Why Good People Fail Ebook Beta

LLOYD LUNA

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Why Good People Fail

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Also by LLOYD LUNA Is There A Job Waiting For You? Why Am I Working? Alphabet of Achievement The Obvious Reasons for Success The Best Advice I Ever Gave (So Far) The Internet Marketing Handbook Nurse Your Future (DVD) Do You Have A Life of Your Own? (DVD) Break Me Up

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Why Good People Fail

LLOYD LUNA

WHY GOOD PEOPLE FAIL

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Copyright © 2011 by Lloyd A. Luna. All rights reserved. Published by LLOYDLUNA Corporation, Manila, Philippines. Cover Design © 2011 by LLOYDLUNA. Photos by: Great Image Services Corporation No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted, without either the prior written permission or authorization by the publisher. Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to The Publisher, LLOYDLUNA Corporation, 1745 Dian St., Makati City 1235 Philippines, Tel. (632) 505.5336, Fax (632) 846.1089. Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. LLOYDLUNA also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about LLOYDLUNA products, visit our web site at www.lloydluna.com ISBN: 978–971–93474–3–9 Printed in the Philippines. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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Dedication

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Introduction

Introduction Chapter 1:

Always be careful

Chapter 2:

Define who you are

Chapter 3:

Change your perspective



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Chapter 4:

Qualify your responses



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Chapter 5:

Strengthen your connection

Afterword



Acknowledgment







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Introduction Have you ever met a good person—kind, humble, lovely, loving, generous, sweet, caring, hardworking, thoughtful, patient, open-minded, dependable, reasonable—but broke? Sure, you have. It’s because in this world, there are just too many of them. You see them often while you’re at home, in the office, in coffee shops, in school, in the church. They are everywhere, too. Chances are you work with them as well. Some of them are

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your friends, your classmates, your associates, your seat mate, or your golf buddy. The truth is we see these people everyday. And in several occasions, they approached us for some advice. Whether we are the best person to counsel or not, we try to appease them and share some words with them. That’s why you are friends. Where those words are coming from doesn’t matter. We are there to comfort them. However, we also know that in some cases, we are on the same place as they are thus facing the same set of problems, sometimes even harder. Whoever is asking for an advice from whom isn’t as important getting an advice itself. Most of the time, we get them for free over lunch or coffee.

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Despite those wisdom you get from people you talk to, the goodness that you have in your heart, and the countless opportunities out there, something seems to always go wrong. Why is that? Is it because one just luckier than the other? Is it because one was born with riches while the other with ditches? Is it because one has a complete education and the other is a high school dropout? Why is it that regardless of our status in life, we sometimes find ourselves hopeless and helpless? While money can solve many problems, it can create problems which it can’t solve. While popularity matters to most people, it can’t guarantee anything. There were celebrities who opened up a business only to get bankrupt after. There were politicians who also put up their own

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but failed. We know of people with PhDs and masters degree who ventured into something and suffered the same fate. How can you connect the idea that many people fail despite their goodness? So the question now becomes, “Do we even have to be bad to succeed?” Unfortunately, bad people, like the good ones, fail, too. So what’s the deal here? What do you need to be to succeed? Do you need to be good or bad? While the answer to the question, “Why good people fail?” seems to be complicated, I found a simple yet profound answer. Surprisingly, the answer doesn’t suggest that you need to be bad to succeed because they are many bad people who fail, too. Good people fail because they are careless.

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This book is fundamentally about what people thought doesn’t matter but would have proved to be one of the many causes of success from bottom up. Let me tell you a centuries-old story. Once upon a time, there were two good people who dreamed of having their own house. Because of the goodness of their heart and probably the clarity and authenticity of their intention, they were blessed with all the resources they need to build what they desire. There came the money and the people they need for their dream house. These two good people were given an equal opportunity to put up their house wherever they wish. They can choose to build in the mountain, in the shore, in the city—literally any place they please.

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The first good person decided to build his house immediately. “I think I already have everything I need. I will start building my dream house,” he said. Because he has the finest building materials and the best people at his disposal, he was able to build an incredible house in no time. In the morning, he would see the sun rising. At night, the majestic view of the sky is incomparable. Indeed, it was something worth envying about! But he built his house on the sand. The second good person decided to build his house, but not too fast. He gathered his team of equally talented people and discussed how they’d use every resource at their disposal. They looked around the city

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and carefully studied the location where they’ll build the house. It took them sometime and it took them a lot of work. Then, there started the construction true enough after a couple of months, they are able to build such an amazing place to live in. He enjoyed the view and he’s satisfied with the result. He built his house on the rock. One day, a strong typhoon came. The house of the first good person was not spared from it. It was blown away to the seas. He was left with none. On the other side of the valley, the second good person found his house braving the storm, withstanding the gusty wind. It stood still and he was safe. Two good people given with equally talented workers and incredible resources landing on different fate. Why is that?

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Because one doesn’t have to be bad to fail. He only needs to be careless. Everyday, we are faced with choices that we thought don’t matter as far as our future is concerned. We thought it’s still far and yes, we thought little things don’t really count. We don’t care about life’s tiniest details. We feel they would only waste our precious time. Really, there seems to be nothing wrong in disregarding little things or little decisions. It’s only until we are down to the bottom when we’d realize that sometime in the past, we forgot the things would have mattered. It’s too late. This book aims to explain to people the reason behind every failure and why good

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people, while they are truly good, fail and get broke. Understanding the reason and the things people should be mindful about can help prevent them from the dangers that carelessness brings. As you read on, you’ll discover small things that build grand successes and small mistakes that cause heartbreaking failures. Because this book is also about the things you must fix if you’re already sick and tired of being good but broke, you can expect some tips and unsolicited advice that cover carefulness. I believe that carefulness is to success and carelessness is to failure. I know you are a good person. Most people are. But when you get sick and tired of being good but broke, you need to start to care to the smallest of details.

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That’s because good people only succeed when they put an extra care on to something. That includes caring for your life, for the people you love, and for the world.

The Author Manila, Philippines September 10, 2011

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CHAPTER 1

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Always be careful Carelessness is the root of all failures whether you are a good or a bad person. The story of two good people with the same blessing but with different fate is a lesson about carelessness. I’m sure somehow, we lived a life similar to either the first or second good person. When I was still a kid during my first boy scout camp experience, I may have forgotten everything that was taught except for one. The scout leader said whatever happens, remember your ABC, which stands for Always Be Careful. I didn’t know that such ABC works well in real, older life. I thought its only at that camping site in Inaclagan Village, Gumaca, Quezon that carefulness was a golden rule.

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Regardless of what you do and why you do it, you only have to be careful to avoid as many failures as you can. Just a seemingly simple mistake can ruin everything that you’ve built. It seems like your level of care defines your level of success. No matter how bright, talented, and skillful you are, a little carelessness may take you down the drain. Before you knew it, you’ve already lost almost everything that you’ve built and mattered. I’m sure it hurts. Most of us don’t pay attention to details as much as we pay attention to bigger pictures like what’s in and what’s hot at the moment. We’d rather focus on the dream than take small steps to achieve it. When you say you want to become an engineer, you don’t stay at home, meditate, attract every positive

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energy from the universe, and things like that. Instead, you go to school and get that degree. While inside the school, you don’t meditate, attract every positive energy from the universe, and things like that. Instead, you pick up the books and read. Pick up the pen and write. Study your lessons and recite. With enough prayer and planning, I’m sure you’ll get the degree. But certainly not by focusing on your goal but on little steps that lead you to the goal. Like any bad person, we can easily be taken out of the world.

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A couple of years ago, my mentor and I was talking about life. His idea of life is about avoidance. When we walk in a mall, he said, you don’t try to bump to the person coming your way. You pick another space so that you don’t bump at each other. The thing about life, he stressed, is that like any one else, it takes only one bullet for us to die.

 It takes only one bullet for someone to die whether he is good or bad.

Such conversation reminds me to keep it cool while in the middle of a heavy traffic. If I become impatient and cut here and there, I may find someone getting really pissed off. If the person has a gun, he may go down the car and confront me. Should he choose to point the gun to my head and pull the trigger, my being a good person may not deliver me from probable death. My impatience in a traffic situation may take me to the grave no matter how good I

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am. That’s a simple mistake causing a total failure. How many people die everyday when crossing the street? Unthinkable. Do you think most of the casualties are good people? I think so. But why did they die? The reason can be mostly attributed to lack of care. If you don’t follow traffic rules, you’d rather be ready to face whatever circumstance is there for you including death by carelessness. Really, why do we have to be careful? It’s not just we want to avoid as many failures as we can. We also want to go on with our life looking for possible success somewhere in the journey. Am I suggesting that carefulness is one key to success? Well, yes. If at all you so wonder why some good (and bad) people

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make it. It seems like our bottom line is highly relevant with care. Let me tell you something. The difference between an ordinary and an extraordinary person isn’t the result of their performance. Besides, the result is simply defined by how they did it. The difference lies on the operating prefix, “extra.” In most cases, they put extra care, extra effort, extra time, and extra attention to what is visibly insignificant to ordinary eyes. That little extras practiced every day makes them extraordinary. The news is they were not born with “extras.” Nobody was born with such a concept. We learn about it. We apply it because we know something better will happen when we do. Interestingly, it is by choice that they add something to what they do like a little concern if you will.

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Is it easy to put a little extra care on your project? Of course. If you’ve been out for the longest time, would you want to have an extra time for your loved ones? Sure. If you know you’d benefit from something, would you put an extra effort to make it work? O, absolutely. However, if you knew also that you wouldn’t get anything from it, would you still choose to put it an extra care? Probably not. It’s because almost by default, whether we accept it or not, most of us are trained to ask, “What’s in it for me?” before we perform a certain task. Such philosophy is a philosophy of the careless. Asking a wrong question yields a wrong answer. Therefore, being lousy about

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our thinking process means losing some parcels of success and happiness. In fact, it takes you away from your goal. Most people think that by doing something as instructed, only the one giving the order benefits from it. In real life, though, when we do a certain task, it’s not other people who only benefit from it. If you think about it for a second, you’d realize that everything you’ve done in the past have defined who you are now. That is supposed to be beneficial for you, too. But since you think you’re not getting anything from it, you lost that moment when you can exercise your own creativity that can take you a step closer to your goal. Whether you did it with love or hatred, you still did the work. The result shows all the difference and the people who’ve seen it can tell who you are base on what you’ve done.

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A masterpiece isn’t made by a heavy heart. It can only be made by a caring heart. If you did something against your will, but did it anyway, you’ve failed to recognize the opportunity in it. Every work we take is a chance for us to show our goodness. No matter where we are. No matter how light or heavy the work may be. Can you complain? Sure. However, if you don’t have any other choice but to do it, what’s the point of complaining? Would that even help you get the job done? I rest my case. The thing is we need to be careful with our philosophy. But what is philosophy? A couple of years ago when a good old mentor of mine introduced me to

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 A masterpiece isn’t made by a heavy heart. It can only be made by a caring heart.

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“philosophy,” I didn’t pay much care. What do I care about Plato or Socrates? For me, they were too intellectual to follow. I’ve had my philosophy class in college, like most of us had, and we know how it works. It’s probably one of those boring subjects next to Mathematics. Anyway, he had these lessons about life, business, and success, which I was not sure at the time if it can have any bearing on what I’d like to do. Nonetheless, I listened. Please take note that I listened, which didn’t mean that I understood what he was trying to explain about philosophy. But somehow and somewhere along our conversation, I came across a beautiful, sound, and profound statement that goes like this: “If you have a question, don’t look for the answer. Look for the reason

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because when you find the reason, you’ll automatically find the answer.” If you’re in the middle of something and you’ve heard such a wonderful, highly intellectual line, would you not stop for a while and ask, “Sorry, what was it again?” I did. That’s when I appreciated the role of philosophy in my life. Philosophy, I realized, is my set of beliefs. I do things in a certain way based on those beliefs. If something you tell me to do is not within that set, I won’t do it wholeheartedly. Or, probably I’ll do it but with doubt and suspicion. Why? Because my self tells me it’s not supposed to be that way or it’s not how it should be done. It just wouldn’t connect.

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Philosophy is about asking questions and challenging answers so we can come up with a better answer, a better view, and a better understanding of life. Boring, is it not? Yes, but certainly necessary. That’s when I started to work on my belief system. I challenged my assumptions. I challenged what I’ve learned from all those years in school. I challenged my view in life. I started to ask question—in fact, the right questions. Why am I doing this? Why am I here? I’m a good person yet I’m in pain, and scarce, and frustrated with my life. I have the skills but why can’t make it somehow. I’m not a bad person—not a thief or a murderer—but why can’t I live my dream?

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Then, all questions pointed me back to “care.” I may be a good person but because I didn’t care as much as I needed to, I don’t become anything. I let each day pass without getting much from it. I engaged in word war instead of broadening my understanding of people. I engaged in mud slinging instead of building someone based on his goodness. I engaged in unproductive activities like wasting my time and little money in the mall going around and watching as many movies I can afford instead of reading books and getting into seminars. Why would someone like me come up with such a poor judgment? Because I didn’t care. And, I felt nobody would bother to care either.

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When I started to care, like some of us do, I slowly see the opportunities around. That little care caused huge changes in my life. A simple idea of carefulness will surely work at least as far as our survival is concerned. If you’re a driver, you’d rather be careful. A devastating accident is just somewhere in the road. If you’re a doctor, you’d better be careful. You can claim a life in seconds. If you’re a teacher. Be careful. Even without you knowing it, you’re shaping a new generation. This is being careful. This can take you to where you want to be. This will make you become what you’d like your self to be. Always be careful.

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CHAPTER 2

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Define who you are If you’re a good person, it’s not automatic that you know your self well. Therefore, you create a room for failure. Your idea about who you are and what you are made of guides every step you take toward success or failure. That means if your self-image is low, I can assume that your life is somewhere in the low as well. I have an interesting fable to tell you to make you realize how important knowing your self-image is. By that, I mean knowing really who you are. Why? Because what you believe about who you are is shaping your destiny! One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He

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climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river. The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back. Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream. "Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?" "Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won’t try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

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"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!" Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!" "This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!" "Alright then… how do I know you won’t just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog. "Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now, would it?!"

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So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current. Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

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"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?" The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back. "I could not help myself. It is my nature. It’s who I am." Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river. Your personal belief about who you are is defining your destiny. If anything, you need to be clear about your identity because we all now know that we behave based on it. People who live in depressed areas are more likely to stay there unless they change their belief about who they are.

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On the other hand, people who lived in exclusive villages are more likely to stay there so as long as they can sustain it. Why is this so? Because they have a different picture about who they are. The main reason people live in a depressed area isn’t because they are incapable of getting away from it but because they see themselves unworthy of anything more than what they have at the moment. Do you know of a person who are given with something but refused to accept it because he feels he doesn’t deserve it? In many occasion, we have seen this happening right before our very eyes. Because we feel unworthy, it would be a slap on our face when we take it. Therefore, we say no. Frankly, I wouldn’t blame

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anybody for choosing this action because it’s only logical “to get what you deserve” and therefore “refuse what you don’t deserve.” But the issue is no longer about your acceptance or refusal. The issue, because we are now philosophical, boils down to “what you can do to deserve something.” This is where we step back and start anew. This time, with an extra little care. Remember, if you don’t care about your self-image, expect no one else to care. We begin by examining the portrait we’ve created and believed in about who we are for the longest time. Take a case of a poor (or rich) person most likely to remain poor (or rich) unless he decided to change his picture in his mind. Everyday, he brings such picture with him

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everywhere he goes. So, when he talks to someone, he talks based on what he thinks he is. When you have a conversation with a poor person, you may not probably see a genuine confidence in him not because he’s bad but because the mental picture he has about himself is sad, dirty, unworthy, messed up, and poor little guy. These things simply tell him, “You can’t be confident. Look down. Be apologetic.” It’s a different case when you start a conversation with a person who grew up in an exclusive village. His mental picture about himself might be loved, valued, and taken care of. Now, that’s an instant source of confidence that tell him, “You can be confident, kid. Look directly to the eyes. Look up.”

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This is a case of two good people with different mental picture about who they are. Interestingly, our self-image magnifies reality by a couple of times—the worse becomes worst, the better becomes best. Mentally speaking, that means, if you belittle your self, you don’t belittle your self twice. You belittle your self more than two times. So, in our example, the first one magnifies his emptiness and the other one his fullness. In the next five years, if say nothing happens and they don’t alter their respective beliefs, who will fail? The good news, however, is we can change the way look at our self instantly. You can wake up tomorrow morning with a renewed mental photo about who you are. Nobody can stop you from creating and developing a brand new mental picture of your self. It happens inside your mind.

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Feel free to have a self-talk with your self (in private please), and say, “I may not have more money but I’m not poor. In fact, I’m on my way to work on my talent and skills so I can attract more money any time soon.” The other way of doing that may be, “I may not have expensive clothes to wear today but this is clean and neat enough and I smell fine. I’m on my way to work harder on my talent and skills so I can afford to buy better garments soon.” That can start a build up of a better selfimage about who you are. When you start changing your belief about who you are, everything else changes with it. Besides, you can’t afford to forever look down on your self and feel sorry or you’ll forever take that downward direction.

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Our self-image influence how we live our lives. We need to take good care of the quality of this image because all our actions seem to depend primarily on such picture. If you think you are a bad (or a good) person, you’d act think and act like one. That’s it. Since self-portrait is important, it goes hand in hand with self mastery. Having a clear portrait of who you are may be useless if you don’t put anything to work. That’s why you need to master your self. Self-mastery is knowing your self more than anybody else thus having sound clues on why and how to respond to any given stimulus at any time so that you achieve your objective. In the field, it’s familiarizing your self with every weapon at your disposal so you know what to use in a particular situation.

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In business, it’s mastering your every resource, your balance sheet, your numbers, your markets, your competition, and many more things in between so you’d know what to do better next. In politics and governance, it’s knowing your constituents, your detractors, your supporters, the media, government agencies, instrumentalities and bureaucracy so you can lead better (and hopefully get elected again after your tenure). So no wonder many people would fail because they don’t have an idea about the resources they have at hand not to mention that most of them are don’t even realize that they are capable of performing miracles in their lives. Let’s check why people are so stagnant if not so going downhill in many cases. One, they are afraid that something may not

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work rather than being excited if something goes right. The shadow of fear seems to be stronger than that of courage. Two, while they are interested with the reward should they finish something, it looks like the task is so overwhelming that they’d rather forget the reward and pick an easier task. Three, as long as they are comfortable, they aren’t changing anything. The deal is when you’re clueless about your capabilities, you can’t do anything at all. It’s failure by default. More than two thousand years ago, a Great Teacher was born. He lived among us so we can understand what love and care truly mean. In one of His many teachings, we heard something about “our body as a temple.” My understanding is we need to make sure that the temple is clean, pleasing, and presentable. The only time it can happen is when we take good care of it.

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His coming, I think, gives us a couple of reasons to always remember who we are and what we are made of. One, we are created on His own image, thus, we should be beautiful. Two, we are first loved, thus, we can love. Three, we are worth the Teacher’s life, thus, we’re not cheap and unworthy. We have a spiritual accountability to see to it that we care about our self-image. After all, we live our lives based on our identity. Once you’ve got a solid identity that gives you the confidence to achieve your dreams, always remember who you are. Whenever I think about my own identity as an important tool for success, I’m reminded by an old fable, “The Monkey and the Dolphin.” It reminds me to stick to who I am.

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A sailor, bound on a long voyage, took with him a Monkey to amuse him while on shipboard. As he sailed off the coast of Greece, a violent tempest arose in which the ship was wrecked and he, his Monkey, and all the crew were obliged to swim for their lives. A Dolphin saw the Monkey contending with the waves, and supposing him to be a man (whom he is always said to befriend), came and placed himself under him, to convey him on his back in safety to the shore. When the Dolphin arrived with his burden in sight of land not far from Athens, he asked the Monkey if he were an Athenian. The monkey replied that he was, and that he was descended from one of the most noble families in that city.

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The Dolphin then inquired if he knew the Piraeus (the famous harbor of Athens). The monkey assumed that Piraeus is a man so it answered, “I knew him very well. In fact, he is an intimate friend.” The Dolphin, indignant at these falsehoods, dipped the Monkey under the water and drowned him. Those who pretend to be what they are not, sooner or later, find themselves in deep water. You don’t want to be a good person who’s dying because you fail to define who you are. You want to be a good person who knows your self very well without pretension, hesitation, or reservation.

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CHAPTER 3

Change your perspective

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If you’re a good person, it doesn’t mean that you have a proper view of the world. Two good people can have a different view about the world and the people living in it. Therefore, it’s important to always evaluate our views and check our perspectives toward something. How important is your view of something? Let me share this centuries-old story. There was once a farmer who owned a beautiful plot of land at the back of his farmhouse. It was fenced up, so to prevent trespassers from entering it. One fine day, a group of boys decided to climb over the fence and started to play ball on that beautiful plot of land.

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This naturally displeased the farmer, as the boys were trampling on his land and damaging it. The farmer walked out into his backyard to chase the boys away, but no matter how hard he tried, the boys simply ignored him. Being a rather old man, he realized after a while that it was pointless for him to continue trying. The boys just would not go away. As so, it went on and on. Every day, the boys would climb over the fence and play ball on his beautiful plot of land. This anguished the farmer greatly. One fine afternoon, as the boys were playing on the plot of land, the farmer walked out to meet with them.

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He didn’t say anything. He just gave each boy a dollar coin and walked back into his farmhouse. Naturally, the boys were puzzled. Nonetheless, they each   kept their dollar coins, and continued playing ball. The next afternoon, as the boys were playing on the plot of land, the farmer again walked out to meet with them. He didn’t say anything but this time he gave each of the boys   two dollar coins and walked back into his farmhouse. This puzzled the boys even more. “Why is the old farmer giving us money?” they wondered. Nonetheless, they continued playing ball. This went on for a few more days.

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Each day, the boys would eagerly await the farmer to appear from his farmhouse to give them dollar coins. True enough,   each day while they were playing ball, the farmer would give each of the boys one more dollar coin than the previous day. This went on for five consecutive days. However on the sixth   day, the farmer stopped appearing from his farmhouse. The boys received no dollar coins that day. Every one of them went home that evening disappointed. On the seventh, eight, ninth and tenth day, the farmer still did not appear.

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On the eleventh day onwards, the boys never came back to the beautiful plot of land ever again. The story tells us the importance of perspectives—our view of the world and everything that happens in it. During the first days, the boys were enjoying the game. Later, they were enjoying the dollars. It’s a sudden change of perspective. When they did, they changed the entire scene. The joy of playing ball has become less important than the joy of getting dollars. In this age of history, people now have the access to express such views in many ways. Technology has leveled the playing field among nations, races, and classes. We can easily share our views to the world in just a click of a button.

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At the same time, technology has been also giving us a hard time in narrowing down our focus. Media has been deeply penetrating our individuality giving more information than we can absorb. In the process, we lose our sound judgment. Sometimes, we are confused on which to believe. Some even no longer wants to believe. I agree you can be a good person. But without a proper view of life and the world, you may fail. Your perspective tells you what to focus on. That’s why if your perspective is poorly crafted, based on the quality of media you are subscribed to for example, you don’t focus of what truly matters to you. The next thing you know you’re bleeding and desperately failing no matter how good you are.

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Many people still believe that the world is unfair. In fact, some even said that life is unfair. Perhaps. Why not? People don’t always give whom the credit is due. Many others don’t play the game by the rules. A bunch of cheaters and liars is out there waiting to strike and if you are caught unprepared, you probably would blame somebody or something else for being a victim. Whoever told you that life is unfair gives us an impression that at least once in that person’s life, he became a victim. Our view of the world is mainly influenced by our experiences with people. In dealing with people, whether they are your family or friends or associates, we can only wish that they treat us fairly. Hopefully, we can agree on a certain set of rules and everybody plays by it no matter what.

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But that can only go as far as your ability to wish is concerned because in reality, while many won’t break the rule, they would either bend it, work around it, or create a new rule that makes the old rule irrelevant. Whether they get a nod from you for the new set of rules is their call. When this happens, a good person may find himself on the losing edge and would eventually complain. So, instead on focusing on the game, he’s now focused on the rules, which were just altered a while ago without his approval. Once lost, a good person may easily exclaim, “It’s unfair!” Well, probably it is. On second thought, probably, it’s just the way it is. The idea of trying, losing, and winning isn’t something new. I’m sure we all have a fair

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share of what it’s like to fail—in finance, relationships, academics, business, or spirituality. Such summary of those often painful experiences shape our perspectives. Whatever we have become in our individual journey is something we figure out on our own. I’m sure many of us have stopped trying after failing several times. If blame game can solve our problem, we have probably nothing to talk about anymore. Unfortunately, blame game doesn’t help. Do you blame the economy for your inability to find a job in a hyper competitive market? Do you blame your school for not solidly preparing you for the workplace? Do you blame your government for being so corrupt and so negligent of its people? Why do you think good people fail in a struggling economy? It’s not because the economy is struggling. It’s because people

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are not valuable enough for companies to take on board. Why do you think good people can’t easily find a job after graduation? It’s not because the school didn’t prepare them. It’s because the students didn’t equip themselves with skills that were not provided by the school. Why do you think people fail as far a governance is concerned? It’s not because of non-performing politicians and members of the bureaucracy. It’s because we elect and put them in the position. We have tried and failed using the blamegame formula. In short, if our perspective leans toward pointing our finger to something or someone for our misfortune, then we have no other way to go but down. If our view of life is about the ugliness of something, then nothing else is beautiful.

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In shaping our perspective, we should learn to put together the lessons we’ve learned from our long list of experiences—good and bad—and start building a stronger position on a certain life issue. Without a strong stand, you can easily be swayed and made believe by influential people around you. Who these people are is something else. We have to sit down and list down our values and what we value the most. By doing this, we can make a wiser decision should nature decides to make fun out of us again. Can you reframe your mind so you can have a fresh perspective? If you follow the story of the farmer and the kids, you know it’s as easy. But something is difficult when you are about to do an easy task. The idea of doing something easy makes us feel it’s less important, thus, we neglect it. That’s one

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reason why we fail in the long term. Our view of an easy task makes us think that it can be done later. The result is obviously inaction. If we can twist our perspective in many ways that we haven’t tried before, our lives will change dramatically. Our everyday decision is highly dependent on what we can take from our archive of memories. Such collective perspectives, if crafted carelessly, can bring us more harm than good. Put an extra care on how you establish your logic, how you frame and refine your perspectives, and how you view the world and the people around you and sure everything else will change for you.

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CHAPTER 4

Qualify your responses A good person who responds poorly to a given stimulus is a good person who’s failure is at hand. Have you heard of a person who didn’t like to be successful (or rich) because it’s hard to be one? My problem with that is nobody would know if one goal is difficult to achieve a person hasn’t tried to be one yet. Our responses to a certain stimulus almost guarantee us of what fate is in store for us. Take the case of a careless goat in this old story, “The Fox and the Grapes.”

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One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," it said. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a one, two, three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour." It is easy to despise what you cannot get, isn’t it? How we respond to everything that happens in our life is a prelude to what we can achieve in this world. That’s why it’s important for good people to revisit the role of “cause and effect” in our lives.

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Why do plants, animals, human beings, and practically all living organisms do what they do? The answer points us back to our science subject. When we were still in grade school, we were taught about stimulus and response or “cause and effect.” In a day, you make tens and thousands of responses on tens of thousands of stimuli around you. If you’re not so keen on qualifying and finding out your response, you may have been responding poorly in a supposedly door of opportunity. That means, your response to an event or a person can either be your passport to success or your free ticket to failure. If you have been responding the same way on a similar situation or person over and over again, you can’t expect a different

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result unless the “stimulus” that caused it responded to your response. Since cause and effect is a very important topic for good people to understand, let’s go and discuss it piece by piece. Stimulus is anything that evokes a specific functional reaction. In science, it is defined as a change in an external or internal environment which causes and organism to react. In real life, stimulus can be an event or a person that causes us to move or do something. Interestingly, there are two types of stimulus. One is external and the other is internal. Let’s write down some examples and make some distinctions. When you are hungry, you eat. When you are thirsty, you drink. When you are late, you rush. When you are caught lying, you

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apologize (or lie again, which is not recommended). In the cases above, we respond on an internal stimulus. In other words, the cause is internal and therefore not influenced by an outside force. When a rabbit gets scared, it runs away. When you are cold, you put on a jacket. When it starts raining, you take out an umbrella. In our examples above, we respond on an external stimulus, meaning, what caused the subject to react comes from the outside of the subject. The good news is we can choose how to respond to any stimulus. We can respond using either learned or instinct behavior. Learned behavior are actions we take based on what we knew from our past while

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instinct are simply natural responses we take in a given situation. Talking and reading are basic an example of “learned behavior.” Nobody was born who knows how to talk and read. Animal’s behavior “to run away” from danger is an instinct because there is a need for safety. We don’t have to remind poor people, who can only eat once or twice a day, to survive because survival is an instinct behavior. But to transition themselves from being poor to being rich needs In most cases, we use learned behavior to respond on something. When we decide consciously on either getting even or taking revenge, we can think of probably effect of such decision. Most good people don’t think about this. The instinct is to get even and fight back.

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I’m not suggesting not to fight back though. If you feel it is the best thing to do and you make your self liable to what most likely will happen, go ahead and make your day. But the issue isn’t fighting back, getting even, taking revenge, or staying put and letting things pass. The issue is, “Are you prepared to take the consequence of such action?” “Will such response make you anything?” “What do you become in such cause-and-effect process?” “What do you get from it?” “Will it worth anything?” “Will it cost you something?” Here’s what I think is one great learned behavior in response to, say, an argument or a fight, both physical and verbal. We should have learned that getting even is only a waste of time and energy. Every time we take revenge, it doesn’t guarantee that it will be to our favor this time. So, what’s the point of getting even? Simple. We fight back to serve the ego well.

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If we haven’t learned that revenge brings more harm than good, we will do it over and over again because our instinct can only suggest that once we get aggrieved or offended, we must fight back. This is not to say that instinct is wrong. In many ways, instinct can be a very powerful choice. However unlike animals, we misuse our instinct and sometimes use it to justify our mistakes. What’s better about animals is they seem to have a discipline in using their instinct ability to respond. Let me give you a comparison. Animals will naturally find or make themselves a home because they need a shelter. Some good people would rather go to the government and ask for a shelter.

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Animals will naturally look for food and water on their own. Some good people would rather wait for food and water. Animals will naturally migrate if they feel they need a new place to live. Some good people would rather migrate and relocate as mandated by the government, sell the properties provided for them, and then go back to the city. Animals will naturally store food for the rainy season. Some good people wouldn’t be interested in saving something for the coming season much less be aware as to when to store food. Proper use of instinct can go a very long way. Your ability to discipline your self in polishing your responses to any event that goes your way will make a huge difference on how you live your life. Not having control over those responses makes you

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susceptible to failure regardless of how good or bad you are.

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CHAPTER 5

Strengthen your connections A good person with a bad connection will likely fail. Our ability to get along with people is important. But what’s even more important is our ability to choose which circle we’d like to belong. You may have thousands of friends and each of them under poverty line. You may have a hundred friends and they live in abundance. Your circle of friends is telling you two things: the kind of person you are and the kind of life you live.

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You see having too many people to share your pains, suffering, and agony doesn’t mean having the right people to help you out. It only means they are many and chances are you are one of them. The thing is you can’t depend much on people with the same status as you have. Uninformed and incompetent people leading others who are similarly incapable have proven to be true in centuries. In fact, one teaching asked, "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?” And it went on saying, “A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher." If you find out how most people surrounding them live their lives, you’ll likely discover the way you live your life, too. And you’ll have a clue as to where you

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are. In other words, the people you always associate your self with gives you an almost precise idea of who you are and what you can still become. Have you heard of a person who didn’t like to be successful (or rich) because it’s hard to be one? My problem with that is how he did know it’s difficult if he has never been there before. It very difficult for a poor person to encourage the same poor person to become rich. He doesn’t know how it feels and looks like. End of story. How does your connection look like? Who surround you most of the time? Are they on to live their dreams or they just dream to achieve something? Are they really with you and would want to support you all the way up? For some people, these questions may sound discriminatory. Why not? Why

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question the characters of my friends or the quality of their lives? They are good people and they are always there for me. They are the only ones who understand me. My secrets are safe with them. They are my family now and I find refuge in them. First, I don’t say they are bad people. I always people in the innate goodness of everyone. Second, I don’t say nobody else can understand you. Third, I don’t mind if they are your family. Nonetheless, there an opportunity here. Let me give you some ideas to think about. How much money they have in the bank gives you a clue on how much you have. You’re almost in the same income level. How determined they are gives you an idea on the level of your determination. Their lifestyle is more or less your lifestyle, too. It means if you’re overspending (translate: spending on top of what you are getting

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every pay day), that’s because they are probably are. How careless they are gives you a mirror image of how much you care about your self, your dreams, and your life. You only have two choices here: Abandon the people who keep you from carrying out your mission and achieving your dreams or stay with them. Make that call. In other words, every relationship we create is a stepping stone to either success or failure. These stones serve as a building block of this path. How you built your connections in the past speaks about who you are now and how you plan to build a new path is entirely up to you. Well, every now and then you can get some people to advise you but please be careful about what you take because there’s

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a huge chance that the person advising you don’t know exactly what you have in mind. We are in a continuous creation of this path. Without these relationships or connection, it’s almost impossible for us to advance farther. It’s sad to note that many people destroy relationship and are very much busy destroying many others rather than building their own for reasons like insecurity, jealousy, envy, or hatred. I know there are more reasons but I don’t think they do more good to them. I always believe destroying relationships is a waste of time. The time and energy you use to destroy it is the same time and energy you use to build one.

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If you think your connection isn’t helpful, you don’t have to destroy it. Just leave it there and it will die naturally. The interesting thing about building a relationship is that you don’t know much surprises go with it. In no time, you’ll realize how small this world is! That’s why you can’t afford not to go out and make that connection. Every person leads to another. You don’t know when this newfound connection can come in handy. But I’m sure you’ll need it sooner than you think. Without realizing it, people fail because they build terrible connections. Worse, they don’t know that that’s what they are building! Now, here’s the crossroads: Which relationships do we strengthen and which do we spend a little time on?

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I hope you have a plenty of time to think about that. Unfortunately, we all have a limited time so I hope you can decide as soon as you can. While in primary school, we were asked to solve problems in a certain way. Our teacher gave us the step-by-step process on how to do it. Let’s recall the steps. First, identify the problem. Second, identify what are given. Third, identify which operations to be used. Fourth, solve the problem. Fifth, compare your answer with your seat mates. If you have the similar answer, you may have gotten it right. The fifth one is optional. Feeling more mature and therefore more intellectual than before, we didn’t stick much with this problem solving method. As we grow old, we tend to complicate things. So, our problem solving is no longer a four-

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step-method. We added more steps that sometimes make us stuck somewhere. But rationalizing so much and considering unnecessary details, we get paralyzed. Good people are not exempted to the rule. Both good and bad person will have problems and will have to solve them. How do you solve them? We think that the trend is the main thing. I other words, we put more value on things of lesser value.

Watching television seems to be more important than creating a bonding time for family. We’d rather turn it on all night than to have a family board meeting. A family is an organization. There’s a board and there must be a meeting.

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The thing is more often than not, we thought we are still OK and nothing to worry about. The next thing we realize our son is into drugs and our daughter is failing her school subjects. A simple assumption that you’re OK doesn’t seem to matter, does it? But it’s carelessness right there. It begins that process known as failure. How much time have we spent working on a day job that pisses us off? Or, a job that simply pays us twice every month? How long have we been studying something that is so far from what we like? Or, taking a subject that was merely somebody else’s choice? We need an exit strategy. It seems like staying in a job that we dislike doesn’t matter. Oh yeah, so as long as we are paid. We put on a very little effort. Why? We don’t love it anyway. Whether

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you perform well or ill, you still get the pay so why work harder? Would it matter if you work harder than your boss? Would someone notice you when you only do a little? Would anybody care at least as far as your job is concerned except probably for the company owners? But keeping a job that you are forced to get along with by your family, your boss, or your partner in the next five years is carelessness. It’s not sound. It’s ugly. That’s a wasted five years, which you could have spent on developing something for your self like, say, an enterprise. Well, you know, you can charge it to experience. Of course. You can always do that. But that’s five years. And it means starting on a blank canvas. Sure, you’ve got lessons in those years, hopefully. However, why go through the process of trial-and-

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error when you can try to succeed by simply being aware of your work interest? And what about our studies Everything rises and falls on caring. It is the very foundation of success and happiness. If you don’t care, what happens? You don’t become part of anything. It is only by showing that extra little care that you partake in something.

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Acknowledgment You may be a good person without the right connection. You may fail. Have you heard of a person who didn’t like to be successful (or rich) because it’s hard to be one? My problem with that is how he did know it’s difficult if he has not been there yet. In my life, I’ve been blessed with good people who were always there to share my joys and pains, my successes and failures, my delights and disappointments. Believe me when I say that these people I keep as friends, mentors, and advisers are the best there are. To them, I would like to express my abiding thanks and gratitude.

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Above all, however, I would like to give special acknowledgment to those who have obviously helped me in making this book what it is: To my creator, my dear God, who has given me the gift of writing and speaking. I wish to thank You profusely for every blessing that has come my way. May this life You have given me serve as a consistent reminder of your love to your people. And to my family, particularly to my dad Victorino Luna, who’s now retired from being a tricycle driver and is now a fulltime husband, cook, and a father. To my mom, who’s a retired public teacher, I appreciate your support and prayers. This life is nothing but a product of your love and faith in me. To my sisters, Celeste and Claire, I appreciate that way you challenge

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me. You know I’ll accept every challenge. I love you all! My business associates and long-time friends Ian Barcelona and Pocholo Gonzales, you’re nothing but a rare human beings. What I mean is a rare blessing that I see every so often. We always make it through ups and downs, don’t we? Or God has simply his ways of uniting us together to make other people’s lives fascinating. To my editor, Mr. Jose Carillo, I thank you for yet another successful “surgery” of my manuscript. Your passion in copyediting makes this masterpiece even more engaging! To my Facebook Fans (and Twitter followers) and former students, may you continue to enjoy life as it happens and may you find your meaning!

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THE SHOP

Go to: lloydluna.com/shop

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