Theapproach - Creating An Attractive Identity

Creating An Attractive Identity

September 20, 2005

Contents I

theApproach: An Introduction By Dan Rose

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1 Company Overview

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2 What We Can Do For You

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3 Our 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 II

Programs theApproach StandardTM Official Workshop . . theApproach StreetGameTM Official Workshop theApproach BootcampTM Intensive Workshop theApproach Phone Coaching . . . . . . . . . theApproach Personal Coaching . . . . . . . . Ebooks, Audio Programs and DVDs . . . . . .

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Creating An Attractive Identity

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4 Getting Started 4.1 Five Things For Success In Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Becoming More Attractive 5.1 What Is Atractive? . . . . . . . . . . 5.2 How Do People Know If Something Is 5.3 Beliefs And Filters . . . . . . . . . . 5.4 Some Practical Advice . . . . . . . .

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. . . . . . . Attractive? . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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9 9 14 15 16 19 21

6 Body Language

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7 Attitudes

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8 Commanding Presence

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9 Vocal Tonality

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10 Image and Stereotypes

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11 The Next Step

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12 Testimonials

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Part I

theApproach: An Introduction By Dan Rose 1

Company Overview

theApproach is Vincent DiCarlo and Sebastian Dimitri Drake. Talk about masters. I’ve actually had the opportunity to spend some time learning from these guys in person. The things I have seen are unreal. Their methods of teaching are phenomenal, and their system is polished to a very high level of sophistication. They’ve spent years perfecting this discipline as both an art and science, and they’ve been teaching guys professionally for quite some time now. I will try and pass on some of their basic introductory topics to you right now. This book is not only meant to be an introduction to their concepts and techniques, but also as a prepatory guide for prospective students, so that they can maximize the learnings and improvements made on an actual live program. Vincent and Sebastian have written hundreds of articles on the topic of dating and seduction, and have given informal lectures in various cities around the world. Vincent is known in particular for systematizing and breaking down ’Natural Game’ and being able to transfer those qualities possessed by guys who are naturally good with women to his students. He was also the first to break down and outline the exact process of how to develop spontaneity from scratch. He has just finished working out various intention maps which lay out all of the key moments that shape and define the future development of a given sexual relationship, and is currently teaching these exclusively at live theApproach programs. Sebastian is known for his highly social and playful approach to the

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game and empowering his students with spectactular attitudes and beliefs. He is currently interested in something he calls The Array of Possibilities, and is in the process of designing methods for tapping into ANY woman’s given ideal fantasy. Keep an eye out for his upcoming full length ebook! Sebastian has turned out an extremely high percentage of successful students. Part of my job is to keep in touch with ex-students and track their progress. Extremely satisfied and grateful, most are currently getting laid anywhere from 100% - 400% more than they were pre-workshop. Both Vincent and Sebastian are literal walking encyclopedias of everything related to pick-up, seduction and dating, and together they’ve got plenty of mindsets, tips and techniques for every possible situation. And they produce results. Seriously. They have turned guys who were once shy virgins into complete playboys ’living the lifestyle’. And they’ve also helped men find the women of their dreams. It’s all possible. The real question however, is ’How do you want to use this material?’

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What We Can Do For You

We change men’s lives for the better in a dramatic way. When I first joined theApproach team in late 2004, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew they had an amazing track record with their students, and to be honest I was a bit skeptical. This was an area of my life that I was working on very dilligently, and I really felt I had reached the limit of how much progress was possible. Boy, was I wrong. I had been going out specifically to meet women a few nights a week. And I was doing alright. Nothing too spectacular. I was getting plenty of phone numbers, and even had a few short flings. At the time, I thought I was doing pretty good. I mean, most of my friends had trou4

ble even talking to women they didn’t know. And then I saw Vincent and Sebastian. They made the impossible look easy. Effortless. Carefree. Just watching them that first day not only shattered my reality of what it truly means to be a ’pick-up artist’, but I began to subconsciously absorb their attitudes and beliefs. And I got better. MUCH better. And it was only the beginning. They started correcting my mistakes. They gave me better ways of doing things. They pointed out subtle behaviors of mine that were holding me back. And everything changed. Now I am part of the team, and it feels great helping others. I’ve never had so much fun doing anything else. It’s genuinely a blast. We witness tremendous change in our students.

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Our Programs theApproach StandardTM Official Workshop

theApproach’s World-Class Small Group Workshops represent the highest level of integrity when it comes to live pick-up, seduction and dating instruction. The StandardTM has proven itself time and time again with the remarkable success of every client who completes the training. theApproach live program consists of small-group classroom style seminars and in-field workshops. The seminars are designed to be highly personalized and interactive. Therefore both workshop and seminar space is limited, which allows you the greatest opportunity to get personalized attention and make major and paradigm-shifting changes and realizations. Seminars are taught exclusively by theApproach founders Vincent DiCarlo and Sebastian Drake. Spend an upwards of 30-35 hours with two 5

of the top recognized pickup gurus in the world. Their teaching methods are just as refined as their skills with women, and they continue to develop and systematize them further, night after night. theApproach programs zero in and focus on each student to determine what your inherent personality traits are and develop them in the most attractive way possible. In addition, you will receive highly constructive feedback in order to address those things that are currently holding you back from your desired success. Not only will we provide you with the neccessary tools for the tricky situations and challenges you will encounter, but we will improve your attitude and mindsets using interactive exercises which streamline your thought patterns, destroy negative thinking and eliminate self-imposed limitations. 3.2

theApproach StreetGameTM Official Workshop

Do you see beautiful women in the daytime, walking down the street, in malls, or even bookstores? Do you see them in train stations, coffee shops or anywhere for that matter? Would you like to have your pick of these same women for a romantic encounter? Did you know that these women are wanting, wishing, and hoping for the exact same thing? Only in the movies? Think again. Introducing: theApproach StreetGameTM Official Workshop Learn what it takes to enter the world of women’s fantasy. Realize that 90% of the women you see are not only open to having a sameday intimate connection... they are eagerly anticipating it! theApproach StreetGameTM Workshops are exclusive workshops aimed at the advanced level students who want to take their daytime pick-up skills to top level. Workshop groups are limited to a 3:1 student to instructor ratio. Workshops take place almost entirely in the field with intensive real-

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time coaching and training. Malls, Bookstores, Grocery Stores, Busy Streets,Train Stations are all fair game! 3.3

theApproach BootcampTM Intensive Workshop

If you theApproach Standard and StreetGame Workshops sound great, but youd like to do even MORE to improve your game, check out our Bootcamp program. This is for the guys who are really serious about taking their game to the next level youll be working one-on-one with an instructor at all times, the ultimate in personalized attention. The bootcamp takes place almost entirely in-field, you youll get a massive amount of experience in one weekend. Youll get incredibly detailed feedback on your interactions, and youll see each group of women which you engage becoming progressively more attracted to you than the last. You can customize the bootcamp entirely to what you want, all the field work will take place in the venues YOU prefer. You can work on any area of your game for as long as you feel you need to. Youll become more confident and achieve more success with women that weekend, which will in turn make you even more confident, which will lead to more success in the future. 3.4

theApproach Phone Coaching

Even if you can’t make it to one of our personalized workshops, help is still available via theApproach Phone Coaching. Keep up on all the latest concepts and ideas or even get tailored advice to a specific situation. Speak directly with either Vincent or Sebastian and get advice right before your important date. Phone coaching is completely personal, confidential and secure, and we’ll never share your information with anyone. Workshop students can even follow up their programs to stay sharp, learn all the newest techniques and even get specific exercises to stay on the path to mastery. Phone coaching is completely personalized to the individual student, and we can track your progress over the long term. • Get Coaching to Attract that Special Girl 7

• Learn All the Latest Concepts and Techniques • Follow Up On Your Workshop Program to Stay Sharp • Take your Existing Game to the Next Level • Get Personalized Coaching Even If You Can’t Make A Workshop • Talk Directly with Vincent and Sebastian • Get Specific Exercises and Assignments Custom Tailored 3.5

theApproach Personal Coaching

Once offered as an additional option to our workshop clients, personal coaching is now available to the general public. We understand our clients are busy people with a lot going on in their lives. Spend a day with Vincent or Sebastian any time your schedule will allow. Brush up on your conversational skills, get critiqued on your body language, or even get a fashion makeover. theApproach personal coaching is held to the same standard as our other workshop programs and has turned out some highly successful clients. theApproach Personal Coaching is currently offered in Boston or New York City, and is a great way to keep your skills sharp after taking a full program. 3.6

Ebooks, Audio Programs and DVDs

Expect a complete line of Ebooks, Audio Programs and DVD’s from theApproach. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter list and stay current with not only our newest tips and techniques but also our important announcments!

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Part II

Creating An Attractive Identity 4

Getting Started

When it comes down to it, all of your success in attracting women is dependent on having both positive beliefs about yourself and proper execution of techniques. Techniques are used as a way of emulating a person who truly believes he is attractive, with the goal of eventually becoming a person who truly believes he is attractive. 4.1

Five Things For Success In Life

If you truly believe you are attractive, you will do the following three things, which are necessary for success in dating or any other area of your life. 1) Like yourself. 2) Be confident. 3) Have fun.

Those are the first three. The criticals. The essentials. Those are things we aim to develop through our behaviors and actions. With those three, and just those three, you can do anything. However, while those first three are critical for just about all parts of a good life, the next two are also very useful. 4) Stay open-minded. 5) Learn.

That’s it. If you can manage those five things, you’ll be on your way. If, after a solid base in those five things, you go out and start actively socializing, you’ll be able to achieve an incredible social and sex life. Now, let me break them down a little, and throw in a some advanced

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discussion. 1) Like yourself: The root cause of everything good that can ever happen. You need to like yourself as a person. You need to accept every part of yourself, even the parts you don’t like (which doesn’t mean don’t try to change for the better!) For all you analytical folk: There is not a single advantage to disliking yourself. Consider that. For all you emotional folk: Your whole life will be better and you will feel stronger and more alive if you like yourself. What do I mean by ’like yourself?’ It’s so simple, but so difficult. Here’s some random points I’m just going to throw out. It’s not allencompassing, but it’s an idea. Alright, I’m an American. Here in the U.S., we’re given a double standard from birth. Basics of self-esteem are taught throughout school and by parents, but at the same time, people are often put down. Parents, teachers, and authorities often turn a blind eye to bullying, reasoning it off as ’kid stuff.’ The media constantly draws and redraws a fake norm that people should strive to achieve, and are ostracized if they deviate from it. In countries based around consumption, the idea of non-satiation rules supreme, and people are told to be never satisfied. You’ll be happier with a faster car, a better razor, the most fashionable suit, the new soda that’s got a great taste while being very low in carbs... People are told they can’t be happy without stuff. They’re constantly taught to seek validation, and insecurities are played upon on a daily basis. There’s a happy feel-good message of ’Everyone is a special and unique snowflake’ that’s said in elementary school, which is promptly mocked and satirized. In short, people are given a billion reasons not to like themselves, and 10

told not to decide for themselves. At the same time, most people think they like themselves when asked, and often can’t realize that they, in fact, don’t. I used to say things like, ’Damn, I screwed up again. I hate myself.’ in my head. I didn’t even realize I was doing it for so long, but when I caught on, it became sickening. I’d say it so much without even recognizing it. I really did believe it. My breakthrough came when I realized there were many, many good things about myself. I genuinely came to like myself. Now, how to do that? There are many ways, some of which are included in this guide. Now you’re aware of some of what’s going on, one way is to realize that there is no reason not to like yourself... you’re the only you you’ve got. Strive for improvement, but like and accept yourself. It precedes and precludes almost all good things in life, including good relationships with other people and good sex with beautiful women. It’s critical. 2) Be confident: The world is yours for the taking. Confidence. Arguably the single most important interpersonal skill. If you act confidently, everything from business to family to relationships to (yes) pickup will go more smoothly. What is confidence for me? It’s knowing that I have lots of ability and infinite potential. I know I’ve got skills that I’ve honed to a precise degree and I can use them decisively. But more importantly, I know that anything I don’t know or can’t do... I could. With practice, with teaching. I think people trying to explain confidence is where a lot of the rhetoric out there came from. Most of it’s right, but it’s convoluted. I can’t tell you exactly what confidence will be to you, but you’ll know it. For me, it’s about fighting my fears when they come up, and defeating them. It’s about using my abilities as well as I can, but after I’m trying my best, I move decisively. I know I’ll do the best job possible, so why 11

doubt myself? I act quickly, decisively after I’ve picked the best course. This is because I know I have ability and infinite potential. There is no failure: There is only success and learning. 3) Have fun: If you’re not having fun doing something... This is key to true success in anything. To truly be good at attracting and seducing women, you’ve got to have fun doing the whole process. If you want to do work in nightclubs, you’ve got to have fun going out to nightclubs. If you want to do bars, you’ve got to enjoy bars. You’ve got to have fun socializing. From the first approach to full sexual intimacy, you’ve got enjoy what you’re doing and spending time with women and people. If you go out with a friend whos acting as your wingman, you’ve got to like him and like spending time with him. It doesn’t matter how or what’s fun about what you’re doing. It could be that you like the music of where you’re at, or you like self-improvement, or that you like going out with your friends that came with you, or you like karaoke at the place you’re at... it doesn’t matter. Just have fun. Your results will be infinitely better if you’re having fun, and no matter what happens, you’ll have enjoyed yourself. So, those are my ’primary three.’ I think that those three mindsets are pretty much necessary for a truly happy life. Anyone can improve in those three areas, and improvement in any of those three areas will translate to improvements EVERYWHERE else in your life. So remember: Like yourself, be confident, and have fun. 4) Stay open-minded: Consider and reconsider everything. This is as much a life skill as a pickup skill. Open-mindedness is considering and reconsidering anything and everything. Aside from the fact that your time is valuable, you should always 12

be willing to consider a new point of view or rethink an old one. Even fundamental beliefs of yours may change from time to time, and even if you can’t accept some things at this time, don’t be afraid to rethink them later. Part of open-mindedness, for me, is tolerance. I’m not going to go on a feel-good, politically correct trip right now, because I’ve got some unresolved views on tolerance myself. On the whole, though, I like to live and a promote a live-and-let-live philosophy. Be kind whenever possible, to anyone, regardless of who they are and what they do. Note that I said ’whenever possible’, which doesn’t mean you should allow people to walk all over you. Kindness is not subservience or supplication, so don’t get them confused. Be willing to rethink what kindness really is from time to time: It’s possible that some things the media raises you to think are good and kind acts, like buying a woman dinner, is actually unrelated to true kindness and tolerance. 5) Learn: Learn about anything and everything. Why not? When I say learn, there’s two things I’m driving at. I like learning about anything and everything, and I think it’s invaluable to me. I know about all sorts of little interesting things, and my life is better for it. I can relate to many, many different people on different levels, and can talk to them about it. I can think in different ways about different things, and come up with interesting conclusions. Learn things in general, because it’s useful to you, and will benefit you in pickup and in other aspects of your life. The students who see the most dramatic changes in their lives as a result of our programs are the ones who came into the programs with the greatest commitment to learn everything they could, and to solidify that knowledge by practicing it afterwards. Secondly, learn as you do. Strive to be better and improve. When you do not achieve what you set out to achieve, learn from it. You can repair mistakes you’ve been making with practice and guidance. Try to 13

think of creative solutions, and ask for help when appropriate. Seek out sources that can aid you. After taking one of our programs, one of the best ways to ground your newfound pickup and dating skills in your reality is to hang out with other men who are good with women. Whether these guys are also former students of ours, or guys who are naturally good at attracting women, they will continue to aid you and teach you as you continue to improve your skills. Those are my five first things. At any time, if you go back and pick one of those and work actively on improving it, you will improve your life and your ability to pick up and date women. These alone can improve your life, and base proficiency are required in all five of these skills to truly succeed in this endeavor... and to be happy in all of your life. Anyone can grasp these concepts. Anyone can apply them successfully. Work on them and your life will improve, as will results in all skill-based endeavors.

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Becoming More Attractive

An attractive person does a lot of things: Some consciously, many unconsciously. Attractiveness is influenced by a great deal of things, and that can cause a lot of confusion for some people on ’How to be attractive’. In fact, some people believe that they could never be attractive: Which might be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. And then you hear things like, ’Realize you’re already attractive and you’ll be attractive’ - Which can be downright confusing if you don’t know what that means. Here’s what I want to do in this section: • Define what attractiveness is. • Identify how people initially evaluate another’s attractiveness on a snap judgement. • Explain how beliefs and thought processes affect the snap evaluation. • Give some practical examples and advice on how to become more attractive. 14

5.1

What Is Atractive?

Merriam-Webster gives two definitions: 1. Having or relating to the power to attract. 2. Arousing interest or pleasure. That doesn’t quite do it. Let’s look at one of those definitions of attract: To draw by appeal to natural or excited interest, emotion, or aesthetic sense. Now we’re getting somewhere. My general definition of attractive is something that is desirable on some level. For purposes of this book, I’m going to deal with the kind of attraction that’s most relevant to dating and socializing: When I refer to something or someone as being attractive from this point on, I’m referring to things that are attractive in a way that leads to sex and relationships. That is, a lot of things can be attractive on a lot of different levels, but I’m going to focus on what can cause sexual or romantic attraction. Now, the first interesting thing I’ll note from this: There are things that are not sexually or romantically attractive at all to women, that won’t help in building a good, healthy relationship (or having enjoyable casual encounters, if that’s what you’re after) ... yet these characteristics ARE attractive to women with a very specific preogative (such as getting married, settling down, raising a family). By that, I mean, if a woman is ready to settle down, she might look for a man who is very gentle and nurturing, a man that is less willing to take large risks for potentially large rewards, a man who will stick around and be a father figure for her children. These qualities of stability aren’t universally attractive, but can be very attractive on a level to a woman with an agenda of getting married and settling it down. One of my girlfriends said it best: ’If I was going to get married right now, I’d marry my last ex-boyfriend. He still wants to marry me.’ Now, by all accounts and measures, her boyfriend isn’t a very attractive guy. They’ve been broken up quite a while, and he’s yet to move on. My girlfriend lives on the East Coast, her ex-boyfriend in California, and he recently offered to fly into Boston and get a hotel just to meet up 15

with her: And that’s after she’d told him she wouldn’t have sex with him ever again! He’s not particularly attractive, objectively, but his loyalty (bordering on obsession with her) and his low-risk lifestyle would make him a pretty good husband, and my gal’s nothing if not pragmatic. She could marry many more attractive men than him, but few men that she’d feel so secure in his job and faithfulness. That little aside there explains something major: There are many qualities that are not universally attractive, but can be attractive in certain situations. Another great example would be a female ’gold-digger’: Something very attractive to her would be mass amounts of wealth. While wealth is rarely unattractive, a lot of behavior that’d turn off many girls would make a gold digger downright giddy. That DOES NOT mean that throwing money around and spending it on these girls is building a solid relationship, or even the best way to get her in bed. Money is attractive by itself to most people; it does not necessarily make the holder of the wealth more attractive except to people with certain agendas. The working definition of attractive for the rest of the post is something that is desirable on some level. Unless otherwise noted, anything I write about as being an attractive characteristic will be a trait that is desirable on an interpersonal level, that’d be useful for establishing solid relationships and/or getting quality sex. An attractive person is just a person with a lot of those traits. 5.2

How Do People Know If Something Is Attractive?

Of course, it all starts with the senses. For physical beauty, the person needs to be seen or touched. Hearing also matters, as do scent and taste. When a woman sees a man, she almost always makes a quick snap judgement about him. If no other information about the guy is available, it’s usually on what she sees with her eyes, and sometimes on what she hears (if she hears him before or simultaneous with seeing him). At

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that point, very little if any conscious thought has been made, and yet she’s made an immediate impression. This is daunting to a lot of guys. Many, many men do not want to hear this. The fact is, yes, you can change a person’s initial perceptions of you with time, in fact, within a few more seconds. But the matter stands: People quickly size you up, and it’s a lot easier to go from (at least) a neutral initial impression to a positive one than it is to go from a negative initial impression to a positive one. What’s that mean? Something we’ve all known for quite a while: Improve your physical appearance, within reason, as much as you can. Seriously, check this out: You don’t need to completely overhaul yourself in one day. Any small, positive adjustments are good. Any one of: Doing your hair, cutting your fingernails, washing your face, taking a shower, styling your hair (even really quickly with your hands), shaving or trimming / styling a beard or mustache, putting on clean clothes, putting on clothes that fit your figure well, applying something like Chapstick or lip balm, adjusting your clothing and playing around to find a cool style (including tucking or untucking shirt tails, buttoning or unbuttoning cuffs, figuring out how many buttons on the top and bottom of a button-down shirt to unbutton, turning your collar up or down as appropriate, etc), washing / cleaning your hands, cleaning your shoes (even if they’re sneakers or sandals), and... well, lots of other things. You don’t need to do 30 things at once: One little change makes a little difference, and if you’re spending a lot of time reading articles on dating, try taking a 10 minute break to do even one small thing to up your appearance - it could give you a significant edge. And a quick note on dress: Just coordinating the clothes you already own can make you look 10,000 times more well-dressed. Whatever you do, don’t play into a victim mentality: If you find yourself thinking, ’I’m too unattractive to...’, then get off the self-pity kick and make one small change. There’s probably at least a dozen little things you could do easily in the next week to become more physically attractive. 17

Physical appearance largely dominates the initial first impression, but within moments, you’re in conversation with her. Before any of your words even register, the tone of your voice has huge impact on what you’re saying. This is why socially learned people advocate having a strong tonality: Either naturally, by being and feeling comfortable, or by consciously focusing on it and adjusting it to its best level. Either method can work, and applied perfectly, either method will work perfectly. I’ll address what a good tonality is momentarily, when I talk about how the information you’re giving off is processed (that’s when we’ll talk about body language, too, if you’ve been waiting). Smell is something that’s easy to cover, not because it isn’t huge, but because there’s not too much conscious effort that we should or could put into it. As long as you don’t smell bad, you’re fine. It can be a plus to smell ’good’, with either a good cologne or aftershave, or pleasant smelling soap and shampoo. In this department, don’t smell bad, maybe make a little effort to smell good, and then forget about it. Taste: Eventually, you’ll be kissing the girl of your dreams, I hope. You don’t want to taste poorly, but again, it’s nothing you should sweat. Between the kind of ethnic foods that I like and regular salads, I eat a lot of onions, so I’m constantly battling that. Not a problem: A little fruit at the end of a meal goes a long way towards fixing your breath, and breathmints are a good quick fix. And of course, brush your teeth and take care in that department, and don’t sweat this. I’m not going to talk about taste and smell for the rest of this article: Make sure you’re not bad in those departments, make a little effort to be good, then get it off your mind. Of the five senses, I’ve laid out the base idea behind four of them, and I’ve notably not mentioned touch much so far. Be assured that touch is a huge part of the equation, but the modern, western world has done a strange thing with touching: They’ve made it often more of a big deal than it really is. Thus, many touches, regardless of how nonchalant, can provoke conscious thought on her part. Whether you want to provoke conscious thought with your touch or not in a given situa18

tion is something worth a little thought, and we’ll get to it momentarily. What we’ve established so far: • Attractive is something that’s desirable on some level to someone. • Things can be attractive in different ways, but in a scene like this one, we’re largely dealing with being attractive in a way that’s going to help our romantic and sex livses. • The very first, knee-jerk reactions about whether a person is attractive or not come from our senses. After that, the information from our senses is filtered. This is where things get complicated. 5.3

Beliefs And Filters

If I got together a bunch of guys and asked them, ’What makes a woman attracted to a man?’ I’d get lots of different answers. I might hear, ’Making her feel good is attractive.’ I might hear: ’People want what they can’t have, and that’s attractive.’ I might hear: ’An attractive guy doesn’t need her.’ I might hear: ’Acting like a man is attractive.’ And so on. None of those are wrong, or right, by and of themselves. Those are catchphrases that have some truth to them, but aren’t the whole picture. And this is where the confusion comes in: If a cool guy spends a lot of time socializing with women, and has some relationships, he’ll have a lot of insights. They’ll be pretty complicated, and based on his unique experiences. So if he wants to share them, he needs to break them down in a way that they can be understood. The guys he’s sharing with weren’t there for every girl he’s interacted with, and don’t have his frame of reference, so he needs to ’sum it up’ for them. So he says something like: ’Be alpha. Be a man.’ Not bad advice. Not bad at all. But he’s saying that from the perspective he’s got, from the places he’s been, from acting like he’s acted like with women all his life. If the man giving advice is a 35-year-old businessman in Italy, his conception of ’being alpha’ and ’being a man’ 19

is very, very different from a 17-year-old Canadian high school kid’s idea if ’being alpha’ and ’being a man’. Some things are going to be the same, but the guys that the 17 year old Canadian is going to look up to is going to be very different from the Italian guy. So let’s get to the heart of it: In every place I’ve been to, almost everyone raised in that area had some deep, underlying core beliefs that were similar. Like, as crazy as it sounds in a diverse nation, it’s largely true. In the 1950’s in America, in many areas it was completely assumed as a fundamental truth that women stayed home and raised children, and men worked. That’s just how it was. Telling a woman that being a ’working mother’ was an option for her would be as alien as telling a Manhattan woman today that she needs to get married and start having children by 20. Everything you perceive is filtered through your beliefs. It goes like this: Sensory Input =⇒ Belief Filters =⇒ Conscious Thought You see something, or hear it, or smell it, you filter it through your beliefs, THEN you can consciously think about it. Can you see how it’d be difficult to change your beliefs? To get to an idea, you wind up filtering what you’re sensing through your beliefs. So unless you come into something with an open mind, or your beliefs are wired in a very good way as to allow you to make constant adjustments to them, it can be very hard to change them......until you’re aware of the pattern, which you now are. To illustrate the example, let’s look beyond dating and sex: I, myself, deeply hold the belief that I should be free to share my opinions and logically debate them with whomever would like to hear and debate with me, and that that is never wrong. I’m repulsed when I hear about governments censoring their citizens. If someone were to tell me that that’s the way the whole world should be run, it’s very, very, very unlikely I could ever come to that belief: Because to even think about that idea, for it to even become conscious thought, it has to go through my beliefs: And I, literally, feel physically repulsed at that idea. 20

Another example would be telling a devout religious person that God does not exist. It’s quite possible that they could never come to that belief, because the idea couldn’t even make it past their beliefs to be thought about. What does this mean? You need to recognize any negative beliefs you may have about yourself, and at least isolate yourself from them long enough to consider the ideas. Many times I’ll tell a student of mine that he’s attractive, but the idea can’t make it through his beliefs without me making him recognize that his beliefs need changing, far before I logically convince him of the (relatively) simple fact the he’s attractive. Don’t let your beliefs stand in your own way. They’re ingrained in you, largely by your upbringing and experiences, but they’re a lot more flexible than you might imagine, which is a good thing. The belief in what’s attractive is interesting. If a woman (or man, too) has a belief about what’s attractive, they’ll often parse over little details if they see that piece of the equation. 5.4

Some Practical Advice

Here’s an example: Guys that have large biceps and triceps move their arms, when they walk, a bit differently than guys with smaller upper arms. I’ve observed the pattern and even felt it myself when I was lifting weights. The difference is very small, but a well-muscled guy’s arms seem ’pushed out’ more than normal - not just in terms of muscle mass, but just the way guys with larger arms move. I have no idea why this is. I’m not a biologist, nor an exercise scientist, and aside from basic knowledge, I can’t really tell you how anatomy works. But one thing I CAN tell you is that if you adjust your walk ever-so-slightly, then you’re walking like a guy who has ripped muscles. After you consciously adjust your walk for a short while, it’ll become natural and you’ll need no more conscious thought in that department. The arms thing is just a very, very small piece of an overall attractive

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presence. If you walk, stand, sit, wait, smile, and move like an attractive guy, on a casual glance, you’ll look more attractive. If you only ’turn your walk on’ when you’re out looking to meet women, it might not stick over a long course. Even still, it gives you plenty of time to screen the girl if she’s compatible, and if she is, you’ll have had plenty of time to attract her via more conscious processes that it won’t matter any more. It’s interesting, really, that so much of the game is based around getting five minutes of a woman’s attention so that you can show her who you really are. But the fact stands: If you emulate a good behavior and that gets you in with one woman, that’s great. If you synthesize a good behavior and make it who you are, you’ll be in with lots of women. The emphasis on being cool, calm, and comfortable: Being relaxed and knowing you’re attractive will make you have the body language of someone who is relaxed and attractive. This is a good thing. Consciously manipulating your body language and movements slightly, for a while, can be a good thing while you get the hang of it. I, myself, have written a couple articles you might check out on having a good walk. But more than anything, the belief that you’re attractive will smooth things down and make you more cool. People’s filters react based on what they’ve seen already. If every attractive guy a woman’s ever known has walked and talked a certain way, an okay-looking guy walking and talking that way will appear attractive to her. This is true for tonality, body language, and style. While there isn’t ONE correct way to do any of these, there are ways that are attractive. If you watch attractive guys, they’ll have similarities between them. People who feel they’re of high value carry themselves with their shoulders broad and their head up, almost universally. Something I’ve noticed: If an average-looking girl wears an attractive girl’s clothes, and carries herself like an attractive girl, she’ll be attractive. And it’s cyclical, too: She’ll start getting more attention, and the 22

attention will be more positive, so she’ll feel more attractive. And since she’ll feel more attractive, she’ll carry herself well. The same is true of men. It’s a cool thing I get to see when I teach: Often prior to taking a program, a guy will have gone through a lot of frustration. Then something just clicks on program and they start to really feel it. They worked hard, and they get that first positive spark, and then they REALLY believe it, finally, and start truly acting attractive. Then their success REALLY takes OFF! The beliefs a guy carries with him translates into how he acts. Any woman he meets will assess him based on her beliefs. So, what should they guy do? Should he try to act the way she’d find attractive? Or should he just BE attractive and KNOW he’s attractive? I find the second way much easier. Emulation is okay. Learning to be attractive, if you will. Faking can’t really work, though: If you believe you’re faking, if you don’t believe you are attractive, you won’t be. This is true regardless of what the first thing you like to say to a girl is. Regardless of what you want to say, you should know, deep down, that you’re attractive. That knowledge alone will make you act like an attractive person, regardless of what the societal definition of attractive is. Filters: We all have instincts as to what’s attractive and not. Health is universally attractive on an instinctual level. But someone’s filters can override that: Let’s say a woman from an upper-class family sees a man of a race other than her own. This could be any race of man and woman. Even if the guy is physically fit with shows all other signs of health and strength, she might let her societal filters override it. Racist beliefs can be used as filters to filter guys out. (Thankfully, in the Western world, this is largely being done away with: Though racism is still around plenty, most women at least exercise their free23

dom to try dating outside their race a few times in their lives.) That’s a simple example of a negative filter, but thankfully, most filters aren’t as hard-line as the race one. Instead, most filters can be used to your advantage. I remember, I once had a friend who rowed. You know, like, a boat with oars and such? I’m not sure exactly how the sport works, but it was interesting to look at him: He was very toned and in shape, but didn’t have large muscles the way a bodybuilder would. He looked very toned, say, at the beach, but he’d look rather skinny in a baggy sweatshirt. He shared an interesting observation with me. He was wearing a white T-shirt one day, and he pointed something out to me: He showed me the sleeve on his T-shirt, and said, ’Always try to get T-shirts that the sleeves are tight around your biceps. I’ve got large T-shirts with small sleeves and I look ripped in them, and I’ve got small shirts with big sleeves that make my arms look tiny.’ It was funny... because he was right. The sleeves on your white cotton t-shirt can make the difference between you looking like you have biceps or not. That little thing can appeal to a mostly unconscious filter. Arms Bulging On Sleeves = Muscles = Healthy = Attractive It’s why even though you look similar on most days, and even though styles of clothing can look very similar, a very small cut of cloth can make you look more attractive. If you need to prove this, have a girl you know try on a few different cuts of the ’classic little black skirt’ at a department store. One cut of it is going to make her look elegant, another is going to make her look hot, and many, many, many cuts are going to make her look not so good. I have no idea why women enjoy shopping so much, with as difficult as it must be for them. Anyway, dress is a really simple thing to help you stand out and be represented as physically fit, and thus attractive. A little effort into your clothes can make you much more attractive. But more important 24

t han clothes are attitudes, and the beliefs they come from. Confidence is attractive. Now, I’m going to make a differentiation here: There’s confidence as a belief, and, There’s confidence in actions. Confidence as a belief is confidence in yourself and yourself and your abilities. It’s knowing your value is high and you’re awesome. It manifests itself in actions. Have you ever been cliff-diving? It’s where you jump off a cliff of some height into very deep water. It’s very fun and a little dangerous. The first time I did it, I had no confidence in the action. I muttered a quick prayer and just jumped off. A few more dives jumps later and I was totally confident, and I wasn’t sweating it at all. Confidence in yourself, the belief, will translate into confidence in your actions. Had I been completely sure that I was invincible, I’d have been completely confident jumping off that cliff (literally). But I wasn’t quite at that point in my life. Right now, I’m so confident about where I’m going and where I’ve been in my life that I don’t even really fear death (at least in the abstract form, it might change depending on the situation). I’m so confident in myself (belief) that I rarely get afraid of anything. This makes me appear confident in my actions. I stand strong, speak clearly, and command attention. Confidence in yourself, on a belief level, can’t be seen by itself: But it translates into your actions. This ties into the bodylanguage piece: By moving like someone with confident bodylanguage, even if you’re just emulating it, you’ll appear to have internal confidence (the belief). The action itself is a slightly exaggerated walk, that’s fluid and cool. This is a confident action, and it reflects your internal confidence. Even if you don’t have internal confidence, a woman sees a man walking like he’s confident, and she thinks he IS confident.

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Thus, he becomes attractive to her. Simply by walking attractive, you can start to create a cycle where you get more respect, so you feel more attractive. It’s the same for any attractive action: You can pinpoint what the action is and do it, that’s good. But to really become good at the game, you need to take it to the next level and find the BELIEF that that action comes from, and make it one of YOUR beliefs. As for what your beliefs should be... that’s up for you to decide. The first step is figuring out two things: Who you want to be, and, What you want to do. Me, I want to be someone who is knowledgeable about many things, always be getting better in everything I do, and be a good person by my standards. What I want to do is help people, and in helping people, help myself. I want to live a life that’s comfortable without being excessive, and I want to form relationships with people where we can enrich each other’s lives. I want my relationships with women to be with women who are everything a man can ask for, and I want a woman for me to be loyal to me. Just reading my list, can you see what beliefs I should start to develop? I want to develop open-mindedness for my knowledge, perseverance for getting better, and I need to cultivate a strong, intelligent set of morals I can live by. I need to believe I’m attractive, worth knowing, able to speak with anyone, able to bring other people up, and so on. These little things will be seen when a person meets me. They’ll see the way I smile, walk, talk, shrug, eat, drink, and so on. The best thing you can do to help yourself reach a goal is find a suitable belief. BUT, reworking your beliefs can take a while, and it’s good to take action right away. In the meantime, as you grasp and REALLY REALLY believe your beliefs, you can work on emulating the behaviors someone with that belief would do. 26

This article is about becoming more attractive. But as an example, let’s say you want to be more sincere: What’s a quick thing many sincere people do? Listen. So you could focus on your listening, and that’d make you a bit more sincere. Likewise, many sincere people make eye contact, so you could try making eye contact more. As such, you’d feel more sincere, and then a cycle has begun. Modelling your behavior after the behaviors of people you want to be like can be helpful. That doesn’t mean try to pretend like you’re them: Instead, start with one behavior they do, and watch as it sparks a cycle. If you walk like an attractive guy, you’ll get more respect from men and more attention from women. As such, you’ll feel more attractive... and what’ll you do? I’m going to bet you’ll smile like you own whatever place you’re in. And in doing so, guess what? You just did another behavior that attractive people do, naturally, because you felt attractive. And suddenly, you’re walking like a cool guy and you’re smiling like the guy that owns the place. Then you get more respect and more attention, and the cycle continues. You’re well on your way to becoming attractive.

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Body Language

The main charactersistics you want your body language to have are: 1. Relaxed and Slow. 2. Big and Open. No weird jerky movements. No hesitation. Put your intentions out in the open for all to see. If you are relaxed and confident you will naturally take on certain nuances of body language. You will: 27

• Lean back. Leaning back shows that you are relaxed and comfortable with yourself and with the girl and her group. It is an invitation for her to follow you into your comfortable reality. Leaning back is not incongruent with direct game because it is not a sign of disinterest, only of relaxation. When you are seated, lean back in your chair. Dont slouch, just lean back slightly. The same with when youre standing against something, just lean back slightly onto it. • Stand up straight. Bad posture is a sign of low self-esteem. Good posture is a sign of confidence and is attractive to women. You can improve your looks tremendously just by improving your posture. • Dont touch too early, or too late. Some guys turn women off by touching them before the woman is comfortable with their touch. Many more guys turn women off by not touching them at all, and appearing asexual. The proper time to touch a woman is largely determined by your frame, if you do it with the confident expectation that she will enjoy the touch, then she will. Of course there are also factors specific to the girl, but mainly it is your frame. There are a few technical specifics to touching a woman. You want to make your touch slow and confident: No tentativeness. Ideally, a touch should be spontaneous and you should not think about it, but a touch that you have to think about is better than no touching at all. At first, touch a woman in safe places, on her back, her arm, or her hand. Of course, eventually you want to escalate to non-safe places, but do this only after she is receptive to kino on safe places. While you are learning, err on the side of touching a woman too much rather than too little. You will have to set aside your ego to do this, because at first your touches will often be rejected. This is part of the learning process learn from the experience, and eventually women will crave your touch. • Make steady, warm eye contact. You want to avoid hard eye contact, or staring. Similarly, you want to avoid darting eyes and looking around the room, or looking at the floor it signals that you are insecure. Look at her steadily are warmly.

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• Be completely relaxed, with no uptight or fidgety movements. Like leaning back, this shows that you are relaxed and comfortable.

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Attitudes

Your attitude should be that of an alpha male. First of all, since you believe you are an attractive male, you should not see your approaching women as something you should be sneaky and ashamed about. This is ridiculous. You are enriching the lives of every woman you approach, and you should act accordingly. Second of all, you should not care what other people think when they see you approaching. Too many guys think, ’Bbut what if other people see me talk to her?’ Who cares? Most of these people you are not ever going to see again, so why do you care what they think about you? And even if they are people who you do see again, you shouldnt be controlled by what they think. An alpha male does what he wants, not what others think he should do. Dont be concerned about ’Following social rules.’ You are an alpha male you set the social rules. All the others will want to be like you, so will conform to your rules, not the other way around. You should assume that you own the world, and that every single person in the world likes you and wants to see you succeed. Assume that you will be successful in everything you do. And most importantly for dating and seduction, assume that every girl who you talk to is attracted to you. This should be the attitude you strive towards. It cant just be a insincere little affirmation you repeat three times before you talk to a woman you really have to believe it. If you really believe a woman is attracted to you, one hundred percent, than she will be. This attitude should be your end goal in your journey of self-improvement. Attitudes take time to develop, but they are literally the key to everything with women. Our main focus in our programs is establishing these attitudes in our clients, so they can attract women regardless of what techniques they use. 29

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Commanding Presence

What is a commanding presence? First of all, commanding presence has nothing to do with gimmicks, tactics, or techniques at all. Commanding Presence is the ability to make people listen to and obey you because you project dominance and confidence. Commanding presence is extremely important in pickup and dating. So often, guys who know sophisticated techniques will not have success with women because they dont have commanding presence women instantly write them off as losers, without even listening to what they have to say. They dont project dominance, they are unsure of whether or not people will listen to them and attach importance to what they say. People can pick up on this instantly, and are repelled by it. Many guys have problems opening girls on cold approaches - especially girls who are in difficult logistical situations, such as talking on a cell phone, dancing in a loud club, or even just walking in the other direction on the street. This is because they lack commanding presence. They are not powerful enough to draw the woman away from whatever activity she was already engaged in. In order for a woman to stop and talk to you, you need to be more commanding than the activity which she is engaged in. For a woman shopping, your presence must be more commanding of her attention than shopping. For a woman in a loud club, you must command her attention more than the music, flashing lights, and other guys. For a woman on a cell phone, you must command her attention more than the person who she is talking to. You will notice as you improve your commanding presence that you can open women in situations which previously you thought were impossible. As you become more and more confident and dominant, you will command the attention and of women with increasing ease, to the point where you do not even consider the possibility that a normal, friendly woman would not give you her attention. Because you are so sure that you can command a womans attention, your presence will in

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turn become more and more commanding because of this. Here are some things you can do to improve your commanding presence: • Improve your tonality. Are delivering your opener to stop her in a weak, timid voice? Or, are you saying it slowly, loudly and confidently? • Improve your body language. Do you stand in a hunched over, with bad posture, and look down towards to floor? If so, relax, lean back, and look people straight in the eye. Make warm, friendly eye contact, take up space, and all the other things recommended in the body language section of this guide. • Improve your image. Dont dress like someone who doesnt pay attention to their looks. This conveys that you think you are not attractive, and that you dont think its worth spending time making yourself look the best that they can. Dont dress in a generic way, but also, you want to avoid overcompensating and dressing like a clown. Find cool, tasteful clothes which give you a tight image and show that you treat yourself well. • Most important: Improve your beliefs. When you attempt to stop a woman and get her in a conversation, do you confidently believe that she will talk to you? If you do, then she will sense the confidence and authority in your voice, and she will stop. If not, then she will sense that you really dont expect her to stop, and will get a weird vibe from you. Thus, she wont stop. Theres many things you can do to improve your beliefs, including improving your body language, tonality, image, and by repeated successful experiences in social situations.. You can also improve your beliefs directly through various exercise to reframe your experiences positively, which are taught in our workshops and bootcamps.

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Vocal Tonality

Another very important factor which will make a man more attractive is his vocal tonality. If your tonality is not good, even the smoothest, most genuine, opening lines are not going to work for you. If your tonality it is great, however, you can make anything seductive just by virtue of you saying it. 31

First, you need to project your voice loudly enough to be heard clearly. This is especially important in the nighttime, where youre competing with loud music. You want to strike a balance between being loud enough to be clearly heard, and not being overly loud. A well-projected voice lets everyone around you know you think what you have to say is important, but a too quiet voice is easily ignored. Similarly, a too loud voice is seen as overcompensation. Most guys, however, err on the side of being too quiet. Project your voice from your diaphragm, loudly and powerfully. Once you have gotten into the habit or projecting your voice well, you now want to work on the speed of your speech. Again, there is an optimum speed to be most seductive, but most guys talk too fast. In order to make your voice more attractive, slow down the pace of your voice. At first it will seem ridiculous, like you are talking in slow motion. With time, however, you will become habituated to the new, relaxed pace of your voice. While your old, fast-talking voice conveyed that you were hurried and uncomfortable, women will be drawn in and entranced by your new, confident and relaxed pace of speech. You should also calibrate the pace of your speech to the situation. In a high-energy, party atmosphere you want to talk slightly faster. In an intimate moment before a kiss, you want to talk especially slowly. Another important aspect of your voice is its pitch. A high voice is viewed by women as weak and feminine. In the daytime, you want to make your voice deep and resonant. Think of the tone of a hypnotists voice. He draws you in with his slow rhythm and mesmerizing deep voice. This is what you should be aiming for in quiet situations. In loud club situations, your tone should be slightly higher than in the daytime. This is because if you talk overly deeply in a club, your voice will be drowned in the bass, and nobody will be able to hear you. Your tone still should not be ridiculously high, just a little high enough to be audible. So, in a daytime situation you want your voice to be loud, slow, deep and resonant. You want to convey complete relaxation and dominance. 32

In a loud club situation, you want to make your voice slightly higher and faster, and become even more loud, conveying energy and playfulness. We use tonality exercises in each one of our programs to achieve a seductive tonality in the daytime, and a well-projected, captivating and fun tonality in the nighttime. In addition, we coach all our clients in-field, and give them feedback on their voice, and the ways that they can improve on it.

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Image and Stereotypes

We’re all a mix of many different things. Girls, and people in general, will see different parts of who we are. So when I get the question ’Can I get success even though I’m ?’ ... I shake my head. Insert any of ’short’, ’tall’, ’fat’, ’skinny’, ’old’, ’young’... also insert every race - yes, I’ve seen guys of all races get nervous and wonder if they can succeed... This is a common problem. You probably don’t like every single thing about yourself. Who does? Hopefully you’re trying to work past the things you don’t like and become the best person you can be. But what if you’re short? What can be done about that? Well your height isn’t going to change. But I don’t think that’s really what you care about. No, what you care about is bedding beautiful women and getting plenty of respect out of everyone you meet. Regardless of your height, you can bed plenty of beautiful women, and have very hot girlfriends. Something Very Important: The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereotypes about you. Read that again. 33

The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereotypes about you. If you’re short, you don’t want people to think ’Wow, he’s a short guy’ when they meet you. You don’t want to give off a ’short vibe’. Instead, you want to have some sort of powerful and positive image. When a 20-year old woman sees Mel Gibson, does she think, ’He’s old’ ? No way! She thinks he’s a rockstar, and seems fun and cool and successful. Look at Hugh Hefner, even. Hugh is a bazillion years old, but his image is one of a certified, legitimate, full-on playboy. And successful businessman and very cool and fun guy to socialize with. What does this mean to you? The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereotypes about you. A common question I get is, ’I’m

race, can I get

race of woman?’

Just last weekend, I had a student ask an interesting question. He was a cool guy, decent looks, good style. And yet he asked me, ’Can I get white women even though I’m Asian?’ I was blown away - and I told him of course he could, but he had to have a stronger image than something generic. My image is not ’white’. If the first thing a woman thought when she saw me was ’This guy is white’, then I’d be in trouble. I’d be superboring.

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Think typical ’suburban guy’. I don’t have a suburban guy image. The thing is, Caucasian is the majority in America. If you’re Caucasian in America, any image is stronger than the fact you’re white. Whereas if you’re another race, it might be a stronger image. This works for and against some races that are stereotypical as being powerful and masculine. But what if you’re not one of those? The sad reality is that some races have stereotypes attached to them in certain places. Here’s what you need: The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereotypes about you. I used to work out at a gym that had guys that looked to be Triads in them. Y’know, Chinese mafia. Ripped, dragon-tattooed guys, shaved heads, hot girlfriends and luxury cars and nice clothes and a ’Don’t mess with me’ look. When any woman looked at one of these guys, she didn’t think, ’He’s Asian.’ She thought ’He’s powerful’ or ’He’s a gangster’ or ’He’s buff.’ As an example, let’s compare two Chinese guys I knew. One went to that gym. He was about 5’5, but he was *jacked*. Muscles upon muscles. They called him ’the bull’. No joke. I called him ’el toro’ very, very respectfully. This guy had women all over him - black, white, latin, and of course Asian as well. On the other hand, I knew a Chinese computer-programmer. He had thick glasses and wore frumpled clothing and slouched over. He had no image, so women would lump him into the category of ’asexual Asian guy’ - They’d buy into the stereotype that he’s asexual, 35

because The image he put forward was not stronger than the negative stereotypes around him. When I told this to my Asian student last weekend, he started to ’get it’. By the end of his program, he was picking up girls of various races normally. Everybody’s got something that’s unappealing to some group of women. You’re either young or old or too skinny or too fat or too short or too tall or... something. I got to make a brief pass through France recently. You can bet your last nickel that I didn’t want people to think ’American’ right off the bat. I wanted women to think ’Wow, what a stylish powerful guy.’ When women would ask where I was from, I’d tell them to guess. I was getting a lot of ’Amsterdam’, ’Italy’, and ’Russia’. That means I was doing something right - I didn’t put off the negative vibe associated with Americans in France. I’m still American. But it wasn’t what I put forward. I’ve been to parties where I was the only white person in the room. Hell, I’ve been to parties where I was the only person in the room that didn’t speak fluent Mandrin, Spanish, or Creole. But I’d keep a warm smile and a good vibe, and yeah, everyone knew I was white... but I wasn’t ’the white guy’. Think on that. If you’re wondering, ’Am I too short?’ ... then think of if you put off a short vibe. Tom Cruise is pretty short. I’ve had students at short as 5’2. In fact, the shortest student I’ve ever had slept with 3 women within 2 months of meeting with me. Thing was, he didn’t identify with being a ’short guy’. He didn’t have a ’short vibe’. No, he acted like a highrollin’ playboy type, and the women bought right into that. Cultivate an image for yourself. If you have a weak image, then people will pick something arbitrary about you and assume the stereotypes. 36

If you have a solid image, your age, race, height, and all those other things you have no control over - They fade to black. And you get the girls you want.

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The Next Step

This article is not a complete guide to pickup and dating it is only the beginning. Learning how to meet women effectively is important. By learning the attitudes and behaviors in this article, you will undoubtedly be well on your way. But, you need to master much more than this to escalate an interaction with a woman all the way to sex, and also to establish a good relationship, exclusive or open, with her afterwards. Such a change may seem drastic to you, and it is. You may be asking yourself, if you are not currently having any success with woman, how you could ever possibly change into a truly attractive guy who can get any woman he wants? We believe in order to make such a change, information you read on the internet is not a complete solution. The internet can help, but in order to make a real change, you need real-life experience in the field. You may even want personalized attention from real masters of pickup and dating. At best, reports like this are only complements to our real-life programs. At our Seminars and In-Field Workshops, youll work with instructors Vincent and Sebastian in a small group setting, as they coach you through difficulties you are having in all stages of your interactions with women. In the classroom seminar, you are given the tools you need which will give you an edge on all other guys, and take your game to the next level. Youll hear two of the worlds best pick-up artists and dating masters teach you about the basics of body language, tonality, image and style, vibing, and all the other topics mentioned above, which are essential 37

for attracting women. The groups are kept small as the student to instructor ratio is limited. We wont just give you a bunch of techniques, we change your core identity through working directly with your inner beliefs. After weve supercharged your game in the seminar, we will take you out into the field and coach you interacting with women in real time. We will point out your mistakes and sticking points, and give you targeted feedback. Well work with you on any component of the game where you need work, be it opening, number closing, kissing a girl, or holding an interesting conversation. Well even work with you on phone game. If you check out our reviews, you will see we care about your success and will give you personalized attention every step of the way. The field work will take place in both daytime and nighttime venues, providing you with the skills to meet and attract women anywhere, anytime. You will still need motivation and hard work to achieve success, but if you have them the skills that you learn in the workshop can save you literally years of crashing and burning with women, and years of frustration and loneliness from going home alone, night after night. You can benefit instantly from our collective years of experience, and boost your game to the next level in one weekend. If youre interested in learning more about our programs, visit our website, http://www.the-approach.net. Also, be sure to check out our soon to be released e-book, detailing not only our fundamental methods of generating attraction and escalation, but also some brand new advanced concepts not found anywhere else. If you have any questions, feel free to drop us a line at our website. Yours Truly, Vincent DiCarlo and Sebastian Drake Founders, theApproach 38

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Testimonials

’I was literally trusting these guys with my life, and I could not be happier. I came to the bootcamp with a completely open mind. It was great and I learned so much. If I did not do this I may or may not have gotten to the level of where I want to be, but if I ever did get there, it will save me years of my time. I dont think there is many things as valuable as this.’ -Brian K. of New York City ’Sebastian is one of the best pick-up artists I’ve had the pleasure of meeting - his game is top-notch in all ways... He knows all about the learning process. Highly recommended.’ -Chad of Austin, TX ’Sebastian and Vincent have completely different styles from one another, and both get the same amazing results using theApproach framework and concepts. And there’s a whole underground network of guys they’ve trained in every city - their former clients. It’s like you become a part of this exclusive secret society or something. I still correspond with them through email, we share secrets and all the latest tricks of the trade and so on. I always remember back - one time watching Vincent, I realized how easy it was to pick up girls who already had boyfriends or were married even - I mean it was effortless! Just knowing that these guys exist was enough to convince me to sign up, if nothing else, so that they can’t steal my girlfriend!’ -Tim S. of San Fransisco, CA ’Yoooo Vince! Wasup big man! You wont believe, I have on my todo list since the seminar to email you a testimonial... but the list is way too long! LOL Well as far as results, the proof is in the pudding. Attached to this email are the pics in my car of the chick I met while we were ’in the

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field’ at the mall. It took me the 2nd date to get in there. The hardest part was making the time with my schedule to hook up with her. LOL. J so as u can see Im a happy camper. You can use anything I say in this email as my testimonial. It truly is a wonderful feeling that when a girl cancels on me now, I dont even sweat it, cause I have others in the pipeline waiting to meet me anyway. Now I have that buffer of ladies I can call on to hook up with. Not only did the workshop help me in going after any female I desire in my path, but its made me more successful in business too. Like the pauses between the flow of my words when I do seminars, and the conversation exercises when I meet prospects (for business and pleasure!). You guys are Hitch to the extreme! Forget reading books on this stuff, in my humble but accurate opinion, no other method has made me learn more than yours of making us actually do the work out in the field in real life situations, not just theory. And Im amazed with how those couple lines you advised me to say to past exs, who have a man, but still keep them as a bootycall...worked!’ -Raj of New York City ’I feel I am in a unique situation, since I am 45 years old and married. And if you saw me, you might not believe I pick up girls half my age. I took theApproach Bootcamp a few months ago and just recently did a one day refresher of personal coaching in Boston. I can’t say enough great things about Vincent and Sebastian. Although both guys are in their twenties, I was blown away at how well their method works for someone like me. They identify with me and understand all of my concerns. Their very smooth and subtle approach is well suited for older men. They actually pointed out many advantages we as older men have with younger women. For example, young women love older men if they have class and sophistication. They also reminded me of all the positive things I have personality wise to offer women. In addition, my wife loves the changes she has seen in me, and is 40

convinced the program has strengthened our relationship.’ -Vlad G of Boston, MA ’I’m really glad I took theApproach. I took a bootcamp with two additional days of personal coaching and it paid off huge. Before I took the program, I was a fat, poorly dressed loser. Now, I can’t guarantee you’ll have the results I did, but I was serious about improving. When I met Sebastian for my bootcamp, he started going through Attitudes with me. He asked me why any woman would be lucky to have me. I said she wouldn’t. He asked me if I liked myself. I said I didn’t. He taught me for a bit longer, then told me: ’I can tell you’re serious about success. Do you want the truth?’ I did. He went on, ’I can teach you all the tech in the world, and it’s all golden, but you’ll never reach the highest levels with your attitude. Are you willing to change how you think?’ I was! The first day, we started looking at which of my attitudes were good and which weren’t. Which made me happy and which didn’t. Sebastian taught me about the ’Lottery of Attitudes’ and how where we’re born and stuff that happens when we’re very little shape most people’s entire lives. I was feeling better. ’Chance hasn’t been easy on you. It wasn’t on me either and I’m here right now before you, dating beautiful and amazing women, and living my dream of teaching people to do better things. Are you willing to change?’ I said yes. Sebastian related his story to me, and told me how he once was worse off than me in a lot of ways. I found it unbelieveable when he told me how he used to look and act. I was determined to get better. At the end of the first day, I told Sebastian I wanted to practice all night before I saw him tomorrow. He 41

told me to hold on and got on his cell phone, and called a friend of his who is both a personal trainer and a former student. I went out with Sebastian’s trainer friend and we practiced after the program hours were over. The next morning, I went to the gym with him and lifted weights and broke up a big sweat. It hurt a lot but it felt good too. I showered and came to day 2 of the program. Sebastian reinforced some of the attitudes he’d already worked on with me, then started into the basics of approaching and initiating conversation. Things were going well. I flew through day 2, and Sebastian said I was really talented for going at such a good pace. I felt very comfortable with him the whole time and he made me feel really good. That night, I practiced solo and women were opening up to me. I liked what I saw. The next day, I was pretty sore still from the gym, but I felt good. I met up with Vincent and we went shopping for clothes for me. Vincent TOTALLY changed up my style, taking me from beyond bad to looking really really sharp. I got a new haircut and Vin brought in his girlfriend of the time who worked in the fashion industry to help me get the most cutting edge style and find good bargains at the same time. I was really happy with how I got dressed up and I was feeling really good in my new clothes. I said goodbye to Vin’s girlfriend at mid-day and we worked all on conversational skills, then more fieldwork. I was a bit frustrated at this part of the program since there’s so many skills, but Vin took good care of me and said it’s natural for it to take a while to seep in. As we were wrapping up day 3 Vin got a call and answered it, then handed the phone to me. Sebastian asked if I wanted to work out in the morning. I said hell yes, of course I do.

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He told me to get plenty of sleep that night and eat a good breakfast in the morning. I met Sebastian before the program and we worked out together. It was pretty cool to have him do that for me. He told me he’s happy to match the dedication level of the student and I was being very dedicated. We broke from the gym a few hours before the program was going to start, and Sebastian said he needed a nap. He went and got some sleep, but I couldn’t help but go practice my developing skills in a bookstore. I went in with Sebastian’s favorite opener on a girl in the cafe and we talked for two hours. I got her number when I had to leave for the start of the program! I met Sebastian and Vincent actually came along as well free of charge. Vin had explained to me when I signed up that you can get 1:1 personal coaching time, but a lot of times if Sebastian or he is free and in the same area, they’ll go two instructors to one student. Well it was very cool having both guys. I got to see a couply demonstrations with Sebastian or Vincent explaining what the other was doing in real time. It was also cool to see how they worked together and got things going. At this point, I had already improved my health, style, and attitudes. I had learned how to approach and the execution behind good conversation. Now it was time for the heavy stuff. The got into screening, qualifying, touching, cold reading, and other skills. I learned a lot of advanced techniques but I was able to start doing a lot right away. Things were coming together great. We covered a wide range of subjects and then got out there. I got four phone numbers and a kiss! Amazing! I felt better, looked better, and was doing much better. After we broke, I called one of my female friends and she said I sounded totally different 43

on the phone. I asked how and she said ’Totally alive.’ As per Sebastian’s recommendation, I called the girl I met in the bookstore earlier that night. I used some of the storytelling and screening techniques I had learned and demonstrated my interest in a good way, not a chasing way. The last day of my custom program, I was really sore but it was a good sore. I felt tired but energized. I moved a bit stiffly from the weights yesterday but it was all good. I looked great in my new clothes. I came to the last of day of my personal coaching program. Vin and Sebastian were both there again. Vin taught relationship skills, Sebastian taught the basics of good sex, and they went over the full structure of a pickup together. They covered miscellaneous skills, answered all my remaining questions, and gave me exercises to do to keep getting better. We did a little more field work and things were going really well. I got a few more numbers and another kiss. They did my final debrief, then Sebastian saw a really hot blond chick as we were ready to break. He said ’Go, she’s all yours.’ I went in and started running my game. Things were so fluid it was out of this world. I was sore and I felt like my movements might’ve been kind of jerky from lifting weights but it didn’t even matter. At the end, I invited this beautiful beautiful blond girl back to my place for dinner and drinks... The program has been amazing to me. It’s been three weeks and I’ve slept with three women, including the girl from the bookstore and the blond girl. I’m actually looking to settle down once I find the right woman, but right now I’m going to have some fun before I do. I got a gym membership and I’m doing full body workouts three times a week. I feel so much more happy and successful, and I’m meeting so many more women. A lot of women in my life that were looking right past me and taking me for granted now are trying to get with me. Haha too late!

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I’m so glad I took theApproach and I can’t thank Vincent and Sebastian enough. I don’t know if everyone can have my results, but if everyone can get even 1/10th of what I did, it’s worth every penny. Life-changing, motivating, empowering, amazing performance. Vincent, Sebastian, thank you. You are gods among men.’ -Phil Anderson, Newton, MA

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