Nlp Anchors Basics

Build Emotional Stability with Anchors SAEED MUKHTAR AHMAD

CREATIVE MIND APPROACH | Anchors

EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT THROUGH ANCHORING | Build Emotional Stability with Anchors

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Introduction How do you relate to others? How do you relate to yourself? If you met yourself at a party, would you want to have a conversation?

We create our reality by how we think, and what we do. Every moment we are in a state. A state is our way of being in any moment. It comes from our physiology, thinking and emotions, and is greater than sum of its parts. We experience states from the inside, but these states have external markers that can be seen, feel, and understand from the outside, like a particular frequency of brainwave, pulse rate, etc. But it’s hard to tell from outside, what it is like to feel anger, or to be in love. States are most immediate part of our experience. They vary in intensity, length, and familiarity.

The calmer the mind state, the easier it is to think rationally. The more violent or intense the state, the more thinking is disrupted and the more emotional energy you spend. States always have an emotional component; we naturally describe them in feelings. Although we often believe that states are caused by events outside our control, but we create them ourselves. One of the greatest benefits that Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) has to offer is the ability to choose your mind state, and to influence the mind state of others in a positive way towards greater health and happiness. One powerful way in NLP to influence our and other’s mind state is Anchoring.

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Understanding Mind States Anchors are simply a connection between a stimulus and a certain emotional response or state. Before even start to dig in to Anchors, we have to understand how our minds really work. First, we will discuss States of our mind, then we will discuss what is association and disassociation with our mental states.

State of our Mind: Our mind states are our way of being and come from our psychology, thinking and emotions. We naturally describe them with feelings, like anger, happiness, regret, sadness, excitement, etc. Although we often believe that our mind states created by the effect of our outside events, but it’s a fact that we create them ourselves. The good news is that our state changes throughout the day, so its impossible to stay in any stuck state for very long. They will pass. And the bad news is that our states changes throughout the day, so we cannot hangout on to those good states indefinitely. They too will pass, as change is the spice of life. States and Capabilities: Our mind states do affect our capabilities. For example, an athlete may have practices a performance many times and be able to do it perfectly, when no one is watching. But in front of audience and judges, they may not perform well. That’s what is called “Performance Anxiety”, that can diminish any performance up to 30%. Some people so paralyzed with fear that they cannot perform at all. We must remember NLP presupposition,

There are no un-resourceful people, only un-resourceful mind states. Good mind states of learning are curiosity, fascination, interest, and excitement. Whereas, boredom, listless, anxious, and hostile are bad mind states for learning, nothing can be learned in these mind states. A good teacher is able to change the mind state of their learner into good learning state, by being in a good state themselves. This is the secret ingredient of changing mind state of others, as states are contagious. People are attracted to those who make them feel good. Physiology and internal state are powerfully linked together. We feel happy inside, so we smile. This is the form where internal mind state affect on our outer physiology. However, there is good research that shows that emotions go outside in too. When I smile, and you smile in return, that mean my smile passes on happiness to you. If I can make you smile, I can make you

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happy too. Therefore, if you choose to be in a positive state around people, then you must have lots of friends, who want to be with you. How well you learn, or perform always depends on your current mind state. Usually, whenever we learn a new mind technique we often run to apply it on others. This is not a recommended behavior at all. It is always best to apply it on yourself first. Remember, we discussed that mind states are contagious, so if you are not in the mind state you want from other as an output or result, most appropriately you will not get the required result, and your time and energy will be wasted, and you may think that there is some fault in technique, but technique is not. So, it’s always a good idea to know your Baseline State. Your baseline mind state is where you feel more comfortable, and ease. It is not necessarily the most resourceful mind state, but is most familiar, as most of your baseline mins states created in your childhood, and practices up till now, so it is being the way you are now. Which means that your baseline mind state consists of your habits, thoughts, and feelings, internally and externally.

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Know your Baseline Mind State first Answer these simple yet effective questions, so that you come to aware of your baseline mind states: 1. How healthy are you? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2. How comfortable do you feel in your body? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 3. How high usually your energy levels? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 4. What is your usual level of attention, awareness, and mental energy? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 5. What is your predominant emotion? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 6. What part of your environment support or limit you? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 7. What skills do you have in that state? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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8. What beliefs and values do you hold? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 9. How do you present yourself in different situation, that make your identity? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 10. Do you model your identity by yourself, or from another? (From Parents, Teachers, or anybody you really like) ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

You are aware of your baseline mind state, after completing this exercise. Now you can start to think about it more critically. 

Are you satisfied with your baseline mind state? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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What might you do to make it healthier, more balanced, and resourceful mind state? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

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Associations and Disassociations Associate state as the word describe, are the memories of an event and mind states that make us feel that we are within the event, as if that past event occurring now. Whereas, disassociate state are the memories of an event or mind states with no feelings attached to us, and we remember them as something other than our interest happens in front of us, in some past time. This is a critical distinction for all mind states. We either associate to a feeling, memory, or mind state, or disassociate. Therefore, both states are not only different states to feel or seeing a mental picture, they are also the ways of experiencing the world. There are different ways to express these states: Associated In the experience All there With it Caught up In the flow of experience In touch with feelings

Disassociated Out of the experience Laid back Away from it Not at all there Not quite yourself Out of touch from feelings

During conversations, a person usually associated when his body leaning forward, and speaking in the sense that give a feeling of now and here. For example, “I can feel that moment now when we first shake hands”. OR “I can remember my class time vividly, when I was giving speech on that topic, the lights, the claps, and every detail I still can remember”. When a person disassociated, his body usually leaning backwards, and talking like something else was happens in front of him, like he is watching an uninteresting movie in his head. For example, “That was too happen, when I was with him, nothing special though”. Remember, Association is good for Enjoying pleasant moment, or memories, Practicing a skill, and paying attention to learn. Whereas, Disassociation is good for Want to create distance from a bad moment, or memory, Just to time pass in regular life, or reviewing experience, Want to create a distance from your bodily sensations, Learning from past and taking a step back from unpleasant situation.

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Anchors We all experiencing and absorbing the world around us by our representational system or so called five senses, Seeing (Visual (V) ), Listening (Auditory (A) ), Feel/Touch (Kinesthetic (K) ), Smell (Olfactory (O) ), and Taste (Gustatory (G) ). We “re-present” what we experience on the outside on our internal mental screen. Our external senses (our seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and tasting) match our internal senses. For example: Have you ever noticed some people see things the way you do? Have you ever not been “on the same wavelength” as someone? Have you ever felt someone just didn’t connect with you? In NLP, "anchoring" refers to the process of associating an internal response with some external or internal trigger so that the response may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, reaccessed. Anchors are visual, auditory, and kinesthetic triggers that associated to a particular response or particular state. Anchors are all around us – whatever we respond without giving it a second thought, we are under the influence of an Anchor. This could be happening randomly or deliberately in everyday life. Anchors are very important part of our life, it builds habits. It helps us learn to become unconsciously competent. As we always stop on red light when we approach a street traffic light, as red light is an anchor. Anchor may stimulate an action, as we stop on red light. It also may change our emotional state, as we feel happy when vacation is around. They may occur in any representational system.

Emotional freedom comes from being aware of the anchors you have and choosing to respond only to the ones you want.

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Examples of Anchors – Representational Systems: Almost everything around us could be an anchor. Anything that associate us (Good or Bad) with an event, feeling and a memory is our Anchor. Some examples are given below,

Visual Anchors: Pictures, and Moves, Clips. A smile, or a Laughter, Advertisements (in Newspapers, in Markets, Billboards, Mass and Social Media, Food, Fashion, Body Aligning, Electronic Products, home appliance, etc.), Whichever season we like, etc.

Auditory Anchors: Sound of your name, Music, Voice tones, Birdsongs (Nature), Sounds of Mobile, etc.

Kinesthetic Anchors: Comfortable furniture, Taking Shower, Gesture of Power, Touch of Love ones, Hot and Cold Objects, Soft and Hard objects, etc.

Olfactory and Gustatory Anchors: Smell of any chemical (Smell of Tar on a new road, or any medicine’s smell) Smell of hospitals and pharmacy shops, Smell of any cooked meal, Taste of a favorite meal, Taste of a medicine, Taste of Tea or Coffee etc.

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Setting Anchors Any intense mind state may setup an anchor, like one intense trauma can create a phobia, that can be setup a life time fear. If emotions are less intense then repetition of that emotion can setup an anchor. In our life most Anchors are setup by repetitions, as we move through the day responding people, events, sounds, objects, without thinking, which at the end create our anchors in different situations. Anchors are timeless, once setup, they may run all our life, until handled with care. Anchors may weaken our immune system and created with our bad eating habits, or translated from depression, loneliness, anxiety, and hostility. Some olfactory (taste) anchors may be translated into allergies. Not anchors create all allergies, but there is evidence that some allergies are learned immune system responses, so they can be un-learned.

Ability to change mind state: The ability to change any mind state and choose how you feel is one the skills for emotional freedom and a happy life. Emotional freedom does not mean never feel negative emotion, but it means to feel it and choose the appropriate action to take for your response. Our all states have a psychological side, and all states have biochemical effects on our body. Therefore, it is important to handle issues as professionals subscribed. It doesn’t mean that you are on the mercy of those mind states. When you find yourself in a resourceful mind state, first of all accept it as normal life. When you do that you already decrease its effects. But if you keep reminding that you shouldn’t feel like this, OR think something wrong with you, OR you are weak to feel like this, will always make your situation worse. There is a life rule, which states,

Whatever you focus on …. Expands in your mind. And there is a presupposition in NLP, which states as:

Our unconscious does not process negatives. So, after calming yourself down, realize that you always have choice. You can stay in this mind state, or you can change it. Do you want to change your state? There is a method called Break State, and pattern interrupt.

Break State is to move out of any state into a natural state, or calming state. Whereas, a pattern interrupt is to move someone from intense negative state to a natural state. And this a powerful and effective technique. How do you know if someone really in stuck mind state?

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    

They have a fixed physiology. They always sit or go to the same place in the room. They do not move very much. They repeat their saying or movements, like a crying child. They go round in circles in a discussion or arguments.

There are many ways to do break sate or pattern interrupt, as:  Tell a joke. Laughter is the best way to break a state.  Call a person’s name. Often mothers use it in a negative sense to calm down their children, they call the names of any personality from which the child is afraid of. Never do that. Call any name of the personality that child like to be with.  Ask them to move and walk, and change the position.  Distract them by using their Representational system: Visual: Show them something interesting that change their mind state. Auditory: Make some noise, or play music. Kinesthetic: Touch them or Hug them (If socially appropriate) When you use a break state you should be ready to lead the person to a better and resourceful state, otherwise they will go back to the resourceful state, and mostly if they go back, its harder to break their state again. So, use some resourceful anchoring.

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Resource Anchoring Resource Anchoring can be used to change a mind state, where no anchor set before to help you or another person into a more resourceful mind state. This anchoring mostly used in anxiety state, like, taking a test, giving a presentation or public speaking, having a difficult meeting, dealing with stressful situation, and making a difficult decision etc. The resource you anchor will depend on the situation you or another person have to deal with. To use the Resource anchoring, you need to: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Elicit a resource state, Calibrate the state, Anchor the state, Test the anchor, Future pace.

Eliciting a Resource State: Best States are Naturally occurring states. Next best are past memories, vivid, highly associated states. Least preferable are constructed states. You can elicit your own state yourself, however it is best if you find another person to trust with:

State Elicitation: Mental Model the state Normally it is very difficult to elicit a state into another person, unless you model it for them. Therefore, before you trying to change other person’s state, first step is to go into that state yourself. Remember mental states are contagious. Its is very important that you must not in a different state, otherwise you will be incongruent. For example, do not try to elicit a happy state with a gloomy sad voice and expressions. Bring back a Resourceful Memory Ask the person to think of a time when they were in the state (that you want them in now) to be in NOW. Ask them to bring back that experience NOW, so that they see now what they see then, hear the voices NOW that they heard then, and feel the feeling in them NOW that they feel then. Remember, it is very important that they must be associated to that memory, as disassociation will not bring back the state itself, it only bring back the feeling ABOUT that state.

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Tell a Story Tell them a story in such a way that they associate one of the character, and can feel the character’s emotions, as if that are their emotions.

State Elicitation: Physical There is a rule in psychology, which states as …

Physical and mental states follow each other. So, change in physiology will after all change the mental state. Ask them to getup and have a walk with you. Ask them to breath deeply for three to five times. Ask them to look up and smile. Richard Bandler, one of the father of NLP, often said in his training classes,

Fake it until you make it. So, you can ask them to act ‘as if’ they are in resourceful state already. As every state has their characteristics of breathing, facial expressions, and body posture. Even is a person doesn’t feel that resourceful state, initially, changing their physiology lead them in to that direction, as mind and body are one system.

Calibrating the Mind State: After eliciting a mind state, you need to check and recheck by calibrating that state in terms of sensory specifics. As earlier mentioned that every mind state has its characteristics in terms of breathing, facial expressions, and body postures. The terms like ‘Confused’, ‘Sad’, or ‘Happy’, are guesses, they may be accurate but what we need to know are specific sensory cues to recognize the mind state. A sensory specific description must consist of what you can see, hear and feel. So, pay attention to following:         

Voice tone, and Volume Posture Facial color Eye accessing cues Muscular tension on the face and forehead Angle of the head Balance and weight on the floor or chair Lower lip size (As the lower lip expand when blood rush to the face) Breathing patterns

As every person is somehow different in expressing a state, so calibration help you to recognize it again.

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Anchor the Resourceful State: You can Anchor a Resourceful Mind State Visually, Auditory, or Kinesthetically. For example:  Your hand gesture would be a Visual Anchor,  A word or a phrase in a certain tone of voice would be an Auditory Anchor,  A pleasant touch could be a Kinesthetic Anchor. When you apply an Anchor from any of the above type, pay attention to:  The intensity of the mind state. The stringer the state, the more effective the anchor.  The purity of the Mind State. Aim to get the state as pure as possible. Mix States may create confusions. Now it’s the time to set the Anchor:  

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The Anchor should be unique and repeatable. It should be distinguishable from everyday routine, and easy enough to repeat exactly. The Anchor should be well timed. It should be set just before the peak of the state. If you wait until the peak of the mind state, you may anchor a decline in the state.

An Anchor should be appropriate to the situation and context. As a punching fist could be appropriate for an athlete before entering to the court, but not appropriate to the situation where you want to calm someone down.

Test the Anchor: Always test that anchor you set, by asking the person how does they feel, and check the physiology and sensory cues. You may need to Anchor again and again to reach the desired state of mind, so, do not give up until you and your subject can see, hear and feel a remarkable difference. Anchors that are not reinforce soon, faded as memories.

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Future Pace: Ask the person to imagine in their future a possible stressful situation where they want to use the same resource anchor and imagine that they are using the anchor. Repeat the procedure several times. Ask them to set something that will remind them to use the anchor in that situation. For example, a face expected to see then, opening a door, Standing up for presentation. Associate that something to the anchor. Because a powerful Anchor is a waste unless they remember to use it.

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Exercise – Resource Anchoring: Perform Resource Anchoring by following steps. This exercise is between at least two participants (A, B): (Time will be 5 minutes each) 1. A will be the subject, and B will be the practitioner. 2. A will tell a situation (Not very intense situation in the start), that need to be change. 3. B will perform a short interview, and take notes of the details that can be used in exercise. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

4. B will “Elicit a Resource State: Mental”, by Model the state Bring back a Resourceful Memory OR Telling a Story

Or Use the following script as sample: “Can you recall a time when you felt totally confident? … Recall one specific time … Recall it as clearly as you can … See what you saw … Hear what you heard … and feel what you felt … Make it BIGGER … Make it BRIGHTER … bring it CLOSER … Step inside your own body … Now intensify the feeling by noticing the direction in which it is moving in your body and spin it faster and faster … increase the intensity … DOUBLE IT … TRIPPLE IT … increase it even more …”

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5. B will keep calibrating. If needed perform step 6. Otherwise, Anchor at the end of the script. 6. Then B will guide A for State Elicitation: Physical 7. While B observe changes, will also perform and write down Calibration of the new state by observing any change in: Voice Tone_______________________________________________________________ Voice Volume_____________________________________________________________ Posture _________________________________________________________________ Facial Color ______________________________________________________________ Eye Accessing Cues ________________________________________________________ Facial Muscle_____________________________________________________________ Angle of Head ____________________________________________________________ Lower lip size_____________________________________________________________ Breathing Patterns ________________________________________________________

8. Anchor the State. 9. Test the Anchor. If not satisfactory repeat from number 4 to 7. Otherwise go to next point. 10. Future Pace.

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Chaining Anchors Sometimes we have to add one or more states in between Current State and Desired State to make a change. That’s where Chaining Anchors came in. Chaining anchors took a person trough a sequential series of states. Chaining Anchor is useful when there is no direct path between the unremorseful state and a resourceful state and need to fill up the gap. Usually, this gap filled firstly with confusion, then with a similar state of desired state then desired state itself. For example, from an intensive aggressive anger state, first you are going to install confusion state from unremorseful anger by logic etc., then a calm state comes in, then happy feelings will be installed that preferably come naturally.

Intense Anger

Confusion

Calm

Happy

To chain these states, you would anchor each state in different places. Then firing and repeating those anchors in the same series several times, gives your client a path out of their unremorseful state.

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Stacking Anchors The purpose of using Staking Anchor is that when we want to fire more than one Anchors in one touch. The procedure is the same as Chaining Anchors, but there are two main differences, 1. States that are chosen for particular anchor have the same end result. 2. All Anchors are placed on the same place. Sometimes, a single resourceful state is not enough on its own to change the situation, therefore, you “Stack” states buy pulling up a series of resourceful states on the same anchor. When this Anchor is fired all the resourceful states are accessed, and form one powerful state.

For example, You may want to stack Only Pleasure on different times, and the same place with exactly same pressure.

…… OR You may want to stack different states of same end results on different times and exactly same place with same pressure, such as: Being Totally Powerful + Totally Loved + Highly Energetic + Laughing + Confident + Lucky etc.

…… And of course, repetition will make it powerful every time.

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Collapsing Anchors Purpose of Collapsing Anchors are used to remove an un-resourceful state by adding confusion to it, and gradually its effects remove. The resulting mind state is usually different from initial two states.

Anchor Un-Resourceful multiple times

Anchor Resourceful Just once

Create Confusion By firing both

Lift Un-Resourceful & Get

Resourceful

Sometimes, if there’s a negative state you want to get rid of – such as anger, worry or annoyance – you’re in the right place. The great thing about collapsing anchors is that you don’t just get rid of a negative emotion; you replace it with a more resourceful state too - such as relaxation, confidence, happiness or laughter. This means that when you encounter a situation that used to cause you grief, not only do you avoid a negative reaction, but you actually respond very positively towards it!

Preparation The first thing to do when collapsing anchors is to define the negative state to be collapsed. Try and choose a specific scenario which causes you to respond negatively, as it will be more effective that way. Choose a memory of a particular colleague who angers you at work, a specific part of your day that really annoys you, or the way you respond if you come home from work and your housemate has left the place in a tip, for example. I’m sure an appropriate reaction will pop in your head. Next, choose the positive state you would like to install instead. As mentioned above, good states for this include happiness, relaxation and overbearing fits of laughter. Again, choose a specific time you have been in this state, or for best results, choose a few examples of a time you have been in this state, and we’ll anchor them all together in a minute. Please note that your positive state must be stronger than the negative state – otherwise this technique won’t work as well as it could.

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Set the Anchors First, anchor the negative state, by rubbing the thumb and finger of your left hand together whilst you relive the memory. Make sure that you are fully associated when you do this – which means seeing the memory through your own eyes, feeling what you felt, and hearing what you heard. Note – anchor this memory as it is. Don’t make the feelings any more (or less) intense. Do this just once. Release the anchor at the peak of the emotion. Next, break state by doing something else for 30 seconds. Sing a hymn. Write a poem. Have a dance. Up to you. Now, test your anchor by rubbing your thumb and finger together. If the anchor has worked, you’ll feel the negative state come back. Break state again. No need to overdo the negative side of this. Now, the fun part: it’s time to anchor the positive state. Start to relive the positive memory by associating into it, and seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, and feeling what you felt. Make the picture bigger, brighter, more colorful and more vivid. Pull it closer towards you and engulf yourself with all these positive emotions. Laugh out loud... Smile... Giggle...Do whatever it takes to make you feel awesome. Anchor the positive state by rubbing the thumb and finger of your right hand together whilst you’re feeling all the positive emotions (using different hands uses the different hemispheres of the brain, making it easier to integrate your states). Release the anchor when the emotion is at its peak. Break state for 30 seconds, and then repeat the previous steps by anchoring a different memory of the same positive emotion (recommended) or the same memory again. Use the same thumb / finger combo to anchor. Make yourself feel as awesome as possible. Do this 2-3 more times. Have fun whilst you do this! Break state again, and then test your positive anchor. If you’ve done it right, you’ll feel like you’ve taken a load of happy drugs. Now it’s time for collapsing anchors.

Time to Collapse! To collapse your anchor, fire off the positive and negative anchors at the same time, by rubbing the thumbs and fingers of both hands together. The next 30 seconds – 2 minutes of your life are likely to seem a little odd. When you do this, your brain starts to integrate the two different states. This may feel a little strange at first -

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almost like an internal short-circuit in your brain – which may cause you to feel a bit of mild confusion. As you keep holding the anchors, however, you’ll soon break clear of all negative feelings, and start to feel the full power of the positive emotions. When you feel that the anchors have collapsed – i.e. you feel awesome – let go of the negative anchor, whilst keeping hold of the positive anchor for another 5-10 seconds. Test and “future pace” the effectiveness of the collapsing anchors technique by imagining a time in the future when you’ll have to encounter the thing that made you feel crappy before. If this has worked, notice just how different you feel... and try to stop laughing!

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CIRCLE OF EXCELLENCE This activity is to add resources to a place in your or other’s life where you would want more EXCELLENEC. Stet of Excellence mean a state in which you have all resources available to you in a way that allows you to act with your full capacity and confidence. To start with this activity, 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Identify a state of excellence that you would like to have more of, in your life”. Now, draw a circle in front of you, and give it a color of excellence. Access your excellence state and associate it with this circle. Think of a time when you were experiencing this state in a completely satisfying way. See what you saw then, Hear what you heard then, and Feel powerfully what you were feeling then. 6. Step into this circle with these powerful resources. 7. Increase the lights, the sounds, and intensifying the feelings. 8. At that point, combine your one finger and thumb, or make a powerful fist. 9. Say out loud, “I can DO THIS..”. 10. Step back out of the circle. 11. Break your state. Make a psychological shift. 12. Step back into the circle and notice if you get the state back. Make a fist, and say out loud, ”I can DO THIS”. 13. Once you get the state, came out of the circle. 14. Think of a future situation where you want more of this state of excellence and step into your circle. 15. Experience the situation from your “CIRCLE

OF EXCELLENCE”.

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ENJOY YOUR POWERFUL LIFE

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Saeed Mukhtar Ahmad Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Instructor Silva UltraMind ESP System & Instructor Hypnosis

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