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THE COMIC

LATIN GRAMMAR; iri^o^sfnajeBftsr n

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anD facetious llnttoOucttou

CO

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"Z'i

LATIN TONGUE.

WITH NUMEROUS ILLUSTRATIONS.

THE SECOND EDITION.

U

r LONDON:

5 *

t/

CHARLES

TILT,

FLEET STREET.

Fff

1S4O COE, PRINTER, 27, OLD CHANGE, ST. PAUL'S.

ADVERTISEMENT TO THE SECOND EDITION.

The Author edition of

it

of this

to

little

go forth

by a few words

work cannot allow a second

to the world,

unaccompanied

of apology, he being desirous of

imitating, in every respect, the

example of

distin-

guished writers.

He

begs that so much as the consciousness of

being answerable ally

for

prompts a man

criticism,

may

already.

But he

want

a great deal of nonsense, usu-

to say, in the

be considered particularly

of additions to his

book

hope of disarming

to

have been said

requests that

may be

excused

;

tlie

and

ADVERTISEMENT. pleads, in arrest of judgment, his

numerous and

absorbing avocations.

Wishing

to atone as

much

as possible for this

and prevailed upon by the importunity

deficiency,

of his friends, he has allowed a portrait of himself,

by

that eminent artist,

he

is

indebted

probably

for

Mr. John Leech,

the embellishments,

for the sale of the book, to

to

whom

and very

be presented,

facing the title-page, to the public.

Here again he has been to

comply

by the wish

influenced

Avith the requisitions of

custom, and the

disinclination to appear odd, whimsical, or peculiar.

On

admirable sketch

the

itself,

requires that he should speak

The

likeness he

admirers,

is

told,

is excellent.

bare justice

somewhat

in detail.

he fears by too partial

The

principle on

which

it

has been executed, that of investing with an ideal magnitude, the proportions of nature,

from what

we

is

plainly,

observe in heroic poetry, painting,

and sculpture, the soul

itself of the

superhuman

ADVERTISEMENT.

Of the

and sublime.

compliment implied it is

justness of the metaphorical

in the delineation of the head,

not for the author to speak

ness and delicacy, his sense sion.

The

is

;

of

exquisite-

its

too strong for expres-

habitual pensiveness of the

elevated

eyebrows, mingled with the momentary gaiety of the rest of the countenance, cessful points in

nature as

it is

why

desires to artist

his

tailor,

is

as tiue to

though there are certain

name should

express his

for the

and

the picture,

indicative of art.

The Author's reasons

one of the most suc-

is

not appear in print,

obligation to the talented

very favourable impression which,

without prejudice to truth, has been given public of his

management

skill.

The

to

the

ease so conspicuous in the

of the surtout,

and the thought so

remarkable in the treatment of the trousers,

fully

warrant his admiration and gratitude.

Too great praise cannot be bestowed on the considered with reference respect the Author

is

to

art,

boots,

though in

this

quite sensible that both him-

ADVERTISEMENT. self

and the maker

greatly flattered. there ill

is

their originals

ol'

He

is

also perfectly

have been

aware

that

a degree of neatness, elegance, and spirit

the tie of the cravat, to which he has in reality

never yet been able

In conclusion, he

to attain.

is

much

gratified

by the

taste

displayed in furnishing him with so handsome a

walking stick

;

and he assures

all

whom

it

may

concern, that the hint thus bestowed will not be lost

upon him

;

for

he intends immediately

the large oaken cudgel

accustomed

to

carry,

which he has hitherto been

and

to

appear,

respect, to the present generation,

descend

to posterity.

to relinquish

in

every

such as he will

PREFACE.

A

GREAT

book, says an old proverb,

new

and a great preface, says a It is not, therefore,

bore.

a great evil;

is

one,

a great

is

our intention to expatiate

largely on the present occasion

;

since a

especially

long discourse prefixed to a small volume,

is like

forty-eight pounder at the door of a pig- stye.

should as soon think of erecting the Nelson rial in front it

Buckingham Palace.

of

not necessary to

we

fashion,

show some kind

Indeed, were of respect to

should hasten at once into the midst of

our readers, and possibly,

trifling

Avith their time.

should not like to be kept waiting at a Lord

Mayor's fare.

We

Memo-

instead of trespassing on the patience of

things,

We

a

feast

Our

by a long

the merit of novelty

description of the bill of

however, shall

preface,

is shall

;

at

least

have

be candid.

This book, like the razors in Dr. Wolcot's story, is

made

to sell.

vocal meaning

This

— but

last

we

should say to be sold.

word has a

rather equi-

scorn to blot, otherwise

An

article offered for

we

sale

and it is may, nevertheless, be worth buying aforesaid the between resemblance the hoped that ;

A 2

PREFACE.

4 and

razors,

this our production, does not

razors proved

worth a farthing

scarcely

clown who bought them fit

We

trust that the "

be found least,

the

to

eighteen-pence, and

for

to

Comic Latin Grammar"

now and

cut,

than that comes to

the purchaser,

any

at

by

his penny,

for

to

The

shave nothing but the beard of an oyster.

were

to

extend

commodities.

the respective 57m;7;«e55 of the

its

;

then, rather better,

and

rate,

will

that

it

will

at

reward

with his pennyworth

genuine bona

contents.

fide

There are many works, the pages of which contain good deal of useful matter

a

— sometimes

the

in

shape of an ounce of tea or a pound of butter

we

:

venture to indulge the expectation, that these latter additions to the value of our own, will be considered

unnecessary.

Perhaps we should have adopted " Latin in sport

made

the

learning in earnest"

title

of

— which

would give a tolerable idea of the nature of our undertaking. the

same

bread

doctrine,

it

true,

is

may

matter, that

relation to the lighter

in Falstaff's private

bear the

account did to the liquor

;

we have given our reader " a deal of sack," wish it may not be altogether "intolerable.''

though Ave

The

if

Latin, however,

most boys, than

is

a great deal less like bread, to

it is

like

physic

;

mony, ipecacuanha, and similar

especially anti-

medicines.

It

ought, therefore, to be given in something palatable.

—

PREFACE. and capable of causing

mind

—

This

in

it

what physicians

O

to be retained

the

a pleasant vehicle.

call

we have endeavoured

by

invent

to

— and

if

we

have disguised the flavour of the drugs without destroying their virtues,

we

accomplished our design.

There are a few

nasty

cularly

we

draughts, and

pills,

have entirely

shall

parti-

which

boluses,

means of sweetening; and with

could find no

we have not attempted to omissions we must request

which, on that account,

meddle.

some

For these

Our performance

indulgence.

little

fessedly imperfect, but be "

Men

it

rather do their broken

Than

weapons

an

called

Grammar

frequently

had the whole of

is.

it to

—

what

;

can,

certainly,

We

remember having

learn at school, besides being for

pinning a cracker

The above

master's coat-tail. attention of boys

use,

imposition, as another Latin

never be

matter

con-

their bare hands."

The " Comic Latin Grammar"

—no

is

remembered, that

hint

is

to

the

worthy the

nor will the following, probably^

be thrown away upon school-masters, particularly such

as reside in the north of England.

and grow

Now,

fat,"

is

"

Laugh

an ancient and a true maxim.

will not the "

Comic Latin Grammar,"

(like

Scotch marmalade and Yarmouth bloaters) form a " desirable addition"

to the breakfast of the

K 3

young

6

PREFACE.

gentlemen entrusted

to

say

we

much hold

of

1

We

dare not

superseding the use of the cane, as

its

old established customs in the

all

reverence and

utmost

respect; and, besides, have no wish

We

one of innocent amusement.

deprive any

to

care

their

would only suggest, that

flagellation is

now some-

limes necessary, and that whatever tends to render it

optional may,

One word is

now and

then, save trouble.

The march

in conclusion.

not confined to the male sex

the creation are

now augmenting by

and adorning by and

But for

pretend not

for

strew

not poetically given

it

their tender

;

we

;

is

We

we

are

cannot even promise

—but

minster will serve their turn, their

feet.

them with roses

— nay,

them a Brussels carpet

for

numbers,

path of learning

the

sometimes too rugged to

their

countenance, the scientific

their

literary train.

of intellect

the fairer part of

;

if

we

a plain Kidderhere display one

accommodation, that thus smoothly and

pleasantly they

may make

their safe ascent to the

temple of Minerva and the Muses.

INTRODUCTION.

Very

little

introductory matter would probably be

sufficient to place the rising generation

Grammar."

To

on terms of

with a " Comic Latin

the most perfect familiarity

the elder and middle-aged portion

of the community, however, the very notion of such a

work may seem

terous

;

if

in the highest degree prepos-

not indicative of a degree of presumptuous

irreverence on the part of the literary high treason, if not

of moral

defined of

by

delinquency, the

little

short of

commensurate,

in point

with

common law

consideration

for

author

the

the

of England.

personages, that

to

preliminary remarks; wherein

by demonstrating all

out

though

such respectable

make

it

as

the following

will be our object,

the necessity which exists for

such a publication as ourselves from

It is

praiseworthy,

perhaps erroneous, feelings of

we proceed

same crime

the present, to exonerate

blame on the score of

its

pro-

duction.

When we

consider

and refinement, we

the progress of civilization

find that all ages

have

in turn

INTRODUCTION.

8

been characterized by some one distinctive pecu-

To say nothing

other.

or

liarity

Golden

of the

Age, the Silver Age, the Iron Age, and so with

which, scarcely

be said

argument

;

it is

Augustan Age, Age, and the

the Elizabethan

Queen Anne, were

of

ferent,

them very

of

all

one from the other, in regard

each of them.

In

manner, the

like

dif-

to the peculiar

tone of feeling which distinguished the public in

can

worth much in a grave

be

to

quite clear that the

the Middle Ages,

Age

forth,

all possible respect for the poets,

mind

present

(which will hereafter probably be called the Vic-

Age)

torian

Not but as

it

is

may

It

it.

that

is in

very unlike be

all

that

Age

termed the

some traces of comic

have preceded of Comicality.

feeling, inherent

the very nature of man, have not at all

times been more or less observable

but

;

it

is

only

of late years that the ludicrous capabilities of the

human mind have expanded

in their fullest vigour.

Comicality has heretofore been evinced only, as

it

were, in isolated sparks and flashes, instead of that full

blaze of meridian splendour which

the entire

mechanism of

the transactions of there

society,

Thus

life.

now pervades

and illuminates

in the

all

Golden Age,

was something very comical in human creaThe Augustan Age

tures eating acorns, like pigs.

was comical enough, Horace's

satires.

if

Much

we may comicality

trust

some of

was displayed

:;

INTRODUCTION. in

the

Middle Ages,

knights errant,

the

mode adopted by on the

Age

the

in

doings in

particularly

Palestine,

and the

the priests of inculcating religion

minds of the people.

several

proceedings of the

In the Elizabethan

comic incidents occurred at court

when any

of the courtiers were guilty

of personal impertinence to their virgin queen.

It

must have been very comical

to

see Shakspere

holding stirrups like an ostler,

or

performing the

part

of the

The

dress

the

first

worn

Hamlet.

in

—

this.

Our concern

is

— the funniest epoch, beyond

with the present all

comparison, in

Some few

the history of the world. the

of

Queen Anne's time, and that of Georges, was very comical indeed but

enough of time

own play

Ghost, in his

years back,

minds of nations, convulsed with the great

political revolutions

then taking place, were in a

mood by no means apt sicality

and merriment.

be gratified by whim-

to

Furthermore, certain poets

of the lack-a-daisical school, such as Byron, Shelley,

Goethe, and others, Avriting

in comforniity

with the

prevailing taste of the day, threw a wet blanket on the spirits of men,

which

all

feeble embers of mirth, upon

but extinguished the

which 'shocking events'

had exercised so pernicious an influence already or,

to

change a vulgar

for

a scientific metaphor,

they placed such a pressure of sentimental atmosphere on the

common

stock of laughing gas, as to

INTRODUCTION.

10 convert it

it

altogether.

amount

mere

into a It

now

is

which under favourable

capable of

is

it

about the happy

under which we now

rank

of

;

Amongst

live.

exertions of individuals hold

these, the

whom the

Many

exerting.

causes have combined to bring state of things

to solidify

exhibiting the amazing

of expansive force,

circumstances

and almost

fluid,

the

first

veteran Liston, the late lamented

Mr. John Reeve, the facetious Keeley, and the Buckstone, are deserving of our highest

inimitable

And more

commendation. to

epecially

the talented author of the

is

praise due

Pickwick Papers,

whose genius has convulsed the sides of thousands, has revolutionized the republic of letters (making,

no doubt, a great as

were,

it

a

many

sovereigns) and has become,

which

mirror,

will

reflect

to all

posterity the laughter-loving spirit of his age,

But

it

is

not (as

is

shewn.

it

is

In

strikingly

we have

many

recent

may be

offspring of the sciences

which they present

— some

quoted as examples.

— those pledges of

to art,

almost

all

of

The

aff'ection

of them,

come

the world with a caricature-like smirk upon

their faces.

Air-balloons and rail-roads have some-

thing funny about them are,

the ludicrous

scientific speculations

and abundantly obvious

those on geology

into

before remarked) in

that the tendency to

literature alone,

to

say the

least,

;

and photogenic drawings

very curious.

The learned

INTRODUCTION. professions are is

The law

tinged with drollery.

all

confessedly ridiculous from beginning to end, and

what

is

very strange,

make

to

it

is

that no one should attempt

Medicine

otherwise.

rather tragi-comical its

11

—

comical

is

the disparity of opinion

— or

among

professors, the chaotic state of its principles,

the conduct of

students being

its

considered.

and

No

one can deny that the distribution of church property

somewhat odd,

is

doings

—

at

least of those

now and

clerical office, are

character. things,

Political

when we

or

can

who

assert

that

the

are destined for the

then of rather a strance

meetings are very laughable

upon the strong assevera-

reflect

made and believed. The is by no means of particularly when it offers muni-

of patriotism there

tions

wisdom of

the

legislature

the gravest class,

reforms

cipal

as

a

substitute

humourous character,

if

The

bread.

for

House must be

debates in a certain

of a very

we may judge from

the

frequent " hear hear, and a laugh," by which the

proceedings there

are

Our

interrupted.

risible

faculties are continually called into action at public

lectures of all

kinds

;

and indeed, no

however learned he may

be,

has

now-a-days of instructing, unless he can his

audience.

Nor can

the

lecturer,

much chance

various

also

amuse

public and

even private buildings, which are daily springing

up around

us, like so

many mushrooms,

be contem-

INTRODUCTION'.

12

plated without considerable emotions of mirthfulness. Tiie

new

style of ecclesiastical architecture, entitled

the Cockney-Gothic, this

remark

comic Temple of the Fine

but the

;

good illustration of

affords a

Arts, in Trafalgar Square,

what Lord Bacon

is

would have

called a " glaring instance"

correctness.

The occurrences

of them

stamp of facetiousness.

the

approbation, policy,

is

stantly played off upon

Yankees, and

French,

impertinent

to

may

John Bull by the Russians, others,

though somewhat

The

state

Tragedies are at a discount

premium

;

Drama

proof

of our

;

farces are at a

nay goats and monkeys, are pressed

the service of

into

seem very

of the

in

position.

lions,

vote of

the tricks that are con-

;

be brought forward

also

The

all

a certain course of

the aforesaid John, must

diyerting to lookers on.

its

day bear

of the

lately passed on

a capital joke

of

institutions for the

Momus.

Even

the

various

advancement of morals have not

escaped the influence of the prevailing

taste.

To

mention that respectable body of men, the Teetotallers, is sufficient of itself to excite

short,

look

wherever you

will,

you

matter of the greatest difficulty to

a smile.

will

find

In it

a

keep your coun-

tenance.

The find is

it

truth

is,

that people are tired of crying,

much more agreeable

out of fashion

;

the

to laugh.

and

The sublime

ridiculous is in vogue.

A

;

INTRODUCTION. turn-up nose

is

now a more

a turn-down collar

and

;

by

interesting object than

if it

should be urged that

young men are

the flowing locks of our of sentimentality

13

their length,

indicative

be remem-

let it

bered that they are in general quite unaccompanied

by a corresponding quality of said that the schoolmaster is

is

face.

abroad

:

has been

It

— true

but he

;

walking arm and arm with the Merry- Andrew

;

and the members, presidents, and secretaries of mechanics'

and associations

institutions,

advancement of everything, follow Nothing can be taught that nothing

is

now

in

his

not palatable,

is

palatable but what

is

the

for

train.

and

That

funny.

boys should be instructed in the Latin language will be denied

persons

this

expected to all

by few (although by some eccentric has been done)

that they

reflecting minds, especially

foregoing

disposed

can be

on perusing the

appear

considerations,

degree unreasonable. as are

;

Avhat they cannot laugh at will,

to learn

To conclude

in :

—

the

highest

let all

such

at the title of our work,

to stare

ponder attentively on what we have said above let them, in the language of the farce, " put this

and

that together,"

the beneficial

Grammar

and they

effect,

which holding up the Latin

to ridicule is

minds of youth. our senior readers.

will at once perceive

likely to

So much

And

for the

now,

B

produce in the satisfaction

of

no longer to detain

14

INTRODUCTION.

our juvenile friends, pleasure, or

mony with

both

:

let

—we

us proceed to business, will

or

not stand upon cere-

respect to terms.

THE Sl'HOOLMASTER ABHOAD.

—

THE

COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Of

Latin there are three kinds

good Latin

Dog

;

Latin

:

and

;

Latin Proper, or good Latin,

is

Latin Proper, or Thieves'

Latin.

the language which

was spoken by the ancient Romans. Dog Latin is the Latin in which boys compose their first verses and themes, and which is occasionally employed

at

Cambridge, but much more burgh,

Aberdeen,

and

Medical Latin, and the unlearned,

est

;

and

includes

It

though these,

Illic

vadis

cum

your eye out

to

Mens

appear Greek.

generally ;

;

oculo

Quo-

—how's your mother] Fiat a draught be made, capiendus —

mater tua?

haustus ter die to

Latin

— mind your eye ex — there you go with

modo

Oxford

frequently at Edin-

Glasgow.

Law

tuus ego tuo

of

Universities

the

let

be taken three times a day;

goods and chattels

Bona

— are examples. b2

et catalla

——

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

16

known by the among a certain

Thieves' Latin, more commonly

name

of slang,

class

of

tinctions

much in use who disregard

is

conveyancers,

meum

of

and

tuum.

the

dis-

Furthermore,

it

constitutes a great part of the familiar discourse of

most young men

in

modern times, particularly

lawyers' clerks and medical students.

very close

affinity

it is

a wipe

start

—a

Law

—

to

A

heavy swell

—a

— undone.

plant

Sold

great dandy.

bears a

Examples

steal a handkerchief.

curious occurrence.

Flummoxed

It

with which,

Latin,

sometimes confounded.

indeed, to prig

tion.

to

A

:

rum

— an imposi-

— deceived.

Quibus,

tin,

A

dibs.

A HEAVY SWELL.

mopuses,

stumpy

victuals.

A

subject.

—money.

Grub, prog, tuck

stiff-'un— a dead

To be scragged—to

of the law, &c.

body— properly,

a

suffer the last penalty

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

17

All these kinds of Latin are to be taught in the

Comic Latin Grammar.

Toby, the learned pig, had been desired

If

say his alphabet in Latin, he would have done

to it

TOBr, THE LEARNED PIG.

by taking away the Indeed,

this is

what he

The Latin

done.

W from is

letters,

the English alphabet. said to have actually

therefore,

remind us of

the greatest age that a fashionable lady ever confesses she has attained to,

and

Six of these

letters are called

speaking English, a,

—being between twenty

thirty.

e,

1,

o,

call

fowls

u, y.

B 3

what Dutchmen,

— vowels;

namely,

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

18

A

vowel

is

an .^Eolian harp

like

and perfect sound of

full

A

itself.

it

;

makes a

consonant can-

more than a horn

not sound without a vowel, any

(except such an one as Baron Munchausen's) can

play a tune without a performer.

Consonants are divided into mutes, liquids and although they have nothing in letters;

double

the

particular to do with funerals, hydrostatics, or office.

The

letters, j,

x,

General post double

the

liquids are, z

;

1,

m,

n,

r;

the other letters are

mutes.

Hye dum, dye

"

A

dutn, fiddle

dumb

— c."

Stekne.

syllable is a distinct sound of one or

more

we say

in the

letters

pronounced

in a breath, or, as

classics, in a jiffey.

A

diphthong

closed

is

Taken

syllable. fist

—

are au, eu,

i.

the sound of two vowels in one

and

of the two vowels of

may

Of the two

oe.

is

first

of these,

which each

is

formed.

This

perhaps be impressed upon the mind, on

a familiar beverage,

half-and-half. rally

a

intermediate between that

the principles of artificial to

resemble

The diphthongs

a bunch oi Jives.

e.

ei, se,

au and eu, the sound

fact

they

collectively

memory, by a reference the name of

known by

In like manner,

pronounced

i,

and

se

and

ei,

ce,

which

is

gene-

sounded like

e.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

may to

be said

to exhibit

+ Brown

male,

HUMAN DIPHTHONG.

A

The

something like an analogy

The human diphthong, Smith is called Brown only.

a married couple.

female

King Lear, why

reason, says the fool in

seven stars are no more than reason

—because they are not

reason

;

but

we

They

seven

eight.

—

This

the

a pretty

is

is

a fool's

many other commentators) one, why the Parts of Speech

(like

cannot give a better

more than eight

are no

19

are as follow

—because they are not

nine.

:

— declined.

1.

Noun, Pronoun, Verb, Participle

2.

Adverb, Preposition, Conjunction, Interjec-

tion

— undeclined.

decline

them

Most schoolboys would

altogether.

like to

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

20

OF A NOUN,

—whether be a Christian a name of a a sur-name — name, Whatever — a noun. a a pancake, A

noun

is

a name,

or

post.

it

Nouns

prince,

the

or

is

and adjec-

into substantives

are divided

pig,

is

tives.

A

noun substantive

speaks

word

—

posion

;

a cabbage

brassica,

cus, a physician

;

vetula,

like

cannot go alone.

to a substantive,

quality

own

trumpeter,

and

;

sartor,

a

tailor

an old woman

;

;

medi-

venenuin,

are examples of substantives.

An adjective is it

is its

without assistance from any other

for itself

—as

an

It

infant in leading strings

always requires

of which

lectio

longa,

it

MAIER IICR.

be joined

shows the nature

a long lesson

aper, a great boar ; pinguis puer, a fat

puer, a lean boy.

to

;

boy

or

magnus ;

macer

In making love (as you will find

PINUHS PIER.

;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

21

one of these days) or in abusing a cab-man, your success will depend in no small degree in your choice of adjectives.

NUMBERS OP NOUNS. Be

not alarmed,

There are numbers of nouns, say, lots

;

or,

we say

as

above heading.

boys, at the it is

true, that is to

in the schools, " a precious

sight" of nouns in the dictionary but we are not now going to enumerate, and make you learn them. The numbers of nouns here spoken of are two ;

only

the singular

;

The brick

faba, a

;

flamma, a blaze

and the

plural.

speaks but of one

singular

bean ;

tuba, a

;

trump

—as (or

later,

a

trumpet)

a}thiops, a nigger (or negro)

;

cor-

nix, a crow.

The bricks

plural speaks of ;

fabae,

beans

;

more than one tubse,

blazes; aethiopes, niggers

Here

it

may

;

— as

trumps

;

lateres,

flammse,

cornices, crows.

be remarked that the cynic philo-

sophers were very singular fellows.

Also that prize-poems are sometimes composed in

very singular numbers.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

22

CASES OP NOUNS. Nouns have

six cases in each number, (that

oal_y

They

be put in one of them at a time.

thus ticketed

— nominative,

The nominative case comes does before

before the ancient,"

before

police

the

who

question,

accu-

dative,

genitive,

are

and ablative.

sative, vocative,

the horse

is,

half a dozen of the other) but can

six of one and

the cart,

and the

inspector.

what

or

before the verb, as

as,

;

the

" lieutenant

superintendant It

answers

Who jaws

1

to

of

the

magister

jurgatur, the master jaws.

The

genitive case

answers

Whose

is

known by

breeches

?

the

sign

of,

and

whose, or whereof; as

the question,

to

Femoralia magistri

— the breeches

of the master, or the master's breeches.

The dative case and answers

to

is

known by

the question, to

To whom do

I

Protendo manus magistro

—

what

;

as,

the signs to or for,

whom,

hold out I

hold out

or to or

for

my hands ? my hands to

the master.

In

this

whether

it

place

we

are called upon to consider,

be more agreeable

to

have Latin or the

ferula at o\xx fingers' ends.

Observe that dative masters are very often

means giving. in

School-

the dative case

— but

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

23

their generosity is chiefly exercised in bestowing

what

is

termed monkey's allowance

that

;

if

is,

not

more kicks, more boxes on the ear, more spats, more canings, birchings, and impositions, than halfpence.

The accusative

case follows the verb, as a bailiff

follows a debtor, a bull-dog a butcher, or a round squall

of applause a supernatural

Opera.

answers

It

What ?

Whom

as.

do you laugh at

back) Derideo magistrum

The ing to

vocative case

;

which

O

as, is

I

—

]

or

(behind his

?

laugh at the master.

known by

is

magister

—

the Italian

Whom

speak-

calling, or

master

an exclamation

;

frequently the consequence of shirking

making

out,

at

the question

to

false concords or quantities,

obstre-

perous conduct in school, &c.

The tions,

ablative case

expressed

magistro

—

is

known by

certain preposi-

as

understood;

caught out by the master.

—before the heak. by,

or

The

and the word,

—

in a fix.

arbore

—from

lubricior

than,

indigena

a tree.

rostro

prepositions, in, with, from, after

the comparative

degree, are signs of the ablative case.

Cum

Deprensus

Coram

A

— with a —by a

rictu

— slicker than grease.

In angustia native. grin.

Ab

Adipe

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

24

GENDERS AND ARTICLES. The genders of nouns,

which are

the

three,

masculine, the feminine, and the neuter, are denoted in

Latin by

English,

articles.

which

We have

articles,

;

such as

and breeches, mantillas and mackintoshes.

But as there are many things culine

in

distinguish the masculine from the

feminine, but they are articles of dress petticoats

also,

in Latin, called

mas-

and feminine, which are nevertheless not

;

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. male and female, the

25

articles attached to

them are

not parts of dress, but parts of speech.

We

now,

will

them

initiate

with our readers' permission,

into a

article hie, haec, hoc.

of protesting

system

against

teaching

of

new mode of declining the And we take this opportunity the

and short-sighted

old

boy only one thing

a

at a

time, Avhich originated, no doubt, from the general

ignorance of everything but the dead languages

which prevailed

make

to

in the

We propose

monkish ages.

declensions, conjugations, &c., a vehicle

imparting something more than the mere dry

for

facts of the

immediate subject.

And

we

if

can

occasionally inculcate an original remark, a scientific

we

principle, or a moral aphorism,

shall, of course,

think ourselves sufficiently rewarded by the consciousness

—

Masc.

et caetera, et caetera, et cajtera.

Fern. haec.

hie.

The nominative

Which

to learn,

knock

The

(A

's

hie, haec,

's

hujus, the dative

—

is

full

makes

Mr. Squeers never mentioned

Then hunc, banc, and

cock

and hoc,

has cost school boys

many

a fowl

to

huic,

Smike);

hoc, the accusative makes.

—

The vocative caret no very The ablative case maketh hoc,

A

&c.

;

genitive

fact

singular

INTeut. hoc,

— but a fowl c

great shakes

's

hac,

and hoc,

not a cock.

a

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

26

The nominative plural is hi, hae, and hsec, The Roman young ladies were dressed a laGrecque The

;

genitive case horum, harum, and horum,

Silenus and Bacchus were fond of a jorum

;

The dative in all the three genders is his, At Actium his tip did Mark Antony miss The accusative 's hos, has, andhaec in all grammars, Herodotus told some American crammers The vocative here also caret 's no go, As Milo found rending an oak-tree, you know :

—

—

;

;

And

his, like the

dative the ablative case

is.

The Furies had most disagreeable faces. Nouns declined with two articles, are called common. This word common requires explanation it is not used in the same sense as that in which

—

we

that

say,

quackery

common

is

medicine,

in

knavery in the law, and humbug everywhere pigeons at Crockford's,

Exchange, Jews foreigners

noun

is

in

— No

one that

class; soldier,

word therefore

readers,

so is fur,

which

will

who do

a

and

common

may be

it is

;

uncoinmon.

declined both with

obvious reasons, a noun of this

hsec, is, for

and

;

Stock

ditto,

both masculine and feminine

is

Parens, a parent, which

and

at the

and Royal

Leicester Square!

in one sense of the

hie,

lame ducks

at the ditto,

a thief;

likewise

appear strange

not call to

the ancient amazons

;

miles,

to those of

a

our

mind the existence of

the dashing white sergeant

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. being the only female soldier times. "instance

heroine

in

modern

Nor have we more than one authenticated of a female sailor, if we except the

commemorated

narrative

—

Nouns

somewhat apocryphal

are called doubtful Avhen declined

showman

Napoleon

in the

Billy Taylor.

the article hie or haec the

known

27

—whichever you

said of the

At

all

events

please, as

of Wellington and

Anguis,

Bonaparte.

doubtful noun.

Duke

with

a

he

snake, is

is

a

a doubtful

customer.

Epicene nouns are those which, though declined with one article only,

represent both sexes, as hie

passer, a sparrow, hcEC aquila, an eagle, c

2

— cock and

28

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

A

hen.

sparrow, however, to say nothing of an

must appear a doubtful noun with regard

eagle,

to

gender, to a cockney sportsman.

After

all,

there

is

no rule in the Latin language

about gender so comprehensive as that observed in

Hampshire, where they

call

every thing he but a

tom-cat, and that she.

DECLENSION OF NOUNS SUBSTANTIVE. There are a pig

known by

is

his tail, so are declensions

by the ending

substantives distinguished genitive

case.

feelings

nf

quite so

Our

of outraging the comic

fear

much about them

as our love of learning to do.

We

therefore

refer the student to that clever little book, the

Latin Grammar,

strongly

decline the following exercise, after the

down.

a rod.

Tergum, a back us ei.

substantives,

manner

i.

by way

—

Third,

is,

to

of an

of the examples there

Puer, a boy.

an attorney.

Eton

recommending him

First declension, Genitivo

— Second,

curator,

of

of the

humanity, prevents us from saying

would otherwise induce us

set

As

five declensions of substantives.

ae.

Virga,

Stultus, a fool.

Vulpes, a fox.

Cliens, a client.

Pro-

— Fourth,

—here you may have, Risus, a laugh — Fifth, at.

Effigies,

an

effigy,

image, or Guy.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. The substantive

face, facies,

makes faces,

29 facies,

in the plural.

Although we are precluded from going through

we

the whole of the declensions,

cannot refrain from

proposing " for the use of schools," a model upon

which

all

substantives

may

somewhat more agreeable,

be declined in a mode if

not more instructive,

than that heretofore adopted.

Exempli Gratia.

Musa

muS(«,

The Gods were at tea, Musae musam. Eating raspberry jam,

Musa musa, Made by Cupid's mamma, Musee musarw/n,

Thou " Diva Dearum." Musis musa,?, Said Jove

to his lass,

Musffi

musw.

Can ambrosia

beat this

?

DECLENSIONS OF NOUNS ADJECTIVE. Some nouns terminations

adjective

are declined with three

— as a pacha of three c 3

tails

would be,

if

— !

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

30 he were

to

as bonus,

how

make

a proposal to an English heiress

—

good

forcibly they

Sweet

tener, tender.

epithets

remind us of young Love and a

leg of mutton.

Bonus, bona, bonum,

Thou

little

lambkin dumb,

Boni, bonse, boni.

For those sweet chops

I sigh.

Bono, bonae, bono^

Have

pity on

my

woe,

Bonum, bonam, bonum, Thou speak'st though thou

art

mum.

Bone, bona, bonum, "

O come

and eat me, come,"

Bono, bonae, bono.

The butcher

lays the low,

Boni, bonae, bona.

Those chops are a picture,

— ah

!

Bonorum, bonarum, bonorum,

To put Bonis

lots of

Tomata sauce

o'er

'em

—Don't, miss,

Bonos, bonas, bona.

Thou

art sweeter than thy

mamma,

Boni, bonse, bona.

And

fatter

Bonis,

than thy papa.

— What

bliss

!

In like manner decline tener^ tenera, tenerum.

;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Unus, one nullus,

none

two—make dative in

solus,

;

alone

totus,

;

alter, the other

;

uter,

;

31

the

whole

whether of the

the genitive case singular in ius and the

i.

RIDDLES. Q. In what case will a grain of barley joined to

an adjective stand

for the

name

of an animal

A. In the dative case of unus nimirum

TJni

tibi recte

semper erunt Hor. Sat.

Q.

Why

the above verse like

is

A. Because

The word

it is

The

another,

is

all

2.

106.

nature

]

declined like the

adjectives, except that

not Silium, in the

res.

lib. ii.

an wm'-verse.

alius,

above-named

?

— uni-corn.

it

makes

aliud,

neuter singular.

difference of unus from alius, say the

London

commentators, like that of a humming-top from a peg-top, consists of the 'um,

N.B. Tu

es unus

" You're another,"

pressed by "

Tu

ahus,

is

a phrase

quoque."

not good Latin for

more elegantly ex-

;

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

32

There are some

adjectives that remind

us of

lawyer's clerks, and, by courtesy, of linen-drapers' apprentices. tives

These may be termed articled adjec-

being declined with the articles

;

hie, haec,

hoc, after the third declension of substantives tristis,

It is

— as

sad, melior, better, felix, happy.

not very easy to conceive any thing in which

sadness and comicality are united, except Tristis

Amator, a sad

lover.

TRISTIS AMATOR.

Melior affords no

is

not better for comic purposes.

room

for

Felix

a happy joke.

Decline these three adjectives, and others of the

same

class,

If the

The

according to the following rules

nominative endeth in

is or er,

ablative singular endeth in

i,

why,

sir

sir.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. The

first,

make

m

plural

If than

—mark my song.

or to the nominative case doth belong

For the neuter aforesaid we

The

neuter

their

the plural in ia must be.

are the ablative's ends,

i,

While

case,

fifth

33

e,

But the same E; or

and

fourth,

;

;

-

is

is, er,

or a

;

and

settle it thus

:

the singular us.

or, it

hath

many more

enders,

The nominative serves to express the three genders But the plural for ia hath icia and itia.

As

Felix, felicia

— Dives,

divitia.

COMPARISONS OF ADJECTIVES. Comparisons are odious

—

Adjectives have three degrees of comparison.

This

is

perhaps the reason

why

they are so disa-

greeable to learn.

The

first

degree of comparison

is

the positive,

which denotes the quality of a thing absolutely. Thus, the Eton Latin

The second

is

Grammar

the comparative,

or lessensthe quality,

is lepidus,

formed by adding or

case of the positive ending in

i.

funny.

which increases

Thus

to the first

the Charter

—

House Grammar, is lepidor funnier, or more funny. The third is the superlative, which increases or

—

diminishes the signification to the greatest degree.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

34

formed from the same case by adding thereto,

is acutuS;,

most funny.

sharp, or 'cute,

sharper, or

more

Yankee

acutissimus

is

'cutest or

most

Enumerate,

A

more

— sharpest,

or

is

Londoner

— a Yorkshireman

sharp, 'cuter or

'cute

acutior,

—but a

most sharp,

'cute, or tarnation' cute.

manner

the

in

substantives, the exceptions in the

Grammar

Comic Latin

Thus the

ssimus.

lipidissimus, funniest, or

with

following,

to this rule,

mentioned

Eton Grammar. Optimus,

Melior, better.

Bonus, good,

A plain pudding. A

best.

A plum pudding.

suet pudding.

Malus, bad.

Pejor, worse.

Pessimus, worst.

A

A

A

caning.

spatting.

flogging.

&c. &c. Adjectives ending in errimus.

The

of verjuice

er,

form the superlative in

taste of vinegar is acer, sour

acrior,

more sour

tee-totaller, acerrimus,

;

;

that

the visage of

sourest, or

a

most sour.

Agilis, docilis, gracilis, facilis, humilis, similis,

change

is into llimus,

in the superlative degree.

— Madlle. Taglioni. — Jim Crow. Agillimus, most nimble. — Mr. Wieland. — Learned more — Ourang-outang. Agilis, nimble.

Agilior,

more nimble.

Docilis, docile.

Docilior,

Pig.

docile.

Docillimus, most docile.

Man

Friday.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Gracilis, slender.

— A whipping

post.

— A fashionable —A dustman's

more slender,

Gracilior,

35

Gracillimus, most slender.

waist. leg.

&c. &c. If a

vowel comes before us

in

the nominative

case of an adjective, the comparison

is

made by

magis, more, and maxime, most,

Dr. Cantvvell.

Pius, pious

Magis

pius,

Maxime

more

pious.

— Mr. Maw-worm. — Mr. Stiggins.

most pious.

pius,

Sancho Panza called DonQuixote,Quixottissimus. This was not good Latin, but

it

evinced a knowledge

on Sancho's part, of the nature of the superlative degree.

OP A PRONOUN.

A

pronoun

is

a substitute, or (as

we

once heard

a lady of the Malaprop family say), a subierjuge for

a noun.

There are

fifteen

Ego, I,

Pronouns.

tu,

thou,

ille,

and

Billy,

Is, sui, ipse,

Got very Iste, hie,

tipsy.

mens,

The governor

did not see us.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

36

Tuus, suus, noster,

We knock'd

down

a coster-

Vester, noster, vestras.

monger

To

these

may

for

daring to pester us.

be added,

egomet,

I

myself

;

tute,

thou thyself, idem the same, qui, who or what, and cujas, of

what country.

DECLENSION OP PRONOUNS. Pronouns concern ourselves so much, that we cannot altogether pass over them regard

Avith

declension

We

though a hint

mode of learning their we can here afford to give. are constrained now and then to leave out a good

two

or

;

is

to the

that

all

deal of valuable matter, for the reason that induced the Dublin the

manager

play of that

to

omit the part of Hamlet in

name

—the length of the perform-

ance.

Pronouns may be thus agreeably declined Ego, mei, mihi. Hoist the frog up sky-high.

Tu,

tui, tibi,

In Chancery they Ille,

ilia,

fib

illud.

Cows chew

the cud.

ye.

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Is, ea,

37

id,

Always do

as you're bid.

Qui, quae, quod.

Or

else you'll taste the rod.

Every donkey can

decline

is,

ea, id.

We

one the other day on Hampstead Heath,

heard repeat

distinctly

E —o

!

e

— a —o !

e

!

THE FIRST LESSON IN LATIN.

When

you decline quis quae quid, beware of any

temptation to indulge in dirty habits. pig-tail instead of

chewing

it.

Eschew

Never have any

quid in your mouth, but a quid pro quo.

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

38

OF A VERB.

A

verb

is

the chief

word

Suspendatur per collum,

let

in

every sentence, as

him be hanged by the

neck.

sum

sapiens,

thou art a

am a Non

I

fool.

don't lodge here,

Tu

wise man.

es stuhus,

you

hie amice, pernoctas,

Mr. Ferguson.

Verbs have two

was

Ego

expresses the action or being of a thing.

It

voices, like the gentleman

singing, a short time since,

who

James's

at the St.

Theatre.

The

active ending in o

The passive ending In these two words

summum bonum

— In

— as amo,

is

I

am

loved.

contained the terrestrial

short, love beats everything

cock-fighting not excepted.

happy every human

I love.

— as amor,

in or

being,

Amo

!

amor

!

How

from the peer to the

pot-boy, from the duchess to the dairy-maid, would

be

to

be able

to

say

so.

They would conjugate immediately. however, certain

modern

political

Except,

economists of the

Malthusian school, Avho, albeit they are great advothe

cates for

opposed

to

diffusion of learning,

Of verbs ending

A

verb

are

violently

unlimited conjugations.

is called

in o

some are actives

transitive

when

transitive.

the action passes

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. on I

to the following

cut

my

noun, as Seco baculuni

meum,

stick.

Numerous examples which

39

may

kind of

of this

cutting,

be called a comic section, are recorded

in history, both ancient

Even Hector

and modern.

cut his stick (with Achilles after him) at the siege

The Persians

of Troy.

Pompey Antony

cut at

stick

his

Actium.

cut their stick at Marathon.

and so did

at Pharsalia,

Napoleon Bonaparte cut

his

stick at Waterloo.

Other verbs ending in o are named neuters and

A

intransitives,

neuter,

when

verb

is

a following noun, as curro,

But

Pistol ran.

eum

per,""

called

intransitive,

to

I

run.

Pistol cucurrit,

say, " Falstaff voluit currere

him through,

Falstaff wished to run

would be making a neuter verb, a verb

and would cucurrit

pax,

active,

therefore be Latin of the canine species,

Mens homo Gulielmus caput suum plenum sed contra te homo die

Dog- Latin;

or

or

the action does not pass on, or require

so would

My man William ran his

the mantel-piece.

This,

it

is

head

full

but against

obvious, will not do

after Cicero.

Verbs

transitive ending in o

changing o into cut

by

or, as Secor, I

become passive by

am cut.

Csesar

was

his friend Brutus in the capitol. " This," as

Antony very judiciously

oliserved on the hustings,

" was the most unkindestcw^of D 2

all,"

— much worse,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

40

than any of the similar operations which

indeed,

are daily performed in Regent Street.

BRUTUS 4ND C^SAR.

intransitive are never

Verbs neuter and

We

passive.

may

cannot say, Crepor,

The

say, Crepo, I

am

I

have got

into a

we

cracked.

ancient heroes appear, from

says, to

made

crack, but

way

what Homer

of cracking

away most

tremendously when they were going to engage in single combat.

Orestes

Some

was

certainly cracked.

verbs ending in or have an active signi-

—as Loquor,

fication

I

speak.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Why

Q,

41

are such verbs like witnesses on oath

1

A. Because they are called " Deponents."

Of

some few are

these

neuters,

as Glorior,

I

boast.

saw, and over-

Caesar boasted that he came,

came.

Bald-headed people (like Caesar) do

make

in general,

Neuter Verbs ending

and verbs deponent,

in or,

are declined like verbs passive

and supines

not,

conquests so easily.

verbs active

like

but with gerunds

;

;

thus presenting a

curious combination of activity and supineness.

There are some verbs which are called verbs

A

personal.

verb personal resembles a mixed

group of old maids and young maids, because has different persons, as irrides,

A

Ego

it

Tu

thou quizzest.

verb impersonal

is

persons, as taedat, It irketh to learn

behoveth

to

do

it

tomb-

like a collection of

stone angels, or small children

it

I quiz.

irrideo,

it

;

has not different

irketh, oportet,

Greek and

it

behoveth.

Latin, nevertheless

so.

OF MOODS. Moods

in verbs

are like

moods

in

man

have each of them a peculiar expressio7i. D

3

,

they

Here,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

42

Man

however, the resemblance stops. moods,

observe in (or

have but

verbs

men

many we

has

For instance,

five.

the merry mood, the doleful mood,

dumps), the shy, timid, or sheepish mood, the or bumptious

bold,

mood, the placid mood, the

may

angry mood, whereto

be added the vindictive

mood, and the sulky mood; the sober mood, as from

contradistinguished

mood

drunken

the

in

drunk

mood—the

bling

mood

mood, the

or

;

which case

latter,

;

both the

it

blended with the

as

may

be called the sober-

contented mood,

the sympathetic mood,

idle

and

serious

the

grum-

the sarcastic

mood, the working mood, the com-

municative mood, the secretive mood, and the moods of all the phrenological organs

tory or mentorial

;

besides the moni-

mood, and the mendacious, or

lying mood, with the imaginative, poetical,

or ro-

mantic mood, the compassionate, or melting mood,

and many other moods too tedious

We

to

must not however omit the

mention. flirting

mood,

the teazing or tantalizing mood, the giggling mood,

the

magging

or talkative mood,

and the scandalizing

mood, which are peculiarly observable inthefair sex.

The moods of verbs are the following 1. The indicative mood, which either affirms a :

or asks a question, as tu

?

Dost thou love

?

Ego amo,

I

do love.

fact

Amas

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. The long and in these

43

short of all courtships are contained

two examples.

A LONG COlRTSMiP.

2.

The imperative mood, which commandeth,

entreateth.

rative mood is often command being on the

exemplified in schools, the part of the master, and the

entreaty on that of the boy

Come

hither

rative

mood

the

!

Parce mihi is

also

Hurrah

vacation.

Eja

!

— as

!

Veni hue

thus,

Spare me

known by

well-known verse "

"

or

This two-fold character of the impe-

!

the sign

in the song

Dulce

—as

let

in

Domum

nunc eamus."

—

now let us be off' meaning N.B. This mood is one much !

!

The impe-

for the

in the

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

44

mouth of beadles, boatswains, bashaws, majors, magistrates, jeants, nitors,

and

ser-

superintendents,

drivers,

slave

jacks-in-office of all descriptions—mo-

especially,

and prefects of public schools,

are very fond of using

on

it

all

occasions.

THE IMPERATIVE MOOD.

3.

The

The

potential

signs

mood

by which

it

signifies

is

known

power

may, can,

—

Amem,

might, would, could, should, or ought

may

love (when

have loved 4.

(if I

indefinite

as,

I

Heave school). Amivissem,! should had not known better,) and the like.

The subjunctive

in being

or duty.

are,

differs

from the potential only

always governed by some conjunction or word, and in being subjoined

other verb going before

Cochleare eram

it

in the

cum amarem,

I

to

some

same sentence

— as

was a spoon when

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. I

loved

don't

— Nescio

45

qualis sim hoc ipso tempore,

know what

person

sort of a

I

am

I

at this very

time.

the above expression " cochle-

The propriety of

are," will be explained in a toric,

5.

which perhaps

The

because

is like

made up our minds

not

compare

ness," which

it

young

rivals.

Neither has indeed, has

it

it

men-

" picture of ugli-

ladies generally call their suc-

may

It

or both, because

whe-

exactly,

to the " picture of nobody"

tioned in the Tempest, or to the

cessful

a gentleman's cab,

has no number.

We have ther to

mood

infinitive

it

Comic System of Rhe-

appear hereafter.

ma)""

be like one, or the other,

has no person.

it

a nominative case before

it

;

nor,

any more business with one than a

toad has with a side pocket. It is

commonly known by

example

— Amare,

Nubere,

marry

to

to love ;

;

the sign

As,

to.

Desipere, to be a

for

fool

;

Poenitere, to repent.

OF GERUNDS AND SUPINES. Ever anxious youthful minds, sible of the

to

by

encourage the

expansion of

as general a cultivation as pos-

various faculties,

we beg

attention to the following combination of

Poetry, and Music.

to

invite

Grammar,

— — ;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

46

^tV.— Believe me

those endearing young charms.— Moore.

if all

The gerunds of verbs end

in di, do,

and dum,

But the supines of verbs are but two For instance, the active, which endeth in um, ;

And

the passive

Amandi, of

Amando,

Amandum,

which endeth

loving, kind reader,

to love, if

Amatum, Amatu,

May

it

beware

you

to love

be your

'r

all

doom'd, have a care, your

grief.

and be loved,

felicitous (?) lot.

the fuel so needful be never

Which

;

in loving, be brief

In the goblet to drown

Should

in u.

removed

serves to keep boiling the pot.

OF TENSES. In verbs there are five tenses, or times, express-

ing an action, or affirmation. 1.

The

(or tense) like the present.

now

taking place.

loving.

Amo,

drunk, or 2.

There

present tense, or time.

The

am

I

It

Examples

am

drunk.

loving.

no time

expresses an action Act.

Pass.

Inebrior, I

preterimperfect

is

tense

am

am am made

I love, or I

drunk.

denotes

some-

thing, or a state of things, partly, but not entirely

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Examp.

past

bam,

was

I

The

3.

was loving. Amawas made drunk an hour

did love or

I

loving.

Inebriabar,

ago.

I

I

was made drunk.

preterperfect tense

I

loved.

drunk,

or

expresses

a thing

—

now ended. -Examp. I have loved, Amavi, I loved. I have been made

lately done, but

or

47

have been drunk.

Inebriatus sum,

I

have been drunk. 4.

The

preterpluperfect tense refers to a thing

done at some time past, but now ended.

Amaveram,

I

had loved.

— Examp.

Inebriatus eram,

I

had

been drunk. 5.

The

future tense relates to a thing to be done

Amabo,

hereafter, as,

abor,

I shall

love

I shall or Avill

get drunk

Inebri-

— say to-morrow.

OF NUMBERS AND PERSONS. Verbs have two numbers. No.

1,

Singular, No.

2, Plural.

In most matters tion to

ever,

—The

number it is

usual to pay exclusive atten-

it is

one.

In learning the verbs, how-

necessary to regard equally number two.

persons of verbs are generally considered

very disagreeable.

each number.

academy

Verbs have three persons

Thus,

for

instance,

at a

in

dancing

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

48

Ego salto, Tu saltas,

Sing.

Plur.

I

dance,

Thou

dancest.

Ille

saltat,

He

Nos Vos

saltamus,

We dance, Ye

saltatis,

dance,

They dance.

saltant,

Illi

danceth.

At an academy on Free-knowledge-ical or a Comic Academy.

ples

princi-

—

Ego Tu

rideo,

I

rides,

Thou

lUe

ridet,

He

Laughter,

Ye

is

laugh,

laugh,

They

rident, too,

laughest,

laugheth.

"We

Nos ridemus, Vos ridetis, Illi

laugh,

very

common

mies, but generally occurs on the

mouth.

The

presumed

to

laugh. at other acade-

wrong

side of the

may

be

be on the right side of the mouth),

is

right sort of laughter (which

most frequent about the time of the holidays. does the song say

What

1

" Ridet annus, prata rident

Nosque rideamus." " The year laughs, the meadows laugh, pose

we have a

Note

—That

—sup-

laugh as well." all

nouns are of the third person

except Ego, Nos, Tu,

and Vos.

Hence we

see

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

how absurdly

the

man who drew a couple

acted in endeavouring to prevail

We

the picture "

Three"

have been qualified

of donke} s

upon us

Ille, he,

make

to

49

to

call

— may, perhaps,

a third person in

tlie

group, and have " written himself

down an

with some correctness.

and Nos, we,

have certainly nothing and

to

it is

Ego,

in

I,

common with

ass"

that animal,

be hoped that neither Tu, thou, nor Vos,

ye, can be said to partake of his nature.

Note

also.

That

all

nouns of the vocative case

So

are of the second person.

O

say,

asine,

we

donkeys,

O

thou donkey

should have

;

that if

O

or

we

should

O

ye

least

on

asini,

grammar

at

our side.

Be

it

your care

to

prevent us from having justice

also.

Of the Verb Esse, to Before other verbs are declined, to learn

the verb Esse,

It

is

necessary

be.

And

it is

necessary

to

teach the verb Esse, to be,

be.

we make

before to

a few remarks on verbs in general. In the are

first

place

we have

to

observe, that they

rather difficult; and in the next, that if

one expects that we are going detail,

he

is

very

much

to consider

any

them

in

mistaken.

But our skipping a very considerable portion of the verbs,

is

no reason

why E

boys should do the

—

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

50

Were we

same.

attending

instead of

teachers,

where would be the world by society of

among

Avhich

the

precepts,

from the respect-

far

and

neighbouring planets,

the

blundering about right and skelter

their

to

this time ?

Whirling away, no doubt, able

examples of our

follow the

all to

fixed

pell-mell, helter-

left,

stars

—

itself,

" and

all

inherit" in that glorious state of confusion

it

so admirably described

by

Ovid

the poet

" Quern dixere Chaos,"

which men have called Shaos. be

little

would indeed

It

better than a broken down Sha}/-hovse.

But " revenons a nos moutons," that is, let us We recommend the most get back to our verbs. and

attentive forth in

of association

proceed

Sum, that

is

them as

diligent study of all of

set

the Eton Grammar, assisted by that kind

to

of ideas,

we

of which

shall

now

give a few specimens.

es, fui, esse, futurus, to be,

— or not

to

be

the question.

Rule

1.

To each person

plural, join a noun,

of a verb,

singular and

according to your taste or comic

talent.

Should you be deficient

faculty,

apply

for assistance to

in the inventive

one of the senior

boys, which, in consideration of your fagging for

him, he will readily give you. boy, apply to the master.

If yourself a senior

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

51

Examples.

Indicative Mood. Present Tense.

Am,

Sing.

Sum,

I

Es,

Thou

Est,

He

am, art,

is,

Vir,

a man,

Stultus,

a

fool,

Latro,

a

thief.

Plu.

Sumus,

We are,

Patricii,

Estis,

Ye

Plebeii,

Sunt,

They

We would we

are,

are, Errones,

proceed in this

gentlemen. snobs,

vagabonds.

way with Sum,

but that

are afraid of being tire-swm.

Verbs Regular. Amo. First Conjugation. Sing.

Amo, Amas,

I love,

Puellam, a

Thou

Fartum,

Amat,

He

lovest,

loveth,

lass,

a pudding,

Carnem porcinam,

pork.

Plu.

Amamus,

We love,

Doctrinam,

Amatis,

Ye

Leporem,

Amant,

They

love,

love, Poesin,

The consideration of which Rule 2. In repeating verbs,

learning.

comicality, poetry.

three things leads us to

the different

tenses

be careful to be provided with a short

e2

of

Eng-

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

52 lish verse,

person

contrived so as to rhyme with the third

singular,

and another

third person plural.

In this

rhyme with

to

the

way your powers

of

composition as well as of memory will be profitably exercised.

Example. Second Conjugation.

Moneo.

Moneo, mones, monet.

Sing.

Reid

&

Co.'s

heavy wet.

Monemus, monetis, monent.

Plu.

Beats that from the firmament.

Third Conjugation.

Rego,

Sing.

A statesman Regimus,

Plu.

Is

Hule lish

3.

Rego.

regis, regit,

much

for office unfit,

regitis, reguni,

like a

bear in a punt.

Should you be desired

to give the

of each person in the tense which

repeating,

Eng-

you are

you may (we mean a class of you),

fol-

low a plan adopted with great success and striking eflfect

tled

in that

"

kind of dramatic representation enti-

A

Grand Opera," that of singing what you sar/. Hold up your head, turn out your

have

to

toes,

clear

your voices, and begin.

A-hem

!

J

iO

ROUGH THE

!

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

53

Audio.

Fourth Conjugation. Trio.

Sing.

Audio,

I

hear the Tartar drum

!

Audis, Thou hearest the Tartar drum Audit,

Tartar drum Chorus.

He He

!

hears

the Tar

Verbs Irregular Are regular

drum

drum

- tar

!

We hear the Tartar drum, &c.

Audimus,

Plu.

the Tartar

!

hears

h--e---a--rs

He

!

He hears the Tartar drum —the !

—

The above Rules

bores.

are

equally

applicable to them, and also to the

Defective Verbs Concerning which almost fect,

all

it

may

;

be asserted, that though

more

of them have tenses

or less imper-

there are some which have not a single Im-

perfect Tense.

Impersonal Verbs. Such as

delectat,

&c.,

answer

Avord

it

to

it

delighteth

;

decet,

it

becometh,

such English verbs as take the

before them.

When we E 3

consider that

it is

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

54

a term of endearment used in speaking to babies, as " it's a pretty dear," we cannot help thinking

PRETTY DEAR.

that Verbs Impersonal ought

however,

is not,

as far as

to

be pet verbs. Such

we know,

the fact.

OP A PARTICIPLE.

A

participle is a hybrid part of speech

of mongrel-cross, is

composition

in

may

and about London, which

noun belonging

and declension nification.

;

;

It

wherefore

be likened unto the milk sold is

the proportion of four to two.

the

a kind

between a noun and a verb.

two parts verbs, and four parts noun

its

;

to

it,

are,

usually watered in

The

properties of

number, gender, case,

those of the verb, tense,

and

sig-

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

As

55

a horse hath four legs, so hath a verb four

participles. Air.

There

one of the present,

's

There

Of the

A

's

— and then,

one of the future in rus

tense preterperfect a third,

;

—and

again,

fourth of the future in dus.

Participles are

—but

—Bonnets of Blue.

declined like nouns

adjective,

how can we ask our fair a-mans (amans) loving. decline readers to Now here we feel called upon to say as

no

(blue)

!

few

a

words on the difference between a man's loving and a woman's loving. It has often been a queswhether do

tion,

To us

the matter

We

doubt. in

love

for

men

or

women

and

1

does not appear to admit of a

defy any of our male readers to be

(when they are

old

and

silly

enough)

six months without finding themselves most

grievously out of pocket.

was

love most dearly

We

have a friend who

in that unfortunate condition for about a it

cost

him

month,

at least seven and sixpence a

week

maid servant, and that without once being enabled to exchange a word with the object At last he began to think that of his affections. in fees to the

he was paying rather too dear he gave long,

and

it

up.

What

laid out so

girl

for his whistle

;

would have held on

much money without

a return

so so

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

5Q

not of soft affection, but of hard cash

?

Women,

indeed, instead of loving dearly, love, according to

our

own

experience, particularly cheaply. Think of

what they save, by taking ping" with them, to

like,

their admirers " shop-

ribands, bracelets,

in

and the

say nothing of coach-hire, pastry-cooks,

and the price of admission, when they go with them

And we

to the play.

young lady

hand

at

who

any thing

she could help

should like to hear of the

in these

it

less

days would dispose of her

than a good round sum

—

To

no, no.

love dearly

precious prerogative of the lords of the

if

the

is

creation

alone.

But we are

The

forgetting our participles.

participle of the present tense ends in a7is,

or ens; as Flagellans,

That of the future design

or

whipping; Laedens, hurting.

in rus,

signifies

a likelihood,

of doing something, as Flagellaturus,

about to whip

Lsesurus,

;

about to hurt.

That of the preterperfect tense has generally a passive signification, and ends in zts, as Flagella -

tus,

whipped

That

;

Lsesus, hurt.

of the future in dus has also a passive sig-

nification,

as Flagellandus, to be whipped

;

hse-

dendus, to be hurt.

Note

1.

adjective.

All participles are declined like nouns

We

recommend

be declined like winking.

the above participles to

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. 2.

57

There are three things that are not hurt

whipping

—a

by-

a syllabub, and a cream.

top,

OF AN ADVERB. Convex and concave used

to increase or

spectacles are contrivances

diminish the magnitude of objects.

Adverbs are parts of speech used

to increase or

diminish the signification of words. Spectacles are joined to the bridge of the nose.

Adverbs are verbs.

joined

Bene, well

;

to

nouns adjective,

multum, much

;

male,

are adverbs.

Caesar Ca?sar

mulLum conturbavit indigenas much astonished the natives.

fyESVK AST0NI3III>0 THE NATIVES.

:

ill,

and &c.

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

58

OF A CONJUNCTION.

A

conjunction

is

wherefore

together

;

things

for instance

To it

to

;

a part of speech that joineth it

glue, to paste, to

joins words

Roman

cially),

to

may

be hkened unto

gum

arabic, to mortar, (for

and sentences together

many

like bricks),

cement, (Laiin conjunctions more espe-

white of egg, to isinglass, to putty,

to

adhesive plaster, to matrimony.

Conjunctions are thus used.

Ova

ei

lardum,

eggs

Dimidium

and bacon.

dimidium^we, half-and-half. love and madness.

IIAUFANU-HALF.

Amor

et

dementia,

—

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

59

OF A PREPOSITION.

A

Preposition

a part of speech commonly set

is

Words, however, do not

before another word.

men have been known

each other, though words.

Ab,

eat

to eat

ad, ante, &c. prepositions.

Sometimes a preposition

is

joined in composition

with another word, as jorostratus, knocked down floored.

Tullius ab aquario ^rostratus est

Tully was knocked down by a waterman.

OF AN INTERJECTION.

An

interjection is a

emotion

or

Lack-a-day

Euge

!

We

Hem

!

Tite,

Bravo

here

find

lightful subject

we

shall

make

Hei

Oh

!

Brute,

!

!

word expressing a sudden

as

feeling,

dear

Hollo

!

!

— Heu

Titus.

ourselves approaching the

short work,

first,

for fear of further

Accidence, and, secondly, because

the

Eton Grammar

should be obliged to

make

However, there are mentioned.

de-

of the three Concords, with which

we

are no fonder

than boys are of repetitions, which, were follow

!

Brutus.

in

in the

we

the Concords,

to

we

Syntax.

just one or

two points

to

be

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAK.

60

Ask

"

copy-books.)

(Text-hand

Rule.

no

questions."

When

Exception.

you want

to

where the

find

concord should be, ask the following

Who

what

or

]

1

—

to find the

nominative case

to

the verb.

Whom tive after

Who

]

]

or

what 1 with

the verb, for the accusa-

it.

or

what

with the adjective,

?

sub-

for the

stantive to the adjective.

Who

1

or

what

?

with the verb,

antecedent

for the

to the relative.

But remember,

who is

1

and what

that the use of the interrogatives

however

1

justifiable in

example, can be more ill-bred than are

We

you

]

to say.

Indeed, most questions are

by persons

who have

where they expect

to

demands whatever, Johnson, "

Why long."

is

it

is

a dog's

go

and the

?

to

]

but of said

mannered.

ill

as.

Has your used only

themselves

never asked

" Sir,"

for

Who

like,

do not speak of such expressions

mother sold her mangle

grammar,

What,

very impertinent in conversation.

all

unnecessary

the

great

Dr

uncivil to be continually asking. tail

short, or

why

is

a cow's

tail

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

61

OF THE GENDERS OF NOUNS, Coiiimonlj'

known by

the

name

of

" Propria Qiice Maribus.'"

As the

"

the " Propria Quae Maribus" is no joke, and

As

in Prsesenti" is too

much

we

of a joke,

must do with them as we did with the verbs. Singing a song

is

always esteemed a valid substi-

tute for telling a story

and the indulgence which

;

we would have extended

to

us in this respect,

is

that universally granted to civilized society.

Let the " Propria Quae Maribus" be turned

Air.-

— "Here

's

to the

maiden of bashful

fifteen.''

All names of the male kind you masculine

Ut

into

manner

a series of exercises, thus, or in like

call,

sunt (for example), Divorum,

Mars, Bacchus, Apollo, the deities

And

all,

Cato, Virgilius, virorum.

Latin

's

Oh how

a bore, and bothers I

wish that

my

me

lesson

sore,

was

o'er.

Fluviorum, ut Tibris, Orontes likewise,

Fine rivers in ocean that

And Mensium

—

lost are,

October an instance suppli

s

;

Ventorum, ut Libs, Notus, Auster. Latin

We

's

a bore, &c.

do not pretend that the mode of study here

recommended,

is

perfectly original.

The genuine

!

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

62

As

Propria Quae Maribus, and

in Preesenti, like the

writings of the most remote antiquity, consist of certain useful truths recorded in It

been

has

harmonious numbers.

among commentators,

a question

whether these interesting compositions were

mean

that derived from the

Virgil)

would

entertained

works of Homer and

incline us to the latter opinion,

however does not appear

to

more specimen

above style

in the

;

and we beg

be remembered, that in so doing,

wish

to detract in

Eton Grammar

;

might have introduced a

comicality into his work, while he

all

Otherwise the in Prsesenti !

send

Save

Ah

!

me

"As

we

think

more

little

was about

OF THE PRETERPERFECT TENSE, VERBS.

As Oh

it.

Sec.

— Preterperfect —

avi.

well done, lean, and lots of grav\-,

—how sweet

is

cream with apple-pie,

Juvi from juvo, secui from seco,

Could

n't I lie

OF

in Prcesenti.''''

lavo, lavi, nexo, nexui.

me

and

it

we have no

any way from the merit of the

illustrious poet in the

that he

one

give

shall

may

is,

which

have been generally

We

the schools.

in

origi-

Analogy (we

nally intended to be said or sung.

tipple,

more Gra?co

—

—

;

;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

From neco, necui, and mico, word Which micui makes, Oh roast goose, !

lovely bird

Plico which plicui gives.

Delightful grub

And

rub

frico, fricas, fricui, to

So domo,

And I

tono, domui, tonui

sono, sonui.

mean

Then

—Lead me —crepo, crepui

to

Sto

to

makes—forbidding

form

sound,

along (these verbs confound

to lie

—

too.

crack (as roasted chestnuts do,)

Ye gods) makes cubui, What viler object than Well

!

to the stake,

veto, vetui

Cubo,

!

make,

the hee^-siake

Which means

63

steti

do gives rightly dedi a coat that

's

seedy

^

has a predilection

let it if it likes, I've

no objection.

&c. &c. &c.

SYNTAXIS. or the Construction of

Q.

What

part of the

Grammar.

grammar resembles

indulgences sold in the middle ages

A.

the

?

Sin-iSLX.

The first Concord; The Nominative case and the Verb.

Where

there

is

much personality,

rally little concord.

f2

there

is

gene-

—

64

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

However, a verb personal agrees with its nominative case in number and person, as Sera nunquam est ad bonos mores via. The way to good manners is

never too

late.

Mind

that, brother

Jonathan.

AMEBICAN GENTLEMEN.

Nofe

—The above maxim

is

especially worthy of

the attention of neophytes in law and medicine the gods in the gallery, and of Members

The nominative

case of pronouns

is

;

of

oHhe House.

rarely expres-

sed, except for the sake of distinction or emphasis,

as

Tu es exquisitus, tu es, You 're a nice man, you

are.

^1

M

(L-

E W

«.;

';

L-

1'-

...

WIOLI.JTOS

V M

1

D

B

II

C SSE

f

MORES NOW SIN!

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Sometimes a sentence

is

Q5

the nominative case to

the verb, as

Ingeniias pugni didicisse fideliter artes,

Mollitos mores non sinit esse

viri.

The faithful study of the fistic art From mawkish softness guards a Briton's

Who

can doubt

it

?

But, besides,

say in praise of boxing.

In the

we have much

to

place,

a

first

To say nothing

classical accomplishment.

heart.

it is

of the

Olympic and Isthmian Games, which are of themselves suflScient proof of the elegant and fanciful tastes of the ancients; fact, that the

we need

only allude to the

Corinthians are universally celebrated

for their proficiency in this science.

Then, of

its

eminently social tendency, there can be no doubt.

What

can be more conducive

to

good fellowship,

and conviviality than the frequent tapping of claret, attendant both on its study and practice ? Nor can its

beneficial influence

question, seeing that

on the

its

fine arts

be called in

immediate object

And

us the use of our hands.

is to

teach

(which perhaps

is

the most pursuasive argument of

all),

it is

larly pleasing

who

besides their

well

to the

known admiration

devotedly attached

fair

sex,

of bravery, are, to a

particu-

woman,

to the ring.

Sometimes an adverb with a genitive case stands in the place of the nominative, as

F 3

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

66

Partim astutorum mordebantur, Part of the knowing ones were

We

bit.

must contend that the above

a racy

is

observation.

Exceptions to the Rule. Verbs

of the infinitive

member

that there is

an exception to the

—

to

we

—but

Re-

hold.

scarcely any rule without

axiom particularly applies

used

to

wish

it

did not

should not have had

)

much

so

beto

resume however

Verbs of the fore

this

We

Sjmtax.

cause then learn

and

;

mood

infinitive

mood

often

have

set be-

them an accusative case instead of a nomina-

tive; the conjunction quod,

or

being

ut,

left

out

as,

Annam

reginam aiunt occubuisse

They say

A

that

Queen Anne's

:

dead,

verb placed between two nominative cases of

different

numbers,

stacks of hay,

it

and agrees with

is

not like a donkey between two

makes choice it,

of one or the other,

as

Amygdalae amarae venenum

est,

Bitter almonds is poison.

We

have written the English beneath the Latin.

Perhaps

it

may be imagined

English beneath

us.

that

we

think good

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

A singular noun to

a plural verb

;

of multitude

is

67

sometimes joined

as

Pars puerorum philosophum secuti sunt, Part of the boys followed the philosopher.

And

so they

would now, particularly

if

they saw

one in costume.

Verbs impersonal have no nominative case before them, as Taedet

me Grammatices, lam weary of Grammar. I am quite sick of

Pertsesum est Syntaxeos, Syntax.

Mirificum visum est Socratem in gyrum saltan-

tem videre,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

68 It

seemed wonderful

Jim Crow.

to

behold Socrates jumping

;

:

the comic latin grammar.

69

Second concord. and the adjective. substantive The Adjectives, participles, and pronouns agree with the substantive in gender, number, and case, as

Vir exiguo conventui, sobrioque idoneus

A

nice

man

for

a small tea-party.

A

TEA SPOON.

The Spartans, probably, were men their aversion to

drunkenness being well known.

Observe how close the concord stantive and

nothing to there

is

it

adjective. ;

gender.

for,

The

ties

is

between sub-

of wedlock are

besides that in that

very often not a

impossible that

of this kind

man and

little

discord,

happy

state

it is ([uite

wife should ever agree

\\\

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

70

Sometimes a sentence supplies the place of a substantive

the

;

adjective

being placed in the

neuter gender, as

Audito reginam leones coenantes visisse It

being heard that

:

Her Majesty had gone

to see

the lions at supper.

Third Concord. The relative and the antecedent. The

relative

together

;

and antecedent

hit it off

very

Avell

they agree one with the other in gender,

number, and person, as

Qui plenos haurit cyathos, madidusque Ille

"

bonam

He who

quiescit,

degit vitam, moriturque facetus.

drinks plenty, and goes to bed mellow.

Lives as he ought

to do,

and dies a

jolly fellow."

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Horace

Avas the fellow for

this

71

kind of thing.

Cato must have been a regular Avet blanket.

Sometimes a sentence

is

placed for an ante-

cedent, as spiritu contento,

Heliogabalus,

viginti

quatuor

ostrearum demersit in alvum, quod Dandoni etiam longe antecellit.

Heliogabalus,

at

one breath,

swallowed two

dozen of oysters, which beats even Dando out and out.

HELIOGABALUS.

Many

A

of the ancients could swallow a good deal.

relative placed

different genders

with the

between two substantives of

and numbers, sometimes agrees

latter, as

Pueri tuentur ilium librum quae Latina

Gram-

matices et Comica dicitur.

Boys regard Latin

that book

Grammar.

which

is

called the

Comic

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

72

Sometimes a which

is

relative

agrees with the primitive,

understood in the possessive, as

Mirabantur impudentiam suam qui ad reginam literas misit.

They wondered If a

relative

at his

impudence, who wrote a

queen.

letter to the

nominative case be interposed between the

and the verb, the relative

the verb,

by some other word

or

is

governed by

whicfi

is

placed

in the sentence with the verb, as

Luciferi quos Prometheus surripuit,

numen contempsit, pertinebant. The Lucifers which Prometheus

ad Jovem

cujus

longed

to Jupiter,

In fact,

shirked,

be-

whose authority he despised.

Prometheus

made

light

of Jupiter's

liyhining.

We only

now take leave how pleasant it is

IT

'S

of the Concords, observing to see relatives agree.

PLEASANT TO SEE RELATIVES AGBEE.

: :

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Our next

subject

is

73

the

Construction of Nouns Substantive.

Which

not quite so amusing as the construc-

is

paper

tion of small boats,

or

kites, pinwheels, crackers,

any other mode of displaying the faculty of

" constructiveness"

—though

in one sense the con-

not unlike

struction of nouns substantive, is

the

construction oi puzzles.

When

two substantives of a

cation meet together, the latter

different is

signifi-

put in the geni-

tive case, as

Ulysses lumen Cyclopis extinxit

Ulysses doused the glim of the Cyclops. This genitive case

is

sometimes changed

into a

dative, as

Urbi pater

He

is

est,

urbique maritus.

the .father of the

city,

— Gram. Eton.

and the husband of

the city.

He

must have been a pretty

fellow,

whoever he

was.

An

adjective of the neuter gender, put without a

substantive, sometimes requires a genitive case, as

Paululum honestatis

sartori sufhcit

A very little honesty is enough for a tailor. A genitive case is sometimes placed alone preceding

substantive

being

figure ellipsis, as

G

;

the

understood by the

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

74

Ubi ad magistri veneris, cave verbum de porco When you are come to the master's (house), not :

a word about the pig.

The word of the

pig

a very general term, and

is

human

little

keep

things,

A

secret.

;

which

but also to denote a variety

sometimes necessary

it is

pedagogue now

way

which

in

another

cane, or putting cobbler's

— we mean

wax

rather little

or the garden

on the seat of learning

the master's stool.

rather a rat)

this, or

one of the

horse-hairs into the

so is insinuating

;

—

is

Robbing the larder

pigs in question. is

got there,

it

to

and then discovers a

pig-tail appended to his coat collar

the

used

race as resemble him in habits, ap-

pearance, or feelings of

is

animal so called, and such

not only the

to signify

A

pig

sort of

(or

sometimes smelt by the master on

is

taking his nightly walk though

when roast fowl, mince

pies,

the dormitories,

bread and cheese, shrub,

punch, &c. have been slyly smuggled into those places of repose.

Shirking

down town

pig, and the consequences thereof,

is

always a

in case

of dis-

covery, a great bore.

Considering that a secret that betraying one

is

a pig,

it is

singular

should be called letting the cat

out of the bag.

Two

substantives respecting the

put in the

same

case, as

same thing

are

-

!

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Telemachum, juvenem bonae

75

indolis,

Calypso

existimavit.

Calypso thought Telemachus a nice young man.

By

the way,

what a nice young man Virgil

makes out Marcellus

to

have been

Praise, dispraise, or the quality of a thing

is

placed in the ablative, and also in the genitive case

— as

Vir paucorum verborum

A man

magni appetitus

:

of few words and large appetite.

Paterfamilias.

A

et

Vir multis miseriis

father of a family.

The man

A

man

of

of most woes, however,

:

many

is

woes.

a hackney

coachman. Opus, need, and usus, need, require an ablative case, as

g2

;

;

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

76

Didoni marito opus erat

Dido had need of a husband. -^neae coena usus erat

-^neas had need of a dinner.

But opus appears

be sometimes placed like an

to

necessarius, necessary, as

adjective for

Regi Anthropophagoruin coquus opus

The King

est

of the Cannibal Islands wants a cook.

Which would chambre who

serve his purpose best dresses men,

— a valet-de-

a wit,

or

who

roasts

them?

The Construction of Nouns Adjectve. THE genitive CASE AFTER THE ADJECTIVE. Adjectives

memory,

fear,

which signify

desire,

and the contrary

to

knowledge,

these, require a

genitive case, as

Est natura vetularum obtrectationis avida

The nature

of old

women

This particularly applies

is

to old

fond of scandal.

maids.

delightful creatures now-a-days,

which

their propensity

As

those

not content with

being grey aspire to be actually blue ; help recommending to them a

:

we

cannot

kind of study, for

to cutting

up renders them

we mean Anatomy.

And

peculiarly

adapted;

since

on the foulest and most odious points

it

is

of character that they chiefly delight to dwell,

we

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. more especially suggest

to

them

Morbid Anatomy, as one which

77 pursuit of

the is

likely to be

attended both with gratification and success.

Mens tempestatum

A mind A

prsescia

foreknowing the weather. been

piece of sea-weed has often, heretofore,

used as a barometer this purposd"

but

;

it

only of late that

is

has been answered by a murphy.

Immemor

beneficii

Unmindful of a kindness.

The

sort of

that

which our master used

upon

us,

kindness one

likely to forget is

is least

when he was

say he conferred

to

inculcating

rod.

ever, that he

began at the wrong end.

Imperitus rerum

by

how-

:

Unacquainted with the world,

Much

learning

We cannot help thinking,

means of the

i.

e.

Not 'up

to snuff.'

controversy has been wasted in attempts to

determine the origin of the phrase " up to snuff."

Some have contended

that

it

was suggested by

well-know quality possessed by the

not to

say

was

this idea is far fetched,

derived from Snofe, or Snoffe, the

rogue

who

crusade or

;

snuff, of clearing

Others will have that the expression

head; but

absurd.

the

flourished about

the

name of a cunning time of the

first

so that " up to Snoffe" signified as clever,

knowing, as Snoffe

;

and was G 3

in

process of time

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

78

converted into " up to snuff." deserving of notice favour

is,

soundest

the proper

Dutch

is

though the only argument in

its

was

is

which connects

that

name Znoufe, which

in

vogue

Probably

discovery of tobacco.

view

in

ancient

it

with

High-

equivalent to Mercury, whose reputation

for astuteness

great.

is

that the phrase in question

long before the the

;

This opinion

Conf.

Wonk-Fum.

among

the ancients

Hookey- Walk, viii.

ii.

24. Cheek.

was exceedingly 13.

Hok. Pok.

Marin, passim, with

a host of commentators, ancient and modern.

Roscius timidus

Deorum

fuit

Roscius was afraid of the Gods. Adjectives ending in ax,

derived from

verbs,

also require a genitive case, as

Tempus edax rerum Time is the consumer of all things. Hence Time is sometimes figured as an alderman. Nouns partitive, nouns of number, nouns comparative and superlative, and certain adjectives put partitively,

require

also they take their

a genitive

gender

;

case,

from which

as

Utrum horum mavis accipe Take which of those two things you had :

rather.

So Queen Eleanor gave Fair Rosamond her choice between the dagger and the bowl of poison. to to

This,

our mind, would have been like choosing a tree

be hanged on.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Primus fidicinum

fuit

Orpheus

Orpheus was the

first

of fiddlers.

79

:

He is said to have charmed the hearts of broomstick^. Momus lepidissimus erat Deorum Momus was the funniest of the Gods. :

may have made Jupiter shake his Momus used to make liim shake his sides.

Other deities head.

Sequimur

We

sancte deorum

te,

O

follow thee,

sacred deity.

Namely, the aforesaid Momus. heathen god that rence

we

ever have sacrificed to at

commonly made

He

the

is

only-

much revethat we should only one The offering most all.

should have had

and certainly the

for,

:

god of laughter was, pro-

to the

bably, a sacrifice of propriety. also used with these

But the above nouns are

prepositions, a, ab, de, e, ex, inter, ante inter philosophos

Primus

Democritus

And why

1

was who

first

laughing

first

and comicality the

the

Democritus

as,

;

:

amongst philosophers.

Because he alone was wise enough

find out that it

is

est

is

proved

are, in fact,

world that philosophy

one science

more we learn the more we laugh.

was he

whether

it

remark,

that

man

except the hyaena.

or is

He

better than crying.

to the

Aristotle the

to

only

;

and that

We

forget

who made

the

laughing animal

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

80

Secundus sometimes requires a dative case, as

Haud

ulli

Inferior to

veterum virtute secundus none of the ancients

Surely Virgil in saying

this,

in valour.

had an eye

whose fame has been perpetuated

:

a hero,

to

in the verses of

a later poet.

"

Some talk of Alexander, and some of Pericles, Of Conon and Lysander, and Alcibiades ;

But of

all

the gallant heroes,

there

's

none

for

to

compare,

With my

ri-fol-de-riddle-iddle-lol to the British

grenadier

An to

it,

!"

and the word which answers

interrogative, shall be of the

words of a

same case and

different construction

Quarum rerum Of what thinojs

except

be made use of

nulla est satietas? is

tense,

there no fulness

;

Pomorum. ?

Of

fruit.

as

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR, Dr. Johnson used

to

81

say that he never got as

much

wall fruit as he could eat.

-J^Ulnilui.il.nirulHlST

The Dative Case after the Adjective. Adjectives by which advantage, disadvantage, likeness, unlikeness, pleasure, submission, orrelation to

any thing

is signified,

require a dative case

Astaci incocti patriae idonei sunt in pace

autem

cocti

in bello.

Raw peace

;

as

;

;

lobsters are serviceable to their country in

but boiled ones in war.

are nasty

Lobster's claws

things to get into.

The Corporation

of

London seemed very much

afraid of the Police clause.

One

of the reasons

why

called a lobster, probably

a soldier is,

is

sometimes

that the latter

is

a

marine animal. Balsenffi persimile

Very

like a whale.

Qui

color albus erat

The

colour

white.

nunc

est contrarius albo

which was white

is

now

:

contrary to

—

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

82

Some

people will swear white

ends

and a

;

man who

will

do

is

black

to

gain their

may

though he

this,

not always be

Jucundus amicis Pleasant is

to his friends

;

nevertheless frequently so to his constituents.

Hither are referred nouns compounded of the preposition con, as contubernalis, a comrade

a fellow

milito,

soldier,

You must

&c.

com-

;

con

all

such words attentively before you can construe well, or the co;isequence will be, that

considerably blown up,

Some

if

you

will be

not confoundedly flogged.

of these which signify similitude,

are also

joined to a genitive case, as

Par uncti fulminis

:

Like greased lightning.

The

familiarity of our transatlantic friends with the

nature of the electric discoveries

Was

the

down from example

of

fluid, is

Q.

which that philosopher drew

the clouds, of the kind mentioned in the

?

Communis, common free,

to the

countrymen Franklin.

their

lightning

no doubt owing

;

alienus, strange

;

immunis,

are joined to a genitive, dative, and also to

an ablative case, with a preposition, as

Aures longse communes asinorum sunt

Long

ears are

common

to asses.

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

Though musical

ears

are

We

not.

;

83

even doubt

whether they would have the slightest admiration for

^ray-ham.

Non

sunt

Tails are

Except tails

—

communes caudse hoininibus not common to men. and

coat-tails, shirt-tails, pig-tails,

to

which en-tails may perhaps

though these

Non

rats'-

also be added,

last are often cut off.

alienus a poculo cerevisiae

Not averse

:

a pot of beer.

to

We should think we were not

;

and should as soon

think of engaging in an unnatural

quarrel with

our bread and butter.

Natus, born

;

commodus, convenient

dus, inconvenient

utilis,

;

vehemens, earnest

;

useful

aptus,

fit,

;

;

incommo-

inutilis, useless

are sometimes also

joined to an accusative case with a preposition, as

Natus ad laqueum

Born

to

a halter.

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

84

Those who are reserved

for this

exalted destiny,

are said to enjoy a peculiar immunity from drownIs this the reason

ing.

set of rogues

why watermen

are such a

1

To prevent mistakes, it should be mentioned, that the watermen here meant are those who, by their

own

being

to

account, are so called from their office

shut the doors of hachiey coaches.

Verbal adjectives ending in

and

participles

made

require a dative case

;

hills,

taken passively, ending

adjectives

in

dus,

as

NuUi penetrabilis astro Penetrable by no star not fond of

acting ?

O O

the

;

—

venerande mihi Listen

!

te luget

by me

Listen, to be venerated

Olympus Olympic

bewails thee.

The Accusative Case after the Adjective. The measure in the

of quantity

is

put after adjectives,

accusative, the ablative, and the genitive

case, as

Anguis centum pedes longus

A

snake a hundred

Arbor gumnifera,

:

feet long.

quingentis pas-

alta mille et

sibus.

A

gum-tree a mile and a half high.

Aranea, lata pedum denum

A

spider ten feet broad.

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

An tives

accusative case

is

sometimes put

85

after adjec-

and participles, where the preposition secun-

dum, appears

be understood, as

to

Os humerosque Like

Some men their

asello similis

to a cod-fish as to his

:

head and shoulders.

are exceedingly like a cod-fish, as to

head and shoulders, and they often endeavour

to increase

possible,

natural resemblance as

this

by wearing

much

as

gills.

The Ablative Case after the Adjective. Adjectives which relate to plenty or want, sometimes require an ablative, sometimes a genitive case, as

Amor Love

et melle et felle est foecundissimus is

The honey

very

full

of love

Honey, however,

The

is

is

both of honey and

:

gall.

—we do not know exactly what.

Latin for love,astheIrishman said.

gall of love consists in

First.

Tight boots, in which

it is

often

necessary

a

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

86 to

do penance before our

Ladys window.

This

is

at all events very galling.

Secondly. In lover's sighs, to which

it

communi-

cates their peculiar bitterness.

Thirdly. Another very galling thing in

love

is

being cut out. Fourthly. Love is one of the passions treated of by Gall and Spurzheim. Adjectives and subsantives govern an ablative

manner

and the form,

cause

case, signifying the

the

or

of a thing, as

Demosthenes vociferatione raucus

erat

Demosthenes was hoarse with bawling.

Nomine grammaticus, re barbarus A grammarian in name in reality a barbarian. :

;

Like many of the old masters painters

— though

the brush

we

—perhaps Does

unnecessary

to

do not mean

would be better

it

brothers of the angle, to the rod.

— we

certainly allude to brothers of

on account of

the

reader twig

to call thern

their partiality ?

If so,

regard to the nature of the barbarity hinted

kind of barbarity which, though perpetrators to be race, connects

is

it

branch out into a discussion with

by no means

it

may

—

at'

proclaim

its

allied to the feline

them most decidedly with the canine

species.

Dignus, worthy

;

indignus, unworthy

;

prceditus.

— !

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. endued torris,

;

captus, disabled

banished

;

contentus, content

upon

fretus, relying

;

87 ex-

;

liber, free

;

;

with adjectives signifying price, require an ablative case, as

Leander dignus erat meliore

fato

Leander was worthy of a better Poor fellow

!

first to

:

fate.

be head over ears in love, and

then over head and ears in the sea

Shocking

!

What an heroic young man he must have been. What a duck, too, the fair Hero must have thought him as she watched him from her lonely tower, nearing her every moment,

arm

the

as he cleft with lusty

We

foaming herring-pond.

Hellespont

—but

What

no matter.

mean

a goose he

must have been considered by any one

happened

to

know

Leander went

man

last

!

who

else

of his nightly exploits

miserably he was gulled at

the

!

How

Never mind.

to the fishes for love,

many a

If

better

than he, has, before and since, gone, from the

same cause,

to the dogs.

Conscientia

procuratoris

solidis

sex,

denariis

octo, venale est:

A

lawyer's conscience

is

to

be sold

for six

and

eightpence.

Some of

these,

sometimes admit a genitive case, as

Carmina digna

deae

:

Verses worthy of a goddess.

H 2

—

;

88

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Whether

the following verses are worthy of a god-

we

dess or not,

were addressed being who,

if

shall not

one at

to

attempt to decide all

events

—

;

idolizing constitutes a goddess,

We

perhaps, be termed one.

Lines by a Fond Lover. Lovely maid, with rapture swelling, Should these pages meet thine eye. soft dispelling

Vacant memory heaves a

the rose, with fragrance weeping.

As

Trembles

So

sigh.

my

heart shall twine unsleeping,

Till

Though

canopies the grave

it

for

!

another's smiles requited,

Envious

Joy

wave,

to the tuneful

fate

my doom

should be

:

ever disunited,

Think, ah

!

think, at times on

me

!

Oft amid the spicy gloaming.

Where Fond Loves

the brakes their songs

affection silent to linger

instil.

roaming.

by the

rill

There when echo's voice consoling.

Hears

the nightingale complain,

a

may,

met with them

turning over the pages of an album.

Clouds of absence

they

at least to

in

!

!

!

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

89

my lips controlling, my soul in beauty's chain.

Gentle sighs

Bind

Oft in slumbers deep recesses, I

thy mirror'd image see

Fancy mocks I

would lavish

But how vain Hark,

I

Torture gilds

Now

for

;

the vain caresses

is

like

a bee

!

glittering sadness

hear distraction's knell

my

heart with madness

!

ever fare thee well

AN ALEDM AUTHOR.

It

would be interesting as well as instructive

to

settle the difference

between love verses and non-

sense verses,

were the proper place

if this

so.

But we are not yet come

shall

we

to the

Prosody

arrive there very soon unless

with the Syntax.

h3

for

we

doing :

nor

get on

::

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAU.

90

Comparatives,

by

be explained

require

than,

an ablative

Agamemnone velocior erat was a faster man than Agamemnon.

Achilles Achilles

men

F'asi

may

they

Avhen

word quam,

the

in

modern times are very apt

to

outrun

the constable.

Tanto, by so much, quanto, by

by

eo,

this,

by

this,

some other words which exceeding

how much,

and quo, by which signify

hoc,

with

the measure of

and natu, by

likewise setate, by age,

;

;

comparatives and super-

birth, are often joined to latives, as

Tanto deformissimus, quanto sapientissimus philosophorum.

By

much

so

by how must

the ugliest,

the wisest

of philosophers.

Such an one was Socrates. to

It is all

have a contemplative disposition

;

very well

but

it

need

not be accompanied by a contemplative nose.

Quo

plus habent, eo plus cupiunt

The more they have This

is

the more they want.

a curious fact in

school-boys,

considered

natural

the

in

history of

relation to roast

beef

and plum pudding.

Maximum I

whopped

cetate

virum

the oldest

in tota

man

Kentuckia contudi

in all

Kentucky,

;

—

:

:

the comic latin grammar,

91

The Construction of Pronouns. All those Avho would understand the construction of pronouns, should take care to be well versed in the distinction of

between

which often gives

becoming

sity of

meum

and tuum, ignorance

rise to the disagreeable

neces-

too intimately acquainted with

quod.

Mei, of me, of us, vestri,

of thee, sui, of himself, nostri,

tui,

(the genitive cases of their

of you,

primitives e^o,

tu,

&c.) are used

when a person

is

signified, as

Languet desiderio

He You

cannot give a more acceptable piece of infor-

mation than the above, fairer

Parsque

And

to

—

if

like

have

to

not to love, at least to pity.

tui lateat

corpore clausa meo.

a part of you

rather

The

any young lady.

and more amiable sex always

something

Or

tui

languishes for want of you.

may

it

may

lie

so lie

!

shut up

How

in

Eton Gram.

my

body.

forcibly a sucking

pig hanging up outside a pork-butcher's shop always recals this beautiful line of Ovid's to the

Mens, mine,

tuus, thine, suus, his

mind

!

own (Cockwhen

nice his'n, nosier, ours, vester, yours, are used

action, or the possession of a thing is signified

Qui bona quae non sunt sua furtim subripit,

Tempore quo

;

as

ille

capitur, carcere clausus erit

—

92

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Him

as prigs wot isn

Ven

he's cotch'd

'11

't

go

his'n, to pris'n.

These possessive pronouns,

and

noster,

cases,

—

vester, take after

ipsius,

of himself,

meus,

tuus,

siius,

them these genitive

solius,

of him

alone,

unius, of one, duormn, of two, trium, of three, &c.

omnium, of

all,

plurium,

of more, paucorum, of

few, cujusque, of every one, and also the genitive cases of participles, which are referred to the primitive

word understood

;

as

Meis unius impensis pocula sex exhausi I

drank six pots

We wonder that say

to

my own

:

cheek.

any one should have the face

to

so.

Sui and suus are reciprocal pronouns, that

is,

they have always relation to that which went before,

and was most

to

be noted in the sentence, as

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Jonathanus nimium admiratur se

93

:

Jonathan admires himself too much.

He

Parcit erroribus suis,

spares his

own

errors.

se derideas, Jona-

Magnopere Jonathanus rogat ne

than earnestly begs that you would not laugh at him. If

you

do, take care that

one of these

he does not blow you up

fine days.

These demonstrative pronouns, are thus distinguished

me

to

;

iste

him who

at a distance

In making

:

is

by you

from both of

game

hie,

iste,

and

ille

hie points out the nearest ille

;

him who

is

us.

we

of the Syntax,

regard them

as pointers.

When

hie and

ille

are referred to two things or

persons going before, hie generally relates to the latter,

ille to

the former, as

Richardus Thomasque suum de more bibebant,

Ebrius hie vappis, ebrius

Both Dick and

Tom

Tom

ille

away

caroused

mero

:

like swine,

drunk with swipes, and Dicky drunk with

wine.

The Construction

of Verbs.

The Nominative Case after the Verb. Verbs substantive, as sum, be,

fio, I

am made,

calling, as

nominor,

called, dicor,

I

am

existo, I I

I

am, forem,

am

;

am named,

said, vocor, I

I

might

verbs passive of appellor, I

am

called,

am

nun-

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

94 cupor, I

am

I

am named, and the like to them, as videor, am accounted, existimor, I am

seen, habeor, I

thought, have

same cases before and

the

after

then), as

Adeps viridis est summum bonum Green fat is the chief good. Even among the ancients, turtles were the emblems :

of love

;

which, next

always been the fact

first

very

proves,

to eating

object of

and drinking, has

human

satisfactorily,

their proficiency in the science of

pursuit. This

two things,

first,

gastronomy and, ;

secondly, their extreme susceptibility of the tender passion.

Pileus vocatur tegula

A

Likewise

hat

all

is

called a

tile.

verbs in a manner admit after them

an adjective, which agrees with the nominative case of the verb, in case, gender, and number, as

—

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Eton Gram.

Pii orant taciti.

The Is this a

si}'

95

pious pray silently.

rap at the Quakers

1

The Genitive Case after the Verb.

Sum

requires a genitive case as often as

nifies possession, duty, sign, or that to

any thing

which

it

sig-

relates

as

;

Quod rapidam trahit vEtatem pecus est Melibosi, The cattle wot drags the Age, fast coach, is Meliboeus's.

Alas

A^a

!

Age

that such an

of rail-roads

—

!

let

should be banished by the us hear the

Coachman's Lament. Air.

— " Oh give me but my Arab steed."

Farewell

my

ribbons, and, alack

Farewell

my

tidy drag

!

;

Mail-coach-men now have got the sack,

And

My

engineers the bag.

heart and whip alike are broke I've lost

That used

my

to cut

But could It is,

like

go

like

indeed, a bitter

cuj),

Thus

My

varmint team

away

bosom

A

to

n't

steam.

be sent to pot

boils at boiling

gallop or a trot.

smoke,

;

up

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

96

My

very brain with fury

's

rack'd,

That railways are the rage I'm sure you'll never find them

;

act,

Like our old English stage.

A I

man whose passion

's

crost, is sore,

Then pray excuse my^;e^ ne'er was overturn d before, But now am quite

;

upset.

These nominative cases are excepted from the above noster,

rule,

meum, mine, tuum, thine, suum, humanum, human,

our, vester, your,

luinum brutal, and the

like,

as

his,

bel-

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Non

est

tuum aviam

instruere

Don't teach your grandmother

Humanum It is

to get

:

—

to

suck eggs.

est inebriari.

human

a

97

frailty

—

or an amiable

weakness

drunk.

Lord Byron proves

it

to be

a

human

frailty.

" 3Ian being reasonable, must get drunk."

A

UEASONABLE CREATURE.

Another poet (anon.) proves one,

it

to

be an amiable

by establishing the analogy which

tween "

it

exists be-

and an intoxication of another kind

Love

Never

is like

lets

a dizziness,

a poor

man

go about his business."

Verbs of accusing, condemning, advising, acquitting, and the like, require a genitive case which signifies the

charge

;

as

Qui alterum accusat

probri,

cum ipsum

se intu-

eri oportet.

It is

fit

that he

who accuses another

should look into himself.

of dishonesty

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

98

maxim were acted up to, what we ever get to frame an indictment 1

If this

could

attorney

Furti damnatus, " ties menses" adeptus est

Beingcondemnedof theft, he had "three months."

We

do not see

much fun

thinking, however,

that

cannot help

" Three Months at Brix-

would form a taking

ton,"

We

in that.

(at least a thief-taking)

a novel.

title for

Admoneto magistrum squalidarum vestium Put the master That

is if

in

mind of

you want a

This genitive case

:

his seedy clothes.

(/ood dressing. is

sometimes changed into an

ablative, either with or without a preposition, as

Putavi de calendis

nendum I first

Aprilibus

te

esse

admo-

:

thought that you ought

to

be reminded of the

of April.

Young

reader

!

were you ever, on the above anni-

versary, sent to the cobbler's for pigeons' milk, and

dismissed with strap-oil for your pains?

Were

your domestic and alimentive affections ever sported with by the false intelligence that a

letter

home and a Or worse,

you below

large cake

were waiting

did some waggish,

for

1

but inconsiderate

friend ever send you a fool's-cap and a

stones

from

hamper of

1

Reader, of a more advanced age, were you ever

?

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

— but we cannot

go on

have been your slave sell

— Oh

— but

!

it

was

— we

might

you

cruel of

to

us in such a manner.

Uterque, both, nullus, none, ter,

Matilda

99

alter, the other,

neu-

neither of the two, alius, another, ambo, both,

and the superlative degree, are joined

verbs of

to

that kind only in the ablative case, as

an

Fratris,

me

accusas

trucidationis

asini,

Utroque, sed sceleris unius

]

:

Do you accuse me of killing my donkey 1 Of both but of one crime.

brother or

my

;

Satago,

to

be busy about a thing, misereor and

miseresco, to pity, require a genitive case, as

Qui

ducit

He who

uxorem rerum

satagit

marries a wife has his hands

full

of

business.

We

hear frequently of lovers being distracted.

Husbands are much more

O

tergi miserere

!

Oh

!

so.

mei non digna

have pity on

my

back,

ferentis

:

things

suffering

undeserved.

Reminiscor, to remember, obliviscor,

memini,

to

remember, recorder,

to

forget,

to

call

to

mind,

admit a genitive or accusative case, as Reminiscere nonarum Novembrium

Remember

No wonder

the fifth of

that so

:

November.

many squibs i2

are

let off

on

that

•'

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

100 day

!

considering the

;

with

political

feeling connected

it.

Hoc

te

When

How

spectantem this

particularly

women who are

me meminisse

precor

:

you see remember me. anxious

lovers,

and

all

all

young men

and

waiters and chamber-

maids, whether they are lovers or no, besides coach-

men and porters of all kinds, seem

A coachman lover

;

to

be rememhered.

in one respect especially resembles a

he always wishes to be remembered by his

fare. Potior, to gain, is joined either to a genitive or to

an ablative case, as Xantippe, marito subacto, femoralium potita

fiiit.

Xantippe, her husband being overcome, gained the breeches.

Terentius Thrace potitus est

:

Terence got a Tartar.

At least he said he did, when he who would n't let him come.

took the prisoner

The Dative Case after the Verb. All verbs govern a dative case of that thing to or for

which any thing

Diminuam I will

Eheu

Oh

!

is

tibi

gotten or taken away, as

caput

break your head.

mihi circulum ademit

dear, he has taken

away my hoop

!

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

What

a thing

it is

to

be a junior boy

Verbs of various kinds belong In the

first

101

!

to the

above

rule.

place verbs signifying advantage or dis-

advantage govern a dative case, as Judaei ad

The Jews

commodandum live to

Or accommodate Of these juvo,

nobis vivunt

accommodate

us to live

—which

us.

laedo delecto,

'

/

]

and some

others,

require an accusative case, as

Maritum quies plurimum juvat Rest very much delighteth a married man he can get

it.

— when

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

102

Verbs of comparing govern a dative

Ajacem " Surdo" componere I

"

was

compare Ajax

often accustomed to

Deaf un,"

case, as

ssepe solebam

—not because he was hard of

:

to the

hearing,

but hard in hitting.

Sometimes, however, they require an ablative

cum

with the preposition

case

accusative

with the

case

sometimes an

;

prepositions

ad and

inter, as

Comparo Pompeium cum gloho I

Pompey

is

Whether

may

nivali

:

compare Pompey with a snow-ball. called in the

it is

schools a proper name.

a proper name

be questioned.

It

may

for

a nigger or not,

also be doubted

whe-

ther a negro can ever rightly be called " snow-ball,"

except he be an ice

man

in

;

which case even

though he should be the knave of clubs,

it is

obvious

that he ought never to be black balled.

Si ad

pensum verberatio comparetur

If a flogging be

compared

to

nihil est

an imposition,

it is

nothing.

A

flogging

to the boy,

is

a fly-blow, or at least a ^ea-blow

and a task only

as imposition

is

a task

to the

to the

master

;

whereas

boy, and very often

a verse task.

Verbs of giving and of restoring govern a dative case, as

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

103

Learius unicuique filiarum dimidium coronse dedit

Lear gave

:

his daughters half-a-crown a-piece.

Hence we

are enabled to gain

great value of

money

some notion of

in the time

the

of the Ancient

Britons.

Verbs of promising and of paying govern a dative case; as

Menelaus Paridi fustuarium promisit

Menelaus promised Paris a drubbing.

'.'

Gubernatoris" est pendere sartoribus pecuniam

It is

the place of " the governor" to

Hence young men may to

be " in statu pupillari."

learn

how

pay

tailors.

desirable

it is

True, in that state of

:

104

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. they are somewhat under control, but the

felicity,

above example, and many others of a

like nature,

such restriction, compared

sufficiently prove, that to the responsibilities of

manhood,

is

but a minor

inconvenience.

Verbs of commanding and

telling

govern a dative

case, as

Alexander, vinosus, animis imperare non potuit

when drunk,

Alexander,

could not

command

his

temper.

Thus, in a state of beer, slaughter at least, Clitus.

We

he committed man-

by kilHng and slaying

his friend

could not resist the temptation to

we have

tion this fact, since, as

men-

so often laughed at

narration in those interesting compositions called

its

themes,

we

thought there must needs be something

very funny about remarked,

for

it.

the

Alexander the Great, be

it

special behoof of schoolboys,

furnishes an example of any virtue or vice descanted

on in any prose task or poem under the sun. Antonio dixit Augustus Lepidum veteratoreni fuisse.

Augustus

told

Antony

that

Lepidus

was

a

humbug.

We don't know exactly where this historical fact is

mentioned.

Lepidus

is

di

funny name.

Except, from the foregoing

rule, rego, to rule.

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

105

guberno, to govern, which have an accusative case

tempero and moderor, to

;

which have some-

rule,

times a dative, sometimes an accusative case

;

as

Luna regit ministros The moon rules the ministers. :

That

say,

is to

when

it is

at the full,

and resembles

a great 0.

Prseco pauperes gubernat

The beadle governs

Non semper

He

temperat ipse

sibi

does not always govern himself.

Non animos

He

:

the paupers.

mollit proprios, nee temperat iras

neither softens his

own mind,

:

nor tempers

his anger.

Ecce, Ducrow moderatur equos

Ducrow manages

Lo, Q.

Why

master

is

a

general

:

the horses.

officer

like

a writing-

?

A. Because he

is

a ruler of lines.

Verbs of trusting govern a dative Credite, focmineae,

case, as

committere

juvencs,

menti,

Nil nisi lene decet.

Believe me, young men, thing to

In lady.

it

is

a female mind but what

fact,

fit

to entrust no-

is soft.

soft nothings are fittest for the ear of a

—

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

106

Pomarius

poetae

non credit

The costermonger

How

wrong, therefore,

trusts not the poet. it

is

to

call

him a green

grocer.

Verbs of complying with and

of opposing govern

a dative case, as

Nunquam

A

obtemperat

tiro

hodiernus magistro

modern apprentice never obeys

:

his master.

Verbs of threatening and of being angry govern a dative case, as

Utrique latronum mortem est minitatus

He threatened By presenting a

to

both of the robbers,

pistol right

and

left

at each of

This when done by some well-disposed

them. sailor

death

:

in

a melodrame, constitutes a situation of

thrilling interest.

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Sum with its compounds,

107

except possum, governs

a dative case, as

Oculi nigri non semper sunt faciei ornamentum

Black eyes are not always an ornament

:

to the

face.

Verbs compoundedwith these adverbs, bene, well, satis,

enough, male,

ill,

and with these prepositions,

prse, ad, con, sub, ante, post, ob,

in,

inter,

for the

most part govern a dative case, as Saginatio multis hominibus benefacit

Cramming does good For instance, in

many men.

docs good to aldermen, especially

it

these days of reform, hy enlarging the Corpo-

ration. fits

to

Cramming,

medical men,

ents

or rather the effect of

who

again do good

by cramming them

also a species

of

in another

bene-

to their pati-

way.

cramming which

it,

is

There

is

found very

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

108

serviceable at the Universities,

by enabling

certain

students to pass in a crowd.

OH

!

niCRE

'S

In this respect however

A

C'MPLIMENT.

differs essentially

it

aldermanic cramming, which enhances the

from

difficulty

of such a feat in a very remarkable manner. Puellse, aliae aliis prselucere student

Girls endeavour to outshine one another.

And

yet they

make

light, as

much

as they can,

of

each others charms and accomplishments. Intempestive parum longe prospicienti Doctori adlusit.

'

"SottUi. 'C^of^-v^

•

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

He

joked unseasonably

on

the

109

short-sighted

Doctor.

Johnson was not so short-sighted as

be blind

to

to

a joke.

Not a few

of the verbs mentioned in the last rule,

sometimes change the dative into another case Praestat ingenio alius alium

One exceeds

the rest

;

as

another in ability.

Thus one boy learns Latin and Greek at

;

:

another learns slang.

construing, another

at

One

is

better than

a good hand

climbing.

Some boys

are peculiarly skilled at casting accounts, others in

casting stones.

Here we have a boy

of a small

appetite

and many words, there one of a large

appetite

and few words.

Sometimes precocious

talent is evinced for playing the fiddle,

K

sometimes

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

110

playing a stick

for

propensity

is

;

sometimes, again, a strong

discovered for playing the

boy makes verses, as

it

were,

by

This

fool.

inspiration

;

that

boy shows an equal capacity in making mouths.

The most

peculiar talent, however, and the one most

exclusive of all others, are

is that

of riding.

Those who

destined to attain great proficiency in this sci-

ence, can seldom

do any thing else

;

and usually

begin their career by being horsed at school. Est, for habeo to have, governs a dative case, as

Est mihi qui vestes custodit avunculus omnes I

have an uncle who takes care of

Suppetit,

it

Pauper enim non For he

all

my

clothes.

sufficeth, is like to this, as

is

est cui

not poor, to

rerum suppetit usus

whom

the

:

use of things

suffices.

The two

last

examples must suggest a rather

alarming idea to those who are accustomed pitiate the relation to

by relinquishing

whom we have just

their habits.

he can ever use one's things

?

to

pro-

alluded,

Is it possible that

We

recommend

this

query

to the serious consideration of theatrical per-

sons,

and

Sum

all

Avith

who

others

many

are addicted to spouting.

others admits a double dative

case, as

Exitio est avidis alvus pueris

The

belly

is

:

the destruction of greedy boys.

Particularly those of

Eton College.

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Sometimes mihi,

is

added

this dative case for

tibi,

or sibi,

Ill or also

the sake of elegance in expres-

sion, as

Cato suam

sibi

uxorem Hortensio vendidit

Cato sold his own wife

Some

say he only lent her.

to

Hortensius.

The

fact

most probably

is,

that the lady, being tired of her husband, wished

to

be

Bi-loan.

K 2

:

—

:

:

the comic latin grammar.

112

The Accusative Case after the Verb. Verbs

what kind soever, whether

transitive, of

active, deponent, or

Procuratorem

Avoid an

common, require an accusative

fugito,

nam

subdolus idem est

attorney, for the

same

is

a cunning

rogue.

Yet

the legal profession

are always

boasting

of

their deeds.

Verbs neuter have an accusative case of a

like

signification to themselves, as

Pomarii asinus duram servit servitutem

A coster-monger's donkey serves a hard servitude. A Sterne heart was once melted by

Poor animal

!

thy sufferings

— how

the gentle reader

then must they affect that of

?

There are some verbs which have an accusative case

by a

figure, as

Nee vox hominem Nor does your

sonat

voice sound like a

human

crea-

ture's.

This

may

be

said of boys

of various

kinds

a,9

pot-boys, butcher's boys, baker's boys, and other

boys who are in the habit of bawling down areas also

of several descriptions

of

The same some women, such

coach-men, watch-men, and dust-men.

may

likewise

be asserted of

;

men, as cab-men,

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

113

as apple-women, oyster-Avomen, fish-women,

match-women.

Here

children of both sexes,

may be

clerks,

foreigners

and the voices of parishand,

specified,

lastly,

whose names terminate

commonly

govern

of

many

in ini.

Verbs of asking, of teaching, of of concealing,

and

the singing of charity

also

clothing,

and

two accusative

cases, as

Ego docebo I'll teach

This speech

which

te,

adolescentule,

you your

lessons,

elicits that

young man.

exemplification of the

case which has been given

:

prelude to something

usually the

is

lectiones tuas

in

the

first

vocative

part of the

Grammar.

Some even

verbs of this kind have an accusative case

in the passive voice, as

Bis denos posceris versus de scoparum manubrio

You

are required to

make twenty

:

verses on a

broomstick.

Why

should not a broomstick form the subject of

a poetical effusion, when the material of the broom itself

is

so

often

ventive genius

used in schools

?

K 3

to stimulate

in-

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAK.

114

Nouns

appellative

are

commonly added with a

preposition to verbs which denote motion, as

templum non

Interea ad

Crinibus Iliades passis.

mean time

In the

sequae Palladis ibant

Virgil.

the Trojan

woman went

to the

temple of unfriendly Pallas with their hair about their ears.

How odd occasion

Here we take

they must have looked.

to

remind schoolboys never

to lose

an

to

any

which they

may

meet with in the course of their reading.

To

opportunity

word

a comic rendering

of giving

or phrase susceptible thereof,

say " crinibus passis",

would be

to give

Vir

lation.

is

translate

it

literally

efflare,

it

construed

man ; some

called hero,

— we propose

So dapes may be rendered

cove.

grub, or perhaps prog

animain

with dishevelled hair"

a very feeble and spiritless trans-

school-masters will have to

—"

;

aspera Juno, crusty Juno ;

to kick the bucket ; capere

to cut one's stick, or lucky ; confectus,

fraudatus,

choused ; contundere,

to

fugam,

knocked up

;

whop, &c. &c.

The Ablative Case after the Verb. Every verb admits an

ablative case, signifying

the instrument, or the cause,

or the

manner of an

action, as

Pulvere nitrato Catilina senatum subruere voluit Catiline wished to tiline

blow up the Parliament.

was a regular Guy.

:

Ca-

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

A noun

of price

115

put after some words

is

in the

ablative case, as

Ovidius

duobus

solidis

fibulas

siphonem ascen-

dere fecit

Ovid pawned his buckles for two shillings. The sipho was a tube, pipe, or spout, projecting

whom

from the shops of pawnbrokers, of

every reason

many

in ancient

where placed

Rome

Avunc Vili,

very

in order

be conveyed

to the

adytum

Vide Casaubon

Roman.

:

at a

low

rate,

magno,

little,

is

Into this sipho the pledges to

or secret recess of the dwelling.

de

there

believe that there were a great

to

for

paulo, for

little,

much, nimio,

minimo.

for too

for

much,

plurimo, for very much, dimidio, for half, duplo, for

twice as much, are often put by themselves, the

word, pretio, price, being understood, as Vili venit cibus caninus

Dog's meat

sold at a low rate.

is

These genitive cases put without substantives are excepted, tanti, for so much, quanti, for

how much,

pluris, for more, minoris, for less, quantivis, for as

much

as you please, tantidem, for just so much,

quantilibet,

how much

Non

for

what you

will,

quanticunque

for

soever, as

es tanti

:

You're no great shakes.

Flocci, of a lock of wool, nauci, of a nut-shell, nihili, of

nothing, assis, of a penny, pih, of a hair,

;

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

116

teruncii, of a farthing,

of tins,

Imjus,

added

are

very properly to verbs of esteeming, as

Nee verberationem cussionem I

pili aestiino

flocci

pendo, nee ferula per-

:

value a flogging a straw, nor do

don't

regard

I

a spatting a hair.

A

boy who can say

this,

must have a brazen

and an iron back, and be altogether a lad of

front,

viettle.

Verbs of abounding, of their

of loading, and

filling,

are joined to an ablative case, as

contraries,

Tauris abundat Hibernia Ireland aboundeth in bulls.

This circumstance rise to the

We the

it

most probably was which gave

Tales of the O'Hara family.

once heard a son of Erin,

operation

that that

while undergoing

of bleeding from

the arm,

remark

would be an easy way of cutting one's

throat.

Some

of these

sometimes

govern a genitive

case, as

Optime ostrearum implebantur

They had a

We

are

capital

blow out of oysters.

sorry to remark

that these are the only

native productions patronized by great people.

Fungor, to discharge, vescor, to live

fruor, to enjoy, utor, to use,

upon, dignor, to think one's self

tHE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. wottliy, muto, to

change, communico, to

nicate, supersedeo, to

117

commu-

pass by, are joined to an

ablative case, as

Qui

adipisci coenas optimas volet, leonis fungatur

officiis.

He who

shall desire to obtain excellent dinners,

should discharge the

office

In which case he will

come

Q.

Why

is

of a lion.

in for the " lion's share."

the lion of a party like one of the

grand sources of prejudice

Bacon

mentioned by Lord

]

A. Because he

is

the Idol of the den.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

118 Mereor,

deserve, with

to

well, satis, enough, male,

worse,

optime, very well,

joined to an

ablative

these adverbs, bene,

ill,

melius, better, pejus,

pessime, very

case with

is

ill,

preposition

the

de, as

De

libitinario

The

medicus bene meretur

:

doctor deserves well of the undertaker.

Notwithstanding

it

might at

first

sight appear, that

in furnishing funerals,

the doctor,

invades the

undertaker's province.

Some verbs

of receiving, of being distant, and

of taking away, are sometimes joined to a dative case, as

Augustus

eripuit mihi nitorem

:

Augustus has taken the shine out of me. M. Antony.

Last Dying Speech of

An

ablative case, taken absolutely,

is

added

to

some verbs, as Porcis volentibus Isetissime epulabimur

:

Please the pigs we'll have a jolly good dinner.

The pig had divine honours paid Greeks.

An

—

Jos. Scalig. de

it

by the ancient

Myst. Eleusin.

ablative case of the part affected, and

the poets an accusative

verbs,

to

case,

is

added

to

by

some

as

Qui animo

aegrotat,

eum

aera risum

moventem

ducere oportet.

He who ing gas.

is

sick in

mind should breathe

the laugh-

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Much

119

learned controversy has been expended in

endeavouring the exhalation

determine whether this gas was

to

by which

it

is

supposed that the

ancient Pythonesses were affected.

Rubet nasum His nose

Some

Candet genas

:

:

His cheeks are

is red.

pale.

of these words are used also with the geni-

tive case, as

Angitur animi juvenis

iste,

et

mundum

indig-

natur.

That young man

is

grieved in mind and disgusted

with the world.

Such a man

is

called

by the

ladies an interesting

young man.

Verbs Passive.

An

ablative case of the doer (but with the pre-

position a or ab going before), and sometimes also

a dative case,

is

added

to

verbs passive, as

Darius eleganter ab Alexandro victus est

Darius was elegantly licked by Alexander.

The

other cases continue to belong to verbs pas-

sive which belonged to

Titanes

laesae

active, as

majestatis accusati sunt

The Titans were

And

them as verbs

indicted for high treason.

being found guilty Avere quartered in a very

uncomfortable manner, as well as drawn by various

;

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

120 artists,

whose

skill

in execution

has been much

commended. Vapulo,

to

be beaten, veneo,

be prized,

to

made, tion,

to

to

be

sold, liceo,

be banished,

fio,

to

be

neuter passives, have a passive construc-

as

A

Eton Gram.

prseceptore vapulabis.

You It

exulo,

by the master.

will be beaten

appears to us that vapulo, to be beaten,

here at

all

is

events more susceptible of a passive

construction than a funny one.

Malo a cive

spoliari

quam ab

hoste venire.

Eton

Gram. I

had rather be stripped by a

citizen than

sold

by an enemy. The Romans were regularly sold by the enemy for once, when they had to go under the yoke.

Verbs of the Infinitive Mood. Verbs of the

infinitive

mood

are put after

verbs, participles, and adjectives, also

by

some

and substantives

the poets, as

Timotheus ursos saltare

fecit

Timotheus made the bears dance. This was done in ancient as

by playing

the

Pandean

it

is in

modern times,

pipes.

Inconcinnus erat cerni Telamonius Ajax

Ajax

(ut refer unt) vir

bonus

ire

minor

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

121

The Telamonian Ajax was a rum un to look at The lesser Ajax (as they say) a good un to go. The Grecians used to call Ajax senior, the fighting cock, and Ajax junior, the running cock. Verbs of the infinitive mood are sometimes placed alone by the figure ellipsis, as Siphonum de more oculis demittere fluctus ;

Dardanidae

:

The Trojans (began understood)

As

for

^neas

to

pipe their eyes.

he might have been a town crier.

Gerunds and Supines govern the cases of their own verbs, as EfFeror studio pulices industries videndi I

am

transported with the desire of seeing the

industrious fleas.

:

:

the comic latin grammar.

122

Gerunds. "

When

Dido found ^neas would not come,

She mourned Gerunds

in

genitive cases, stantives

in silence, di

and was Di-do-dum."

have the same construction as

and depend both on

certain sub-

and adjectives, as

Londinensem innatus amor civem urget edendi

An innate love of eating excites the London citizen. People are accustomed

to

utter a great deal of

cant about the intellectual poverty of civic magistrates,

and common councilmen

in general

;

but

it

must be allowed that those respectable individuals have often a great deal in them.

TUtlTl

Gerunds ablative,

in

and

»

ALDEKMANICUS.

do have the same construction with gerunds in

dum

with accusative

cases, as

Scribendi ratio conjuncta

The means

cum loquendo

est

of writing are joined with speaking.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

123

Some things are written precisely after the writer's way of speaking. We once, for example, saw the following notice posted in a gentleman's preserve.

Whear Thes

'as

Gins and Engens are Set on

Grouns

Varmint,

Any

for

the

Destruction

Of

trespassing Will be prossy-

Cuted a-cordin Too Law. Locus ad agendum amplissimus

A place It

may be

very honourable

to

:

plead

in.

questioned whether Cicero would have

said this of the

Old Bailey.

When necessity

is signified,

the gerund in duni

is

used without a preposition, the verb est being added,

Cavendum est ne deprensus sis You must take care you 're not

:

caught

out.

—

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

124

A piece

of advice of special importance to school-

boys on

many

shirking

down town

such as the following

occasions,

making

;

gunpowder behind the

;

devils, or letting off

yard

school, or in the

;

con-

ducting a foray or predatory excursion in gardens

and orchards

emulating Jupiter, a

;

la

in his attribute of Cloud-Compelling

Salmoneus,

—by blowing a

cloud, or to speak in the vernacular, indulging in a

cigar

hoisting a frog

;

;

tailing a

any other way acting contrary

dog or

to

the Animals' Friend Society

;

on the Hamiltonian system

furtivel}'

;

or in

cat,

the precepts of

learning to construe

denuding the

Cum

" budding honours."

birch-rods

of their

multis

quae nunc perscribere longum est.

aliis

Gerunds are

Ad

also changed into nouns adjective, as

faciendos versus molestum est

It is

a bore to

make

verses.

This being a self-evident proposition, enlarge upon

we

shall not

it.

The supine

in

um

and follows

signifies actively,

a verb expressing motion to a place, as

Spectatum veniunt, veniunt spectentur ut

They come selves

So

said,

opera at

or

to see,

may be

The supine

they come that they them-

in his time in

u

nouns adjective, as

:

seen.

sung the poet Ovid.

Rome

ipsae

Was

there an

?

signifies passively,

and follows

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Quod

olfactu foedum est,

That which

is foul to

idem

125 esu turpe

est et

be smelled,

:

also nasty to

is

be eaten.

Except venison,

onions,

Nouns

and cheese.

of time and Place. Time.

—

Tempus time. There is a story, mentioned (we quote from memory) by the learned Joe Miller;

of a fellow

who

seeing

scribed upon a clock, took

it

"Tempus Fugit" for the name of

in-

the

artificer.

who have

Persons

lived a

hngiime

are generally accounted saeje

;

in the world,

and are sometimes

considered to have had a good seasoning.

Nouns which commonly

signify a part of time are put

more

in the ablative case, as

Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit No mortal man is wise at all hours. The excuse

of a philosopher for getting married.

But nouns which signify the duration of time are commonly put in the accusative case, as

Pugna

inter

juvenem Curtium

et

Titum Sabinum

ires horas perduravit.

The

fight

between young Curtius and Sabine

Titus lasted three hours. It is

an error

to

suppose that

Roman

only water-mills and wind-mills.

l3

mills

The above

were mill

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

126

have been rather a " winder" though, and

mu'^t

must have

We

cost the combatants

say also

:

much pains.

in paucis diebus, in a

few days

:

de die, by day, de nocte, by night, &c,

A

upon the nouns of Time would, perhaps,

jest

somewhat

be

Space

timed

ill

we

:

hope, however, to have

one presently.

for

The Space of a Place. Tlie space of a place

and sometimes also

jam

Ceesar

put in the accusative,

is

in the ablative, as

passus processerat,

mille

summa

diligentia.

Csesar had diligence as a

now advanced a

—not

mile with the greatest

on the top of the vehicle so named,

young gentleman was once flogged

for saying.

Qui non abest a schola centenis millibus passuum, balatronem novi. I

know

a blackguard

who

is

not absent a hundred

miles from the school.

" Cantare et apponere" the

maxim we would

to sing

and apply,

is

here inculcate on our youth-

ful readers.

Every verb admits a

genitive case of the

of a city or town in which so that

it

be of the

first

of the singular number,

Quid Romfe faciam

What

shall I

do at

?

name

any thing takes place,

or second declension,

and

as

mentiri nescio

Rome ?

I

:

know not how

to lie.

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

What a bare-faced and bull story

is

127

perversion of the truth that cock

of Curtius jumping into the hole in

How the Romans managed to get

the forum.

from any body but the tailors

is to

credit

us a mystery.

These genitive cases, humi, on the ground, domi, at

home,

militisB,

in war, belli, in war,

follow the

construction of proper names, as

Parvi sunt

Arms

foris

are of

wisdom

anna

little

at

nisi est consilium

domi

worth abroad unless there be

home.

Cicero must have said this with a prospective eye to

Canada.

But plural is

put

if the

name

number

of a city or town shall be of the

only, or of the third declension,

Aiunt centum portas Thebis

They say

You

it

in the ablative case, as

fuisse

:

there were an hundred gates at Thebes.

needn't believe

it

unless you like.

Egregia Tibure facta videnda sunt Fine doings are Tlie

name

of a place

be seen at Tivoli.

to is

often put after verbs sig-

nifying motion to a place in the accusative case

without a preposition, as Concessi

Cantabrigiam ad

cultum I

went

After

to

this

capiendum ingenii

:

Cambridge

to

become a

fast

man.

manner we use domus, a house, and

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

128

rus, the country,

rusticated.

Going tates, in

Rus

as

Domum

jussus sum,

ire

missus eram,

was

I

sent home.

Cambridge sometimes necessi-

too fast at

two senses, a dose of country

The name

was

I

of a place

is

air.

sometimes added

verbs

to

signifying motion from a place, in the ablative case

without a proposition, as Arbitror te Virginia veteri venisse I

:

reckon you've come from old Virginny.

Verbs Impersonal. Verbs impersonal have no nominative

case, as

Scenas post tragicas multum juvat ire sub umbras After a tragedy

it is

very pleasant

to

:

go under the

Shades.

The worst are

of

these

" Shades"

is,

that

apt to get rather " too

now and then

people

much

in

the sun" there.

These impersonals, fert, it

concerns,

interest,

except these ablative sua,

it

are joined to

nostra, vestra,

cases

and

concerns, and re-

any genitive

cases,

feminine, mea,

tua,

cuja, as

Interest magistratiis tueri insulsos, animadvertere in acres. It

to

concerns the magistrate to defend the

flats

;

punish the sharps.

These genitive cases much,

quanti, of

also, are

added,

how much, magni,

tanti, of so

of

much,

— ;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. parvi, of

how much

quanticunque, of

little,

tantidem, of just so

much

;

129 soever,

as

Tanti refert honesta asrere

Of such consequence

By

this

course

is it to

do honest things.

you certainly render

of conduct,

yourself worthy of the protection of the magistrate

;

although whether you thereby constitute yourself a flat or not,

may true,

is

be said on both sides.

may

lead to being taken up

often leads to being taken in.

said to be the best policy.

Dishonesty, ;

Yet honesty

Policy

is

is in

fact that

;

is

the wig.

— of

—a

is

a branch of

Certain ivigs are retained at the head

by a good deal of policy

it

but then honesty

wisdom, and " wisdom" they say "

could adopt

Much

perhaps a doubtful question.

affairs.

perhaps the best they

throws considerable doubt

on the truth of the old maxim. Impersonal verbs which are put acquisitively, require a dative case

;

but those which are put

transitively an accusative, as

—— :

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

130

For

A rainistris nobis benefit We enjoy blessings from Ministers. instance — No — We cannot think

any

of

just at present.

Me juvat

per lunam errare, et " Isabellam''

cantare I like to

:

wander by moonlight, and sing

" Isabelle."

The connexion between interesting as

it

love and moonlight

is certain.

that the said planet has

We

more

passion than lovers are aAvare

But the preposition ad these verbs

—

to

is

as

shrewdly suspect

do with the tender

of.

is

peculiarly atMed to

attinet, it belongs,

pertinet,

it

per-

tains, spectat, it concerns, as

Spectat ad omnes bene vivere concerns

It

all to live

When they can afford it. An accusative case with these verbs impersonal it

—

a genitive

" Nihil "

My

me

it

is

put after

poenitet, it repents, taedet,

wearies, miseret, miserescit,

shames, piget,

:

well

it

pities, pudet,

grieves, as

poenitet hujus nasi"

—

Trist

:

Shahd

passive voice

may

be ele-

gantly taken for each person of both numbers say,

Thus

:

nose has been the making of me."

A verb impersonal of the is to

it

by

virtue of a case added to

statur is used for sto,

stas,

;

that

it.

stat,

stamus.

'

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. statis, stant. I

stand

;

Statur a me;

statur ab

illis

:

it is

it is

stood

stood

131

by me,

by them,

that

is,

or they

stand.

King George is

the Fourth's statue at King's Cross

a standing joke.

i

Manufaetorj/

I''

—

—

:

—

the comic latin grammar,

132

The Construction of Participles. Participles govern the cases of the verbs from

which they are derived, as Duplices tendens ad sidera palmas, Talia voce refert

Stretching forth his hands to heaven, he utters

such things.

This reminds us of the Italian opera.

A dative

case

is

sometimes added

of the passive voice, especially

to participles

when they end

in

dus, as Sollicito

A

nasus rutilans metuendus amanti est

fiery nose is to

Participles,

when they become nouns,

genitive case, as

:

be feared by an anxious lover. require a

—

—

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

133

Vectigalis appetens, lingua? profusus

Greedy

:

of rint, lavish of blarney.

Exosus, hating, perosus, utterly hating, perta?sus,

weary

of,

signifying actively, require an accu-

sative case, as

Philosophus exosus ad

A

philosopher hating

unam mulieres women in general, :

i. e.

a

Malthusian.

Exosus, hated, and perosus, hated

to death, sig-

nifying passively, are read with a dative case, as

Comoedi Sanctis exosi sunt

The comedians

We

mean

are hated

the saints.

the spiritual Quixotes, or Knights of the

Rueful Countenance. will

by

We

" calculate" that they

be the greatest patrons of

rail

roads,

con-

sidering their dislike to the stage.

Natus,

born,

prognatus,

born,

sprung,

satus,

cretus, descended, creatus, produced, ortus, risen, editus, brought forth, require an ablative case,

and

often v/ith a preposition, as

Tafhus, bonis prognatus parentibus, cerevisiam

baud tenuem de sese existimat

:

Taffy, sprung of good parents, thinks no small

beer of himself.

De

Britannis Antiquis se jactat cditum

He

boasts of being descended from the Ancient

Britons.

M

:

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

134 Q. like a

Why

is

the eldest son of a

Leviathan

King

of

England

?

A. Because he

the Prince of Wales.

is

The Co?<sTRrcTioN of Adverbs.

En

and ecce,

most commonly

to

adverbs of shoAving, are joined a nominative case, to an accu-

sative case but seldom, as

En Romanus

:

See the

Ecce Corinthium Modern Corinthians, we :

Roman

(q.

rum-un.)

Behold the Corinthian. fear,

know but little Greek,

except that of the ^gidiac, or St. Giles's dialect.

En

ecce, adverbs

and

most commonly

En

to

of upbraiding, are joined

an accusative case only, as

togam squamosam

Look

at his scaly toga

Ecce caudam

!

Twig

!

!

his tail

!

,^ (S r^^-^

'^^.A^^mf"

__

iLD

y^//////

O M £ ST "

1


NORV.«i»=

E L

ON

»

OC

U.f

S-U-.

CR'

—

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Certain adverbs of time,

place,

135

and quantity,

admit a genitive case, as

Ubi gentium

Where

We

est

Quadra Russelliana

world

in the

must confess that

?

Russell Square

is

?

this question is exquisitely

absurd.

Nihil tunc temporis amplius I could

Talking of weeping

— how

odd

when

tionate wife should cry

ported

quam

flere

poteram

do nothing more at that time than weep. it is

that an affec-

her husband

is

trans-

for life.

Satis eloquentiae, sapientiae

Eloquence enough, wisdom

parum little

:

enough.

This quotation applies very forcibly[to domestic oratory as practised

mamma, Those on whom

of their

by small boys for

"

little

at the instigation

amusement

the

of

visitors.

bird with boothom wed,"

deep in the windingths ofo. whale," or " ray name is Nawval," and the like recitations are inflicted,

have " all

pientiae

—

enough of eloquence, in and we cannot but think that " saparum," " wisdom little enough" is di*^-

satis eloquentiae"

conscience

played by

all

;

the other parties concerned.

Some adverbs admit

the cases of the nouns from

which they are derived, as Juvenis benevolus

sibi inutiliter vivit

The good-natured young man to

himself

M 2

lives unprofitably

—

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

136 Especially

if

he have a large

circle of

female ac-

quaintance.

These adverbs of diversity secus, otherwise

;

Plure

aliter.

More

t'other.

ante.

Much

before.

Paulo

post.

Little behind.

— of time;" make

it

Instar, like of,

an ablative case, as

Muito

Those who are much

should

otherwise, and

and these two, ante, before, and

post, after, are often joined to

waste

aliter,

,

before, are guilty of a great

and those who are

up by a or

little

behind

hustle.

equal

to,

and ergo,

for

the sake

being taken as adverbs, have a genitive case

after

them, as

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Instar montis

equum

137

divina Paladis arte

-^dificant

By

the divine

assistance of Pallas they build a

house as big as a mountain.

This

may appear

incredible

chausenius relates prodigies

;

yet the learned

much more

Mentitur Virgilius leporis ergo

Mun-

astonishing.

:

Virgil tells lies for fun.

As may

be sufficiently seen in the example before the

and also

last,

in the sixth

book of the ^neid, passim.

The Construction of Conjunctions. Conjunctions copulative and disjunctive, couple like cases,

moods, and tenses, as

Xenophontem

Socrates docuit

graphiam, astronomiam, Socrates taught

et

et

Platonem geo-

rationem globorum

Xenophon

:

and Plato geograpliy,

astronomy, and the use of the globes.

Q.

How may

terrogation

a waterman answer the polite in-

"'Who

are you?'" correctly, and desig-

nate at the same time, an educational institution.

A. By saying A-cad-am-I. The foregoing rule (not riddle)

holds good, unless

the reason of a different construction requires

it

should be otherwise, as

Emi I

librum centussi et pluris

bought a book

for

:

a hundred pence, and more,

" lOOd. are 85. 4f/."—

Walkinghame. M 3

—

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

138

The after

conjunction,

quam, than,

amphus, more,

AmpUus

plus, more,

often understood

is

and minus,

sunt sex menses

as

less,

:

There are more than six months.

For

this interesting piece of information

debted

to

The author

Cicero.

to

has just been made, has somewhere, not,

which

if

are in-

reference

we

mistake

In thus ushering the

a similar observation.

we

Tutor's Assistant into notice, citing a Avork of

we

whom

it is

we make

feel that

impossible to

are too

comical mention.

Thank goodness months

in a half

there

year

more than

are not

six

!

To WHAT Moods of Verbs certain Adverbs AND Conjunctions do agree. Ne, an, num, whether put doubtfully nitely, are joined to a subjunctive

Nihil refert fecerisne an persuaseris It

or indefi-

mood, as :

matters nothing whether you have done

persuaded

to

it

or

it

as the school -master said

when he

got hold of the

wrong end of the cane.

Here

it

may

be remarked

—

First, that the

young

gentlemen who play tricks with tallow are likely get more

Secondly

whacks than they

like

on their

— That a master whose hand

cannot be expected

A-merry-key.

to

be

at the

is in

to

fingers.

Grease

same time

in

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

Dum,

dummodo,

for

until, requires

Dum

so

that,

139

and quousque,

a subjunctive mood, as

quid refert

felix sis,

?

the odds, so long as you're happy.

What's

Qui, signifying the cause, requires a subjunctive

mood, as Stultus es qui Ovidio credas

You Ut, inodo,

when

for,

postquam

how, it

asmuch

is

or

after that,

sicut, as,

joined to an indicative

signifies as,

:

are a fool for believing Ovid.

and quo-

mood

but

;

quanquam, although

utpote, for-

a

subjunctive

the

final

cause, to

mood, as

Ut sumus

in

Since that

Ponto

we

ter frigore constitit Ister

are in Pontus the

:

Danube has

stood frozen three times.

Were ments

]

Romans

skating and sliding classical accomplish-

Ambition, to

we know,

tread on slijjpery

many of the many of ground none (that we have led

:

them struck out new paths, but

Imagine Cato heard of) ever struck out a slide. " knock." cobbler's coming the or Seneca

Te

oro,

I^lease,

domine, ut exeam sir,

let

me

:

go out.

Lastly, all words put indefinitely, these, quis,

who, quantus, how

such as are

great, quotus,

many, require a subjunctive mood, as

how

140

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Cave cui incurras, Mind who you run

Such may have been

A

inepte

:

against, stupid.

the speech of a

Roman cabman.

very curious specimen of the tessera, or badge,

worn on the breast by

this description of persons,

has lately been discovered at Herculaneum.

:

the comic latin grammar.

141

The construction of Prepositions.

A preposition being understood, sometimes causes an ablative case

to

be added, as

Habeo pigneratorem that

A the

loco avunculi

;

z.

e.

in loco

esteem a pawnbroker in the place of an uncle

I

is,

:

;

in loco.

preposition in composition sometimes governs

same case which

it

also

governed out of compo-

sition, as

Jupiter

Olympo Vulcanum

calce exegit

Jupiter kicked Vulcan out of Olympus.

This was not only an ungentlemanly, but also an

ungodly act on Jupiter's part. teriori,

one would think

it

Reasoning a pos-

must have been very

unpleasant to Vulcan.

me in Quadrante insalutatum me in the Quadrant.

Proeteriit

He

cut

Verbs compounded

Avith a,

sometimes repeat the same

ab,

de,

e,

:

ex,

in,

prepositions with their

case out of composition, and that elegantly, as

Abstinuerunt a vino

They abstained from This properly It

is

:

wine.

an allusion

to the Tiber-totallers.

should be remembered that tea

Rome, except

was unknown

in

as the accusative case of a pronoun.

In, for, erga, towards, contra, against, ad, to,

supra, above, requires an accusative case, as

and

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

142

Quietum Accipit in pueros

He admits

animum mentemque benignam

kind thoughts and inclinations towards

the boys.

The master does

—when

Nick

:

illustriss.

he gives them a half ho-

Mr. Squeers (vide Nicholas

liday or a blow out.

Boz.) was in the habit of making

much of the young gentlemen intrusted to his care. Sub, when it relates to time, is commonly joined to

an accusative case, as

Sub idem tempus

—Isaaculus

trans maria depor-

tatus est

About the

same

beyond the

time

— Ikey was

We say beyond the seas, lest whether Mr.

I.

transported

seas. it

should be questioned

was transported

as a necessary or

contingent consequence of cheating.

Super,

for, ultra,

beyond,

is

put with an accusa-

tive case, for de, concerning, with an ablative case, as

Super

et

Garamantas

et

Indos

Proferet imperium

He

will

extend the empire both beyond the

Africans and the Indians.

A

wide rule expressed

in poetical

measure.

Quid de domesticis Peruviorum rebus censeas

What may

?

be your opinion concerning the do-

mestic economy of the Peruvians]

:

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Tenus, as far

as,

143

joined to an ablative case,

is

both in the singular and plural number, as Cervice, auribusque tenus Marius in luto inveniebatur

Marius was found up

What

a lark

!

neck and ears

to his

mud

or rather a

But tenus

lark.

joined to a genitive only in the plural, and follows

its

it

it

is

always

case, as

Crurum tenus

Which

mud.

in

is

:

up

to the legs.

very necessary

to

be at

Epsom and

Ascot.

The Construction of Interjections. Interjections are often put without a case, as

Spem

ah

gregis,

!

silice in

Having yeaned, she alas!

And

left

upon the bare

exposed

to

for tinder infancy.

O

reliquit

of the flock,

flint stones.

the 5^ee/y-hearted world, which,

as an Irishman remarked,

least,

nuda connixa

the hope

It

was a dangerous

must have been,

to

situation

say the

a most uncomfortable berth.

!

of one exclaiming,

is

joined to a nominative,

accusative, and vocative case, as

O

lex

meum

We

!

Oh law Oh my O !

!

!

O care

alaudas. !

Oh

cannot find out what

is

dear

Latin

Oh

larks

!

Oh

!

for

oh Crikey

!

!

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

144 Heii

and proh

!

!

occasionally to a

!

Oh

ye gods and

cry

Heu boy

is

more

may

People effect

which

to

be pitied

to

be pitied than a junior boy

to that

it

Hei mihi quod

Twist

is

nullis

that to breed a gen-

the readiest

is

amor

The

that love might be excited

by

from the vegetable kingdom. be considered impossible

for

had smoked

ancients beljeved

certain articles taken

Why

to allay the

then should

same

Every bane has

ponding antidote; if so, there

:

by no herbs.

said that, if he

chewed tobacco.

And

to

est medicabilis herbis

that love is curable

manner.

way

are joined to a dative case, as

Ovid never would have

a philter.

in Oliver

?

adopted in public schools.

— we contend

!

in a similar

!

produces on the minds of those who

!

a cigar or

Oh,

miserande puer

make a beast of him. Hei and vee alas,

me

!

!

tleman's son up like a tiger

is

!

Proh

say what they will of the beneficial it

are subjected to

Woe

bellis

Lack-a-
!

The Fagin system described nothing compared

— Heu

Proh deos pisciculosque

!

little fishes

and

an accusative,

to

vocative case, as

Oh, boy,

What

are joined, sometimes to

!

Heu diem

Lack-a-fZcmy.

Clamor

alas

sometimes

a nominative,

may

its

it

feeling

corres-

be physic even

for

the pangs which a virgin has

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. inflicted,

145

what remedy could be prescribed more

reasonable than the Virginian

weed

;

—

besides, love

generally ends in smoke.

A CURE FOR THE HEARTACHE.

Va3 misero

capiti,

madefacto,

sa?pe

Imbribus immundis, Lydia cara,

Woe

to

my

fenestras tuae

:

wretched head, often wetted, dear

Lydia, by the unclean showers of your window.

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

146

This would be a proper place

Av^e

are prevented from doing

by

state of our present information It is,

that the

Romans always

the very imperfect

on

this interesting

took care to provide them-

with an umbrella on these occasions, and

this for a reason

which the above

rendered sufficiently obvious. so

which

;

however, pretty generally admitted

point.

selves

a few

for introducing

remarks on the ancient mode of serenading

salutary a precaution

sometimes adopted this hint

we

is

in these

It

distich will

appears

to

have

us that

well worthy of being

modern days

— and with

conclude the Syntax.

PROSODY. All you that bards of note would be,

Must study

well your Prosody.

As Comparative Anatomy teaches what of a cod-fish

is

;

the sound

Prosody teaches what

so

is

the

sound of syllables.

Sound and quantity mean the same thing

how

" great cry and

Prosody ing,

;

though

that fact is to be reconciled with the proverb,

is

and Time.

quired

to

wool" we do not know.

little

divided into three parts, Tone, Breath-

repeat

As it

mering or drawling

to tone

in ;

—boys are usually

re-

a loud one, without stam-

and with as

and time, or breathing-time, as

little

possible.

breathing

— ;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

We shall leave tone to forte

and fiddle-makers

consideration of piano-

tlie

and breathing

;

and chemists, who can analyze than

we

In this place

can.

147

we

it

to doctors

a great deal better

think proper to treat

only of Time.

Now

Time a very

of

taking the word in

all

may

great deal

the senses in which

be said, it is

capa-

ble of being used.

In the

first

Time

place,

flies

occasion to observe before

;

—but

we have had

this

Time

as also that

a

is

very great eater. In the second,

he

is

Time

is

a very ill-used personage

spent, wasted, lost, kicked down,

the last as often as an Irishman is

and

— but

killed

for all that

he never complains. a question whether keeping Time, or losing

It is

Time,

is

the essential characteristic of dancing.

Then we might

expatiate largely about the value

him by the

of Time, and of the propriety of taking forelock

One ago

;

—

of

but for

them

two reasons.

is,

that all this has been said long

the other, that

it is

nothing at

all to

We might also quote extensively

the purpose.

from Dr. Cul-

peper's Herbal, and from Linnaeus and Jussieu the time

we speak

of,

(although

twigged by the reader,) less

it

is

is

we hope

no plant

a necessary ingredient in

stuffing.

N 2

;

it

;

will

but

be

neverthe-

grammatical

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR,

148

Time

prosody

in

the measure of the pronoun-

is

cing of a syllable.

Like whist,

A long time

marked

is

short time thus

A

their time, the

loped

:

a

pill.

foot is the placing together of

syllables, according to

Short.

thus, as sumens, taking

as pilula, a

;

Long and

divided into

it is

two or more

the certain observation of

organ of which should be well deve-

for that purpose.

Ordinary feet are long

feet,

short feet,

broad

feet,

club feet, and bumble feet, to which

may be added

cloven feet in the case of certain

splay

feet,

animals, and an " old gentleman."

There are several kinds of Latin feet; however,

we

shall

only

notice

spondees

here,

and

dactyls.

A an

spondee

is

a

a

foot of three

foot of

two

syllables, as infans,

infant.

A

dactyl

is

an angel, porciilus, a

Scanning

is

syllables, as angeliis,

pig.

measuring a verse as you are mea-

sured by your tailor

To scanning

rule.

little

—by

the foot,

according to

there belong the figures called

Synaloepha, Ecthlipsis Synseresis, Diaeresis, and Caesura.

Synaloepha

is

the cutting off a vowel at the end

of a word, before another at the beginning of the

next

;

as

—

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. Occlusis evasi I

came

ociills

off with

my

149

nasoqiie cruento

:

eyes bunged up and a bloody

nose.

We

have here knocked out an

i

on the

in evasi,

strength of a synaloepha.

heu and o are never cut

-But

off

— at

least

there

are no cases on record in which this operation has

been performed. Ecthlipsis

with

vowel

its

as often as the letter

is ;

m

is

cut off

word beginning with a

the next

vowel, as

Monstrum horrendum Informe ingens

— specta-

vTmiis h5rtis

We

saw a

horrible, ugly,

great monster in the

gardens. If

every bear and boar were kept

what a

fine

Synaeresis into one,

Stravit

Mad

in

a den

world this would be. the

is

contraction

of two syllables

as in alvearia, pronounced alvaria.

humi demens

conferta alvetiria .Juno

:

Juno threw the crowded beehives on the ground.

Hydrophobia occurring of a dog

in a

queen bee from the bite

would be an interesting case

Diaeresis

is

two, as evoluisse

for

evolvisse.

alluding probably to the

by dandies and

to the faculty.

the separation of one syllable into

Thus Ovid

says,

padding system adopted

theatrical artists.

N 3

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

150

Debuerant fusos evoluisse

They ought Caesura

is

to

when

siios

have unwound

:

their spindles.

after a perfect foot (though not

one hke TagHoni's), a short syllable

made

is

long

at the end of a word, as

Pectoribiis inhians

Intent upon the

— moUes, en, deserit alas

:

he

(of the fowls) lo!

breasts

deserts the tender wings.

Of the Kinds of Verses. Should any one seek here

for

an account of every

kind of verse used by the Latin poets, say

is

—we

no one us

to

wish he

may

get

it.

As

be wiser than the law. so

it

all it

we

can

behoveth

behoveth not

be wiser than the Eton Grammar.

to

The verses which boys

make

commonly taught

are

to

are hexameters and pentameters.

An

hexameter verse consists of six

feet.

As

the

ancient heroes were at least six feet high, this

probably the reason Avhy

it

is

is also called an heroic

A-erse.

The

fifth

foot in this

kind of verse should be a

dactyl, the sixth a spondee either dactyls or spondees

ObstantI pluvils venit

Sambo came with The

fifth foot

also is

;

the other feet

;

may be

as

cum tegmine Sambo

his Macintosh.

sometimes a spondee, as

:

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

magnum

Claviger Alcldes,

151

Jovis incrementum.

Hercules, king of clubs, great offspring of Jupiter.

The

last syllable of

every verse

is

common

a

affair.

An

elegiac, lack-a-daisical, or pentameter verse,

consists of four feet

Avhich is placed

and two long

syllables, one

between the second and

and the other at the end of the verse.

may

first

feet

two

last are

of

third foot,

The two

be dactyls, spondees, or both

the

;

always dactyls, as

Res est infellx, plenaque fraudis amor Love is an unlucky affair, and full of humbug. :

We

feel

compelled, notwithstanding what has been

before said, to

make

a few additions to what

contained in the Eton

Grammar

is

with respect to

verses.

The rhyt-hm by

of Latin verses

may

be easily learned

practising (out of school), exercises on the prin-

examples following

ciple of the

Diim

didle, dl diim, diiin diim, deedledy, dcedle

de, diim

Diim

dum

didle, dfim

;

dum,

de, deedledy, deedledy,

diim.

N. B.

The

following familiar piece

would not have been admitted

Comic

many

various

Latin Grammar, but that there being readings of

it,

to posterity.

we wished

of poetry

into the

to transmit the right

one

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

152

Patres conscripti

— took

a boat and went to Phi-

lippi.

Trumpeter unus erat qui coatum

scarlet habebat,

—

Stormum surgebat, et boatum overset ebat, Omnes drownerunt, quia swimaway non potuerunt,

Excipe John Periwig

tied

up

to the tail of

a dead

pig-

Here,

also,

may

this poetical curiosity

perhaps

be properly introduced.

Conturbabantur Constantinopolitani, Innumerabilibus solhcitudinibus.

Of the Quantity of the There

mouth

is

Macedon and a river manner there are positions

a river in

in like

:

first Syllable. in

Mon-

in

danc-

ing and positions in Prosody.

The following vowels are long by 1.

A

position.

vowel before two consonants, or before a

double consonant in the same word Ingens,

fat,

great Ajax, the

name

—as

pinguis,

of a hero.

A

2. vowel coming before one consonant at the end of a word, and another at the beginning of the

next, as

Major sum quam

cui possit tua virga nocere

I'm a bigger boy than your rod

The by

syllables jor,

position.

is

sum, quam, and

:

able to hurt. sit,

are long

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR. 3.

153

Sometimes, but seldom, a short vowel at the

end of a word placed before two consonants

at the

beginning of the next; as Occulta spolia hi Croceo de Colle ferebant

These persons brought the secret

spoils

from Saf-

fron Hill.

A sliort vowel is

before a mute, a liquid following,

rendered common, as in the word patris.

Sunt quibus ornatur Jenkins femoralia patris

:

The breeches

are

that Jenkins is rigged out in

his father's.

A vowel thy,

before another

is

always

short,

as tua,

memoria, memory.

Except the genitive cases of pronouns in ius, where the i is a common i, although alterius has always a short

i

and

alius a long

i.

Except, likewise, those genitive and dative cases of the

fifth

declension

Punch's nose, faciei, of

is

a face.

where the vowel

made long between two

e,

like

i 's,

as

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

154

The syllable^ r

also in fio is long, except e

and

follow together, as fierem, fieri.

Fient quae " Fieri Facias" mandata vocantur

The writ which

is

:

called " Fieri Facias" will be

made. Fi, fa. is

man

a legal instrument that deprives a poor

may

of his mattress that a rich one

Ca. Sa.

his ottoman,

is

lounge on

a similar benevolent con-

trivance for punishing misfortune as felony.

has

Dius, heavenly,

Diana,

common

the

first

and so has the

:

syllable long interjection

there's a common medium Between a goddess and an interjection. A vowel before another in Greek words

Thus

;

Ohe

!

of connexion,

is

some-

times long, as Caerula, Plerides, sunt vobis tegmina

crurum

:

Oh, Muses, your stockings are blue. Also

in

Greek

Somniculosa

possessives, fuit,

as

pinguisque ^Eneia nutrix

^neas's nurse was sleepy and

^neas

:

fat.

has often enough been represented in arms.

In Latin mark, that every dipthong 'S as long as

any stage-coach whip-thong;

Except before a vowel

When Words same

'tis

it

goes,

as short as Elsler's clothes.

derived from others are tarred with the

stick, that

is,

are assigned the

same quantity

as those which they are derived from,

with some

—

:

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

155

few exceptions, which we must trouble the student to fish for.

Compounds

follow the quantity of their simple

words, as from lego to

legis,

comes perlego,

to read,

read through.

By

the way, reading does not always induce

reading through

though we hope

;

may

it

in the

case of the C. L. G. If to a preterperfect tense belong

Two only syllables, As veni, vidi, vici, Which Csesar made

the

first is

speech so

long

;

cool.

to illustrate our rule;

To which we need not cite exceptions small. Look in your Gradus and you'll find them all. Consult also the Eton Grammar, and works of the

poets, passim,

above as 1.

to the

Words

as well

for

exceptions

two following rules

to the

:

that double the first syllable of the pre-

terperfect tense

have the

first

syllabic short

— as

cecidi from cado, &c.

Fortis Higinbottom cecidit terramque momordit

Brave Higinbottom 2.

A

fell

and

bit the ground.

supine of two syllables has the

first

syllable

long

As visum latum lotum motum And many more if we could quote :

'em.

— —

;

the comic latin grammar.

156

Of the Quantity of the last Syllable.

We have had a poetical us

some time

for

—

'tis

fit

gradually growing upon

of no use to resist

—

goes—

Oh

!

Muse, thine aid

Inspire

my

Thou who,

afford to

me,

Ideality

benign, in days of yore.

Didst heavenly inspiration pour

On

him,

who

luckily for us

Sang Propria Quae Maribus Teach me

to

Prosodial strains in notes of

Words' ends

Now

first

Come,

;

sound on quiv'ring

shall be

fire

my theme

lyre, ;

sublime,

descanted on in rhyme. little

boys, attention lend.

All words are long in a that end (In proof of which

I'll

:

bet a quart,)

Excepting those which must be short

As

puta,

ita,

postea, quia,

Eja, and every case in ia

Or

a,

save such as

;

we must

class

With Grecian vocatives in as, And ablatives of first declension Besides the aforesaid, we may mention Nouns numeral that end in ginta, Which common, as a bit of flint are.

Some

terminate in

All these are short

;

h,

d,t\

but those in c

so here

—— —

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Form

As

— mean, form ends of — as long as Oxford

toes

long

I

feet

Street.

Though nee and donee every bard Hath written short as Hanway yard, Fac,

and hoc are common, though

hie,

Th' ablative hoe

Now Like

to

is

long you know.

" e finita" short are reckon'd,

a jiffey or a second,

Though we must call the Gradus wrong, Or these, of fifth declension, long.

As

also particles that

come

mode derivative therefrom. Long second persons singular Of second conjugation are. In

And

monosyllables in

Take,

for

Then,

too,

Are long

e.

example, me,

te, se,

adverbial adjectives

as rich old women's lives

If from the second declination

Of adjectives

they've derivation

:

Pulchre and docte, are the kind

Of adverbs that I have in mind. Ferme is long, and fere also Bene, and male, not at Lastly, Is

each

long on

To

wit

—

all

final eta

all so.

Greek,

days of the week

(for thus

we

render nempe)

Lethe, Anchise, cete, Tempe.

157

—

158

COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

THI2

Those words as long we classify

Which

end, like egotists, in

i,

Rememb'ring

mihi, tibi, sibi

Are common,

so are ubi, ibi

Nis!

is

Short In

i

always

;

and quasi's

short,

also, so are certain cases

— Greek vocatives and datives

(At

least if

Making

we may

trust the natives

,)

their genitives in os,

For instance

—

Phyllis, Phyllidos.

(A name oft utter'd with a sigh,) Whereof the dative ends in i. Words in / ending short are all, Save

nil for nihil,

And some To

cite

;

Your In,

and

sal,

sol.

few Hebrew words t'were well

as Michael, Raphael. n's are long,

save forsitan

tamen attamen, and an

Veruntamen and

Are

short as

any

These, therefore,

forsan,

which

tailor's stitch;

we

except, and then

Contractions " per apocopen"

As

viden'

?

men'

1

and audin

]

—

so in

Exin' and subin', dein', proi'n.

An, from a nominative Ending a word

But every an

is

short,

for long

in

a

they say.

must pass

Derived from nominative

in as.

;

;

;

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR, Nouns,

Doth

And

too, in

en are short whose

make

in the genitive

159

finis

inis.

so are n's that do delight in

—

An

i and y Alexin, Ttyn. Greek words are short I'd have you know,

That end

in

Common

are terminating

on with

little o,

o's.

Cases oblique except from those, Adverbial adjectives as falso

Are

long,

—take

Save mutuo,

tanto,

— quanto

also

sedulo, and crebro,

Common as vestment vending Hebrew. Modo and quomodo among Short

Nor

o's

we rank

cito, ego,

Ambo

and

— nor

duo

Homo

And

be long.

ever prone are

But monosyllables

Are counted

to

no nor

;

long.

;

in o.

Example

—

sto.

omega, the whole world over,

'S as long as

'tis

If r should

from here

to

chance a word

Dover. to

wind up,

'Tis short in general,

make your mind up

But

vir,

far, lar, nar,

and

and fur

Par, compar, impar, dispar,

ciir.

As long must needs be cited here. With words from Greek that end in Though 'mong

er

;

the Latins from this fate are

These two exempted

— o

pater, mater

2

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

160

Short in the

Namely,

Now,

s,

state

em,

in just as

there are vowels

In order, as,

— — as thus five

es, is, os, us.

As, in a general

Long unto

Grammar says. many ways

the Eton

Ends words

As

we

final er

" auctoritate vatum."

all

way appears

but asses ears.

But some Greek words take care to mark as Short, for example Pallas, Areas

—

—

And

An

nouns increasing plural sport

as accusative that's short,

Es

in the main's a long

aflfair,

Anchises, such, and patres are.

Though

As

of the third declension

short such substantives

The

genitives of which increase,

Derived from nominatives in

And have an The

As

you

must view,

es,

accent short upon

syllable that's last but one.

miles, seges, dives, (which

Means what

a Poet

is n't,)

— rich

:

But pes

is

Like

a hermit munching dry pease.

To

to

long, with bipes, tripes,

these add Ceres, Saturn's cub,

(Name

of a goddess,

and

Metonymy

for

The

figure

And

aries, abies, paries, too.

grub

through,)

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

Sum Are

with

its

compounds forming

short, join penes, if

you

es,

please,

Item Cyclopes Naiades.

Greek nominatives and For

lists

1 plural neuters.

of which consult your tutors.

Is,

we

call short, as Paris, tristis,

Save

all

such words as mensis,

Plurals oblique that end in

Adding

The

istis.

is,

thereto for quibus quis.

Samnis long by

is in

Because

its genitive's

Where you

right is

Samnltis.

observe a lengthened state

Of syllable penultimate. The same to all such words

applies,

And

eis,

Is

contracted,

meaning

—

Long too, and pray remember this Are monosyllables in is. Save is the nominative pronoun,

And

quis,

When

and

bis,

verbs by

which is

in the plural His

The

is is long,

last is

;

make,

and no mistake

Provided always that the peNultimatc plural long shall be. Os, saving compos, impos, os Is long

no noun.

concluded are.

In second person singular

But

161

—as honos dominos.

—

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

162

The Greek omicron

and that

short,

's

in

All conscience must be so in Latin.

Words

should be short in us,

unless

Authority has laid a stress

On the penultimate of any Word that increases in the Tive case

when

us

geni-

long, the

is

may

Pronunciation nouns

same

claim

Declined like gradiis or like manus

Though here exceptions

The

first

Singular

Long

case and the short as

;

are mus,

and

criis,

are those

thiis

and

Lastly,

iis,

so

all

men

words

we end

in

o^nous.

u are

long,

our classic song.

—

And not our song only, but our work of our solitude

alone oil

;

siis

Grecian nouns by diphthong ous,

Translated us by

And

fifth

monkey's nose.

All monosyllables in

And

detain us.

still

we

live,

—the object for

and not only

daylight.

we commit

Lib.

iii,

Ode

it

—

for

which

which we consumed our midnight that,

but also burnt a great deal of

— Our work, we

it is

the companion

of our cares

say,

is

to the world.

XXX.

ended

— and such as

Horace says Carm.

(an ode which

by some strange mind

association of ideas, is always connected in our

with the visionary image of a jug of

ale,)

" Exegi

THE COMIC LATIN GRAMMAR.

163

monumentum sereperennius," I have perfected a work more durable than brass. Whether our production is

characterized by the durability of that metal or

not, is a question

posterity

;

we

which we leave

to the decision of

cannot, however, help thinking that,

considering the boldness of our attempt, figuratively at least, something in

substance

in

question

— and

it

possesses

common with

we would

the

hope

fain

that that something does not consist in hardness.

And now

farewell to the reader

— a — said a great farewell,

"

word that must be and hath been'' times when once would have been quite

many

sufficient.

We

need

repeat

not, therefore,

it

;

nor

need we say how much we hope that we have

amused, instructed him, and so

forth

;

much an understood thing to put at book, as " Love to papa, mamma, sisters," in

a holiday

that being as

the end of a

brothers and

letter.

Nothing, then, remains

for

us

kick up our hat and cry " ALL OVER."

FINIS

now

to do,

but

to

.

LIST OF ETCHINGS. 1

2.

Vocative case (schoolmaster spatting a boy)

to face

page

Schoolmaster beating a drum , and boys singing in chr ''

2.

' "' '

'^.

Ingenuas pugni didicisse

4.

Prometheus Vinctus (vagabond

5.

SmeUirig a Pig (boys at supper in the bed room)

6.

Domestic Oratory (small boy spouting in a chair)

135

7.

Heu miserande Puer (boy

144

8.

Patres conscripti

fideliter artes (fight)

in the stocks)

tossed in a blanket).

COE, PRINTER, 27, OLD CHANGE, ST. rAi/i

l

72 74

152

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