Action Plan To Improve My Life

Action Plan For Implementation and Internalization of Lessons Learned at Alex Hotseat 1.

Mindfulness: a. Replacing negative thoughts with “There is no reason I am not enough. When I’m not doing anything, repeat that phrase over and over again in my head as much as I can throughout the day b. Meditation- 30 minutes every day c. Write in my “Emotions Journal” for 30 minutes, every night, about my emotions throughout the day and specifically any times when I let my emotions be manipulated by external factors. Also- focus on empathy and times when I was overly focused on myself in a given situationfocus on how the other person is feeling and relating to that, as opposed to being TOO much in my own movie d. Say, “There is no reason I am not enough” into a tape recorder and play it on repeat when I’m sleeping

2. Creating Relaxed/Positive Overall Lifestyle a.. Working Out b. Eating Healthy c. Maximum 2 beers when I’m out enjoying myself d. No more ordering shitty beers- that’s fucking gay. If I only get 2 I want to make them count and enjoy them 3.

Reflection

A. Write field reports for each night that I go out (Up to a maximum of 2-3/week)- They are going to be much higher quality now, so I don’t want to spend all my fucking time writing field reports- that’s gay as fuck but the ones I do write I want to be VERY high quality. i. Areas of Focus for Field Reports 1. Tests that are recurring- what were the tests, how did I respond, was my response “try hard” or “chasing” the girl, did I become aggressive/defensive in response to the test and if so, how could I have responded without becoming aggressive or defensive 2. Moments of “Weirdness” i.e: When/Why did I behave incongruently// “TryHard” or began to “chase” the girl 3. Logistical Intrusions and how they resolved themselves- if they did not resolve themselves, posit solutions as to how I should have authentically dealt with the situation so that everyone could enjoy continue to enjoy themselves 4. Emotions throughout the Night- When did my emotional state dip and what was the impetus for this dip. When did my emotional state spike and what was the impetus for this spike 5. Focus on “Empathy”- when could I have had more empathy and looked at the situation from a less “egotistical” or “self-centered” way and moved the interaction to a better place through this empathy. Make note of where “statements of empathy” would have made her feel more comfortable and allowed us to have more fun

6. Make note of all the times when I prematurely walked away from a set and get at why I walked away, what I was thinking at the time, what my emotional state was at the time and how I could have moved the interaction forward without leaving 7. Make note of times when I was getting impatient 8. Make note of times when I ignored the friends, as opposed to interacting with them and enjoying the entire experience, as opposed to being selfish and wanting to create an isolated “bubble” of me and the girl. 9. Make note of times when I gave the girl more attention than she deserved- this is a matter of empathy- she wants us to be able to interact with her entire friend group

4. Aligning Thoughts and Words a. Change the way I speak about girls and my interactions with girls//people in general to reflect the goals that are in my head and that I’ve written down i. When friends talk about girls ask about the girl, ask if she was cool, what she does, if she was fun in the sack – as opposed to just being like, “You bang her?” ii. Talk about the experiences I’m having- as opposed to the girls I’m banging. Talk in a way that reflects what I want to achieve 5. Self Amusing// Loving Myself a. Get a fucking normal phone that has internet and can take pictures/video i. Start getting pictures of the girls I’m having fun with as well as the places I go to and the sights I see ii. Videotape my adventures and my friends iii. Make an action plan to pinpoint what really makes me laugh iv. Continue to express myself without holding back- let people know when I really like something or really hate something or anything in between v. Have at least one new experience a week, entirely alone. Then share that experience with the people close to me with videos/pictures/stories. Do not share this experience with people who I’m not close with vi. Express boundary’s with others. Do not answer calls or texts when I’m at dinner or doing something with close friends, unless it’s time critical//an emergency and somebody close to me who I care a lot about. Don’t sacrifice my own plans in order to accommodate other people’s plans. vii. Prioritize my inner circle of friends/family above everything else (except myself). viii. Do no harm