Kojima Name Generator

KOJIMA NAME GENERATOR    Section 1: Determining How Many Names You Have  Kojima  often  creates  characters  that  have  many  alternate  names, so we must first figure out how many names you will have.    1.

Roll a d6. Use this table to determine how many names you have:  1­5 

You have 1 name. 

6 

You have 1 name + 6 other alternate names. 

  2.

If you rolled a 6, you must do this worksheet 6 more times. You do not  need to complete Sections 1­3 on subsequent name generations.   

Section 2: Personal Information  Kojima’s  characters  have  names  that  are  directly  related  to  their  own  character traits. This information will make sure your name fits your personality.    1.

What is your full name?   _______________________________________________________________________ 

2.

What do you do at your occupation?  _______________________________________________________________________  2a. Condense the verb in your answer into a single ­er noun. (e.g. if you  are a sheep farmer, your answer will be “farmer”)  _______________________________________________________________________ 

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3.

What was your first pet’s specific species/breed? If you never had a pet,  please answer with an animal you wish you owned.  _______________________________________________________________________ 

4.

What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory? Be specific.  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  4a. Condense this story into two words.  _______________________________________________________________________ 

5.

What is the object you’d least like to be stabbed by?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

6.

What is something you are good at? (Verb ending in ­ing)  _______________________________________________________________________ 

7.

How many carrots do you believe you could eat in one sitting, if someone,  like, forced you to eat as many carrots as possible?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

8.

What is your greatest intangible fear? (e.g. death, loneliness, fear itself)  _______________________________________________________________________ 

9.

What is your greatest tangible fear? (e.g. horses)  _______________________________________________________________________ 

10.

What is the last thing you did before starting this worksheet?  _______________________________________________________________________   

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11.

What condition is your body currently in? (single word answer)  _______________________________________________________________________ 

12.

Favorite state of matter?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

13.

A word your name kind of sounds like? (e.g. Brian ­> Brain)  _______________________________________________________________________ 

14.

What is your Zodiac sign?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

15.

If you had to define your personality in one word, what would it be?  _______________________________________________________________________   

Section 3: Kojima Information  Kojima character names reflect his own idiosyncrasies. He can’t help himself.    16.

Who is your favorite film character? (NOTE: must be played by Kurt Russell)  _______________________________________________________________________ 

17.

What is the last word of the title of your favorite Kubrick film?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

18.

What is the first word in the title of your favorite Joy Division album?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

19.

What is a scientific term you picked up from listening to NPR once?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

20.

What is a piece of military hardware you think looks cool even though war  is bad?  _______________________________________________________________________ 

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21.

What is something you’d enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do?  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________________________  21a. Please condense into one word.  _______________________________________________________________________ 

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Section 4: Determining Your Name Conditions  Sometimes,  a character will have a plot­based condition that affects their name.  You,  too,  might  have  a  condition  that  affects  your  name.  Conditions  can  stack,  so please make note of how many your name has.    1.

THE ­MAN CONDITION: Roll a d4. Use this table to determine whether you  have this condition:  1­3 

You do not have this condition. 

4 

You have this condition. Your last name will include the suffix  ­man. If your name already has ­man at the end of it, I guess  you’re just going to have ­manman at the end of your name. 

  2.

THE CONDITION CONDITION: Roll a d8. Use this table to determine your  what this condition will do to you:  1­5 

You do not have this condition. 

6 

You’re big. Your name must have “Big” at the beginning of it. 

7 

You are older than you once were. Your name must have “Old” at  the beginning of it. 

8 

You are how you currently are. Please add your answer from Section  2, Number 11 to the beginning of your name. 

  3.

THE CLONE CONDITION: Roll a d12. Use this table to determine if you have  this condition:  1­11 

You do not have this condition. 

12 

You are a clone of someone else, or you have been brainwashed  into becoming a mental doppelganger of someone else. Find  someone who has completed this worksheet and replace 50% of  your Kojima name with 50% of their Kojima name. 

5 

4.

THE KOJIMA CONDITION: Roll a d100 (or two d10s, using one as the 1s  place and the other as the 10s place.) Use this table to determine if you  have this condition:  1­68,  You do not have this condition.  70­100  69 

Oh no. You are Hideo Kojima. Hideo Kojima created you and is also  you. You are the man who created himself and there is nothing you  can do about it. You’re in Kojima’s world—your world—and that’s  just the breaks, pal. Stop this worksheet now. You’re Hideo Kojima.  Go do the things that Hideo Kojima does. 

 

Section 5: Determining Your Name Category  Kojima  names  fall  into  a  finite  number  of  categories.  This  section  will  determine  the  category  in  which  you  name  belongs.  NOTE:  If  you have a  name  +  6  alternate  names,  you  will  do  this  section  once  to  find  your  true  name, and then you will have an alternate name in every other category.    5.

Roll a d20. Use this table to determine your name category. Once you  have figured out your name category, you can skip ahead to the section  that outlines the rules of your name:  1 

You have a NORMAL NAME (See Section 6) 

2­6 

You have an OCCUPATIONAL NAME (See Section 7) 

7­10 

You have a HORNY NAME (See Section 8) 

11­13 

You have a THE NAME (See Section 9) 

14­17 

You have a COOL NAME (See Section 10) 

18­19 

You have a VIOLENT NAME (See Section 11) 

20 

You have a NAME THAT LACKS SUBTEXT (See Section 12) 

 

6 

Section 6: NORMAL NAME  Kojima’s  early  work  includes  lots  of  characters  that  have  names  that  are  widely  considered  to  be  “normal.”  Was  this  just because, in the early years,  he  didn’t  have  the  power  to  say,  “I’m  Hideo  Kojima,  I  can  name someone  Die­Hardman if I want to” without people questioning him? Probably.    1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 1 here. This is your full  Kojima name:  _______________________________________________________________________ 

2.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 

3.

That’s your name. Your Kojima name is probably just your actual name.  Sorry if you were expecting something wild. Skip to Section 13. 

Section 7: OCCUPATIONAL NAME  Kojima’s characters tend to be driven by the work that they do. That often  carries over to their names. You, too, can be nothing more than your job.    1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 2a here. This is your last  name:  _______________________________________________________________________ 

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name:  1 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 15 

2 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 6 

3 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 13 

4 

Your answer to Section 3, Number 16 

  3.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 

4.

That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13. 

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Section 8: HORNY NAME  Kojima’s  characters  and  stories  are  irrevocably  horny. Weirdly horny, sure, but horny nonetheless.    1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 3 here. This is your last  name:  _______________________________________________________________________ 

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name:  1 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 12. 

2 

Your first name is “Naked.” 

3 

Your answer is Section 2, Number 6. 

4 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 14. 

  3.

If you feel like it, your middle name can be “Lickable.” I won’t stop you. 

4.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 

5.

That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13. 

 

Section 9: THE NAME  Kojima  loves  to  make  people  have  names  that  start  with  the  word  “The”  and  they  usually  symbolize  fears  or  unstoppable forces. You are now that unstoppable force.    1.

Your first name is “The.” 

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name:  1 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 8 

2 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 9. 

8 

3 

Your answer is Section 2, Number 4a. 

4 

Your answer to Section 3, Number 20. 

  3.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. If you have any conditions  that go at the front of a name, they now go directly after “The.” 

4.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. 

Section 10: COOL NAME  Kojima loves to be cool. Sometimes, his idea of cool is a bit strange,  but it is always cool to Hideo Kojima, and that’s what matters.     1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 3, Number 21a here. This is your  first name:  _______________________________________________________________________ 

2.

Roll a d6. Use this table to determine your last name:  1 

Your answer to Section 3, Number 17. 

2 

Your answer to Section 3, Number 18. 

3 

Your answer to Section 3, Number 19. 

4 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 6. 

5 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 8. 

6 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 13. 

  3.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 

4.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. 

   

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Section 11: VIOLENT NAME  Sometimes,  a  Kojima  name  can  be  very  threatening  and  violent,  like  Sniper Wolf, or The Fury. Now you can also be threatening and violent.    1.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 5 here. This is your last  name:  _______________________________________________________________________ 

2.

Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name:  1 

Your answer to Section 3, Number 19. 

2 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 12. 

3 

Your answer to Section 3, Number 20. 

4 

Your answer to Section 2, Number 9. 

  3.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. 

Section 12: NAME THAT LACKS SUBTEXT  Sometimes,  Kojima  gives  up  and  just  names  a  character  exactly what they  are. Congratulations. You are exactly what you do.    5.

Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 10 here. This is your full  name:  _______________________________________________________________________ 

6.

Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 

7.

That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. 

     

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Section 13: Explaining Your Name  Kojima’s  characters know that their names are meaningful, and they will tell  you  it  completely  unprompted.  You,  too,  must  explain  your  name  to  any  potential friends, foes, or shadowy government institutions.    1. Use the following blank to fill in your monologue. Explain your Kojima name  to the best of your ability. Feel free to draw from personal experience,  friendships you’ve had, or just say some guy on the internet made you fill  out an 11­page worksheet to gain this name. Here’s a start:  Hi, I’m _________________________________________, and if you’re wondering how I  got this name, well, let me tell you. I ___________________________________________  ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________   

CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE  KOJIMA NAME GENERATOR.  11