Fhm Singapore - January 2014

FHM GOES BACK TO

SCHOOL!

SINGAPORE’S BEST SELLING MEN’S MAGAZINE! JANUARY 2014 $6.00

INSTITUTIONS WE WISHED WE ATTENDED SCHOOL SKILLS FOR MEN

LET THE FIGHT

BEGIN! UFC COMES TO

SINGAPORE

HOW TO CLOSE THE

DEAL WITH

REALITY TV-STAR SHOWDOWN WITH ROELENE & DOMINIQUE!

A

Cont ents

01/14

[78]

ENTER UFC

The biggest fight club is here.

[9]

SCHOOL OF THOUGHT

Top non-existent academies.

[46]

STILL CAN USE The good stuff you learnt in school.

[62]

TOP TIPS

How to get it on with the girls.

ON THE COVER

Roelene (left) wears Lycra bikini, by Coco Bongo. Dominique wears Zig-zag print Lycra bikini, by Cotton On Body. Art direction: Tony Law; Photography: Joel Low; Styling: Cheryl Chan; Art direction assistance: Dannii Choo; Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair: Rick Yang using Percy & Reed London; Makeup: Rick Yang & Nikki Fu using YSL Beaute; For behind-the-scenes photos, visit Facebook.com/FHMSingapore, twitter.com/ FHMSingapore and instagram/FHMSingapore. 01/14

001

Cont ents

[82]

[20]

STAY CLASSY

Score top marks in the fashion department.

Fashion/Tech/Stuff

13 Opener Are you too cool for school? 14 Snips The latest style news that you can wear. 17 Grooming It’s okay to pamper your hair. 18 Opinion Slogan snapback: As tacky as slogan T-shirts? 28 Hardware More watches to buy. 30 Sync Black is still cool.

Q+A Just the usual, please 34 Cory Richards Thrill seeker and Nat Geo lensman.

[04] The bit where you come in

04 Talent Fiesty Rena Neo loves to be on top. 09 Eight Schools… We wish we’d attended. 10 Essays for Men Why your smartphone is making you dumb. 002

01/14

Sorting out your pleasure

78 Sports Ready for UFC? 80 Dance Breakdance to classical music. 81 Movies Fun Filth show. 82 Music Return of Marshall Mathers. 82 DVDs Motherf**er! 83 TV SAF3, not SAF. 84 Games Who let the Watch Dogs out? 84 Comics Hot new prints. 85 Movies Oscar top bets. 86 Books Read on.

Plaid cotton shirt, by New Look. Lace bra and panties, by Chalone. Hair: Reds Hairdressing. Makeup: Michelle Chin/9154-0169 using Make Up Forever.

Letters/ Essays for Men/ Countdown

TH E

S ECTION

YOU

CONTROL

To t a l K n o c ko u t Words: Gladys Goh Art direction: Pyron Tan Photography: Kelvin Chia Styling: Cheryl Chan

FHM Models 2013 finalist Rena Neo tells us what gets her blood pumping.

A

rmed with skills in both tae kwon do and muay thai, this martial arts enthusiast knows how to throw a punch. But beneath that toned body and daredevil attitude, FHM discovers a girl who’s as charming as she is sweet.

What’s the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done? Indoor skydiving at iFly Sentosa, but it wasn’t too scary for me. Where do you go to seek some adventure? I’m into martial arts; I used to do tae kwon do, and now I’m taking muay thai boxing classes. What do you think of local guys? In our culture, they’re supposed to be nice to

girls and should be the one doing most of the chasing, but not all of them are that way. What’s the worst experience you’ve had with a guy? When they ask stupid questions or say things like, “Hey I’ve seen you somewhere before.” I usually just think, yeah right. What’s the one thing you look out for in a guy? Looks don’t matter that much but he must be a man with direction; who knows what he wants.

01/14

005

Have you ever used your martial-arts skills on a dude before? No I’ve not but I’ve always wanted to though! Are guys actually intimidated by the fact that you practise tae kwon do? Not really, because I’m quite soft and don’t really like to show the aggressive part of me. Are you as adventurous in the bedroom? Yeah, I like to be on top. What is the biggest turn on? Fit bodies! You don’t really have to have abs or be overly muscular, as long as you’re not flabby. What’s your guilty pleasure? Food, chocolate ice cream especially! Tell us something strange about yourself. I talk to myself sometimes and say things like, “I shouldn’t be doing this but I know I want to.” FHM

“L ooks don’t mat ter that much but he must be a man with direction; who knows what he wants.”

Talent Cotton bra, by Chalone. Tank top, by New Look. Opposite: Lace bra and lace panties, by Cotton On Body. Ripped denim jeans, by Guess.

“I like to be on top.”

01/14

007

For Him Magazine

Editor’s Letter

Managing Director Jessie Sng Group Editor Corinne Ng VP, Business Development & Operations, Lesley Ngai

EDITORIAL

Another year has come and gone. Thankfully, like Chelyabinsk, Edward Snowden and Justin Bieber, we survived it. For those who didn’t (RIP Huang Wenyong, Gramophone, Paul Walker), we thank you for the memories. As we usher in the next 365 days, FHM is thrilled by what’s in store — Walking Dead Season 4 finale, the World Cup and Singapore’s first-ever UFC Fight Night. To kick-start proceedings, we bring you Back to School with a list of lifelong skills picked up from way back, such as how to spot a bulls**ter and how to get out of a fight. Still fixated on our raging-hormone days, we put every boy’s fantasises to print by getting two Supermodelme babes and a Japanese AV star to disrobe (or clothe themselves, depending how you see it) for our gorgeous spreads. On the flip-side Upgrade, self-taught culinary master Willin Low shows us how to throw a fab house party — and that getting dirty is part of the fun. And while you’re at it, impress your guests with unpretentious but totally awesome creations from our Manfood Recipes. Parting note: Our popular FHM Models contest is back! So get your hot-looking girlfriends, sisters and neighbours to send in their selfies. Details are inside the magazine. Enjoy.

Editor Dennis Yin Writer Janine Lee Editorial Administrator Farlinzah Mahmood

ART DESK

Creative Director Tony Law Associate Creative Director Joan Lim Associate Art Director Dannii Choo Senior Designer Pyron Tan

SUBS DESK

Chief Sub-Editor Jerena Ng Executive Sub-Editor Heidi Yeo Senior Sub-Editors Tan Wei Lin, Caroline Francis

PHOTOGRAPHY

Chief Photographer Steve Zhu Executive Photographer Ealbert Ho Senior Photographer Kelvin Chia Photographers Hong Chee Yan, Mark Lee Stylist Cheryl Chan

CONTRIBUTORS

Words: Gladys Goh, FHM UK Thanks to: Gregory Tan, FHM UK, Avenue, Mannequin, Looque, Diva Models, Phantom, Upfront Models, Eleganz and our FHM Models finalists. We worked very hard to get the feature stories done, organise the shoots and sort out all the great gadgets and pop-culture stuff for you to enjoy. There’s no need to read this section — just flip the page and enjoy the rest of the magazine.

ADVERTISING

Head, Group Sales & Marketing Irene Lim Vice President Stephanie Tay Assistant Vice President Derek Tan Senior Account Directors Xylia Lim, Priscilla Lim Account Director Celine Sim Szkon Senior Account Managers Garant Pang Chee Seng, Calvin Wan, Tan Mui Kian Account Manager Clara Chan Associate Account Manager Porter Christopher Andre Jin Xiang Assistant Account Manager Charmian Choo Senior Admin Executive Elaina Poh

AD ADMIN

Assistant Vice President Angela Chia Senior Manager Anne Hong Executive Brenda Chong

MARKETING & EVENTS Senior Executive Trina Lee Admin Executive Chong Lilin

CIRCULATION

Senior Managers Claire Sze, Elizabeth Low

PRODUCTION

Dennis Yin Editor

Manager Garis Chua For enquiries: Editorial E-mail: [email protected]; Fax: 6254-5116 MediaCorp Advertising Enquiry: 6333-9888 or [email protected] Subscription: 6483-1555 or [email protected]

FHM INTERNATIONAL NETWORK

Get useful tips, latest updates, plus exclusive behind-thescenes coverage! Follow us:

International Director Simon Greves International Head of Content Anouska Christy International Commercial Manager Graham Kirk International Content Executive Ryan Chambers

Facebook.com/ FHMsingapore

Instagram/ FHMSingapore

Twitter.com/ FHMSingapore

Singapore FHM is published by MediaCorp Pte Ltd, Caldecott Broadcast Centre, Andrew Road, Singapore 299939, under licence from Bauer Consumer Media Ltd. MCI (P) 080/12/2013. Copyright © is held by the publisher. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Distributed by MediaCorp Pte Ltd. Printed by timesprinters, www.timesprinters.com. Prepress managed by timesprinters. MediaCorp Pte Ltd also publishes I-WEEKLY, 8 DAYS, STYLE:, STYLE:MEN, STYLE: WEDDINGS, HIGH, TIMEPIECES, MANJA, BABYCARE BOOK, and MOTHER & BABY under licence from Bauer Consumer Media Ltd, ELLE SINGAPORE under licence from Hachette Filipacchi Presse S.A.

008

01/14

Weird World

04

03

EIGHT SCHOOLS WE WISHED WE’D ATTENDED

08 WORDS: JOE MADDEN & JANINE LEE, PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS

07

06

02

Saved by the Bell depicted one of the most desirable high-school experiences ever seen. Who wouldn’t want to spend their school days in stonewash denim, knee-high sneakers and a tucked-in neon tee, with a personal harem of Kelly, Lisa and Jessie? Sure, you’d have to deal with Screech, but swings and roundabouts…

We’d have loved to have got in one little fight, if that meant we could have attended Bel-Air Academy, the school of Will Smith. How we dreamed of strutting the corridors with Will, shocking the snooty rich kids with our matching paisley blazers. Yeeeah! The streets, yo!

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry What could be better than a virtually lawless boarding school, which has PE lessons involving a violent blood sport and is filled to the rafters with magic-fingered fitties who are always up for sneaking off to explore the grounds with you? Plus, Hermione Granger (er, in the latter years, obviously).

05

Moulmein High When we think of the ideal high-school experience, we envision all our problems in life being solved by Cynthia Koh — kind of like Superman, but in a ’90s style corporate leather jacket with the hair-do to match. Our classmates would all look suspiciously older than they’re supposed to be, and overreact to the most trivial of situations as if the apocalypse was upon us. As a bonus, we’d barely even have to study because we’d be spending all our time engrossed in “he said, she said” dramas, trying to “act cool”, and speaking in contrived accents, because apparently that’s all you’re supposed to do for a wellrounded education.

When you’re a self-obsessed adolescent with a groin full of hormones and the weight of the world on your shoulders, Dawson Creek’s Capeside High looks ideal. Plenty of troubled hotties to have ridiculously wordy conversations with, and lots of artistically lit lockers to bang your fist against as you fight back tears while sad-face indie-pop plays in the background. All that and Katie Holmes before she shacked up with Tom Cruise and got all weird.

Sweet Valley High If you grew up in the ’90s and have an identical-twin fetish, you can probably trace it back to cheesy teen novel series Sweet Valley High. The gist: Blonde twins did something or other with their classmates. Adventures or some s**t, whatever. The sole reason for reading was to construct increasingly depraved incestuous-lesbo fantasies in your disgusting head.

Constance Billard School for Girls Alright, so attending the ultraexclusive school depicted in Gossip Girl would’ve involved a series of painful sex-change operations, but it would’ve totally been worth it. You’d be rubbing well-bred shoulders with New York’s hottest, richest and dirtiest teen power-vixens, living a life of champagne binges and cat-fights. Of course, you’d be a lady, so you wouldn’t actually be able to shag them as you’d imagined… Which is where this daydream falls apart.

Bayside High

Bel-Air Academy

Capeside High School

01

William McKinley High School Ever wanted to randomly break into song during some incredibly poignant moment in life like your girlfriend dumping you, or while some jocks are stuffing you into a locker? At the Glee high school — not only will no one look at you funny if you start belting out the latest hit by Rihanna — it’s pretty much a requirement. Your schooling life will be a 24/7 primetime musical complete with sexy adolescent cheerleaders, teenage pregnancy and homoerotic shenanigans. Plus you just haven’t lived until you’ve experienced the thrilling joy of getting an acidcoloured slushie thrown dramatically in your face. 01/14

009

WHY YOUR SMARTPHONE IS MAKING YOU DUMB If you thought your mobile made your life better, think again. That’s if you still can…

San Francisco, 23 September 2013. A 30-year-old man boards a busy commuter train. He removes a device from his pocket and brings it to eye level several times within the space of a few minutes. He stares at it intently. He appears excited, frenzied almost. At the next station, he disembarks the train behind another man, 10 years his 010

01/14

junior, still clutching his device. He then proceeds to use it to fire a bullet into the back of his fellow-passenger’s head, killing him immediately. The device in question? A .45-calibre pistol. And the reason that not a single passenger on the crowded train so much as batted an eyelid as he brandished the weapon in plain sight? Because every single one of them was glued to

Essays

WORDS: FHM UK. ILLUSTRATION: SAM TAYLOR. PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS & CORBIS

their own devices: Smartphones. “There are people facing in his direction — you can see them on their phones, highly distracted,” said California district attorney George Gascon, upon reviewing the terrifying surveillance footage. “And you can see the suspect pulling the gun up with his right hand, bringing it up to his face at least three or four times, parallel to his face and no one sees this going on.” While your smartphone may not have caused you to miss any murders lately, it has almost certainly been responsible for killing your brain cells. Because if you’re aged between 18 and 35, there’s more than a 50 per cent chance that you are addicted [fig.1] to that melded lump of plastic, metal and glass that, right now, is probably within an arm’s reach of you. (If it isn’t, congratulations, you’re in the minority. Or possibly you have very short arms). A recent survey of male smartphone users found that almost 90 per cent of men “love” their phones. Not “like”, or “find useful”, but “love”. And why should that come as a surprise? After all, we take them to dinner, share with them our most intimate secrets, and even gaze at them adoringly while lying in bed. It’s hard to imagine how things could get any more intimate without it requiring a doctor afterwards. In the same survey 69 per cent of men said their phones made them feel smarter. This last statistic represents a massive case of self-delusion. Yes, your smartphone will help you locate a cab, shop for veg or catch up with the news while waiting for your girlfriend to get dressed. But asking Siri what the capital of Papua New Guinea is in the toilet [fig.2], before reeling it off as your own to your pub-quiz teammates, will never equate to actual knowledge. Quite the contrary. Having access to an unlimited digital pool of information doesn’t necessarily make you smart. At worst it’s stopping you from thinking, from fully utilising your own processor (your brain). Maybe, just maybe, our smartphones are turning us into mindless, stupefied automatons, drones under the control of a 20mm circuit board. You don’t own your smartphone, your smartphone owns you. Walk down any high street right now and you’ll witness a 21st-century tribe of zombies, bumping into pillars and each other while hunched over their screens. The smartphone-obsessed men of Singapore would choose refreshing their Facebook timelines, Twitter and Instagram over raising their gazes and bothering to look at what’s actually going on in the world around them.

Fig. 1

The average person checks their smartphone 150 times a day. Yep, she still hasn’t texted.

Fig. 2

Port Moresby, the capital of Papua New Guinea — presmartphones you’d need a brainy mate to find that out.

Let’s conduct an experiment. Sit back, relax. Now visualise the process of receiving a message or a Facebook “Like”. Imagine the vibration in your pocket, the faint “beep beep” as it arrives in your inbox, the beaming light from your handset as you carefully slide your finger across its soft, glass face. The pinprick of excitement at the possibility of who it might be — your girlfriend, perhaps, sending you a sexy selfie, your boss offering you a pay rise, or a Popeye chicken’s two-forone deal. If you felt that pang of anxious anticipation, you are by no means alone. The terrifying truth is that many of the sensations experienced by heavy smartphone users are comparable to those faced by addicts to class-A drugs. “Receiving a message releases dopamine in the pleasure centre of our brain,” says Anna Albright, a cognitive behavioural therapist who specialises in technology addiction. “It’s the same mechanism we get from cocaine and heroine and it’s highly addictive. The more we experience a dopamine hit, the more we want it.” What this means is that the longer our relationship with smartphones goes on, the more dependent we will become on our android mistresses. Like a drug addict upping the dose, we’ll need harder and harder hits — faster processors, more and more apps, increased neural stimulation, newer versions of Candy Crush [fig.3], just to achieve the same psycho-physical buzz. And if you think we’ve got it bad, you might want to reserve your sympathy for those poor, poor kids playing Pitbull loudly at the back of the bus. “There’s a good chance that the next generation — who will have been brought up on smartphones — will fail to develop the capability to read facial expressions and develop interpersonal relationships,” adds Albright, conjuring up images of a nation of poker-faced geeks unable to convey emotion without the liberal use of emojis. The good news is that there is salvation. If we are a nation of addicts, then like any addicts we are in control of our own destinies. The solution is simple: Next time you’re walking down the street, eating some top-notch grub, sitting in the pub with your mates, or enjoying an amazing gig [fig.4], just keep your hand out of your pocket and enjoy the moment. It’s that simple. Who knows what you might see? A pretty girl. A bloke with a weapon. You can always update your status later.

Fig. 3

Worse than porn? Your teeth won’t fall out, but Candy Crush does rake in up to $800,000 a day from users.

Fig. 4

Prince is one of an increasing number of artistes who has his purple knickers in a twist over mobiles at gigs. 01/14

011

Social Media Outburst!

Want to get the latest news on Singapore FHM or just wanna know what our team has been up to?

Join the

FHM Singapore Facebook group now! www.facebook.com/FHMSingapore Log into your Facebook account Go to www.facebook.com/FHMSingapore Click “LIKE”!

Follow

FHM Singapore on Twitter now! twitter.com/FHMsingapore Log into your Twitter account Go to twitter.com/FHMSingapore Click “FOLLOW”!

Are You Too Cool for School? How to stay on the acceptable side of Hipster-ville. FYI” is an

ster “Hip ord for and old w to jazz t’s in ,i oday eone som oetry. T as a p d beat stly use rm for mo ory te gat ho is dero eone w ol. o m c o s fully pain

FA S

HI

TE ON/

CH

UF /ST

Five-panel Hats

The five-panel has become a dometopping phenomenon over the past few years. Avoid being a streetwear cliché and pick a classic black number.

Animal Combos

One animal print or motif, like this awesome hoodie from Danish mavericks Rascals’, is fine, but combine them and it’s worse than crossing particle streams.

Tote

If you have a collection of tote bags, you’ve gone too far. The maximum for manliness is no more than three.

Skinny Jeans

There’s a simple rule: If your jeans are so skinny you can see on what side you dress and the precise diameter of your testicles, they’re too tight.

Plimmies

Plimsolls are the go-to shoe for any hipster, but call them “plimmies” and you might as well end it now (or we’ll do it for you).

Turn-Ups

WORDS: FHM UK

Excessive rolling is only acceptable for cyclists, or if you’re a sufferer of chronically hot ankles.

Windbreaker, by Adidas. Hoodie, by Rascals’. Jeans, by Topman. Shoes, by Nanny State from Bankfashion.co.uk. Hat, by The Hundreds from thealternativestore.net. Socks, by Rascals’.

01/14

013

F

Colour Blind When it comes to clothes, you know what never gets old? Black, white and the entire grey-scale spectrum in between. Together with zebras, pandas and orcas, celebrate monochrome with Uniqlo’s fall collection. Featuring an array of graphic print tees in stark black and white, pull one of these on to make a minimalist style statement. Plus, they’ll match everything in your wardrobe. What are you waiting for?

$9.90, from Uniqlo stores.

Well Mannered Like a gentleman covered in body art, Bershka’s “The Enigma” collection is a rebellion of the classics. Suit up with colour-block blazers that combine different fabrics; or go casual with knit jumpers, leather jackets, and ripped cigarette trousers. To put it simply, if David Beckham and Adam Levine got together and had a baby, we imagine this collection would be the result.

Avengers Assemble

Fly Like a G6 The classic aviator shape gets an update with these Dolce&Gabbana shades. Unlike regular aviators, these have sleek steel temples and are spiffed up with nylon details. Whether it’s gunmetal, silver or matt black, this lean mean machine is the most stylish way to combat Singapore’s sweltering heat — just don’t ruin the look with foam clogs or a fanny pack.

From Specialist Eyecare Centre, #02-20 Great World City.

014

01/14

$39.90, from Celio boutiques.

WORDS: JANINE LEE & GLADYS GOH

From Bershka boutiques.

With production of Avengers 2 starting this February, hype yourself up with these marvel-lous tees by Celio. With nifty sketches of your favourite superheroes like the patriotic soldier Captain America or demigod Thor, they’re the next best thing to owning a photonic shield or Mjolnir. Pair them with jeans or denim cut-offs and get ready for some action.

The Uprising

Geek Chic Drawing inspiration from the greatest mother of all (Nature), French brand Côte&Ciel’s new collection is an evolution of its classic bags. Embodying function and minimalism, the backpack and messenger bags are made with waterproof material and are ideal for technophiles (they’re also equipped with different compartments to house all your techy gadgets). Now if only they included portable Wi-Fi too…

Chill in Billabong’s Youth in Revolt clothing series, a throwback to the youth counterculture movement. Like hippies but less stoned and colourful, the collection features heavily on indigo and washed-out textures. From easy-wear tank tops to jeans made with recycled PET bottles, the hipster revolution has never looked this good.

$19.90 to $119.90, from Billabong stores.

From Côte&Ciel pop-up store at Wheelock Place, now till 15 February.

Get in The Rink Singapore’s only Olympic-size ice rink offers an unparalleled ice experience, both on and off the ice. The rink hosts activities such as recreational skating, figure skating and ice hockey. Spectators can also catch the action from the 460-seat gallery, such as training sessions by the Singapore Ice Skating Association (SISA) and Singapore Ice Hockey Association (SIHA). The Rink@JCube is also equipped to host ice-skating-related sports competitions. 2 Jurong East Central 1, Level 3 JCube Singapore 609731 Operating times: Mon: 10am - 7.15pm Tue to Thu & Sun: 10am - 9.30pm Fri, Sat & Eve of PH For latest ice-skating schedule, visit www.TheRink.sg Visit The Rink@JCube Facebook page at www.facebook.com/therink.sg

FHM is giving away 188 sets of The Rink ice-skating passes (worth $17.50 each). To win, answer the following question:

PROMO

WIN!

Pa Singasses to Th Olymp pore’s fir e Rink — st a icrink wsize ice-sknd only orth o ating ver

$3,20 0!

The Rink is Singapore’s only Olympic-size ice rink located at JCube in Jurong East. True/False E-mail your answer, name, NRIC, age, mobile number and occupation to [email protected]. Type “JAN THE RINK” in the subject header. CLOSING DATE: 15 January 2014.

Terms & Conditions: All entries must be submitted by 15 January 2014, 11.59pm. n MediaCorp employees and their immediate family members are not eligible for this promotion. n We reserve the right not to award prizes to any participant who has won any prizes from MediaCorp in the past six months. n Participants who have entered more than one contest in this issue shall be entitled to win only one contest. n MediaCorp Pte Ltd reserves the right to use entrants’ information for future promotions and to amend the terms and conditions without prior notification. n Prizes are non-transferable and non-exchangeable for cash or any other services. n Only those 18 years of age and above are qualified for this contest. n Participants may send only one email entry per contest. Multiple entries will not be accepted. n Winners will be chosen from correct entries on a first-come-first-served basis. n Winners will be notified via SMS or e-mail.

Get the Perfect Smile The essential info and kit for winning gnashers.

What to Munch

Bru FAC sh T with ing you r y o u han r w teeth brai d helps eaker con n to bu your nec tio ild ne the ns betw w le righ t he ft and een mis phe res.

Eat your teeth clean with these smile-saving snacks:

Tooth Tips Three simple things to give you lifelong dental fortitude:

Apples polish your teeth and encourage your mouth to produce bacteria-fighting saliva. One a day keeps the doctor and dentist away.

Sugarless gum is an on-the-go tooth cleanser that triggers the saliva needed to fight off plaque acid.

Strawberries contain malic acid, which helps to remove stains from your teeth. And there’s a vitamin C kick for healthy gums, too.

Straws aren’t manly, but bypassing your teeth when drinking sweet things will avoid the kopitiam-uncle look later in life. Give it a miss with beer, though.

FACouTuse a

Pistachios have a large amount of magnesium in them, aiding the absorption of tooth-strengthening calcium into the body.

ey ood Befor to pluck f w l i , kno rna finge our teeth rsity y e from ston Univ nt A ce t r a th 24 pe ve found nails ha n’s ng i e s m u f a o oea-c them. h r r a di der ria un bacte

A glass of water after meals will wash away the acids that stay in your gob when you eat.

016

Enamel instinct No one can resist a set of shiny gnashers. Join the pearly ranks by using a whitening toothpaste such as this. It removes surface stains and whitens your teeth in 14 days. Like minty magic.

Smart Brush Electric toothbrushes remove more plaque than a manual scrubber, and they require less effort. This model features five brushing modes for thorough gum care.

Darlie All Shiny White, from pharmacies, supermarkets and convenience stores.

Philips Flexcare+ Rechargeable Sonic Toothbrush, from authorised retailers.

01/14

Auto-Dontist Terrified to visit the dentist but riddled with plaque and stains? Fear not, friend. Pick up one of these kits and scrape away the grimness. Disclaimer: FHM doesn’t advocate self-dentistry (tooth-pulling and the like) over professional care. Not usually.

Dental Tool Kit, available online.

The Inbetweener Flossing removes plaque to protect teeth and gums from tartar, and shifts the dirt that bacteria feeds on so your teeth are cleaner and your breath is fit for female enjoyment.

Oral B Dental Floss, from pharmacies, supermarkets and convenience stores.

WORDS: FHM UK, PHOTOS : CORBIS

THE OWNOLS TO

Mane Attraction Turn your messy ’do into luscious locks with the latest products that style, condition and repair.

1) Toni&Guy Casual Sculpting Powder, 1g, $12.90 Dust this micro-fine powder on the roots of your hair, and scrunch it up for volume, texture and a matte finish. 2) Toni&Guy Cleanse Dry Shampoo, 75ml, $10.90 Who needs 30 minutes to shower when you can have nice-smelling, clean hair in less than five? This dry shampoo absorbs excess oil and grease with just a few quick spritzes.

6

3) Toni&Guy Creative Style Spray Wax, 150ml, $22.90 Style your hair without getting your hands too sticky. Just shake, spray, scrunch and step back to marvel at that work of art.

WORDS: GLADYS GOH; ART DIRECTION: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY: EALBERT HO

4 5

7 3

4) Alpecin Caffeine Shampoo, 250ml,$12.90 This caffeine-charged shampoo triggers cells in the hair root to extend growth. Leave on scalp for two minutes after application then rinse. 5) Mark Hill MiracOILicious Moroccan Argan Oil, 50ml, $21.90 A blend of 12 essential oils and extracts, a few drops of this exotic cocktail can be used as a conditioning, styling, or finishing product.

2

1

6) Clear Men Cool Sport Menthol Anti-Dandruff Shampoo, 350ml, $10.30 Formulated to give freshness and maximum dandruff protection, this shampoo includes natural ingredients like mint, tea tree and ginseng to cleanse and repair the scalp. 7) Clear Ice Cool Menthol Anti-Dandruff Shampoo, 350ml, $9.40 This minty shampoo repairs and strengthens the scalp’s resistance while soothing dryness and eliminating dandruff.

01/14

017

How does my slogan snapback look? (She’ll let you know…) HERON! I OPIN

What’s up, hobo?

KIKI, 19

CHA, 21

JANINE, 22

SAMANTHA, 19

FRANCESCA, 20

EVELYN, 21

MERIDEFF, 21

It depends how well it’s carried off. But most times, the words are quite stupid. Maybe acronyms would be a better option.

I think it’s childish but it depends on what kind of caps. Well, if they mix and match then maybe it’s cool but most of the time it’s not.

It only works if a guy can pull the look off; if not, it’ll look kind of douchey. Looks best when paired with a normal T-shirt and denim cut-offs.

Some of the words on the cap are just for aesthetic purposes and don’t mean anything. As long as a guy looks good in a cap, that’s all that matters. 018

01/14

I think guys who wear slogan snapbacks try too hard, and I don’t like guys who wear caps.

I like the hip-hop style and slogan snapbacks are part of it. I like it because it’s something that hiphop dancers wear.

I feel that it’s a bit overrated, and I guess it depends on individual likes. But personally, I don’t like it.

I think slogan snapbacks are pretty cool. It’ll look really good if you wear it with flowery shirts and threequarter pants.

INTERVIEW & PHOTOGRAPHY: GLADYS GOH; PHOTO: CORBIS

These chatty hats have taken the hip-hop community by storm, but do they make you look more street or just stupid? FHM finds out what the ladies think.

SANDRA, 28

VOL 17 ON SALE NOW! THE GIRLS OF FHM VOLUME 17

BIKINI & LINGERIE SPECIAL

THE GIRLS OF STUNNING WOMEN, VERY FEW WORDS

SPECIAL COLLECTOR’S EDITION

$9.80

NO REV N O F E AT I E W S . NO STO URES. JUST ST RIES. W O M E NU N N I N G F E W W O, V E RY RDS.

GET YOUR COPY NOW!

FA S H I O N Leather varsity jacket, striped cotton shirt, and cropped distressed denim jeans, all by Agnès B. Wool blazer, by J. Lindeberg. Striped silk tie, by TM Lewin. Leather brogues, by Dr Marten’s. Photography assistance: Alfie Pan. Hair: Peter Lee/ Hairloom using Goldwell. Model: Viktor/Mannequin.

Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

Be at the To p o f t h e Class Add a touch of new-school finesse to your wardrobe this new term.

FA S H I O N Printed cotton blazer, by Ben Sherman. Houndstooth cotton shirt with knit collar and cuffs, by Raf Simons for Fred Perry from Fred Perry Laurel Wreath Collection. Acetate frames, by Moscot from The Eye Site. Striped silk tie, by TM Lewin. Watch, by Daniel Wellington from Cumulus. Opposite: Striped cotton knit V-neck sweater, by H&M. Striped cotton knit hoodie, by Agnès B. Cotton twill pants, by Topman. Canvas snapback cap, by New Era from Limited EDT. Leather satchel, by Cambridge Satchel Company from Cumulus. Canvas hightop Chuck Taylor sneakers, by Converse.

FA S H I O N Merino wool cardigan, by Fred Perry Laurel Wreath Collection. Denim vest, by Topman. Printed cotton shirt and canvas sling bag, both by Ben Sherman. Tweed pants, by Ben Sherman. Acetate keyhole frames, by Oliver Peoples from The Eye Site. Woven belt, by Uniqlo. Opposite: Plaid cotton blazer and cotton jersey hoodie, both by H&M. Cotton houndstooth shirt, by Uniqlo. Cotton track pants, by Topman. Canvas rucksack with leather details, by WEMUG from Cumulus. Plaid brogues, by Dr Marten’s.

FA S H I O N Denim jacket and wool plaid vest, both by Topman. Cotton check shirt, by J. Lindeberg. Cotton jersey track pants, by H&M. Canvas snapback cap, by New Era from Limited EDT. Striped silk tie, by TM Lewin. Watch, by Daniel Wellington from Cumulus. Opposite: Cotton tartan tennis bomber jacket, by Fred Perry Laurel Wreath Collection. Striped cotton Henley, by David Beckham for H&M. Cotton/acrylic knit cardigan and cotton linen check cropped pants, both by Uniqlo. Nylon tote bag with leather straps, by Porter.

Hot Metal Got your gadget fix for Christmas? Now, get another one for the New Year!

Nikon Df

Why’s it good? This solid camera combines the classic look and function (mechanical dial, manual-focus lenses) of earliergeneration film cameras with advanced imaging technologies, including a 16.2-megapixel full-frame CMOS sensor and Expeed 3 image-processing engine. Gimme: $3,999 (Df body — AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8G kit); $3,699 (Df body only); $399 (AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8G); authorised retailers.

Logitech Powershell Controller + Battery

Why’s it good? Whether you’re on the bed, in a toilet cubicle or outdoors, all you have to do is slide it in… And play. It’s not what you think, but better. Turn your fifth-generation iPhone/iPod Touch (running on iOS7) into a mobile-gaming console by slotting it into this nifty controller. Not only does it free up your entire screen for viewing, it doubles your phone’s battery capacity. Gimme: $129; authorised retailers.

PrivacQ

Why’s it good? For the best protection, slot an industrial-standard rubber case, or this — a fingerprint-security device that locks Samsung smartphones (S3 and S4) and tablet (Note2), restrict access to individual apps, as well as encrypt text and voice messages. Gimme: $119; Challenger, Courts, Newstead, DigiVue and Tech@Vogue and other authorised retailers.

Sony PlayStation 4

028

01/14

Lenovo Erazer X510

Why’s it good? Like a piece off Optimus Prime, this multimedia PC is equipped with several highperformance features. They include Lenovo’s Onekey Overclocking function that boosts CPU frequency by about 30 per cent for all processor cores; AMD Eyefinity technology that connects up to six sceens for a panoramic display; and Raid 0 configuration support for super-fast data-write speeds. Gimme: $3,199; authorised retailers.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Why’s it good? Apart from a beer queue, the other thing that’ll make grown men stand in line is available (from 19 Dec) here. Besides dazzling graphics, faster speed and integrated social capabilities, the next-gen game console offers a second-screen feature where you can switch to remote play on a handheld PS Vita. Gimme: $639, $689 (with camera); authorised retailers

1

Mobile Music Stations Full of goodness like a tin of muscle-building protein mix, these compact wireless speakers pump up your music just as clearly as any high-end system.

2

1) Jabra Solemate Mini $148, authorised retailers.

2) Nixon The Blaster

$379, Nixon at Ion Orchard and Tangs.

3) Nakamichi NBS9 NFC speaker

3

$129, Tangs, HMV, iSound@T2, eHub@T3, Challenger and other authorised resellers.

4) Sonos Play:1

$399; store.tcacoustic.com.sg and authorised retailers

5) Mini Jambox $278, authorised retailers.

4

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

5

01/14

029

Darkness Prevails

WORDS: DENNIS YIN; ART DIRECTION: DANNII CHOO; PHOTOGRAPHY: EALBERT HO

There was never a new black, because the shade never left us.

“Black is modest and arrogant at the same time. Black is lazy and easy — but mysterious. But, above all, black says this: ‘I don’t bother you; don’t bother me’.” ― Yohji Yamamoto, fashion designer

Vabene Turbulence, $727.60, Swatch Rhossili, $99. Steelcraft Colour Concept, $845.30. Calvin Klein Eager, $550. Karl Lagerfeld KL2405, $629.

030

01/14

“I wore black because I liked it. I still do and wearing it still means something to me. It’s still my symbol of rebellion.” ― Johnny Cash, musician

Luminox Evo F-117 Nighthawk Series (LM6402BO), $1551.50. Police PL13092JSUB/61, $375.

01/14

031

“The process of delving into the black abyss is, to me, the keenest form of fascination.” ― HP Lovecraft, author

Offshore Limited The Octopussy, $820. Guess Breakthru (W0180G2), $328. Nautica BFD 105 Chrono (A18685G), $339.

032

01/14

“I'll stop wearing black the day they make a darker colour.” ― Anonymous

SevenFriday P3, $1,590. Tsovet PX103110101040-61, $358

01/14

033

How not to take the perfect selfie: Don’t comb your hair.

“Nat Geo” Photographer

WORDS: GLADYS GOH, PHOTOS: CORY RICHARDS.

There’s no mountain high enough for Cory Richards — nor is there anything that would ever make him give up his camera. You were the first American to conquer an 8,000m peak in winter and documented it on camera. How did you get started on climbing and photography? My dad was a climber and he had some very good friends who became extremely prolific alpinists and climbers. One of them was [mountaineer] George Lowe. My parents have a very strong idea that they weren’t going to change anything for us when we were born and, with Lowe around, we grew up climbing. And because of the things I saw when I was climbing and the fact that I’ve always been a very visual person, photography became an instantaneous way for me to tell a story. Climbing creates an amazing visual backdrop for that. What do you like the most about your job? I like that I never wake up in the same place twice. The richness of my job has allowed me certain diversity in how I see the world. And part of being a photographer for me is having that perpetual curiosity that changes how you wake up every morning. Remember when you were a kid and were just superpsyched about everything? You were like “Wow! What is this? It’s a glass!” Well, I still feel that way; I’m just trying to find a way to make that glass look beautiful and interesting to everybody else. Which of your works are you most proud of? That’s such a hard question! There are certain images that stand out, like the selfportrait that I took with the ice beard. That’s important, not because it was of me but because it portrayed a moment of vulnerability and that’s really important in photography — finding a moment of vulnerability that tells a really human story. I remember another from 2005 of a young girl who was as captivating to me as, maybe, I was to her; she just seemed to stare through me. It was really interesting; such a wonderful exchange. It was like this dismissal of the person in front of her with a camera. She was (metaphorically of course) completely just stripped of everything and didn’t care I was there. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to get the perfect shot? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a perfect shot or done anything crazy but going to the Himalayas in wintertime strikes people as something a little crazy. I’ve taken big falls climbing. I was shooting in Majorca once and was rappelling over an edge to shoot a

climber who was deep-water soloing. He was climbing the rock below me above the ocean and my anchor broke. I fell into the water from a long way up with my camera gear, and a rock nearly came down and hit my head. Does life really flash before your eyes whenever you have near-death experiences like that? It does but it’s not heavy and it’s not like you’re thinking of your childhood… What I mean by that is you’re thinking of Cheerios or random thoughts like “Ugh, my socks are wet”, but you also have deeper thoughts. You think of family and friends; it’s an incredibly heightened experience where your brain kicks into absolute overdrive and you unlock that extra 90 per cent where you can think on so many different levels and it’s so fast. For me, fear is not even involved at that point. It’s scary before it happens but when it’s happening, your brain is just functioning at a super-high level. And when you come out on the other side, that’s what makes it rich, because you’ll realise that everything you do in life has an impact — good, bad, indifferent.

+

camera) you can’t travel without? Nothing. I could go anywhere, so long as I have my camera. The most important thing you've learnt as an adventure photographer? Check your camera settings and reset them to what you think it’s going to be in the morning before you go to bed. It has happened so many times where I wake up and just start shooting, but I’m like “Ugh! My camera is set completely wrong.” Philosophically, I’ve learnt that this is a very finite existence and it’s very important that we capitalise on that. I don’t do that all the time and that makes me really hard on myself. When I’m not absolutely doing the best thing I can everyday, I beat myself up. That’s why we need to really capitalise on our time and completely give in to the experience of being human. For me that means telling a story and sharing it. What’s on your bucket list that remains unaccomplished? There are things that I want to do like an Iron Man contest and another 8,000m peak in winter, but I don’t have a bucket list. I don’t think it’s healthy to think, “I’m going to do all

Walk us through a typical work day as an adventure photographer. “I don’t think there is a typical work day but it always entails trying to live life passionately — and that usually involves having a camera in my hand.”

Has that ever made you think twice about continuing your career? Never! I think that to stop because you’re scared is absolutely the wrong reason. Do you Instagram a lot? I use it all the time. It’s an incredible way to tell a story and you can reach a lot of people very quickly — and that’s really important. That’s the great thing about this age of digital media; I can tell a story in a very short caption, a single image or a short video clip and reach 30,000 people instantly. [Cory Richards’ handler is @coryrichards] What do you miss most when you’re on an expedition? Cheeseburgers! I miss my friends and family but as soon as I get home, I feel restless and ill at ease, and I immediately want to go out and do it again. What’s something (besides your

these stuff before I die!” We should take it a day at a time because what’s important to you today might actually not be important to you tomorrow, and putting yourself through it is not necessary.

Richards was in town recently to commemorate National Geographic magazine’s 125th anniversary.

01/14

035

(Left) On Roelene: Lycra maillot, by Bikini Star. (Right) On Dominique: Lycra bikni top, by Etam. All leather boxing gloves, by Victory and Adidas from Liang Seng Sports Equipment. Art direction assistance: Dannii Choo; Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair: Rick Yang, using Percy & Reed London; Makeup: Rick Yang & Nikki Fu, using YSL Beaute.

Words: Janine Lee Art direction: Tony Law Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

Model Mayhem These Supermodelme Season 4 contestants show FHM just how good they are at what they do.

S U PE R MODE LM E

01/14

037

Lycra string bikini, by Coco Bongo.

S U PE R MODE LM E

I

magine being stuck in a house with 12 beautiful women for six weeks, with no contact with the outside world… You’re probably wondering where to sign up, right? For our cover girls, though, the experience was something of a girlworld nightmare. Surprisingly, Dominique Nguyen (Vietnam) and Roelene Coleman (India) agree that one of the most challenging aspects of the Supermodelme realityTV contest was managing their emotions and fragile alliances within the model house, and against each other. Fiercely competitive and jointly responsible for the more electric scenes of drama on show, FHM pits these two leggy beauties against each other in a photo shoot, with surprisingly synergistic results.

Twelve girls in a confined space; sounds like a ticking time bomb. What’s it like living in the model house? Roelene Coleman: Living with so many girls in such a refined space and being filmed all the time is a lot of pressure. We had so many big personalities that it was very conflicting; in fact, it was harder living in the house than the actual challenges and photo shoots. Dominique Nguyen: I don’t handle stress very well and it was a very tense environment. I’d always been best friends with my roommates on past modelling assignments. But in this show, we’re in a house full of extremely competitive girls, every day for six weeks with no Internet or phone — the pressure was really high. Some people just handled it better than others. How did you cope with having cameras in your face 24/7? RC: You feel pressured to do something because the cameras are rolling. I can’t just be sitting on the couch; so do I move around and go talk to people? It felt really weird at first but I relaxed into it eventually, and didn’t even care about how I looked anymore. Some girls still put on makeup to look pretty, but I just couldn’t be bothered after awhile. DN: We were filming 16 hours a day and sleeping very little, so everyone was a bit irritable. There were cameras constantly around but, after a while, you got used to it. I still tried to be cameraready, though.

“Modelling can get ver y lonely. You don’t get to form lifelong relationships because you’re always away from your friends.” — Roelene Coleman Were the dramatic scenes real or exaggerated? DN: Nothing was scripted or staged; they were real-life situations and, sometimes, you don’t always think before you react. When you’re used to the cameras, they become like a fourth wall. The scenes were not dramatised but it was probably magnified a hundred times because of the circumstances. And having to share a bedroom with someone you think may be talking about you behind your back, that was really challenging. What was your stereotypical role on the show? DN: I was probably the crazy drama queen. I’m pretty dramatic in general but I try to maintain my craziness in real life. I let loose on the show; being in that environment just brought it out. I’m also very competitive and not a fake person; if I have something to say, I’ll say it. I don’t like people who are passive aggressive or aren’t genuine.

RC: I think I played the misunderstood weirdo. I wasn’t expecting all this and it definitely affected me. Reality-show stars often seem larger than life. Do you feel your personality changed while filming? RC: Like Dom said, your whole personality is magnified on the show. I’m already quite an “out there” person, so being magnified in that sense didn’t sit well with a lot of people. People saw me in a negative way, but I didn’t really mean for that. I was just being me. DN: With the cameras around, even though we’re being ourselves, it’s a really exaggerated version. It’s easier to have a role laid out for you than to be yourself entirely with no inhibitions. So sometimes, by default, you fall into a box of being a little more dramatic than you’d normally be. Did you two clash on the show? RC: Oh, for sure! DN: Both of us come from an acting background and it was difficult for us to be ourselves entirely in front of the cameras, so it was sometimes easier to play a part. We’re both very confident and cocky, so there was definitely some conflict. Was it a different story after the cameras stopped rolling? RC: Dom and I are quite similar in many aspects. But because we were competing against each other on Supermodelme, that drove us apart. We were completely bouncing against each other; it was not a good situation. But once filming ended and we were no longer competing, it completely changed. We had long chats and figured out that we actually get along really well. DN: The moment filming was done, we went out and it was like being with a totally different person. We clicked instantly. But in the show, just get away from me, girl!

01/14

039

Lycra string bikini, by Manggis. Opposite: Lycra string bikinis, both by Manggis.

“Nothing [ on Supermodelme] was scripted or staged… The scenes were not dramatised but it was probably magnified a hundred times because of the circumstances.” — Dominique Nguyen

040

01/14

S U PE R MODE LM E

Zig-zag print lycra bikini top and lycra bikini bottoms, both by Cotton On Body. Sneakers, model’s own.

S U PE R MODE LM E

“We’re both ver y confident and cock y, so there was definitely some conflict [ on the show ].” — Dominique Nguyen What’s one thing you want to say to the judges but couldn’t do it on camera? RC: I really respect the judges… I learnt a lot from them and didn’t get the chance to tell them that. Also, I disagreed with a lot of things they said! In those situations, you can’t really say anything because if you start to argue, they’d just say you’re making excuses. So you just bite your tongue and listen. Now that it’s over, I’d like to say, “well, actually…” DN: Under the circumstances, I wasn’t able to tell our mentor Lisa S that I really respect her. I live in Hong Kong and have followed her since I was younger; I’m so honoured to get the chance to work with her. Also, I never told judge Ase Wang that she bears an uncanny resemblance to my sister. No matter

what she said about me, in the back of my mind, I’d think of my sister and couldn’t really get angry. What’s the downside about modelling no one talks about? DN: People think we live a glamorous life, but the truth is being judged and facing constant rejection isn’t easy. The lifestyle’s very tough — we travel a lot and have to maintain our bodies, which is physically draining. The absolute hardest part is meeting people, forming relationships and then moving. Not knowing when or if you’re going to see them again; for me that’s really hard. As a result, you put a wall up to try to maintain your emotions and not get too close to people. RC: I agree. You constantly have to pick yourself up from the ground. Once you feel like you’re getting somewhere, you get slammed down again, and that’s a constant process you have to overcome. That’s why so many girls can’t handle the industry; you have to form a really thick skin. The other difficult thing is that it can get very lonely. You don’t get to form lifelong relationships because you’re always away from your friends and they’re scattered all over the world. Nowhere feels like home. I go home to Sydney but it doesn’t feel like home; I don’t know where home is. It’s quite confusing and lonely at times.

How’s your love life doing? DN: Non-existent. [Laughs] RC: Terrible, terrible! [Laughs] DN: I’m very picky and it’s difficult for me to find someone who keeps me entertained and interested; who doesn’t bore me or is too easy. I also think that no one wants to deal with my craziness. What would a guy have to do to score a date with you? RC: I like when a guy can just man up and come talk to me. I don’t put any energy into guys who just stare and perve at me from across the room − and don’t do anything about it. Don’t be such a girl; be the man and chase me. DN: Exactly, grow a pair! RC: Come talk to me and make me laugh. A guy who makes me laugh, puts me at ease. Even if he’s arrogant, if he’s joking about it, that’s cool.

DN: The energy has to be right, too. I could find someone attractive and not be attracted to them. Also, I don’t like people who try too hard. I like guys who don’t care about what I think, who say whatever they want and wear whatever they want. They’re not trying; just being themselves. And making me laugh is an absolute must. I will not go on a date with you if you can’t make me laugh. FHM Supermodelme Femme Fatale is now showing on MediaCorp Channel 5 and Diva Universal (StarHub TV Ch 522).

01/14

043

On Rolene: Lycra string bikini, by Coco Bongo. On Dom: Zig-zag print lycra bikini top and lycra bikini bottoms, both by Cotton On Body. Opposite: Lycra string bikini, by Manggis. Terrycloth hoodie, by Forever 21.

S U PE R MODE LM E

“I disagreed with a lot of things they [ the judges ] said… I f you star t to argue, they’d just say you’re making excuses.” — Rolene Coleman

01/14

045

School Skills for Grown-ups Words: Stu Hood Photography: Carlos Nunez Styling: Hayley Lawrence

Strap on your rucksack, load up on stink bombs and cowlick your hair — FHM is about to take you back to school. Pay attention. You might learn something.

046

01/14

SCHOOL S KI LLS

Spot a Bulls***ter Everyone knew one. Some kid who — for reasons best known to himself — chose to embellish every conversation with totally implausible bulls**t. His big brother worked for Ferrari. Fandi and his uncle were really good mates. He had a PlayStation 6 but he couldn’t show it to you because it wasn’t legally out yet. Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, shows you how to spot a lifelong liar.

STUDY THE DENIAL

“We know from academic research that specific denials are associated with dishonesty, and categorical denials are usually associated with truth,” reveals Meyer. “So people lying tend to be very specific — for example, ‘I did not kiss that guy in that club on that night’ — whereas people telling the truth tend to make bigger statements — like, ‘I have never cheated on anyone in my life.’”

OBSERVE BARRIERS

“When someone is lying, they subconsciously try to protect themselves. This can take many forms, from avoiding eye contact by looking down and pointing their feet at the door to slumping in their chair. The most obvious is placing physical barriers, such as a phone or a bag, between you and them.”

Get Out of a Fight

At school, you could avoid a thrashing from the big bully with your eyes closed. But now, you’re not so sure how to dodge that furious psycho. Don’t panic. Here’s a refresher course from self-defence expert John Skillen.

FIND YOUR VOICE

“When the talking stops, the fighting begins,” says John. “So the longer you can keep them talking, the less chance there is of physical contact.”

HIT THE HIGH ROAD

CHECK OUT THE UPPER BODY

“People often associate deception with fidgeting, but this isn’t always the case. Instead, look out for someone’s chest and shoulders. When someone is trying to think up what to say next or make their words appear spontaneous, it often results in their upper body freezing.”

“If you want to avoid conflict, the best thing to do is get away from the trouble. If the person refuses to accept your apology and you’re not bothered about losing face, run. It worked when you were a kid and it still works now.”

KNOW WHY PEOPLE LIE

STAY FROSTY

Remember How to Use a Protractor

PUSH AND POINT

“Studies show that men are more likely to lie to make themselves look better; women are more likely to lie to protect other people; and both sexes are more likely to lie by holding back information rather than altering it,” says Meyer. In conclusion, if your mate bigs himself up regarding a specific sexual incident, while avoiding eye contact and putting his phone between you and him, repeat after us: Liar, liar, scrotum on fire.

An acute angle is one that’s less than 90 degrees. An obtuse angle is more than 90 degrees. So there you go.

Acute <90

Obtuse >90º

“In street fights, the aggressor will try to catch you unaware, so he can get the first blow in. Prevent this from happening by adopting a 45-degree stance, with your dominant side to the rear (so if you’re right-handed, put your left foot forward). Now, place your weaker hand out in front of you. This is your barrier. If the aggressor moves towards you and touches it, then you have the right to strike first.”

“A strike doesn’t have to mean a punch. Instead, slap them hard on the chest and push them backwards to create distance between you, before pointing at them with your lead hand and shouting ‘stay back’. A lot of the time, this will bring them to their senses and end the action.”

KICK THE GOOLIES

If a boot to the balls is good enough for the schoolyard, it’s good enough for an alley confrontation. “If the push-and-point doesn’t work, kick him hard in the groin,” advises Skillen. “Then hit him in the jaw. As long as you don’t miss, it should result in a fight-finishing knock-out.”

Boss Your Boss

Running out of class as soon as the bell rang, scratching your name into desks, smoking in the underpass. When you were a kid, you didn’t take s**t from anyone, but now you’re working all hours for a tyrannical boss. Roger Mavity, author of The Rule Breaker’s Book of Business, explains why thinking like a schoolboy can help at work.

SEEK “HELP”

“If you want to manipulate your boss, ask for their help,” says Mavity. “This apparent show of weakness makes them feel like they have control, so they don’t feel threatened and are paradoxically easier to manipulate.”

SET YOUR STYLE

“I worked with a manager who was late and unprepared for every meeting,’ says Mavity. “Anyone else would have been shot, but he got away with it because ‘he’d always been that way’. If you set a pattern of work, no one will bat an eyelid when you go home on time or take your full lunch hour.”

PRODUCE

Revise. Play Xbox. It didn’t really matter. In the end, it all came down to one thing: Exam results. “Work is all about what you achieve,” says Mavity. “So as long as you produce work of note, your boss will pretty much let you do what you want.”

Make Friends Fast

When you started at school, you were terrified of one thing and one thing only: The possibility that you would make no friends. Here’s how to avoid the same thing happening to you as an adult.

PRESENTATION COUNTS

“The first thing people are going to notice is your appearance,” says Chris MacLeod of succeedsocially.com. So while your old pals might know that your unbrushed hair and scruffy shirt are no big deal, people you’re meeting for the first time will judge you. “People are mentally lazy. So they’re going to unconsciously size you up and see if they can slot you into a category.” It’s up to you to avoid the category marked “weirdo”.

EVERYONE LOVES A LISTENER

If you want people to like you, give the impression you give a damn about them. “Listen and be attentive,” says MacLeod. “No glancing at your mobile or looking around the room to see if there’s someone better to talk to. Look them in the eye and face them with your body.”

OUT WITH DOUBT

Affable people are united by one thing — they’re comfortable with themselves. “It doesn’t matter if they have bright red hair and buck teeth, likeable people always seem totally happy with the hand that life’s dealt them,” says Harvard sociologist Andrew Littlejohn. “If you want people to warm to you quickly, you have to banish all self-doubt from your mind.”

SHARE THE LOVE

If you’re trying to befriend a bunch of people, there’s no sense in focusing on one person. “Holding a group’s attention means you need to look at everyone in turn,” says MacLeod. “And talk clearly. If you’re mumbling, you won’t have much presence. Make your point fairly concise because — especially if you’re in a pub — if you ramble in an unfocused way, you’ll lose everyone.”

Collect Something Worth Swapping Money, influence, power. None of these mattered in the playground. You know what did matter? Cool stuff. The good news is some of the awesome junk you accumulated back then might actually be worth something now…

048

01/14

Tomytronic 3-D (1983) $30

Ghostbusters Stay Puft Marshmallow Man – with ghost trap (1984) $340

SCHOOL S KI LLS

Win a Slanging Match

“You smell!” “So does your mum!” Ah, the glory of lunchtime slanging matches. Listen up as Rowan “Eurgh” Faife of UK battle-rapping organisation Don’t Flop, reveals how to get your point across, adult-style.

PREPARE OR PREPARE TO FAIL

Sick Note Your Way Out of Anything

Sick notes were essentially the Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket of term time. With one of those bad boys clutched in your hand, anything was possible: You could get out of PE, leave school entirely, or even force the headmaster to dance on his desk like a performing circus bear (we never tried the last one, but apparently it’s true). Here are a few pointers for drafting the perfect sick note to get you off your day job.

FOR YOUR OWN RETRO PANINI ALBUM, VISIT CLASSICFOOTBALLSTICKERS.CO.UK. FOR AWESOME ACTION FIGURES, CHECK OUT TRACE AND TREV’S TWISTED TOYS ON EBAY

•

Keep a grisly photograph of your enflamed tonsils (taken during a particularly virulent infection) on your

Completed Panini football album (1986) $100

phone. Next time you need a day off, send it to your boss with the words, “Is this a normal amount of pus?”

• •

Never phone in sick. You will involuntarily begin doing an “ill-person voice” that fools no one. Even if you are genuinely sick. One word is capable of striking fear into the hearts of all teachers: Head lice. So why not tell your boss those hair-hungry b*****ds are now on you? Worse that could happen is they make you shave all your hair off.

Gameboy with games (1990) $100

Battle rappers memorise their favourite disses, so you should, too. “Freestyle battling died out in about 2007,” says Eurgh. “If you go in with nothing prepared, it’s likely your opponent will destroy you.”

CONCEPT BEFORE RHYME

“Trying to create punchlines around rhyming words is a sure-fire way to spit something wack,” says Eurgh. “Good battlers envisage the concept first, then build rhymes around it.”

GET THE CROWD ON YOUR SIDE

Hanging with the cool kids helped you win schoolyard verbals, and the masses also play a vital role in adult disputes. “If the crowd is against you, it alters your performance,” says Eurgh. “Keep them onside.”

WORK YOUR BODY

“An MC can spit the best verse of all time and get zero reaction if they did it while looking at their shoes,” says Eurgh. “Confidence is key. Keep smirking, throw your arms around a bit and stand up straight.”

The Ultimate Warrior WWF figure (1991) $180

Rock an awesome backpack

Get a Girl to Notice You

You want the girl in a club to notice you? Think back. The guy who got all the attention from the girls at school wasn’t necessarily the best-looking dude. It was the boy who seemed a bit dangerous. The scruffy outlaw who feared no teacher. Guess what? Nothing’s changed. Rachel DeAlto, author of Flirt Fearlessly, reveals all.

SHOW HER YOU EXIST

At school, the road to tonsil tennis began with a pinged bra strap. Turns out the 12-year-old you understood women far better than you do now. “Men check everyone out, but women are different,” explains DeAlto. “We only notice people within our line of sight, so you need to get within 3m of us.”

BE DIFFERENT

The girls at school lusted after the fun, naughty guy because he didn’t give a damn. So you need to stop looking for approval from other people (including your boss). “Women love confident guys who are happy to be a little bit different,” says DeAlto. A quick warning, though. “Don’t take things too far,” she says. “Be too arrogant or just plain weird and it’s not attractive.”

LISTEN TO YOUR MUM

What did your mum always instruct you to do? If the answer is “stand up straight” she was one savvy lady. “Women have a biological desire to find a strong mate,” explains Rachel. “So if you stand up straight and put your shoulders back, it will boost your chances of her finding you attractive.”

EMBRACE SPONTANEITY

“Spontaneity is incredibly attractive,” says DeAlto. “Sure, women want you to be financially sound, but they also want you to go away on a whim. It’s always sexy, as spontaneity builds adrenaline. And when it comes to relationships, adrenaline is an awesome thing.” Well, what are you waiting for? Down tools and suggest some team drinks… In Ibiza.

Hair & makeup: Marco Antonio using Dermalogica, M.A.C and Kerastase.

050

01/14

SCHOOL S KI LLS

Use the Power of English Lit to Write that Text

Better than an iPhone. Sort of. Turtles rucksack from Toys “R” Us.

Know Your Adjectives From Your Adverbs

An adjective is a word that describes a noun (“this pub is grim”). An adverb is a word that describes a verb (“drink this Malibu and Redbull cocktail quickly because it’s disgusting”).

Rediscover the White-Hot Thrill of Romance

Remember your first real crush? Let’s call her Sandra. No, Clara. All it took was a kind word from her, or the brush of her fingers against your arm, and you’d be sent into a private meltdown of weak-kneed joy. Likewise, if a text message to Clara went unanswered — or you saw her hanging out with the d**khead with tattoos in upper secondary — your day was ruined. That adolescent excitement, those waves of emotion that had you at their mercy, all seems like a long time ago now, doesn’t it? Well, screw it. Clara may have settled down in Tampines, got fat and had triplets, but the

spirit of Clara must live on. We, as men, need that in our lives. Without the heart palpitations, the dry-mouthed anticipation, the crushing disappointment of perceived rejection and, yes, the ecstasy of the first glorious kiss, we may as well be dead. So rediscover your inner schoolboy and remember what fancying someone used to feel like before Facebook pokes and WhatsApp convenience took over. Because somewhere out there, there’s a new Clara just waiting for someone to come along and share his dinner money with her.

So there’s this girl you like. A text message is the obvious next step, but one wrong move and you could send her running to the hills. Ben Crystal, author of z, explains how great works of literature can help you out…

DON’T OVERTHINK IT

“Spending an hour on a three-word response will make her think you’re ignoring her,” says Crystal. “Don’t follow Oscar Wilde’s technique: ‘I worked all day on a poem. In the morning, I took out a comma. In the afternoon, I put it back in again.’”

ROMANCE WORKS

Don’t dismiss romance because you think it’s soppy. “A touch of direct sweetness can go a long way,” says Crystal. “Don’t be lewd, rude or too forward. The response you’re looking for is ‘Ahh’, not ‘Ew!’”

NO DOUBLE MEANINGS

“Irony is hard to get across by text, and sarcasm is almost impossible,” advises Crystal. “Keep things simple. Shakespeare wrote, ‘Speak low if you speak love’, meaning gently and with humility. You’ll never know how far a line like, ‘You looked beautiful today’ will take you until you try it.”

GRAMMAR COUNTS

“Women want men to love, not boys to teach,” advises Crystal. “So drop the slang, spell things correctly and don’t use multiple exclamation marks. And for goodness’s sake, leave out the smilies.”

FHM’S Syllabus for the Modern Man

We’ve taken it upon ourselves to redraft the entire education system… SUPERMARKET MATHS

If you’ve ever stood in the booze aisle of Cold Storage, desperately trying to fathom which of this week’s 83 promotional offers represents the smartest use of your hard-earned cash, you’ll know just how integral maths is to your day-to-day existence. Yet do teachers instruct children in the relative merits of “half price” versus “25 per-cent free” versus “three-for-two” on some cans of lager? Nope. It’s all long division this, equilateral triangle that. Waste of everyone’s time.

SEXUAL BIOLOGY

…BUT WHAT I NEVER LEARN AT SCHOOL FHM finds out what the great and good did and didn’t pick up in class…

We’ve no proof of this, but we’ve long suspected that biology teachers spend most weekends in their collared shirts with the ladies. This is because they know the mythical combination of pheromones and subliminal signals that can cause any member of the opposite sex to become helplessly attracted to them. We don’t know what it is. But they do. Make them tell us.

PRACTICAL PE

While shambolic games of football and half-arsed relay races certainly broke up the day nicely, by Secondary Three, most of us had realised we weren’t going to become professional sportsmen. Instead, why not teach young men physical skills they’ll actually need, such as the correct method of opening a wedged-shut jar of Skippy without having to wrestle the f**ker to the ground?

ENGLISH FOR SHOW-OFFS

Ideally, English lessons would’ve revolved around memorising words that we could breezily drop into conversation to impress clever girls. Words like “labrose” (to have large lips), “eccedentesiast” (a person who fakes a smile) and “qualtagh” (the first person you see after leaving your house). Instead, our every social interaction is haunted by crippling kakorrhaphiophobia.

ALCO-CHEMISTRY

What use was learning the Periodic Table? None whatsoever. Instead, FHM would like to see children educated in the art of boozy chemistry. What happens when methanol and CH3OH (chemicals present in whisky production) react with the calcium hydroxide in that lime cocktail you drank five minutes ago? Is that what’s made you so pissed? Science will show us.

BAD-ASS DIALECTS

Whatever language you were forced to learn, chances are you remembered very little of it. That’s because the languages we’re taught in school are weak. Forget teaching us how to ask where the nearest library is – we want to be able to say, “LE JAI YA LIMP PEH SI DIANG BOH” (“Do you know who the f**k I am?”) when someone gives us grief.

INTERNET HISTORY

These lessons should’ve entirely focused on the most effective methods of erasing your web-browsing history. If a young man doesn’t fully grasp this skill at a young age, he’s destined for a life of sorrow, shame and enforced bachelorhood. 052

01/14

Roberto Martinez

The Everton FC head honcho tells FHM about fitting when in a foreign land and why we need to go back to the old ways. I went to school in Catalonia up until I was 16. It was a religious school, run by priests and nuns, and was very disciplined. I had one special teacher — a nun called Roser. She was an incredible worker, so diligent. You would not dare to let her down, because she was a good person. Her example had a massive influence on my life. Every time I go back to my hometown, I still visit Roser. My father was a football manager. It taught me how the sport absorbs whole lives. The mood of the family for the week would depend on the result of his match. When I was 16, I moved away to go to school. I was alone and it was the hardest moment in my life. I know about change. I was one of the first foreign players

SCHOOL S KI LLS As part of my job description as a swot, I was also a bit of a wimp. I always kind of sucked at sports so I was in the school military band playing drums in primary school. In Sec 1, I was made class librarian — that’s how much of a sad case I was. In Sec 3, I got involved in my first school play, a production of the musical Oliver! That was when I caught the acting bug and fell in love with an older woman (she was just 17, you know what I mean) who was borrowed from ACJC, and I became a lost cause forever. Like I said, theatre and women — the two biggest loves of my life. I’ve never been the kind of kid who was able to say, “When I grow up, I want to be a fireman” or “an astronaut”. Even right through my overachieving years, I was getting those grades simply to get them, without any thought about a long-term goal, ambition or dream. Even when I got into school plays, it was for the kick of being on stage. This went on right through to my university days. It wasn’t ’til I was faced with the prospect of having to choose to further my law studies after I got my degree, that I freaked out and finally admitted to myself that acting was and is the only thing I can ever see myself doing for the rest of my life. I gave up pursuing work in law and psychology because I know I’m too irresponsible to be placed in charge of other people’s problems; I can barely take care of my own. So I’ve been an underachiever ever since. I attribute this to Jim McCabe, my literature teacher in JC who was a big man, compulsive smoker and teller of dirty jokes. He taught me that it is possible to do something you love as your job. Going overseas was pretty much liberation for me and I relished every minute of it. Of course being in university was still very much la-la land, and it wasn’t until I arrived in London to begin work as an actor that reality hit me in the face big time. With 95 per cent of actors in the UK unemployed at any one time, it took a very thick skin and s**itloads of stubbornness to persevere and stay on working there for the next nine years. But I was very lucky to have been able to get by as a working actor in London, earning a decent living doing theatre, TV, film and the occasional beer commercial. Then fatherhood happened and the game changed again forever. Working primarily in theatre means that I’m in a position to choose only scripts I think are terrific. Especially now that I’m running my own theatre company Pangdemonium, together with my wife Tracie, we are extremely selective about the scripts we commit ourselves to. With good material, as an actor you just have to step up your game. It's a far cry from doing a TV soap opera when one is often faced with an awful script. As the saying goes: You can’t shine s**t. The biggest difficulty I’ve faced as an actor was my parents’ heartbreak that I would never be a hotshot lawyer. They’re now very The actor and owner of theatre company Pangdemonium brought supportive and my mum watches even the what he had learnt from school to the screen, stage and crappiest TV soap opera I do. everywhere in between. The most important trait required to be a successful actor is a healthy sense of denial. If I could give my younger self some advice, it’d be, “You’re I started out as a bit of an overachieving, teacher's pet swot when I going to marry a woman who is going to be the boss of you, so was in school. I was always top three in my year right up until I was 14 don’t try to fight it.” — yes, I’m very ashamed of that part of my past. But once I hit puberty and Pangdemonium presents Fat Pig from 13 February to 2 March discovered girls and theatre or, more specifically, the fact that I could meet at the DBS Arts Centre. For more info, visit girls by doing theatre, that was the beginning of my downfall. And I haven't www.pangdemonium.com. looked back since.

WORDS: JANINE LEE, STU HOOD, RAJ CHAUDHURI AND THOMAS ALEXANDER,. PHOTS: TPG IMAGES

who came to an English club in 1995. Going from Spain to Wigan was like going to the moon. At that time, I learnt how bad it feels to have no voice. All of a sudden, you cannot communicate. You feel something and you want to transmit it. When you can’t do that, it becomes very frustrating. It makes you feel like you’ll never fit in. The most amazing feeling is when you start thinking in English. And then you start dreaming in it. You can’t manage people who don’t want to be managed. Players are just people. They’ve all got their own problems — whether that’s family, stress or anxieties. You can see the differences in the education systems from different cultures. Some players are much more disciplined. I’ve worked with South Korean footballers and they are a joy. They really respect education. We need to go back to the old ways. Being a teacher is one of the hardest jobs in our society. As parents, we always support our kids, so the teacher can become too afraid to do his or her job properly. They don’t feel in control. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to go back to how things used to be. More discipline.

Adrian Pang

AN NA H UANG

Remember the Time

Stand at attention boys, as FHM Models 2013 2nd runner-up Anna Huang takes us back to her wild school days… Words: Gladys Goh Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Joel Low Styling: Cheryl Chan

Cotton T-shirt, by B2b. Cotton panties, by La Senza. Socks, stylist’s own. Photography assistance: Alfie Pan; Hair & makeup: Sha Shamsi/9628-7035

01/14

055

I

n knee-high socks and cute schoolgirl uniform, Anna Huang looks like a centrefold version of your secondary-school crush. With that thought etched in our minds, FHM rewinds the clock a few years back, as Anna relives her school days, from her crush to breaking rules to her run-ins with the dreaded “mean girls”. Were you from a co-ed or girls’ school? I was in a co-ed school throughout my schooling life, and I remember being bullied by boys back when I was in primary school because of my name. They’d call me “Anna Banana”, but it stopped when I went to secondary school. Do you still hang out with your friends from school? I’m quite close with my poly classmates and I also do keep in contact with my secondary-school classmates sometimes. Plus, one of my poly classmates happened to be my primary school classmate, so we meet often. Do you remember what your first crush was like? I had my first boyfriend when I was in primary school but it was just puppy love. Back then, he was the hottest guy in school and part of the basketball team. How did you get him to notice you? I didn’t really do anything but whenever I walked past him, I’d hope that he was looking at me. Did you ever have a crush on a PE teacher? No, but I used to have a crush on an IT teacher; I thought he looked really cute! Were you a bully or a bookworm? I wasn’t a bully but I wasn’t exactly a bookworm either. I was a pretty regular kid. What is the naughtiest thing you’ve done in school? I’d smoked in school, worn short skirts, ankle socks, coloured contact lens and had dyed hair.

056

01/14

AN NA H UANG

“I had my first boy friend when I was in primar y school but it was just puppy love.”

Lycra bra and panties, by Chalone. Cotton shorts and socks, stylist’s own. Opposite: Cotton T-shirt, by B2b. Terrycloth shorts, by Forever 21.

“I used to have a crush on a teacher; he looked really cute.”

Cropped tank top, by Forever 21. Bra (worn underneath) and cotton polka-dot panties, both by Cotton On Body. Socks, stylist’s own.

058

01/14

AN NA H UANG

AN NA H UANG

Do you think the way you dress now would warrant detention? Not really because I don’t usually dress revealingly, and I like to follow various styles. So I might be in a spaghetti-strap top and shorts today, and a hoodie and jeans tomorrow. Did you ever skip class to go out? Yes! Whenever my group of friends wanted to go somewhere during school hours, we’d leave and go together. And we never got caught. Not even once? What about being sent for detention? I was sent for detention once because I was late for school, and that’s why I was never late again after that. If you were sent for detention now, what do you think would the reason be? Maybe for being untidy because I leave my things everywhere at home, so I think my mum would probably send me for detention. Have you had any encounters with a mean girl? I’ve had a lot of encounters, actually, but the worst was when this girl initiated a fight with me over a really trivial issue. I can’t remember what it was about now. FHM

060

01/14

Cotton bra, by Triumph. Cotton panties, by La Senza. Opposite: Cropped T-shirt, stylist’s own. Cotton panties, by La Senza.

HOW TO WITH

Photography: Carlos Nunez

Bat way out of your league with the help of experts from the world of sex and psychology. And a comedian.

OUR EXPERT PANEL

062

01/14

CHRISTIAN HUDSON

FELIX ECONOMAKIS

DANIEL SLOSS

CEO of social-confidence company The Social Man. He knows how you can date the most beautiful women.

Behavioural psychologist and founder of treatmentsforthemind.co.uk. He knows the secrets of the female subconscious.

Scottish comedian. Says he has slept with most of his female friends but “it’s not awkward at all”. Sure.

CLOS E TH E DEAL

THE AFTERWORK DRINKS

THE FUNNY E-MAILS So you’ve got to the stage where you’re shooting e-mails back and forth across the office. This is hard. Every sentence has to be hilarious and meaningful, while coming across like you haven’t just spent 10 minutes agonising over each word. “Keep them short and sweet,” says Economakis. “Communicating through e-mail is fraught with danger as there’s so much room for misinterpretation.” Hudson says: “Two words — humorous absurdity: ‘There’s a pigeon looking at me through the window right now. Kind of creepy… Like his gaze is saying, I know what you did last summer.’” Sloss: “Just send loads of cat pictures.”

It’s Friday and everyone’s gone to the bar. That includes the new girl who wants to show she’s one of the gang. “She’ll look at how the others treat you,” says Hudson. “Do they look up to you or are you the butt of every joke? Take the lead and get the first round in. Then let the other chumps chat her up while you have a laugh with your mates. Some direct eye contact across the room will do more than a million one-liners.”

THE WATERCOOLER MOMENT Suddenly, the pair of you are face-to-face for the first time, sharing small talk over a cup of tea. “Never complain about your job or life,” says Hudson. “It’s not therapy hour.” Sloss: “Crack a joke. All girls love a good laugh. Then offer to buy her a proper coffee from the cafe downstairs. When the ice is broken, most women are usually quite approachable.”

THE NEW GIRL AT WORK Officially, your boss chose the new intern for her positive attitude, strong work ethic and common sense. The fact that she also just happens to be heart-meltingly beautiful, with hair that smells like cinnamon, is neither here nor there. Honest.

01/14

063

YOU’ VE BEEN “FRIEND ZONED” No matter how hard you try, your fit mate refuses to see you as anything other than an asexual companion. “The problem is she doesn’t see you as a challenge,” says Hudson. “Try talking about 50 Shades of Grey and then tease her about how you can’t imagine her having sex. Compare her to a plant that reproduces without sex. It won’t be long before she starts trying to prove how sexual she really is. Be patient and let her pride do the work.”

SHE KEEPS SITTING ON YOUR LAP

LETTING HER KNOW

Girls love to sit on guys’ laps. It paralyses men, like when cats pick their kittens up by the scruff of their neck. “Sometimes girls do this to guys they don’t even fancy because it provides a sort of validation and makes them feel desirable,” says Hudson. Sloss: “Don’t sniff her hair. It’s creepy. Instead honk her body parts such as her nose or tummy, and make a noise. Horns, trumpets, explosions, anything You’re friends, so you should be able to do that.”

If you fancy her, tell her. Don’t kid yourself into thinking she’s going to make the first move. Hudson: “But don’t, under any circumstances, go overboard and tell her about all your pent-up feelings. It’ll overwhelm her.” Sloss advocates directness: “Don’t be weird. When you’re drunk together, be upfront and say you think you should have sex. If she says no, be all like, ‘Well, that’s your loss.’”

THAT HOT FRIEND She comes out to drink with you and your mates, laughs at Mata Mata and makes jokes about your action figurine collection. The only thing she doesn’t do is have sex with you. Which is something you’re absolutely desperate to change.

064

01/14

CLOS E TH E DEAL

SHE’S ASKED WHAT YOU WANT This is it. First contact. “Order something simple,” says our behavioural psychologist Economakis. “One male characteristic that appeals to all women is someone stoic, not fussy.” Sloss agrees. Sort of: “Order an espresso. It’ll wake you up, and having to drink with your pinky up will make her think you’re sophisticated. Just don’t let her see you put in all the sugar and chocolate.”

THE WAIT You’ve ordered your hypermasculine triple-espresso and now you’re just going to stand there like an idiot while she makes it? This is prime chat time. “It’s always good to speak the unspoken thoughts in a girl’s head,” says seduction-supremo Hudson. “So if the guy before you was rude, say, ‘Man, I hope you threw in some extra sugar, he needs it this morning.’” Sloss: “If you get chatting, do what I do and complain to her about how hungover you are so she’ll think, ‘Wow, he must have a great social life.’ She doesn’t know you were at home, drinking vodka by yourself while playing Fifa 14. Crying.”

SETTING UP CAMP The best way to get to know a waitress is to spend more time around her. Luckily, she works in a café, so sitting around her place of employment all day isn’t a criminal offence. “Forget the laptop,” says Hudson. “Write in a notebook, look absorbed in what you’re doing, and she will eventually get curious about you.” When you do get chatting, forget about cheesy lines. “Directness is best. So make eye contact and ask her the story behind her necklace or tattoo. That always goes down well with baristas.”

THAT COFFEE GIRL Every time you see her, you get heart palpitations and can feel the sweat dripping down your brow. Could this be love? Or is it the fact she works in a cafe and ever since she smiled at you that one time you’ve developed a four-cup-a-day habit?

01/14

065

HAVING “THE TALK” At some point you’ll have to ’fess up and tell your mate what’s going on. Apart from qualifying for the special forces or getting a table at Tim Ho Wan on a Saturday evening, this is the hardest thing a man will ever have to do. “Just make sure you tell your mate before it goes past kissing,” says Hudson. “Honesty is always respected among bros.” Sloss: “Don’t say anything. Just show him an intimate picture of his sister and you. That friendship’s over anyway. If he seems upset, just say, ‘Well, at least it’s not your mum.’”

SHE’S GETTING PHYSICAL No, it’s not your imagination — her hugs really have been lasting longer recently. “Your buddy’s sister might have recognised in you the same positive traits she sees in her brother,” says Economakis, rather disturbingly. “Subconsciously she wants to date her brother, and you’re the closest thing to that. Then again, she might just be competing with her brother for your attention.” According to Sloss, it’s all about the shoulder squeeze: “Girls only squeeze the shoulders of guys they fancy.”

YOUR MATE LEAVES THE ROOM Uh-oh. It’s just the two of you. Your buddy could re-enter at any moment, so if you’re going to go in for a kiss, you have to make absolutely sure you haven’t misread the signals. Hudson: “If you’re next to her on the sofa, try tilting your head a bit and making direct eye contact — think Tom Cruise in Top Gun. If she returns the look, you’re good to go.”

YOUR BEST MATE’S SISTER How did that happen? One minute she was just that slightly annoying girl who was always bugging you for a go on Wii Tennis. Next thing you know, she’s an actual, amazing woman. It’s so wrong. But that’s what makes it so… Nope, it’s still wrong.

066

01/14

CLOS E TH E DEAL

YOU’RE BEHIND HER AT THE CHECKOUT Being stuck in the queue behind your supermarket sex bomb is a blessing. “Gossip rags give you the perfect icebreaker,” says Hudson. “Sy something like, ‘Man, I wish Qi Yiwu would come out the closet and admit he’s a robot’. And what you’re buying needs to send out the right message, too, says Ekonomakis: “Just make sure you’ve got more than Lay’s chips and chicken nuggets in your basket or she’ll think you’re a big kid.”

YOU’RE WAITING FOR A SIGN “Don’t get hung up on the signals a girl may or may not be giving,” says Hudson. “My last girlfriend told me she always wanted to meet a guy in the supermarket, yet she would appear deliberately ‘closed off’ because she didn’t want to be bothered by a guy who wouldn’t try and overcome her initial disinterest. Not surprisingly, she never met a guy in a grocery store, but it shows your best shot might come from just biting the bullet and going for it.”

YOU’RE BOTH ON THE SAME AISLE

This is it — time for the food chat. Number-one rule: Don’t tell her how to cook. “No one likes unsolicited advice from a stranger,” says Hudson. “Instead, pick up a turnip and say something like, ‘I keep trying to cook these things and I never get it right. But it keeps me coming back to try and crack its mystery.’ It’s not a question, but it’s rich enough to invite a reply.” Sloss: “Don’t forget to smell vegetables when you pick them up. I don’t know why. But you have to smell vegetables before you buy them.”

THAT SUPERMARKET SWEETHEART So you’re doing your shopping, picking up the essentials, when you turn into the fresh fruit and veg aisle and — bam — there she is: A grocery goddess. Stay calm. It’s time to put into practice the mysterious art of supermarket seduction.

01/14

067

SHE’S WATCHING YOU EXERCISE “In a gym, you’ll be surrounded by douchebags with issues doing thousands of bicep curls,” says Sloss. “So just act different from them. Sit in the middle of the floor and do Pilates.” Hudson recommends turning the gym into your own personal bar from Cheers: “Make friends. Get spots from the guys and say ‘hi’ to a few of the girls. Once she sees you’re sociable and friendly, it’ll be no problem to go up to her and say, ‘Hey, I haven’t met you yet, what’s your name?’”

TO SWEAT OR NOT TO SWEAT

It’s a tough one — do you go hard to show her you’re serious about fitness, thereby turning yourself into a sweat-drenched monstrosity, or do you slack off a bit to preserve your cool? “There was a study done that showed that when a woman’s ovulating, she is attracted to male sweat,” says Economakis. “Outside of that time she’s repulsed by it. There’s nothing you can do about that.” Sloss recommends achieving “a gentle glistening”.

YOUR CHEMICAL ROMANCE The good news is that during a work-out is the perfect time to approach a girl. Economakis: “When men and women work out they create testosterone in their bodies. It’s a turn-on hormone, so if you’re pumping iron you’ll feel more inclined to mate with someone. Or fight.” The bad news is that you have to pick your moment. “A lot of the time people just want to put their earphones in, focus on their routine.” Sloss: “Don’t approach a woman when you’re out of breath. Ever.”

THE FITNESS FITTIE When you got that gym membership in September, all your mates thought you’d have knocked it on the head by October. But it’s December and you’re still going. Is this anything to do with the Lycra-clad sex bomb who’s there every Tuesday and Thursday? Yeah, thought so.

068

01/14

CLOS E TH E DEAL

INTRODUCE YOURSELF Sadly, you’ve got a window of precisely four seconds each day to catch her eye as you pass each other. “After you’ve seen her a few times, introduce a wave and then a ‘Hey stranger’,” says Hudson. After that you’ll be okay to bend down to say ‘hi’ to the dog. “Start calling it ‘buddy’ or ‘baby’. Ask her why she chose that breed, and then when the time’s right, tell her you know a park that’s ‘butt-sniffin’ heaven’ and make a date of it. Don’t forget to bring a treat for the pup.”

GET YOUR OWN POOCH If you really want to hit it off with the dog-walker, you’re going to need your own four-legged poop-machine. “If you have one yourself, she’ll immediately project all the positive associations she has about dog-owning on to you,” says Economakis. “You’re instantly a loyal, kind, dedicated person.” Sloss: “I’ve taught my labrador to give hugs. Girls see her hugging me and think it’s really sweet. But the dog just wants a biscuit. It’s pure dependency.”

HER DOG BITES YOU That little s**t just bit you! Choke down your fury. Punting her pooch into a bin might feel like the right thing to do but it’s not going to help your chances. Economakis: “If you’re good around animals, a woman will always see this as a positive. It’s the same as if you’re good with kids — she’ll subconsciously imagine you being good with her own kids.”

THE DOG WALKER You see her every day, at exactly the same time. Walking her dog and looking sexier than anyone has any right to at seven in the morning. How sexy? She still looks hot when bending down to scoop up canine excrement. That’s how sexy. FHM

01/14

069

Leopard-print cotton bra and panties, by La Senza. Hair: Antonio Cheng/9363-5145. Makeup: Ronalou Lau/ Ronaloulau.com

Words: Gladys Goh Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Kelvin Chia Styling: Cheryl Chan

Behind th FHM cosies up to one of Japan’s favourite AV stars, Namiki Yu,

070

01/14

NAMIKI YU

e Skin

and finds out that’s she’s every much like the rest of us.

From left: Cut-out lace Lycra T-shirt, by La Senza. Cotton bra, by Sloggi; Cotton bra with leopardprint trim, by La Senza. Cotton panties, by Chalone. Cotton polka-dot shorts, by Forever 21. Sunglasses, stylist’s own. Opposite: Wool cardigan, by Calvin Klein Jeans. Lycra lingerie set, by Chalone. Printed cotton skater skirt, by Forever 21.

S

he’s played the starring role in many male fantasies and provided hours of sensory pleasure to faceless johns across virtual space. When Japan’s sprawling billion-dollar adultentertainment industry comes calling, you answer with a doll-like face, perfect body and the finely tuned ability to turn men on with a single sexy look — and suddenly it’s not hard to see why adult stars like Namiki Yu (“Please, call me YuTam”, she says) are coveted, obsessed over and idolised. And while she’s amazing to look at and oozes sex appeal, when you strip away the glossy veneer, the woman beneath is charming, surprisingly shy and undeniably real. And in a way, we feel that adds invaluably to the experience.

072

01/14

NAMIKI YU

“I’m usually totally naked when I’m at home.”

Striped satin bra, by Chalone. Cotton panties, by La Senza. Opposite: Striped cotton tank top, by Forever 21. Lycra bra and thong, both by Triumph.

NAMIKI YU

“Japanese men are more cold and shy, so they’re not ver y proactive with ladies.” It’s your first time in Singapore, how do you like the city so far? I’ve noticed a lot of greenery in the city; it’s beautiful. The road is big and clean and there’re loads of shopping malls. I visited the Night Safari and it’s very different compared to the one in Japan. The Japanese one has a lot of fences and you can’t see the animals up close, but it’s more dynamic in Singapore — the animals can come closer and I enjoyed it a lot. We’re known for our food, too. Do you have any favourites? I’ve tried chicken rice and I love it! What differences have you noticed between Singaporean and Japanese men? I can tell that many of the guys here work out very hard and keep in shape. Fitness seems to be a big thing here. While some Japanese men do work out, the majority don’t really go to the gym. Singaporean men are also very sweet, while Japanese men are more cold and shy, so they’re not very proactive with ladies. Are you considering breaking into the Singapore market? We’d love to see more of you here… One of the main reasons I’m here is to talk to local film production companies about various projects. I’ve already done several jobs in China, but I’m really interested in breaking into the Singaporean and South-east Asian market. I love being in the entertainment industry and would like to do some singing as well. You sing, too? I’m forming a girl band along with two other adult-entertainment actresses from Japan, and we’ll be performing around the region. We all have different roles so we’ll be singing, dancing and DJ-ing, and hope to debut really soon! Do you get recognised on the streets? I do, guys will come up to me and tell me how I’m their perfect type 01/14

075

NAMIKI YU

Striped cotton bra and cotton panties, both by La Senza. Striped cotton skater skirt, by Forever 21.

“Guys will come up to me and tell me how I’m their per fect t ype…” and ask if I’d like to have coffee with them. Although I don’t have a boyfriend, I usually just say that I have one because I’m not interested in going out with them. Does your job make being in the bedroom boring? No, I never get bored of it. I enjoy my private, intimate moments more than work. Japan is an ageing population and people are investing less time in meaningful relationships, do you feel the same way? I realise there are many girls and boys in their 20s who tend not to have partners, and instead spend more free time by themselves. But when they get to their 30s, that’s when they start to feel time is running out and begin to get into relationships. Personally I, too, feel the same way. I just want to concentrate on my career for now and enjoy being single. What type of men would you go for, then? I like men who are very sweet, but I tend to be the jealous type so I wouldn’t want him to be sweet towards any other girls. I also like men who eat a lot, because I love food. So would your boyfriend be in loads of trouble if he checked out another girl while he’s out with you? I would just glare at him and be very sarcastic. I’d also observe what type of girl he’s checking out, and would try to be like that kind of girl. What do you like to do on your day off? I enjoy anime and cosplay. I’ll meet my friends and go to a designated area in Tokyo where cosplayers gather, hang out there, check out other costumes and interact with the cosplay community. Tell us a secret about yourself that not many people know. I am usually totally naked when I’m at home. FHM

01/14

077

M Bo usi 01 TV oks c/DV/14 /M /M D ov an ies T H I S M O N T H ’ S T O P 10

UFC Fight Night Singapore Sports

Belgian welterweight mixed martial arts (MMA) champ, Tarec Saffiedine, talks about transitioning from the nowdefunct Strikeforce to his upcoming debut UFC fight.

Who gave you your nickname “Sponge”? It’s from my former coach in Belgium because every time he taught me a technique, I’d be able to replicate it right away. So he’d say, “You absorb technique like a sponge.” You were the reigning Strikeforce welterweight champ before the organisation was bought over (and shut down) by UFC owners Zuffa LLC. What was your last fight there like? It is a one of my biggest accomplishments so far.

It was the last show, last fight and I became the last Strikeforce welterweight champion; I couldn’t ask for better. Nobody’s going to take the title away from me — the belt is hanging right in front of my bed. How has your transition to UFC been? I haven’t fought in the UFC yet so it’s going to be new, but the upcoming Singapore bout is still going to be a fight like any other. Obviously, UFC is the world’s biggest MMA organisation, so I’m just really looking forward to it. Talk us through your pre-fight ritual. I try to stay as focused as I can; visualise the fight

and motivate myself. I also remember why I work so hard for it and everything just goes from there. Do you try to get into your opponent’s head before a fight? I’m not good at trash talking. I haven’t done it in the past, but maybe in the future, who knows? I focus more on my own strengths. I work really hard and that’s where I get my strength from. What’s your training schedule like? I train twice a day, six days a week — once in the morning and another in the afternoon.

01.14

“Like any high-level sport, a lot of what you do in MMA is a mental game. You can be as ready as you want physically, but if your mental focus isn’t there, it’s not worth the fight.”

WORDS: JANINE LEE; PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES/UFC

Bonding over an imaginary campfire at Evolve MMA.

Sometimes, I’ll add a third session if I feel up for it. But on Saturdays, I usually just train once. You’ve trained at Evolve MMA in Singapore. What are your thoughts on the academy? Its standard is really good. It’s got good coaches (world champions) and the team is really good at Brazilian jujitsu, which I love. Ever stepped into the ring for a fight, despite not being 100-per-cent fit, especially after an injury? It has happened to me a couple of times and it’s tough, but it’s all mental. If you’re able to “switch it

off”, you can overcome your lack of physicality. Like any high-level sport, a lot of what you do in MMA is a mental game. You can be as ready as you want physically, but if your mental focus isn’t there, it’s not worth the fight. During a fight, is it better to stay loose or keep yourself pumped? It’s a mix of both. I stay loose at the beginning of the fight — to see how it goes. I’m not someone who starts off really strong; I start slower, then pick it up as the fight goes on. Gradually, I’ll try to pump myself up. I’m like a marathon runner but I can also sprint when I need to.

You’ve been fighting professionally for seven years. Ever woken up one day feeling like you’re sick of taking or trading hits? Actually I started fighting as an amateur and competing when I was 15 years old, so it’s been almost 13 years now. As long as I’m still learning and enjoying what I do, I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. Ever used your skills in real-life situations? Fortunately, I’ve not had to use them in real life. I’m kind of quiet when I go out; very well behaved. I was bullied a little as a kid and I had my misadventures, but I remember my dad would usually take care of it; he was my defender. Which UFC fighter do you have your sights on? Right now, I’m completely focused on my Singapore-fight opponent, Lim Hyun-Gyu (from South Korea). What’s your game plan at UFC Fight Night Singapore and how do you forsee the outcome? From now till fight night, I will be working really, really hard every day. Every fight you win in the UFC is a step forward; that’s why every fighter in the organisation wants to win badly. You want to keep progressing and climbing up the ranks (for a chance of a championship fight). As for the outcome on 4 January, I see my hands raised at the end of the fight; there’s no other way. UFC Fight Night Singapore happens 4 January at Halls E and F, Sands Expo and Convention Centre. For updates on the fight card, visit www.ufc.com. Tickets available from Sistic outlets. 01/14

079

01.14

Dance

Red Bull Flying Bach

We all like to believe that we could show off our snazzy moves on the dance floor but really, we’re just a bunch of folks awkwardly fist-pumping or toe-tapping (or not) to the beat of the music. The Flying Steps breakdancers, on the other hand, move from one stunt to another effortlessly. FHM talks to member Lil Ceng about his athletic talent and the collective’s latest performance, Red Bull Flying Bach.

Red Bull Flying Bach uses Johann Sebastian Bach’s music as soundtrack. How has the response been like? When we first danced to Bach’s music, everyone commented that when breakdance is paired with funk or hip-hop, it is nice, but with classical music, it is so much better — the movement really fits the music. This is what we look for whenever we do the show — fluidity of movement. How did you get into breakdancing? The first time I watched a breakdance performance was on TV; it was by The Flying Steps, the crew I’m with now. When I saw the tricks and stunts, I thought, “Wow, what is this? I want to learn it!” The first time I tried it was when my cousin brought me to practice in the city. Is there any dancer you idolise? Yeah, Benny Kimoto, also from The Flying Steps. He’s really famous for his power moves, which are acrobatics in breakdance. When I was 080

01/14

young, I’d always looked up to him. It’s crazy because now we’re living together in Berlin! How has breakdance changed your life? I get to travel a lot. If I was doing something else, I might not be given the same opportunities. What’s the deal about breakdancers having fancy nicknames? When you have special names like “Spiderman” or “Batman”, it makes you feel like a hero. What is the meaning behind your nickname, Lil Ceng? Before I was in The Flying Steps, I was in another crew going around the world having breakdance battles. A friend of mine said, “We need to find a name for you.” My name’s Gengis and was also the youngest in the crew, so he went “Lil Ceng”, and I was like “Okay, perfect! No problem”. What goes on in a breakdance battle? It is really like impromptu dancing. During a breakdance battle, I’d observe my competitor’s moves and tap on his weakness. For example, if he lacked power moves, I'd try to incorporate more power moves in my dance to outshine him. If he lacked energy or showed that he is not confident of his steps, I’d make sure the judges can see that I’m better than him in those aspects.

“I practice my [breakdance] moves six to seven hours daily.”

The best things to do would be to be confident of yourself, shut everything else off your mind and let your body take control. Practice makes perfect. How much time do you spend practising your moves? Usually I’ll practise on my own for six to seven hours daily, but during performance period, we practise less. We need enough rest to let our bodies recuperate. Ever forgotten a step during a show? Many times! When you make a little mistake in one part, you tend to forget the subsequent parts. Thankfully, the audience, on most occasions, doesn’t realise it. Ever used your moves to get a girl? No! We dance when we hit the clubs but it’s not because we want to take a girl back home or anything like that. It’s more of how we feel really good when we dance. Is there a strict diet you follow? No. Whenever I dance, I eat a lot so as to replenish the energy. And when we’re on tour, we often look for good food. We also don’t eat an hour before a show to allow the food to digest. If you participate in the Olympics, what are you chances of winning a medal in gymnastics? Not a chance! Gymnastics is a different field altogether and I’m sure gymnasts have a special and niche training in place. I can’t be as graceful as them, too, so there is no way I’d get a medal.

Catch Red Bull Flying Bach at the Esplanade from 16 to 19 Jan. Visit sistic.com for tickets.

WORDS: GLADYS GOH, PHOTOS: RED BULL

FHM gets tight with b-boy Gengis Ademoski, famously known as Lil Ceng, from four-time world-champion breakdancing ennead, The Flying Steps.

01.14

The Marshall Mather LP 2 Get excited for the Real Slim Shady’s return.

Movies

Filth

FHM talks dirty with Billy Elliot.

WORDS: FHM UK

Remember when Jamie Bell was a ballet-dancing pre-teen mummy’s boy? Not any more. This January, he stars alongside James McAvoy in Filth, a sweary, sexed-up and utterly brilliant adaptation of the Irvine Welsh novel. We talked dirty to the 27-year-old, and even got him to fess up to photocopying his own balls and taking pictures of puddles of puke in his spare time… In Filth, all sorts of wrongness happens. Is this the most NSFW film to come out of Britain? I didn’t even know what NSFW meant before I did this film. I’d heard it being said before, but I was like, “What the f**k is that?” I thought it was some weird American radio station. What’s the bit you’re least looking forward to your gran seeing? Maybe when my head turns into a mountain of cocaine, or when me and James McAvoy spit-roast a girl. Nana won’t like that part either. We’re guessing that this is the first time you’ve had to photocopy your balls, too… I’ve never done it in real life, so that’s definitely

a first. There are loads of firsts for me in this film. Such as? Doing class-A drugs, f**king prostitutes, that sort of thing. Oh, and dancing badly on camera. Jon [Baird, director] thought it would be funny to get Billy Elliot to dance really sh**tily. We heard that while filming in Scotland,you dabbled in some scenic photography… Yeah, I decided to take pictures of vomit on the street. It would have made a great coffee table book. Filth is showing in selected theatres from 2 January.

Eminem has a new album out. Hard to get too excited, isn’t it? Sure, you want to hear it, but it doesn’t feel like the earthquaking event that a new Slim Shady album once was. Even Eminem has struggled to get hyped: When recently asked what excited him most about the album’s release, he replied, “Nothing. I’ll probably be most excited to just be done with it.” Okaaay… It’s been 14 years since Eminem first blew up, and as we’ve become blasé about his super-human rapping abilities, so, it seems, has he. Recently, he’s like a late-career boxing champ: Still capable of landing heavy blows, but less hungry, less quick on his feet, more reliant on empty aggression. What’s left to prove? He can still shift millions of records so, at this stage, why try harder? But the fact that Eminem has christened his new album The Marshall Mathers LP 2 indicates that the 41-year-old is looking to rediscover some of his early magic. The Eminem who could steal entire albums with one guest verse? The Eminem that had the power to undo the damage that Vanilla Ice wreaked on white hip-hop? The Eminem that inspired a magnitude of today’s hip-hop hard-hitters, from Danny Brown to Macklemore? The Eminem who made Stan, for Christ’s sake? We know he’s still in there. Let’s have him back, Marshall, one last time. The Marshall Mathers LP 2 is available online. 01/14

081

01.14

Screen Idols

Stare? What stare?

FHM’s list of new fictional heroes.

Hero 1: UN investigator Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) Seen on: World War Z Star quality: Lady and zombie killer, and can out-pant any Race the Dead contestants.

PHOTO: UNIVERSAL STUDIO HOME ENTERTAINMENT

Christopher Mintz-Plasse on reprising the role of Chris D’Amico and his alter ego The Motherf**ker. Everybody weeps.

082

How did you feel when you first put on The Motherf**ker costume? When I was doing my costume fitting, I had a 100-degree fever; I had to throw on five different styles of leather outfits for about two hours! I think I lost about half my body weight in sweat. The costume looks amazing, but it was a nightmare and so hard to wear. It took about 30 minutes to get on and 30 minutes to get off. I couldn’t even move in the thing. Did you feel ridiculous? I did but that’s the point — it looks ridiculous. It looks hilarious, sadistic and demented. When I wore it, I felt like The Motherf**ker. I’d say the costume is half the acting. It looked so good. A lot of the humour comes from the fact that The Motherf**ker is trying to be so evil but Chris D’Amico is just a kid, right? Exactly. That’s one of the things I like about my character… We wanted to play it completely serious and the humour comes from a 17-yearold kid who thinks he is The Joker but, really, he is just a kid with a suit on… For inspiration, I watched The Punisher — he lost his family, every single one. When that happens, you have nowhere to turn to except revenge. That’s what happened to my character. I also watched Heath Ledger’s version of the Joker because [Kick-Ass creator] Mark Millar told me when he was writing The Motherf**ker, he had Leger’s character in mind. 01/14

Do you enjoy violent movies? I like violent movies; I like something that takes me away from real life, whether it is action, horror, comedy or violence. If it’s a good movie, it’s a good movie. The violence in Kick-Ass 2, while heavy, is also cartoonish. I mean Mother Russia is throwing a lawnmower through a cop car. That comes from the imagination of [writer/director] Jeff Wadlow, and I’m a fan of it. Do you have a favourite superhero? I was a huge Wolverine fan when I was younger. My dad is a great artist. He’s retired now, but when we were younger, he painted an Iron Man mural on my brother’s wall. I’d always wanted one of Wolverine, but being the second child, he never painted it on my wall. It’s quite sad. Do you walk around in disguise when you go out, just to see how people react? People don’t really care. I get called “McLovin’” (Superbad) and “Red Mist” (Kick-Ass). When I get recognised, people are usually nice. I’m not Brad Pitt or anybody like that. But the reaction varies. There are a lot of people who come up and just want a hug and a picture. There are others who come up rowdy, a bit drunk. Then, very rarely, there are some who think that because I have done a movie, they know me and can be really mean. But it’s okay. Kick-Ass 2 is out on Blu-Ray and DVD.

Hero 2: Pro golfer Wallace Avery (Colin Firth) Seen on: Arthur Newman Star quality: Has the balls to leave his estranged life by faking his own death, then assuming another person’s identify.

Heroes 3: Magic supergroup the Four Horsemen (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco) Seen on: Now You See Me Star quality: Modern-day Robin Hoods who use illusion to steal from the rich to give to the debt-ridden.

Heroes 4: Google interns Billy and Nick (Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn) Seen on: The Internship Star quality: Although more old school than a kopitiam uncle, they still manage to bulls**t their way into a coveted internship programme.

Hero 5: Hitman Jimmy Bobo (Sylvester Stallone) Seen on: Bullet to the Head Star quality: Proves that Botox, if done right, can keep any face firmly in place — even in the thick of action.

All out on Blu-Ray and DVD.

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Kiss-Ass 2 DVD

01.14

TV

SAF3

WORDS & PHOTOS: KIX & KIX HD

You can depend on Dolph Lundgren to take the lead in extreme rescue missions — after all he is He-Man, Universal Soldier and an Expendables mercenary, all rolled into one.

Tell us about your character in the new action-adventure series, SAF3. I play John Eriksson, leader of an elite rescue group called SAF3 (Sea, Air Fire and Rescue). In the show, my headquarters is based in Malibu, California, but shot on location in South Africa. I have a team who works for me, and we save people off the coast in Malibu. How did you get your prime form for the series? Staying in top form has always been a lifestyle cornerstone. Aside from it being directly tied to my physically demanding roles, it has been a state of being. I started off in ice hockey, then martial arts. I have the basic groundwork. I keep it up all the time because of my job. I do weight training, martial arts, balancing and stretching, as I get a bit older, as well as some swimming and cross-training. It’s a mix of different things. Why did you decide to take on this role? It was the script initially. I thought it was a good character. This is a guy who is the leader of the unit and has a lot of personal problems. I think it shows more of a normal guy than the “superhero” people know me as. Another reason: I was thinking TV is a bit more long-

term. You work for a period of time. I think some of the writing in film used to be superior to television. Now it is turning around. It used to be about the effects and spectacle; I think television has good writing and good characters. How do you feel playing a fallible leader? I have probably played action roles for too long. You just start to get caught in clichés. You play it anxious, irritable and upset. And sometimes, you don’t feel like you’re in character, inside. A lot of the movies, you say three words and fire 5,000 bullets and blow out a tank. Here, it’s more like 500 words and you shoot three people. For me, it has been like an acting lab and it has been a good experience. Having explored the full range of action scenarios, tell us about some of the action scenes in SAF3. Well, I’ve done pretty much everything. Although, I haven’t done fire stunts. Diving was new. Mostly, it is character-driven stuff. What do you think about the crew in South Africa? I’ve always enjoyed working with a mixed pool of international and local actors. I think the people down there are quite friendly and nice;

they are very good as well. Just because I’m a Hollywood actor doesn’t mean I’m a better actor. You have to realise: They are all working actors. How do you find the continent? My two daughters came here, one from Sweden and the other from Spain. We went shark diving and on a safari tour where we saw the “Big Five”. I haven’t been to wine country yet. What’s next for you? I’m about to go to Thailand. I am co-starring and producing Skin Trade, a movie I co-wrote. It is about human trafficking. How is the SAF3 set different from The Expendables 3? There are fewer weapons here… and I don’t see Stallone anywhere. Otherwise I enjoyed it, it’s different, you know — action movies. With actions flicks, you got much less dialogue and more action. Here, it’s the other way round; you get much more dialogue and different action. SAF3 premieres first and exclusively on Tuesday, December 17, at 10pm on KIX (StarHub Cable TV Channel 518) and KIX HD (SingTel mioTV Channel 309). 01/14

083

01.14 Comic

Comic Comeback

The five worth waiting for.

Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman is making a return after 10 years. We got our resident comic guru Jonathan Ross to pick some others to get your teeth into…

Games

Watch Dog We can’t stop terrorising the streets of Los Santos in GTA V, but we’re already priming our thumbs for a hardcore workout with Watch Dogs. Here are four reasons why it’s set to be 2014’s game to watch…

Explore a Huge City A full-sized Chicago is your playground. But it’s not just big — it’s also denser than Channel 8 drama, filled with more people, and loads of potential friends and foes you can buddy up and interact with.

Spider Man Stan Lee and Steve Ditko “It created the legend and gave us the DNA that shaped pop culture.”

Fight Even Better Sure, Franklin’s flying punch might be tons of fun in GTA V, but Watch Dogs’ little smartphone gives you a stack of proper fighting tips, upping your brawling skills so you mean business. Watch Dogs will be released in second quarter of 2014.

All-Star Superman Grant Morrison and Frank Quietly “The boy from Krypton re-energised by a couple of overly talented jocks.”

WORDS: FHM UK

Even Smarter Smartphones Your GTA V iFruit has nothing on the in-game phone here. Cause city-wide blackouts to ditch police, find out the blood type of the guy on the other side of the street and hack any surveillance camera that tickles your fancy.

01/14

Fatale Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips “This is really gritty horror noir from two of today’s finest.”

The Authority Warren Ellis and Bryan Hitch “Widescreen superhero action for the WikiLeaks generation.”

Online Won’t Be a Fail Enter your mate’s game and hack him to hell. He’ll try to, well, kill you, but if you get away, you keep his secrets — plus bragging rights. Better than GTA V’s first 24 hours of catastrophic online meltdown, for sure.

084

Top 10 Alan Moore, Gene Ha and Zander Cannon “Simply a must-read. Think Hill Street Blues meets The Avengers.”

01.14

Try harder, Anthony!

Movies

Oscar Predictions

It’s that time of year when Oscar-hungry masterpieces are unleashed upon the cinema-going public. Here are FHM’s big contenders for 2014’s top movie prize…

In a Nutshell 12 Years a Slave The brutal and true story of Solomon Northup, detailing his kidnapping and sale into the Louisiana slave trade. This Steve McQueen-directed (no, not that one) flick took top honours at several film festivals.

FHM Pick

Gravity George Clooney and Sandra Bullock star in every agoraphobic’s worst nightmare, as a pair of astronauts left stranded by a space mission gone awry. Great on the eye, if not the blood pressure.

WORDS: FHM UK. PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES?CLICK PHOTOS. ODDS COURTESY OF PADDY POWER. CORRECT AT THE TIME OF GOING TO PRESS.

American Hustle This telling of a 1970s FBI crackdown on con artists is as good as an open invitation to give director David O Russell his long-craved statuette after near-misses with The Fighter and Silver Linings Playbook. The Wolf of Wall Street Martin Scorsese’s real-life story of hard-boozin’, hard-partyin’ New Yorker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), whose billion-dollar manipulation of the stock market funded decadent highs and crippling lows. Inside Llewyn Davis Having conquered the Wild West (True Grit), Texas backwaters (No Country for Old Men) and depressing Middle America (Fargo), the Coen Brothers turn their attentions to the sounds of the ’60s in New York City. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom Director Justin Chadwick successfully captures the gritty, hard-knock-life of one of history’s most famous sons – Nelson Mandela (Idris Elba) — in this highly rated biopic.

Lady to Love

Drink to Smuggle In

Winning Odds Based on a book + true story + historical nasty =

Ashley Dyke

Rum and Coke

11/ 10

Floating in space + insane cinematography x the Clooney factor = Sandra Bullock (She’s still got it)

White Russian

7/ 2

Superstar dream team + third-time luck x J-Law = Jennifer Lawrence

Bourbon on the rocks

4/ 1

Scorsese and DiCaprio + Sopranos writer x true story = Margot Robbie

Overpriced champagne

16/ 1

Coens + Cannes success + Americana = Carey Mulligan

Pint of US lager

20/ 1

True story x Stringer Bell + catchy drum beats at the end = Naomie Harris

South African Sauvignon Blanc

33/ 1

01/14

085

01.14

Books

Neo Prints Five great new reads for the new year.

Breasts Florence Williams When the author found out that her breast milk was tested positive for chemical toxins, she decided to embark on a journey to learn more about breasts. From its evolution to the purpose it actually serves, this informative book helps keep us abreast about the issues pertaining to lady lumps. After all, it’s no secret that we like to ogle at them; so why not learn more and, perhaps, even save God’s best gift to men?

The Coincidence Authority JW Ironmonger Is life really predestined or do we simply choose to believe what is easier? When Azalea Lewis came to terms with the belief that she’s going to die on Midsummer’s day, she turned Thomas Post against his belief that coincidences are merely the results of the law of chance. A love story (no shame reading about such stuff, guys) about two souls trying to unweave the threads of their past; this atypical tale makes you question the existence of fate, and if everything is really just a mathematical concept of odds.

Doomed Chuck Palahniuk Following the success of Damned, Doomed pieces together the puzzles left unsolved in the prequel. Quite literally to hell and back, protagonist Maddie returns as a ghost and learns how she earned her place in the underworld, plus the cause of her death (erotic asphyxiation, by the way). With chapters written in the form of online-message-board postings, and some posted from a mysterious hadesbrainiacleonard@ aftrlife.hell, who would have thought that hell would be so tech-savvy?

The Wolves of Midwinter Anne Rice Before you roll your eyes at yet another werewolf yarn, let us assure you this isn’t another one of those cliché forbiddenlove — or, to put plainly, beastialism — stories. The latest instalment of the Wolf Gift Chronicles puts the grit and teeth in the hairy folklore, as it follows Morphenkinder (“man wolf”) Reuben Golding through his heroic — and bloody — adventures. Still not sold? Well, just bear in mind that if it makes girls swoon over the scruffy, unkempt look, then we’re in!

WORDS: GLADYS GOH. PHOTOGRAPHY: EALBERT HO

How to Eat Out Giles Coren Spliced with invaluable stories and peppered with humour and candidness, food-critic Coren packs everything you need to know about having an enjoyable pig-out. Whether it’s the topic of yummy dim sum or the woes of ordering wine, this handbook has got it all covered. And for those who have to deal with menacing glares in public transport because of the pack of char kway teow nicely seated on your lap, here’s a tip (in the words of this connoisseur): “Think f*** ’em”.

086

01/14

RewaRds. FRom me to you.

Get RewaRded in style. » »

VIP tickets and backstage passes to the hottest concerts and events in town Exclusive merchant privileges, retail premiums, vouchers and more

Only here at MEclub, get the rewards you really want.

SCAN ME WITH MECLUB APP TO GET STAR POINTS!

To register, visit MEclub.com.sg today. Download the MEclub App at Google Play or the App Store. Like us on www.facebook.com/MEclub.com.sg

LO O K

B E T T E R ,

JANUARY 2014 $6.00

CULINARY MYTHS:

What’s true, what’s not

CHEF WILLIN LOW Get your hands dirty in the kitchen… And enjoy it!

P L A Y

B E T T E R

GOOD FOOD ISSUE!

HEARTY PARTIES Man-food recipes

Hot new tables Andorra — your next hot destination FLIP FOR FHM

SUBSCRIPTION

FHM ’S AMAZING SUBSCRIPTION DEAL! LO O K

B E T T E R ,

P L A Y

EAR Y E N O GET RIPTION SUBSC ! 4 5 $ Y L N O R FO (UP $72) THRAETE TH MEANESS FREE! ISSU

B E T T E R

HESM FGO TO BACK

SCHO

E! S MAGAZIN LLING MEN’ RE’S0 BEST SE GAPO SIN 2014 $6.0 JANUARY

JANUARY 2014 $6.00 O L!

GOOD FOOD ISSUE!

CULINARY MYTHS:

NS INSTITUTIO D WE WISHE ED ND TE at’s WE ATWh true, HOOLat’s not SCwh SKILLS FOR MEN

HEARTY PARTIES Man-food rec

D E AL WIT H

RE S IN G A P O OWDOW

N

ELENE & WITH RO

DOMINIQ

G M CLA

SWE OR SWE

DESTROYER

Get your hands dir ty kitchen… And enj in the oy it!

CO M ES TO

IDRIS ELBA

Hot nWIZARD w tabPIN-UP les Andorra RUPERT —GRINT our next hot d tination SCREAMING BABE

UE!

-STAR SH

WIN AT LIFE:

LATES F TNE T GEAR

LORENZ A IZZO

Pay only $54 for all these: TV REALITY

THE WORKOUT ISSUE

2013 $6.00

SEEING STARS SPECIAL: MONSTER

LIP FOR FHM

COP ATA HOT A M THE M MAT FRO

RICHIE JEN

■ First issues off the press.

P pu T h ra in wa e

■ Free delivery every month.

B E T T E R

0!

MAY 2013 $6.00

C LO TH E

BEGIN! U FC

P L A Y

SINGAPORE’S BEST SELLING MEN’S MAGAZINE! NOVEMBER

H O W ST OE

FI G

B E T T E R ,

Prem ium s wo rth over

ipes

CHEF WILLIN LOW

HE L E T TH T

LO O K

WIN ! $9,0 0

tor shares

FROM FAT TO FIT IN JU T 8 WEEKSS

Enjoy whisk y like a pro Dating advice FLIP FOR

FHM

■ 12 issues for the price of 9!

YES, I WANT TO SUBSCRIBE! 1-YEAR SUBSCRIPTION* (12 issues) S$54

Subscription rates are inclusive of postage. Overseas subscription rates are based on air mail rates. We may use your data and other information for any purpose including research and for sending you information on other products and services in the future. If you disagree with this, indicate by ticking in the box provided here. Otherwise, we will assume that you have no objections. Be assured that high standards of data protection are in place to protect your personal particulars.

I disagree

Issue #183

I WISH TO PAY BY CHEQUE

MR/MRS/MS:

(cheque only applicable to Singapore)

NRIC: ADDRESS:

DOB:

BANK: CHEQUE NO: (Made payable to MediaCorp Pte Ltd in Singapore dollars)

CREDIT CARD POSTAL CODE: COUNTRY:

MAIL MediaCorp Pte Ltd, TechPoint #01-06/08, 10 Ang Mo Kio St 65, Singapore 569059.

E-MAIL:

E-MAIL [email protected]

TEL: (HOME)

ENQUIRIES (65) 6483-1555 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)

TEL: (OFFICE)

MasterCard

Visa

Amex

(All charges will be made in Singapore dollars)

NAME OF CARDHOLDER: CONTACT: CREDIT CARD NO: EXPIRY DATE:

MOBILE : CARDHOLDER’S SIGNATURE

OCCUPATION:

DATE:

TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Subscription is non-refundable and non-returnable • Allow four to six weeks for the delivery of the first issue • Offer available to readers in Singapore only and not valid in conjunction with other promotions • Rates include postage and handling charges • Current subscribers may enjoy the promotion by extending current subscription period • Subscription will continue upon expiry unless MediaCorp is informed in writing. MediaCorp shall proceed to invoice for subscription fee • Prices inclusive of GST (MediaCorp Pte Ltd GST no. MR-8500419-5)

We’re looking for the next

FHM COVER GIRL ED D IE P EN G

MO VIE STA R TAL KS FAC IAL S

SINGAPORE’S BEST SELLING MEN’S MAG $6.00 AZINE!

AUGUST 2013

MA TUR E REA DER S ON LY

TRU E STO RY

“T HE SH AR K KE PT SH AK IN M E UN TI L IT G RI PP ED M Y HA M ST RI NG OU T”

TH IN G S

REAL

MEN

GI RL S OF FH M

DO ON VA CATI ON

KEL LY BRO OK VEN ICE MIN

SAVE TH E

IOUSS V E R P NNER WI

GIRL IN TOWN

WI N!

H wootel s r tay $6 th ov ,00 ers 0!

VOTED MA GAZIN .SG AUGUS E OF THE T 2010. $6.00 YEAR 2010!*

WWW.FHM .COM

SING HEROAPORE

HOW TO PARTICIPATE?

Send two recent high-resolution colour photographs (1 close-up facial & 1 full-length shot) by e-mail to [email protected] with the following details: • • • •

Name Date of birth E-mail Mobile number

• Age • I/C number • Address

Criteria for contestants: • Must be at least 18 years old on 31 January 2014. • Contest is open to foreigners, but they must have lived in Singapore for at least a year. • Minimum height: 1.65m. • Cannot be exclusively attached to a modelling agency. • Comfortable wearing lingerie or swimsuit for photo shoots. • Terms and conditions apply upon acceptance of your application.

NOMINATE A FRIEND

and if she’s one of our Top 10 finalists, you win $200 cash and exclusive invites to the Finals. Terms and conditions: • The contestant that you nominate must be aware of the nomination made by you. • If the same contestant is nominated by more than one person, the nomination entry will be based on the first nomination. • Cash prizes will be presented to the winners at the FHM Models 2014 Finals. • Closing date for FHM Models 2014 nomination is 28 February 2014.

14 PE PLES! E WHOO ’R AKINGE UR LIV ORE ES AND RESTING

45

LI E N I JASM

! N I W ! WINNER

Me et.

.. Al ain

‘Sp ide

BOUT LKS A ER TA AND WINN SALS OUR D PROPO AILS. WEIR GHTY E-M NAU

rm an

’ Ro be rt

Jo ce lyn

Ch ew

Ex -M iss

rize, p h s a c ll get aspread and i w r e n n Wi over photo prizes. a c any other m

Ma lay

THINGS SINGAP A OREAN MAN SH OULD KNOW (AS ADVISE D BY OUR W OMEN ) THE W ORLD’ S GRUE MOST SERIAL SOME KI THE MAN LLER W WAN HO JUMP TS TO FROM SPACE

* By www. marketing-in teractive.com

sia Ela ine

Da ly

05 chef willin low

05 PULSE

Chef Willin Low

Wild Rocket owner and TVshow host on the perfect house party.

1o Food Myths Busted Behind every hoax is a truth.

14 Man-food Recipes

Easy-to-cook and superdelicious chow from the man they call DJ BBQ,

22 HEDONISM Dining

Five recurring favourites with new outlets and menus, plus three hot new tables.

27 Travel

We show you where exactly is Andorra and why you should visit it.

01/2014

Contents 10

14 24

27

GO AHEAD PINCH OUR FHM* MODELS

DOWNLOAD OUR DIGITAL MAGAZINES TO ENRICH YOUR READING EXPERIENCE. Visit Magzter at http://www.magzter.com/publishers/MediaCorp DOWNLOAD THE 8 DAYS EAT APP. IT’S FREE!

MILEY CYRUS

P72

LADY GAGA

TOO MUCH

TOO LITTLE

LIFE-CHANGING INVENTIONS

王禄江 BRYAN WONG

ALL WACKO BULLIED TEACHERS

P20

S

$ 3 20 Sept 2013

SINGAPORE’S BEST SELLING MEN’S MAGAZINE! DECEMBER 2013 $6.00

istimewa

827 5SEP2013

THEACT-

江

破冰 之旅!

pengakuan

澳洲 独家

SMART ISSUE

No 1194 SEPT 5, 2013

THEY NOT STUPID. THEY JUST NOT BOOK-SMART. MEET TERROR STUDENTS EDWIN GOH, JULIE TAN & JAYLEY WOO

小小传奇 现身狮城

AB ShAik, hyRuL ANuAR, SEzAiRi SEzALi, CEf BOB, ShikiN iMRAN, SARAh AqiLAh, fAtiMAh MOhSiN & JAi WAhAB

我是

神经病! 新蝙蝠侠

言承旭　

全民抓狂 秘恋嫩模

1本2册 精彩 继续

RSU PE LE TH E ED IB BE Y BA IN CR SP LA

VA M P Y CO

FHM THAILAND GND WINNER HYPNOTIST ALAN BATES

BIT ME PP ED RE ST RITO BA AL S! WN DO SE N TI ES

SUPERSTAR DJ PETE TONG CHELSEA’S BEST FRANK LAMPARD

Nora danish & Adiputra teman tapi mesra Sheikh haikel & Belle Nafi berpisah! Aziz AhMAd

Masih berahsia

CiNtA

resipi 8mmmdap

uNtuk OpEN hOuSE

ShiLA

patah satu tak bererti retak seribu…hati Shila Amzah kini bertaut di China?

GET GORGEOUS “I’M PROOF YOU CAN BE HAPPY AFTER POSTNATAL DEPRESSION” GET A GRIP! BITE IDEAS

Aku dan keretAku...

瑞恩 陈罗密欧

AH LIAN TATTLETALE

this issue

NO.

PLAYED TRUANT

Mother & Baby September 2013

dining in the dark comes to singapore

YOUR FAVOURITE PREGNANCY, BABY & TODDLER MAG

M e na n g i ! Ba u ca r M a k a na n S e a S o na l S a l a d Ba r B e r n i l a i $ 2 , 6 0 0 !

EYE DON’T GET IT

www.xinmsn.com/motherandbaby

SEPTEMBER 2013 S$5.50 (incl GST)

10 Top tips for toilet training

TRUE STORY

“I’m Proof You Can Be Happy After Postnatal Depression”

! MUST READ

Get Gorgeous

Get A Grip!

Tame the control freak in you

Bite Ideas Tasty toddler snacks — found!

RETURN TO SLENDER SOLUTIONS SHOW-STOPPING STYLES TO TRY TERRIFIC TOGS FOR TRENDY TOTS

*Applicable for iPhone, Android and Windows 8 smartphones and tablets, or on the web using your browser.

For the interactive versions of STYLE: and STYLE:LIVING on the iPad, search for “MediaCorp” on the iTunes App Store.

To sample the digital experience of the iPad version, scan the QR code.

PULSE

FOOD — THE WAY TO EVERYONE'S HEART

WILLIN LOW The host of Asian Food Channel's A Party Affair and owner of Wild Rocket schools FHM on how to throw the ultimate dinner party. Words: Janine Lee Art direction: Dannii Choo Photography: Ealbert Ho

06 01/2014

F

or most of us, being a fussy eater would just mean fewer options and a dwindling social circle. For chef Willin Low, however, it is a trait that propelled him to culinary stardom. Having never spent time in the kitchen and being forced to cook for himself while studying in the UK, he discovered a passion and flair for the art. “My mother didn’t allow me to be in the kitchen; she was afraid I’d burn down the house or splatter oil everywhere.” says chef Low, who owns three restaurants and hosts A Party Affair (a series dedicated to entertaining at home). And the best part of this lawyer-turned-chef’s success story? He’s entirely self-taught. FHM catches Low between filming to find out everything we need to know about throwing a nice party — from presentation to recipes and everything in between. How is your cooking style different from other chefs? I’m not classically trained as a chef, so I approach things very differently. I’ll put things together that most trained chefs would never think of doing. If you were trained in a certain cuisine, you’d stick to it and rarely think outside of the box. But because I’m not (a disadvantage that became an advantage), I’d ask, “Why not?” For example, when I eat something in Europe, I’d think, “This would be really good if I added cinchalok or belachan to it.”

PULSE How do you deal with the lack of fresh natural produce here? Although everything is imported, we can get almost anything from east to west; whereas when I was cooking in New York or Tokyo, every now and then I’d run out of ingredients — for example, pandan leaves would be impossible to find. The good thing is my cuisine is modern Singaporean; I use a lot of regional local produce that is in ample supply. It’s also about adapting to available ingredients depending on your location. Is it possible to make something phenomenal with simple everyday ingredients? Definitely. Real talent in cooking lies in street-food cooking. If you go to a Michelin three-star restaurant, they buy the best caviar and lobster, so it’s very hard for it not to taste good, right? But at a hawker centre or street-food cart, they’re forced to sell you food at two or three dollars, so they buy the cheapest cuts and always have to make it tasty. That’s where real cooking lies. TV chefs always make cooking look easy, but it's a different story when we try the recipes at home. What's the secret? For most chefs, maybe the secret is TV magic. I’m not trained as a chef; whatever I do, anyone can do. In some of the cooking classes I conduct, the attendees have fancier equipment than me. I equipped my

kitchen like my mother’s, so whatever I do is reasonably simple. In A Party Affair, we teach people how to cook at home, covering really basic things that anyone can manage. A big part of cooking is also the prep work — if you have everything ready beforehand, the process becomes simpler. What are some foods you always have in your fridge? Different types of frozen berries, from cranberries to raspberries to blackberries — for breakfast or to make cocktails and smoothies; plus limes and lemons, and soybean milk — for nights where I get home late and don’t have time to cook or buy. What is an essential cooking tool every guy should own? A frying pan. I was going to say a knife but these days you can buy

"A big part of cooking is also the prep work — if you have everything ready beforehand, the process will be simpler."

pre-cut things. You can do any type of cooking with a frying pan. For entertaining at home, do you recommend cooking in advance and storing, or preparing a la minute? I always believe in mixing and matching, so if you’re going to make three dishes, two can be prepared in advance and you’ll just have to worry about one dish. Otherwise, you’re going to be so stressed that you’ll never throw a party again. You should also get your guests involved in the cooking

GET YOUR PARTY STARTED Want to throw a soiree but don't know where to begin? Chef Low shares his top tips for entertaining at home.

1

Be aware of who you're inviting. You don't want to invite people who might clash because of certain views. You also don't want to invite 10 accountants. I normally try to invite 10 people from different fields, with a common interest like golf or sushi. This ensures there'll always be different things to talk about. In case it doesn't get anywhere, they can always fall back on the shared interest.

2

Always have chilled champagne. Not everyone's going to arrive at the same time; there'll always be one or two guess who will arrive really early while you're still preparing the food. To avoid them having to hang around with nothing to do, give them a glass of champagne. Once people drink champagne, they start to relax.

3

Underfeed everyone by just a little bit. When they leave, they remember how awesome the food was and wish they had more. But, obviously, not so much that they suggest going for roti prata after.

STEAMED COD FISH WITH GREEN CHILLI SALSA

CHEF WILLIN'S RECIPES!

Ingredients 480g cod 100g green chilli 100g shallot 210ml Thai lime juice 40g fish sauce 10g coriander 60g sugar A pinch of salt Method 1. Heat steamer to 70 deg C. 2. Blend all the ingredients together (except for the fish). Set aside. 3. Season fish with a pinch of salt. 4. Steam fish for 6 to 8 minutes. 5. Serve fish with salsa.

DEEP-FRIED WANTON WITH CREAM CHEESE & SPINACH Ingredients 12 wanton skins 100g cream cheese 100g frozen spinach (thawed & water squeezed out) A pinch of pepper A pinch of salt Method 1. Grease a flat tray. 2. In a bowl, mix the cream cheese with the dried-out spinach, and add the salt and pepper. 3. Wet the edges of a wanton skin, put a teaspoon of cream cheese mixture in the middle. Fold the wanton, let out some air and seal the edges. 4. Place on the greased tray. 5. Deep fry till golden brown. 6. Flake with garnish — lettuce or parsley.

08 01/2014

PULSE process. Delegate, delegate, delegate; that’s what I do at my parties. And don’t be shy to accept when people offer to bring things over. Is there a hard-and-fast rule to making a dish look pretty? There are some guiding principals. Different colours always help so don’t be afraid to mix contrasting colours together. Texture and height help, too. If things look textured, it’s attractive and people will want to take a second look. How do you feel about people constantly snapping photos of their food these days? I’m obsessed with taking pictures myself, but I hadn’t gotten on board with social media until last year. So everyone always asked what I was taking photos for. But that’s how I remember my holidays — when I travel, I take photos of food. And since I have Instagram now, there’s somewhere for all my photos to go; they finally get to see the light of day. What are some of your greatest moments in your culinary career? When I appeared in the culinary book Coco: 10 World-leading Masters Choose 100 Contemporary Chefs in 2007. I was picked as one of the profiles and had to create a tasting menu, so it was like a snapshot in time. It was a great honour because I never trained as a chef, and to be in this book was unbelievable. Another was when Wild Rocket got featured in the New York Times — twice in separate articles. My friends over there were telling me restaurants in New York were dying to be featured. That was a tremendous honour. What can we expect from the show A Party Affair? I used to be a chef for hire before I opened a restaurant, and I used to hold parties at home. This show offers tips on how to do that, with beautiful, easy-to-make food. Anything to do with food or parties is just happy, and that’s what the show is about — doing happy things. A Party Affair is now showing every Wednesday, 9pm, on the Asian Food Channel (StarHub Ch435).

"That's how I remember my holidays — when I travel, I take photos of food."

WHEN 1 THINGS 2 GO WRONG

Burnt the main course IIf you happen to do that, just order in, or send someone to buy.

Blackout Light candles, it'll be cool. I was at an event where the lights went off. The host suggested we turn our phones on and we cooked under that light.

It's 8.30pm and the situation at your dinner party is tanking rapidly. Here are some nice saves from the expert.

3

Ran out of alcohol You should never run out of alcohol but if you somehow do that, then finish the meal and suggest adjourning elsewhere —

maybe a whisky bar to have some cigars.

4 5

Something has caught fire Put it out!

Guests have decided to argue over politics You should burn the main course to give them something else to talk about.

6

Zombie apocalypse Hide your luncheon meat, use the guests as bait and go get some kills. In a zombie apocalypse, it's a free-for-all!

10 01/2014

PULSE

I

f fad-diet salesmen and excitable headline writers are to be believed, pretty much everything you put in your mouth − from a simple slice of cheese to an innocent tin of beans − will make you fat, give you cancer or come to life, bite you on the nutsack and kick you in the shins. Add this to the wealth of “scientific” information flying around and making healthy food choices has become a stomach-churning minefield. Which is why FHM has pulled on its lab coat and set out to sort foodie fact from foodie fiction. Settle in as we answer the culinary questions that really matter.

DROPPED FOOD REMAINS GERM-FREE IF YOU PICK IT UP WITHIN FIVE SECONDS THE THEORY

THE FACTS

stick straight on it,” says English environmental-health officer Sarah Daniels. “If you drop a steak at home you could chance it, but if your dog brought muck into your kitchen, that could be on your steak. The pavement is even worse. It’s covered in fecal bacteria and nastiness.”

“The moment your food falls, bacteria, hair and other muck will

FOOD MYTH!

WORDS: STUART HOOD. PHOTOGRAPHY: MARCO VITTUR

Drunkenly dropped your takeaway on the fast-food outlet floor? Don’t panic — as long as you blow off the dust, pick off the hairs and give it a quick wipe within five seconds, you’re good to go.

CHEWING GUM STAYS IN YOUR SYSTEM FOR SEVEN YEARS THE THEORY

THE FACTS

Revolymer “easy to remove” chewing gum. “It just goes right through your system and is not digested in any way. The danger comes if you swallow 20 or 30 pieces a day. Do that and the doctor will need a drill to get it out.”

“This is completely bogus,” says Professor Terence Cosgrove, a chemistry lecturer who invented

FOOD MYTH!

This actually happened to someone at our brother’s mate’s cousin’s school, honest! Swallow some gum and it’ll remain in your gut until 2020.

CHOCOLATE BARS ARE GETTING CHEESE BEFORE BED SMALLER GIVES YOU WEIRD DREAMS THE THEORY

Either our hands are getting bigger or we’re royally screwed by confectionery conglomerates.

THE FACTS

THE THEORY That recurring nightmare where you’re drowning in a giant bowl of molten marshmallows? Must’ve been that trip-inducing Double Gloucester you snacked on.

THE FACTS The UK Dairy Council claims Stilton causes the most vivid dreams and Red Leicester

We’re being screwed. In 2012, the UK Office of National Statistics revealed that Dairy Milks had shrunk from 49g to 45g and a

01/2014

FOOD TRUTH!

prompts night-time nostalgia. But Dr Chris Idzikowski of the Edinburgh Sleep Centre says this is tosh, “There have been no worthwhile experiments into this and neuropharmacological explanations are too far-fetched for this to be true.” Cheese toasties before bedtime, anyone?

FOOD MYTH!

GENETICALLY MODIFIED FOOD WILL TURN YOU INTO A MUTANT 12

205g bag of Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles had dropped to 170g. “Shrinking products is an underhand way of inflating prices because pack sizes shrink but the prices don’t,” explains a spokesperson from UK consumerbody Which?.

THE THEORY Munch on those lab-produced noms and it’ll be a matter of weeks before you turn into that three-eyed fish off of The Simpsons.

THE FACTS “We have seen an increasing number of studies that indicate signs of ill health from the consumption of GM food,” says Dr Michael Antoniou, a molecular geneticist and GM expert.

“The most recent was completed by Professor Gilles-Eric Séralini, who completed a two-year feeding study in rats. He found signs of serious liver and kidney damage and a number of tumours. The next step should be to complete a similar study with more animals. Until this happens, consumers should be wary of GM foods.”

JURY'S OUT!

PULSE

THE SELLBY DATE CAN

BE IGNORED IF YOUR FOOD SMELLS OKAY THE THEORY Food labels are more just guidelines, really. Proper men use the sniff test.

THE FACTS “Smelling out-of-date food works for spoilage bacteria, but you cannot smell salmonella, so it could be all over your food and your nose would have no idea,” says environmental health officer Sarah Daniels. “I’d also recommend not eating food after the

FORTUNE COOKIES COME FROM CHINA THE THEORY A long, long time ago, in a Chinese kitchen far, far away — well, in China — someone came up with the idea of encasing a soothsaying scrap of paper inside a crispy post-dinner snack.

THE FACTS “Fortune cookies were originally Japanese senbei [rice crackers] sold in confectionery shops in San

Francisco’s Japan Town from the 1920s,” explains food writer and historian Rachel Laudon. “But when the Japanese living in the States were forcibly interned during the Second World War, they had to leave their senbei-making machines behind. Ta-dah! By the end of the war, fortune cookies were Chinese.”

FOOD MYTH!

‘consume within’ window. Most supermarket food is packaged in nitrogen-rich air, because this modified air doesn’t have any oxygen and bacteria needs oxygen to grow. As soon as we open a packet or carton, however, oxygen pours in and bacteria multiplies at will, making ‘consume within’ dates crucial.”

FOOD MYTH!

CELERY HAS NEGATIVE CALORIES THE THEORY The jaw action required to chomp down celery expends more calories than are contained within the rabbit food, so the more you eat, the thinner you get!

THE FACTS “No evidence backs this up,” says nutritionist Drew Price. “However, the number of calories we’re talking about — either gained or lost — is so tiny, it’s just not an issue.”

FOOD MYTH!

THE BACON A-BOMB A meat loaf just turned badass!

THE RECIPE Serves 6 Cooking time 90 min at 160 deg C Ingredients DJ BBQ signature rub 4 tbsp brown sugar 2 tbsp chilli powder 3 tbsp sea salt 2 tbsp cumin powder 2 tbsp ground coriander 2 tbsp cracked black pepper 1 tbsp red chilli flakes 1 tsp mustard powder 2 tbsp onion powder 2 tbsp garlic granules The Bomb 1.4kg pork mince 1kg streaky bacon 1 red chilli 4 peppers (different colours) 2 garlic cloves 8 button mushrooms 1 large onion 1 peeled and diced apple BBQ sauce

14 01/2014

01

Combine all the rub ingredients in one big bowl and then dice all the veg. “You want the veg small enough for the meat to break down,” recipe-creator DJ BBQ says. “This veg is the basis for a great omelette, so anything left over at the end, just cook up in the morning for your breakfast.” Chuck your pork mince into another bowl, then add the apple, a sprinkling of the rub and combine the lot using your fingers.

PULSE

02

Next up, lay a sheet of baking paper on a surface and dump the pork mixture on top. Pound the mix into a rectangle shape with your fists, aiming for a thickness of about half an inch. “It’s essentially like Play-Doh for adults, but even more delicious,” says DJ BBQ. Throw a few handfuls of your diced vegetable mix in with the rectangle of pork and drizzle the whole lot with a load of tasty BBQ sauce.

03

WORDS: FHM UK, PHOTOGRAPHY: SCOTT MCAULAY

“This part is pretty damn therapeutic, if weaving bacon is your thing,” DJ BBQ informs us. Lay six rashers of bacon vertically on another large sheet of baking paper. Alternate between over-under and under-over with the horizontal bacon until you’ve got a square lattice, then make another. Next, roll your meat into a loaf-of-bread shape and place it on top of the first weave. Then turn it over and lay on the second lattice. Sprinkle more rub on all sides and drizzle with BBQ sauce. Stick in the oven for 90 mins, then brush on more sauce. Return to the oven for another hour, then serve.

BLUE CHEESE FRIES Line your stomach with the greatest beer food. THE RECIPE Serves 5-6 Cooking time 20 mins Ingredients A load of potatoes Vegetable oil 150ml sour cream 1 tsp Dijon mustard 2 “pulverised” cloves of garlic 1 tsp red wine vinegar 2 tbsp mayonnaise 80g of blue cheese 1 tbsp lemon juice Salt Chopped chives Cayenne pepper to taste

16 01/2014

PULSE

01

Work out how hungry you and your mates are, and grab a stack of potatoes accordingly. Chop them into chips about 6mm thick. Set a deep fat fryer going at 180 deg C, or use a deep pan of veg oil, add the chips in batches and fry until they’re golden.

Maris Piper potatoes stay fluffy on the inside but get crunchy on the outside.

02

While they’re browning, put all the remaining ingredients, minus the chives and cayenne, in a big mixing bowl and stir it until it starts to smooth out. “Make sure you crumble your blue cheese first, else you’ll be mixing for days,” says DJ BBQ.

03 WORDS: FHM UK, PHOTOGRAPHY: SCOTT MCAULAY

Once your chips are done, toss them into a bowl with salt. If you don’t wanna get too messy, drop the blue cheese mix into a dipping bowl and scoop it out with the chips. Or, as DJ BBQ recommends, “Don’t be a sissy and just slather the lot over the top.” Sprinkle your chopped chives and then your cayenne over the chips to taste, crack open a cold beer and devour with your buds.

QUESADILLAS There are no rules when it comes to smacking a load between two tortillas.

THE RECIPE Serves 4 Cooking time 90 mins with a preheated oven at 185 deg C Ingredients Quesadillas 1 pumpkin or butternut squash One whole chorizo 200g feta cheese A bunch of coriander 8 corn tortillas Pico De Gallo Salsa 3 plum tomatoes 1 red onion More coriander 1 lime

01

Throw the whole butternut squash into the preheated oven and roast it for 80 mins. Once that’s done, slice it down the middle, spoon out the seeds and discard them. Leave the flesh for now.

DJ BBQ’s ultimate salsa, Pico De Gallo. Finely chop the tomatoes, onion and coriander, then add a squeeze of lime and salt to taste. Throw on top of the quesadilla and devour.

02

Rip the skin off your chorizo and dice it into 1cm chunks. Fry it until it’s browned. “It’ll release juices from planet awesome,” DJ BBQ says. Crumble the feta and coriander on top, then turn the heat down.

03

18 01/2014

Place one tortilla on a surface. The squash flesh should be spreadable, so smear a load on top with the back of a spoon. Throw a portion of the chorizo mix in, too. Close up with a second tortilla and put it into a new, clean pan for a minute on each side. “They’re a pain to flip, so find a smaller pan lid, place it on top, flip the whole frying pan over, then slide it back in,” DJ BBQ says. When the feta’s melted, cut each one into eight and you’re ready to serve.

CANDIED PORK

PULSE

WITH PINEAPPLE SALSA The greatest and easiest thing you'll ever do with a piece of pig.

THE RECIPE Serves 2 Cooking time 40 mins on a medium-heat grill plate

01

Smash and chop your peeled garlic cloves and throw them into a bowl with the sugar, oil and soy sauce. Mix it up until the brown sugar dissolves.

Ingredients Candied Pork 4 cloves of garlic 4 tbsp brown sugar 2 tbsp olive oil ½ bottle of soy sauce 1 pork fillet

03

Make the salsa while you’re waiting. Dice the red onion into small pieces and repeat with the skinned pineapple. “Fresh pineapple is best, but if you wanna go tinned, make sure all the juice is drained,” says DJ BBQ. Squeeze the lime out, then add the chopped jalapeños and salt to taste.

WORDS: FHM UK, PHOTOGRAPHY: SCOTT MCAULAY

Pineapple Salsa 1 small red onion 1 pineapple ½ lime, juiced 2-3 green jalapeños Salt

02

Place the pork fillet into the liquid mix and let it marinate in the fridge for three hours. “And that’s it for the pork,” DJ BBQ says. “Dead easy, huh?” Later, slap it on to your grill plate, cover and cook for 40 mins.

HUEVOS RANCHEROS Beat the morning after the night before with this booze-busting breakfast.

THE RECIPE Serves 2-4 Cooking time 25 mins Ingredients A handful of potatoes, diced Olive oil 1 red onion, diced 2 peppers, red and yellow, diced 3 tomatoes, deseeded 1 chorizo sausage, diced 2 eggs Salt and pepper A bunch of coriander 4 flour tortillas Sour cream 3 avocados 1 deseeded red chilli 1 lime

20 01/2014

PULSE

01

Throw your potatoes into a pan of salted boiling water for 8 mins, then fry them in oil until they start to turn brown, and remove. “You gotta do these on their own, because the water from the pepper and onion will stop them browning up,” says DJ BBQ.

02

Add three-quarters of the red onion, the peppers and two of the tomatoes to the pan. Cook for 5 mins, then remove and set aside with your potatoes. Add the chorizo to the pan and fry it until it browns and the juices run out. “Now put everything back in, and look at that mosh pit of breakfast awesomeness,” says our American breakfast pro.

Make a killer guacamole by mixing the avocados, one tomato, the chilli and the leftover onion, then squeeze the lime over the top.

03

WORDS: FHM UK, PHOTOGRAPHY: SCOTT MCAULAY

Your mouth should be watering on an oceanic scale by now. Make a well in the middle of your mix and crack the eggs into it. Fry them until the white is cooked, then season with salt and pepper and add chopped coriander. “Serve with tortillas, sour cream and fresh guacamole and kick that hangover in the butt,” DJ BBQ advises.

PIMP YOUR

01

02

03

04

05

06

07

08

CHEESE ON TOAST Classy twists on an old-school snack.

01 CROQUE MONSIEUR Grated Gruyère, three slices of smoked ham, salt and pepper. Tastes Strong and stinky, like a French weightlifter.

22 01/2014

02 YEAH BUT NAAN Large naan bread, three slices paneer cheese, coriander. Tastes Like being fired out of a cannon into the Taj Mahal.

03 WELSH RAREBIT Whole grain bread, mature Cheddar, Welsh ale, mustard powder, salad, Worcester sauce. Tastes Fel rhyw mewn ysgubor!

04 THE MAD MAN Applewood smoked Cheddar, sherry vinegar. Tastes Pleasantly smoky, like the charred remains of a Bata store with looters pouring out.

05 THE WEIGHT WATCHER Whole grain bread, reducedfat Cheddar, spinach. Tastes The opposite of Nigella Lawson’s lovely fat behind.

06 EGG SURPRISE Thick-cut white with a hole cut out, one egg, sliced Cheddar, salt and pepper. Tastes Like pickled horse dick! No, it tastes like egg. Obviously.

07 PATCHWORK COUNTIES White bread, red Leicester, Cheddar, Wensleydale. Tastes Nothing like the City of Leicester.

08 THE POSHO Toasted brioche, goat’s cheese, caramelised onion chutney, swan feathers. (optional) Tastes Half cake, half toast, all joy.

PULSE 10

09

5 HEALTHY CHEESES

11

COTTAGE It’s full of casein protein, which is the kind of protein that helps build muscle. It’s also full of calcium — which will make you strong — and low in fat, which is why it tastes so weird.

12

SWISS Again, it’s full of protein. And it’s low in sodium, which is good because if you eat too much sodium, you can get hypertension (massively high blood pressure).

PHOTOGRAPHY: RIA OSBORNE. PHOTO: TPG IMAGE/CLICK PHOTOS. RECIPES FROM PATRICIA MICHELSON, FOUNDER OF WWW.LAFROMAGERIE.CO.UK

13

09 POOR MAN'S PIZZA White bread, mozzarella, ketchup, salami, onions, peppers Tastes Best when you’re drunk. So drunk that you try and chat up a night bus.

14

10 TEXAS CHEESE ON TOAST MASSACRE Thick-sliced white, Cheddar slices with Mexican spices, Tabasco, guacamole Tastes Cheap and spicy. Like your mum. Joking!

11 THE PURITAN White bread, mild Cheddar cheese, worcestershire sauce. Tastes Like the crumbs down the side of The Muttons’ sofa.

CAMEMBERT It’s got 30 per cent less fat than hard cheese, because the way it’s ripened gives it high water content. Any with “AOC” on the box will mean it’s been made by people who know what they’re doing.

12 THE RIVER COTTAGE Caerphilly cheese, Dijon mustard, two slices ham, egg, chopped parsley. Tastes Good after one beer…lifechanging after six.

13 THE PLOUGHMANS Cheese, pickle, white bread, apple, celery. Tastes Like being a peasant in the Middle Ages, but in a good way.

14 THE LACTOSEINTOLERANT A slice of toast Tastes Like being suddenly, traumatically weaned off your mother’s milk.

GOAT'S It has, on average, 40 per cent fewer calories in it than cheese made with cow’s milk. Go goat to stay thin. PARMESAN Forty grammes of this stuff provides more than half of the calcium you’re supposed to have every day of your life, so get grating if you like having strong teeth to chew your pasta with.

SECRETS OF THE BBQ KING Words: Chris Sayer Photography: Dan Mathews

24 01/2014

REVEALED!

PULSE

Why is BBQing so awesome? One reason: It's where a man belongs. It's us, outside, starting a fire, scorching hunks of meat, providing for our people while drinking beer. It's our place. It's where we can get our primal, feral caveman on. But there's more to this style of cooking than just skewering sausages and flipping it over a hot wire mesh. Our American steak-searing pro, DJ BBQ, breaks the Griller's Code and leaks the meaty intel that will take your cookout to the next level.

ONE PAIR OF TONGS IS NOT ENOUGH HANDLE WITH CARE NEVER EVER BLAME THE WEATHER “BBQ is about the three-six-five, man. F**k rain. Rain is liquid sunshine in my world. My dad used to cook over a grill with an umbrella in the pouring rain. That’s a real man.”

DON'T MAKE A SAUCE ERROR Slathering on your BBQ sauce before your meat has even touched the grill? You’re all wrong, friend. “It’s full of sugar and that’ll burn up when the flames lick it. Sauce up your meat about 20 minutes before it’s cooked.”

26 01/2014

Make sure you’ve got a couple of pairs at hand, one for raw meat and one for cooked, or your guests will be sending you a laundry bill for loads of pooped pants. “Tongs need to feel easy to use. You don’t wanna be working hard at a BBQ. Once you find the perfect pair, hold on to them. I’ve lost good tongs and shed a tear.”

PULSE

SECRETS OF BBQ KING!

THIS SECRET BEEF DISH IS UNBELIEVABLY SIMPLE POP'S EASY STEAK “You know what part of the cow absolutely kills it? The flank (also known as skirt), and my dad’s recipe cannot be beaten. I still can’t believe how ridiculously easy it is. He takes the cheapest bottle of Italian dressing he can find, and dumps the whole bottle in a ziplock freezer bag with the beef overnight. Up next, nothing. You’re done. The next day, throw it on a scorching BBQ for 12 mins a side. Try it, and tell me it’s not the greatest thing ever. All the pros I know use this same recipe, but like hell they’d admit it’s this simple.”

SALAD

SAUCE “Get a bunch of rosemary, sage and thyme and lash it to the end of a wooden spoon. Melt a pot of butter and garlic, and just paint your meat with the liquid.”

“For a basic, simple man salad, hack up a head of lettuce, some fat tomatoes and cucumbers, and drizzle over a basic vinaigrette. Then, to impress a lady guest, slice up a few strawberries”

YOUR PERFECT SALSA IS READY IN 90 SECONDS

Pico De Gallo “This is one of my favourite flavours in the world, and it’s impossible to get wrong. All you gotta do is chop up plum tomatoes, finely chop red onions and fresh coriander, and add a dash of lime and some salt. That’s it!”

Pimp up your salsa with avocado, mango or jalapenos.

APRICOT IS A KILLER BURGER TOPPING (YEP, WE SAID APRICOT) “I got inspired to try apricots on top of my burger by Billy Lunn from [indie band] The Subways. He told me he added them to his bolognaise, so I thought I’d chuck ’em on my bad-boy burgers. And guess what? It was really good! I used fresh ones, but I reckon grilling slices would be even better.”

ALWAYS MAKE YOUR STEAK SCREAM “Your BBQ racks have to be scorching when you slap on your steak. You wanna hear that meat squeal in pain when it hits, to sear all that flavour in. Four minutes on each side, and you’re done.”

YOU SHOULD PLAY WITH YOUR PIG

There's no limit to how much incredibleness you can get out of your curly-tailed friend. Here are two recipes to impress your bros…

Pork chops: “They’re so easy, man! Oil ’em up with some rosemary, salt and pepper and give them five minutes on each side.” Pork loin: “This is my favourite cut of pig, and the Spanish do it best. Throw a loin into a freezer bag with red wine, garlic, oil and rosemary. Sit it in the fridge for a morning and slap it on.”

STAR WARS HOLDS THE KEY TO PERFECT COOKING “You can cook meat over the coals, searing in the flavour with maximum heat, or put the coals on one side, the meat on the other, and let the heat circulate. But try my own method. Put the charcoal on the left and the right of your BBQ, leaving a big gully up the middle, like the trench Luke flies up in Star Wars. Sear your meat over the sides, and then let it cook out in the centre. Easy.”

DON'T SLAVE OVER YOUR SIDES

You've mastered the meat, but what should you eat with it? Here are sides that won't bust your chops: Grilling beef? Cook baked potatoes: “Chuck a load of baking potatoes in a bowl and drizzle oil and rock salt over them, then cook them on the BBQ.” BBQing pork? Fry green beans: “Blanch your green beans and throw them into a frying pan with red onions, pepper, salt and nutmeg until they’re soft. The nutmeg makes them moreish.” Gnawing on chicken? Make some chips: “Chicken and chips is a heaven-sent combo. Thinly chop some potatoes and fry. Easy.” Chowing on fish? Bowl up some rice: “Want stacks of energy and to not feel too sluggish? Fish with rice and peas is a Caribbean classic, and those dudes know how to grill.”

NOBODY SHOULD TOUCH YOUR PLAYLIST Your beers are cold, your grill is hot and your meat is smelling incredible. Don't let the tunes destroy the perfect equation with these fail-proof party sounds.

RED MORNING LIGHT BY KINGS OF LEON: “I call it my ‘What up Earth’ track. It’s like the band saying, ‘What’s up? Let’s do this!’”

28 01/2014

GIMME SHELTER BY THE ROLLING STONES: “Because every BBQ needs a bit of rhythm and blues.”

GOT TO GIVE IT UP BY MARVIN GAYE: “It just gets people feeling sexy.”

RAMBLE ON BY LED ZEPPELIN: “It’s a song about Middle Earth, dude! It doesn’t get more primal than that.”

STILL D.R.E BY DR DRE: “Anything from early ’90s Dre or Snoop will bring you that touch of California lifestyle.”

FLY LIKE AN EAGLE BY STEVE MILLER BAND: “Oh my Lord, I almost forgot about Steve. Grill to this and feel the hippy vibe.”

PULSE SECRETS OF BBQ KING!

TREAT FISH LIKE ROYALTY

TURBO TACOS “Don’t be afraid to go wild with tacos, man! Oysters are crazy in tacos, so grill a load up for a minute and cut flour tortillas into quarters. Serve with fresh salad, tomato and mayonnaise. It’s insanity.”

WHOLE SEA BREAM “Fish is king, and you don’t f**k with the king. The textures and flavours are already there, so let them do the hard work. Just like mackerel and sea bass, there’s no need to fillet these guys. Put them straight on the heat for three to four minutes and baste with garlic, butter and salt. Serve in small tortillas for great fish tacos.”

SCALLOPS “These will blow your guests’ minds into space. Open them up and add salt, pepper, butter and garlic, but keep them in their shell. Place them on the coals and serve once they’re white. They will get you laid.”

BACK FOR MORE There's always something new at these popular food hangouts. RAMEN CHAMPION With new ramen eateries Butaou and Miyamoto housed alongside known names like Tonkotsu Itto and Bishamon Zero in the popular noodle collective, the third Ramen Champion offers a slurping good time. Whether you’re out to have a good meal or to prepare your stomach for a crazy night out, this joint does the trick with al-dente ramen noodles, flavourful broths, and melt-in-your-mouth cha shu. Order: Enjoy the signature ramen from each stall because how else can you choose from the crème de la crop? From straight, thin noodles to curly, fat ones, and sukiyaki meat to tender braised pork belly, they’ve got it all covered with scrummy broth.

Opens daily, 11.30am to 10.30pm, #01-22 Great World City, 1 Kim Seng Promenade, Tel: 6235-1295, www.ramenchampion.com.sg

LP + TETSU There’s no need for “thrift shopping” at this FrenchJapanese restaurant helmed by Michelin-starred chef Lauren Peugeot. With the addition of an “affordable” menu, which changes every month, you get your money’s worth when everyday ingredients are transformed into lavish meals. From lunchtime to 7.30pm daily, enjoy a bento box at $28, or a two- and three-course French meal for $35 and $45 respectively. Order: It’s never too early to plan; usher in Chinese New Year with the FrenchJapanese interpretations of yusheng, elevated with lavish ingredients such as truffles, caviar and tuna sashimi. Perfect if you’re bored with shredded radish and carrots.

Opens Mon to Sun, 11.30am to 2.30pm, 6pm to 10.30pm, #0318 Tanglin Mall, 163 Tanglin Road, Tel: 6836-3112, www.lptetsu.com

30 01/2014

HEDONISM THE QUEEN AND MANGOSTEEN The marriage of good food and drinks only births one thing — a very good time. But who cares about the extra kilos when you can feast like royalty at this British gourmet bar? Grab your best buds and kick back with its extensive alcohol range and a new menu crafted in celebration of its fifth anniversary. Order: Indulge in Asian-influenced starters such as the oven-baked Thai curry chicken pie; cut through its buttery pastry lid to reveal chunks of spicy, tangy chicken soaked in warm curry. If you prefer something more refreshing, you can’t go wrong with its rendition of gravlax (raw spiced salmon) with marinated seaweed.

Opens Sun to Thu, noon to midnight; Fri and Sat, noon to 1am, #01-106 VivoCity, 1 Harbourfront Walk, Tel: 6376-9380, www.thequeenandmangosteen.com

JAMIE’S ITALIAN There’s not a lot to say about this much-lauded eatery that hasn’t already been said, so here’s what you need to know. It’s been open for barely half a year and it has already updated the menu with 15 new dishes that are all great. The food actually lives up to the hype and, most importantly, it is now allowing a limited number of reservations daily, giving you a chance to beat that infamous snaking queue. Basically, Jamie’s Italian provides simple, hearty food, cooked with integrity that’ll leave you feeling the warm glow of satisfaction. If you’re one of the seven people left in Singapore who has yet to try this restaurant, what are you waiting for? Order: We’re hard pressed to pick a favourite among the new dishes but the grilled pork chop is a front-runner for being superbly tender and flavourful, while the Italian farm sausage looks and tastes magnificent.

WORDS: JANINE LEE & GLADYS GOH

Opens Sun to Thu, noon to 10pm; Fri to Sat, noon to 11pm. #01-165 VivoCity, 1 HarbourFront Walk, Tel: 6733-5500, www.jamieoliver.com/italian/ singapore/home

PAUL Morning rushes are no longer dreadful with the French boulangerie’s new CBD outlet. The century-old brand is dedicated to providing fussfree service at its grab-and-go counter, with artisanal breads, sandwiches and pastries fresh off the oven. There is also a restaurant inside that serves an all-day menu — for those who’d much rather take their meals one slow bite at a time. Order: Like a ham-and-cheese sandwich but better, the Croque Madame is stacked with turkey ham, emmental cheese and cream on Paul’s renowned pain de mie (soft bread). Topped with a fried egg, this classic sandwich is perfect for hearty eaters on the go.

Opens Mon to Fri, 7am to 8pm; Sat, 7am to 3pm, #01-01 Ocean Financial Centre, 10 Collyer Quay, Tel: 6634-7686, www.paul-singapore.com

HEDONISM

FRESH CUTS

Three new places that our stomachs can always do with. LOWER EAST SIDE TAQUERIA Riding the Mexican food wave, this new restaurant-bar in the east does your usual taco-and-burrito fare, but with a wicked twist. Letting guests customise their orders with spice levels ranging from “pleasantly tingly” to “my mouth is a raging inferno”, hotsauce lovers will have a field day here. And if you’re up for a challenge, finishing any dish at the highest spice level within 30 minutes gives you your meal on-the-house. Order: The octopus-and-squid burrito with green apples is one of the more unusual offerings and provides a brilliant texture profile. If you’re after something more traditional, try the pork belly taco with sweet corn salsa. Remember to wash it all down with the homemade horchata (sweet Mexican beverage made with rice) to cool the fire in your belly.

Opens Mon to Fri, noon to 11pm; Sat to Sun, 10am to 11pm. 19 East Coast Road, Tel: 6348-1302, www.lowereastsidesg.com

WINGS WORLD There are only two types of people in this world — people who love chicken wings, and liars. Jokes aside, there’s a new speciality chickenwing joint in town and we’re wondering why no one thought of it sooner. Combining the two glorious concepts of ultimate comfort food and all-day happy hour, this American-style casual eatery should be the place you visit on your next guy’s night out. Order: The Buffalo wings that come in four levels of spiciness are a house special, but the dry-seasoned wings with flavours like Rajin Cajun and Italian herb are equally tasty. If unable to decide, just close your eyes and point at the menu; whatever comes out of the kitchen will be good, trust us.

Whenever there’s ice-cold beer, you know we’re in. Liquid gold doesn’t get any more accessible than with Asia’s first ever self-tap beer station where six different brews are chilled almost to freezing point. Similar to tapping your ez-link card in the bus, purchase a stored-value card from the cashier and tap to pay as you pull your very own pint of beer. With beers charged by the millilitre and accompanied by handsome portions of meaty mains, from mixed grill platters to 4kg beef shanks, we’re calling this 160-seater diner our new pad. Order: Savour the juicy Berkshire pork chop. Almost like western char siew, this grilled chop is glazed with oyster and

32 01/2014

black-bean chilli sauce, and comes with a creamy double-baked potato and watercress. Pair it with homemade condiments (beetroot chutney, chilli mustard, onion jam) and be on your way to food heaven.

Opens Mon to Thu, 11.30am to 11pm; Fri and Sat, 11.30am to midnight; Sun, 11am to 11pm, #01161/162 VivoCity, 1 Harbourfront Walk, Tel: 6376 9262, www.the-chop-house.com

Opens Sun to Thu, noon to 10pm; Fri to Sat, noon to 11pm. 214 East Coast Road, Tel: 6247-7477, www.wingsworld.com.sg

WORDS: JANINE LEE & GLADYS GOH

THE CHOP HOUSE

TRAVEL

A IS FOR ANDORRA

It used to be, literally, on a road less travelled. Fellow sightseers, your next new destination -- the tiny but mighty country of Andorra.

Mention Andorra and, well, nothing comes to mind. We don’t blame you for your ignorance. It is, after all, one of the smallest nations in Europe (land area 468sq km, even smaller than our city-state; population 85,000) and — get this — no airport. Despite its diminutive size, the mountainous microstate, sandwiched between entry points France and Spain, is home to a very robust tourism industry — it serves about 10 million visitors (mainly Europeans) annually, almost comparable to Singapore’s 14-million headcount. Hotel Plaza Andorra.

What is it about this yet-to-be-discovered-byAsia country that keeps its tourism numbers in the black? It’s the only tax-free destination in Europe. It’s a ski paradise with over 300km of marked slopes. It’s one of the only countries to offer free via ferrata (protected climbing routes) for trekking and climbing. It offers great food and wine experiences, with influences from the Spanish and French. It’s the safest country in Europe with “virtually” no crime rate. So, the next time you’re contemplating a Europe getaway, think Andorra. It’ll be cool to say, “I’ve been to Andorra, have you?”

WORDS: DENNIS YIN. PHOTOS: CHEAP TICKETS.SG

• • • • •

CheapTickets.sg is the exclusive distributor for Andorra packages in Singapore. Visit www.cheaptickets.sg or call 6372-4127 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm) for more info.