My Favorite Comedy Mind Reading Act: By Gene Gordon

My Favorite Comedy Mind Reading Act by Gene Gordon

THE BASIC IDEA of this routine appeared in Ibidem, the magazine published by the ebullient P. Howard Lyons, contributed by the effervescent Norman Houghton, one of Canada’s clever minds in magic. I have taken the liberty of changing it a bit to suit my style (if that’s what you would call it). It requires no apparatus, so you are always ready for that unexpected (but hoped for) request to do something. I thank Ibidem for permission to include it. “I am sure that all of you are aware of the fact that universities all over the world are devoting time to demonstrations and tests on the little known powers of the mind. I hope to give you something to think about in the next few minutes. I am about to conduct some strange experiments in the field of parapsychology—to explore the dark and unknown regions of the mind. To get in the right mood, may we have a few moments of silence. Pause for effect, then say: “Thank you! Before proceeding further, I would like to tell you briefly how I acquired the peculiar power I am about to demonstrate. My favorite uncle—Uncle Ben—was a missionary in China for many years, converting not only people, but as a sideline he also converted rice. I am sure some of you have heard of Uncle Ben’s Converted Rice. You may have heard more about that than about the people he saved by his preaching. “Anyway, when Uncle Ben came back to this country to retire on the proceeds of his honest toil, he brought with him a number of curios and an ancient manuscript with yellowed pages inscribed with Chinese characters. In the course of time, this manuscript came into my possession; and on the chance that it might contain forbidden secrets of the Orient, I got a Chinese dictionary and started to translate it myself. Before long, I realized that I had a prize indeed. Here was a book that contained the inner secrets of mind reading. “It took me five years to complete the translation, and another five years to master the technique that the manuscript taught. It also gave me this gray hair. Can you believe a 35-year-old man with hair this gray? … And it was then—too late—that I made a shock-

ing discovery: Chinese is written backwards, from right to left, so I had learned the art of mind reading in reverse. In other words, I can tell anyone what he or she is NOT thinking of. “I’ll show you what I mean. I’ll try it with the assistance of five persons up here near the front. A few minutes ago, I promised to give you something to think about. I’ll do that right now.” Point to the five people one at a time. “First person, you sir—I’d like you to think of a number, and it can be from one to a thousand. You are next—I want you to think of any color. No. 3—think of any person, living or dead. No. 4—think of any geographical location, anywhere in the world. And the last person, you think of any historical event, and hold it firmly in your mind. Have you each chosen a subject? Then banish all other thoughts from your Hen Fetsch and Gene, up to our old mind and concentrate.” tricks. “The rabbit is stuffed, so I’m not hurting his ears. Allow spectators to think for a moment, then resume I’m just trying to pick up Channel 12.” talking. “I get five very distinct impressions. The first person is thinking of a number. It is going to be difficult to do reverse mind reading, but I think I will succeed in being able to tell you absolutely what you are not thinking of. You are not thinking of the square root of minus 13. Right? And you, the second person—the color you are not thinking of is shocking pink. Was I right again? Two correctly wrong is a good average. I hope I am lucky with the rest of you, too. “You are No. 3, and you are thinking of a person. I can positively tell you that you are not thinking of Menelik the Second, Emperor of Abyssinia from 1889 to 1913. Am I correct? Excellent! “Next one—you are thinking of a geographical location. I’ve got you! You are not thinking of the Nullarbor Desert in Australia. Don’t ever think of going there. If you crossed it on a train, you would ride for 328 miles without one curve, without crossing a river … in fact, without seeing one … single … tree.” Pronounce this slowly for dramatic effect. “And now for you, No. 5. You were thinking of an event in hisYoung Gene Gordon: tory. This is the most difficult one. But wait—I have it! You are not “I was always ready, thinking of the Battle of Borodino which occurred in 1812 some 70 but never called.”

miles from Moscow. It allowed Napoleon and his army to enter Moscow without any hindrance. Anyone who has read the novel War and Peace will know all about it. “Well, my friends, do any of these things have the slightest relation to what you were thinking of? No? Of course NOT! Perhaps for the first time in your life, you have witnessed mind reading in reverse. I was able to create an image in my mind of what these people were not thinking of. “Perhaps you are not convinced that I can do what the manuscript taught me. Some of you may have a sneaking suspicion that these five people are all members of my company, or confederates that I picked up out on the street and told what to think. “So I’ll give you one last test. Everyone here has met a person at one time or other who made a great impression on him. Just concentrate on the most fascinating person you have ever seen, next to yourself, of course. Is anybody thinking of the name Gene Gordon? You see what I mean? I could tell every one of you the exact person you were not thinking of!”

AKA Gene Gordon, 1980 from Magical Legacy *** David Ginn notes: I like the part about the “people out on the street,” and I have changed it to “telling them what NOT to think.” Then I give the final test, having everyone concentrate on “the most fascinating person you’ve ever met, someone with strong moral character, someone who has influenced your life … think of THAT person … and I can absolutely guarantee … that you are NOT thinking of … DAVID GINN! David and Lynne Ginn with Gene Gordon, I rest my case!” And I take a bow. holding the famous mind reading dog, Ridiculous Rupert, at NYCAN 1980 in Toronto Yes, it’s tongue-in-cheek humor, but it packs small and plays big. Or as Fetaque Sanders said, “Patter packs better than props.” So give this a try—learn it, change it to make it you, then do it for fun!