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MASTERING THE ART OF VAGINAL MASSAGE Dr. Leonard McGill Indialantic Publishing, 2015

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Text copyright 2015 by Indialantic Publishers

Photographic copyright 2015 by Indialantic Publishers All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Published by Indialantic Publishing, 1654 Dexter Lane, Charleston, South Carolina 29412. Member of the Indialantic Publishing Group. Printed in the United States of America Cover Design by Valentina Pinova ([email protected]) Back Cover Design and Interior Book Design by Rose Ann Mae P. Deatras of TITUS (Olongapo, Phillipines) Mark Eakle: Photos on pages: 15,16,19,48,73 (bottom photo), 78, 90, 92 (top photo), 93, 94, 110, 129 Shutterstock: Photos on pages: 7, 9, 11, 28, 45, 46, 50, 61, 71, 72, 86, 89, 111, 136, 171, 183 (cover photo) Dr. Leonard McGill: Photos on pages: 10, 32, 54, 57, 65, 82, 92 (bottom photo), 95, 101, 104, 105, 107, 108, 117, 156 Jordi Toiran: Photos on pages: 123, 124, 125 California Exotics: Photo on page 106 Dragonessdesign (can be found on Fiverr.com). Vector illustrations on pages: 8,35, 79, 80, 120, 122, 157, 165, 167 Juanarts (Juan-arts.com) Illustrations on pages: 18, 20, 30, 31, 33, 40, 42, 44, 52, 55, 56, 66, 73 (top), 84, 98, 123, 130, 131, 140, 144, 148, 151 Shteriovajagoda (can be round at Fiverr.com): Illustration on page 100 Photo shop work on page 136 by home_video_help (available at fiverr.com)

DISCLAIMER The exercises and advice contained within this book may be too strenuous or dangerous for some people, and the reader(s) should consult a physician before engaging in them. The author and publisher of this book are not responsible in any manner whatsoever for any injury which may occur through reading and following the instructions herein ISBN 1-5151-2809-1

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Acknowledgements

I was at my friend Julie’s house, having dinner with her and Jorda, her four year old daughter. The night before I’d just gone out on my first date in decades, with a 5’ 4” female bodybuilder that bench pressed more than me. My personal life was a dumpster fire, women baffled me, and I had no idea how to craft a life after losing my family. Julie strode over to her bookshelf, grabbed a volume, and walked back to me. She held it out. “You need to read this,” was all she said. I took the book home, and David Deida’s “The Way of the Superior Man” was the only book I ever read from cover to cover in one day. Two weeks later I opened up my e-mails and there was an announcement from the Omega Institute, the spiritual center in Upstate New York, announcing Deida was giving a week-long intensive. I signed up, though taking a week from work at the time seemed ridiculously extravagant. The workshop changed my life, in part because it was there that I met D., to whom this book is dedicated. Thank you, Julie, David, and D. Also thanks to Master Mantak Chia, whose books I first started reading when I was 23 years old, and who is now my “boss” at his Tao Garden Health Spa and Resort in Chiang Mai, Thailand. And thank you to all of my other teachers and mentors, especially Henk Brandt, Keith Sudano, and Dr. Erich Breitenmoser. Also thanks to the wonderfully creative people who have helped shape this book. When I started out I wanted to write a cool sex book. Over time, however, the artists, graphic designers, photographers and models who’ve contributed to “Mastering the Art of Vaginal Massage” have elevated my vision to art. Thank you all.

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About the Author

Dr. Leonard McGill is a former Contributing Editor to GQ (Gentlemen’s Quarterly) and a noted health lecturer, consulting with such companies as ATT Universal Card, Cole Vision Laboratories and American Express.

His books have been positively reviewed by People Magazine, The New York Times and The Washington Post. “Dr. Leonard” as his patients and clients call him, is a Chiropractic physician and founder and director of www.Energysexuality.com and the “Energy Sex Insider” YouTube channel. He is a resident Orgasmic Activation practitioner at the world famous Tao Garden Health Spa and Resort in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Dr. Leonard is an avid surfer, yoga enthusiast and mindfulness student. A “digital nomad,” he lives in New York City, Charleston, South Carolina and Doi Saket, Thailand.

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Mastering the Art of Vaginal Massage Table of contents Introduction Chapter One:

Investment Strategy

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Chapter Two:

Staged Right

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Chapter Three:

Recipe for Success

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Chapter Four:

Looks Like Love

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Chapter Five:

Doing It in the Dark

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Chapter Six:

Touching Me, Touching You

51

Chapter Seven:

Animal Instincts

53

Chapter Eight:

Back Door Delivery

59

Chapter Nine:

All In

67

Chapter Ten:

Water Works

69

Chapter Eleven:

Underpinnings

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Chapter Twelve:

Pulling Her Leg

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Why Do This?

Setting the Scene for Love How to Massage Your Lover’s Vagina Dressing Your Lover for Vaginal Massage Using Blindfolds and Headphones Encouraging Your Lover to Play With Herself Doggie Style Vaginal Massage Vaginal Massage With Anal Play Progressive Finger Play Helping Your Lover to Squirt Using a Pillow Under Her Pelvis Tugging Down on Her Vagina

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Mastering the Art of Vaginal Massage Table of contents Chapter Thirteen:

Fit To Be Tied

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Chapter Fourteen:

Wave On

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Chapter Fifteen:

Added Value

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Chapter Sixteen:

Detours Ahead

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Chapter Seventeen:

You’ve Got the Touch

113

Chapter Eighteen:

Professional Grade

119

Chapter Nineteen:

Conscious Decisions

127

Chapter Twenty:

From Here to Eternity

133

Bondage and Vaginal Massage Creating Full Body Orgasms in Your Lover Sex Toys for Vaginal Massage Taking Breaks During Your Vaginal Massages Becoming a More Sensitive Lover Jose Torian’s Orgasmic Pulse Massage OM…Orgasmic Meditation Massage Energetic Vaginal Massage

Chapter Twenty One: Mouthing Off

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Chapter Twenty Two: Help From a Friend

155

For Women Only…

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Epilogue

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Bonus!

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Bonus II!

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Combining Vaginal Massage with Cunnilingus Using the Crystal Wand

Opening Yourself to Love

Inviting Your Woman Onto Your Spiritual Path The Ninja Lover’s Training Manual

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INTRODUCTIOn Imagine this: You sink your erection into your lover and immediately you feel a rush of energy expanding your heart like fireworks shooting out into the night sky. The boundaries around your heart disappear and you feel love rush out of it in all directions, pulsating, streaming, glowing. It’s the most delicious feeling you’ve ever experienced. If you’re a man that will likely never happen. But when you use your open heart and your trained fingers to play in your woman’s precious playground, you can give her just such an experience. Vaginal massage is a chance for women to sink into and be enveloped by heartexpanding sexual pleasure. Ask yourself: if you could do this for her, why would she ever look at another guy? Wouldn’t she give you all the love you ever wanted? Most importantly, wouldn’t your life become easier, deeper, richer? “At first he gives me the most delicious feelings I’ve ever felt, with one orgasm building on the one that came before it, becoming more and more powerful. And then he takes me out of my body. I feel like I’m connected to everything,” is how one woman described what receiving vaginal massage does for her. “It doesn’t take away what he does with his penis. That’s become even better, because I’m able to enjoy it more now. He’s way beyond anything I ever dreamed of in a lover.” For you, mastering this skill gives you the ability to send your woman into states of bliss and connection that will have her blushing when she tells her girlfriends about the bedroom time she spends with you. Bestowing this gift on your woman, you become a trusted lover. A man in charge in the bedroom. In charge of his erections, his sexual energy, his vibrating, inflatable sex toys. Through you, your woman tastes the sweetness of her radiance. Glowing. Radiating. And sending all that love to you. Most likely she’s forgotten she can even dream of sex like this. Personal and culturally-embedded beliefs, not to mention rough-handling or incompetent sexual partners, have blotted it out long ago. You can feel great about yourself as a man

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and as a lover, because you’re giving your woman a precious gift. And because she feels cherished in a way no other man has ever cherished her, your relationship grows deeper. If you want to bravely go into that deep space with a woman where no man has gone before, where you are connected with her as deeply as sun and sky, vaginal massage will do it for you. In this book you’ll find out how your life gets better when you offer this gift to a lover. After that, I’m going to serve up on a silver platter an awesome nuts and bolts “template” for how to deliver a great vaginal massage. With this training you’ll be one of a handful of men on the planet that can go anywhere in the world, lay their hands on a woman, and take her to sensuous, erotic, ecstatic places she’s never been before, for as long as she wants. This stuff is sexual dynamite, and for most women, will be unlike anything they’ve ever experienced. Next, I’ll give you awesome ideas for varying your massages, along with special considerations and tips for becoming truly masterful at this sublime sexual skill. Then we’ll look at vaginal massage techniques for tapping into the energy flowing through your lover’s body. These methods can take a woman to places she’s never dreamed possible. At this point you become a next-level lover, on the cutting edge of sexuality, taking your partner on journeys that keep opening her wider and deeper. Finally, I’ve included chapters on unique vaginal massage styles developed by masters of this art, to give you even more expertise. In the end, whether you want insanely powerful sexual skills, or a way to connect with women on a far deeper level, the techniques detailed ahead are for you.

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Chapter One: Investment Strategy Why Do This?

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Investment Strategy / Why Do This?

Total Package

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f you’re reading this you probably realize that learning how to massage your woman’s vagina with world-class skill is going to make your life better in some way. But, many men that I first speak to about vaginal massage ask, “Why would I want to do that? What’s in it for me?” Here’s what’s in it for you: Even if you’ve been with your lover for awhile, once you start doing this for her she’s going to be more turned on than she’s ever been. And that’s going to increase her sexual appetite and joy. You probably don’t get enough sex. Now you will. Also, do you want a lover who is smart and sexy? Who makes as much money as you do (or would be if she wasn’t doing such a damn good job of raising your kids)? Who can handle the “real” world of laundry, food shopping, etc…AND who is absolutely irresistible and a total turn-on to you in bed? A woman who radiates love and passion through every cell of her body as if she were born only to be the object of your sexual desires, so that you can’t wait to take the briefcase or diaper bag out of her hands and throw her in bed? Mastering vaginal massage will help you attract such women. Or, wouldn’t you love to finally feel that your woman is happy? She’s not trying to change you through nagging or manipulation. She’s not threatening you to change, because she can feel that you cherish her. And because she’s happy, you’re happy. In fact, you’re both happy to the point where you’re not just “getting along,” but you’re supporting each other’s deepest desires. You’re both a “soft place to land” for each other when times are tough. Mastering vaginal massage will help you achieve this sort of relationship with women. “Men come to me for tricks,” notes Jose Toiran, perhaps the world’s most renowned

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vaginal masseuse (you’ll learn exactly what he does in the pages ahead). “But when they start to do this work, it changes everything in their lives.” Here’s why: Modern, successful women need a break from the ever-increasing challenges of the world. A world in which they are called upon to act like men for most of the day…organizing, planning, goal-setting, getting things done. Women can do this well. Sometimes better than men. But there will always be a part of them that longs for something more. Performed properly vaginal massage allows women to experience something they long for but hardly ever get: pleasure for pleasure’s sake. No performance anxiety. No need to please. Just relax and enjoy. And women, perhaps for the first time in history, are ready for men to give them this gift.

In Us We Want Them To Trust

W

omen want men they can trust. Period. They want to trust their men so fully that they can relax and let go completely during sex, feeling love flow through their bodies and hearts. They want to trust enough to surrender. And often they want to give up control in the bedroom. In a New York Times Magazine article, “Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?” writer Lori Gottlieb reported that when a woman in her late 30’s asked her husband to be “rougher” in bed “the result was comical.” “He was trying to do what I wanted,” she explained, “but he was so…careful. I don’t want him to ask, “Are you O.K?” I want him not to care if I’m O.K., to just, you know, not be the good husband and take charge.” Vaginal massage is a key technique you’ll use to become one of the new, trusted, in-charge lovers that women are craving. At the same time, this book provides a solution to the incredible burden modern men feel. How can you be a “man’s man” in an increasingly feminine, right-brained

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world? Women’s emotional intelligence, their ability to multi-task and seeing “the big picture”, have made them extremely valuable in the workplace. Twenty three percent of men are in marriages where their wives out-earn them (this statistic is for couples with children under 18; it may be higher in un-married couples). What’s a guy to do?

Charge Ahead

V

aginal massage is part of the answer. It’s one skill you can use to become an in-charge, trusted lover. Listen, you can either take charge in the bedroom, with a set of awesome lovemaking skills and an open heart, or you can continue to be frustrated in relationships where you are becoming less relevant and less respected. You can continue to bumble along in and outside the bedroom, or acquire easy-to-learn skills like vaginal massage so you become more sexually skillful, interesting, and emotionally intelligent. As you’ll see, vaginal massage is a stepping stone on the way to becoming a new type of man.

Easy Out

W

omen are waiting for men to understand their preciousness, to promote their radiance. And when you master the technique of vaginal massage, you can use it to unlock your lover’s heart. Then you can enjoy being bathed in your woman’s best love, and your life becomes so much easier. Vaginal massage opens a door. Walk through it, and you might discover how to get all the love you ever wanted.

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Chapter Two: Staged Right Setting the Scene for Love

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Staged Right / Setting the Scene for Love

Better By Design

I

’m betting you’re not much of an interior designer. Even if you’re the kind of guy that appreciates the artistry and scent of a beautifully-made candle, you don’t spend many lunch hours at Bed, Bath and Beyond, or any other home décor store. That’s OK. In this chapter I’m going to tell you how to create an environment in your bedroom where your woman can experience pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Now, the thought of tidying up before having sex may seem pointless to you. In truth, sometimes it is (you may have a wonderful memory of making love in the back seat of your car, up against a tree in the woods or in some nightclub bathroom). Fine. But the point here is you’re taking charge by creating a great space for making love. At the same time, you’re letting her relax. And she’s going to thank you by hopefully giving you the best sex of your life. So from a purely selfish standpoint, learn this material so your life becomes easier. I’m about to tell you how to straighten up your bedroom so you can gift your lover with a mindblowing vaginal massage. But at the same time, know that every time you take charge of an aspect of your relationship like this, you’re making it possible, perhaps inevitable, that you’ll get all the love you ever wanted.

Style Wise

H

ow do you start taking charge of your sex life and set the stage for a more passionate, less drama-filled relationship? Change the sheets. Because great vaginal massages begin with great settings. You’ll need to set the stage. I’m assuming most of your massages will be done on a bed, but these same ideas apply if you’re on a sleeping bag in the woods or a sheepskin rug in front of a www.energysexuality.com

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fireplace. It’s most helpful in creating a magical space to imagine that you’re a director of a movie or play. As a director, you’re going to create a set or stage, and you’ll be using props such as oils, gels, flowers, candles, costumes, sex toys, and sensual stimulants. There is lighting. There is music. And since yours is a very intimate theatre, you can also play with special effects, like different scents. Using everything you can, you’re going to create the ultimate space for your woman to experience ultimate pleasure. Let’s get started. First, usher your woman to another room so you can be alone to craft the space. Remember that gestures like this help her let go. You are in charge. So don’t ask her help in changing the sheets or vacuuming the rug. Here’s a nice touch: make up a sumptuous bubble bath for her. If

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Staged Right / Setting the Scene for Love it’s her first vaginal massage, buy her a luxurious terry cloth robe and matching slippers to wear after she dries off from the bath. Have the robe and slippers gift-wrapped and sitting in the bathroom for her to open. Include a note that says something heartfelt like, “I love you, Princess!” Change the bedding. Invest in some polyester satin sheets. As with all the items mentioned here, find them on-line or at specialty home décor stores. Most women love the feel of satin against their skin, and these sheets add a real sense of luxury to their massage experience. You’ll want them in red, the color of passion, unless your woman has another favorite color that makes her feel more comfortable and sexy. If she doesn’t like satin, find out what she does like (for example, high count cotton, flannel, t-shirt material), and get a nice set of sheets in her

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favorite color or pattern. You’ll want the room nice and neat. By bringing order to the space, you’re promoting your woman’s sense that she can trust you to take care of her, consequently enhancing her ability to let go completely. The look you’re after is neat, spare and beautiful. Imagine a Zen garden. No need to hire an interior designer for this make-over, just get as close to that clean, elegant look as possible. If there are clothes or loose papers scattered about, put them away, out of sight (maybe placing all the clutter in a laundry basket in the closet). If there is a television in the room, cover it with a nice piece of fabric, a large scarf or, if nothing else is around, a bath towel. Why? Televisions, even turned off, are a connection to the “real” world, and you want to make any space in which you perform vaginal massage dedicated to passion and ecstasy.

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Staged Right / Setting the Scene for Love

If your budget and schedule allows, spring for a bouquet of flowers, and place them in a vase by the bed. Or, if you have flowers in your yard or living space, cut the stems from several of them and float the flowers in a nice bowl of water, an elegant, Zen-like touch. For lighting, get good quality candles, the kind they sell at Pier One or Bed Bath and Beyond. Candlelight makes any lover’s skin look warmer and sexier. It’s also the most forgiving when it comes to wrinkles and sags. Incorporating candles, you and your lover will literally be looking at each other while basking in your best light. www.energysexuality.com

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Using scented candles further enriches your lover’s experience by engaging her sense of smell. If you know your woman’s favorite scent, use it. If she doesn’t have one, try either lavender or ylang ylang. Lavender is used in aromatherapy (the science of influencing our emotions and health using fragrance) for relaxation. Lavender candles create a wonderfully calming atmosphere. Ylang ylang is known as the “sex scent”. It smells deep and earthy. As scents go, it’s mysterious. Another way to work with scents is to use pillow sprays. Use these “spray scents in a can” on your satin sheets before the massage, and when your woman lies down, she’ll be enveloped by a cloud of scent sensation. Popular sprays are lavender, rose, ylang ylang and jasmine. If it’s cool in the room, spray your sheets with pillow spray and run them in the laundry dryer for ten minutes to warm them. Does your lover like incense? Burn it. These small touches are huge when it comes to relaxing her to where she’ll open for you like a desert bloom after a rain. She longs for this. She’s not getting it anywhere else. If burning incense or buying her a new robe lets her heart radiate under your tender touch, isn’t it worth it? Do you want your life to be

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Staged Right / Setting the Scene for Love

easier or don’t you? Time your vaginal massages when you can be confident of privacy. If you have children, lock the bedroom door. Lastly, there’s the music. What to play? Like all the masterful touches you’ve used when setting the stage for her ecstatic journey, the music you choose should allow your lover to sink into pleasure as easily as chocolate syrup sinks through milk. Here is a list of classic “sex music” tracks: • “Music To Disappear In” by Raphael and Kutira • “Waves” by Gabrielle Roth • “Opening To Love” by Robert Frey • “Healing Touch” by Nadamas • “Music for Tantric Sexuality” by Llewellyn • “Tantric Heart” by Shastro • “Flying Om” by Frank Natale. Most of the above tracks have few if any words and a hypnotic rhythm and beat. They help your woman to escape into the world of pleasure you’re creating. While these sex soundtracks are great, they aren’t for everyone. So if your woman grooves on high-energy rock or trance music, put together an awesome playlist for her. Does she get turned on easier when you two are out in nature? Try a soundtrack of ocean waves rolling to the shore and witness her expand into a feeling of being at one with nature. One last “note” about music. If your woman has a particularly great time listening to a certain soundtrack, play the same piece each time you pleasure her, at least for awhile. Her nervous system will associate the music to orgasmic pleasure, and just hearing it will usher her into a blissful groove. So you’ve set the stage. You’ve created an awesomely ecstatic space. Time for conscious sex play, time to go deep. Time for vaginal massage.

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Chapter Three Recipe for Success How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina

Starting Lines

B

egin playing the music. Have your lover enter the room by giving her an agreedupon signal. For example, when you knock three times on the bathroom door or at the sound of the music starting. This is yet another example of you taking charge in order for her to relax. Do you see the mastery in building these small events into her experience, planning everything to the last detail, versus having her help you change the sheets or shouting, “O.K, I’m ready for you!”? Can you see if you brought this same “take charge” energy to the non-sexual aspects of your relationship that your woman would more easily trust and surrender to you in the bedroom? When she walks into the room, tell her how great she looks: “Damn, babe, you look awesome.” “Whew! Gorgeous! I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”

Rites of Passage

N

ow, perform a ritual to start the energy between you moving in the right direction. What’s a ritual? Don’t get hung up on the word. This isn’t religious and it’s not New Age. It’s a set of actions and/or words with symbolic value to get the two of you more emotionally and sexually open and responsive. Rituals are shortcuts that create an emotional, mental and/or physical response, preparing you for the fun to come. Creating rituals (you can call them “personal plays” if that feels more comfortable) and building them into your relationship keeps the energy between you high and fresh. For some couples this might be a long, slow hug www.energysexuality.com

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or slow dance. For others they might exchange “Namaste” greetings, with their hands in prayer position on their chests, with formal bows. (The word “Namaste,” which you’ll often hear yoga instructors say at the end of a class, means “The light in me recognizes the light in you.”) Here is a classic “Heart-Opening” ritual that works perfectly before vaginal massages: Visualize this scene: Your woman walks into the room after bathing in the sumptuous bubble bath you made up for her. Her skin is flushed; she’s wearing the big, fluffy, terry cloth robe and slippers you bought her. She’s already feeling pampered and cherished in a way few women ever experience at the hands of a lover, at least not after the first blush of romance wears off. She sees the new red satin sheets on the bed. “Wow, those look beautiful,” she says appreciatively. You have four big, scented candles burning. The room is dark, but you both are glowing in the soft candlelight. You’ve bought yourself a robe to wear as well, in navy blue, giving you an elegant look she may not have seen for a while. The air is thick with the scent of ylang ylang: exotic, deep, sultry. It fills the room with the promise of an ecstatic journey. You’re standing erect, with great posture, your chin slightly tucked, your feet rooted to the floor. You’re breathing deeply into your abdomen, your eyes focused intently on her face. “Come here,” you say, your voice coming from your belly. You point to a spot two and a half feet in front of where you’re standing. She comes. “I want you. You’re mine,” you say in Stay conscious, present and openhearted. Let her know you want her. a voice you’ve practiced a hundred times in

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina front of the bathroom mirror, until Clint Eastwood would have a hard time beating your bravado. “Yes.” You reach your right hand out and place it underneath her robe, over her heart. She in turn places her right hand over your heart. You place your left hands over each other’s right hands. You start to breath in rhythm with her. As you feel her chest expand you breathe in, all the way down into your belly. As you feel her chest sink back you breathe out. You gaze into her left eye. (For men and women, the left eye and hand are your “receiving” eyes and hands. It’s easier to take in your partner’s energy through them. Conversely, it’s easier to give energy to your partner through your right eye and hand. These aren’t rules you can’t break, but they’ve worked for energetic lovers throughout the centuries.) Once you’re breathing in sync with her and feeling heart-connected, you imagine looking through her left eye, down her throat, and into her heart. (I realize this may seem far-fetched to some men reading this. My only suggestion is to try it out. This is the sort of gesture that allows women to melt into the sex kittens many of them long to become in the bedroom. If you never unlock the door that leads to her radiant heart, you can’t expect to benefit from the fullness of her love.) With your hand on her heart and as you look into her left eye, you imagine you can get a sense of this woman’s soul. (In fact many men can, often from the first time they do the exercise). What’s deep down inside? What is the quality of the beauty www.energysexuality.com

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lying in her heart? You pretend for the moment that you can feel her soul as you gaze into her eyes. You imagine a warm, glowing, golden white light there, and feel it radiate up into your hand. You continue to gaze into each other’s eyes, gazing down into each other’s souls, and breathing together, for two or three minutes. (You’ll have to experience how powerful this technique is to believe it, but most people report feeling an intimate connection and appreciation for the person with whom they perform this ritual. At a class where I taught this technique, a young man came up afterwards and said he felt more connected to his workshop partner, who he had never met before, than to any of the women he’d ever dated.) After three minutes you take your hands away. Now you slow dance with her for awhile as you continue to breathe in sync with her, at the same time rubbing your hands over her back, neck and backside through the robe, gently grinding her chest and pelvis to you as you move together. “Lay down.” She does. Can you feel/see how this ritual of heart opening and connection will get your lover ready to receive your attentions? It’s not just about sexual technique. It’s about keeping your heart open when you’re sharing yourself with her. It’s about doing everything you can to open that beautiful heart of hers, so you can enjoy all the love you deserve. It’s about making your life deeper, richer, easier. The room should be comfortably warm. It’s a good idea before you start massaging to ask, “How’s the temperature? Are you comfortable?” Also, while she’s settling in, go to the kitchen and microwave for 10-15 seconds the water-based lubricant or coconut oil you’ll be using for the massage. She can go naked, or depending on the temperature or her temperament, stay dressed in her robe. (Some women feel self-conscious, even with a long-time lover, lying naked on a bed. Later I’ll go into more detail about dressing your woman for

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina vaginal massage). The stage is set and your woman is lying on sumptuous satin sheets, relaxed and ready to go. Or is she? Perhaps she needs some cuddling, a foot rub, or easy conversation to settle in and get comfortable. Do whatever you need to help her relax.

Assume the Position

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nce she’s set, it’s time for you to settle in. Gracefully sit on the bed, crosslegged, close to her right hip. If you have trouble sitting crossed legged, take pillows and place them under your knees for support. If you are physically unable to get comfortable you’ll need to get a massage table, allowing you to stand as your woman lies on her back. (www.Craigslist.com is a great place to find used massage tables,

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usually for under $100. For new models check on-line at www. massagewarehouse. com.) If you’re left handed then you’ll sit on her left, and all of the following instructions will be reversed. Now, drape her right leg over your right knee so that her legs are spread. Whenever you move/touch her, do it gently and with great intent (in other words, know exactly what you want to do before you do it, and concentrate while you make your moves). Don’t be sloppy. Have your bottle of lubricant handy. Astroglide™ is inexpensive and can be bought at most pharmacies, in the family planning section, as can Excite™ gel, a product that when rubbed onto the clitoris will make it more sensitive. For the money these are the best alternatives. Other more expensive and exotic formulas are worth exploring as well (for example, organic coconut oil is an awesome, all natural lubricant). There is no cookbook formula for what will work best for your woman, but it’s fun finding out the perfect combination for her. I’m giving you a template here assuming you’ve prepared your woman to receive this kind of pleasure. The rituals described above may be all the foreplay needed. But especially with a new lover, you’ll want to spend time kissing, cuddling and massaging other parts of her before stimulating her vagina. When you’ve done your best to create a relaxed, fun, adventurous, erotic mood, your vaginal massage will flow in five parts: You’ll begin by helping your lover open her heart, then you’ll describe your woman’s vagina to her, massage her vaginal lips, massage her clitoris with your left hand and then use your right hand to massage her vagina.

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Gentlemen, Start Her Engine

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ere’s how to start the massage: Put your left hand over your woman‟s heart, and rest your right hand in your lap. Center yourself by taking deep breaths in and out. As you breathe in, feel/imagine golden white energy flowing from several feet above your head and down into and through the crown of your head. This is a spot two thirds toward the back of your skull, where your spine would exit your head if it came up through your skull. Imagine the energy flowing down through your crown and into your chest. Imagine it’s infused with gold glitter that sparkles as it moves into and through you. As you breathe out, feel/imagine the energy flowing from your chest, up into your shoulders, down your arms and into your hands. As with other aspects of moving energy through your body, when you first start this practice you will probably have to “fake it ‘till you make it.” In other words, if you’ve never experienced the movement of energy in your body, you may not feel anything right away, perhaps for months. That’s fine. Just pretend you can feel energy moving. For thousands of years sexual artists have had faith that if they use their intention to move energy within themselves, it will happen, whether they can feel it at first or not. Say: “Breath down into your heart. Feel your chest relax and expand.” Let her breathe three inhalations/exhalations, or longer if it feels right.

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Scouting Report

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eaving your left hand in place, look--really focus--at your woman’s vagina, as if you were discovering it for the first time. (In reality you may be seeing it for the first time. This most luscious part of her can look radically different from day to day as the intricate folds that make up her labia lips often arrange themselves in different patterns. Also, she may have changed as a person, and this is a good time to remind yourself of her capacity for growth.) Now describe what you see to her in a low, strong voice. For example, “I’m looking at your beautiful womanhood, my love, and it looks awesome in the candlelight. You’re so sexy! Your inner lips are a great shade of pink and they are curled up like a flower waiting to open its petals. The light is reflecting off your pubic hair, and your love muff has little sparkles in it. It looks so lush and soft.” For women who shave themselves clean it might go more like: “I can see every little fold of your lusciousness my love. The candlelight is playing over it. Your pink lips are glistening. God, you look so sexy.” Be honest about what you see. Some experts believe you should stay away from complimenting her vagina altogether, sticking with “just the facts” of color, shape and texture. For example, “Your outer lips are a lighter pink and I see some moisture there. The entrance to your vagina is more of a rose color.” You will give her more by being honest than by making up half-hearted compliments, so feel perfectly free to just describe what her divine entrance looks like. Should you describe your woman’s vagina to her before every vaginal massage? It’s up to you. Just know that most women can’t hear enough of you singing the praises of this most precious part of her. This one practice may heal deep past wounds she’s carried for years.

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Catching the Wind

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ou’re in position on the bed and you’ve described your woman’s vagina to her. Before we go on, let’s talk about some skills, tips and tricks that are good to develop if you’re going to make your lovers’ love box sing. We’ll start with the nature of the creature lying before you: Every woman is different, so much so that sometimes you feel you’re trying to catch the wind when it comes to figuring them out. And they are creatures of the heart. They are their best when they are letting love flow through them and when they’re radiating love toward you. Not only are women different, but each can respond to your hands and heart differently, too, depending on factors as varied as the time of the month and the cycles of the moon. This ever-changing quality of women can be endlessly fascinating, especially if you promote it and don’t box them into a preconceived notion of who you think they should be. Some sexual guides deal with this mercurial quality of women by shying away from describing one particular technique, with the knowledge that any technique will only work well for a certain percentage of women at any given time. But men like roadmaps when it comes to this stuff. We’re baffled when what we did last week doesn’t work this week. Or when the moves that sent an old lover over joy’s edge leave our current lover yawning. I’m giving you a cookbook formula for a wonderful vaginal massage, knowing full well that you may be presented with a lover for which many of the specific techniques won’t be optimal, and that even if this formula works well 8 times out of 10 you’ll have to incorporate some mid-course corrections the other 20 percent of the time. Sex manuals suggesting that because women are so different there is really no way to approach them without asking endless questions and doing “body awareness” exercises leave most men at the least uncomfortable and at the worst ready to slit their

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throats. Spending hours getting to know her body is great. Structuring it as exercises can take the fun out of your explorations. There’s nothing wrong with diving in with an open heart and a playful attitude and learning as you go. Having said that, I’ll be passing along some fun and extremely valuable exercises that will help you become the lover your lover has always longed for. Approach them with a smile; know that for every minute you spend on them you’re becoming one of a handful of sexual geniuses on the planet. You might remember that it took some time to learn how to catch a football, too. Now let’s learn how to catch the wind.

Attitude Adjustments

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o much of this art has to do with your attitude and how well you can transmit your positive attitude through your eyes, voice, tongue and, most importantly, your hands. Many men—perhaps most—will initially feel uncomfortable massaging a woman’s vagina. After all, it’s delicate down there! And we’re just not used to this sort of thing. But you’re almost assured of a great outcome if you’ll approach your lover’s juice box with a playful, respectful attitude. So put a smile on your face. Acknowledge your ineptness. When your woman gives you feedback about something she’d like more than what you’re giving her, thank her and mean it. If alcoholic beverages tend to make you and your lover looser and more open to each other, then indulge a bit before the massage. A full-body erotic massage is even better. It will relax your partner and let you build confidence.

Parts Party

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s everyone knows, women are usually much better at communicating their emotional states than men. But they may not necessarily be comfortable telling

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina you how to give them more pleasure and, if this is new to them, they may not know what you need to do! One of the sexual challenges women continue to face is that if they give a voice to their longing for pleasure some men will see them as “bad girls”. That’s changing, but you may be with a woman who stifles herself in bed because she wants to appear to be a good girl. The time to talk about this is outside the bedroom, perhaps over a romantic dinner or walk together. Say something like: “I love you. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever encountered in my life. I want to give you all the pleasure you can handle, and it would feel great to see and hear you enjoying yourself when we’re having sex. Would you be up for letting yourself really enjoy sexual pleasure and letting me see it?” And see where that question leads.

Inside Information

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ere is one of those exercises I said I’d be passing along that will help your woman get over her “bad girl” hang up: Have your lover lie down and close her eyes. Start rubbing her feet with oil, giving her a relaxing foot massage. Say: “There’s a part of you, your sexual part, which knows exactly what it wants to be totally and completely satisfied. As you lie here relaxing, I want you to ask that part if it would be willing to talk about what it truly wants. Just ask it now, as you lay there relaxing, if your sexual part is willing to talk, and let me know if it is by nodding your head.” For her part, she should get some sort of inner signal, either a “yes” in her mind or a feeling in her body that the part is willing to talk. When she does, she nods her head. Now say:

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“Great. So let the part of you that is your sexual part tell me exactly what it wants to be completely satisfied. I want you to say whatever comes to mind. Just keep relaxing and talking until you feel the part has said everything it needs to say. Go ahead and start now.” As she lets her sexual part talk, show appreciation with an encouraging word if that’s what seems right, or just keep massaging her feet, mentally taking notes. When she’s done you can talk about what came up, or say something like, “That was awesome. Let’s talk about that sometime,” and keep rubbing her feet, or see if she’d like to try one of the activities her sex part described. This little exercise is an ice breaker. You may need to do it several times for your lover to feel comfortable with letting her sex part talk. If it is willing to tell you what it truly wants, the exercise will help her begin to loosen up with you (after all, it’s her sex part talking, not her!). If nothing happens when she asks her sex part to talk, or the part says, “No,” and won’t talk, that’s fine. Use the techniques in this book and hopefully you’ll find out what really turns her on as she becomes more comfortable in your hands.

Shrieking Good Time

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omen and men alike can make sounds during sex that might, to an outside observer, be a toss-up between pain and pleasure. You yourself may have made sounds during sex that your neighbor, if he didn’t know better, would indicate that your beloved was murdering you with a kitchen knife. Be aware there’s a fine line between pain and pleasure, and be sure to stay on the right side of it. Take in all her body language when you’re gauging if she’s in passion’s grip. And let her know that if whatever you’re doing is ever painful to tell you, “That hurts.”

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Easy Does It

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en and women alike thrive on positive reinforcement. So for most men it’s far better to hear phrases like, “that’s really good,” “oh, yes!!!,” “please keep that up, lover,” or “I love that, thank you, thank you!” vs. “not so hard!” or “can’t you slow down?” So encourage your lover to let you know at every opportunity when you are doing something right, and FILE THESE TIPS AWAY! This one practice will turn you into a better lover faster than any other. (Wisdom such as “You can’t succeed until you fail,” “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and “You learn more from your failures than your successes” come to mind.)

“F” as in Faster, “H” as in Harder

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hen a woman is giving you instructions to go “faster,” “slower,” “harder,” or “softer” she might mix these words up. So when she moans, “faster” she might really mean “harder” and when she says “softer” she might really mean “slower”. Before you decide to hang yourself, just be aware of this possibility. If you focus on keeping your heart and the communication between you two open, these bumps in the road won’t spoil your adventure.

Storm Watch

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he sensitivity of women’s clitorises varies as much as the weather on Mars. Some get little lightning bolts of sexual pleasure with the touch of a feather on their pink nub. Others need the kind of pressure you use when playing with your penis to reach K2 pleasure heights. www.energysexuality.com

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In general, the more aroused a woman is, the more pressure you can apply to her clitoris. So at first go really light when you are touching her love button. Only after she gives you signs that she’s enjoying herself should you apply more pressure. When you’re first practicing this art, it’s very helpful for her to use phrases such as: “Go a little faster, my lover.” “Go a little slower, my studley master.” “I can use a little more pressure, big boy.” “Lighten up a little, my darling.” Again, after awhile you probably won’t need these verbal cues, but at first they’re very helpful.

Speed Demons

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natural thought process for most men is, “If a little pressure is good, more is better.” Or, “if a little speed is good, a lot of speed is even better.” This isn’t the case. In fact, when massaging a vagina, start light and slow and only increase pressure and speed gradually. If you feel/see that your lover is in a good groove, stick with what you’re doing. Stick with it until she has an orgasm or until she tells you to change things up. After awhile, you may be able to “play” her velvet box like an instrument, and you’ll be able to vary your tender touches in ways she could never have imagined for herself, surprising and delighting her to new heights of ecstasy, but it takes awhile to get there.

Steady As She Goes

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nother natural instinct for men is to vary what they’re doing during a vaginal massage. They think it will get boring to keep up the same rhythm or

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina speed. However, most women like steady, unvaried strokes, at least for awhile. The bottom line is: if she’s moaning and breathing hard and enjoying herself, keep doing what you’re doing until something happens that makes you believe she’s not enjoying herself as much anymore. One benefit of this strategy is that when she says, “faster,” “slower,” “harder,” or “softer” you’ll have a baseline from which to make your next moves.

Hand Gestures

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t probably goes without saying, but you need to take a good look at your hands and be honest about their ability to softly caress parts of your lover that are much more sensitive than any area on your penis. Clip your nails short, and wait a day for them to naturally smooth off before raiding your baby’s treasure chest. Be sure to clip off any hang nails, and clean your nails so there is only white underneath their tips. If you work at a job that makes your hands rough, start to moisturize them every

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Make sure your nails are trimmed short and your hands are squeaky clean. If your hands are rough, moisturize them.

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day with hand lotion, especially before bed. If they are still rough and callused, get some gloves from the pharmacy section to wear.

Sidelined

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here’s something you should know. When you first start doing vaginal massages you might feel a sense of resentment toward the process and perhaps your lover. When you start pleasing your woman’s juice box with your hands, and she starts enjoying the hell out of herself, you consciously or subconsciously may think, “Shouldn’t my penis be giving her this pleasure?” You may feel like less of a man because she’s enjoying herself more than you’ve ever seen her enjoy herself, and you are on the sidelines, so to speak. The solution is to keep an open heart and a playful attitude and see where this takes your love life. Chances are you’ll become a much more confident lover, and she will start responding to your penis like never before.

Lip Service

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ow that you’re better equipped to handle the varying nature of your lover(s) during your vaginal massages, let’s get back to our cookbook formula for sending your honey to heaven… You’ve just described your woman’s vagina to her. Your left hand is on her heart, right hand on your lap, warmed lubricant by your side. You are breathing energy down through the crown of your head, into your chest and out through your hands. Taking your hand from her heart, open the lubricant, and squirt about two tablespoons of it onto the fingers of your right hand, spreading the lube over them, waiting for it to cool to the right temperature if need be. Set the lube aside. Rest your

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left hand on your lap. Begin by massaging her right outer labia lip with your right hand. Bring your thumb and index finger to the bottom of the lip and gently pinch it between your fingers. Now slide your fingers, the lip between them, up the lip to the top of her pinkened preciousness, then back down. Do this slowly, with great concentration. Put just enough pressure on the lip to grip it and give your fingers control. Go up and down four times, and then repeat on the left outer labia lip. Come back to the right side of her love box and massage the right inner labia lip in the same way, sliding your thumb and index finger from the bottom of the lip to the top and back down four times; move to the left inner lip and repeat. Next, grip the center of her right and left outer labia lips with your right and left thumbs and fingers, and pull the lips out to the sides, toward her inner thighs, www.energysexuality.com

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as if carefully stretching a rubber band. When you’ve stretched them to the point where they stop giving easily, let your fingers slip off the edges. (As a man, you might wonder why this feels good to a woman. Me too, but it does.) You can practice this move with your lower lip: Grab your lip between your thumb and index finger and pull. Once your lip is stretched to its full length let your fingers slide off. After you’ve massaged her vaginal lips, take a moment to center yourself. Breath in and out, again feeling /imagining the energy moving down from the crown of your head into your chest, up into your shoulders and then down your arms and hands, and out your fingertips. This does four things: Trains you to move energy in your body, keeps you focused, builds anticipation within your lover, and gives her time to enjoy the sensations you’ve already raised in her.

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Butterfly Effect

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ext, open the bottle of clitoral stimulating gel and squeeze a pea-sized drop on the tip of your left index finger. Set the bottle aside and gently, gently rub the gel over your lover’s clitoris. After coating her clitoris with gel, put more lubricant on the fingertips of your left hand. Now move your left index finger to the right side of her clitoral hood, and your left middle finger onto her clitoral head, so it rests on her ”Butterfly Spot” (The left upper quadrant of her clitoris). On many women the Butterfly Spot is the most nerve-rich area of the clitoris, the chocolate center of her Tootsie Pop. Ground zero for sex artists. Make friends with it. Learn its every whim and desire. Master it, and your life will get easier.

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Products like Excite Gel™ make the clitoris more sensitive.

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A PINK NUB PRIMER

In this illustration, the clitoral hood is being pulled back to expose the clitoris.

The only way to know if the upper left corner of your lover’s clitoris is super sensitive is to set aside some time where you can gently do a re-con of this until-now secret terrain. This is highly recommended. (If possible, do this before your first vaginal massage, as a separate activity, or sometime after your first massage, but don’t make it part of the massage itself.) Start with a playful, adventurous attitude. Put her in the mood for sensual pleasure. A massage, cuddling, slow dancing or a foot rub would be good. Oh, and lots of lubrication. Say something like: “Sweetheart, I love every little bit of you. And I want to know how to turn you into a puddle of love. So I’m about to concentrate all of my attention on your love button, and I want you to let me know when I touch a part of it that’s especially sensitive. Sound good?”

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NUMBERS GAME Start by coating your left index finger with lubrication and rub the tip of your index finger along the right side of her clitoral shaft, starting at the mons pubis and stroking down toward her love button, and then back up. Say: “I’m rubbing the right side of your clitoral hood. On a scale of one to ten, with one being pleasant and ten being the most sensitive spot on your body, what would this be?” Let her take all the time she needs until she can give you a number. Now move to the left side of her clitoral hood, rubbing the shaft underneath, and let her give you another number. Once you’ve rubbed her sex doorbell through the hood covering it, move your finger to her clitoral head. If you’ve never done this sort of thing before, you may not know where to find her clitoris. Pat yourself on the back for going beyond your comfort zone, and ask her to show you, and while you’re at it, have her pull her clitoral hood back so you can actually see her clit. (Note: There are a few women that are so sensitive they won’t be able to take direct stimulation of their clitorises, even when you touch it as lightly as possible. In this case, use a large dollop of lubricant over the entire clitoris, and stroke your finger over the lube, never touching the flesh. When you go to massage such a woman’s vagina, only stroke her clitoris through the clitoral hood covering it, using lots of lubrication.) Deliberately, with extremely fine movements, stroke the bottom left, bottom right, top right and top left areas of her clitoris, each time giving her all the time she needs until she can give you a number for the new area you’re stroking. If her clitoris is hidden underneath her clitoral hood, see the next paragraph for instructions. (And if you’ve never done this sort of thing before because

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you thought it would be about as much fun as cleaning the bottom of your sneakers, hang in there. Your life is about to get easier.) Assuming she likes it when you stroke her clitoris, put more lubrication on your right fingertip, and use the fingers of your left hand to pull the hood The clitoral hood usually covers the clitoris of her clitoris back, toward her fully or partially. Imagine the clit as a pea-sized mons pubis. This should expose circle and do your best to isolate the top left, bottom left, bottom right and top right sections. more of her love button. Stroke the four areas of her clitoris again, and see if the numbers go up, or if pulling the hood back makes her clit too sensitive. Again, it’s crucial that she tells you when you find any “jackpot” spots, and that you remember where they are. If she’s like most women, her Butterfly Spot will be at the top of the list, with perhaps one or two other areas that shout for joy when your fingertip comes calling. After a ten to fifteen minute exploration of your honey’s sexual ground zero, you’ll know it better than any man who’s ever set a Here the hood is pulled back, giving you easier finger to this hallowed ground. access to the different areas of the clitoris.

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Fly Boys

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f you haven’t taken the time to see what part of her clitoris is most sensitive, or if you have and it was the Butterfly Spot, start rubbing the upper left quadrant of her clitoris with an up and down motion, using your left middle finger. Let your left index finger slide up and down beside it, along the right side of her clitorial hood. Use a steady pressure and rhythm. (If another part of her clitoris was even more sensitive, rub that spot.)

If you’ve ever seen the pendulum of a grandfather clock swing back and forth, that’s the kind of unvarying rhythm you want to maintain. Most women find this steady approach puts them in the fast lane on the orgasm highway. Some prefer a road with more twists and turns, but at first go with the percentages. You can ask in a minute or two, “Would you like me to change the pressure or rhythm I’m using?” Ask her to use sounds (“Oooohhhh…” “Ahhhhhh…”) and phrases like, “That’s Great” or “Perfect” to give you clues that she’s liking what you’re doing. If she wants you to do something different have her use polite phrases such as, “Softer, please” or “A little slower.”

Entering The Wild

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nce you have your left fingers going, say: “I’m going to gently insert my finger into your vagina now.” (If you have a pet name for her love glove, by all means use it.) By telling her what you’re going to do you are, again, building trust. She knows what’s coming and she can relax into the sensation of you entering her moist love channel. So now, as if you were a safecracker and you’ll go to jail if you make a

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sloppy move, gently, intently, consciously insert the tip of your right index finger into your woman’s vagina. Hold it there for three deep, focused breaths. You might say: “Open yourself for me. Spread your legs a bit and offer yourself as a gift to me.” As she opens her legs, slowly move your finger all the way in. Take all the time you want. The more anticipation you build the better. Her vaginal canal will also appreciate a slow entrance, as it will allow it to stay relaxed. A fast entry of either a finger or penis makes some women subconsciously shut down to protect themselves from rough handling. Save any rough stuff until she’s wet, juicy and opened. Now turn your hand counterclockwise so the palm is facing down toward the bed and move it all the way in, with your right index finger pressing down against the bottom of your woman’s vagina. This will stretch her vagina and clitoris, making them more sensitive. Begin massaging the highly sensitive tissue at the bottom of her vagina by slowly moving your finger back and forth in a sweeping motion, covering the bottom of her vagina with your strokes. Do this 20 times, or for about 2 minutes. I’m giving you a cookbook formula here, but if you feel she would enjoy less or more time, you can adjust accordingly. You should also ask her, “How’s that pressure?” “Would you like me to go slower or faster?” And, before you move on, “Would you like me to spend some more time on this part of you?” Again, the more comfortable you get the less coaching you’ll need. You’ll come to know how your woman is likely to respond to different pressures, rhythms, strokes and finger placements. Always encourage her to let you know what feels good or doesn’t while you’re playing in her lush flesh fields, and ask her about how to improve your technique at other times, such as over dinner, during a walk or driving to the grocery store. These are good times to float different ideas (“What if when I was massaging the bottom of your love box I vibrated my finger instead of using a sweeping kind of stroke?”). Not to belabor the point, but you may feel that by asking such questions you will

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina seem incompetent. Or you may feel you are already an expert at parting your lover’s pink petals, and don’t need to ask. The truth is, when most men first start pleasuring their lover like this, they are incompetent. As noted above, the quickest way to mastery is to get as much feedback as possible, as soon as possible, from your partner.

Spot Removal

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hen you first start doing vaginal massages concentrate on perfecting this sweeping back and forth stroke. It’s all you need to do for the bottom and sides of a woman’s vagina. Eventually, develop a feel for variations in the walls and base of her vagina. There will be small tight spots, little indentations and even “hot” spots that are warmer than the surrounding tissue. Most typically you’ll notice small raised areas that are relatively hard. What are these irregularities on the walls of your woman’s vagina? Our bodies “store” emotional traumas. Oftentimes these areas of special texture are holding residual tension from physical, mental or emotional traumas, usually having to do with sex or giving birth. One woman told me that when her lover first massaged her vagina it brought up memories of a painful sexual encounter she’d had with an extremely well-hung man. As her lover massaged her she felt a release. “It felt like something gave way, and then I became more responsive. Way more juicy,” she said, noting that as her lover got better at vaginal massage, her honey jar kept getting more responsive. “I started being able to relax into orgasm after orgasm. I even started ejaculating. Now it feels like my pussy vibrates after he’s been massaging it for a while.” You can help your lover by relaxing these stored areas of trauma. (See Chapter 22) After massaging the bottom of your lover’s enchanted room, move your finger to

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its right side wall. The tissue here may be slicker. Again, slide your finger up to the top of the wall and then back down in a sweeping motion. Do twenty strokes up and down, and then repeat for the left wall. At this time your left finger should be caressing your lover’s clitoris in a slow, steady rhythm and your right index finger should have pampered the bottom, right and left walls her love canal. Now turn your right hand clockwise so the tip of your index finger rests up against your woman’s G-spot. As you probably know, this is a quarter-sized spot about one to two inches in from the vaginal opening, on the “roof ” of the vagina. It should feel different from other tissues you’ve been feeling, having a rougher texture and a “spongy” feel. Although the G-spot varies in feel and location from woman to woman, you should be able to notice a difference in the texture of the tissues here. If this is a new lover, explore this area in the same manner as described above for exploring a clitoris: Gently insert your well-lubricated finger into her vagina and press it up against its roof. Work your way methodically around the area and ask her to tell you when you’re on the most sensitive spot, if there is one. If there is, remember it and concentrate on it when papering your baby’s erotic cubby hole.

Stroke Of Genius

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he basic stroke for the G-spot is, as you probably know, a “come here” motion, where you curl your index finger up into the roof of your lover’s sweet spot, toward you. It is as if you were using your finger to let someone know they should come to you. Try this now: Hold your right hand in front of you and make the “come here” gesture with your index finger. Imagine that you’re using the tip of your finger to massage up into your woman’s G-spot.

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina Imagine now putting a slight upward lift to the tip of your finger as you stroke toward you. This is the motion you’ll use. During your pink slit voyages you can keep your right index finger fully inserted the whole time, curling your finger up into the G-spot. Or you can stroke your finger in and curl the tip up against the G-spot as you pull your finger part way out, and then repeat. Experiment with the two strokes to see what works best for the object of your desire. Most women prefer that you use two fingers to pleasure their g-spots, so after awhile, once things are nice and wet and hot, slip your middle finger into her ecstatic party place Also, most sexual guides caution against using your fingers to mimic the stroking action of your penis sliding in and out of the vagina, but some women love this in/out stroking motion. The key is to stroke in and out while angling your finger(s) up into her G-spot, versus “poking” straight in and out so that your fingers miss the nerve rich area altogether.

Points, Set, Match

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ow you’re set: as your left middle finger moves down her clitoris, your right index and middle fingers move up and back into her vagina, so the tips of your fingers are at the back of her G-spot. As your left middle finger moves up her clitoris toward her mons pubis, your right index finger moves forward, toward

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you, across her G-spot, stroking along its length. (Your right index and middle fingers remain in her slickened crevasse at all times.) Relax into a nice, gentle, slow, steady massage, with your fingers slipping over your lover’s hot button and into her wet sweetness. If you’ve pampered her mind and body with great foreplay your woman will hopefully reach an orgasm in five to twenty minutes. Once she does keep massaging until she has another, and another and another…If she needs a change of pace or pressure as you continue along, use the tips given above about her guiding your strokes. (Note: You may have to stop stroking her clitoris for awhile after she orgasms, as it can become too sensitive. If that’s the case, keep stroking her g-spot, and then come back to her clit.) Keep doing what you’re doing until you sense it’s time to do something else. For example, if your woman has had several orgasms in a row and then she stops having orgasms for a few minutes, you might try slowing down to a snail’s pace and instruct her to breath down into her love box, bringing her attention back to her ecstatic playground. Stay present. Pretend you’re playing a fine instrument. You might bend down so that your face is directly over her vagina and focus like a laser on what you’re doing.

Varied Lot

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ere are some other options for changing up your technique:

Stroke very slowly for five minutes or more until your woman begs you to go faster. • Stroke very slowly and gradually build to a faster rhythm. • After your woman has had several orgasms, take your fingers from her clitoris and go slow and deep with your G-spot strokes. • Instead of just stroking the Butterfly Spot, use three fingers to stroke the left, bottom/ top and right sides of her clitoris.

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Recipe for Success / How to Massage your Lover’s Vagina

•

Using three fingers, vibrate your left hand over her clitoris as you keep a steady rhythm on her G-spot

•

By “vibrating” I

mean keep your fingers in place while you move your hand back and forth as quickly as possible. There should be very little movement of your fingertips.

Practice

by

placing your fingers on a desk or tabletop. Keep them in place as you move your hand quickly back and forth in extremely small

movements,

as

quickly as you can. • Stop stroking her clitoris, vibrate your finger(s) into her G-spot (keep the finger(s) pressed into the fireworks zone and move it/them in the vibrating motion described above). As she starts to orgasm begin stroking her clitoris again. As you can imagine, these variations are endless, and in the chapters ahead you’ll learn more tips and tricks to make your massages more magical. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Four Looks Like Love

Dressing Your Lover for Vaginal Massage

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Looks Like Love / Dressing Your Lover for Vaginal Massage

Bare Essentials

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s mentioned above, some women do not feel comfortable lying on a bed completely naked. And very few women don’t appreciate a special piece of lingerie. So why not buy her something particularly beautiful for these special sessions with you? The best choice is a “teddy” (go online to Adam and Eve and type “teddies” into the search box to see examples of this design). It’s a top that usually accentuates the breasts in some way, but only comes to the waistline, allowing you easy access to the treasure trove lying beneath. One style that works particularly well is a simple, loose design that ties around her neck, with a plunging neckline. The fabric covers her breasts, but can easily be moved out of the way (unlike the cups of a bra), when you want to caress her chest. www.energysexuality.com

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You’ll want to gift wrap the lingerie and give it to her before your first vaginal massage session. (Note: e-bay has a huge selection of new and used women’s lingerie, and they have a policy that all used lingerie must be thoroughly laundered or dry cleaned. I’ve purchased $80 Victoria’s Secret Bridal pieces in brand new condition for $8 on e-bay auctions.) If you give her the teddy right before massaging her, stand up straight, breath into your belly, look into her eyes like she is a prize that you’re about to take, and say: “Put this on,” in your deepest, sexiest voice. Why the drama? You’re using your masculinity to create an atmosphere where you’re completely in charge. This allows her to stop thinking, and sink into a state where she can relax and enjoy herself. Your lover’s comfort is the most important consideration when helping her get ready for

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Looks Like Love / Dressing Your Lover for Vaginal Massage

your erotic body work. So if the room is cool or she would just feel more comfortable, she can wear a sweater or sweatshirt. If her feet tend to get cold, buy her some soft, fluffy socks (but nothing too tight). You want her to feel as comfortable and sexy as possible. So if she’d feel more comfortable and sexy in your old sweatshirt and gym socks, great.

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Chapter Five Doing It in the Dark Using Blindfolds and Headphones

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Doing It in the Dark / Using Blindfolds and Headphones

Vision Quest

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simple sleep mask from the pharmacy placed over your lover’s eyes might

help her relax. Have one handy, and let her know that if she’d be more comfortable blindfolded you’d be happy to slip it on. Ideally you wouldn’t use it for your first vaginal massage, because you’ll want to know how she’s reacting

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to what you’re doing, and eye contact is a great way to communicate. (Note: most women squeeze their eyes closed when they climax. Encourage yours to look into your eyes at that time for a wonderfully intimate moment.) However, again, if a mask would make her more comfortable, slip one on. After you’ve done several vaginal massages together, definitely try the mask. It should allow her to concentrate on all the great feelings you’re giving her, and increase her ability to let go and enjoy pure pleasure. You won’t know until you try.

Blindfold Confidential Sex writer Michael Castleman gives some interesting thoughts on blindfolds. He notes that while most men love to watch sexually charged visual images (for example, pornography and women in lingerie), the sense most women find most arousing is sensual touch. “It’s the feel of intimacy that excites women: silk on the skin, a hot bath…warm fuzzy robes, and extended kissing and cuddling with lots of gentle caresses all over… blindfold most women, and they can often turn inward and find that it helps them experience loving touch more intimately,” he notes. “As a result, sex with the woman blindfolded is often a win-win. He gets to see her in all her glory, and deprived of sight, she can focus more deeply on the joy of being touched.”

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Doing It in the Dark / Using Blindfolds and Headphones

Ear Candy

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s a rule communication is so important when you first start mastering vaginal massage that you’ll want to look into your lover’s eyes and talk with her. But once you two get in sync, introducing headphones, like blindfolds, may let your woman escape to parts unknown easier. A blindfold with headphones heightens this effect. For some women, this combination is transformative, allowing them to blow past their normal sexual boundaries. A nice set-up: Place some noise-cancelling headphones connected to your favorite smart phone or MP3 player over your lover’s head and ears, then slip a blindfold over them to anchor the headphones in place.

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Chapter Six Touching Me, Touching You Encouraging Your Lover to Play With Herself

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Touching Me, Touching You / Encouraging Your Lover To Play With Herself

Finger Food

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our woman wants to let go. That might include letting go of the need for you to push all her pleasure buttons. She’s probably good at playing with her clitoris, so give her the chance. At some point, remove your left hand from her clitoris and use it to bring the hand she’s most comfortable with to her mons pubis. Place her fingers on her clitoris. Say: “Play with yourself for me.” Now concentrate on massaging her vagina as she takes care of her own clitoral stimulation. Watch how she plays with herself. Outside of the bedroom, ask her about her favorite self-strokes (“I noticed that you used your index and middle fingers to kind of strum your clitoris from side to side, like you were playing a guitar. Is that something you’d like me to try?”). Invaluable information. Some women, especially after you’ve given them several orgasms, will have even bigger orgasms by stroking their own clitorises. You play with it first, letting her really relax and let go. Then you put her hand where you want it, and see if this brings her to a new level of excitement. And if she’s having too good a time in your hands to bother stroking herself, relax: You must be doing something right. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Seven Animal Instincts Doggie Style Vaginal Massage

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Animal Instincts / Doggie Style Vaginal Massage

Back In Action

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nd now for a completely different experience. Imagine this: You’ve arranged two pillows lengthwise on the bed, end to end. You’ve guided your sweetheart onto them, and now she’s relaxing there, her rear end elevated, her legs spread to either side of the pillows. She’s feeling helpless to resists your advances. She wants to feel helpless. She’s always yearned to offer her backside to a man who knows what he’s doing and sink further and further into blissful pleasure. Completely letting go, as the man pleasured her from the rear. You’re feeling like you have the whole world at your feet. It’s a power you’ve longed for, and you know exactly what to do. Here’s how it’s done: Spend as much time as it takes to connect with your partner on a heart-to-heart level. While the description that follows sounds like you just lay her down and go to town, I’m assuming you’ve connected with your lover and she’s ready to relax and let go.

Positioned For Greatness

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rrange your lover as described above. Put a pillow under her head so she can comfortably lie on her stomach. If she has neck problems and doesn’t like her head turned to the side for extended periods, arrange the pillow so that her forehead is supported by the pillow and she’s looking straight down www.energysexuality.com

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toward the bed. Spend time massaging your lover’s inner and outer thighs and the backs of her legs, using lots of warm massage oil and running your hands from her knees up to her buttocks. Use long, slow strokes. Now gently massage her rear end. Take a cheek in each hand. As you move the left cheek up toward her head, move the right cheek down toward her feet. Then pull the left cheek down and push the right cheek up. Continue this up and down motion for a minute. Then spread her ass mounds to the sides, stretching them gently, before squishing them softly together. Do this for a minute, then use your fingertips to gently press into the ccenter of her sweet cheeks. Use your fingers to make small circles, massaging the flesh beneath them with gentle circular motions. Every so often let the outer edge of your hand (the side you’d use to land a karate chop) slide into the crack between her cheeks and slide your hand up and down, massaging her anus.

Slip’n Slide

S

pend five to ten minutes massaging your lover’s legs and rear end. Then switch from oil to lubricant. Warm it in the microwave for ten to fifteen seconds, testing it on your wrists to make sure it’s the right temperature. Now turn the bottle facing down

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Animal Instincts / Doggie Style Vaginal Massage and squeeze hard, sending a stream of lubricant cascading down into her rear ravine, until the heated lube flows down over her vagina, soaking it.

Deep Cover

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iberally lubricate your right thumb. Position yourself on your knees, so you’re above your lover’s left pelvis. Drape your left arm over her at the waistline, and pull her right hip toward you. Let her know she’s supported. She’s not going anywhere, so she can relax into your powerful prodding. Now poise your right thumb at the entrance to your lover’s vagina. Tell her you’re about to enter. After waiting a few seconds to build anticipation, gently slip your thumb in, letting it slide over the first third of her G-spot. Slowly and deliberately, start stroking her G-spot with the pad of your thumb. Every four or five strokes let it sink in a little deeper. The shape of your thumb will allow you to easily massage this area. Establish a nice steady rhythm, and then let your index and third fingers begin to slide on either side of her clitoral hood, with your middle finger rubbing her Butterfly Spot. Continue like this, keeping communication open, making mid-course corrections as necessary, until your lover sinks into an orgasm. Repeat, repeat, with variations in your strokes as necessary. For women into hard and fast penetration (there are not as many of them as you might think), this position is perfect for plunging your thumb in and out in a piston-like rhythm:

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Squeeze her pelvis into you with your left arm to stabilize it and stroke hard and fast, the pad of your thumb pressing into her G-spot with every stroke.

Varied Menu

S

ome variations to try with doggie style vaginal massage: • Slip a small butt plug (or a small vibrating butt plug) into your woman’s dainty pink hole before inserting your thumb into her vagina. The plug will increase the pressure of your thumb on her G-spot. • Ask your woman to come up onto all fours and push her rear backward. Gently push your thumb all the way into her until you reach the back wall of her vagina. There you’ll find a hard mound about three quarters the size of a golf ball. This is your lover’s cervix, the entrance to her uterus. Use the pad of your thumb to stroke up and down. CAUTION: Many women have extremely sensitive cervixes, and to rub them at all will cause immediate pain. A few women will have highly sensitive cervixes, but will experience exquisitely pleasurable orgasms from you gently massaging this deep seated pleasure depot. And still others will, if you gently massage their cervixes several times over a period of weeks or months, find that the initial pain or tenderness goes away, leading to intense orgasms unlike any they’ve ever experienced. Again, when you massage your lover’s cervix, go gently, and ask her repeatedly if what you’re doing feels good. Once you are using your thumb to stroke this buried treasure with soft up and down strokes, use the fingers of the same hand to massage her clitoris in rhythm. So as your thumb strokes up from the top of her cervix toward the bottom of

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Animal Instincts / Doggie Style Vaginal Massage her vagina (from the front of her body to the back, toward you), your fingers slide up her clitoris toward her mons pubis. As your thumb strokes up, your fingers slide down. • While you’re massaging her vagina and clitoris, take safety precautions, then bend down and tongue her rear entrance, licking its perimeter or perhaps plunging inside. (See Chapter Eight for more thoughts on licking your lover’s caboose.) • This is an excellent bondage position (more on this below). Once your lover is lying on her stomach and her head is supported, tie her spread-eagle to the bed and let your thumb swan dive into her helpless wetness.

Why some women don’t like doggie style If your lover doesn’t like doggie style, it may be because of one of the following reasons (time for a talk!)… • She thinks it’s degrading, because a lot of animals mate in this position, and she doesn’t want to feel like she’s being treated like an animal. • She feels that she must be submissive in this position, and she’d rather have sex in positions that make her feel more equal with you. • She prefers positions allowing you both to easily kiss and make eye contact for more emotional connection. • She is self-conscious about the shape of her body, and doesn’t like her breasts and stomach dangling toward the bed, which makes her feel unattractive. • She doesn’t trust you enough to have so much power and control over her. On the other hand, some women feel this way: “It’s animalistic and can stir fierce passion. Nothing better than a guy so lost in passion that he is ramming his... Sorry. What was I saying? It’s a wonderful position to feel completely dominated in.”

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Chapter Eight Back Door Delivery Vaginal Massage With Anal Play

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Back Door Delivery / Vaginal Massage With Anal Play

Test Run

L

iberally lubricate your index and middle fingers with your favorite water based lubricant. Now pull down your pants and underwear. Stick your lubricated fingers into your bum hole. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Did you enjoy that? Seriously, before you try to persuade your woman to let you finger her anus, you should do the experiment above, or let her finger yours, just so you get a sense of how this feels to her. Some women like or even love anal penetration. They are in the minority. At the time of this writing the latest statistics showed that only forty percent of women have tried anal sex, and there are no good statistics on how many enjoyed it. That being said, if your woman likes anal play, adding anal stimulation to your vaginal massages--or adapting vaginal massage techniques to anal play--will weave a new universe of sensations into her sensual times with you. And if your woman doesn’t like anal play now, she might come to enjoy it, if you take your time and gently work with her to open this new sexual frontier.

Private Showing

W

ith the caveat that because anal stimulation/penetration is such a private, individual experience that there are no cookbook formulas that work for every woman, here’s a great way to use your vaginal massage skills if you know she likes anal play: Warm your water-based lubricant in the microwave for ten to fifteen seconds. www.energysexuality.com

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Arrange your partner as you would for a vaginal massage. Using your well-lubricated index finger, begin massaging her anal sphincter, moving your finger around it in slow circles. Apply just enough pressure so that the tissue beneath your finger stretches inward a bit. After a minute or two, let your fingertip rest at her rear entrance. Say: “I’m going to slip my finger in now.” Slowly slide just the tip of your finger into her back chamber. Slip it in just to the first knuckle and begin moving your finger tip in a circular motion, swirling it around. Ask, “Is this good for you?” Show your woman’s anus respect, and she might let you play there more often. If everything is going well, tell her: “Squeeze my finger tight.”

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Back Door Delivery / Vaginal Massage With Anal Play As she squeezes her anus around your finger, tell her: “That’s right…squeeze it tighter, tighter, really squeeze…and now relax.” As with any other muscle, by squeezing it first, the sphincter will relax that much easier. Up to now, having moved one-knuckle’s length into her anus, you’ve encountered the tight ring of muscles making up the outer anus. Now move your finger in up to the second knuckle. This will bring the tip of your finger past this muscular ring into the slick tissues of the colon. Again, take your time and swirl your finger, stirring it in her. You can always ask, “Is this good for you, Sweetheart?” during these very intimate moments, especially when first experimenting with anal massage. If everything is going well, slowly move your finger all the way in, and ask if that’s OK. If it is, bring your finger out, squirt more lube on it, and re-insert it. Now start moving your finger in and out. As you do, start massaging her Butterfly Spot with your left hand. Stroke the spot with the same motion as in a vaginal massage. (Some women will prefer that you continue to swirl your finger rather than using an in and out motion. Find out if this is true for your lover.) Continue stroking until she orgasms or lets you know, either verbally or nonverbally, she’d like to do something else. If she orgasms, you can continue to do what you’ve been doing and see if she’ll come again. Or you can ask, “Do you want me to do some more of that?” Whatever you need to do, make sure you don’t overstay your welcome.

Spa Treatment

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hen it’s time to close the back door, slowly remove your finger, counting “one-thousand-one, one thousand-two” to a count of five as you gently slide your finger out. Now go to the bathroom, wash your hands, and rinse a washcloth

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in hot water. Come back to your baby’s rear, gently pressing the warm cloth between her ass cheeks for several seconds, and then gently wipe it up toward her back. This last gentle gesture will be much appreciated, especially if followed by a lot of kissing and cuddling.

WELCOME WAGON

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ow here’s a recipe for servicing a woman who has never enjoyed anal play, but wants to try it with you. She wants to try it because you’ve taken her to sensual paradises she’s never been before, and she trusts you. She knows you’ll treat her “other luscious mouth of nature” like it was a delicate flower and you are the summer sun, ready to open it. Start with a lighthearted, adventurous, playful attitude. This should be fun. If your woman would like some wine or champagne beforehand, buy a bottle of her favorite and spend time enjoying it with her. Afterwards, give her a full-body massage. While you’re massaging her, spend some time massaging her rear end as outlined above. Set the tone for what’s to come by being extremely gentle and loving. Let her feel your adoration for her through your hands. Bring your full consciousness to what you’re doing, breathing deeply, and feeling the energy moving into your hands. Complement her bottom’s lusciousness. Say something like: “Wow, my hands are in heaven.” Now is the time to decide if you’d like to tongue her rear opening. Completely optional, of course. Use a dental dam or a condom cut down its length and spread over her pink chocolate entrance ( put personal lubricant between her and the condom to make for better sensations). Kneel between her spread legs, gently spread her cheeks, lean down, and begin tonguing the entrance between them, drawing slow circles around

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Back Door Delivery / Vaginal Massage With Anal Play the tight rim. After a minute or two, if you have a hankering for it, stick your tongue in, circling the tip of your tongue around the inside. Spread her luscious buns wider and begin moving your tongue slowly in and out of her. Like martinis, this is an acquired taste. Don’t feel compelled to dip into these dark waters. And know that if you like lapping here, your lover may not appreciate it. She may feel too self conscious to enjoy the sensations your tongue gives her when pulling into this private parking space.

Deep Water Diving

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nd that might be all you do for her first anal play with you. If she’s had rough, incompetent treatment in the past, this will establish a safe feeling around you playing with her rear. The next time, do the same thing, but take it a step further. Insert your finger one-knuckle’s deep into her sweet bum, circling the sphincter, loosening it up for a few minutes, and then slowly withdraw your fingertip. Take her in your arms, cuddle her, and tell how great she did. Ask her if she liked it. Ask her if she’d like to go further. The next time, go two-knuckles in. You get the idea. Be patient. Play like this until she’s really comfortable with her rear end being penetrated. Talk to her about it outside of the bedroom and see where she’s at. “So what do you think, are you enjoying the anal play?” “Do you think I can go deeper next time?” “Is there anything that would make it more enjoyable?” If she’s into it, take your time in your explorations, because she’s a Princess and you treasure her. Show her that you realize this is a big deal, and you want to make it a great experience for her, perhaps a healing experience. Over time she may get to love anal play. But if not, please don’t make her feel bad about it. Just use your creativity to find other ways to play and connect.

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Risk And You Shall Receive

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nother idea for great anal play: After a half hour or so of vaginal massage, having enjoyed several orgasms, your woman will most likely be relaxed, comfortable, and yearning to do anything for you. This might be an excellent time to experiment with anal massage. As with everything anal, talk with her.

Two Timing

A

nal penetration can also be incorporated into your vaginal massages. Imagine this: You’ve been giving her a great vaginal massage for a half hour. She’s coming like crazy. You insert your pinky finger into her rear end as you continue stroking her G- and Butterfly Spots. She comes harder. You slip an inflatable vibrating butt plug into her. She starts squirming on the bed like she’s possessed, moaning and screaming. You turn the vibration on high. More orgasms. You give the bulb controlling the butt plug two big squeezes. More fireworks. You get the idea. Be creative, be careful, and have fun.

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Back Door Delivery / Vaginal Massage With Anal Play

The Long Way Home

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ne last anal maneuver: As described above, a wonderful position for vaginal massage is to position your lover on her stomach, with several pillows beneath her, so her luscious behind is sitting prettily up in the air, ripe for your ravishment. In this variation, insert your well-lubricated index finger into her anus, and, using the same “come here” motion as you would to stroke her G-spot in vaginal massage, stroke it through the front wall of her anus. If you’re wondering, “Can I really do that?,” you can, but be very careful, take your time and ask your lover if she’s OK along the way. For example, once your finger is all the way in, tell her: “I’m going to massage your G-spot. Let me know if this feels good.” Then gently prod your finger into the roof of her vagina, carefully stretching the tissue between your finger and your target. Take your time, stretching the tissue a bit more with each small stroke, until you’re massaging the fireworks zone. At the same time, reach underneath her belly with your left hand and bring the fingertips of your left hand to her clitoris. Start massaging it with your left fingertips while stroking her G-spot with your right index finger through her anus. This technique will produce earthquake-like orgasms for women who enjoy anal penetration. A last word on anal sex from an article by Taffy Brodesser-Akner in Cosmopolitan Magazine: “And here is where we get to my most profound discovery on the subject of anal sex: That whereas there are emotional implications to any kind of sex we have, anal sex is a true test of trust because it could go so badly wrong. The women I spoke to who were in relationships and mutually decided with their partner to have anal sex talked about it being a profound experience. The ones who just got a “can we?” and a poke in the butt felt horrible pain. Maybe anal sex is more than I considered it could be — a chance to come together in a new way, to feel new heights of trust, a zenith of emotional bonding.” www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Nine All In Progressive Finger Play

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www.pdscourses.com All In / Progressive Finger Play

One, And Counting

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t the start of a vaginal massage it’s best to use just your index finger to rub your lover’s G-spot. Soon thereafter, however, most women enjoy two fingers, providing things are heating and ‘wetting’ up nicely. It’s a way to easily intensify the sensations bubbling up in her love box (just be cautious, easing your fingers in and moving them gently). Eventually you’ll want to experiment with three fingers, best done after your woman has had several orgasms (again, be cautious and fully present). Lastly, when things are hot and heavy and she’s coming like a freight train loaded with uranium--and if she likes anal sex—you can slip your pinky finger into her anus while you are rubbing her G-spot with one, two or three fingers. As the size of your fingers and the size of your partner’s love crevice will determine the best number of fingers to use, and this might change from session to session, it’s wise during your first few vaginal massages to ask, “Is this good for you, Babe?” as you go from one to two, from two to three, and from three to incorporating pinky anal penetration. After awhile you’ll know. And she always has the option of requesting what she wants. Often this progressive type of fingering produces a crescendo of orgasms, one more powerful than the next. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Ten Water Works

Helping Your Lover to Squirt

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Water Works / Helping Your Lover to Squirt

Join The Party

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s we all know by now, some women ejaculate during an orgasm. I almost wrote “have the ability to ejaculate”, but as time goes on it seems that this isn’t so much a genetic predisposition as a learned skill. It’s an amazing testament to the power of pop culture, including pornography, that so many women are discovering this new kind of orgasm. As in the famous example of the “unbreakable” four-minute mile, in which it was thought impossible for anyone to run a mile in less than four minutes, as soon as one athlete did it, many more did it in the following months. Squirting orgasms are a similar phenomenon. Chances are, many women always could have experienced them. We just didn’t know it. One reason why more women are squirting: Women are extremely empathic when it comes to sex. If they watch other women in the throes of ejaculatory orgasms--easily done thanks to the porn industry--they can naturally develop the ability to do the same. (This can’t be said for men, or lots of guys would be able to control their ejaculations for a half hour of vigorous thrusting after watching porn.)

Nature Or Nurture?

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hen you talk to professionals who get paid for helping women experience squirting orgasms (as opposed to scientists, who don’t know quite what to make of this phenomenon), they say virtually all women can be helped to squirt if they are comfortable (read “trusting of the man she’s with”) and the guy knows what he’s doing. (Go here for more information on developing trust: www. EnergySexuality.com/vaginal-mas…t-thoughts.) One caution: Even with all the talk and all the videos demonstrating that www.energysexuality.com

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squirting is in reach of many women, in your relationship you should proceed as if this were a touchy subject. Why? Because many women are probably intimidated by this topic (like they don’t have enough to worry about in terms of their sexual performance). If the subject has never come up, I’d approach it gently. She’s got to trust you to open for you. If you have learned a technique to help your lover enjoy squirting orgasms, the information here will give you some ideas on how to improve her experience. If your woman hasn’t yet squirted, it will give you all the information you need to help her. As stated above, two things are absolutely necessary for most women to experience a squirting orgasm at your hands. One, they have to be relaxed, and two, you have to know what you’re doing. Fortunately, if you’ve practiced vaginal massage, you’re the perfect partner to help your lover squirt, as you know how to get her relaxed and you’re intimately familiar with her G-spot. Once a woman has one squirting orgasm her body usually “gets it”, and she finds it much easier to have them whenever you do your technique.

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Water Works / Helping Your Lover to Squirt

Surprise Party

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arcus London, a porn star known for his ability to help women squirt, says he believes it’s best not to tell your lover you’re going to “get her to squirt”. He says that by telling her, you create undue pressure, which might keep her from letting go completely. Depending on your lover and what sort of relationship you have, this is good advice. If your lover is totally comfortable with you, relaxed and open, then surprising her love box with your “squirting stroke” might bring her to an orgasm very quickly, before she knows what’s going on. It will be a sort of, “Oh… OH!!!...Oh my God, what’s happening!!!!?” sort of experience. Very cool. On the other hand, some women may hate that approach, and if it doesn’t work, might get angry at the aggressive nature of your panty raid. If you’ve tried to “make her squirt” using a technique you’ve seen or read about, and it hasn’t worked out, it may be that her vagina wasn’t ready. A dozen or more vaginal massage sessions may be the key to unlocking her G-spot, so she releases a flood of fluid. So first, before you use a technique to make her squirt, transport her into pure pleasure using vaginal massage. It will allow her to squirt easier. Once she’s really relaxed and juicy, here’s how to help your lover to a squirting G-spot orgasm: Kneel by your lover’s right hip, facing her. Bend down so your head is about www.energysexuality.com

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When helping your woman squirt, kneel by her side to give you the leverage needed to move your shoulder forward and backward very quickly. This is the sexual equivalent of a 100 yard dash, so keep stroking until the finish line, which often is less than 20 seconds away.

a foot above her love mound. Then, place your left hand on your lover’s heart, on the bed next to the right side of her chest, or slip your forearm under her low back, whichever feels most comfortable. Hold the two middle fingers of your right hand together and the pinky and index fingers out to the side. The two middle fingers are going into her vagina while your pinky and index fingers rest on her inner thighs. Hopefully by now you have realized that you can’t just stick two fingers in a vagina, expecting good things to happen. As we’ve said, if

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your woman has been with rough or incompetent lovers in the past, her vagina may automatically clench up unless it’s properly prepared. You want to have the mindset that you’re going to take such great care of her that her vagina invites you in. You want to use lots of lubrication on your fingers, and you want to say, “I’m going to put my fingers in you now,” to let her know what’s coming. If you’ve already been massaging her vagina, you can probably slip both fingers in easily. If not, start with one finger and after a minute or two slip the other in, again using lots of lubricant. Once your fingers are in, say, “Take some deep breathes in and out for me”. (Obviously, if you’re surprising her you won’t give her any specific instructions. Instead you’ll start to stroke her G-spot as instructed below.) Breathe with her. In other words, as she breathes in, you breathe in, and as she breathes out, you breathe out. Do this for 5-10 breaths, really connecting with her. At first use your fingers to make circles on her G-spot, gently pressing into it. After ten to twenty seconds start pressing slightly harder, still using circular motions. After about thirty seconds--maybe less if you’ve been doing vaginal massage as foreplay--you’ll usually hear a squishing sound as fluid starts to build up around your fingers. When you hear that sound (or if you don’t hear it, when she starts breathing deeply, or making sounds of pleasure, or starts moving her body like she’s really enjoying what you’re doing), switch from circular motions to small, quick thrusts in and out of her vagina, using a strong, steady rhythm, with your fingertips moving quickly into her G-spot, then off of it, then into it again and again and again. Don’t let up. You might concentrate on the idea of “milking” her sweet spot. If you get the sense that she needs more stimulation, speed up your strokes. The motion to use is not poking her G-spot very quickly, which would require you to use a lot of wrist action. Keep your wrist and elbow stiff. Your finger motion will come from you moving your arm back and forth quickly from the shoulder joint (your elbow will move quickly forward and back, but only as quickly as your www.energysexuality.com

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shoulder moves forward and backward). As you do, your curled fingers will naturally pulse quickly into her G-spot. It’s actually best to relax your fingers a bit rather than keeping them rigid. (Here is a link to a video of Marcus London that shows the stroke; it’s probably faster and harder than you would imagine. Note: Only click the link if you are 18 or older: http://www.energysexuality.com/the-stroke-to-squirt/). Again, every woman is different, so watch her reactions, and once you’ve found a rhythm that’s moving her toward an orgasm, stick with it (although this will happen a lot quicker than during a vaginal massage). When she ejaculates, you will most likely feel like she just got a lot wetter, and you may find the liquid coming out of her vagina has a more “oily” feel to it. If she is prone to strong ejaculations, you can take your fingers out as she starts to ejaculate and see her liquid love squirt out her vagina (although this is more likely to happen in porno movies with the small percentage of women on the planet that squirt with this much force). You may have to do a dozen or so of these “training” sessions before her body starts to squirt. While some women will squirt more easily if you surprise them, others will have an easier time ejaculating during a G-spot orgasm if they’re more involved. So, if you tried surprising your lover with your new skill, and it didn’t work, try this alternative approach: • Suggest that she watch some movies showing women having squirting orgasms. Some women will “get it” once they see other women who’ve “gotten it”. • Once you’ve been massaging her vagina for awhile and she’s really relaxed and juicy, switch your finger position to the one outlined above and tell her: “OK, babe, I want you to breathe in and out of your mouth, and when you breathe in, breathe all the way down into your vagina, and when you breathe out, make an “Ahhh” sound. And as she does, say: “Good girl. Now, I want you to push as you breathe out. Push like you were

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pushing a baby out, really bear down.” Even if most women haven’t had a baby, they can push like this. If your lover can’t, have her cough. That will give her the feeling of pushing out, and after feeling that she’ll be able to push down. The combination of deep breathing through the mouth, making the “Ahhh” sound, and bearing down can help bring on the squirting response. Once she’s doing her part, continue as outlined above, starting with swirling your two fingers around her G-spot. Continue until you hear the “squishing sound,” and then speed up your strokes, your fingers rapidly pulsing into her. If you happen to be the one to help her to squirt for the first time, celebrate! It’s time for champagne, a special night out on the town, roses. Be proud of yourself. After all, you’re the man giving her this sex gift. Congratulations. But beware: You may find that her body isn’t built for ejaculation (kind of like yours isn’t built with a nine inch penis). If that’s the case, don’t fret. Assure her she’s the sexiest woman on earth, and move on to other passion playgrounds. You might revisit squirt training in a few months, as your vaginal massage artistry may change the inner workings of her vagina enough to allow her to squirt.

Get the fluffy, absorbent towels! According to Paul Joannides in “The Guide To Getting It On”: “…researchers asked a woman who ejaculates during orgasm to masturbate in the lab. They found that upon orgasm she released two very distinct types of fluid, and both of these came from her urethra as opposed to her vagina. The first gush contained a half a cup of clear fluid that didn’t smell or look like urine, but upon analysis it turned out to be a very dilute form of urine. The second round of fluid was only a quarter of a teaspoon in volume. It was milky white and somewhat like male semen in makeup, minus the sperm.”

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Chapter Eleven Underpinnings

Using a Pillow Under Her Pelvis

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Underpinnings / Using a Pillow Under Her Pelvis

Waisted Effort

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n easy way to vary your vaginal massages is to place a large, firm bed pillow under your lover’s pelvis. Place it so the top of the pillow is right beneath her waistline. This will tilt your lady’s pelvis up toward the ceiling, with the small of her back flattened against the bed. The pillow will also change the angle of her vagina so it has a more upward tilt, allowing you to angle your wrist down toward the mattress, and your fingers up toward the ceiling, giving you a more acute angle into her G-spot. The sensation is sensational for some women.

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Sling Time

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ou can combine an under-pelvis pillow with a homemade “sex sling”. Make the sling form ropes, scarves, an old sheet you’ve cut into strips, or neckties. It turns a pillow into a pedestal for your lover’s precious parts (and gives you as close to an “all access pass” to them as possible). Here’s what to do: • Position your lover so she’s sitting on the front part of a large pillow in the center of the bed, her knees bent and her feet flat on the bed. • Tie a rope, scarf or necktie around each of her thighs, right above the knees. Make them

If your lover trusts you enough to set her up in this quick and easy sling, congratulations. In this position she’s vulnerable to your every advance. Repay her willingness to let you in by treating her to as many wonderful sensations as possible. Relax. Take your time. Be creative. She’s not going anywhere.

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Fold a four foot strand of rope in half. When you wrap the rope around her leg, tie a simple overhand knot, creating a loop. Then use the loop to attach the longer piece of rope used to make the sling.

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tight, but not so tight that they impair circulation in her legs. • Now have her wrap her arms around her knees. • Use a twenty foot length of rope or tie four scarves or neckties together (we’ll call this Rope Three). Tie one end of Rope Three to the right thigh band using a simple overhand knot. Run the other end of Rope Three under your lover’s right arm, over her back and left shoulder, and then under the left thigh band. Tie a knot so Rope Three is secured to the left thigh band. Now run Rope Three under your lover’s left arm, over her right shoulder and back, and under the right thigh band, securing it there with another overhand knot. • Rope Three will create an “X” pattern on your lover’s back. • Now gently lay your trussed-up partner back on the bed. Her spread legs will be held up by the rope/ scarves/ties, allowing you to use both hands when playing with her. This setup is especially good for combining cunnilingus with vaginal massage (See Chapter Twenty One) or for using a

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long vibrating dildo to give your lover cervical orgasms (See Chapter Fifteen).

Focus Group

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pillow prop is also good for increasing a woman’s experience of fully receiving your penetration. As sex coach Michael Richardson notes in his book, “Tantric Sex For Men” (Destiny Books, Rochester, Vermont, 2010): “Usually a woman will push her genitals forward (using her pelvis) at the very same moment the man thrusts or moves into her. Physically speaking, just from the mechanics of the musculature, the vagina becomes narrower and tighter during a forward push.” He recommends placing a pillow under your lover’s pelvis and having the woman remain still. “In this nonmoving position a woman is able to put all her attention into her vagina—into the receiving, absorbing, and welcoming of the penis into her body,” he says. As you penetrate the rare beauty beneath you, stay present, focused on the sensations of your penis sliding in and out of your lover’s private portal.

Rock Party

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nother way to use an under-pelvis pillow: With the pillow in place, have your lover place her feet flat on the bed. Now she can rock her pelvis backward, toward the bed, as she breaths in, and forward, toward the ceiling, as she breaths out. Have her start rocking her pelvis in sync with her breathing as you push your finger(s) into the back third of her G-spot on her in-breath, dragging your finger(s) forward over this engorged area as she breathes out. Keep fingering her in sync with her pelvic

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Underpinnings / Using a Pillow Under Her Pelvis movements and breathing, letting her set the pace. Most women like to lay back and relax during a vaginal massage, but this variation has its time and place. For example, in the middle of the day, when she has lots of energy, perhaps after a yoga class or gym workout.

Floatation Device

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n under-pelvis pillow can change your view of doggie-style vaginal massages, too. Instead of having your lover on her knees or laying over pillows placed beneath her torso, prop up two or three pillows under her lower abdomen. Now, with her rear end floating high off the bed, you can kneel next to her hip with both hands free to please. One variation: Slip your left hand between the pillows and her womanmound, so your left fingertips can play with her clitoris, while you use your right thumb to massage her G-spot. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Twelve Pulling Her Leg Tugging Down On Her Vagina

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Pulling Her Legs / Tugging Down on Her Vagina

Pressure Sensitive

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erve fibers from the clitoris trail down either side of the vagina, in a horseshoe shape, with the two ends, or “legs” of the horseshoe extending deep into the pelvis. Because of this set up, you will increase the sensitivity of your lover’s clitoris during your vaginal massages by taking one or two fingers and pressing the bottom of her vagina straight down toward her anus. A good time to do this is after she’s had several orgasms. Turn your hand down, palm toward the bed, and press your finger(s) straight down as you continue to stroke her Butterfly Spot. This will stretch the clitoris, making it more sensitive to your strokes. Another move: As you’re pulling her vagina down, sweep your finger back and forth, exciting her perennial tissue. This is sensitive erectile tissue inside the perineum, that area lying between your lover’s anus and vagina. Author/sex therapist Ian Kenner in “She Comes First” (HarperCollins, New York, 2004) gives another move for this area: “When stimulating her perineal tissue from the inside with your index finger, use your thumb to press her perineum from the outside. In this position, you’re literally pinching her perineum from both sides,” he notes. After another orgasm or two, turn your attention back to her G-spot, or move on to another variation. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Thirteen Fit to Be Tied Bondage and Vaginal Massage

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Fit to Be Tied / Bondage and Vaginal Massage

I Surrender

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wo major themes in this book are: In mastering the art of vaginal massage you become the trusted man your lover has always dreamed of finding. And… Women want to be able to relax and radiate love when in the bedroom. They want you to take charge, so they don’t have to think. They can just feel, and relax into being the radiant creatures they long to be. One reason why bedroom bondage is talked about so much is that women long for a man to take control during sex. What better way to take control than to physically restrain her? For some women, allowing themselves to be tied down, so they have no choice about what happens, is the easiest way to really let go and feel into their sexuality. Think about it. If your woman is tied spread-eagle on a bed, she can’t be judged on her performance. Tied down, she can be sexually set free. And then there is THIS: Almost every straight woman has a deep longing to be ravished. To be taken (against her will no less!) by a man who so strongly lusts for her that he www.energysexuality.com

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will take her prisoner and have his way with her (of course, he needs to be well groomed, have chiseled abs, and be madly in love with her). This is the most common sexual fantasy among women, played out thousands of times in new romance novels published every year. So indulge your woman! Be her Ravisher!

Why Do Women Want Ravishment? The following is an excerpt from my “Ravisher” hypnosex program (available from “energysexuality.com”), designed to help you become the most powerful lover you can be in under 24 minutes… “In a few moments when I awaken you by saying ‘1 2, 3 wide awake,’ you’ll be convinced in every way with one hundred percent conviction that you are a totally masculine Ravisher… who will be totally masculine and will ravish your lover with all of your masculine power, skill, lust and love…and you will easily and effortlessly slip into your role as Ravisher….you will access that part of you that has always wanted to have your way with your lover…and when you are done ravishing your lover, when you have finished ravishing your lover, or when your lover tells you she would like to stop making love, you will automatically return to full waking consciousness within thirty seconds, returning to your normal state in every way in thirty seconds, without any adverse effects and feeling great about yourself and your ability as a lover….even now, as I speak, you feel every bit of feminine energy leaving your body…you feel every bit of feminine energy leaving your body now…it’s sinking down into the bed your resting on, leaving your body, draining down into the bed and down through the floor…you can feel this feminine energy now exiting your body…fading away,

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draining down… Now that all traces of feminine energy have left your body, you begin to feel your strong, powerful, extremely virile masculine sexual energy rising up in every cell of your body…you now feel your virile masculine sexual energy rising up in your body, causing an extremely pleasurable and powerful sensation in your toes…. your feet…. your calves and shins…. your knees… rising up through your legs…powerful, virile masculine sensations as your Herculean masculine sexual energy enlivens every cell of your body…up your thighs, your pelvis, your penis, your belly, the small of your back…rising up… powerful, virile, nearly super-human masculine sexual energy… your torso, your chest, your heart...flowing into your shoulders, and spreading down your arms to your fingers….powerful, strong masculine sexual energy…...a golden white light enlivening every cell of your body as it intensifies,…spreading up through your throat and into your face and scalp and hair and ears…and with every breath you take in you feel your robust, powerful, virile masculine sexual energy increase in every cell in your body, glowing brighter and brighter and brighter still…from the inside out…and from now on as you ravish your lover you will be able to feel this deep sense of masculine sexual energy enlivening every cell of your body, and it will be an awesome feeling… making you more capable of fulfilling your deepest sexual desires...” As relationship counselor Dr. Adam Sheck notes in an article, “Do Women Want To Be Ravished?”: “The fantasy of being ravished, being lovingly, yet forcefully taken by her man, is consistently in the top five female fantasies, often the number one fantasy…as revealed in the always popular romance novels, the fantasy of a strong, powerful man initiating sex with a woman, not accepting her initial reluctance, and then loving her passionately, is a popular fantasy. This is not about abuse and power; in most of these novels (and fantasies), the couple

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ends up married and living ‘happily ever after’”. He goes on: “For the heterosexual female ‘ravish me’ fantasy though, we’re talking about the man embodying the masculine and taking charge with those masculine qualities to be focused, direct, relentless in pursuing his goal, in this case, loving his woman into “submission”. This can range from simply initiating sex, to being a little more assertive than usual, to being more aggressive, to being a little ‘rough’, all the way to role play and using restraints and sex toys.” Your lover is your equal. But in the bedroom she longs to relax, surrender and open up. So she can feel like a woman, and let sexual excitement flow through her body and love flow through her heart. Help her! With the utmost love and care, ravish your lover.

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Fit to Be Tied / Bondage and Vaginal Massage

Hardware Man

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t’s easy and can make you feel extremely powerful to incorporate bondage into your vaginal massages. Here’s how: First, you’ll need ropes. Buy a fifty foot length of large, soft nylon rope in the hardware department, and cut it into twelve foot lengths. Tie these to the four posters of your bed. No posters? No problem! Make large knots at the ends of the ropes, and place these knotted ends under the mattress, trapping them between the mattress and box spring. This will anchor them enough to give your lover the feeling of being securely bound, you scoundrel. (An added touch: Have the ropes already in place before she enters the room. Conceal them so she can’t see them when she lays down. Adding this element of surprise may enrich her fantasy

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of being taken.) So your ropes are in place. What happens next? Imagine this: Your lover is lying on her back. You say: “Close your eyes.” She does. You gently slip a sleep mask over her eyes. Then, without saying a word, you sit on her stomach, supporting your weight with your knees, pinning her to the bed, and say, “Give me your left arm, now!” in your most authoritative voice. When she lifts her arm off the bed, you grip it with strong pressure, letting her know that she’s not going anywhere. Or doing anything you don’t want her to do. You take the rope you’ve secured to the upper left hand corner of the bed, wrap it three times around her wrist, and tie a knot in it. You make sure you leave enough slack in the rope so you don’t cut off her circulation. You leave a sixty five degree angle in her elbow so she’ll be comfortable. You secure her other arm in similar fashion. You slide off her abdomen, stand on the right side of the bed, and grasp her right ankle, holding it firmly, pulling it toward you, spreading her leg to the side. You wrap the rope three times around her ankle and knot it, again leaving her knee some wiggle room, then secure her left leg. Now you have her where you want her.

Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me

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epending on how much time you have, now is the time to show how much you cherish her by bringing her body alive with beautiful sensations. For example, take a polyester or silk scarf, lay it by her cheek, and slowly trail it down her body. Let it cascade over her breasts and stomach, and then between her legs, pulling it slowly to the tips of her feet. Spend two or three minutes teasing the fabric up and down over her helpless figure. Now do the same thing with feathers. A half dozen peacock feathers cost less

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than a tank of gas, and will give her wonderful sensations when you run them lightly over her skin, starting at her neck and brushing them down her arms, her breasts and nipples, belly and vagina, down her inner thighs to her feet. Other sensations to try: A vibrator, your fingernails, a make-up brush or the lightest touch of your fingertips. Between giving her these different sensations, kiss her passionately on her lips, neck, chin or wherever else you desire. www.energysexuality.com

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Treasured Chest

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nce you’ve finished bringing her body alive in a way no other man has ever taken the time to do, it’s time to massage her breasts. Take your bottle of warm lubricant and again sit lightly on her belly, kneeling on either side of her torso. Check the lube’s temperature. If it’s right, aim the bottle down and, taking your time, slowly decorate your lover’s breasts with flowing lines of lube. Lazily dribble the warm lubricant in swirls over her flesh contours, allowing her to feel every line form. Once you’re done with your abstract breast art, lube your hands. Now, place your hands on your woman’s chest, just below her breasts, so the webs of your hands are under her soft mellons. Let your hands slide up around the outsides of her chest mounds and up toward her nipples, encircling them without touching them. Gently play with her breast flesh, adoring the way it feels beneath your slick hands. Every ten seconds or so, allow your hands to move closer to her nipples, letting the sides of your

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Fit to Be Tied / Bondage and Vaginal Massage fingers eventually brush up against them. Take your time. Tease her. Close your eyes and feel the texture of her crinkled nipple flesh against the sides of your fingers. See how slowly you can move your fingers along the rigid borders of her nipples. When you’ve had enough of teasing/delighting her breast tips, stretch your fingers wide and let them slide, one after the other, over her nipples in a back and forth motion. After four or five slow strokes like this, spread your fingers out on each breast. Her nipples should be in the center of the palms of your hands. Now slowly bring your fingers in toward her nipples, making a tent with your fingers and thumbs (see photo below). Let your hands rise up toward the ceiling, your fingertips sliding up onto the erect nipples, and trailing off their tips as your fingertips meet an inch above them. Use light pressure at first. But as you continue this stroke, increase your grip on her nipples each time, eventually tugging her nipples up toward the ceiling before letting go. If your lover doesn’t appreciate

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this treatment, experiment until you find strokes that delight her. If you’ve never massaged a woman’s chest with lubricant and intention, you may be surprised at how enjoyable it is for both of you. After five or ten minutes (or more!) of massaging her breasts, lean down and slowly encircle one of her nipples with your lips. Let your lips touch the skin around the nipple, without touching the crinkled flesh filling the inside of your mouth. Just let your lips stay there, as you breathe your hot breath onto her. If you drool, so much the better. Finally, after twenty or thirty seconds, close your lips around her erect nipple and begin sucking. At the same time, use one of your hands to massage the opposite breast. For example, if you are sucking on her left nipple, massage her right breast. After awhile, switch.

Vibe Tribe

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ou have your woman tied down, helpless to stop your ravishment of her chest flesh. You’ve treated her breasts like liquidy jewels. If your woman appreciates lots of nipple stimulation, at times like these you’ll want to bring out your vibrating nipple clamps. Here’s how to use them: After finishing her breast massage, leave her tied to the bed, go to the kitchen, and microwave a wet hand towel for fifteen to twenty seconds. Return to her. Use the warm towel (check that it’s warm, not hot) to gently wipe the lube from her chest. Use a dry hand towel to softly pat her dry. Now, taking a nipple between your thumb and

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Fit to Be Tied / Bondage and Vaginal Massage forefinger, pull it up toward the ceiling, stretching it, and gently place a clamp over it; do the same with the other. Turn on the vibrator. Leaning down so that you can whisper in her ear (and using your best Ravisher voice), tell her something like: “I’ve lusted after you for sooooo long. Watching you. Watching the way your breasts move when you walk. Watching the way you wiggle your luscious rear end. Just waiting until I could get you alone here, where I can do anything I want with you. You can’t move. You can’t do a thing to stop me. You’re mine! You’re my own little sex toy and I can play with you in any way I desire.” Lightly draw the tip of your tongue across the ends of her nipples…kiss her neck…her lips…enjoy her helplessness and your power. Drink it in. She wants you to. When you’ve had enough fun with your lover’s breasts, set up for a vaginal massage. Chances are you’ll want to take the nipple clamps off before beginning. At some point the clamps will most likely be too much of a good thing and become more distracting than pleasurable. Usually two to five minutes is plenty of nipple vibe time. As you carefully remove each clamp, be sure to worship your lover’s nipples with long licks, and soft sucks, and kisses.

THE ARTIST’S WAY

In this chapter I’ve given you a “cookbook” formula for massaging your lover’s breasts. But realize that all these techniques—vaginal massage, dressing your lover, doggie-style vaginal massage, etc.— are skills you should mix like a great lead guitarist mixes notes and cords into great rifts. For example, right in the middle of a great breast massage, shift gears and give your lover two or three orgasms through vaginal massage, or use your right hand to massage her g-spot while your left hand worships her left nipple, or….or do whatever strikes you as the thing to do. Learn the techniques. Then weave them into wonderful sexual experiences for your lover.

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Chapter Fourteen Wave On

Creating Full Body Orgasms in Your Lover

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Wave On / Creating Full Body Orgasms in Your Lover

Breath Work

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ry the following after your lover has orgasmed several times: Place your left hand under her tailbone, so that it’s sandwiched between her and the bed. As you massage her vagina with the fingers of your right hand, say: “Breath down into your vagina.” As she does, cup the palm of your right hand over her mons pubis while fingering her G-spot. Push her mons down toward the bed with your right hand. At the same time, use your left hand to pull the top of her tailbone (the end closest to her low back) up toward the small of her back. This will push the tip of her tailbone down toward the bed. As your right hand pushes down, and your left hand pulls up, you will elongate her abdomen. This will allow her to breathe deeper. Once she’s inhaled fully, wait for a count of two and then say:

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“Breath all the way out.” As she begins to exhale, use your right hand to gently pull her vagina up toward the ceiling while you use your left hand to rock the tip of her tailbone up as well. This will let her exhale fully. Repeat this motion nine times (the Chinese, masters at directing the flow of internal energy, believe multiples of nine breaths are best for this practice) . When a woman experiences full body orgasms, she naturally undulates in a wavelike motion. Her pelvis rocks back on the in-breath, and forward on the out-breath. When you help your lover practice this wave-like motion during your vaginal massages, it helps to increase her sexual responsiveness. Because there’s a lot going on and she has to concentrate, most women won’t want to keep doing this for the entire massage. Use it for helping your woman become more orgasmic. And keep it in your back pocket for a quick variation to keep things interesting.

Why give your lover orgasms? Throughout this book you’ve been learning how to gift your lover with massive orgasms. Why? Why does she like them so much? Life exists on two levels (this is a gross oversimplification). On one level is the world you can see, hear, touch, taste and feel. On the other (we’ll call it the “subtle level”), there is a vast field of energy from where all the stuff you can see, hear, etc. comes from. In other words, everything is made of energy. The stuff you can be aware of using your senses is just denser energy than what you find in the underlying energy field. When you make love to your partner and it’s good, that part of her that’s usually so concerned with the solid world fades. She becomes spacious. When orgasms happen, the boundaries between the solid and subtle worlds can disappear altogether. She feels at one with everything, including you. So when you give your lover massive orgasms for as long as she wants, you’re helping her escape her “normal” world, which is often filled with concern and tension, into a world in which she is free to feel love flow through her. That’s why you give your lover orgasms.

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Wave On / Creating Full Body Orgasms in Your Lover

Rock On Two simple pelvic rocking exercises can help your lover (and you) experience full-body orgasms. During such orgasms your bodies naturally move with wave-like motion. These exercises train your bodies to more easily slip into this pattern. Here’s how to do them:

PELVIC EXERCISE ONE

• Lay on your back, with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. • Take a deep, slow breath in through your mouth to the count of five, and as

you do, rock your pelvis forward, increasing the space between the small of your back and the floor. • Once you’ve inhaled fully, immediately start to exhale, feeling the breath flowing out of your belly as you push the small of your back against the floor and rock the tops of your hips up toward your head. • Do nine repetitions, creating a wave-like motion, concentrating on taking deep breaths in and out and exaggerating the motions of your pelvis (it can help to imagine a rod running through your hip joints, and imagine your hips swiveling around this rod as you rock your pelvis forward and back).

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PELVIC EXERCISE TWO

• Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Your arms should be at your sides,

at waist level, with your elbows bent at a ninety degree angle, and your hands in loose fists. • Begin by rocking your hips backward as you take a deep breath in through your nose. Relax your lower abdomen as you let your breath sink all the way down into your lower belly. As you do, bring your arms back so your elbows move behind you and your hands move back toward your waist. Imagine a rod running through your hip joints, and that your pelvis is swiveling on the rod. • Hold for a count of two, and then thrust your hips forward as you exhale forcefully through your mouth, making a “haaaaa!” sound. • Repeat nine times (Note: this is an excellent exercise to do with your partner before making love). • Note: You can cultivate the movement of sexual energy by breathing in golden white light down the front of your body into your penis and balls; when you exhale, imagine shooting this energy out of your penis.

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Wave On / Creating Full Body Orgasms in Your Lover

What Is Energy Sexuality? Vaginal massage is part of a new form of sexuality sweeping the world. This new kind of sex, “Energy Sexuality”, is about: • Mastering the vast energy underlying all existence in order to experience incredible sex. • Instead of sex as sport, it’s sex as spiritual practice. • Energy sexuality is often transcendental in nature and forms a spiritual connection between lovers. • Energy sexuality is about teaching men how to relate to women in simple, powerful, masculine ways, clearing the confusion around male/female roles, leading to ecstatic, drama-free relationships. • It’s also about teaching women how to open their hearts and genitals so love can flow through them, and they can experience all of the pleasure they can handle. • For men and women, energy sexuality is about mastering their sexuality, consciousness and understanding of the energetic level of reality, so they can bestow these gifts on their lovers. • Energy sexuality is about specific sexual techniques, some of which are described in this book. • Energy sexuality is also about how to achieve transcendental states during sex. • Lastly, energy sexuality is about exploring how to use open-hearted sex and ecstatic relationships to advance yourself along your spiritual path. Join us! There is a new sexual revolution taking place all over the planet. Join it and experience the best sex and relationships of your life. Questions? Please write me at [email protected]. Blessings,

Dr. Leonard www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Fifteen Added Value Sex Toys for Vaginal Massage

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Added Value / Sex Toys for Vaginal Massage

THE NEW Sensations

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ost couples crave sensation during sex. The more the better. Sex toys can give you the extra boost in sensation you’re looking for. They’re called “novelty items” for a reason: Sex toys add more paints to your palette, adding to the never ending and always evolving artistry of your lovemaking. Here are some ideas to, pardon the pun, toy with:

VIBRATING BEN WA BALLS

Bigger than a marble, smaller than a golf ball, vibrating ben wa balls usually consist of two electrified, smooth balls connected to a variable speed controller. Slip one or two of the balls into your lover’s rear end before or in the middle of massaging her vagina. This will ramp up her back end sensations while at the same time creating more friction on her G-spot (your fingers will press into the spot with more pressure because the ben wa balls will be pressing up against them). Similarly, if you put a ben wa ball into your lover’s vagina, you can hook the sides of it with your two fingers, and then press it up into the G-spot, using the vibrating ball rather than your fingertips to massage your baby’s hot spot. Or insert two balls into the vagina so the first ball pushes against your lover’s cervix, then sandwich your index finger on top of the other ball, which will be near her vagina’s entrance, and use the tip of your index finger to massage her G-spot. Or…use the ben wa balls on the outside www.energysexuality.com

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of her vagina. Take them in your left hand and sandwich her clitoris between the balls. Move them up and down either side of her clitoral hood while your right index and middle fingers play inside her honey hole.

THE WE-JOY™

The we-joy™ is the connoisseur’s choice for an outrageously effective playtool that will enhance his vaginal massages. The sleek, ingeniouslydesigned device has rounded, studded, bulbous ends that massage the clitoris and G-spot at the same time. Slip the we-joy™’s large bulb into your lover’s vagina, and then slide your index finger along its bottom, so that you can use your finger to press the vibrating bulb into her G-spot. At the same time, use your thumb to press the other bulb into your lover’s clitoris. Concentrate on moving your index finger in and out, so that the we-joy™ slides in and out of your lover’s love box, while at the same time sliding up and down on her clitoris. Another use: Position the we-joy™ as in the above example, but use your right index finger to pull your lover’s vagina down toward the bed, stretching her clitoris and making her love button and her G-spot more sensitive to the vibrations penetrating them. Yet again, if your lover likes anal play, slip the small end of the we-joy™ in her anus, with the large end sliding into the bottom of her vagina. Now use the basic vaginal massage stroke, with your left index and middle fingers on her clitoris, and your right index and middle fingers on her G-spot. The we-joy™ will naturally press

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Added Value / Sex Toys for Vaginal Massage

your fingers into her g-spot with more muscle, while the bottom of her vagina and her bottom are vibrated like crazy. Using this same set-up, you can use the we-joy™ for a doggie-style vaginal massage, if the dimensions of your thumb and your lover’s vagina permit. As with all sex toys that take up space in your lover’s body, use lots of lubricant.

DILDOS

Use a dildo to give your lover cervical orgasms. Here’s how: Your fingers may not be long enough to reach your lover’s cervix, which is located at the very back of her vagina (it’s where babies come out from the uterus). The best way to feel it with your fingers is to have your lover on her back, with her knees bent and pulled up toward her chest. This upwardly-tilts her vagina toward the ceiling and decreases the distance between the front and back of her vagina, so you can more easily feel her cervix and its surrounding tissue. The cervix itself will feel like a hard, walnut-sized protrusion at the very back of her vagina, with a ridge running up and down it, from top to bottom. To massage the cervix you’ll want to slide your index or middle finger lightly up and down that ridge, checking to make sure it isn’t painful. When you use a dildo to stimulate the cervix, get a long, soft, vibrating dildo with a straight shaft. If possible, get one that vibrates along its entire length. Have your lover bend her knees, with her feet flat on the bed. Slowly guide the well-lubricated dildo all the way into your lover’s glove compartment until its head bumps into her cervix. Go slow and soft, and ask her to tell you when the dildo finds its mark. Make sure the dildo is giving her pleasurable feelings; you may have to back www.energysexuality.com

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off somewhat, but you want continuous, low-pressure vibrations lapping up onto the cervix, like ocean waves against a sea wall. Once the dildo is there and you’ve checked with your partner that she likes what it’s doing, lubricate your left fingers and use them to massage her Butterfly Spot as you hold the dildo against her cervix. Cervical orgasms tend to be much deeper in nature than clitorial orgasms. As many women have never experienced them, you might have to “train” your woman’s vagina, just as when you’re learning how to give her squirting G-spot orgasms. Also like G-spot orgasms, once she experiences her first cervical orgasm, it will be easier for her to have more in the future. Once she gets comfortable with them, you can vary your technique. For example, if her cervix likes your massage treatments, you might try pulling the dildo in and out, bumping against the cervix with a nice steady rhythm.

VAGINAL PUMP

Use a vaginal pump, which has a plastic cup on one end, and a rubber bulb on the other. You place the cup over your lover’s vagina. Then, as you squeeze, the pump sucks the vaginal lips into the cup, engorging them with blood, making them more sensitive for your vaginal massage session. Proceed with caution and go slowly, trying one pump squeeze first, checking that your partner likes what she’s feeling. Let the suction work for a minute and then press the pressure release valve. Your lover’s vagina should be somewhat puffy and more sensitive. Now spend time massaging her labia lips and pulling them apart, letting your fingers slide off of them, and add cunnilingus to the pampering of your baby’s princess slit before proceeding to your massage.

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Added Value / Sex Toys for Vaginal Massage

SMALLER SUCTION DEVICES

Similarly, smaller suction devices can be used to sensitize your lover’s nipples and clitoris. A great time to use these is during a bondage vaginal massage session. Once your lover is tied down, gently trap her nipples and clitoris in the suction devices. (As you turn the screw top, her nipples and clitoris get sucked into the tubes quickly and dramatically, so be extremely careful when using any suction device on any part of your lover’s body!) The nipples and clitoris will swell as more blood is sucked into them. This may produce a tingling sensation or dull ache. When you take off the suction tube (which you should do sooner than later; don’t leave them on for long, as any part of the body needs fresh blood within a minute or so) they will be more sensitive, sometimes much more sensitive, and ready for your masterful attention.

NON-LATEX GLOVE WITH BULLET VIBE

You can turn the tip of your finger into a powerful vibrator by inserting a “bullet vibe,” some of which are surprisingly powerful, into the tip of a non-latex glove. Buy gloves at the pharmacy and use the vibe on any part of your baby where you want a “whole ‘lotta shakin” going on. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Sixteen Detours Ahead Taking Breaks During Your Vaginal Massages

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Detours Ahead / Taking Breaks During Your Vaginal Massage

Rest Stop

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ost vaginal massage sessions will last from a half hour to an hour or more. You and your lover are putting out a lot of energy. In conventional sex you keep up whatever you’re doing until you have an orgasm, and then you’re done. In this more nondirectional sex, a welltimed break let’s you rest and re-charge and lets you enjoy the journey rather than focusing on a destination. Here are some ideas: • Slow, stop, and go to the kitchen, bringing back ice cream, fresh fruit, your lover’s favorite drink-whatever seems decadent and/or reinvigorating. Have her sit up on the bed in the candlelight and enjoy these treats together. Spoon the ice cream into her mouth. Dab chocolate sauce on her nipples and lick it off. (You can’t go wrong with chocolate. Studies show it’s by far the number one food women crave. According to a Cambridge University study, “Both smelling and eating chocolate activate areas of the brain that

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are known to be involved in creating feelings of pleasure…chocolate has a unique blend of sensory qualities which make us feel good, activating pleasure centres in the brain.” It might be doubly decadent to have your lover sit with pillows behind her, sampling a plate of treats, while you massage her feet. • Arrange a bottle of chilled champagne or wine beside the bed, and every once in a while slow what you’re doing and stop. Take a large gulp of wine into your mouth. Gently press your lips to your lover’s, and let the wine slowly trickle into her mouth. • In his book, “She Comes First” (HarperCollins, New York, 2004), a great guide to cunnilingus, author Ian Kerner gives this advice for mixing wine with your lovemaking time-outs: “…the pH level of her vulva is remarkably similar to that of wine, so cunnilingus and the fruit of the vine are the perfect pairing. Try a dry white, or a red Zinfandel... wines that are a little more on the acidic side will add some zing to your tongue.” He

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Detours Ahead / Taking Breaks During Your Vaginal Massage even recommends “a good bottle of Viognier from the Condrieu region in France; it possesses a rich perfume that’s redolent of apricot, peaches, and honey, and, when combined with the sweet nectar of her vulva, is the closest you’ll ever come to tasting ambrosia, the food of the gods.” (See Chapter Twenty One to find out how to combine advanced cunnilingus skills with your vaginal massages.) • If you’ve bound her to the bed, simply leave the room for a few minutes. The anticipation will build as she wonders, “What’s he up to now?” When you come back, bring a sex toy. • When your lover has had several powerful orgasms in a row, slow, stop, and lay down beside her and practice “conscious cuddling”. Take her in your arms. Say: “I’ve got you. You’re doing great. I’ve got you. Relax.” You might also think of a part of her body or personality that you love and appreciate, and tell her how much you love it. If she was doing something you really liked before the break, tell her something like: “God you have an insanely sexy jaw. I love to watch it when you have me in your mouth.” “You are the sweetest thing. I love being like this with you.” “I loved the sounds you were making when I was fingering you. That is so sexy. In a few minutes I’m going to finger you again, and I want you to really relax and let me hear how much you’re enjoying it.” As you’re holding her, imagine she’s radiating hot energy from every cell of her body, and let it soak into you. Imagine you can feel a warm, bright, golden white light radiating from her chest, and let that soak into you, too. Some ancient sexual texts say one of the biggest mistakes a man can make is to ignore the power of his lover’s radiance between or after sex: You’ve enlivened her energy; now let it flow into you. After awhile, position her for more fun and begin again.

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Chapter Seventeen You’ve Got the Touch Becoming a More Sensitive Lover

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You’ve Got the Touch / Becoming a More Sensitive Lover

Pick Up Artist

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ou can enhance all of the techniques and tips in this book by dedicating some time to making your hands more sensitive. When you do you’ll be able to savor your lover’s body even more while channeling all your energy, personality and love into her.

Book It

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ere’s a classic exercise taught in massage schools to increase the sensitivity of students’ fingers: Take a phone book and open it, placing a hair from your head on the page, then cover the hair by flipping over a single page. Once the hair is hidden, close your eyes and rub your index finger over the paper, finding the hair with your fingertip. As your finger slides across the paper, put your total awareness at the tip of your finger. Imagine you are sliding it across one of your lover’s nipples. Once you find the hair, add another page on top of it and try again (you might imagine running your finger over another part of your lover’s body). Keep adding pages until you can’t feel the hair under your index finger. Then repeat the exercise with your middle finger, third finger and pinky. Do this exercise once a day for a week. You’ll be surprised at your fingertips’ increased sensitivity.

Pressing Issue

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nother exercise from massage school is to blow up a balloon and tie off its nozzle. Close your eyes. Using your index and middle fingers, slowly start to push into the balloon. What you’ll find is that, at first, the balloon gives easily. But you’ll reach a point at which that easy give stops. At this point, if you keep pushing, www.energysexuality.com

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you’ll feel like you’re stretching the rubber rather than just denting it. Do this a dozen times or so, again putting all your awareness on the tips of your fingers, feeling for the range of “easy give,” stopping right before you begin feeling much greater resistance from the rubber. This exercise pays off: When you’re massaging your lover’s vagina or anus, you don’t want to push past the easy give of the tissues you’re caressing. Do this balloon exercise with your eyes closed, your full attention on the tips of your fingers, for five minutes to increase your fingers’ sensitivity to pressure.

SENSATION VS. SENSITIVITY

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e all like sexual sensations. But when you become more sensitive, you can appreciate these sensations even more (and you won’t need to chase after more sensation to get more sexual satisfaction). One way to increase your sexual sensitivity is to get your mind out of the way and just feel into your body. This works well for your fingers and penis. Try this: When you’re massaging your lover’s breasts, close your eyes and focus your attention on your fingertips. Imagine you can feel how the tiny ridges that make up your fingerprints interact with the crinkled nipples beneath them. Feel every little ridge. As your fingers move across the fountainheads of your baby’s love mountains, sense energy streaming into you as you tease and caress the excited nerve endings just beneath your touch. Now, shift from just focusing on what’s going on at your fingertips to moving your awareness there. In other words, you usually have a sense that your awareness is in your head. Try moving that seat of perception to your fingers. It’s a subtle distinction, but it’s the difference between feeling a part of your body from afar, as if checking in along a wi-fi connection, and moving the modem of perception to that area. Once you try it with breast flesh, try it as you touch the internal folds of your

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You’ve Got the Touch / Becoming a More Sensitive Lover woman’s vagina. It helps to do this after you’ve taken some deep, relaxing breaths in and out, to center yourself, and rooted the “sits” bones of your pelvis (the ones you feel in your rear end when you sit in a chair) into the mattress. If you wait until the heat of passion is flaming all around you, the distractions may prevent this subtle shifting of awareness. How does your baby’s holy hole feel when your awareness is in your fingers? The same movement of awareness can be accomplished with your penis.Your penis knows what to do. So every once in awhile, let it do its thing: Imagine this: Your woman is lying on the bed, on her back. She looks soft and lovely, and she’s got a grin on her face. She wants you. You want to be close to her, but you’re not horny, and your soft penis is proof. You’ve heard that your brain is your biggest sex organ. Signals from your brain release chemicals in your genitals, and it’s game on. But you also know that your penis has a mind of its own. You decide to trust your penis and see what it wants to do. You reach for a bottle of personal lubricant and coat your

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semi soft penis with gel, smiling at her. You start to harden a bit. You hand the bottle to her. She grins shyly, then coats her essential womanpart from top to bottom, slipping fingers into the inner entrance, readying it for you. She puts the bottle aside, and you crawl on top of her, settling into her body like a heavy sigh. She reaches down and slides the slick index and middle fingers of her right hand right behind the head of your penis. She pinches it, and then pulls it toward her opening, so the head of your penis slips into her love space. Likewise, she pinches the base of your penis with fingers from her left hand, pulling your soft shaft into her as well. You’re still soft, but now you’re inside of her. You’re still more comfortable than horny, but you love being in her, moundto-mound, belly-to-belly, feeling her soft breasts against you, looking at the pleasure spreading across her face. You close your eyes, focusing your attention on the head of your penis. You will

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You’ve Got the Touch / Becoming a More Sensitive Lover your awareness to drift down from your head, down your torso, down your abdomen, and let it settle in the head of your penis. It’s taken awhile for you to be able to put your awareness in different parts of your body. You never lose the sense that your brain is the seat of you, but you can also be aware that a separate consciousness can reside in other parts of you as well. You release the need to penetrate her in any particular way. You let the intelligence of your penis take over. She lets her vagina envelop you just the way it wants. Now, instead of thrusting in and out, you let the sensations all around your penis guide its movements. You’re just relaxed, watching your penis do its thing. Magically, like the little pointer on a Ouija board, it starts to move in ways you never would. Your pelvis follows suit, its movements small and gentle, as if to move more would break the spell. Her vagina is squeezing your penis with a touch as soft as cheek kisses. Her pelvis undulates with gentle rhythms, organically grown from impulses outside thought. And because your awareness is there, you feel every lovewave that laps at your hardening shore. You both lie there, your sexual organs dancing, and all of a sudden the space around your penis expands out for what feels like miles. How can she be squeezing you with her tenderness, while it feels like a whole solar system has formed around your shaft? It’s like when yogis push their consciousness out through their third eyes, and feel at one with the sky above. Now that same expansiveness is happening to you “down there”. You’re getting harder. And you want to start thrusting. As more blood fills your penis, your brain, with all its lust and pre-programmed agendas, wants to highjack the action. You resist at first, but it feels too good. You make the first push into her, and she rocks her pelvis up to meet you. You make sweet love, sensitivity giving way to sensation, spiced by a deeper awareness of the cosmic nature of your lover’s ecstatic space. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Eighteen Professional Grade Jose Torian’s Orgasmic Pulse Massage

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Professional Grade / Jose Torian’s Orgasmic Pulse Massage

The Squirt Ninja

I

’m not making this up… Jose Toiran, from Barcelona, Spain, was 21-years-old and he’d just sold his business of importing video games. “The video game industry was changing fast, and I needed to do something else,” he notes. He met Nacho Vidal, Spain’s most famous porno star, and became friends. One day Nacho called, “Our camera man is out sick and I need you to fill in.” Toiran did, and did so well he was hired as a cameraman for Spanish pornography producers. “Then a few months later he called again,” says Toiran with an easy, full smile. “One of our actors is out sick, I need you to fill in.” That began his career as a porno star in Spain. As Jose Torian the years went by Toiran www.energysexuality.com

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and his directors made a discovery: He had a natural ability to make women squirt. “The first time I made a woman squirt was with my first girlfriend. We were sixteen and making love in an elevator and all of a sudden there was all this water running down her legs,” he recalls, noting that at the time it was his penis, not his hands, that made the young damsel flood her pumps. Soon he became known in the Spanish adult film industry as the go-to actor for squirt scenes, which at the time were a novelty. “I became so well known that when an international pornography convention came to Spain, they wanted me to perform live in front of over a thousand people,” he said. But he was uncomfortable at the thought of a live performance. “In a room with your friends and a cameraman it was fine, but I didn’t want to be seen like that at a big party,” he said. “I was watching television a few weeks before I was supposed to perform, and saw this martial arts movie with Ninjas in it. I thought, ‘I can dress up like a Ninja for the sex show,’ which is what he did. “So we’re there and there are over a thousand people around this big stage, and the actress was there and she was ready, and the announcer says, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, Jose is about to make this woman squirt!’ I put my fingers in her and she started squirting in three seconds. The announcer went crazy. “Look at that! Three seconds!” “After that I became known as the Ninja Squirter, and I played that role in some porno films. I became so well known that a national television show booked me to come on and demonstrate how I could make a woman squirt. So it’s a week before the show and I’m getting nervous. Who am I to go on TV and do this? I’ve got to have some credentials. At the time I was reading a sexual guide book by Mantak Chia, the Taoist master. “I said to myself, ‘This is similar to what I’m doing!,’ So when I went on the show in my Ninja costume I said I was a Taoist Master teaching sexual Kung Fu. They had a model there, lying down, and I go to show the technique and the cameraman puts the camera right over my shoulder so you could see the woman’s vagina. It was right

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Professional Grade / Jose Torian’s Orgasmic Pulse Massage there, wide open, as I made her squirt. That was the first time they ever had shown a woman’s vagina on national television in Spain.” Someone watching the show contacted Mantak Chia in Thailand, reporting that there was a Taoist Master teaching sexual Kung Fu on Spanish television. Chia immediately contacted Toiran, asking for a meeting in Thailand. “I was on the next plane,” notes Toiran. “I had no idea what was going to happen, I just knew I had to go to Thailand.” After the two met, Torian was invited by Chia to stay at his Tao Garden health resort so the Master could properly train him in Taoism, and an apprenticeship of sorts began. “I think he saw that I had been in the darkness for a long time and was ready to come into the light,” notes Toiran. He took what he learned from Mantak Chia and developed his unique form of vaginal massage, which he calls “Orgasmic Pulse Massage.” Here’s Toiran’s unique vaginal Taoist Master Mantak Chia massage… “First, it’s all about the woman,” he notes. “Everything is about her pleasure. I have her lie down on my massage table, on her back, with a towel over her breasts and her vaginal area. I start off using warm coconut oil to massage her neck, her shoulders, her arms and her legs, never going near her breasts or vagina. I’ll make slow strokes www.energysexuality.com

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on her upper chest and her stomach, but I don’t go near those parts. If she starts to talk, I ask her to concentrate on her breathing. I want her to breathe down into her abdomen. Deep, relaxing breathes. I breathe in rhythm with her the whole time, right from the start. As she breathes in, I breathe in. As she breathes out, so do I, the whole time. “After almost an hour I’ll ask her if I can touch her breasts. I always want permission first. It’s all about trust. When I have permission I’ll take the towel away and start massaging her breasts, very gently, everything gently, and I’ll keep reminding her to breathe. “When it comes to taking the towel away from her vagina, I again ask for permission. “I’ll slip the towel off, and then place my left hand on her heart and my right hand

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Professional Grade / Jose Torian’s Orgasmic Pulse Massage on top of her mons. I’ll bring energy down into me, from above my head into me and then down my arms. I’ll feel the energy moving through my arms and many times I’ll use my right hand to sweep the energy up toward her heart, like you would push water in a pond, the ripples moving away from your hand as you pushed the water. I’m filling her heart with energy. “If she’s breathing deeply and is relaxed I’ll slip a latex glove on my right hand and use a lot of warm coconut oil to lubricate it, and then I’ll spend some time lubricating her vagina, very gently, moving my fingers up and down. “Depending on how she’s doing I’ll massage her clitoris, but I wait until she’s really relaxed. If I feel any tension at all when I’m running my fingers up and down her vaginal opening I’ll stop and remind her to breathe, and always my left hand is on her heart. When I feel she’s ready I’ll let my middle finger just rest on the opening of her vagina and I’ll say, “Take a deep breath in, and now breathe out”, and as she does, just like that, my finger will slip into her. I want her to feel as if she’s sucking my finger in. I’ll do the same with my third finger, so that now my middle and third fingers are inside of her entrance, with my index finger and pinky out to the sides, on the insides of her thighs. “I might take several minutes to gently push my fingers further in. At this point I’m really concentrating on feeling the energy moving through my right hand into her vagina, and I’m sending the energy up into my left hand, over her heart.” I asked Jose what he does if he feels the woman tense as his fingers go in. “That happens, especially if a woman has been sexually abused in the past. My www.energysexuality.com

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fingers will go in and, bam, just like that her vagina will close down around them. I’ll ask her if anything conscious comes to mind as to why her vagina is tightening up, and sometimes a memory surfaces, but sometimes not. I’ll just let my fingers be still and tell her to start breathing again, and I’ll just breathe with her and send energy into her until she relaxes. As I start to move my fingers again I’ll ask if she’s OK and usually just letting her relax into her breath lets her get back into the pleasure of it. “When she’s breathing in a nice, deep rhythm and my fingers are all the way in, I’ll instruct her to breathe up from her vagina into her uterus and raise the uterus up toward her chest. When she breathes out I tell her to push her uterus against my fingers. I’ll coach her on the breath until she’s doing it correctly. In Taoist practice, the woman is bringing sexual energy from her genitals up into her body, where it can be circulated. This is how this massage produces a full body orgasm. “I want her to feel the tips of my fingers deep inside of her, so if she can’t feel them while she’s exhaling I’ll do one of two things. One, I’ll make her laugh, and when she does the internal pressure will rise and her uterus will press into my fingers and I’ll ask her, ‘Feel that? That’s what you want.’ If it doesn’t seem like laughing would be the best thing I’ll have her cough so she can feel the movement of her uterus downward. “Once she’s breathing correctly her in-breath is usually a long, deep breath, and when she breathes out it’s usually like a ‘Ha…ha…ha…ha’; shorter,

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Professional Grade / Jose Torian’s Orgasmic Pulse Massage harder exhales, like waves, as she pushes down. Again, I’m breathing with her the whole time, so if she is pushing down and making ‘ha..ha…ha’ sounds, I’m making them, too. “Then I’ll start to massage her g-spot with my two fingers. I have five rhythms that I use. The first is a slow, steady beat…one, two…one, two, three…like a dance. The second one speeds up, and each one gets faster. Most women will come the first time with one of the three slower beats, but if not the speed and pressure of the fourth and fifth beats will do it. “Sometimes as she’s getting close to an orgasm she’ll arch her back or straighten her legs. These are signs she’s holding back. Again I’ll ask her if anything comes into her consciousness as to why she would want to close down, and if something does I’ll just let her tell me what it is, resting my fingers in her. If she starts to cry I’ll just be right there with her until the tears stop. Usually though she won’t be aware of why she’s tightening up and holding back, so I’ll ask her to flatten her back and relax again, or I’ll un-straighten her legs by bending her knees a bit. I’ll ask her, “Do you notice the difference in how relaxed you feel?” and then I’ll start again. “When I was in porno films I’d use a very fast, powerful, macho stroke, ‘making’ the woman come. But now I use the breath and slower strokes, and when she comes I help her move the energy up from her vagina into her whole body. It’s a totally different, whole-body experience for the woman. I could just put my fingers in her and make her come, but there would be no healing in that, no deeper experience.” “I always give her at least five squirting G-spot orgasms, because on the first one she’s usually like, ‘Wow, that was kind of weird.’ And then the second one is like, ‘Wow, I really like that,’ and by the time she gets to the fifth she’s totally into it, really breathing, really feeling it throughout her body.” When I asked Jose if he had any advice for men wanting to try vaginal massage, he said, “When men come to me they’re looking for tricks. But once they start doing this for their woman, their whole life changes.” www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Nineteen Conscious Decisions OM…Orgasmic Meditation Massage

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Conscious Decisions / OM... Orgasmic Meditation Massage

Wireless Connection

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icole Daedone, developer of Orgasmic Meditation, a unique form of vaginal massage producing an intense connection between partners, tells a wonderful story about how she discovered and then developed the technique. She begins from when she met a man at a party who offered to massage her clitoris. He started the massage by shining a light between her legs: “He began to describe what he saw. He said, ‘Your outer labia are coral. I’m noticing your inner labia have this red tone to them, and they’re swelling as I look at them.’ “I couldn’t hear anything after that because the tears just started flowing. Something began to thaw in me. I had never been looked at or felt that kind of compassion in that area before. So then he sat next to me and put his right thumb at the base of my introits, which is the area where you’d enter (when) you had intercourse, and he took his (left) finger and he stuck it in lubrication and he pulled his finger up and put it on the upper left hand quadrant of my clitoris…and he stroked up down, up down, up down, up down no firmer than you would stroke your eyelid, that tender tissue there. “So it was great because nothing happened, absolutely nothing…I was where I always am, or was, when I was in any kind of sexual act. I was in my head. I was thinking about whether or not I looked good. I was thinking about whether I was doing this thing right. I was thinking about whether or not this guy was kind of creepy. I was thinking about whether or not I was going to marry him. I was thinking about whether my stomach looked a little poochy…and then all of a sudden the traffic jam that was my mind broke open. And it was like I was on the open road and there was not a thought in sight. “And there was only pure feeling. And for the first time in my life I felt like I had access to that hunger that was underneath all of my other hungers. Which is a fundamental hunger to connect with another human being. And that was enough. And www.energysexuality.com

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in that moment I thought, ‘Oh my God, this is what it’s supposed to be like.’ “Now the amazing thing isn’t just that you can hit that place. It’s that you can hit it with another human being…Both people are putting their attention on the same point. It’s a fairly intense point, mind you…and then, just like a master chess player would get absorbed in a chess game or perhaps an Olympic athlete would get absorbed in their practice or a breathing mediator would get absorbed, you get absorbed into that place. The only difference is that you get to be absorbed there with your partner. You get to have this most profound and deep experience with another human being. Daedone goes on to explain that the orgasm she’s talking about differs from the kind most people think of when they hear that word. “I think we have a pleasure deficit disorder in this country…I (think) there is a cure, and that cure is orgasm. But it’s going to be a very different definition of orgasm than we know.” Is OM right for you? As Daedone points out, it only takes fifteen minutes, what do you have to lose? OM devotees claim a lot of benefits, from allowing many women who’ve never experienced a traditional orgasm before to experience them with ease, to feeling less stress and a greater sense of well-being (as in other forms of meditation), to a deep, soulful connection between lovers that carries their “normal” lovemaking to exquisite places never dreamed of before they began “OMing.” Here’s how it’s done: • Ask your partner for an OM session. Most people don’t ask for what they want in sex. This helps train you to ask for what you want. • Set up a space for the session. You’ll need a timer set for 13 minutes, lubrication, a hand Here’s how to set up a space for your OM towel, a blanket to lay on the floor, or a yoga massage. A soft hand towel should also be mat, a pillow for under the woman’s head, positioned under your lover’s vagina. another pillow or two to support her left leg,

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and a firm cushion for the man to sit on when he’s stroking his partner’s clitoris. Arrange the blanket or mat on the floor, with a pillow at one end for the woman to lay her head. Arrange the other pillows as well, with the lube close to the man’s cushion, and the hand towel on the mat or blanket, positioned under the woman’s rear end, to catch any fluids produced during the session. • The woman takes off her pants, leaving her top on, and lays on her back. The man remains fully clothed, and straddles the woman so his left leg is over her belly and his right knee is under her right knee, supporting it. The couple can rest with the man’s right foot and the woman’s left foot against each other. • The man sets himself up so his right arm is resting on the inside of the woman’s right knee/inner thigh. His left elbow rests on his left knee, perpendicular to his leg. www.energysexuality.com

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The OM massage fingering position.

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•

The man starts the timer, then lubricates his right thumb and left index finger. He places his right thumb at the bottom opening of the woman’s vagina, resting it there. He takes his left finger and wipes lubricant from the top of his partner’s vagina up over her clitoris, covering it. Next he begins to stroke the upper left quadrant of her clitoris (the Butterfly Spot) using light strokes up and down, up and down, up and down. • He continues stroking, starting off with very light pressure, and feeling into the spot where his finger is stroking. Both partners concentrate on the spot. He may increase or decrease pressure. If the woman likes what he does, fine. But she always has the option to let him know exactly what she wants. (Again, many if not most women have a diffucult time asking for pleasure. This practice allows them to experience how good that feels.) • When the timer goes off, the man uses both hands, palms down, to cover the woman’s vagina, pressing in on it, providing her with a feeling of security, letting her relax completely. He waits two minutes, giving both of them a chance to “come back” from the session. • Afterwards, each partner shares a moment from the OMing session. This is usually a “snapshot” of a feeling they experienced at some time during the thirteen minutes. • Lastly, the man uses the towel to clean off any excess lubricant from the woman, stroking the towel up once from the opening of the vagina up toward the clitoris. When they’re done, they put the mat and cushions away. Even if they decide to have “normal” sex, the props get put away to help keep the OMing sessions a separate practice. What is Daedone’s new definition of orgasm? “It’s not going to be that fleeting moment of climax that seems to take the rest of the act hostage. It’s going to be a definition of orgasm that actually works with a woman’s body, so that rather than trying to stuff a woman’s body into an ill-fitting definition, we have the definition work with what the woman’s body does,” she says. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Twenty From Here to Eternity Energetic Vaginal Massage

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From Here to Eternity / Energetic Vaginal Massage

UNDERLYING ISSUES

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ife and sex happen on two levels (this is a helpful simplification; there are many levels to experience). There is the surface level of things, what you can hear, touch, taste, smell and see. Below that there is the energetic level…the vast, unseen energy underlying existence. This is where true sexual masters hang out, where cultivating and moving energy in your body and your lover’s body become just as much a skill as making an omelet.

Next Up

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here are all kinds of lovers. For many men, just learning how to give a nonsexual, relaxing massage would be a quantum leap in their sexual skills. In fact, for some couples, if a man started to massage his partner on a regular basis without expecting sex in return, their whole relationship would improve so much their friends would wonder what had happened. There are other men with a basic set of lovemaking skills who are excellent when it comes to pleasing women in bed. Very rarely is this tied to the size of their penis or how long they last. Usually it’s much more their ability to connect on an emotional level, their skill at foreplay, and their sense of humor. Lastly, there are “next level lovers.” These men have open hearts, allowing them to deeply connect with a lover on an emotional and energetic level, where she can feel his energy pouring into her. And they know their way around a woman’s body so well that when they touch or enter a woman with their hands, mouth or penis, the woman experiences a force of nature. Sex guru David Deida says he likes to think of it this way: There are musicians that are technically proficient. Let’s say they’ve been learning how to play the violin

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for fifteen years. They have excellent finger work and rarely miss a note. Then there is the violinist with soul, or more exactly, a violinist that allows their soul to shine through the music, so that when you listen to them you’re moved to tears. The best lovers are like that. Their soul shines through their sex.

Practice Fields

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f you want to be one of these lovers then, like a master musician, you’ll need to practice. One skill you’ll want to practice is energetic vaginal massage. Energetic vaginal massage lets you play with the energy that enlivens your lover. It’s like you’re dipping your hand in a pool of water and creating a dance of ripples, swirls and eddies, conscious that your every touch creates a new pattern of flow. Of course, any time you have sex with another person you are knee-deep (or in our case, finger-deep) in their energetic field. Energetic vaginal massage offers you a way to consciously work with this unseen level of reality.

Tornado Watch

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he first step in learning this technique is to familiarize--or re-familiarize-yourself with “chakras.” Simply put, chakras are energy centers in the body. I’ll review them here because you’ll need a working knowledge of them in order to help orchestrate the energy inside your lover for incredible pleasure, health and consciousness-expansion. There are seven chakras, portals along the midline of the body where energy flows in and out of our physical bodies. Most people who work with chakras visualize them as whirling vortexes, little tornadoes extending up from specific locations and extending away from the body. (The word “chakra” comes from Sanskrit and means

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From Here to Eternity / Energetic Vaginal Massage “Wheel of spinning energy”.) A simplified illustration: Imagine your lover lying naked on her back. Now imagine a foot high tornado of bright orange energy, swirling clockwise, that has “touched down” on a spot located half way between your lover’s belly button and the top of her mons pubis. The little orange tornado is swirling there, bright and glowing, looking clean and healthy. That would be your love’s second chakra, which is associated with her sexuality, it being right over her uterus and other sexual organs.

The body’s seven chakras.

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But chakras are more than little tornadoes of energy. As sex coaches Pala Copeland and Al Link describe them: “Energy flows into the chakras from the world around you and out to the world from within, as well as up and down between them. The chakras can become blocked, making you feel physically or mentally sick and out of balance. Fully open, clockwisespinning chakras help energy to flow freely through your body and assist you in becoming a whole, healthy human being. The more balanced and open these centers are, the easier it will be for you to move your energy.” With energetic vaginal massage you’ll open and energize your lover’s chakras. She’ll not only becomes sexually healthier, but healthier in every aspect of her body, mind and spirit. By helping her generate and move energy in her body, you’re assisting her in opening her heart and consciousness in ways she may never have experienced. You may even be able to gift her with the experience of feeling connected to all of existence. So let’s get to know her chakras better so we can learn this subtle sexual art: • First chakra: The small end of the swirling tornado of energy that is the first chakra has touched down at your lover’s perineum and is glowing bright red. The chakra is associated with being safe, secure and grounded to the earth. When this chakra is healthy your lover feels calm and secure. As noted above, chakras can develop problems. Instead of swirling powerfully and brightly, they may slow down or dim. No longer bright and clear, the person experiences issues relating to this energy blockage. In the case of the first chakra, the person may experience trouble on the physical level with safety and security. • Second Chakra: As described above, this little energy tornado is bright orange and swirls at the midpoint between the naval and pubic bone. When open and swirling strongly, your lover feels balanced and confident, and comfortable with her sexuality. She’ll also be more readily orgasmic. (Open second chakras in men are associated with getting and maintaining strong erections.) When the second chakra is experiencing

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From Here to Eternity / Energetic Vaginal Massage problems, your lover may experience more fear, and may not be able to fully surrender during sex, preventing her from orgasming easily. • Third Chakra: Glowing a beautiful yellow, the vortex swirls above your lover’s solar plexus, right beneath her breastbone. An open third chakra is associated with feeling at ease in your body and enjoying emotional balance. When in trouble, the third chakra is associated with being uncomfortable in your body, and emotional mood swings. • Fourth Chakra: The “heart chakra,” swirls with a beautiful emerald green color. When open your lover will more easily experience and give from her heart. She’ll be in touch with her feelings, and relationships will be a high priority. The expansiveness she feels during lovemaking will be wide and deep; she’ll open for you during lovemaking like a flower opening to the sun. When the heart chakra is troubled, relationships tend to be more difficult. If she was hurt in previous romantic relationships, she will be more emotionally closed. She may think too much about your relationship, rather than trusting in it and letting go. It will be hard for her to be “all in,” and you’ll feel her closure. (One of the greatest gifts you can give a woman is to open her heart chakra and let the radiance within her shine forth into the world.) • Fifth Chakra: A beautiful turquoise blue swirls from the “throat chakra” located at the center of the throat. When open your lover will be able to express herself clearly and easily. She may like making sounds during sex that mirror her emotions. She may also greatly appreciate music, allowing it to transport her to more openness during sex. If your lover is having trouble with her fifth chakra, however, she may find it difficult to express herself and what she desires from you during sex, and she may be quiet during lovemaking (Obviously, other factors such as social conditioning play into this as well.) • Sixth Chakra: The sixth, or “third eye” chakra is located an inch or so above the eyebrows, in the center of your lover’s forehead. A beautiful indigo blue vortex swirls there. When open and swirling powerfully, your lover will be blessed with insight. www.energysexuality.com

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She’ll be able to see the reality of a situation. She’ll also be able to imagine the future. An open sixth chakra also allows you to have faith that you’re being supported in life by something bigger than yourself. When the sixth chakra is troubled, your lover will have difficulty “letting go and trusting” in the natural order of things, relying on her actions to shape her world. • Seventh Chakra: Located at the top of the head, the “crown” chakra’s color is a bright, diamond-white light. When blocked, your lover will be stuck in her ego, like most everyone else. When open, your lover will feel that her ego, with all its fears, has dissolved. She may feel connected to the oneness of all. In this transcendental state, the world of touch, taste, hearing, sight and smell fades. She experiences her true nature as unbounded consciousness. In the vaginal massage you’ll learn here, you’ll work with the crown chakra differently, as it’s more of a spiritual phenomenon, lying slightly above the body, rather than a physical energy center.

Good Vibrations

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o, how do you work with your lover’s chakras? You’ll enliven them by helping your lover generate energy in her genitals and move it through her body. To start, position your lover and yourself for a vaginal massage. Apply a large pea-sized drop of clitoral stimulating gel to her clitoris. Now “soak” her vagina in lubricant: Pour about four tablespoons of warm lube into your right hand and then use it to completely coat her vagina, rubbing the palm of your hand gently over the whole area. To start the massage, rest your left hand palm down, over your lover’s heart. Cup your right hand over her vagina, as if you were sealing it. The base of your hand’s palm should be covering her perineum, your fingers resting on her mons pubis. Tell her: “Breathe down here (as you move your right hand gently from side to side). Breathe

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For energetic massage try vibrating the palm of your hand on your lover’s vagina while your fingers vibrate her clitoris.

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down into your first chakra. Imagine that your first chakra is glowing bright red and swirling powerfully in a clockwise direction. Imagine the vortex swirling between your legs, and feel the energy brushing up against your thighs. With every breath, you’re energizing your first chakra. Feel yourself as strong and safe. Feel yourself grounded, really safe and grounded, completely taken care of. Breathe all the way down, and with every breath feel yourself getting more and more powerful down here.” As your woman continues to take deep breaths into her first chakra, press the palm of your hand into her vagina/perineum. Begin vibrating your hand back and forth. Imagine you are adding energy to her perineum. Breathe golden white energy down into the crown of your head, into your chest, out your right shoulder, and down your right arm into your hand. Imagine your hand glowing with golden white energy. Position your hand so your index and middle fingers are on either side of her clitoris. Start to vibrate your hand back and forth (this takes some practice). Lightly squeeze her clitoris between your fingers. Your fingers should slide up and down over her clitoral hood very quickly, in a blur of small side-to-side motions. Don’t try to slide your fingers back and forth over her clitoris, or press into it. Rather, sandwich the love button between your fingers, and they’ll naturally slide over her pink nub as you vibrate your fingers back and forth. Why not just use the vaginal massage techniques you’ve already learned, rather than vibrating your hand over her vagina and clitoris? One reason: In energetic vaginal massage you’ll use your left hand to help your lover direct energy into and between chakras, rather than tending to the Butterfly Spot. You could use the thumb of your right hand to stimulate your partner’s clitoris, while your index and/or middle fingers pampered her G-spot. But vibrating your hand as described above usually produces a more diffuse energy most women find easier to move. Try the vibration technique first for your energetic vaginal massages. If it doesn’t give you the results you want, use G-spot stimulation (see below). As you vibrate your hand, ask your partner for advice about pressure and speed.

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From Here to Eternity / Energetic Vaginal Massage For example, “Is that good pressure for you?” “Would you like me to move my fingers slower or faster?” Again, this sort of questioning at first seems tiresome, but after a half dozen times you’ll have learned enough so that simple mid-course corrections by her (“Wow, that’s great, but slow down a little so I can really focus on the sensations”.) will be all you two need. Keep vibrating your hand and squeezing her clitoris until she orgasms.

Healthy Options Important note: If your lover doesn’t orgasm during energetic vaginal massage, don’t fret. If she doesn’t have a single orgasm while you tend to her energy centers she’ll still benefit tremendously from your attentions. Like most men, most women aren’t adept at moving energy in their bodies, but you can help her learn through this practice. Chances are this is new territory for the both of you. Keep a playful, curious attitude and your heart open. Having said that, if it doesn’t seem like she’s going to orgasm as you’re vibrating her vagina and clitoris (or she says something like, “That’s great, but I don’t think I’m going to come right now.”), tell her you’re going to slip a finger or two into her vagina and then start massaging her G-spot. This may allow her to orgasm. If it does, follow the directions on how to move to the second chakra, and use the same technique there. If it doesn’t, simply ask her: “Would you like me to move to your second chakra now?” If so, again follow the directions for moving to the next chakra and continue. Now move on to the second chakra. To make the transition to the second chakra, slow your right hand motion gradually, eventually stopping. Take a deep breath, and as you exhale move your left hand from her heart, palm facing down, to her second www.energysexuality.com

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chakra, imagining a bright orange vortex swirling up from it into the room. Gently rub your left hand in a clockwise direction to help your lover focus on the energy center under your hand. Start vibrating your right hand again, building up slowly to a fast, steady motion. Say: “Breathe energy from your first chakra up here now. Breathe it here.” For her part, she should imagine pulling the energy up from her first chakra into her second, while visualizing the second chakra getting bigger and glowing brighter: A beautiful, brilliant, orange vortex flowing in a clockwise direction up out of the chakra and up into the room above her, filling the room with orange light. This sort of breath/energy work comes naturally to some women, but not most. With your help your lover can train herself to open her chakras and move energy in her body. You are facilitating a wonderfully healthy practice for her. She may orgasm easier and become more adventuresome in bed as old patterns fall away and her body opens to more energy, sexual and otherwise. Keep massaging her belly in a clockwise direction as she breathes into her second chakra (if you can’t vibrate your right hand and move your left hand at the same time, just let your left hand rest on the second chakra). Again, imagine delivering energy down into the spot through your left hand. Tell her: “Imagine a beautiful orange vortex swirling up from your second chakra. Its glowing a bright beautiful orange and it’s strong and powerful. Feel how sexy you feel. Feel how sexy you are, how hot you are. Feel how attractive you are. You are a sex kitten. A sex Goddess. Feel it as you breathe down here.” As she breathes into the second chakra continue to vibrate your hand while your fingers move on her clitoris. If she comes, or if she doesn’t, follow the guidelines above for moving to the next chakra: Slow the movement of your right hand, eventually coming to a stop. Move your left hand up to her third chakra and tell her to breathe energy from the second chakra up to the third. With your left hand on her solar plexus, tell her:

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“Breathe here, Baby. Move some of that energy from your second chakra up here. Imagine a beautiful yellow swirling vortex coming up from here and filling the room with gorgeous yellow light.” Start vibrating your hand faster, building speed, until your fingers are slipping over her clitoris in a blur of activity. Say: “Feel how powerful you are, Sweetheart. You can see a bright yellow vortex of energy swirling up toward the ceiling. It’s strong and bright. Keep breathing into it and filling it with energy. You feel so confident, so strong and powerful in the world. Feel your power to get things done in this world as you breathe into your third chakra.” Again, if she comes, or doesn’t, follow the directions above for moving your left hand to her heart chakra. Tell her: “God you have a beautiful heart. Breathe into your heart and imagine a beautiful green light swirling up toward the ceiling as you breathe into it. Feel your ribs expand. Feel your heart shoot light up into the sky and out to the sides for miles and down into the earth for miles, too. With every breath you take, your heart chakra is glowing brighter and brighter.” At this point, she should concentrate on breathing energy up from her third chakra into her heart, and as she does, see and feel the energy radiate out for miles up into the sky, and out to her left and right and down for miles into the earth. Many women will find their heart chakra the easiest to work with. As your lover breathes deeply into her chest she’ll feel it expand, and, since she is a creature of the heart, this lets her melt into feelings of radiating love through her and out into the world. Start to vibrate your right hand/fingers again, building up to as quick a vibration as you can over a period of two minutes. With practice you’ll know what pace works best. After she orgasms, or when the time is right, move your left hand to her fifth, or “throat” chakra. At this point, depending on your dimensions, you may not be able to comfortably put your hand on her throat while you continue to vibrate your right hand.

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From Here to Eternity / Energetic Vaginal Massage Don’t be concerned if you can’t touch her throat. Just focus your attention on the area as you continue to vibrate her to another orgasm. Tell her: “Breathe into your throat. See a bright, turquoise light shooting up toward the sky, my Love. All the way up past the ceiling and into the sky. A bright, beautiful blue turquoise vortex of energy shooting up toward the sky. Feel how well you can be heard. How easily you can speak your truth. How you can speak from your heart and your gut. How people listen to you when you speak. Feel how good it feels to give a voice to your feelings of excitement and pleasure. Really let yourself go. Let the sounds come. Give a voice to your pleasure, Sweetheart.” Be her champion. Help her dissolve any conditioning she’s had that she shouldn’t give a voice to her emotions during sex. By encouraging her to moan, shout, scream and whimper during sex, you give her permission to open even more. Create an environment where she can experiment with giving voice to her sexual passion. It’s all about her trusting you enough to let those delicious feelings she’s been keeping inside come out with you. Again, after she orgasms or when it’s time, slow your right hand and move your left hand up toward her sixth chakra, located between and slightly above your lovers’ eyebrows. If you can touch it, fine. And it’s fine if you can’t. For those adept at working with the sixth chakra, they see it as a portal opening to the sky above. When they have moved their attention there, they report feeling that the forehead becomes like a thin, transparent, pane of glass replacing the skin and bone of the forehead. Tell her: “Now, My Love, imagine there’s a beautiful indigo light streaming up from your third eye. It’s a beautiful shade of indigo, and its swirling in a powerful vortex up into the sky. Feel it shooting up into the air, filling the room with a gorgeous indigo light. Feel connected to the beautiful, vast blue sky above. (Note: if it’s nighttime, say “the vast night sky above”.) Feel your intuition, your power to see the future, your insight. And feel how good that feels to be so open, so connected to everything.” At this point, tell her: “As you’re breathing into and opening your third eye, I www.energysexuality.com

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want you to press the tip of your tongue into where your teeth meet the roof of your mouth. Do that now.” This practice creates an energetic circuit between the first and sixth chakras. Your lover may feel a direct “current” of energy running from her first chakra to her third eye. Tell her: “Now feel the connection between your first chakra and your third eye. Feel how at one you are with the sky above and the earth below. Your first chakra is glowing bright red and swirling between your legs, connecting you to the earth. And your sixth chakra is wide open, as if it were a portal and you’re looking up into the infinite sky above, at one with that energy as well. And the two energies meet in your heart, and your heart is wide open and beautiful and glowing. Feel how open you are.” Imagine this: Your partner is feeling connected to heaven above and earth below, and she’s feeling energy running from her vagina to her third eye. She’s wide-open, with no boundaries, her heart glowing with love in all directions. You’ve given her a gift no other guy could possibly have given. You are a next level lover. Congratulations.

Return Trip

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t some point it will be time to bring your lover back from her transcendental trip, and ground her back into her body on the bed. Slow your right hand, to a stop, and then cup her vagina with it, pressing in. Imagine sealing the energy that’s built up there beneath your hand. Just hold this position for a while, and let the feelings you’ve helped create spread through her from under your hand, down her legs and up her torso. After a minute or so, tell her: “Now feel the top of your head open up. Feel it dissolve. And feel your consciousness expand out and up. Imagine a bright, diamond-white light radiating up out of the top of your head, up to the sky and beyond. And feel how connected you have become with everything. Let your body disappear, and feel yourself as pure white light, connected with

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From Here to Eternity / Energetic Vaginal Massage everything, your consciousness expanded all the way up to the sky and all the way out for miles to each side and for miles in back…and feel how good that feels.” After a minute or so, say: “Now I want you to imagine bright, diamond white light flowing from the crown of your head and flowing down and covering your entire body, bathing it in bright diamond-white energy, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. And feel that energy flowing into every cell of your body, enlivening it. Just breathe and relax and let this beautiful diamond-white energy flow through you, and feel how good that feels...” After a minute or so, take your hand from her vagina, lay down beside her, and hold her in your arms. Tell her: “I’ve got you. You did great. Just relax.” Where you go from here is up to the two of you. If you have sex, you’ll probably find your woman open, responsive, and longing to please. www.energysexuality.com

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Chapter Twenty One Mouthing Off Combining Vaginal Massage with Cunnilingus

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Mouthing Off / Combining Vaginal Massage with Cunnilingus

Double Play

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f you’ve ever fingered your lover’s vagina while performing cunnilingus on her at the same time, you know it can be sexual TNT. One reason the combination is so explosive is that the clitoris and G-spot are as intimately connected as the head of your penis and its shaft (some men don’t excel at coordinating mouth and finger play well because they don’t realize this). Men need to stop thinking of the clitoris, G-spot, perineum, anus and cervix as being separate spots on the treasure map of their lover’s genital area. They’re more like power stations connected by underground cables, and what happens with one is immediately felt throughout the whole system. To a lesser extent this connectivity is present throughout your partner’s entire body: If you’re rubbing her big toe with gentle, loving strokes, her clitoris and G-spot (and everything else in her body, too) feels the pleasure. Around her vagina the connections are just closer and more direct. Using this insight allows you to give your lover intense pleasure. Imagine this: You’re massaging your lover’s vagina and she’s rolling from one orgasm to the next. To give her a different sensation, you squirt some lube in your mouth, warming it, then bend down so that your mouth is just over her clitoris. You drizzle the lube onto your fingers as they continue to pleasure her pink nub. The lube works its way down over her clitoris, down onto the fingers in her vagina. You bend down even more (you’ve been going to those yoga classes, right?) and, taking your left hand away, take her clitoral shaft into your mouth. You gently suck it while you continue to finger her. After awhile, you use your tongue to first swipe down over her clitoris, and then lick up, hitting the Butterfly Spot as you go. A nice change of pace for both of you. A more common variation is to change your position so you’re laying between her legs, your fingers in her vagina and your mouth over her love button. Treat yourself www.energysexuality.com

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right by slipping a pillow beneath her pelvis to relieve any strain from your neck. Press your shoulders into the backs of her legs, supporting them, so she can drape her

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Mouthing Off / Combining Vaginal Massage with Cunnilingus legs over your shoulders or let her feet rest on the bed. To take full advantage of the interconnectedness of the G-spot and clitoris here’s what to do (this move adapted from Ian Kenner’s excellent book, “She Comes First,” a great book on the art of cunnilingus): Insert two fingers into her vagina and make the “come here” motion on her g-spot. Spread your tongue flat, and run your tongue from just above where your fingers have entered her vagina, up over her clitoris, and then press your flat tongue against her clit, holding your tongue still. This grounds your tongue on her, and gives her a chance to push against it for more stimulation. After ten to fifteen seconds, back off a bit and stimulate her more directly with your tongue. An excellent move is to mimic what your fingers do in a vaginal massage: Lap at her Butterfly Spot with a steady rhythm. No need for fancy tongue work, just use the tip of your tongue on the upper left quadrant of her clitoris, keeping a steady rhythm, until she orgasms. Once she does, you might have to stop licking if her clitoris gets too sensitive. Let her guide you as to when to stop and start again. Another move: Once you pleasure her Butterfly Spot, use the tip of your tongue to push the clitoral hood up, so the slick underside of the tip of your tongue is sliding back and forth over her clitoral head, all the while continuing to stroke her g-spot. Note that many men make the mistake of performing cunnilingus like the actors in porno movies. Don’t fall for this. In porno, the camera needs a good view of the vagina. So the actors performing cunnilingus keep themselves at a distance, swiping at the clit as if trying to lick the top of an ice cream cone with just the tip of their tongues. What feels much better to your lover is to smother the clitoris and surrounding area with your warm, wet mouth, and then use your tongue in a much broader gentler, sensual way. (Pretending to “make out” with her vagina and clitoris can give the softness that feels right to her.) You can really take advantage of the connection between the G-spot and clitoris by literally pressing them together: As your fingering her G-spot, apply more pressure straight up, toward your tongue, which is on your lover’s pleasure button. Experiment www.energysexuality.com

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with pressure. Press your tongue down and your fingers up and use very small movements to lick and stroke. This allows your lover to focus on all the sensations coming into her. Keep this up until she orgasms or gives you an indication that she might like you to do. Another way to play while your mouth and fingers are dancing a duet: Turn the fingers of your right hand down toward the bed and press, stretching the clitoris and the nerves traveling down toward the perineum. At the same time use the index and middle fingers of your left hand to stretch the clitoral hood up, baring the pink pleasure ball beneath, and gently lick her Butterfly Spot. You want to give your lover plenty of sensations when you’re tonguing and fingering her, but you can also play with sensitivity. Here’s what I mean. If you press and hold your flat tongue onto your woman’s clitoris, while you press and hold your fingers on her G-spot, you are giving her a single sensation. As she focuses on that one sensation, she may become more sensitive. Then, when you move your tongue or fingers, it’s like a flood gate opens and sensations pour into her. (If you are vigorously moving your fingers and tongue at the same time she’s getting a lot more sensation, but she may not be as sensitive. Think of it this way: It’s as if you were doing a biceps curl with a forty pound dumbbell, and a fly landed on your hand. You might not feel the fly. Your nervous system would be focused on the weight in your hand. Once you put the weight down, you would easily feel a fly land on you, because with less distraction your nervous system becomes more sensitive. So you can go back and forth, playing between sensitivity and sensation, using your tongue and fingers to orchestrate a wonderful symphony of pleasure between your lover’s legs. The wild man on a lick fest has his place, but it’s a style of cunnilingus that’s probably overused. All the soaring sensations of anal play, and all of the cautions that go with them, are options when you’re combining tongue and finger play. At some point you might slip the tip of your pinky finger into her anus to see what kind of reception it gets.

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Like what you’re reading? For more information on how to get the best sex of your life and enjoy nearly drama-free relationships, visit us at… Energy Sex Insider…the YouTube channel. “www.Energysexuality.com”…the website/ blog. Or write the author... “[email protected]”

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Chapter Twenty Two Help From a Friend Using the Crystal Wand

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Help From a Friend / Using the Crystal Wand

Power Tool

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woman told me this story: “My marriage had been nearly sexless for over ten years. It was like I was a flower starving for water; I just kept shrinking. When the marriage finally ended I decided it was time to explore my sexuality. I made an appointment with a sexual practitioner, a man who worked with women whose sexuality had been damaged in some way, either through trauma or neglect. “He was a very kind, loving man with a lovely wife. He worked with me for several days, opening me back up into my sensual body, which I’d lost touch with. On the last day of our work together he laid me down on a mat in his studio, and put a pillow underneath my pelvis. He gently massaged me, relaxing me, and then lubricated my vagina. “Then he took out a special tool. It was made out of clear acrylic plastic and had an s-shape, and on one end a bulb that had ridges in it. He asked me if he could insert this into my vagina, and I said yes. Once he had it inside of me he started pulling it back and forth so the bulb stimulated the roof of my vagina and my G-spot. He was really intent on working that spot with www.energysexuality.com

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the tool, and I immediately became really wet down there. He kept stroking it in and out with a steady rhythm and the sensations kept getting stronger and stronger. He moved it faster and faster, and all of a sudden something let go down there. I couldn’t help it, I had this big orgasm that spread all over my body and I could feel all this liquid, like someone had poured a glass of water between my legs. It was my first squirting orgasm.” The sex guru had used the Crystal Wand, a sexual aid that’s been used for years to help open women’s vagina to more pleasure. Cynthia Lamborne, the Wand’s creator, tells how it came about: “In 1990 I was in India, sitting in meditation. I’d been thinking about how many women needed an inner flowering. They didn’t have a lot of energy in their vaginas, and I was wondering how I could help with that. A picture of the Crystal Wand came to me in my mind’s eye, and I immediately drew a picture of it,” she told me. “After I’d had this vision I went to Bali, to a village known Cynthia Lamborne, inventor of the Crystal for its woodworking, and I had them Wand. carve several different variations of what I’d seen, in the shapes of dolphins, cobras, and Gods and Goddesses. When I got back home we made the original Crystal Wand in acrylic.” The Wand is a godsend to men that feel uncomfortable using their fingers to massage their woman’s vagina, and for men with extremely callused hands. It’s also a great way to “break the ice,” and get comfortable with the skill. To pleasure your

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Help From a Friend / Using the Crystal Wand woman with the Wand, simply follow the directions given throughout this book, but substitute the wand for your right hand. Instead of inserting your index finger into the vagina, liberally lubricate the bulb end of the Wand and slip it inside. The natural curve of this sexy helpmate makes it easy to use. You’ll simply move the wand in and out of the vagina. No need to try to find the G-spot or press into it. For the basic vaginal massage, you’ll stroke your lover’s clitoris with your left hand while pulling the Wand’s ridged, bulb end back and forth over her G-spot. Start slow, and gradually increase the speed of your thrusts and pulls. Ask for feedback. If your lover seems to have hit a plateau in her excitement level, ask if she’d like more speed. If she seems pleased with what you’re doing, establish a steady rhythm and keep it up, letting yyour lover’s orgasm blossom under your guidance. After using the Wand several times it will become an extension of your hand. The instructions that come with this sublime sex toy note that the orgasms women experience when their partners use it to stimulate their G-spots are, “a deeper and more overwhelming feeling, a more pervasive flowing sensation throughout the body, of wider waves of feeling.” The Wand is also wonderful for “opening,” your woman’s vagina to more pleasure. In Chapter Two we talked about how tensions from past mental, physical and emotional traumas can be “stored” in the vaginal’s tissues. Lamborne talks about these areas as “emotions not fully felt”. She says, “They are embedded in the tissues of the vagina and can make it less than soft and welcoming; these areas of tension can be hard and lumpy.” The areas can also be numb, painful or tight, and decrease your lover’s ability to feel pleasure. Oftentimes a woman is unaware of how her vagina has shut down. “In this day and age women are being more masculinized in their sexuality. They want quantities of orgasms rather than a depth of experience. That’s the propaganda out there, and it’s a very masculine way of looking at sex. It’s about an end product, www.energysexuality.com

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sensation and orgasms. But healing only takes place when a woman can be fully present in the moment.” If you’d like to help your lover to more pleasure, use the Crystal Wand to release the tension she’s holding in her vagina. Here are Lamborne’s guidelines: • “First you need to create an environment that is absolutely safe,” she says, emphasizing that you have to reassure your lover that you’re not going to judge her. “Let her know that anything that comes up and comes out is OK. Fear, anger…all these emotions can come up as you work with her.” Physically create a space that’s comfortable for your lover. Place a pillow under each of her knees as she lays on her back. “As her second chakra opens up, she’ll feel her legs want to naturally open, and she may notice tension there, in her inner thighs, from habitually tightening the muscles there,” says Lamborne. “When she notices that, without blaming herself, she should put her attention there and just breathe into the tension. If she relaxes and breathes into it, she can release the blockages stored there, which are usually in layers.” • Have the intension that you’re there to help and heal, and direct that intention through theWand, into your lover’s vagina, imagining the vagina becoming more open and welcoming. • “Her breath is very important,” explains Lamborne. “She needs to connect with her breath, tuning into it, tuning into a more relaxed inner state and noticing what’s going on internally. For example, a man can place his hand on his lover’s lower abdomen or touch the top of her pubic bone, and then have her breathe deeply while bringing her attention inside her body, right below where he’s touching.” • “The curve of the Wand is designed to find the G-spot and stimulate it, but the first time you’re using it you’ll want to explore the whole vaginal area. Imagine the vaginal opening is a clock, and gently go around the clock with the Wand, pressing into each “hour” on the clock face, while the woman breathes into each point, relaxes and opens through it,” says Lamborne.

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Help From a Friend / Using the Crystal Wand “Once you circle the entrance to the vagina you should explore deeper, moving the wand in, and continue to move it around in a circle, and if the woman continues to relax and breathe into the areas being stimulated, she’ll naturally release traumas,” points out the Wand’s creator. • “The amount of tension that’s released depends on how many layers of tension there are, the woman’s consciousness, her ability to focus and dive into her breath and relax into it” says Lamborne. “She shouldn’t try to get someplace, but should relax into the moment, and be there with the tissue, with her body, and feel what’s there. The body will talk to you. See what it’s saying.” • Lamborne cautions that sometimes the process can be painful. “Something unwinds in the moment and the woman feels a lot of pain,” she notes. At that point, you should back off the point you’re working on. “Back up a bit, but still hold the Wand on the spot so she can still feel it. Let her be with the sensation and breathe into it, knowing that it will unwind itself.” Lamborne says that when you help your woman to release tensions held in her vagina she may: • Become much more orgasmic. • Develop a new sense of openness in many areas of her life. • Experience herself as more sexual, and connected with “the natural flavors and qualities her feminine nature”. • Experience much more confidence. • Notice that her hips and pelvis loosen up, so she moves “with more flow”. • Have her second and third chakras open up, and become harmonized, so she experiences more creativity, sexuality and has an easier time being effective in the world. And all these benefits may come to her because you took the time to massage her vagina. Cool.

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For

Women Only...

Opening Yourself to Love 161

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Dear Women, This book teaches men an awesome sexual skill that can be a stepping stone toward the best sex of your life, and a deeper level of intimacy than you’ve ever experienced before. But we men can’t do this alone. Many women are waiting for the right man to come into their life who knows how to “push all the right buttons” during sex. They think it’s all up to the man to excite them. The problem with this thinking is that: One, most men have pitiful sexual skills. And… Two, women are so different when it comes to what turns them on, that unless you tell a man what you need in order to experience pleasure, the chances of him providing that for you through his fortune-telling skills are slim. And there are other reasons women aren’t getting the pleasure they deserve in bed. Here are just a few: • The Bad Girl Syndrome. Women think that if they ask for what they want in bed, and then express how they’re feeling through screaming, scratching, moaning, whimpering and orgasming all over the place in the heat of passion, that their men will think they are “bad”. Talk to your man about this, because women take their cues about how sexually expressive they can be from their lovers. You need to know that when you completely open up, he’s going to encourage you. I started this book by talking with men about the benefits of giving you all the pleasure you can handle. Now it’s up to you to drive this point home. Tell him you want and need lots of positive feedback when you let yourself go. You may never feel completely comfortable letting massive amounts of pleasure flow through your body, and unlimited love flow through your heart, unless you have this conversation. www.energysexuality.com

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You also need to be ready if he is intimidated by your newfound passion. You need to let him know that without him you wouldn’t be enjoying yourself so much, and reassure him that you absolutely adore that he is promoting your pleasure. Your man wants to be your “knight in shining armor”. So if he’s helping you enjoy yourself more, you’ve found a winner! Tell and show him how much you appreciate him. Promote his masculinity by letting him direct you more and more in the bedroom and out, just like he’s promoting your radiance. • Being Too Much In Their Masculine Energy. Women are acting more like men these days, as they take on traditionally masculine roles at work and home. Often they act like men better than most men do. But then, naturally, they have a difficult time feeling into their femininity. Women have to make a conscious choice in the bedroom to leave their masculine roles behind, in order to feel like women again. Otherwise you end up with two guys (one encased in a female body) having sex with each other. • Rough Handling, Including The Loss Of Your Virginity In Less-Than-Perfect Circumstances. Rough-handling and incompetent male sexual partners are everywhere. And since there’s no training for young men on how to deflower a virgin with grace and love, many women’s first taste of sex is at best laughable, and more often than not dreadful. It’s no wonder so many women’s vaginas are closed to pleasure. The remedy: Start healing the mind/body residues left by physically and emotionally painful sexual experiences. And create wonderful new ones to take their place. Start having your partner work with you to release tensions stored in your vagina, and to work on opening your heart through self-help practices such as chakra clearing and ecstatic dance, as well as professional help in the form of sex and relationship coaching. • A Shut Down Sexual Body/Mind. If you’ve found a partner who is working on mastering the art of vaginal massage and other sexual and conscious-raising skills, be grateful. You’re lucky, because only

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a handful of men on the planet are committed to that path. But you have to play your part as well. You need to take responsibility for the pleasure you experience in the bedroom into your own hands (no pun intended). Learn to turn yourself on, so when an enlightened lover comes to you, you’ll be able to fully enjoy his skills. Below is a program to help. SETTING YOUR INTENTION If you want to relax, let go, and open yourself to pleasure and love at the hands of a trusted lover, then you should set that intension. Affirmations work, so use them. Write “I am fully open to pleasure and love!” on a 3” by 5” card, and keep it in your purse or pocket. Look at it three times a day. When you do, imagine what it would feel like to have a vagina fully opened to pleasure, and a heart wide open to love. Get a clear picture in your mind about how you would look. How would you be standing? Breathing? What clothes, shoes, accessories, make-up and jewelry would you be wearing? How would you move? What would be your tone of voice? Would you have a different hair color? You might get ideas by visualizing actresses that seem to have the qualities you want. Imagine being in their minds and bodies. How does it feel? Write the same affirmation on another 3” by 5” card. Tape it to your bathroom mirror so you can look at it often. Lay quietly for two or three minutes in the morning, after you wake up but before you get out of bed, and practice producing the feeling in your body of already having a wide open vagina and heart. Breathe how you would breathe. Under the covers, move your hips and pelvis the way you would move. Part your legs and feel yourself completely opened to pleasure. Breathe golden white energy up from between your legs into your vagina, imagining your vagina becoming more open and juicy. Pull that energy up into your heart. Imagine a beautiful, vibrant, healthy emerald green vortex of light swirling up from your heart, like a bedroom-sized tornado. Imagine the light from your heart filling www.energysexuality.com

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the room, and then expanding out in all directions for miles, down the street, down into the earth, and up into the sky. Practice the following activities throughout the day, taking time each day to become more open:

ACTIVITY ONE: Ecstatic Dance

Set aside ten minutes each morning to dance ecstatically. Find music that makes you want to move your hips. As you’re dancing, go inside. Watch your breath move in your body. Let the music move through you in the same way. Let the music move you. Sing and shout if you want. Work up a sweat. As you dance, bring your attention to your pelvis, hips and vagina. Feel the energy there. Let the music shake out any blocks that are keeping you closed and stiff. As you dance,

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feel into your heart. Imagine the people in your life you care about, and pour love out to them. Imagine your lover, and flow beautiful energy through your heart and out to him, enveloping him in it. If you do nothing else, dance to open yourself. As Rumi said, “Dance until you shatter your Self.”

ACTIVITY TWO: Using the Crystal Wand To Open Your Vagina

Open your vagina using the Crystal Wand, as outlined in Chapter Twenty Two. Place your left hand over your heart as you use the tool to release tension from your vagina.

ACTIVITY THREE: Energizing Your Vagina, Heart and Third Eye Chakra

After using the Crystal Wand several times, start energizing your vagina. Here’s how: Lay on your back with your legs spread and your knees supported by pillows. With your eyes closed, look down at your vagina, bringing your attention there. Inhale through your mouth, and imagine bringing golden white energy up from the space between your legs into your vagina. Contract your pubococcygeal muscles (as if you were stopping the flow of urine), imagining that you’re holding the energy in your

vagina. Now breathe out through your mouth while making an “Ahhhh” sound, and relaxing your PC muscles. Keep the image of a golden white ball of energy inside your vagina. Continue breathing in this way, imagining that you are bringing more energy into your vagina with every breath. Notice any pleasurable sensations in your body, and amplify them. Many women unfortunately clench their bodies when they begin to feel

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pleasure. Train yourself instead to relish these sensations, and practice intensifying them. After awhile, when you’re feeling full of energy in your vagina, focus on your heart. With your eyes still closed, look at your heart. Breathe energy from the golden white ball you’ve been building in your vagina up into your heart. Feel the connection between your mind (which you’ve been developing as you use your eyes to look at where you want energy to flow), heart and vagina. Practice this energy work for twenty minutes each day, or as time allows.

ACTIVITY FOUR: Self Pleasuring Without Orgasm

Note: This program was given to me by Devi Ward, a wonderful sex coach in Seattle, Washington (www.deviwardtantra.com). The twenty-minute program is designed to increase your awareness of how much pleasure is available to you from simply focusing on your clitoris while pleasuring yourself with your fingers. Ward advises not to use a vibrator, so you can feel into your pleasure and modulate your excitement. Here’s Devi Ward’s twenty-minute orgasm practice: 1. Ward encourages you to set a timer for twenty minutes. Creating a time frame helps women who might feel overwhelmed at the idea of being pleasured for an undetermined length of time. She chose Sex coach Devi Ward twenty minutes because it takes that much

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time in a meditation practice for the brain to receive full benefits. Also, she notes it often takes twenty minutes or more for women to reach their full state of arousal. 2. Lay flat on your back with your head comfortably elevated. You’ll want to be naked from the waist down. Your legs will be open, so use pillows to support your knees. Ward notes, “You want to be SUPER comfortable the WHOLE time.” You must be totally relaxed in order to receive the full healing benefit of this practice. 3. Begin by placing one hand on your heart, and one hand over your vulva (the outside of your vagina). Close your eyes, and take twenty one deep breaths in and out through your nose to prepare your mind for pleasure. 4. Keeping your hands comfortably placed, begin to take deep breathes in and out through your mouth. As you exhale, make a soft “ahhhh” sound, as if sighing into a deep state of bliss. Continue until you feel very relaxed. 5. Begin firmly massaging your vulva, starting with your Mons Pubis (the fleshy pad that sits on top of your pubic bone). Continue breathing through an open mouth and sounding “Ahhh”. Massage your vulva from the top down, focusing only on the outer labia and the vaginal opening (save the clitoris for later). Continue this massage for approximately two to three minutes. Ward likes to say until “you feel full”. 6. Put some natural organic lube on your finger tips (coconut oil is great), and begin slowly massaging your clitoris in circles. Continue making your “ahhh” sound and breathing with an open mouth. Observe which areas of your clitoris give the most pleasure when rubbed. The right side, left side, top, bottom…where is your “sweet spot”? 7. When you find your “pleasure spot” change your circular massage to an up and down stroke. Short, fast strokes build excitement and pleasure, while long, slow strokes slow down the buildup of excitement, or maintain a steady level of pleasure. 8. Continue stroking your clitoris in this way for the remainder of your time, never allowing yourself to go past a nine on your pleasure scale (one being numb, ten “going over the edge” into orgasm). Remember that short, fast strokes build excitement, and www.energysexuality.com

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when you reach an eight or nine, long, slow strokes will let you hang out in bliss. 9. Ding! When your twenty minutes is up, you’re done. Then you can make the choice “to continue awakening your full orgasmic potential,” says Ward, or simply stop and go about your day.

A FEW NOTES ON THE TECHNIQUE:

1. This practice can be done as often as you like. 2. Devi notes, “Use ONLY your finger for this practice. No Vibrators! What I’ve found is that I have a lovely twenty minute adventure, and experience all sorts of new sensations in my body and my clitoris. Also, I notice how much longer my arousal process takes with just my fingers, as opposed to my trusty vibe, so I get to really observe going through all of the various stages of female sexual arousal.” Many women devote hours to an exercise or yoga program each week, but have never taken the time to develop an ability to feel pleasure. As I said at the start, we men want to help, but we can’t do it alone. Take the time to open. It’s what you were made to do.

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Opening Yourself to Love / For Women Only

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EPILOGUE Do you really want to give your woman all the pleasure she can handle?

Eye Opener

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remember when it hit me that maybe men were intimidated by women capable of enjoying unbounded pleasure. I’d downloaded a free e-book on hypnotism. It turned out to be a whopping three hundred and forty six pages. In one section the author talked about using hypnosis to let women experience making love to their favorite movies stars. Wow. That was an idea I hadn’t heard of before. I thought, what else could you hypnotize a lover to believe? Maybe you could make some of your own fantasies come true, too. I immediately wrote a hypnosex script for my girlfriend. It included a fifteen minute “induction,” where I would help her relax into a deep hypnotic trance. After she was in the trance I would command her to carry out whatever fantasy I wanted. Then I would “wake” her by saying, “One, two, three, wide awake!” The other key element of the script was to say, “And when I say, ‘Sleep!’ you will fall back into this deep trance state that you are in now.” Once I’d finished my script I couldn’t wait for my girlfriend to fly in from out of town on Thanksgiving Day. I was picking her up at the airport and we were driving eleven hours to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida to attend a couples’ relationship workshop the next day. My thinking was that we’d try the hynposex script at a rest stop, in the back of my Honda Element, which had fold-down rear seats allowing my lover to lay down and relax.

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We’d just crossed into Georgia and had our Thanksgiving dinner at a rest stop on I-95. As my girlfriend tidied up, I arranged a big sleeping bag and fluffy pillow in the back seat. She lay down, and in a rest stop parking lot on I-95 I hypnotized her for the first time. My first fantasy was for her to believe with one hundred percent conviction that she was fifteen years old, in the back of my car at the drive-in movies. “One, two, three, wide awake!” She slowly opened her eyes, which were dewy and relaxed. She wiggled her body around a bit as if waking it up. There was something about how she moved her hips. She looked looser. I was lying beside her, so I rolled her toward me, looked in those dreamy eyes, and began kissing her. She was different. Way different. She was tonguing my mouth, pressing her lips against mine with an eagerness I’d never experienced with her. She pressed her chest

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against me, and breathed heavily, panting, never coming up for air. I was in heaven. Getting into my role as a teenager, I reached back and undid her bra. We were steaming up the car windows as I slipped my hand under her bra, and felt her nipples, which were stiffer than I ever remembered. She moaned and arched her back, as if it were the first time those tender treasures had ever been squeezed by a boy’s hand. After about twenty minutes of the hottest make-out session I’d had in decades, I decided to see if the other part of the hypnosis script would work. “And sleep!,” I commanded, snapping my fingers. She fell back on the pillow, dead weight, deep in a hypnotic trance once more. In literally five seconds she’d gone from a steaming hot back seat teen vixen to fast asleep. As I crawled into the driver’s seat and headed out onto the highway I realized I had arrived at one of those places in your life where you knew the future would be much different than the past. Could this stuff really work? I adjusted the rear view mirror to look at my girlfriend. She seemed to be fast asleep. It was eighty miles until the next rest stop, which gave me plenty of time to think about the next scenario I wanted to play out. This time, after parking and getting in the back seat, I told her she was an older woman, seducing me, a high school football player. When I said the magic words, “One, two, three, wide awake!,” she became that woman. She was sultry and experienced as she unzipped my jeans and took me in her mouth, telling me to relax and enjoy myself. “And Sleep!”….And so it went; each rest stop brought a new fantasy to life. When I finally brought her out of the trance she was happy and refreshed. She remembered almost everything. She said she knew what she was doing the whole time, but the hypnosex had freed her to behave as I commanded without questioning. She had loved it. It was the coolest sexual discovery I’d ever made.

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Group Project

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couldn’t wait to tell my Wednesday night men’s group about my discovery, and how they could have a hypnosex experience with their wives and girlfriends. As I told my story there were a lot of laughs and dropped jaws. But when it came time to learn how they could enjoy the same experience, no one was interested. One guy said, “That’s cool, but I’m more a meat and potatoes kind of guy. The most far out we get is doing it doggie style.” I couldn’t believe it. I’d found buried sexual treasure and was willing to share the booty, but nobody wanted it.

Too Much Of A Good Thing

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hat wasn’t the last time I told men friends about the wonderful sex that was right around the corner, waiting for them, if they took the time to help their women enjoy pleasure. Not just with hypnosex, but by learning how to craft bedroom experiences allowing their lovers to feel sexual excitement and love flow like rushing rivers through their bodies and hearts. Over the past three years I’ve been researching energetic sexuality, a new kind of sex, where energy is cultivated and directed, so lovers experience states of mind and body usually reserved for those taking illegal drugs. With this sex, women routinely have orgasm after orgasm. They’re often able to generate orgasms within themselves, just by breathing in a certain way. During love play they get completely lost in deep valleys and tall peaks of pleasure and ecstasy. Sometimes they feel connected to their partner and everything else, as if they were one with them. They report their hearts “flying open,” their orgasms, “shaking me to the core,” their love for their partners “unbounded”.

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And many men have a problem with that. Why? For the answer, let’s ask another question: As a man, what does it mean to have a woman in your life that can experience ultimate pleasure? It can feel like she doesn’t need you. I remember the first time I had an “Oh, damn, maybe she doesn’t even need me for sex” moment. My girlfriend and I were in bed, and we’d been making love. She wanted to make love again, but I was in that awkward phase for a man called the “refractory period.” Now if you’re twenty years old you may not even know what I’m talking about, but it refers to that time after ejaculation when it takes awhile for a man to get another erection, sometimes more than awhile. So, my girlfriend asked me if I would “massage her vagina”. I’ll tell you the truth, I’d touched women’s vaginas before during foreplay, of course, and I really loved exciting them using my fingers, but I never thought of it as massaging (which, it turns out, it wasn’t). For me, using my fingers “down there” usually focused on stimulating the clitoris. When I put my fingers in the vagina I would use a thrusting, in and out motion that was like the movement of my penis during intercourse. But that’s not at all what my girlfriend had in mind. It only took her about five minutes to show me exactly how she wanted me to stroke her clitoris while I massaged the inside of her vagina. Once I had the technique down and was doing it, wow, did she start to have fun! Within minutes she was having a great orgasm, and she had four or five more orgasms, each getting bigger than the last, by the time we finished a half hour later. Great, right? But the first time I massaged her vagina and she experienced all these deep, powerful orgasms, I was more than a little deflated. I felt like I was sitting on the sidelines, so to speak, while she was lying there, totally relaxed and enjoying herself. I thought, shouldn’t my penis be giving her all that pleasure?

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I almost felt used. So after the massage was over I was in this sad mood, and she asked what was wrong, and I told her, “Well, that seemed like it was a lot of fun for you, but I felt left out.” Then something happened that blew me away. She looked at me like she was really concerned, and then this big smile came over her face. She said, “Come here!” and pulled me down on the bed. She instantly became steaming hot, hotter than I’d ever felt her, and it wasn’t long before that refractory period disappeared and we had this amazing sex. She was more open, more juicy, more passionate than she’d ever been before. More passionate than any woman I’d ever been with, where she was totally open and giving. So eager to please me and enjoy herself in the process. The massage opened her up, and now she was giving all the passion and love flowing through her body and heart right back to me.

Technical Issues

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f you’re like I was, you’ve trained yourself to make sex into a kind of athletic performance centered around your penis. Do a good job, hopefully better than the next guy. If you perform well—if you push all the right buttons for your lover and she has orgasms and breaks a sweat, the sex is good. But if she doesn’t it means you failed. That’s a fearful way to make love. There is nothing wrong with great sexual technique. You should develop a mad set of skills. That’s what this book is about. But what if it wasn’t up to you to push the buttons? What if your lover was really good at letting herself feel and express pleasure, and didn’t need much help from you? What if instead of being in charge of turning on your partner, she turned herself on. Then, like the conductor

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of an orchestra, you guided and directed your lover’s sexual energy? That’s a less fearful, more artful way to make love. And that’s what this book is about, too. If you’re like many men, you’re drawn to women who can effortlessly enjoy pleasure. At the same time, you’re horrified women like this exist. On one hand you want a woman who enjoys the hell out of herself in bed. On the other you want a sweet angel who isn’t so carefree. Ironically, women deal with the same problem. On the one hand they want pleasure. On the other, if they ask for it or find out how to get it for themselves, they’re told they’re “bad girls”. They aren’t supposed to like sex that much. Men and women could both turn a new page and discover that when women are able to enjoy sex completely, it actually takes pressure off a man. It gives men a much better role in the bedroom: That of a director of pleasure, rather than someone solely responsible for it. Unfortunately, something else has happened. Instead of women seeking the kind of pleasure that would truly satisfy them, they’ve begun looking at sex as a performance, too. They want orgasms, lots of them. But they don’t try to go deeper, into the kind of ecstatic pleasure that would really satisfy them. Just having a lot of sex doesn’t make for a great sex life.

FEAR FACTOR

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en fear women who can completely enjoy pleasure because women like that are free. It’s a fear men should overcome. Today men are facing a whole lot of women, across all generations, that think they deserve to feel all the pleasure they can handle. We’re at the cutting edge of

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evolution. Embrace it, because it’s time women were allowed to fully experience all the pleasure that’s possible. At first it may feel like your lover doesn’t need you. But she does. Sometimes desperately. When she can feel so much, she wants to feel it when you are there. More than that, she wants to flow the love she feels into you. It’s one of her deepest longings. Most men aren’t developed enough to accompany such women. But if you decide to give your woman all the pleasure she can handle, she probably will worship you. You’ll be one of a handful of men on the planet who could do this for her. Yes, she can hop into bed with anyone who is well groomed and has fresh breath, and enjoy the hell out of herself, just like you. But unlike you, she has a heart that longs to be filled with overflowing love, by a man who knows her inside and out. She may not even know this about herself, because she’s been told that having orgasms is enough. But once you take her to the deep depths of pleasure, where she was made to go, she will use that energy to lift you to heights that you couldn’t reach by yourself.

Fantastic Voyage

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ou’re in a unique position. You’re reading this book of simple teachings, that if practiced for six months, will put you in a select group of men capable of giving their women all the pleasure they can handle. In contrast, some of your friends are getting sexual satisfaction through pornography. Not necessarily a bad thing. But just the act of watching pornography makes them more feminine, because when they watch porno they’re activating the right side of their brains, which is the more feminine side, having to do with,

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among other functions, fantasy and imagination. Instead, try fantasizing about this: Imagine touching the inside of your lover’s vagina with such sensitivity that you can feel where it’s storing tension. Feel yourself dissolving these kinks with your fingertips, so your lover’s love tunnel grows juicier and juicer. See her rolling from one orgasm to the next as she wreathes on the bed beneath your touch, lost in the vastness of her open heart. You may feel uncomfortable with this sort of fantasy. Men’s hearts tend to be armored against such intimacy. But you know the orgasms of your favorite porn actress are as fake as the special effects in your favorite action movie. You could go around protecting yourself, holding back, trying to keep your lover from making you uncomfortable with her moans and shrieks of ecstasy. Or you can join the new sexual revolution. You have an opportunity to become the Knight in shining armor your lover dreamed about as a little girl. Your Princess awaits. She’s been locked in a tower of half-hearted sex her whole life. You can free her with a kiss and a touch.

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Excerpt from Dr. Leonard’s upcoming book...

“ENERGY SEXUALITY” A Nuts and Bolts Guide to Awesome, Ecstatic Sex From the Chapter... “Inviting Your Woman Onto Your Spiritual Path” Like It? Go to “www.energysexuality.com“ to help contribute ideas to this essential guide for getting the best sex of your life.

Sunday morning

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ou wake up and your woman is in your arms, snuggled against your chest. Years ago you never could sleep with a woman like this. You’d sleep on “your” side of the bed. But you always wanted to be able to fall asleep in a woman’s arms and wake up like this. So over a year ago you committed yourself to mastering this skill. It took self-hypnosis, affirmations, visualization work and putting little post-it notes on your bathroom mirror that said, “I am falling asleep in my lover’s arms tonight!,” but you finally, on many nights and especially after sex, are able to drift off to sleep entangled in the swirling mass of energy that is your woman, and wake up this way. Today you lye still, having decided to tap into your woman’s energy, as if taking a sip from a fountain on a hot day. To benefit from her radiance as she lays sleeping quietly. So you close your eyes again and begin to breathe in rhythm with your woman. As she breathes in, so do you; as she breathes out you match her exhalation. Soon you can feel your belly meeting hers on the in-breath, and feel the little collapse of her chest on yours on the out-breath. Such a peaceful way to wake up on a Sunday morning.

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After a few minutes you’re feeling transparent, like the skin covering your chest is thinning, and you’re becoming closer and closer to your woman’s lungs and heart. Now you imagine that right underneath her skin, beneath your breastbone, there’s a golden-white pulsating light glowing from her heart. It streams out of her heart, filling yours, and once filling yours keeps overflowing into the rest of your body, so that within a few minutes every cell in you is filled with your woman’s radiance. You fall back asleep. When you awake a short time later your woman is still lying nestled against you. You smell her. You let her scents soak into your nostrils, appreciating their earthiness. You take in a hint of perspiration odor under her arms, smell sweat on her chest, taking these into your system as if drinking a good glass of beer. Slowly, deliberately, you disentangle yourself, and as you do she sleepily opens her eyes. You lean over and whisper in her ear, “Welcome to this beautiful day together, my love. Namaste.” The word Namaste is often spoken by yoga teachers at the end of class while holding their hands in prayer position at the level of their hearts. It’s an Indian word meaning, “The light in me recognizes the light in you.” One of the most spiritual greetings one can bestow on another, it cuts to the heart of spiritual relationship. I see you. Not my ego sees your ego. My spirit sees yours. The way you say this one word to your lover each day, solemnly, often bringing your hands to prayer position over your heart and bowing as you say it, has become a sacred ritual for you. One recognizing that your ego might get in the way of relating to your woman’s spirit many times today, but in the brief moment you say this to her you are recognizing that your woman isn’t just flesh and blood, but also light and love. Spirit and soul. Deep beyond comprehension. You acknowledge once more the part of her that is at one with the subtle level of things. She’s drowsy, sleepy, adorable. You hike yourself on an elbow and push her onto her belly. She acquiesces in a lazy way and then, being the little tramp that she is, www.energysexuality.com

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wiggles her naked behind under the sheets. That’s all you need. Time for a Sunday meet-up of spirituality and sexuality. You submerge yourself under the sheets, having morphed into a sex shark prowling deep waters for his next meal. You work yourself between her legs, and then move your legs and feet under the sheets so they can hang off the mattress in the cool morning air. You begin your stealthy swim into her nether regions. Just minutes before your heart was being filled to overflowing with the radiance of your lover’s essential womanhood. Now you’re beating a path to the womanhood nestled between her soft thighs. The juxtaposition of these two experiences isn’t lost on you. The conscious approximation of spirit and flesh worship is one way you’ve chosen to bring your woman onto your spiritual path. It’s one thing to meditate by yourself in the woods or in your living room. It’s another to blur the lines between sacred and profane so that this world of the senses is enlivened by the world of unseen energy and spirit. You start by licking inside her knees while massaging the backs of her thighs, gently, slowly, deliberately running your hands from her knees up to her behind and back down again. And then you inch yourself up a bit more, licking her inner thighs. The first smell of morning womanhood hits your nostrils. Under the covers it’s warm and getting warmer fast. Your hot breath and her hot thighs are steaming things up, and as the scent of her womanly love juice fills the space between her thighs it’s trapped there. It’s denser than usual. You pull yourself up again, and now your nose is an inch away from the opening of her Sunday-go-to-worship-temple. What is the difference between this experience and a sweat lodge, where men heat themselves to the point of hallucinating while beating drums? Ceremonies. Rituals. Intension. The radiance you felt filling your heart minutes ago is still there, lighting up every cell of your body. You feel her spirit, and it connects you to something bigger than yourself. Something bigger than your small self. This Sunday vision quest

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your on, taking place between your woman’s legs, is no less a spiritual journey than heartfelt prayer. You’re smelling the thickness of sweat and her love juice and an erection takes shape between your legs. A relentless force of nature now, you press your body up again, your nose entering her velvety slickness. As you nuzzle into it, you spread her thighs a bit more. You hear muffled moans of pleasure from somewhere in the fresh air above you. It’s hot, and hard to breathe, and when you do its carbon dioxide and woman juice. You work your nose into her dripping holy hole as far as it will fit, the bridge of your nose being stopped only by the bottom of her love ravine, your lips a quarter of an inch away from her clitoris. You bring your attention to your third eye. You imagine it opening wide, opening into your woman’s bottom, opening through her and through the walls of your bedroom and down the street. And you feel it going wide, way wide out to the sides for miles, and way in back of you, too, shooting out for miles. Her vagina is a portal into the vastness of it all. Gripping her rear end and pressing it down into the mattress, you let her know she’s not going anywhere. Like you were savoring icing on a piece of cake, your tongue makes a pass over her clitoris. Going hard and heavy this morning would be too jarring. She’s still dreamy, and probably drifting off under your tender mercies to a place you could never imagine. So you take your time, measuring the force of each flick of your tongue over her love button, all the while the smells intensifying and the heat increasing. All the while your wide-open consciousness is penetrating her bottom up into her heart, joining her spirit on the bed and beyond. After a few minutes you settle into a rhythm of stroking her with your nose as your tongue laps her like a dog licking into a bowl of water on a hot day. Your hands have gripped the tops of her hips for leverage, and now you’re pulling her whole pelvis onto your face as you root into her, relentless, drunk on her smell, oxygen deprived. www.energysexuality.com

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She orgasms, thank goodness. No time for aftermath/afterglow. You need air. You pull yourself up from under the sheets onto her back. Your rodshaft is between her legs, knocking on her sex door. With no effort your erection slides in, its head a plow digging into the early morning fields. Your weight is on her. She’s pinned to the mattress by your mass and your implement. There’s a lot going on. You feel the hotness of your sexual energy in your erection. It wants to soak your woman’s fertile love field with morning jism. If you aren’t careful you’ll lose control. You take a moment to collect your senses. Taking three deep breaths, you imagine the energy down there moving up your spine to your third eye, where it shoots up into the wide open sky. You connect to the sky. There is no longer a wall of bone and skin on your forehead. There’s a portal there, and through it your energy streams up. At the same time the wide open, beautiful blue sky streams into you. With each exhalation you bring more energy up from your penis by squeezing your PC muscles. The woman beneath you has become a vehicle for pleasure and spiritual progress. Opened up and connected to sky while rooted in her loveliness, you decide to plough deeper. You spread your toes and slide the webs formed between your big toes and their neighboring digits down her calves, over her Achilles tendons. When your feet reach the backs of her ankles you spread your legs, dragging hers wider on the sheets. You rear your pelvis back, cocking it, and then whip it forward, your plunger going deep, hard, spreading her wet flesh before it, a hot knife through Crisco. “Oh, God,” she moans. So connected to her. So connected to the all of it. There’s a bow of energy streaming from your erection to your third eye. You can feel it bending as you plunge in and out. You’re withdrawing slowly, cocking your pelvis, and then thrusting hard. An observer might think you’re trying to...

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Bonus II / The Ninja Lover’s Training Manual BONUS II!

Excerpt from Dr. Leonard’s Book,

“THE NINJA LOVER’S TRAINING MANUAL” Like It? Go to “www.energysexuality.com“ for more information on this essential guide for getting the best sex of your life.

A Ninja Lover’s Training Story

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ou used to make love in a logical order. You realize now it’s because that’s how you were trained to do just about everything in your life. As a boy growing up, you were taught to be competitive, goal-oriented and to think about things rather than feel them. So when it came to making love you thought about it a lot. If you knew a lovemaking session was on the horizon (let’s be honest, anytime you thought you had a chance at getting laid) you thought about how you would start out kissing your partner, how her breasts would feel and look and how you would fondle them and suck them. How her www.energysexuality.com

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vagina would feel. How her mouth would feel on your mouth. And on your penis. And as you thought, you planned your moves, perhaps not consciously, because often when you thought about sex it was a hazy dream, but going in you had a plan, and it usually resulted in lovemaking that, with variations, went something like this: First came foreplay. Kissing. Stroking her skin. The delicious moment when you unhooked her bra. The other delicious moment when you slipped your hand between her soft belly skin and her panties, your fingertips finding the moist, silk-soft pink folds between her inner thighs. Oftentimes you started out kissing her lips, then her neck. When she was breathing heavy and you both started to feel that “urge to merge,” when your bodies started helping your minds direct what was coming, you fondled her breasts, then took her nipples in your mouth and sucked at them. Now came her vagina. Being a guy that knew his way around it, you took your time in approaching this soft tenderbox. You took the time to stroke her inner thighs, letting her heat up. She played her part, too. She might fondle your hard penis. Or mouth it. All the time you kept getting more and more excited. All the while a part of you was planning your next move, calculating how to get her to come. And always the sex pressure kept building down below, the brain in your balls, fueled by tens of thousands of years of DNA replication, wanting to take over. When you used your fingers on her velvet box you did it in a way that seemed to work before. You had moves, and they turned up her love burner. When you used your fingers to penetrate her, it was often to finger fuck her: in and out, slowly, then rapidly. When you touched her clitoris, you started slowly, too, then picked up the pace. It made her juicy. Made her hot. And when she was hot enough, you often positioned your head between her thighs and tasted her. You had moves for that, too. You licked and sucked until she came, and you were

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Bonus II / The Ninja Lover’s Training Manual relieved. She’d had an orgasm. You’d done a good job. Foreplay was over. Time to get down to business. You had been ready to enter her from the first kiss, but you were eager now. You crawled up onto her chest, your erection riding up between all that softness, your penis a guided missile targeted at heaven. You’d thought about how you were going to mount her, and you were still thinking about it. There was so much going on: your penis was trying to highjack your mind, you were trying to shape the moments so they looked like your plan. She was so sexy. All that nakedness and wetness and magnetism right there beneath you. As you entered her it was glorious. Really. That velvety feel, the slickness. The heat. You were on her chest, kissing her lips, your thighs pressing against hers, spreading them. You started slow, enjoying her little gasps of pleasure as your penis slid up into her, only stopping when your pubic bones met. You continued like that, slowly, but gradually your thrusts picked up speed. Soon you were moving in and out fast. Your skin slapped at hers. She’d make sounds with every thrust in and out. You hoped she was close. Her moans were spurs in your side as you galloped ahead, faster, harder. You would feel a rumbling down deep in your balls. It built quickly, soon joined by spasms that made your ass clench. Awesome spasms as the spurting started. Release. After, you lay panting in each other’s arms. It was good. The sweat let you know. You didn’t think for awhile, just drifted, until the world came back in to have its way with you. That was sex before Ninja training. Sex is different now: You started looking into sexual energy because you wanted to be a better lover. Sex was good, but you’d been at it for awhile and you felt like it wasn’t getting much better. You’d read about and try a new sex position, and it was worthwhile, but your experience of sex wasn’t going any deeper. www.energysexuality.com

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Sex seemed to be getting more encapsulated as time went on. When you first got with your lover the sex had fueled other parts of your relationship. The sex made food taste better. It made rides to the grocery store better. Now it seemed to be more like a movie or a yoga class, with a start and end. The quickies in the morning that used to make your whole day better now only made the morning commute better. Even when you got the chance to make love for hours, the longer times were just extended replays of the shorter times. It was still foreplay, intercourse, orgasms and rest. You started your new way by learning about breathing. Interestingly, you didn’t have to think about breathing at all. It just happened for you. But you could control your breathing as well. It was the only process in your body like that: automatic, until you took control of it with your mind. This unique aspect of breathing was the reason masters in any physical activity worked on breath. It was especially important during sex. For thousands of years sexual masters used breathing to increase sexual energy in their bodies. You learned the three part breath, where you first breathed all the way down into your abdomen, and then as you continued to breathe you filled and expanded your chest, and then as you breathed more you filled the top of your lungs, under your collar bones. It was somewhat amazing, because the lungs take up a small space in the middle of your chest, but by focusing your attention in your lower abdomen the breath seemed to flow way down there, far afield from the lungs themselves. Masters had a phrase for this phenomenon: “Energy flows where attention goes.” So you started practicing breathing. In line at the grocery store. Waiting at a red light. Walking from your car into work. You found when you breathed deep for only a few minutes it both energized and calmed you. The next step in your practice was mediation . You sat alone, in a comfortable chair, and just watched your breath going in and out of your body. You didn’t try to breathe any deeper or shallower, you just watched. The breath would come through

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Bonus II / The Ninja Lover’s Training Manual your nose, down into your lungs and there would be a pause, and then it would flow out of your lungs and through your nose again, and there would be another pause. You would sit and watch, and within seconds thoughts would come into your head. Thoughts about your hair, about your lover. About work and lunch and the weather. The thoughts would come, and your mind would latch onto them, and you would start to use your mind to think about them. And then you’d think that you weren’t supposed to be doing that. You were supposed to be sitting watching your breath, so you’d go back to that until the next thought came along and caught your mind. You meditated for five minutes a day for the first week, ten the second, fifteen the third and on the fourth week settled into meditating for twenty minutes each day. Twenty was what was recommended, so that became your routine. You started sleeping better, and your worry thoughts didn’t seem so worrisome. It was a small difference, but life’s edginess was softening. You started making time to meditate for two minutes here and there, during your lunch hours, or late at night, before bed, sometimes going outside and sitting quietly for five minutes, just to feel that sense of calmness, which was growing in your life. You’d read about the importance of the pubococcgeal muscles, at the floor of your pelvis, for controlling your ejaculations. You wanted more control in bed. Ever since first starting sex your ejaculations often surprised you. You’d be making hot love and all of a sudden you were on the edge of a cliff, and one more thrust pushed you off and then you fell into an uninvited squirt. It was more pleasurable when the freedom of release came after a long build up, when you steamrolled toward the end with everincreasing fervor, until the rumbling came, fireworks at the end of an awesome sports event. You figured if you could experience more orgasms like that you and your lover would enjoy sex more. So you started to clench your muscles “down there,” stopping your urine stream, whenever you went to the bathroom. You’d clench seven times every time you urinated, www.energysexuality.com

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even if you’d run out of urine. You liked controlling your urine. And it was amazing how quickly you felt the muscles down there become stronger. Within a month you were shooting your urine out with much greater force. You were experiencing your body responding to your mind’s direction; your attention was focused on your pelvic floor, so your energy was flowing there.You were gaining control of your thoughts through mediation, and gaining control of the way your body released fluid from your penis. And it was starting to reshape the way you moved through the world. Your first attempts at using your newfound pubococcgeal strength to control your ejaculations failed. By the time you’d realized you needed to do something to stop yourself from coming, the sex energy was so hot you could have tied your penis with barbed wire and it still would have shot like a wild cannon. On the positive side, your ejaculations were more pleasurable. Stronger pc muscles made for stronger orgasms. Then you’d read that most successful people woke up early. They used the morning hours to craft their reality, using their imaginations to vividly see what they wanted to happen in their lives. They knew that thoughts were things. They had energy. Using thoughts, they harnessed the unseen forces underlying all of existence to shape existence. And then they would go out into the world and make it happen. Most people had a casual relationship with the unseen forces underlying existence, the “field of potentiality” from whence the material world manifested. You’d been that way, too. But the meditation had deepened your awareness of the two worlds, the one you could feel, hear, touch, taste and smell, and the one where everything in that world came from. So you started to visualize what you wanted to happen: a new car, a promotion at work, checks in the mail, and a more beautiful relationship with your lover. The results weren’t immediate, but you were into energy work now. You’d seen it working in your sex life, and you had faith it would work to bring you what you wanted in other areas, too. You liked what the pc workouts were doing for you, so you decided to try some

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Bonus II / The Ninja Lover’s Training Manual other energy exercises. To make time you got up a half hour earlier, before meditating. You chose energy cultivation exercises created thousands of years ago in China. Before, at the gym, you strained and sweated against weights and your body got bigger and harder. Now you were bringing energy into yourself using breath and movement. It was an internal experience. Your body felt more spacious. You felt lighter and looser. And you were aware of the amount of tension you carried in your penis, your pelvic floor, your abdomen. The spaciousness allowed you to feel the energy in your body. When you breathed energy into your belly, for example, your belly felt warmer. Your body had become a river of energy where your mind directed the ebbing and flowing, the rushing of rapids and the pooling behind dams. Now when you made love the pc squeezes had an impact. If you stopped stroking and pressed your pubic bone into your lover’s clitoris, rotating your pelvis, grinding yourself against her, while at the same time squeezing and releasing your pc muscles, your erection softened a bit. Some of the energy left it, interrupting the inevitable rush toward spurting. At first this only prolonged your intercourse for a minute or two, but this was exciting, representing a twenty percent increase in how long you lasted. Your lover was pleased. You took a shower every day before work. Spurred on by your successes (not only were you lasting longer in bed, but that promotion had come through, just like you had imagined), you decided to spend an extra ten minutes in the shower exercising your penis. You’d worked on your biceps, triceps, delts, quads and pecs in the past, and now you were wondering why you’d never exercised your mansword. The first time you lathered your neither regions, massaged your testicles, and pulled on your shaft while sticking out your tongue, you didn’t notice much difference. But like other forms of energy work, you trusted the results would come. After all, you were putting a lot of attention on your privates three times a week. The energy had to flow there. The results came surprisingly fast. Within a month you noticed that when you www.energysexuality.com

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walked you could feel your penis slapping against your inner thigh for the first time in your life. When you checked in the mirror you hung lower. You looked thicker. And you could feel a tingling in your balls when you toweled off after a shower. Two months into your cock exercises you were making love when your lover moaned, “God, you’re so big…” The next morning you pulled harder. Three months into your shaft tugging your lover was performing fellatio on you. You looked down, and like a proud father saw a penis that was longer, thicker and harder than you’d ever remembered. Your lover said she sensed a new calmness and sense of purpose in you. She said she felt like you were more focused on what you wanted out of life, and that turned her on. And she said you weren’t so automatic in bed. She loved your new move where you pressed yourself against her clitoris and swirled your penis in her instead of thrusting from start to finish. You decided to add massage to your foreplay repertoire. When you surprised your lover with a gift-wrapped bottle of massage oil on a dinner date her eyes sparkled. “You mean you’re going to massage me?” she asked in disbelief. You knew you were on the right track. Your first half hour massage was far from professional, but she loved it. She loved that you would do that for her. When you made love afterwards she had a orgasm within three minutes of you entering her. You were both surprised. You got better at massaging her, and she started to massage you, too. This completely changed foreplay. Instead of a predictable trajectory, the time before intercourse became a relaxed, creative enjoyment of each other’s bodies. There was time for conversation and laughter, so that by the time intercourse came you were much more relaxed, even with your harder, longer penis. And this let you use your pc squeezes and pelvic grinding moves to prolong how long you could be in her sweet wetness before you came. Sex got better and better. Every once in a while you massaged her feet, and didn’t expect sex in return. This was big. Your lover became sweeter and noticeably easier to get along with.

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Bonus II / The Ninja Lover’s Training Manual You read a book on how to massage your lover’s vagina. Your foreplay massages went from playing with a small box of Crayons to painting lush canvases with a 36-color oil paint set. Foreplay became a time when your lover could slip into states of pleasure and bliss she’d never experienced before. She would come and come and come again, sometimes for more than an hour. By the time you penetrated her with your flesh cannon she came for you as easily as letting go of a deep breath. You weren’t concerned about if she was getting enough pleasure. She was getting pleasure she never knew existed. You started visualizing circulating energy in your body and your lover’s body. After your morning exercises you added this visualization to the visions of what you wanted to bring from the world of unseen energy to the world of the senses: Your lover was beneath you. Your body pressed hers into the bed. You had spread her arms to the side, so that the palms of your hands pinned hers against the bed. Your thighs were deep within her spread legs, your pelvis pressing hers inches into the mattress below. You could tell she could feel your mass pressing against her as you pinned her, forcing her to feel every inch of your implement penetrate her to your short hairs. She was coming, but instead of her rapture spurring you to an ejaculation, you were concentrated on breathing energy from above your head, down the front of your body, to the penis buried in the love glove underneath you. As you exhaled you brought the energy up the back of your body to the top of your head, then again back down. As you meditated, visualizing the scene, you practiced the breath: down the front, up the back. After your ninth breath you’d breathe the energy down the front of you, but this time as you breathed out you clenched your pc muscles and imagined shooting the energy up your lover’s spine. In your mind she responded by crying out as the energy exploded in her brain, sending her off, out of her body. When you breathed in again you imagined sucking the energy down the front of her, into her wet sweetness, and this time she groaned in deep pleasure. You meditated/visualized like this for five minutes, imagining she was pinned beneath you, exploded in ecstasy, as you circulated www.energysexuality.com

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energy through her. It took some time, but now when you made love it was an energetic event. You often started by kissing her lips, but from then on anything might happen. She was so open for you, so relaxed under your hands and mouth. She orgasmed so easily, let the pleasure she was feeling come out of her in moans and whimpers and screams. There wasn’t any hurry. She told you she never felt so safe with anyone. She was telling you how great you were, showing you appreciation in ways she never had before. She complained a lot less; the attempts to change you nearly evaporated. Your life had become easier. Your old sexual patterns faded away. Now when you were close to coming you slowed your stroke, or clenched your pc muscles, or rotated your hips instead of thrusting, or pulled out and used your fingers or your mouth for awhile. If you did get pushed off the cliff into an ejaculation you would pull out, and squeeze mightly, bringing the energy up your spine, and instead of spurting a handful of jism on the sheets, only a bit would dribble out the end of your penis. Even when this happened your refractory period, that time when you couldn’t get an erection even though you were turned on, shortened dramatically. Soon you were back in the saddle. It had taken time, like any skill, to come to this point. You were far from a master. But your sexual skills were far beyond any of your buddies. And every once in awhile, because you were open to it all, you’d kiss her lips, then her neck, and then your hands and mouth would find her breasts, and then her vagina, until she was hot and wet and panting…and then you’d enter her, thrusting slowly at first, but building to a hard and fast banging of her love drum, until you felt the rumble and the release, and then the quiet. Until the world came back in and you had your way with it. Blessings On Your Journey

Dr. Leonard

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