons, for a sorceress, can mean energy constructs as well as beings of several sorts, some of whom do live to serve and are happy if you give them a job.
 


So I got the card and thought: Okay, we'll invoke our demons at my talk at BATS. I was joking, but then I thought, why not? Why not try something different, something that challenges and requires confidence in my power and yours? Because that meaning is in the Witch of Wands as well.
 


But here we will work with our human, psychological demons, and leave the other kinds for you to mess with in the privacy of your own home.
 


Pick Your Demon ~ Our demons originate in painful or primal emotions, like fear, anger, grief, and shame. I've associated these four with the elements and the suits of tarot like this (of course you can come up with your own correspondences): 


Fear Anger Grief Shame

Air Fire Water Earth

Swords
 Wands
 Cups
 Disks


Out of these, what do you think your peskiest demon is made of? Or maybe think about one that is strangely attractive to you. Whatever you decide, select one of these emotions to work with today.
 


Pick Your Cards ~ Pick up your deck, and pull out any card that makes you think of this demon of yours. It doesn't have to represent it directly, because this isn't about you understanding tarot right now, it's about tarot becoming a different sort of tool for you. Pick anything that reminds you of the emotion you selected, for whatever reason. Don't think about it too much. Pick whatever cards you want.
 


When you happen to be looking at the cards that belong to your emotion's suit, look a little closer to see if you can find the demon hiding in them. For example, maybe the person gazing at ships on the Three of Wands is really

scowling and impatient. Spotting demons like this can help you see more ways they may manifest in your life.
 


As you look at the cards, remember each of these emotions contains a range of feeling. Fear can be anxiety, or it can be phobia, panic, or paranoia. Anger can be anything from irritation to a berserker's rage. Grief, from bittersweet melancholy or the point where you're puking from crying so hard. And shame, from mild embarrassment to full-on self-loathing. Sometimes the great hides in the small, and sometimes the petty hides in the large. Demons like to play with us.
 


Got your cards? Good. Spread your selections in front of you. If you have a lot of cards out, try to narrow them down to four or five cards that represent the most significant attributes, or the most personal and immediate for you. Don’t think you have to have this many cards though. Sometimes one is just so perfect that it's enough.
 


Pick Your Guardian ~ For the moment, set your emotion cards aside. Look through the rest of your deck again and pick out who you think would make a good guardian. Who in your deck can keep demons in their place. You can find a lot of strength in a tarot deck,
 so many kinds. Look for that which understands your particular demons. Look for the strength and the powers you most need. Sort through, and choose the one that best represents your champion.
 


When you have your card, look at it, gaze at it. Then let your focus soften on the outer and your awareness expand inside you. Let your heart open to the possibilities the guardian offers. What if this one could be always at your side, protecting you from hurt? What if this one could take on the job for you of bearing the pain and the concern? It's not like you would lose touch with it, right there by your side, but it wouldn't have to live within you.
 


Read the Cards ~ It's time for your guardian to have a conversation with your demons. Spread all your chosen cards in front of you. What do they have to say to one another? How do they relate?
 


Imagine that the telling attribute of each demon can become a tool in the hand of the guardian, and the guardian gains more power, more understanding, and more strength as they interact. Let your imagination flow with this for a few moments, to see where it might go.



 Now look at the card spread like this is a tarot reading. A reading where each card answers the same questions: How can I claim my power, and what can I use it for?

More Magic
 


It's time to cast a circle of power using our guardians and demons. Close your eyes, get centered, and let's begin.
 


We invoke the Guardian of the East, the Guardian of Fear. Imagine it taking
 shape for us. We will give it any fear that remains inside of us. See your own
 fear inside you, oily or spiky or ashen, and pull it out. Pull it out and give it to the Guardian. Let it feed it, Let it solidify it. Set your fear free to do what it does best: warn of danger. We invoke and we create in the East the EverVigilant Guardian of Fear.
 


We turn our hearts now to the South, and invoke the Guardian of the South, the Guardian of Anger. See it taking shape for us. We will give it the anger that remains inside of us in this moment. Imagine how your own anger

might look inside you, rigid or bitter or burning, and pull it out. Pull it out and feed it to the Guardian. Set your anger free to do what it can do best: spur you to action. We invoke and we create in the South the Ever-Valiant Guardian of Anger.
 


Turning now to the West, we invoke the Guardian of the West, the Guardian of Grief. See it take shape in front of you. We give it the grief that remains
 inside of us. Imagine how your own grief might look inside you, turgid or
 seeping or choking, and pull it out. Pull it out and out and out, and feed it to the Guardian. Set your grief free to do what it can do best: increase your ability to care. We invoke and we create in the West the Ever-Faithful Guardian of Grief.
 


Turning to the North, we invoke the Guardian of the North, the Guardian of
 Shame. See it take shape in front of you. We give to it the shame that lives
 inside us at this moment. Imagine how your own shame might look to you, tough or sticky or rubbery, and pull it out. Pull it out, pull it all out, and feed it to the Guardian. Set your shame free to do what it can do best: remind you to be honest and kind. Together we invoke and we create in the North the Ever-Knowing Guardian of Shame.
 


Our circle is strong, and intimate. A strong circle, with a center that flows more freely between heaven and earth. A center that is your own pure shining self.
 


Now it is time to make a wish. Make it as deep and as hard as you can. Then set it free. Now breathe. Smile. Congratulate yourself! And open your eyes.


Grandmother of Wands A few years ago I went to a weekend pagan astrology workshop given by a friend of mine. Pagan as in working with just the planets that were visible to the ancients, and in encountering the gods and goddesses that hold those planets. It was wonderful, but later on I felt confused. I usually work with just one goddess, and here I was getting messages from multiple energies and having trouble knowing what to pay attention to, and how to integrate them. Then I pulled this card, this Grandmother, and realized this was a way to handle all the varying messages. Let them all have a chance to speak, so they are no longer clamoring to be heard. Let them all speak, but remain the moderator, the one in charge, the one who decides how to respond. When I see this card, I often think of the groups I've chosen to be part of and how I participate in them. I also think of the times and places, like conferences, where scattered and sometimes isolated people gather. Gather and find a connection, connection which may last for a moment or for years. Because they have allowed themselves a moment of authentic expression. 1. What within you wants to be expressed? This can be a truth you need to speak to another, a creative project ready to manifest, or a suggested action toward the change and the life you desire. Telling us here and now could be your first step to making it happen. 2. What in your environment helps you express this? 3. What in your environment hinders your expression? Set the cards up like a pyramid with number 1 on top, so you can see that the dynamic between cards 2 and 3 provide the energy from which card 1 may emerge and be supported. 





Shadow of Wands Time for another exercise. But I'm too tired and too worn. Too weighted by expectation, by necessity, by love, by pain. Too lacking in courage, in accomplishment, in sleep, in faith. Lost in the Waste. Ah, there's the card for today then. But how can I find what to do with it, when all I see around me are burnt out remnants of creativity and power? My body is not broken, my heart still wants, my mind still ticks... it's my spirit that has flown. Or has been buried. Or is hiding. Or is worn to a shred. So what can I do? I can ask the cards. But to ask how to escape the wasteland may be missing the point. I don't need to add denial to my list of burdens. So how about this instead: 1. Where have I lost myself? 2. What aspect of me let myself be lost? 3. What aspect of the world encouraged my erasure? Then, when I better understand how I came to be here, and what this particular wasteland is about, I can ask: 4. How can my body help restore my spirit? 5. How can my heart help restore my spirit? 6. How can my mind help restore my spirit? 


Ace of Cups Although the keyword is Grace, the Ace of Cups is about feeling. Feeling so fresh and immediate, it's like the first time. Feeling so tender and acute, you know this is why you have senses. Feeling so wide and wondrous, you know this is why you have a soul. To love the world. To let the world love you. By the grace of the Queen of Heaven, we can know this connection. By her grace, we can feel. Within her grace, we have wise hearts. Fragmented and blurred bits of her hologram though we are. 1. What have I denied myself from feeling? What blocks my expression and experience? 2. Toward what wonder is my heart opening up? What opportunity for love arises for me? 3. What is my heart's wisdom for today? 


Honor your heart's advice and do something this very day.

Two of Cups If you come to the Crossroads, Hecate Trivia (Hecate of the Three Ways) asks you to know your heart, then choose. But what if you don't understand your own heart? What if it's too full, too constrained or too broken for you to hear its song, the song it still sings to you? Then you are stuck on the path, unable to choose a direction. It's time to come to know the wisdom of the heart. Desire. That which invites you to open up to the possibility of another and compels you to reveal your innermost self. That which can bond you to another in a deep and visceral way. Fluid desire, molded and colored by the world you live in. A beautiful magical thing. A risky, tricky, maybe twisted thing. How can it also be wise? Desire. That which allows your soul to flow to another's, thereby knowing a greater world than that within yourself alone. Your soul opens, your soul flows, thereby creating a greater world. How can it not be wise? How can you know? 1. What is the illusion my heart hides behind? 2. What is the strength that keeps my heart going? 3. Where do I find my heart's healing? 4. What is my heart's highest aspiration? 5. What is my heart's deepest need?

I got this card several times, from more than one deck, before my trip to Italy last autumn. The whole time I was there, I wondered about it. I went with my husband and we were in a good place; nothing changed on that front. I didn't fall in love with anyone else and neither did he. :) So I started thinking of it, not as being about me opening up to a specific other, but about opening my heart for my own sake. I meditated on opening my heart, opening myself to power and to love. And I imagined a flow of cool blue water washing through my chest, from front to back, back to front, washing clean my scabs, washing away smallness, bitterness, expectations and regrets. Then I added a golden ray of light flowing through me from top to bottom - the common "being a tree" kind of thing, connecting earth and sky through me. The rays met and mingled in my heart center. Then I added a third ray of red light flowing through me sideways, from heart to hands, hands to heart, through my hands into the world, from the world through my hands. So that what I create, what I give, how I act, will be done with love. And I felt my heart at the crossroads of all these rays. I would be not closed but open, not separate from the world or from others, but connected, connected from my center and from my power. If you stood within this flow, what would you release? What would you invite in? What intention would you set for future action?

Three of Cups I pulled this card today, and though we haven't had it before, I almost put it back. The caring and belonging of this Three is something I'd like to feel, but not something I do feel right now. It's not because I don't have good relationships, but there are times when it feels like a gulf swallows me, or layers of deadening material swathe me, and I can't feel love or connection. But here is the card in front of me, so here is the opportunity for me to address the distance I feel between the Three of Cups and me. A figure within a figure within a lady encircled by stars. I want back in. Use this spread when you feel distant from your emotions. 1. What is the nature of the barrier surrounding me? 2. What is a possible and practical step I can take to help myself? 3. What outside of myself reaches out to help me now? 


Four of Cups The four cups in this image are two separated, becalmed boats, a sliver of uneclipsed sun, and the island the figure stands on, overturned like the sun sliver to empty rather than to contain. The void of the eclipse shows in the figure's face as well. Still, she stands. But high and dry. Alone. Four is a number of structure, the kind of structure that does not come naturally to flowing water. So here is separation from flow, and withdrawal from water's instinct to merge. Four is about boundaries. In the Wands, we see a figure draw energetic boundaries for the focus and containment of her will. In the Disks, we see the boundaries of walls and physical spaces. In the Swords, we find what we can do when we rule and structure our thoughts in the ways of logic. In the Four of Cups, there is a need for, or there is the reality of, emotional rule and emotional boundaries. 1. From whom or from what am I isolated? 2. Why might I need this isolation? What is there to learn here? 3. How might I break through this isolation? What must happen for me to be ready to rejoin the entity indicated in question 1? 


4. Where do I need emotional control or maturity?

Five of Cups Hope. A nice word, isn't it, for the instability of a Five. Most people like the idea of hope. But it means we have not achieved our desire, if we're still hoping for it. So there is not happiness here, nor complete comfort. What there is, though, is an intention to turn toward, to open to, a better life, a greater love, and a deepening of spirit. This willingness is where we begin anew. Where we rebuild relationship. Think of your important relationships. With individual people you love, and with the larger community. With the animals, and with the Earth. With your self, and with your soul. Let your thoughts range, but then narrow them down. Focus on one relationship at a time for the reading, to let the messages be clear. Rebuilding Relationship Spread 1. What is the source of the wound in this relationship? 2. What can I do to help heal this wound? 3. What is the potential of this relationship? 4. What can I do to support this potential? 5. What is the key that unlocks my heart? 


Six of Cups A life of meaningful connection is often a matter of intention. The universe is not empty of consciousness or opportunity, but made of these. You are part of this universe. Not separate but interwoven, embedded, absolutely awash in this world. The universe holds you, and speaks to you, in every moment, in every being you encounter. Look for the ones that echo within you. Listen to them. Accept their offerings. 1. What has been trying to get my attention? 2. How has this been trying? 3. What is its true message? As the world touches you, you cannot help but touch her back. So make it mean something. What you do with a focused spirit and an open heart can change the world. What you do when your emotions flow with both strength and grace is pure magic. Find the threads that connect you--to another, to your past, to the heart of the earth--and open the path for power to flow. 1. What small act can have great impact? 2. What helps me focus? 3. What helps me open? 


Seven of Cups Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. What have you been dreaming lately? Do you ever use tarot cards to help interpret your dreams? Picking a card for each significant character and event. What if some events in your life are just as symbolic? Pick a card for them too. The Seven of Cups. Fantasy. Lots of things may be on your mind these days, so peaceful quiet is not always easy to find. The use of fantasy, daydream, trance, or creative visualization can bring you to altered states (hopefully more peaceful, and at least more enjoyable) while giving the busy mind something to do and to build to help the soul feel engaged or fulfilled. You know this is one card where one of the common meanings of "choose one dream because the others are illusory" really bugs me. It's a judgment placed onto the card right from the start. As if dreaming lots of things were a bad thing, and not a powerful and magical ability. It's the interpretation of someone who is nervous about repressed desires. You don't edit before writing, else creation never happens. Or throw up obstacles at a brainstorming session, lest you stifle the flow of ideas. But this is not just freedom of the mind, as in the card of Imagination, this is about letting the heart and soul explore who she is and what she needs. The common thread to all your dreams isn't another dream. It's you who are the vessel and container of all your dreams. You, who are the magic cauldron. You encompass more than one life, more than one reality, more than one dream. And that's a good thing. Don't pretend to be smaller than you are. Remember now, what was once your wildest dream? What about it impressed you the most? Think of your wisest dream, your most terrible dream, your most beautiful dream. Your most erotic dream or most powerful dream. Your most significant dream. Do you have dreams for all of these? Can you create a fantasy to answer each of these?

1. What helps set your soul free? 2. What hinders your soul's freedom? 3. What part of your soul needs your acceptance?

In the Seven of Cups from the Tarot of the Crone, there are six goddess figures, where the cups are the creative power of their wombs, all contained within a larger figure. This comes from my own belief overlaid on the card, that all our dreams come from our limitless soul. And following any of our dreams can lead us to this deep and wonderful place. Another thing this card says is that dreams aren't purely a mental activity, but come from our passion and our bodies as well as our minds. So now let's try an exercise to open up to the messages and dreams that may live in parts of ourselves we might not be so consciously aware of. Close your eyes and get comfortable in yourself. Breathe and relax. Know that you are safe and that all you may experience in opening up will be a gift of insight. Breathe. Relax. Bring your attention within, and hold it there as you breathe in and out. Now pull your attention down, all the way down into your belly. Hold it there, and breathe. Place your hands on your belly if you like, to help remind you where to keep your attention. Breathe and relax. Observe. Let your belly speak to you. Let an image, a thought, a feeling, or a memory arise from this deep and powerful place. Remember this, but let your attention move on now, and rise up to your heart. Bring your hands to your heart, and breathe. Hold your attention here in your heart, and observe. Let your heart speak. Let an image, a thought, a feeling, or a memory arise from this devoted and tender place. Breathe. Relax. Remember. Shift your attention to your hands now, letting them lie open and relaxed in your lap. Imagine you can feel the shape of your dreams inside your palms. What might your left hand hold? What might be in your right? Let it be whatever it may be. Whatever comes, no matter how simple or strange it may seem, has something important for you. Breathe and relax. Let your attention become diffuse now, spreading from hand to hand, from heart to belly to head to toes. Hold this whole of you, feel this whole of you, and observe any sensations, images or thoughts that arise.

Now bring these visions back with you, the gifts from your belly, from your heart, from your hands, and from your whole. And bring your attention back, to the outside world, to this room you're sitting in now. Take some time to review your experience. Write it down if you like. Begin with a simple description, then free associate from there, and let it lead where it will. Or sketch it, beginning again with a simple outline, then embellish the scene how you like. Whatever you choose to do, the important thing is not how good it looks or sounds, what is important is that you are expressing what is within you. This is how you can put your visions out into the world. This is how you can make them real. Now let's get out our cards again. Shuffle them and draw five cards for your personal vision spread. And see what the cards have to say, what they can add to your experience. 1. What is the dream my belly holds? 2. What is the dream my heart holds? 3. What is the dream my left hand holds? 4. What is the dream my right hand holds? 5. What is the dream I hold with my whole self?

Eight of Cups Sometimes it's not the beginning of things that's hard, it's the continuing. It's going deeper and further. The willingness may be there, but not the ability, energy, knowledge, or focus. Let this card tell you something today about continuing further on your path with a full and open heart. (Reverse right and left designations if you like.) Right Foot: What propels you. Left Foot:

What grounds you.

Right Hand: What to reach for. Left Hand: What to hold close. 


Center:

Where the heart resides.

Nine of Cups The illustration in this card seems inspired by Dr. Seuss. Here emotion becomes playful, but not less powerful. The heart is engaged in a new level of creativity and communion (3x3). When I was creating this card, I felt the Nine of Cups energy strongly, but nothing was coming through as an idea for the composition. The feeling washed away thought. I had to just pick up my pencil and make a curving line, a full shape. I tried to give it an independent life, to make just a bit of the swelling wave spill onto the paper. This card is what happened. Then I had to try to explain what I meant with it after. :) --Though now that I write this I see the elements at work, how this much Water cannot be supported by Air but can be by the practicality of Earth, the picking up of the pencil. I invite you to engage in what you love, in all you love and in all you are. Ask all the pieces of your heart to come together, even the bits you may have scattered widely and recklessly, and sing a song of your deepest devotion. Frame the flow of your feeling in a moment you will remember. Build a housing for your goddess or special spirit friend, somewhere they can live. It can be any size or shape, from teddy bear to temple, but make it real. Take your love to the next level. Pick up to three cards to advise you, and celebrate your journey. 


Ten of Cups Drop all the barriers. Feel everything. Let it loose. Say it all. Scream it, cry it, feel it, sigh it. Surrender to love and it will transform you. It's not about what you can do or have or be. It's about what you can experience. 1. What is a barrier between me and a fully experienced life? 2. How does that barrier come down? 


3. Where is a valuable experience waiting for me?

Beast of Cups The Frog knows when the slightest touch of moisture is present. It is then she awakens and sings again the names of her goddess. Without this connection and inspiration she remains inert, rather than exquisitely sensitive and alive. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

What presence is necessary to juice up your life? What is its most divine aspect? What is its most irritating aspect? How can you find balance between these? What is your song? 


Witch of Cups I've drawn this card several times in the past month, and it feels like it is challenging me whenever I see it. Because I am having trouble embodying this power, and I want to move from floundering in the depths, whatever interesting visions I may discover there. I want to move within the watery world of emotion and intuition with volition and direction. I want to move with grace and meaning. So how can I get from here to there? What will help me integrate the powers of the Witch?




1. 2. 3. 4.

The Power of Volition The Power of Direction The Power of Grace The Power of Meaning

Grandmother of Cups This card was in my mind again when I mentioned promising my spiritual teachers to pass on their knowledge. Books, my friends and my beloveds all teach me, but when I say spiritual teachers I mostly mean Emily and KiNi (Hekate too, but that's another matter, literally!). These women will never know if I keep my promise. I never promised to Emily out loud and KiNi is dead. But how does one fulfill an open-ended promise? I've already performed the act KiNi asked for specifically, and when only a few Crone cards existed and I didn't know I could finish them, Emily reassured me, saying I had already brought more beauty and wisdom into the world than most people she knew. So am I absolved? I see the Grandmother of Cups and all I think of is what else there is to do. Truly, it's not so much a promise that's at stake, but an attitude of reverence. And it's not so much being a teacher, or a student, as knowing oneself as part of a continuum, part of the flow. The depth and the light and the power and the love. The connection above all. The inner robe of the Grandmother of Cups is the same red as those of the young ones, for she remembers being one of those with passionate need. Her hands are almost crab-like, for she embodies the primeval. Her face is kind and thoughtful, and she embraces hope for the future. She creates a temple in which swim the waters of time. 1. What does she want you to remember? 2. What does she want you to look forward to? 3. What will help you feel yourself within the flow?

Sample Reading

1. The Crow. Heart and Soul Grandmother wants me to remember the times I felt free. The times I was clear on my direction, because I could choose another at any time. She asks me to look from a different point of view, a look at myself from outside myself, and see what I can learn from that. 2. The World. She wants me to look forward to a time when all the aspects of my life come together. Bringing together the wife and mother of the Empress with the mystic of the Priestess is just one part of it. She wants me to look forward to claiming, experiencing and embodying the totality of my life.




3. The Godmother. Here she is, appearing in her own reading. Her shape as a home or temple strikes me as I look at her now. And the middle red cloak, how it may be a doorway, and in this aspect, is reminiscent of Crossroads, Death and Calling, an intense trio. This Grandmother embraces them, all the power and passion. The dark and the light. I can imagine entering this doorway into her embrace, and her holding me, my dark and light, my child and wisewoman.

Shadow of Cups The exoteric meaning of the Shadow of Cups is the experience of being completely overwhelmed with emotion, so much so that one is incapable of any action, direction or logical thought. But there is an esoteric meaning that I want to share. A friend said something to me about the tremendous amount of energy the Earth has released, and the Moon in her nearness is offering a great deal as well. I've felt some of this. I've been unable to sleep well the past couple weeks, as if I've drunk much too much caffeine. I pushed through to finish up my latest project, and I've been anxious to find a new focus, and to jump on what I need to do or should do next. I bounce between one idea and another, as different impulses push me this way or that. I want to take some kind of action, whether it's an attempt to preserve myself and my quality of life, or offer something empowering to others. But nothing seems to be working, and so my anxiety escalates. This card suggests that when huge things are happening, whether inside or out or both, jumping into anything is not the course to take. Rather than leaping into a forced or incomplete or painful channeling of the energies around, can I just give myself to listening to Earth and Moon and Soul? In the boundless swamp of the Shadow of Cups, in the withdrawal from action and rationality, we can open ourselves to incredible depths. We can experience powers beyond usual thought or understanding. We can listen to the great ones, just listen instead of speak. Just listen, instead of chatter or scream or cry or shut our ears. And wait, without rushing to fill the silence or the emptiness or the pain. Wait to hear something deep and powerful and meaningful. So, if you will, this is your task (and mine) in the week or weeks to come. To listen until you hear. Then try to translate that into whatever form it may take, and share it with the rest of us. 





Ace of Swords The Ace of Swords is the power of perception, the power in your mind, the power that is your mind. Perception is everything, some people say. While I won't go that far, I'm sure you have experienced how a change of mind changes the world you live in. And how you have seen what others have not, or cannot. Last night I was thinking of this card. I asked myself, how can I open up a new world of perception? I imagined the great eye in this card being my third eye (a really big third eye). I imagined it slowly opening. I felt the habitual tension in my forehead release as it opened. Then I looked around to see what I could see. In doing this, I look for what was not in my mind before I opened the eye. Static in the form of random thoughts, background noise in the form of physical awareness of my body and surroundings, these things remain, but I don't give my attention to them. I look for what else has appeared in my mind, even the smallest thing. Then I focus on that and try to expand my perception of it, looking closer. Just seeing, not yet analyzing, because there will be plenty of time for that later. I accept what is given, for even the smallest symbol can have deep meaning when I explore it without judgment. 1. What area of my life needs to be looked at anew? 2. What will help me open my eyes to this new perception? 


Two of Swords This card represents some pretty cool qualities of our minds. Memory, the ability to look at something that happened before, the ability to store information. Reflection, the ability to see or understand something new from the old data. And most importantly, self-knowledge. When we use memory and reflection to become aware, we don't make the same mistake twice. We gain the ability to make better decisions. Memory: What piece of the past is holding me back from a better future? Reflection: What does this mean to me now? What is a new way of looking at this?




Awareness: What is real and right for you? What is your truth? How does knowing this shed light on a decision you've been wrestling with?

Three of Swords Many of us want insight. We want information and direction that comes from wisdom or spirit or destiny or our deepest selves. We might pull cards for it, or meditate for it. We may feel blessed when it comes to us "out of the blue." Then we get it: a great idea, a moment of illumination, the knowledge of our next step, the sense of our true path. And it's wonderful. But sometimes... it doesn't last. Does that mean the insight is no longer valid? Has our situation changed? Have we? Or do we follow its lead only until we encounter an obstacle, until fear or doubt arises, until our courage or energy flags? If so, is that who we want to be? 1. Pick a card to remind you of a true and important insight you have received in the past, one that is still valid for you now. You may do this consciously or randomly. Cards for the next questions should be selected at random. 2. What has been getting in the way of your acting on or expressing this insight? 3. What can you do about that obstacle? 4. What will help you further along the path this insight has revealed? 5. What part of yourself will grow in response to following this path? 


Four of Swords Before the season advances further, let's take a breath. Step back for a moment from the concerns of the day and the drama of life. Breathe. Step back to take a look at a situation without the weight of emotion or the impulse to react. In the Four of Swords, we invoke the power of Reason, not to rationalize but to analyze. As wildly as we may dream, we know what logical thinking is: All men are mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore Socrates is mortal. And is not: Grass is green. This lime is green. Therefore this lime is grass. The results that reason offers are not the only things to consider, but do consider them. Wishing may not make it so. Fortuna may not turn her wheel. Looking back, reason sees patterns. Looking forward, reason sees probabilities. Find a moment of calm and clarity this weekend and you will find a truth about a troubling situation. You may have asked the cards about this, but now it's time to ask yourself alone. Given what has been, given what is, what is the logical outcome? Lose the noise, lose the propaganda, and let yourself see, with neither hope nor fear, what is likely to be. After that you can look for loopholes or make a plan or draw a card--whatever you decide to do about working with or against or around this outcome.

Five of Swords Contradiction. Confusion. Illogic. B does not follow A. Maybe C does, or maybe 23. Paradox. "This sentence is a lie." Paradox cannot be removed from a system that references itself. As humanity always does whenever we attempt to understand who and what we are, and where we might go from here. When this card appears, our minds cannot find meaning in what we are perceiving. But this is still a Swords card, so don't look to emotion or things or pure power to provide meaning either. Accept the tension and discomfort, and continue to perceive. Be like a recorder, and don't judge or analyze. Just perceive. And see how it stretches you.




Look steadily at what confuses you. Notice where your discomfort lies; notice where it grows. Listen to what this says, about you and about the nature of perception. Let your beliefs be challenged, for there is always more to learn. Be wrong; it will not destroy you. How can you learn to think differently about this?

I picked a card for myself. What do I need to think differently about right now? I got the Witch of Swords. It's not what I'm focused on that needs to change, but what I think about being focused, what I think it's doing for me. Being so single-minded may appear to be the best way to get things done, since there is measurable progress. But part of what I want to accomplish requires other people, and this Witch's staring eyes and pointy, poking stick are not going to motivate them. Maybe I can communicate and share my vision better, so the project becomes about where we can go together, not just what I see and what I want. Also, what seems like unproductive time could be more important than I realize; it may develop a project into something less one-dimensional. My vision may be so clear that I think another's vision will derail me, but it is more likely to add depth and unexpected harmony.

Six of Swords Moving from Five to Six we find a glimpse of order and beauty. We find patterns in the universe, in the structure of life. It's not just in snowflakes and crystals, it's in honeycombs and in the rings of carbon atoms that make up the containers of our bodies. In the image, 6 abstract crone heads, their faces become panes of glass, have come together. Their joining allows the brilliance of a brighter light to shine through. The Six of Swords allows us to see the connections we can make. We can tell where, and if, things fit, and how we can use what we have in our lives to create something fine, allow our light to shine. 1. What is the most important piece to fit into the pattern of your life right now? 2. What does not fit and is not important to the great design of your life?




3. What resource helps you put it together?

Seven of Swords Sacred seven, lucky seven, wild seven, spirited seven. Seven ancient planets, goddesses and gods, mighty travelers among the stars and across the void. In the realm of the Mind, seven represents our power of imagination. I drew this card for us tonight. I also felt I drew it for me. It made me think in a new way about what I might do with myself on my retreat, my seven nights, aside from walk in the woods and gaze at the moon. I'd already thought of bringing notebooks and sketchpads, and decided against books. No voices except mine and the land's. Maybe the property's caretakers, if I happen to bump into them while using the facilities. I've traveled alone. I've been in natural places with small groups. I've never done anything so solitary before. I long for it, and don't know for sure I will like it. I know I want to find out. So why should these be ordinary writing days, where I only work on my novel? Although I enjoy that, this card makes me ask - what else could there be? What if I really heard voices and recorded their conversations and their prayers? What if I drew an entire tarot deck in a week? What if I discovered a new superpower? The Seven of Swords is the What If? card. Negatively, we can worry ourselves to death with what ifs, or we can use the same questions to break through. Getting some far-fetched ideas going lets us leap off the anxiety treadmill, temporarily and sometimes permanently. Imagination is the mind's power to push through, and to envision solution. It opens doors that were closed in our minds, and we find things are different because of it. 
 Look at the Seven of Swords. Look at the top pair of eyes. Say to yourself, these are my eyes. Can you imagine what they see? Look at the middle pair of eyes. Say to yourself, these are my eyes. What do they see? Look at the lower pair of eyes. Say to yourself, these are my eyes. What do they see? Maybe it is not what they see, but the way they see, the way they sense. 
 Look at the central eye. It's dominant, and yet it invites you to look at all the others all together.

Looking at this card, you might think, "Those are some heavy eyelashes for a Crone. What, she can't see good enough anymore to put on her mascara properly?"
 


But they are there to signify the radiance that comes from looking into the
 black of the void and finding something beautiful there, from looking for the
 unusual and unexpected, from seeing what has not yet been seen. 1. What power of sight and of mind do I have in the upper worlds? 2. What power of sight and of mind do I have in this middle world? 3. What power of sight and of mind do I have in the underworld? 


4. What is the heart of these powers, and the balancing point among them?

Eight of Swords Eight as 4 + 4 is structure built upon itself. In the world in the Mind, I saw this as Teaching, as organized information. Today I am seeing it as words. The building blocks. Words create the structure of our thoughts. So let's do some Words of Power at this magical time. There is a specific format I first read about using Words of Power in Marion Weinstein's book Positive Magic: Occult Self-Help. It's been a while, so here is what I remember about this. The text in the brackets is what is modified for your particular situation. It works by invoking a great power in the universe and describing one of its features. Then by recognizing yourself as part of All That Is, making this feature part of you too. Claiming the power, and wrapping up by asking this power to manifest for good and according to free will to keep it positive and not manipulative. You can also reference specific deities if you like to work that way and they align with your desire, say Artemis for keeping the wild, free spirit alive within you, or Demeter for material abundance. There is One Power, which is [strength of heart]. 
 And I [Ellen] am a manifestation of this Power. 
 Therefore, [strength of heart] is mine here and now. 
 I release all negativity that may be preventing the free flow of [strength of heart] in my life. 
 [Strength of heart] is mine, here and now.
 For the good of all and harming none, According to free will, 
 So mote it be.


Nine of Swords The light welling from within is key in this card.
 


Not everything can be made explicit, not everything can be proven (which makes the keyword of this card, "Proof," purposely ironic). No words ever completely describe the reality of the simplest thing. Poets and storytellers need not worry, there is always more to say.
 


A million words can be used to describe a face, but successful recognition
 depends upon a single view. We do not know how we know some things, we just do. We are embedded in tacit knowledge. What we call in animals instinct, what we share in, what saturates our being and all our lives: Consciousness. How does one prove a conscious being? I am therefore I am.
 


Not only does the body have its own inherent, tacit, non-explicit wisdom, so
 does the mind. Wisdom that all the mind's tools can only hint at. Like how it
 knows to use those tools. Like: Tell me how you learned to dream. Or how you understood certain sounds as speech.
 


The spikes are how you support what you know. The decisions you make, the thoughts you have, the words you say: how congruent are these with your inner beacon, your awakening consciousness? This will tell whether you sit heavily or lightly on those points.
 A bed of nails is so much less painful than a single spike because your weight is distributed over its many points. So when your thoughts are in alignment, when your words and decisions are in congruence with your philosophy and your ethics, you may know peace. Draw one to three cards to represent those repeated thoughts or decisions that are seriously out of order and end up causing you pain. For each card, draw two more. One for why you hold onto this, the other for what will help you realign its energy in your life.




Ten of Swords The Ten of Swords, the piercing revelation. We wanted to see and to know, but did we want to know *this* much? Oh well--too late! Now we know. And the challenge is to work with the new awareness, to act on it or integrate it or find our way despite it, and not fall into depression or denial, paralysis in the present or retreat into the past. When information flies at us from so many directions, another challenge may be in recognizing the crucial element within the chaos. Let your mind flow over thoughts that have already come to you, ideas, flashes or dreams you've been pondering the meaning of. Pick one card that will help you identify what is most important to give your attention to right now, and pick another card for what will help you make the changes this insight calls for.




Later, pick another card for your future, for how to stay strong as a seer, whatever challenges may come.

Beast of Swords This spread invokes the wisdom of the Crone to give clarity and advice in times of uncertainty, or when you’re feeling just a little too close to the subject at hand. Imagine that the Crone has put on her feathered cloak to have a look at your situation from an unclouded and higher perspective. The cards are laid out in the shape of a flying bird: 6 4 5 1
 2 3 1. She sees the pattern: the overall view and meaning of the situation. Also recurring cycles from your past that may apply to the current situation. 2. She sees what is hidden: a force acting on the situation of which you are not yet consciously aware. 3. She sees what is obvious: something you know but which requires you give it more attention or importance. 4. She sees your strength: what you can and should call upon to help you in this situation. 5. She sees your weakness: what you need to be wary of in dealing with this situation. It can apply to modes of behavior that otherwise are fine but will not work well in this particular case. 6. She knows where to strike: the approach you should take, the opportunity you have for action, and the best way to effect change on your behalf. 


Sample Reading

The querent is a pagan high priestess whose working partner (and high priest) had recently passed away, unexpectedly but peacefully. They had been in the middle of many projects and had quite a few students. She wanted perspective on how she might handle this sad and difficult situation and insight into where she personally needed go from here. 1. She Sees The Pattern ~ Grandmother of Swords
 The Grandmothers have a mastery of their element (in this case, mental powers, and words in particular) and use it for the benefit of their families and their communities. Here the card indicates that the querent acts as a speaker of truth for her students, and feels a great responsibility towards them. The truth she speaks may also appear in the guise of fantasy, where the querent creates a channel for the imagination. The maturity of the Grandmother says the querent is quite capable of standing on her own, perhaps growing more into her power now that she is on her own. 2. She Sees What Is Hidden ~ Two of Cups
 The querent has a great longing for union inside of her that she may not have noticed so much before, since the reality of her partner had helped to fulfill it. But the card in this position says this longing is not just about her loss. It is about wanting to connect with God/dess in deep and real ways. This desire, though it is not always comfortable, is what makes the querent a good priestess. 3. She Sees What Is Obvious ~ The Crossroads
 Obviously, the querent must now make some decisions regarding her future spiritual work. What might not be quite so obvious is the "Major" nature of these decisions. That they relate to her finding her heart's desire and soul's path. Though she may know the "guts" of her desire, "to serve the Goddess" for example, what remains is to know the best way she might do that. Bringing spirit into matter can be done in so many ways, through service, art, parenting or teaching to name just a few. It is time for her choice to come from her heart. It is also time to recognize that following one path means not following another and that it's okay to leave some things behind. Not only okay, but likely necessary.

4. She Sees Your Strength ~ Two of Disks
 Her partner has been her strength in many ways, and what she has learned from him continues to be her strength. Also she has learned much from the experience of working with another in this way -- about how to allow differing energies to complement each other rather than conflict, and how with another one may build something greater than either might have done alone. She can depend upon her ability to elicit cooperation from others. 5. She Sees Your Weakness ~ Four of Swords
 In the Grandmother of Swords we have seen the querent's powerful mental abilities and also her feelings of responsibility. Reason in this position indicates she is using these abilities to talk herself into something, perhaps attempting to maintain the commitments all by herself. She is approaching questions of students and projects with her reason, thinking "well I could do this with that and then I could do that with this and then I could..." But this planning doesn't address the emotional and spiritual issues that have arisen. And the fact remains that these are the primary issues, that the previous energies in the teaching and projects really are no more, and some things are likely to remain unfinished. 6. She Knows Where To Strike ~ The Fool
 Some time out is definitely called for. With the Fool, if the querent doesn't make this time for herself, the Crone will likely make it for her. Before she makes the decisions, before she decides to continue on as best she can, or make adaptations to the new situation, she needs some time to return to the Source. To lay it all down in Her lap and be as a child again. To be renewed and reborn. To truly wipe the slate clean and allow something brand new to emerge. To remember again why she started on this path in the first place. It is time to set aside, or pass along, the responsibility for others, and to say goodbye to the students and to the projects -- likely not forever -- yet without a real goodbye she will not be giving herself the freedom she needs right now to make the best choices, and the best new start.

Witch of Swords I had thought I would focus on the Grandmother of Disks at this time, with her gifts of hearth, family, and chocolate. But the Witch of Swords popped into my brain as I sat down to write, and she would not be dismissed, even with the other card in front of me. "The other may be what you want," she said, "but I am what you need." And she was right, because I was dillydallying and considering putting this off, although tomorrow will be busier than today. She knew. So: the Witch of Swords. Unlike the Ace with its single eye the Witch has two. Two eyes provide more than perception, they provide depth perception. She sees not only clearly, she sees through and she sees far. Illusion and deception do not confuse her. She keeps her eyes on the prize. Only these two eyes show of her face, because what's important is the focused thought that arises from her seeing. The rest of her face is hidden, and it gives her a sinister appearance, as if she may be an assassin or a terrorist, because there is danger, and power, in being single-minded. There is danger, but as an adversary, the Witch of Swords can pull from you your best effort. As an advocate, she can show you just where the saboteurs lie in wait, and how to break through apparent obstacles. But she will have no patience with you if you don't pay attention to her warnings. "Look sharp!" she'll say, but only once. And this special quality of attention and focus, of perception and understanding, is her great gift.

1. What needs my attention right now? 2. Who or what out in the world is not being my friend? 3. What is my best approach to dealing with this non-friend? 4. Who or what is living inside me and is not being my friend? 5. What is my best approach to dealing with this non-friend? 6. What will help me hone the blade of my perception? 7. What will help me sharpen the focus of my intent? 


Grandmother of Swords The Grandmother of Swords asks us to be aware of the words and thoughts that shape us, and to put out there the words and thoughts that create a new or better way. A good time to create your own affirmations, your own words, for a change you want to see in your world. 1. What thoughts are hurting me? 2. What helps me break free of these thoughts?




3. What can I create in its stead?

The inspiration for the Grandmother of Swords is the American Southwest storyteller doll (a larger speaker holds the small listeners), although I realize being hooded (like a crone) and blue (for the vastness of thought and wisdom) gives the image a more northern feel. Her face, the little ones' faces, and the stars are the yellow of clarity, perception and imagination. Storyteller and mythmaker, she takes charge of her language and her communication. She shares not just what she knows, but what she dreams. One thing she knows: A good story can change the world. A good story can change the world. In Tarot, we speak of archetypes and may think of them as universal and as eternal. The reality beyond the real. But you know, a good story can change them too. From any deck you choose, select a Major Arcana card. Select one that depicts an archetype with which you don't feel strongly connected. Or one with which you want to feel more deeply connected. From any deck you choose, select any card to represent you. Not your sign or number or best self, but just as you feel right now. Set these two cards in front of you, with the Grandmother of Swords above. She is going to begin a story like this: Once upon a time, there was a [being identified with you] who went on a journey to discover [being or thing identified with the selected archetype]. And the story will end with "happily ever after." But you have to fill in the between part. Because that's how the magic will happen. That's it. Just write a story. It doesn't have to be entertaining or well-written; it doesn't have to be smart or even make sense. But make it honest. Make it real for you. There is a choice in this exercise. You can write the story that begins with your archetype going on a journey to discover you. 


Shadow of Swords 
 Abstract thinking makes the machines that make work easier. Abstract thinking created the computers that allow us to be sharing this moment. I'm glad I don’t have to tote my laundry down to the river and pound it with a rock. Though they often come with a cost, machines create ease and efficiency. Even marvels.
 


But you are not a machine. Are you thinking too much? Have you lost heart? Is awareness overwhelming you and causing you such pain that you forget what's good? Have you removed yourself from your source of strength, from your life? Have you forgotten your power to act within this world? Do you pick apart the actions of others? Do you pick apart yourself? This is the shadow side of your intelligence. Coldness. Withdrawal. Denial. Rationalization. Inquisition. If you would face this Shadow, and free your intellect from its dark side, look both within and at your behavior, and see if and how any of these live in you. Pick a card for each shadow, using the words above. Not all of these shadow forces may be at work in you, but be willing to look at each. Rely on your intuition, but don't accept the easiest answer. Look deep. Then turn it around, and fight back.

Sample Reading

Coldness. Seven of Wands. To me this fiery card first said that coldness is not really my problem. But another look says that I can feel separated from my passion, and keep it locked up, frozen inside of me. Trying to control what needs setting free, because the power in this card is freedom itself. Withdrawal. Ace of Swords. This is known to me, this is what I often do. I believe I do it with clarity and for good reason, but I must remember how seductive it can be, how powerful it can feel, and not forget to look at my motivation every time. Denial. Ace of Disks. Another thing I know, but don't always act upon, the not being in touch with my body and taking my physicality for granted. Ignoring the work and discipline it takes to stay strong and healthy. I need to set this card out and remind myself of this every day. Rationalization. Nine of Swords. Ooh, a touchy subject! Because when I do it, I believe it absolutely, that it's real and that it serves my truth. So when I realize this is happening, I need to forget my list of "points" and focus on what the light is, what exists without requiring support. Inquisition. Nine of Wands. This is such an integrated card, so contrary to the subject. So I am seeing right now how far I've come with this quite recently, how much judgment used to be a part of me, and how strong I can be without it.

Ace of Disks The body. Centering on the belly. What is the province of the belly? Hunger, for one. Hunger Spread 1. For what do I hunger? 2. For what am I starving? 3. Of what have I had too much? 4. Of what can I never have enough?

Do the cards make sense? What does your belly say? Think of your belly, your body. Center in on your navel. Once you were fed effortlessly through this, but not anymore. Look at the spiral in the navel of the Ace of Disks. The spiral is the movement of life, from birth to death. It is the creation of life. Your life. Your body. Ask her or him now what will make getting fed easier. Be patient. Listen in. Once you were fed effortlessly, but also without awareness. Now you are able to choose how to feed yourself. Ask your body what will help you make your best choices. Listen for an answer. Listening to your body. Trusting your gut. Wisdom is not just a function of the brain. Wisdom of the Body Spread 1. What does my body know that my mind has forgotten? 2. What does my body know that my heart has forgotten? 3. What will help me understand my body's wisdom?

To wrap up, give yourself a hug. Pet and pat yourself. Be glad in this moment, whatever your pains or complaints, that your body allows you to be here. I surely am. I chose Body as the keyword and focus for the Ace of Disks when I created the Crone deck. Possibly an unusual association, but I wanted Aces to stand

for the roots of the elements, and I found the root of my earthly reality was my own body. Not my stuff (home and wealth). Not what I do (job). But this. So it's not broad or generic enough. But of course, that wasn't the point of the Tarot of the Crone. The point was to be personal. To illustrate what I'd learned under cronish influence. But of course Body is more than the internal experiences explored above. Because life in the body is about survival. And survival is built on our stuff and what we do. In that way it does connect with more standard interpretations of this card.




Survival Spread Home, Work, Money. For one or all of these, lay out the following cards: 1. What I can control and should act upon 2. What I cannot control and need to be aware of 3. Where I can find an unexpected resource

Two of Disks Partnership. You, the real you, reaching out to someone or something equally real. Creating a relationship. One at a time, relationship after individual relationship, we create the foundation for a new world. 1. What current relationship needs more of my energy for it to be a force for good? 2. What current relationship is not good for me, and must be changed or released for me to succeed? 


3. What new and wonderful relationship is becoming available to me now?

Three of Disks How have we come to where we are now? How do we continue on? Not alone, even if we currently live alone. Others have influenced us, helped or harmed us, helped shape our lives. Others will do so in the future too. These are not the bonds of community, but of those more intimate. They may appear in our dreams, through our computers, or by our sides. Families of birth and of choice. Those we love and those we need. Those who need us. Make the choice now to acknowledge these connections, and to honor those who share your path. To support them as you can. To receive from them what you will. The next turn in the road may separate you, and some may be lost while others may be found. Our path is not defined by our goals alone, but by the company we keep and each step we take along the way. 1. Who supports my left hand? (This may be a living, a dead, or an energetic being, but not an object or a skill.) 2. Who supports my right hand? 3. Who needs my support right now? 4. What is the key to the cooperation that opens the path ahead? 


Four of Disks Last night was the first night this week I spent at home. Before that I was in a more temporary home, a rented cottage in Ocean Park, Washington. It was not my home for more than a few days, but it was still a place where I held the key to the door, a place that sheltered and comforted my body, and a place that held and protected the possessions I had with me. Everywhere I go, near or far, I look at the homes others have made and imagine what it would be like to live there. It seems I am always looking for home. I've certainly moved around enough in search of it (I lost count after 30 different addresses). Maybe I need to understand more about what Home is to me. After answering the first two questions, ask yourself in what way you have or don't have this in your current home. Draw another card for how you may bring this into your life, unless the first card strongly suggests its own answer. Regarding my exoteric, physical home: 1. What is most important for the well-being of my body? 2. What is most important for the well-being of my soul? 3. What do I need to know about my esoteric, inner home? 4. What is the key to creating a harmony between body and soul, exoteric and esoteric, when it comes to my home? 


Five of Disks Let's get down to work. The crone in this card is on her knees, scrubbing the floor. She squeezes her sponge or cleaning rag, and water flows out in five streams--green for the flowing of her life's energy. If she squeezes it all out, she may not have enough to finish the job, unless she had the forethought to have a bucket with more water near by [side note: it's fun and sometimes powerful to imagine what else may be in the picture, just out of sight or reach, but there to help you if you look for it]. If she stops before the job is done, she hasn't given enough and hasn't done what's needed. She's wasted her effort. Her life force streaming out is not a waste when it creates a tangible change in the world. In these modern times, we are encouraged to think of convenience as a virtue (but does it really compare to Justice or Fortitude?), and to think of not working as a good thing. Of course there are all kinds of work, and some are more unpleasant or difficult than others. But making an effort is what makes things happen. It's not something to be avoided. We're not here in this world to do nothing. Let's not automatically choose the easy way out every time. This is about outer work, so remember to interpret your cards in that context. The inner work may be part of all we do, but this card specifically tells us there is something outside of our inner world that requires our efforts. 1. Of all the tasks you've been putting off but are on your mind, which is the most important for you to tackle now? 2. What tool or resource will make it easier to accomplish this task? 3. Where can completing this task take you? 4. For who or for what have you been working too hard? 5. What can you do to make it easier or make it stop? 6. What is or can be your greatest work in this world?

Six of Disks The Six of Disks speaks to the way your life is formed and informed by the everyday choices you make, or choose not to make. This Six provides the opportunity of awareness into the physical reality of your life. You can see the results of your choices, your responses and reactions. You understand how you got here and what may be possible, and desirable, to change.




So draw six cards. Three for the past, three for the future. You are the Now, balanced between. See the patterns. Hear the messages. Know what you can do.

Seven of Disks When life becomes too narrow, the Seven of Disks offers you the open road. Get out and try something new. Get a fresh look at an old situation by shaking up your routine. You aren't asked to create a brand new road, but you are asked to go farther on the path you already know is in front of you. The way you see around the next bend is to turn the corner. The Seven of Disks is the journey without destination, but with great purpose.




1. What situation needs a fresh approach? 2. What new skills will enhance your path? 3. What action affirms your purpose?

Eight of Disks A structure of four pillars plus four walls encloses a pool of living green. Surrounding the structure is dry, open land. The walls hold the stuff of life within them, and don't let it seep out into the sand. The Eight's Security is a higher level of physical stability than the Four's Home. It is less immediate, more abstract, and often more complicated. Money, investments, accounting, and economics are indicated by this card. A reminder to think on the lessons and practicalities of these things, aside from wishes of mind, heart, and spirit that it be different. The expression of this Eight within your Body's life, indicates both a need and opportunity for a life where the daily aspects of work, family, belongings, and partnership support your efforts for a clear, strong, safe and authentic existence. Security can be so many different things. To a city dweller, it can mean a stout door and lock, or plenty of people on the streets. To a nomad of the steppes, it's a clear horizon. Having a thousand dollars in your savings account, having the right clothes in your closet, having an amulet around your neck, having your beloved in your arms. Is security the alleviation of anxiety, the freedom from fear? Yes, but of course it's more. Because things like bodily harm happen to those who worry about it and those who don't. And it's not just safety now, but preservation into the future. That's the really tricky part. Even the security found within varies, like strength to a bear, cleverness to a raccoon, swiftness to a deer, thick hide to a rhino. Take a hard look. Draw the boundaries. Fortify the dikes. Don't let your life's resources be lost through neglect. As in the Four, the Eight of Disks indicates the connection of spirit and mundane. In the pillar furthest from the viewer, see the hint of eyes and beak of an owl goddess, like those scratched in bone millennia ago. The protective walls are her outstretched wings.

Earth seems the most stable and unsubtle of elements, but the ground we depend on for our lives is fragile and mysterious. Death and loss stalk us; let the powers that be guard us as they can. 1. What personal resource is most in need of protection? 2. What action can I take to protect it? 3. What personal resource is abundant for me now? 4. How can I share this resource for the benefit of all? 5. What practicality underlies what lasting security is for me? 6. What wisdom informs what lasting security is for me?




7. What is my most insidious illusion about these matters? 8. What or who is my good guardian and adviser in these matters?

Nine of Disks The Nine of Disks shows a community of homes. Each is slightly different, but all are similar in scale. Here your life and your home is integrated into a larger community. Independence and interdependence come together. You may have online communities and far-flung friends, and these can support you in many ways, but whether you know them personally or not, you depend upon the people that physically surround you to be decent citizens, never more so than during troubled times. Your community includes not just your neighbors, but your mail carrier, the clerks where you shop, the people who help you maintain your transportation and your health. Good relations among these helps maintain civilization. One of the messages of this card is not to discount your dependence upon others, but to honor it and give to it. We all need each other. We are interconnected. No one survives alone. In what way is your community lacking respect? What can you do to remedy this and be a better citizen? In the card, each house has an open arched doorway, like so many Opportunities. Each doorway also represents a hooded crone, the living energy that created the structure surrounding it. Consciousness shapes the world, but since there are many consciousnesses here, know that we can only live together where we have made certain agreements about the nature of this world. Only together can we shape something different. What opportunity exists now that invites you to connect with others for good purpose? 


Ten of Disks Since a week ago Sunday, I've been consumed with honoring those who have passed in my own way. The work is now close enough to completion (all cards outlined, just three left to color in) that I feel I can take a breath. If the energy is flowing and compelling, well, that's what I pray for, so I don't want to ignore it. I can't take energy for granted. "Work smarter, not harder" could be the exoteric motto of the Ten of Disks. Esoterically, this card stands for the power of memory. It suggests you remember more than one small life. It suggests the path for doing so lies within your own body, or through the body of the earth, through a conversation with stone, perhaps. 1. In what area of your life should you work smarter and not harder? 2. What helps you discover the smarter way? 3. How are the old ones speaking to you now? 4. What will facilitate the conversation? 5. What is the advice they offer or the request they have? 


Beast of Disks Here comes Pig, a creature that, like life itself, is both familiar and strange. Life is what we know, life is all we know, yet how very little we understand of it. Undaunted by that, Pig ambles on. For all its complexity, life becomes simple in our most embodied moments. When physicality, whether pleasure or pain, consumes our attention. Pig knows this embodiment, this basic, real, and full existence, in every moment.




1. In what part of your life do you need greater simplicity? 2. What will help you find what you need? 3. In what part of your life do you need greater intensity? 4. What will help you implement what you need? 5. In this moment, what is the lesson of your life?

Here comes the Pig. The fat of life. The richness and immediacy of sensation. No matter your age or condition, a warm, gentle breeze on your skin feels just as fresh and lovely as when you were a child. This is the gift of life, the capacity for sensation. We do not get to choose when this miraculous sense traces instead a bleeding edge. This is its cost. The Beast of Disks can teach us to distinguish pain avoidance that is necessary for survival from that which we do to become mindless and numb. Think about this now--what are you willing to suffer or sacrifice in order to live a richer life? Nothing? Anything? Anything but what is being asked of you at this moment? After you've given this some thought, pull out your cards and answer the following questions. 1. What small but significant sacrifice is being asked of me? 2. How does this sacrifice fit into a larger picture of transformation? 3. What presently in your life holds reservoirs of unexpected joy? 4. What helps you understand the flow of giving and receiving?

Witch of Disks

My days are about to change in a big way. Next Monday I will leave home for the next two months, to live and work 400 miles away. This is something I made happen for myself, because I wanted to change my routines which had become rigid and hard to break, and I wanted to make some money and use my skills again after my long period of unemployment, and I wanted a new adventure in my life, sort of a safe and ethical way to run away from home for a while. I made this happen by thinking to call up an old boss of mine, listening to her talk about how swamped she was, and then saying, "It sounds like you could use my help." So the card I chose for this time is the Witch of Disks. Hers is the energy that recognized my need for change in my everyday life, had an idea of how to address it, and followed through with appropriate action. Hers is the energy I want to sustain me, so I can continue to create the change I want, so that I can recover more confidence and more engagement with the world, so I can feel more independent and valued, and so I can have some time and space all my own. How about you? What change do you want to see in yourself and your everyday life? What are some ideas of how to address this need? (Pick up to 3 cards for this question.) What action can you take today to get the ball rolling? 


Grandmother of Disks
 The Grandmother of Disks is a card I identify with. My space and my family are important to me and I like to make things. This card encourages me to make the things I love, and do the things I love, so I can give, sustain and feel satisfied. 
 


Tonight when I saw her, she brought up these questions. Draw one to three cards for each. 
 


1. What are my gifts?
 


2. Where will I find opportunities to use them? 
 
 


3. What is getting in the way? 
 


4. What helps me become more adept? 


Shadow of Disks You can think of the Shadow of Disks as embodying the harshest side of the cards that have come before. It may represent ill health in the body (Ace), loneliness and isolation from sources of caring support (Two and Three), losing your home or your feeling of safety (Four), labor that becomes wage slavery (Five), lack of any meaningful choices (Six), difficulty in making any movement forward, or more prosaically, your car breaking down (Seven), financial straits (Eight), a breakdown in civilized interaction and cooperation (Nine), and growing old with pain, humiliation and despair rather than honor and wisdom (Ten). In the Shadow of Disks we see various approaches to these hardships. The ant will just keep going: if here is not so good, then somewhere else might be better. And if not, it's still something to do, it's still not giving up. The spider does what she can with what she's got, tries to draw to her what she needs, depends upon her internal resources, and sets herself to endure. And the skeleton has surrendered: to death, to transformation, to struggle of this kind. The hills of the desert are bones as well, the exposed spine of some great and extinct creature: a reminder that all things pass, that all things have their time, and that for some, their time is over.

1. What does the ant have to say to you, about putting one foot in front of the other? 2. What about putting the next foot not in front but sideways, toward a different direction? 3. What does the spider have to say to you, about the best use of the resources you have? 4. What other resources are available to you that you've not previously considered? 5. What does the skeleton have to say to you about surrender? 6. What part of your struggle is taking more away from you than continuing it can possibly return? 7. What does the Crone have to say about the larger world, and how your struggles are part of that?